Brad's Week in Dork! (12/29/13-1/4/14)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  That feels good.  2013 was a gas, but I'm quite pleased to be through the Holiday Hoopla, and I'm looking forward to devoting more attention to the blog.  Most of this week was concerned with formulating my Favorite Films of the year as well as the rest of the Dorkies.  As I stated there, 2013 ended up being one of my favorites as far as the Pop Culture scene was concerned.  Nicholas Winding Refn cranked out his best film yet (Only God Forgives), Martin Scorsese proved that no matter how hard they try (American Hustle) there is still only one guy right for the job (The Wolf of Wall Street), and the more I think on it, Edgar Wright's latest (The World's End) slowly eeks its way to the top of the Cornetto Trilogy.

Not to mention, this year I actually witnessed Martin Scorsese deliver his Jefferson Lecture "The Persistence of Vision," I sat in the front row of Hall H where Samuel L Jackson actually stared me down, saw the 4K Restoration of Lawrence of Arabia at the AFI Silver, met Peter Tork, discovered the surreal genius of Keoma, and won a Tyler Stout Mondo Print signed by Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, & Edgar Wright at the Cornetto Trilogy Screening of The Alamo Drafthouse, which in turn has become my new home away from home.  Yeah, I should say that's a pretty good year.

Jaime Foxx Does Django For Spidey (I Took This Photo!!!)

I'm pretty gosh darn excited by the prospect of the new year.  How can 2014 top 2013?  Dunno, but I can't wait to find out.  This particular week in transition began with another bit of cinematic shame finally getting checked off my Resolution list - Singin' in the Rain.  How had I never seen this before?  Not sure.  I was just never much of a musical kid; I'm happy to report that I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The last film I saw in the theater in 2013 was David Fincher's Zodiac (again, at The Alamo Drafthouse).  One of my all time favorite films, I was a bit bummed that co-dork Matt doesn't seem to quite "get it."  My first film of the new year was Man of Steel, the rewatch was prompted by a conversation I had with my brother-in-law at our annual New Year's Party.  So much to love, so much to hate.  But the first film I saw theatrically of the New Year was Saving Mr. Banks.  I enjoyed it, but certainly not as much as The Wife.  She got all filled with emotions with this Marry Poppins lovefest.

I also got off my duff and finally got back into Sweet Tooth comics.  Apart from our Graphic Novel Book Club (aka The Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Graphic Novel Book Club), I feel like I've been neglecting the comic book medium lately.  Sure, I hit up Big Planet Comics every week, but I've got a massive stack of graphic novels I need to work my way through.  There's a New Year's Resolution for sure.  Not to mention the fact that I've left both my Scorsese-A-Thon & John Carpenter-A-Thons hanging.  Gotta find my Elvis dvd or simply buy another one.  As far as why I haven't watched New York Stories yet.....it looks dull....but Goodfellas follows that so there are no excuses.  Anyway, let's get on with the mini-reviews shall we?

P.S. I'm growing a beard!

Singin' In The Rain:  "You're nothing but a shadow on film."  I honestly had no idea what this movie was about.  I knew there was rain in it.  I knew there was singing.  Some sorta romance.  And yep, all those things are there.  But I was kinda flabbergasted to discover that the backdrop for the film was the transition from the Silent Era into the Talkies.  That must sound silly to all you die-hards out there, but once the Hollywood biography started to get hashed, my interest immediately perked up.  Sure, the big song & dance numbers are fantastic.  Gene Kelly is great, but I was even more enamored with Donald O'Connor's sidekick character - the "Make 'Em Laugh" number is joyous, but it also has a nice bit of biting truth to it.  What's the next Golden Era Musical I have to hit?  Yankee Doodle Dandy?  Show Boat?  Guys And Dolls?  Certainly The Jazz Singer.  A whole genre of film missing from my brain.  Maybe that's my great quest of 2014.

Pain & Gain:  This was mostly background noise while I worked on this year's Dorkies.  But what beautiful background noise!  Finally all of Michael Bay's weird, misogynistic, homophobic, mocking humor makes all the sense in the world.  A "True Film" about a trilogy of dumbbells committing heinous acts in the pursuit of The American Dream.  It's a hilarious watch, and a rather painful one if you think too deeply into the real events that inspired this idiocracy.  The Rock gives his single greatest performance so far, but Mark Wahlberg should get some serious recognition as well.  No one can do moronic earnestness quite like this guy.  And I still argue that it has as much to say about our deeply flawed Nation as Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street.

