Showing posts with label Michael Shannon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Shannon. Show all posts

Friday, December 13, 2013

Brad's Week in Dork! (12/1/13-12/7/13)


For the first week of December I thought it was time to get down & dirty with the forgotten films of 2013.  Netflix & VOD allowed me to scrounge the corners of cinema, checking off mediocre flicks like Paranoia as well as gems like The Grandmaster & Upstream Color.  Film.com's David Ehrlich unveiled his annual 25 Best, and as usual it got me pumped for a year I once considered the worst of the last ten.  Seriously, watch Ehrlich's construction below and you'll come away thinking maybe The Great Gatsby was a work of genius.  The list is peppered with absurd independent films, but the man is not afraid to drop in the occasional blockbuster i.e. Pain & Gain.


Only a few weeks left until I have to build my own Top Ten list, and I'm happy to report that it's shaping up into something special.  Thanks to last week's Fantastic Fest, The Great Beauty, and the AFI's European Union Film Showcase, 2013 is going to go down with some personal classics under it's belt.  Phew - cuz for a while it was looking pretty ugly.


Paranoia:  This is the type of film you go into knowing it's just gonna be bleck or blah.  Young hot stud branching out from a crappy teen franchise (Team Lautner!); playing smoochy face with Amber Heard while you desperately cling to a nostalgia for yesteryear's box office might.  Harrison Ford & Gary Oldman....you love them, I love them.  But don't let curiosity drag you down like it did me.  Paranoia is not a terrible movie.  It's not even bleck.  But it most certainly is blah.  I love Indiana Jones probably more than anybody else on the internet (FACT - not hyperbole, just trust me), but we all need to stop donating to his hospice fund.  If he can't bother to show up, neither should we.......JUST SAY NO TO EPISODE VII!  (As if any of us could stay away from the Star Wars beast - what else could we possibly bitch about?)


As I Lay Dying:  James Franco is a fascinating animal.  I am in total awe of him one moment (his insane bling master turn in Spring Breakers, the obscene lampooning of This Is The End) and loathing him the next (his flat goofy blank in Oz The Great & Powerful).  And that's simply from this year!  The man is a machine, cranking out one project after the next.  This William Faulkner adaptation seems to stay fairly close to the original as far as content is concerned, but director Franco gets in the way a bit too much thanks to never ending soooo-cute split screens, and a lotta wannabe Malick-leering.  The technique gets in the way of a tremendously depressing plot involving a family's epic quest to bury their long suffering mother.  Some impressive performances and attractive scenery are squandered by Franco's batshit style.


A Single Shot:  A young girl drops dead in the forest, a boodle of cash on her person.  Sam Rockwell's divorced hunter sets about the routine of his failing life only to run afoul of backwoods gangsters led by the slobberingly distasteful Jason Isaacs.  Since Moon, I pretty much pray to the alter of Rockwell, and I had high hopes for this deer hunter thriller.  Sadly, the credits ultimately roll on a rather unremarkable film.  Solid performance from Rockwell as always, and Geoffrey Wright's tiny role as the drunk buddy is a lot of fun, but, A Single Shot never ignited one wow from this audience member.  All I kept thinking about as the film droned on was the far superior A Simple Plan.


Movie 43:  Attempting to capture the charm and vulgarity of comedy anthologies like Kentucky Fired Movie & Amazon Women on the Moon, Movie 43 drags out a parade of celebrities to assault your senses.  Actually, I had a lot of fun with this movie.  Some sketches are sooooo not good (I'm looking at you Period Butt Chloe Grace Moretz!), but I unleashed several chortles during Hugh Jackman's testicle-neck and Elizabeth Banks's cartoon cat attack.  Yeah, I'm ashamed.  A little.  But there should be no guilty pleasures in life.  Own it.  Love it.  Deal with it......yes, Jackman has balls growing out of his neck, they dip in his soup, it's funny.


Planet of the Apes:  "There has to be something better than man."  The Wife & I have decided to tackle The Apes Franchise for the month of December.  We're not gonna rush it.  Probably do a movie a week, maybe double feature Escape & Conquest if possible.  I've always loved these films, but since knowing Matt & experiencing several years of Hest Fest, my appreciation for the original film has skyrocketed.  After every viewing I become more and more enchanted with the first twenty minutes of the movie.  Heston's astronaut wondering the deserts of a post-apocalyptic earth, belittling every dumb comment from his crew, and laughing at their absurd clinging to the past.  I'd love to see a proper prequel to this movie - with none of the ape stuff, just a glimpse at how (or why) Heston boarded that rocket to oblivion.  He's certainly one of the all time great pricks of science-fiction, and it's that asshole nature that allows him to battle the madhouse of the apes.  Science vs. Religion - the great debate as presented by Rod Serling's script & John Chambers's still incredibly evocative makeup.


