5. Speckles (G-Force): Yes, so given last week's Fistful of Cage, it should come as no surprise (well, maybe a little surprise?) that I lead this week's Top Five with Speckles--The Great Puppet Master from Jerry Bruckheimer's 3-D Blockbuster-or-Bust family adventure that left a lot of critics gagging, but managed to find quite a few demented chuckles from this possibly-off-his-meds-nutjob. G-Force is not a good movie, not by a long shot, but I really appreciate how Nic Cage was stretching his voice chops...and he succeeds in channeling hero Mel Blanc. Speckles is not just a mole that's got a thing for worms, no, he also has the most wicked and demented narrative arc in the film. Makes it worth at least a rent.
4. Teddy (A.I.): Small Wonder Haley Joel Osment wishes he was a real boy and wanders through Spielberg's dystopia with no one by his side but his trusty Teddy...and eventually Jude Law's Gigolo Joe. Teddy ("I Am Not A Toy!") looks after Pinocchio with a creepy, sad, protective wisdom. He's adorable, but also terrifying. I want one.
3. Roger Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?): Roger Rabbit might be annoying as hell, but he's also funny enough to have snagged the hottest red head in Toontown. Plus, he can kill a Zoot Suited hyena with laughter and he's got a true appreciation for Shave and A Haircut...............TWO BITS!
2. Mr. Fox (The Fantastic Mr. Fox): Voiced by George Clooney, Mr. Fox is at once Super Cool TNT and a complete blowhard who causes nothing but trouble for his family. And then gets them out of it just as quickly. He's pure, wild animal craziness and he just wants a better tree to live in and maybe conquer that fear of wolves..."Pensez-vous que l'hiver sera rude?"
1. Blood (A Boy and His Dog): One of my all time favorite movies, A Boy and His Dog is directed by noted character actor LQ Jones from a novella by SF madman Harlan Ellison. Imagine The Road Warrior, but a little more batshit crazy. Blood watches out for Don Johnson's Vic. He keeps his mind sharp reciting the Presidents, he scopes out potential hotspots, he rattles off dirty limericks, and he calls Vic a putz when he needs being called a putz. He is man's best friend. And he's worth choosing over a lady.