Keoma:  If I could grow Keoma's beard I most certainly would.  Franco Nero is a wild man native returned home after the cataclysmic conclusion of the Civil War.  A group of bandits (a perfect collection of pricks one can only see in Spaghetti Westerns) have staked claim over the land, and it's up to Nero & Woody Strode to slaughter their hateful asses.  The plot is straightforward, but it's telling is so wonderfully dreamy thanks to its slow-mo gunsmoke ballets, the constant guttural caws of the score, and Keoma's metaphorical ability to walk in & out of his past.   When people think of Italy's contribution to the West they think The Good, The Bad, & The Eastwood.  If they reach a little beyond that then maybe they think of Sergio Corbucci or Django.  But for my money, the niftiest entry of the sub-genre is Enzo Castellari's Keoma.  Is it my favorite?  Tough call...The Great Silence is sooooo beautifully ugly...but give me three or four more rewatches of this Weird Western and Keoma might very well land on the top.

Haywire:  Steven Soderbergh is a fascinating animal.  He burst onto the scene with a Sundance Classic (Sex, Lies, & Videotape) that absolutely revolutionized Hollywood and paved the way for indie darlings like Quentin Tarantino, then Sophomore Slumped for a series of films (Kafka, King of the Hill, The Underneath, Schizopolis), knocked one out of the park (Out of Sight) creating a megacelebrity (George Clooney), crafted a brilliant love letter to John Boorman (The Limey), floundered with Oscar Bait (Erin Brokovich, Traffic), made bank on Blockbusters (The Oceans Trilogy), drowned in drivel (Full Frontal, Bubble, The Good German, Che, The Girlfriend Experience), and found new life in his final series of weirdo genre pictures (The Informant!, Contagion, Magic Mike, Haywire, Side Effects).  Has there ever been a career with more peeks or valleys?  Of his last batch, The Informant! is probably my intellectual favorite, but the one I watch the most is Haywire.  I mean - Wow! - that Fight-to-the-Death hotel room brawl between Gina Carano & Michael Fassbender is AWEsome!  Possibly my favorite asskicking this side of They Live.  The rest of the film is good too, but that Fassbender beatdown....that's some real movie magic.  I wish Soderbergh all the best in TV Land, but I doubt he'll stay there for long.  The Silver Screen will call you again sir.  Whatever type of picture you decide to make should certainly prove interesting.

Zodiac:  My favorite film of the last 13 years.  This fact seems to baffle Matt.  He just keeps saying "it sure is 3 hours long."  I tell him it's the best police procedural of all time, he says he preferred The Silence of the Lambs.  I'v been thinking about this.  I too love The Silence of the Lambs.  Great movie. Duh.  But it's not really a procedural, is it?  I think what elevates Zodiac so high in my pantheon of All Time Favorite Movies is how meticulous the film is with the investigation - and the obsession born from it in Robert Graysmith.  There are no real answers here, but Graysmith has to hunt them down.  He sacrifices family for the Zodiac.  He might even fool himself in the process.  It's tragic.  It's ultimately pointless.  And David Fincher perfects his clinical eye with this film, and it's never been more suited for a subject.

Man of Steel:  2013 marked the 75th anniversary of Superman.  A milestone for capes & spandex.  But he's never been a character I've really gravitated towards.  I guess I enjoyed the Christopher Reeve films as much as any kid my age, but when I rewatched them earlier this year they didn't have the same shine I once remembered.  Reeve himself is astonishing as the character.  It's a great performance.  But there's plenty of room for improvement as far as the script and side characters are concerned.  I thought Bryan Singer's love poem, Superman Returns was fairly fun if not utterly forgettable, and I was soooooo ready for Zach Snyder to add a little freeze-frame punch to the franchise.  I am, after all, not a Snyder-hater (yes, yes, yes, Sucker Punch sucked).  What I love about Man of Steel:  Russell Crowe's Jor-El & his holo-ghost, Pa Kent's barnyard revelation to young Clark, Amy Adams's plucky newswoman, and the Metropolis Holocaust (yep, two gods meet in an American City...we are fucked). What I hate about Man of Steel:  Pa Kent's utter fear for his son culminating in his final act, Michael Shannon's Screaming Zod, the kissy face in a crater of human ash, and the neck break.  I could probably handle most of my beef if not for Pa Kent.  His parenting seems all wrong for the character.  That being said, there is enough here for me to enjoy the film for years to come.  I can't really say I'm stoked for Batman vs Superman, but I'm certainly curious to see what they cook up, and how all these icons are going to fit with each other.  But if you really want to get to the heart of the Man of Steel, and you've always had trouble like me, then please read Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's All-Star Superman.  It's a beautiful depiction of Supes as well as that Golden Age of Comics.