Europa Report:  I've been looking for this kind of found footage film since I first heard the concept.  Europa Report is not simply the story of some chump following other chumps with a shaky-cam.  Done up as a documentary (the way Cloverfield should have been presented), the film details man's first attempt to reach beyond the moon and discover life in the stars - obviously it's a bit of a bumpy ride.  That being said, the script doesn't drag its characters down the typical narrative traps.  Isolation does not lead to catastrophic insanity.  Alien life does not equal snarling she-beasts....not exactly, anyway.  The format made me hesitant, but Europa Report works the technique better than any other film I've seen.  Seriously impressive.


Frances Ha:  I hated this movie.  I simply cannot fathom The Love it's receiving from the critical community, and I'll watch Criterion's Armageddon another fifty times before I ever watch their Frances Ha release.  I do not care about the problems of a stumbling 20 something.  Maybe it's because I survived that miserable decade with a smile on my face, and accepted adulthood as a joyous gift (says the man who owns more action figures than apartment space).  I do not find Greta Gerwig to be adorable.  Her awkward conversations and desperate grabs for friendship are certainly sad, but I felt no kinship with her pathetic plight.  Despite co-writing two of my favorite Wes Anderson pictures, Noah Baumbach has directed his third picture to grate my nerves (The Squid and The Whale & Greenberg being the others) and I think I'm pretty much done with his cinema of the whine.  I don't care how high on the Top Ten Lists they get.  I'm done.


The Iceman:  Not a great movie.  Run of the mill mobster stuff.  You've seen in all before.  And it's not as scary as the talking heads documentary done by HBO several years back.  Still, you can't help but get drawn in by Michael Shannon's intensity.  You certainly believe that he could be responsible for the deaths of hundreds.  Watching him operate a pistol gets me giddy for my Parker idea, Shannon is the guy who could do Richard Stark justice.  Chris Evans has a nice small roll and a fun wig as the ice cream hitman.  I wish the film focused more on their buddy-buddy assassination business.  I wish the film went crazy with fiction rather than the drabness of "Based on a True Story."  Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.


I Declare War:  It's no secret that I love the Alamo Drafthouse.  If I had the option, I'd spend every waking moment inside that theater up the street from my apartment.  Not only do they love movies, but they understand the "holy" aspect of the theater.  Yeah, the No Talking/Texting thing is great.  The Restaurant aspect takes a little getting used to, or at least you need to figure out a way to make it work for your experience.  But at the end of the day, the reason I hold the Alamo above all other theaters is because they openly worship cinema via their pre-show entertainment (no damn commercials), and they're branching out into the film distribution business themselves.  Some of their releases have been better than others, I'm still recovering from the disappointment of The FP, but others like A Field in England & The Act of Killing (see my upcoming 2013 Top Ten List for further detail on both) are outstanding works of art.  They're pushing the best of fringe cinema to the masses - thank you.  And I Declare War is certainly one of their top-tier projects.  Two teams of children compete in an intense game of Capture the Flag; their imagination transforming their sticks & stones into semi-automatic machine guns & grenades.  Things get messy.  Yeah, it's tough to see children dispatched with such fervor.  There's a good dose of Lord of the Flies in this film, but it's not simply about the savagery of man as I Declare War delves deeper into the seemingly tiny betrayals of youth, and the adulthood they inevitably birth.  It's always an iffy project when child actors are involved, but thankfully, directors Jason Lapeyre & Robert Wilson bend these kids to the needs of the screenplay.  Drafthouse Films might not be getting thousands of screens across the country, but they should own VOD.  Hit your TV sets, check it out.


Twixt:  "You are the ending you seek."  This is directed by the same man that gave us The Godfather, The Conversation, and Apocalypse Now......whaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!?  Hell, is this even the same guy who directed Jack?  It is absolutely baffling to watch Twixt.  And maybe it's totally unfair to judge a brand new work to films that have had decades to build an iconic status, but Twixt is sooooo insanely cheap and muddled that it's nearly impossible to feel anything but sadness when pushing yourself through the movie.  Val Kilmer is a hack writer dragging through a book tour when he lands in a spooky little village possibly haunted by vampires.  Bruce Dern is the nutty sheriff with an idea to feed, and Elle Fanning is the gothy blood luster.  There's also something about the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe and a evil biker named Flamingo, but the plot points never develop into anything more exciting than the basest of Stephen King imitations.  Sure, it's fun to watch Val Kilmer rant using his gay black basketball impersonation, but Twixt never elevates itself beyond train wreck cinema.


Drinking Buddies:  Olivia Wilde & Jake Johnson are a couple of pals with too much chemistry, and Ron Livingston & Anna Kendrick are the significant others who must suffer.  Much has been made about the film's improvisational manner, but I wonder if the film could have benefited from a stronger pen.  All the actors seem to have a handle on their characters, and their conversations feel honest, but that honesty possibly deprives the narrative of a satisfying conclusion.  But maybe I'm talking outta my butt.  Maybe the anti-climax is just where director Joe Swanberg wanted to take these people.  Still scenes play out, escalate in arguments, and are forced into resolution.  On the fly storytelling is just not what I'm looking for in the movies, but I bet it was fun for the actors.


The Grandmaster:  "Nothing lasts forever, and that's fine."  I didn't bother with this in the theater due to all the hubbub about The Weinstein's butchering of the Chinese Cut, but I wish I hadn't listened to that fanboy chatter cuz Wong Kar Wei's kung fu artistry should be seen on the biggest screen possible and not a teeny tiny VOD box.  That being said, I really loved the hell outta The Grandmaster, and I really need to check out the international edit.  Sure, it's another IP Man story, and blah, blah, blah he trained Bruce Lee.  That tiny bit of trivia has put a lot of asses in the seats, but Wong Kar Wei's film is more interested in the beauty of kung fu & less about the ass kickery.  The Grandmaster deals in the doom & gloom of honor; the inevitability of conflict when one holds so stringent to their teachers and their teachings.  It's all very badass, but it's miserable too.  It's a side of martial arts that is often touched upon, but never as fully explored as it is here.  The question becomes now, do I fork over the hard cash for that imported cut?  Yeah, I think so.


Dirty Wars:  "America knows war."  Journalist Jeremy Scahill navigates "the hidden truths" of America's covert operations in Afghanistan as well as various other dark corners.  It's the kind of documentary that tears at your soul for a couple of hours, but you can't help but question due to the absolute horror it dredges from underneath the Red, White, & Blue.  I sit softly in my apartment, surrounded by dvds, blu rays, action figures, and comic books.  What does such a posh life cost others?  The answer is probably something I never want to confront, but what evil continues if I keep my head buried in the sand?  Liberal agenda?  Truth?  Either way, I'm depressed.


Post Tenebras Lux:  "All I had to do was exist."  Not sure what the hell this one is about.  A child wanders in a field as thunder & lightening crash around her.  A husband beats upon a dog and demands anal sex from his wife.  A cartoon demon wanders about the house at night.  The husband & wife visit a sex dungeon.  Scenes drift into other scenes and I wonder if they belong to the same narrative or if they're just a collection of weird ass shorts.  Is this surreal cinema?  Or just bullshit.  I'm thinking bullshit.  It's certainly not interesting enough for me to explore any further.

Upstream Color:  A wicked little mindbender from Shane Carruth, the DIY director of the time traveler Primer.  A woman is kidnapped and her body manipulated by a toxin grown from a flower and transplanted through pig organs.  It's all very icky.  She is not the first, but will she be the last?  Upstream Color will require repeat viewings before I figure it all out, and maybe even then I'll be left scratching my head.  There are bits in this film that call back to the dreamy visuals of David Lynch,  Nicholas Roeg, and even John Boorman, but Upstream Color succeeds because its oddity is totally its own.  At the very least it's the kinda film you want to rip high definition stills from and wallpaper your computer for years to come.  Just gorgeous.


Cutie And The Boxer:  "Art is a demon."  A documentary love story between two elderly Japanese artists still desperate to strike it big in New York City.  Ushio Shinohara gained a little notoriety in the 1970s for his splatterpaint boxing canvases, but it never amounted to anything more than a human interest story and a tiny apartment.  In some respects this is a saga of the neverending artistic spirit, but in other aspects its a sad little tale of failed parenthood.  I've never really understood the world of abstract art.  Show me the Mona Lisa or Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer and I'll give you a thumbs up.  Plop a Warhol soup can in front of me and I'll give you a quizzical expression.  Cutie And The Boxer does not resolve my confusion, but it's a fun look at a couple in the know.


The Great Beauty:  After his 65th birthday, one-time novelist & full-time manslut Jep Gambardella deconstructs his lifestyle and delves into the memory of a lost love.  The Great Beauty is obviously inspired by the iconic works of Federico Fellini, but thanks to Tovi Servillo's captivating facial expressions, I emotionally connected with this film in a way I've never been able to with the Italian master.  You at once want to party with Servillo and run screaming to the hills.  The Roman Night Life is both dream and nightmare.  A hedonistic display wrought with cheap relationships, impenetrable self-delusion, and the very best of Euro Disco.  It's a Wonderland Gambardella has been lost in for decades, and one that will require massive amounts of introspection to pull himself out from the depths.  The Great Beauty is one of the year's very best films and no one is more surprised by that then me.