Furious 6:  Not the Action-Packed Roller Coaster Revelation that was Fast Five, this film still manages to pack more fun into car crashes than it has any right.  Frankly, I'm still just shocked at how much of a fan I've become of this franchise.  It wasn't too long ago that I was mocking the first film and downright being a jerk towards 2 Fast 2 Furious.  Now it's 2014, Paul Walker died tragically, and I'm desperately awaiting word on how they'll honor him in Fast Seven.  This series is a goof.  A lark.  But there is something so absolutely charming about the intensity in which they support the notion of family.  We all might be thieves and gunrunners, but we love each other and we know how to crack a skull when we have to.  Fast Five took the franchise into the realm of the unreal, and Furious 6 practically throws a cape over The Rock while he's tossing thugs across rooms.  Don't fool yourself.  This is the very best of Comic Book Cinema.

Saving Mr. Banks:  "The Mouse is Family."  I was a little nervous going into this one.  A friend shot me a link to Harlan Ellison's latest rant, and his tirade nearly brought me into a frenzy against The Disney Machine.  How dare they purport PL Travers's complacency for Mary Poppins when she most certainly did not appreciate the adaptation.  And maybe this film doesn't go into her eventual contempt for the film, but it also doesn't reveal her to be joyous either.  This is a nifty, surface level exploration of  the writing process, and the romance one can have with their creation.  Emma Thompson starts this film as a shrill, nearly psychotic "Writer" battling it out with the Keeper of Dreams, Walt Disney.  A cynic could easily tear this film apart.  But there were several moments in the movie where I thought it understood and appreciated PL Travers's preciousness for her character.  One scene (where musical & biography collide) that nearly brought me to tears in my seat.  Is it the best film of 2013?  No.  Not even close.  But I imagine if you (like my wife) already have great affinity for the Disney Film then you'll just adore Saving Mr. Banks.  And when is Harlan Ellison not ranting? - don't sue me!

MST3K - I Accuse My Parents:  "Can I interest you in a size of ME?"  For the new year, The Wife & I have committed to watching as many episodes of Mystery Science Theater as we can.  When I hear Joel, Tom Servo, and Crooooooow snicker and jeer their way through some shoddy movie it immediately takes me back in time.  I'm 12 years old, it's way past my bedtime, and I'm snorting up a bowl of CT Crunch as The Killer Shrews shuffle about my tv screen.  Ah...bliss.  I Accuse My Parents is one of those terrible cautionary tales in which a teenage shoe salesman goes on a kill crazy rampage because his mom was a drunk.  Boo hoo, kid, it's tough all over.  Good jokes, but also not the finest hour for the Gizmonic Institute.  Looking forward to the next one.

Sweet Tooth Volumes 3-5 by Jeff Lemire:  My goodness, these are some wonderfully sad comics.  Volume 2 left poor Sweet Tooth in the hands of some diabolical scientists, and Volume 3 picks up with Mr Jeppard marching to the rescue before Doctor Singh can gut the deer boy open, and dissect just how these hybrids avoid The Sickness.  I enjoyed the first few chapters of this series, but once Jeff Lemire gets these guys out of the camps and on the road of discovery, the saga really begins to take shape.  What is Sweet Tooth?  A man made creation or some ancient god of the earth?  I don't know, but I'm betting whatever the answer it's a depressing one.  Not for the faint of heart...or the squeamish, Sweet Tooth is an apocalypse story drowning in dread.  And I love it.  One trade to go, should be done in a few days.