A Field In England:  Ben Wheatley's latest is as if a group of extras from Monty Python's Holy Grail wandered off set and into a Robert E. Howard short story populated by HP Lovecraft's Elder Gods, and directed by David Lynch's crazier kid brother.  In short, it might be the greatest genre mashup ever crafted.  To go too much into the plot would rob you of the experience; all I'm willing to offer is that four soldiers flee the battlefields of the English Civil War and discover something...odd in the countryside.  And mushrooms.  Sure, it's a head trip.  Wheatley has a lot of fun with his camera tricks and those prone to seizures best stay away (the strobe warning at the start is no joke), but the film is not just an effect.  It's a scary ass story of witchcraft, and a story absolutely worthy of Vincent Price and the arduous hunt to find it playing on a silver screen near you.  Another Top Tenner for 2013.


--Brad

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

New Release Tuesday!!! (9/3/13)


Today's pretty much a bust.  Sure, we've got a few flicks that I want to check out, but there's nothing out there right now screaming for a MUST BUY.  Don't worry though, next week the world will be blessed with Star Trek Into Darkness......uh, yeah....prepare for some epic hypocrisy on ITMOD's part.  Until then, grab your best glue-on Selleck 'stache and roll your pennies because Jesse Stone is all boxed up for your pleasure.

BUY?


Jesse Stone - The Complete Collection:  I grew up entranced by the cool of Tom Selleck.  Magnum P.I. was a staple of our household; to this day I'm just biding my time till The Wife & I can dump our lives and finally set up our Hawaiian detective agency.  Of course, we all know that Selleck was never able to break free from that character.  Despite wildly entertaining films like Runaway & Quigley Down Under, he never made a career out of the big screen like he rightfully deserved.  A few miserable misfires later (Mr. Baseball, Her Alibi) and Selleck simply settled into the TV guy.  Friends, Last Stand At Sabre River, Boston Legal, Monte Walsh.  Some decent stuff, but nothing terribly exciting.  When the Jesse Stone TV Movies plopped onto the boob tube I didn't really bother - they just seemed like the kinda movies the Barnes & Noble grannies consumed and no other.  Then the boys over at cineAWESOME! did their Stonetastic episodes, and they convinced me to purchase the first Robert Parker adaptation.  I was pretty much hooked.  You can read my own Jesse Stone adventures right HERE.  Ok.  They're not "great" films, but they are addictive.  And the series contains a killer cast of background players: Saul Rubinek, William Sadler, Viola Davis, Stephen McHattie, Rebecca Pidgeon, William Devane, Krista Allen, Mimi Rogers, etc.  And now all the Stone films are gathered in one big box complete with your very own PPD Baseball Cap.  But does it come with whisky & depression too?


Bay of Blood:  Kino continues its Mario Bava Blu Ray Collection with this grandaddy slasher.  Here is the film where Jason Voorhees got all his tricks.  Bay of Blood is not as classy or as iconic as Bava's Black Sabbath or Danger Diabolik, but it's certainly more grand guignol with the proper geysers of gore.  And as with previous Bava Kino releases, the bloody reds will look beautifully beastly in HD.


RENT!


The Iceman:  Haven't seen it yet, but Michael Shannon is definitely the guy to play the infamous mafioso hitman.  Just look at that poster!  Is there anything scarier than that stare?  Don't think so.  Too bad Zack Snyder couldn't quite capture the fear brought on by the Shannon brow.  Sure, he made plenty use of his twitchy screams...."I WILL FIND HIM!"  But that's neither here nor there, I'm just doing that blogger thing in which I slam on something while praising another - how very hipster of me?  After all, how else can I fill up this page with drivel?


Now You See Me:  I need to see this simply for the cast.  Word on the street is "mediocre" but I don't think another film this year has assembled a group of actors this eclectic or interesting.  I doubt Michael Caine & Morgan Freeman get much screentime, but I'm excited to see the Zombieland reunion of Woody Harrelson & Jesse Eisenberg.  Plus, Mark Ruffalo always cranks out a good detective.


Empire State:  Well, this just appeared outta nowhere.  How broken is cinema that a film staring The Rock goes straight to DVD?  Or is the real question, how terrible is Empire State that it goes straight to DVD?  Lughead Liam Hemsworth can't cut it in the NYPD so he settles for a gig driving an Armored Car.  Heists & Hijinks ensue, and The Rock shows up to take down the troublemakers.  The trailer looks.......like a movie.  A movie we've all seen a half dozen times already.  Still, Dwayne Johnson is making a play for 2013's Actor of the Year and ITMOD is committed to all of his properties.

AVOID!