Drew - The Man Behind The Poster:  If you're in your mid-30s and you love movies then you love Drew Struzan.  The premiere illustrator who birthed countless posters for such films as Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, Back to the Future, Harry Potter, Masters of the Universe, and Police Academy.  I've been collecting his work since I was fourteen.  Behind every framed poster in my house, you can probably find a Struzan buried behind whatever current obsession.  This is a typical talking-heads documentary, but I was pleased to discover how in-depth it goes into some of his creations.  And I certainly appreciated hearing the praise coming from such icons as George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Michael J Fox, Ken Kelly, and Steve Guttenberg.  Harrison Ford at the junket, though?  That's awkward.  It's currently on Netflix Streaming, give it a whirl.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (11/10/13-11/16/13)

I took it easy this week.  Nothing too exciting or revolutionary was consumed.  The best bits involved John Carpenter and everybody's favorite inmate.  I cranked out one new film from 2013 (too bad it was a meh), and our latest meeting of The Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Graphic Novel Book Club was a rip roaring success.  Still, I will have to do much better next week.  (Pssst...since this is going up several days late, I can tell you that next's week's entry is waaaaaaaay better.  Two words - Fantastic Fest!).

Ain't Them Bodies Saints:  Not quite Bonnie & Clyde or Badlands, this tale of outlaw romance is too one sided to claim kinship with superior films, but director David Lowery certainly seems intent on imposing Terrance Mallick's self-important lingering eye on the characters and setting.  After several years of incarceration, Casey Affleck escapes the state pen in a mad dash to reunite with his wife and daughter.  Rooney Mara hides too much emotion, and the question of her undying love for Affleck is more frustrating than compelling.  If I liked anything about this wannabe Texas Noir, it's the side players.  Ben Foster stretches beyond his usual rage fueled persona, and actually captures a sadsack with his portrayal of Deputy Wheeler, lost in the gaze of the equally lovelorn Mara.  And of course I love Keith Carradine playing a scumbag cowboy of yesteryear.  If the film actually took his point of view than maybe I would have given a damn about the plot.

Man of Steel:  There is so much that I love about this film - the birth of Kal-El, the destruction of Krypton, Russell Crowe's badass space daddy, and yes, the third act nonstop devastation of Metropolis.  But there is also so much that I hate about this film - Michael Shannon's screaming Zod, the nonstop shaky cam, and Pa Kent's desperate fear for his alien son.  Still, I was quick to snatch up the blu ray this week and it's looks gorgeous in high definition.  You will believe a man can fly.  Then I watched the Honest Trailer.  Yikes.  "...this is the reboot for you psycho."  The Screen Junkies have a special ability to cut to the quick of Blockbuster Idiocy, and their latest Man of Steel ribbing just might be the most brutally accurate attack yet.  Funny as hell too.  Man of Steel is not garbage, but it's also not The Dark Knight it so desperately want to be - Snyder certainly doesn't understand or appreciate the differences between DC Comics's flagship characters.  Which is not only a shame, but utterly pathetic when you think of how Marvel Studios seems to have cracked the nut of not just their Avengers, but the god damn Rocket Raccoon.  Madness.

Thor - The Dark World:  Coming off my Man of Steel rewatch, I'm even more impressed with the universe building going on at The House of Ideas.  This God of Thunder sequel certainly doesn't reach the heavens like The Avengers or even Iron Man 3, but I really appreciate the adventurous spirit of this science-fiction fantasy.  Space Ships and Lasers and Elves Oh My!  Marvel Studios doesn't seem interested in elevating the super hero genre, only in establishing it's comic book roots into the multiplexes.  Are the films as good as the funny pages?  Not yet.  But we're well on our way.

Escape From New York:  "You gonna kill me now, Snake?"  Kurt Russell does Clint Eastwood in yet another faux Western from John Carpenter, and its a masterpiece of 80s machismo.  Escape From New York manages to walk the line of camp and super cool TNT.  It's the 1990s.  America has gone to pot.  Manhattan has been transformed into a maximum security prison to house the very worst of its home grown scum.  Murderers, Rapists, Cab Drivers.  When Air Force One crash lands behind the walls, Lee Van Cleef's warden can think of only one thing to do - send in celebrity outlaw Snake Plissken to take down Isaac Hayes's overlord and retrieve POTUS.  Sure, that makes sense.  Everyone might think he's dead, but Kurt Russell's Snake is very much alive as he dispatches a cadre of freaks - my favorite being the shark toothed Frank Doubleday.  Man,  that dude is scary.  Escape From New York is packed with great supporting players like Harry Dead Stanton, Adrienne Barbeau, Ernest Borgnine, and Donald Pleasance.  None of them get terrible amounts of screen time, but all seem to take great pleasure in chewing the scenery.  "You're the Duke!  You're A Number Onnnnnnnnne!!!!!"  Seriously, if you've been watching movies for more than a decade than hopefully you already know the giddy joys of John Carpenter's Escape From New York.  Gosh, why they attempted to retread this script in LA is beyond me, but I'm ready for a proper sequel.

The Fog:  "Something did happen once."  That quote pretty much sums up my feelings for this Carpenter misstep.  I dig the opening campfire spook story, but the actual plot involving pirate ghosts in the mist is real dullsville.  Tom Atkins costars without his mustache and that's probably the first mistake in a string of them.  The other big one being the leading lady split between Adrienne Barbeaux's DJ Mama and Jaime Lee Curtis' mop-topped drifter.  The film never seems happy with its direction, jumping from scene to scene, and providing a kill when the filmmakers have no clue on what to do next.  Dean Cundey's cinematography is typically moody, and you can never hate on a John Carpenter score, but The Fog never finds its footing and none of the actors seem too bothered to be there.  Scream Factory goes all in with the blu ray, but all the special features in the world can't save this snooze.

Boxers & Saints by Gene Luen Yang:  Check out Matt's review for a little more depth, but I found this dueling graphic novel to be exceptional.  The first book follows China's Boxer Rebellion from the point of view of young Bao, a child who's fatherly hero worship is wrecked when Pop is horrendously beaten at the hands of "foreign devils."  Under the tutelage of Red Lantern Chu & Master Big Belly, Bao is possessed by the gods of China and leads a revolution against those that would enslave their land and culture.  What begins as a Kung Fu romp quickly turns to stomach churning genocide.  The second book, Saints, explores The Boxer Rebellion from the point of view of young Four-Girl.  A child cursed by her family by simply being alive.  Her quest for Devilhood and familial banishment eventually brings Four-Girl into the not-so-open arms of Christianity as well as the confused spirit of Joan of Arc.  Not the happiest of comic books, I was surprised to discover that everyone in our Graphic Novel Book Club loved the dueling stories...but not for the same reasons.  And as such, Boxers & Saints turned out to be one of our more successful discussions and I would recommend it to anyone looking beyond the capes & spandex of the four color form.

CBGB:  If you loved Randall Miller's Bottle Shock or Noble Son than you'll love this follow up.  The problem is that you didn't love either of those movies, you just thought they were o.k.  So is CBGB.  It's always fun to see Alan Rickman in a starring turn, and his Hilly Krystal is a fun bit of morose enthusiasm.  And I guess its cool to see Malin Akerman as Deborah Harry or Rupert Grint as Cheetah Chrome.  But if Punk music is more than just The Sex Pistols to you than you'll probably role your eyes a bunch during the film's run time.  Painfully slight, but not the worst way to kill 90 minutes.

--Brad

"It's Out There In The Ether..." - The Death of Superman Lives Teaser Trailer

Geeks love a good What If story.  What If Conan The Barbarian death wished the streets of Modern Day New York City?  What If Rick James became The Hulk instead of Bruce Banner?  What If Tim Burton had cast Nicolas Cage as Superman?  As most of you should know, that last one came very close to a reality in the late 1990s.  Kevin Smith was one of the many screenwriters on the project, and for the longest time his College Crowd Chit Chat was the only glimpse we had into the madness of Superman Lives.  Until now.  Thanks to the all mighty power of Kickstarter, director Jon Schnepp has finally assembled The Death of "Superman Lives."  The below teaser trailer promises an in-depth look at what that fabled film could have been, as well as philosophical debates with some of the Man of Steel's greatest living comic book contributors.  Grant Morrison, Mark Waid, Zachary Levi - uh...not sure why Chuck's involved, but cool!  Despite some newsreel footage of Cage, Schnepp has yet to land an interview with the mega actor, but if he manages to do so, than The Death of "Superman Lives" will skyrocket to the top of my most anticipated films.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (6/9/13-6/15/13)

I spent most of this week in my PJs, or at least cinematically wrapped in spandex.  Man of Steel marks Warner Brothers desperate attempt to capture that Marvel magic.  The company has been raking in Bat-Dollars, but they have yet to establish a superhero cinematic universe.  Stinkers like Green Lantern, Jonah Hex, and Catwoman portray a studio with its thumb stuck up its collective asses; a boardroom of nimrod headscratchers utterly baffled by the success of Disney's Avengers Assemblage.   Enter Zack Snyder, fresh off his disastrous snoozefest Sucker Punch, and just as equal to prove himself as the suits dropping him at the helm.  At its very least, Man of Steel throws a punch and delivers a level of action not yet seen cinematically from our boy blue.