The Lords of Salem:  I root for Rob Zombie.  Not sure why as nearly all of his films have disappointed me in some fashion.  The man has a sense of style for sure.  He obviously likes the same movies I like.  But as he pulls from Stanely Kubrick & Roman Polanski he just can't make his copies work on their own.  The Lords of Salem has a great cast of iconic actors, but it's also spearheaded by a vacuous lead performance from Zombie's own wife.  Frankly, if you're into this sorta thing you should probably just watch The Devil's Rain.  It's campy, stupid, beautiful, and genuine.  The Lords of Salem is just another nostalgic pretender to the throne.


Sharknado:  I just can't.  Purposeful "Bad Movie" Making is becoming more than a little tiresome.  I know we live in a pop culture universe where nostalgia is king, and we love to laugh at idiocy as much as we do at real comedy.  But Sharknedo?  It's a tornedo filled with sharks!?!?  That's hilarious!......no, it's dumb.  And the movie looks like crap cuz it is crap and not ironically amazing or whatever.  Stop supporting crap.  Go watch Death Race 2000 instead.


--Brad

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Dork Art: Mondo Man of Steel!


Here's some good news for Mondo fanatics!  Tired of loosing out just seconds after the online sale?  Well, at least for the above Martin Ansin print, Mondo will give you three days to score this seriously bitching Man of Steel print.   Similar to their Dark Knight Rises Olly Moss poster, from 12:01 AM on Friday through 12:01 AM on Monday, the print run will be as large as the demand.  Measuring 24 x 36 and costing $50.  There will be a variant print lasered into sheet metal that will set you back $300, but don't worry, you don't have a chance in hell of acquiring it anyway.  There is also a nifty Ken Taylor print going on sale this Friday.  Limited to 300 copies, the regular edition is also $50 while the 150 variant costs $75.  I dig the Taylor, but I'm seriously in love with the Ansin.  It will be mine.  Nice to know that I can actually make it happen.


--Brad

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

"Who You Kidding?" The Iceman Trailer Hits Hard


This second trailer for The Iceman feels much more like a proper movie.  I love Michael Shannon.  But as much as I've enjoyed flicks like Take Shelter and Shotgun Stories, I'm still waiting for this brick of a human being to play an iconic genre figure.  The more I think about it, the more I want to see him pick up the mantle of Richard Stark's Parker - definitely much more than the upcoming high kicks of Jason Statham.  Just look at the trailer below.  Tell me you can't imagine this beast marching his way through The Hunter.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Trailer: The Iceman


This looks interesting.  Like a lot of folks, I watched the hell outta the Iceman doc that HBO did several years back and that man seriously scared me.  And who better to play the contract killer than Michael Shannon.  Currently, I'm watching the second season of Boardwalk Empire and the man is just a freaking monster.  Every tight lipped word he utters gives me the spooks.  Now, partner him up with the always charming (even when he's all 70s'ed up) Chris Evans--this could be a lot of sick fun.



--Brad

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

New Release Tuesday! (8/28/12)


There's very little to get excited about this week, really just a bunch of TV and a few rentals.  And Battleship...so...yeah-whoopdeedoo!  But Boardwalk Empire, that's a seriously entertaining show.  Sure, sure, sure - it's not Deadwood genius, but let that go already.  It should also be noted that Universal is reissuing Vertigo & The Birds on DVD but for some reason, no blu ray.  What the hell?  Especially with Vertigo toppling Citizen Kane off the Sight & Sound list; it sure would be nice to see Jimmy Stewart go off the deep end in 1080p.  Oh well.

BUY!


Boardwalk Empire Season 2:  I missed this show upon its initial run on HBO, but similar to Game of Thrones, when I got the blu rays I whipped through the first season in just two days.  All this talk of "It's Not As Good As Sopranos" is just nonsense.  This is a damn fine show with a damn fine cast and an amazing production crew.  In a career marked with amazing, strange, and memorable performances Steve Buscemi gives his best as the ambitious mini-kingpin of Atlantic City.  And Michael Shannon is sooooooo utterly terrifying as the G-Man determined to take him down.  I know, Shannon is always terrifying but in Boardwalk Empire he's righteously terrifying and his stare is as scary, if not scarier than anything you can find in the horror genre.


Walking Dead Season 2:  I go back and forth on this show.  Some bits of it are absolutely amazing.  But some character choices are also incredibly frustrating.  I can appreciate the departures it takes from the far superior comic book series, but Lori needs to make up her damn mind, shut up, and just die already.  But the Shane/Rick relationship is far more interesting than it ever was in the comic.  And there's a heckuva cool season finale that gets me pumped for the next season.  Plus, the gore.  Nothing nastier on TV.  So yeah, I've got the first season in blu and I will have the second--and if I'm gonna buy it I might as well get the Zombie Head.

RENT!


The Pirates! - Band of Misfits:  Nobody in America saw this flick.  Well, that's not true.  The Wife and I did.  And we enjoyed it quite a bit.  But after the disappointing box office of this, Paranorman, and the recent shutdown of Henry Selick's latest I guess America just doesn't give a crap about stop motion animation anymore.  And that's a damn shame.  I love the Pixar stuff as much as the next guy, but I've always been fascinated with the artistry and the time that gets put into stop motion and Aardman Studios are true masters of the craft.  But technique is not the be-all and end-all of a good movie.  You've got to have a script.  And The Pirates is a damn funny send-up of booty flicks like those Johnny Depp blockbusters as well as lesser known gems like Nate & Hays.  Plus, Darwin...what a prick.


Headhunters:  Norwegian/German production of Jo Nesbo's acclaimed serial killer novel.  This got a lot of love from critics and I'm curious to check it out.  Since Girl With The Dragon Tattoo everyone's gone gaga for Scandinavian terror flicks, but I have yet to be won over by any of them.  Will Headhunters be the one?  Don't know.  But it's at the top of my Netflix queue.


Screaming in High Heels:  Documentary detailing the rise and fall of B Movie actresses Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer, and Linnea Quigley.  The trailer for the doc don't amaze me, but neither did the trailers for Machete Maidens Unleashed & American Grindhouse and I enjoyed the hell outta those.  And these actresses and their crappy little direct-to-video flicks were very important to 13 year old Brad.  I'm ready to relive that glorious time of Fred Olen Ray cheapies.



AVOID!


Battleship:  Some sick part of me wants to see this again.  Was it really as boring as I remember it being?  Did Taylor Kitsch actually utter the line "Chicken Burrito Her!"  Liam Neeson was cool, right?  He's awesome in everything, right?  But I can wait another six months before I torture myself with this dull ass summer flick.


--Brad

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Brad's Week In Dork! (2/26/12-3/3/12)


Man, this was a crazy Week in Dork.  Started it off at my folks house for their (forced upon by me) 84th Academy Awards party and like usual, I enjoyed that red carpet nonsense much more than I probably should.  The rest of the week was spent mostly cranking out the usual whacky eclectic collection of cinema's oddest and it climaxed with an intense bit of internet nerd warfare for San Diego Comic Con tickets.


And over at cineAWESOME! I completed my first run of Western Reviews.  I've been having a blast with these movies and it's been fun traveling through the genre decade by decade, starting with the 1940s of The Ox-Bow Incident to the 2000s of Seraphim Falls.  This week cineAWESOME! is taking part in the Korean Blogathon and I'll be contributing with my review for The Good The Bad The Weird and maybe The Man From Nowhere.  I'd love to get my hands on some more Manchurian Westerns but that's proving to be rather difficult.


TV OF THE WEEK!


The 84th Academy Awards:  My thoughts on The Oscars...it's bullshit.  And they've been bullshit from the very first show in 1929 when William Wellman's Wings took Best Picture.  Sure, having now seen that film I can say that it's a wonderful movie, but Fritz Lang's Metropolis is a damn masterpiece and it wasn't even nominated.  So, now that we call all agree that the Academy Awards have always been bullshit than we can just get over ourselves and enjoy the silliness of the event.  At it's best, The Oscars provide the opportunity for Film Dorks like myself to talk movies with other folks that usually don't seem to care.  The week leading up to the ceremony was a blast at work as all my coworkers debated the merits of The Artist vs. Hugo vs. The Descendants vs. whathaveyou.  There seems to be a lot of backlash out there these days for the French Silent and whether Harvey Weinstein bought the award or not is irrelevant.  The Artist is a damn good time at the movies, and like last year's Kings' Speech, it might not have been the movie I would have gone with I was certainly happy with its win.  And when was the last time that The Year's Best Film actually took home Oscar anyway?  1993 with Unforgiven, that's when.  And when you consider that awful dreck like Crash, Chicago, and Titanic have taken the award in recent past I think we got off pretty lucky.  As far as the rest of the winners, haven't seen The Iron Lady yet and probably never will so I can't tell you if Streep deserved it or not, but like Alec Baldwin says you can't really hate on that lady for winning anything--she's The Streep.  I do wish Clooney had taken the big boy home, but I guess the Academy was happy enough with his Supporting Win for Syrianna from a few years back.


The Walking Dead "18 Miles Out":  This was probably my favorite episode of The Walking Dead this season.  Rick & Shane have to travel 18 Miles Out from The Farm to dump the captive Randall out into the zombie infested world.  The ep provided for some serious philosophical battle between the two former Best Buds and even though the story certainly didn't resolve their conflict it brought it to a boiling  point that's impossible to cool down from here.  As the show reaches for it's season climax I don't think it will end with them chummy chummy.  One of these guys is gonna die.  And "18 Miles Out" also showed off some pretty fantastic Ernest Dickerson (Tales Form The Crypt: Demon Knight!) direction and lots of KNB gross, gross, gross zombie makeup.