Last year with the release of the blu ray box set, I revisited the Richard Donner Superman films, and I was saddened to discover that my nostalgia was not strong enough to battle the goof of Gene Hackman or the WTF of Supes's random, do-whats-needed Kryptonian powers.  Once I believed a man could fly, now I'm just simply charmed by the joyous energy of Christopher Reeve.  His back & forth performance nearly reaches the height of Frank Quietly's presto-changeo transformative design.  He achieves with a voice and a head tilt what no other actor ever bothered with before or since (oh, Brandon Routh...you tried...that's admirable...).  At the very least, what I pull from the Donner films is the loss of Christopher Reeve's talent.  He found stardom in a cape, nearly reached the stars agin with Deathtrap, but never could quite escape the shadow of the icon.  Reeve will always be Kal-El.  And Routh will always be his shadow.  Can Henry Cavil makes a career from the Man of Steel?  Maybe.  But I have my doubts.  He's certainly no Reeve, but is the world more willing to let actors shed their characters?  I'm still waiting for Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Evans (that's a lot of Chrises!) to grow beyond their franchises.

There was other non-Kryptonian fun to be had this week.  Year 2 of our Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club started with a tie-in Graphic Novel classic, All-Star Superman.  Some did not see the light, but I reevaluated my Top Ten Comics of All Time to include this masterful celebration of superheroics.  Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely deliver a revelation for the Man of Steel.  The Wife & I ventured into DC to see Marc Maron at the Sixth & I Synagogue.  A unique venue perfectly suited for the troubled rants of the WTF podcaster.  I struggled through the first season of The X-Files and witnessed the year's worst film On Demand...Black Rock....yeash.  But I also possibly saw my favorite film of the year......gulp, This Is The End. Really!?!?!? I enjoyed that film more than Iron Man 3 or Furious 6 or Before Midnight or Side Effects? Well, it's been a pretty bland year so far. A lot of decent stuff, but no real GREAT movies. This Is The End is certainly the film I had the most fun while watching. Super stupid. Happily offensive.  Joyously ignorant.  God Damn Funny.  Is it art?  Yeah.  Allow it.

Action Comics Volume 2 - Bulletproof:  This is not All-Star Superman.  And that's its greatest fault.  Not fair to judge a writer's current work to his absolute best, but All-Star's shadow is large and it cast a dark shade over everything found in Grant Morrison's New 52 work.  There are some solid moments to be found - "The Boy Who Stole Superman's Cape" and the elseworld adventures of President Superman - however, this second volume of Action Comics is just too disjointed to get on board.  And when halfway through the hardcover Grant Morrison disappears and we're tortured with mediocre backup stories.  Not cool DC.  Volume 1 was a meh.  Volume 2 is an easy pass.

Superman - The Movie:  How many times have I watched this film?  50?  100?  It certainly didn't define my childhood the way Star Wars or even Arnold Schwarzenegger did, but I can't remember a time when I was unaware of Christopher Reeve's Superman.  I remember my recorded VHS copy littered with filthy commercials eventually snapping under the strain of rewind.  I remember loving Superman's final subway assault on Lex Luthor's underground bunker.  I remember blushing at the bounce of Miss Teschmacher's cleavage.  Yowza.  As stated above, last year's blu ray rewatch tainted the childhood memory a bit.  I just can't handle Gene Hackman & Ned Beaty's goofy duo routine.  They feel false.  Superman falling for the lead box scheme is certainly lame.  And Margot Kidder's Lois Lane grates the nerves as cinema's whiniest damsel in distress...and her flygirl inner monologue?  Just gross.  A year later, revisiting the film with Man of Steel barreling down upon us, I still feel the pang of Hackman & Kidder.  They just don't work for me.  Christopher Reeve on the other hand?  The guy is just golden as Clark.  His midwest act is hilarious, and you realize what a perfect disguise it is for these big city Metropolis bozos - especially when Lois can't bare to pull her eyes from the typewriter.  And then he turns into the upright Superman.  He's all deep voice and barrel chest.  It's a great performance, and it's the reason the film has lasted in the memories of fanboys&girls. It's also the reason Superman continues in the public consciousness even when the comic book has sucked the life out of the character for decades.  Wal-Mart sells shirts cuz of this guy.