Supernatural "Repo Man":  Aw man.  When are we getting back to the Leviathans?!?!  And how about Castiel!?!?  We know he's not dead, get on with it!  Instead, this episode decided to reintroduce the crazy Sam storyline with Mark Pellegrino's Lucifer still putzing about his frustrated melon.  I love Pellegrino and I'm all for more appearances but this just feels like an arc we should have been done with seasons back.  Let's get focused on the war with Dick Roman's evil turduckens!


Justified "The Man Behind The Curtain":  After last week's extremely mediocre turn, this episode was definitely a bit of a step up but not much.  I love you Justified, but you're better than this filler stuff.  Yes, it's nice to see the Neal McDonough's Quarles character expanded upon and I love that last bit with him and Gary at the bar.  And it's cool to see Supernatural's Jim Beaver starting to find a home in Boyd Crowder's plan for Harlan County Survival.  But will this season be able to bring all these dispirit elements together for an explosive climax of badassery?  Probably.  This is Justified, after all.



MOVIES OF THE WEEK!


Seraphim Falls:  ‎"He ain't going nowhere. We let him bleed." Liam Neeson pursues Pierce Brosnan from the snowy death of the Ruby Mountains to the barren deserts of the Wild West below; this is an excellent Revenge Chaser backed up by a couple of vicious performances from its two leads, and if it didn't falter with an annoying flashback explanation and the unnecessary weird western appearances of Wes Studi & Angelica Huston than Seraphim Falls would rank as one of the Westerns recent Bests. As is, this is a solid genre entry that can probably be credited as the beginning of Neeson's recent trend of badassery.  Again, to read further thoughts on this rage filled Western, check out cineAWESOME!


Take Shelter:  As a longtime fan of Michael Shannon's particular brand of insanity, Take Shelter is a tremendous treat in which we witness Shannon's possibly delusional family man fight himself, his wife, and the entire town in preparation for the Great Weather Apocalypse. A tremendously uncomfortable film to watch, you should be in the right/prepared mind before consumption. And yeah, I'm still mulling over those last couple of seconds--if you've seen it and want to chat it out with a fellow Shannon-o-phile, let me know. And yeah, Shea Whigham is still all kinds of awesome even in the disposable best bud role here.  "Whoa."


Dream House:  Gah. Such a waste of talent. Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, Naomi Watts, and Elias Koteas come together for the most rudimentary of ghost/crazy guy/murder mysteries/whatever. All put in solid work...except for the screenwriter who pulls out his Connect-The-Dots DIY guide to spooky shenanigans and delivers a film barely worth the time of this mini-review. Shame. Yawn.


Salmon Fishing in the Yemen:  When the narrative is not muddled with unnecessary third party love interests and anti-fish terrorist attacks, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is a sweet little romance between Ewan McGregor and Emily Blunt hooked on an enjoyably cutie British high concept.  And I found great pleasure in Amr Waked's visionary sheik and his happily hopeful outlook on humanity. Lasse Hallstrom definitely scores some big smiles, but again, what's with the assassination attempts and the soldier boy heartstring manipulations?  Eye roll.


Rampart:  Director Oren Moverman teams up with the hateful scripting of James Ellroy for a furious look into the life of the "most corrupt cop you've seen on screen" (so claims the trailer, and they're not far off the mark but I'd like to point out Street Trash's Bill the Cop). Rampart is a hard film to watch. Harrelson continues a streak of undeniably powerful performances, but as his life spirals out of control and into horrid techno club burrito feasting and Ben Foster beatings I also found myself failing to connect on an emotional level. The man is scum, and no one writes scum better than Ellroy but it misses the spark found in the heinous characters of his novels.  Still, that burrito...gross.


Coriolanus:  "Make You A Sword of Me!" Ralph Fiennes stars and directs in this lesser known Shakespeare adaptation (I certainly had never read or seen the play before this viewing) and delivers a fine bit of Hate Cinema. Fiennes is a beast, and when he rages upon the citizens or beats upon a blood soaked Gerard Butler I found myself crawling up into my seat; the savagery of the words is more violent than any of the ferocious attacks. Brian Cox is plenty fun as the consigliere, but it's Vanessa Redgrave's conniving mother that steals most scenes when Fiennes is not present.  But look at that poster stare above--f'ing terrifying.


Fit To Kill:  "How Can I Kill Such A Beautiful Creature?" "Just Think Of The Money." Dona Speir passes the Lethal Lady torch to Julie Strain in her final Andy Sidaris outing and its typically wonderful in that special Malibu Express kinda way. In this T&A Adventure that ties into WWII's Valkyrie assassination plot to kill Adolf Hitler, Agents Donna and Roberta Vasquez must team up with Roger Moore's son RJ to fend of Strain's hitwoman and the Red Chinese. Yes, it's more of the same but that's a great plus, not a negative.


Enemy Gold:  "This Is All We Dreamed Of As Kids! Yes!" From the crazed Valkyrie Diamond Heist plot of the last film to the crazy Quantrill's Lost Treasure Plot of Enemy Gold, Andy Sidaris seems to enjoy butchering history along with his heaps of random T & A. Donna Speir & her regular cohorts are gone, replaced by Julie Strain's Bad Girl and Suzi Simpson's bear-phobic agent--Becky Midnight! Bruce Penhall is still around, but I miss the old gang. Still, Enemy Gold has all the awkward dialog and even awkwarder sex scenes to pass time in front of the late night boob tube.


Hannie Caulder:  Wildly uneven in tone, Hannie Caulder goes from horrific rape sequence to goofy sexualized Raquel Welch bathing...but I gotta admit, that's part of the film's cheesy charm. Robert Culp rocks a wicked beard as the bounty hunter who schools Welch in the ways of shoot 'em up vengeance and Ernest Borgnine, Jack Elam, & Strother Martin are The Three Stoogeiest batch of comical violators you've ever encountered. Hannie Caulder does contain one very cool bandit showdown involving (again, beaded) Christopher Lee and a mysterious, unknowable stranger. But at the end of the day the collision of comedy & rape keeps Hannie Caulder from being anything more than an oddity.


Frankenstein Conquers The World:  Question: "Does He Really Eat Dogs and Cats?" Answer: Yes. After the Hiroshima bomb turns a halfbreed child into a giant Frankenstein Monster that smashes all over Japan until the army wakes up Baragon, a Godzilla like Unicorn tunnel rat that loves to squash puppet horses when he's not breathing fiery radiation. Definitely one of the better Kaiju movies, Frankenstein Conquers The World seems to have been written by a five year old me--and then a boar attacks and then the forrest is on fire and then a volcano erupts and then this happened and that happened. So much silly fun.


Justice League Doom:  The animation looks nice and it's a solid voice cast, but Doom takes Mark Waid's cool concept from the Tower of Babel comic and delivers a basic punch 'em up actioner. The whole idea that Batman is the reason for all of the Justice League's super villain problems is barely glanced over and I left the film with about as much enthusiasm as I had for the weak Batman/Superman outings and craving the New Frontier and Wonder Woman good stuff. Come on, DC Animated, you're better than this.


War of the Gargantuas:  "You still want to wet nurse that monster?" This sequel (if you say so) to Frankenstein Conquers The World opens with a green gargantuan man battling it out with a giant octopus to the catastrophe of an innocent Japanese sailing vessel. From there the green Gargantua heads for land and proceeds to battle it out with a brown Gargantua as Russ Tamblyn's scientist tries to figure out what it all means: brother vs borther...it's a lot like countries vs countries...yeah, sure Russ. If yer in the mood to watch two dudes in rubber suits wrestle each other over model cities than War of the Gargantuas will fit the bill just fine, but if you're looking for something a bit more wacky/zany than stick with Frankenstein. VF.



COMIC OF THE WEEK!


The Last Musketeer by Jason:  After devouring Jason's I Killed Adolf Hitler I was recommended The Last Musketeer by the fine folks over at Big Planet Comics and it far exceeded my expectations. Athos of the The Three Musketeers is still puttering around a modern France; no one wants to share a drink with him and his buddy Aramis has a few dollars of pity for him but not the the time to spare on his adventures. But then Ming the Merciless invades France and it's up to Athos to do battle for the King and introduce cigarettes to the Martians. The Last Musketeer is an odd trip for sure, but if you're a fan of Alan Moore & Kevin O'Neal's literary riffing than you should also enjoy this kooky bit of mondo. And it has gobs of charm bursting from its pages. I definitely need more Jason in my life.


WARFARE OF THE WEEK!


San Diego Comic Con 2012 Tickets:  Yep, last year's battle for Comic Con tickets was definitely more frustrating than this year, what with all the multiple days of website crashes and the like, but at least last year I was able to score Badges for all four days.  This year, Comic Con smoothed things out a little better with Member IDs and email links--but that damn link didn't work and I was floundering around for a couple minutes before Facebook friendlies pointed me in the direction of the proper working link on Comic Con's actual website.  In those few moments of floundering I lost my opportunity to snag all four days and came away after an hour of internet line waiting with just Thursday and Sunday badges.  Lame.  But I'm still more than happy.  Having now been to Comic Con just once, I want to go every year for the rest of my life.  It's Dork Mecca, and during those four days there's no happier place on Earth than San Diego.  So I'll take part in the quieter days this year.  And I'll travel across the country to do so.  Madness?  You're damn right.


--Brad