Superman II:  Ten years ago, Superman II would have landed in my Top Ten Comic Book Movies of all time list.  Either we've been blessed with far greater product, or I've finally pulled my head from the sand because I just hated it this go around.  Sure, I still love Terrance Stamp's beardy scenery chewing and his demand for kneeling.  And Christopher Reeve is utterly fantastic for all the reasons stated above.  But what is going on with this nutty powerloss story?  On one hand we've got Zod & his jumpsuit gang tearing apart middle America, and on the other we have the horrendously dull Niagara falls romance.  The American Way is burning to ashes and Superman is crying in a diner cuz a garbage eating truck driver just gave him a bloody nose.  The mid reel is painfully long and embarrassing to the character.  And the Fortress of Solitude powerloss machine is just as infuriating and laughable as Supes's time travel spin from the first film.  Also, what exactly are the Kryptonian powers?  Flight.  X-Ray Vision.  Super Strength.  Heat Ray.  Ok.  Got it.  Um....levitation...finger lasers....teleportation....S Logo Nets.....WHAT - THE - HELL?  The screenplay treats its audience as children.  And for the most part we ate it up.  But I'm done chowing down on Superman II.  I'm sure I'll continue to revisit the first film, but Donner's bastard boy is no longer for me.  Yes, even The Limey Zod can't keep me.

Marc Maron @ Sixth and I:  "Jews Are Special!"  On Tuesday night, The Wife & I ventured into Washington DC's Chinatown to see stand-up & podcaster extraordinaire Marc Maron read from his new essay collection, Attempting Normal.  I have never before seen anyone at the Sixth & I's historic synagogue, and it turns out to be a fantastic venue for something of this nature.  Sure, it's a little odd when Maron is ranting about how you don't need god to get sober when the Star of David hangs above his head, but the irony was not lost on him and he seemed to revel in it.  Maron shared the joys & horrors of the road, got personal about his father, and reminded the audience of the importance of Thanksgiving.  Marc Maron's talent rests in his ability to pull the crowd into the act.  This was not a simple dry reading like the dozens of Bestseller bouts I've experienced in the past.  He would read a little, ask a question to the crowd, offer a little commentary, and continue on with the essay.  Basically a Special Edition DVD experience of his book.  Very cool.

The X-Files - Season One:  This was probably the first television show that I ever obsessed over, but I had not revisited it since the final episode aired...well, with the exception of that horrid cinematic sequel  - yikes!  I quickly discovered that I couldn't binge watch The X-Files in the same manner as BSG, or Lost, or even Magnum P.I.  This show is wonky.  The chemistry between David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson is there from the pilot episode, but Chris Carter's antics are not nearly as thrilling as I once thought.  And there is a whole hell of a lot of filler in these 24 episodes.  I could not possibly care less about mysteries-of-the-week like "The Jersey Devil," "Ghost in the Machine," or "Fire."  So many of these concepts have been explored before in literature and film and often The X-Files can't even scratch the surface of what made the original material interesting.  That's not to say there's not good stuff here cuz there most certainly is - "Squeeze," "EVE," "Beyond the Sea," & "Darkness Falls" all offer up some pretty decent scares mixed with solid character work.  But I remember this show better.  And I'm hoping the next season shines brighter than this dull beginning.

Black Rock:  Wow.  Just wow.  I'm not sure what's worse - the utterly boring execution of a totally unoriginal screenplay, or the heinous scream acting of its three leads.  Whichever offense wins, the audience most certainly looses.  Kate Bosworth tricks her two bickering friends (Kate Aselton & Lake Bell) into a camping excursion on a remote island off the Maine coast.  There they encounter high school chums turned combat vets turned rapists.  Last House on the Left shenanigans occur from there - rocks in faces, sexual deviance at gunpoint, blah, blah, blah.  Black Rock is just the very worst of Final Girl exploitation, and just confused enough to believe itself empowering.  Wrong.

Superman Unbound:  Loosely based on Geoff Johns' Brainiac storyarc from Action Comics, this latest direct-to-dvder from DC Studios is simply fairly forgettable fluff.  The evil Kryptonian computer comes to Earth in an effort to dissect & bottle humanity; Superman gets all self-righteous before doing his whole smashing bit.  It's hard to believe that this studio can put out something as innovating & stunning as The Dark Knight Returns and The New Frontier, but still stoop to such a sophomoric snooze.  And I gotta wonder why Superman Beyond is sooooo free with the blood?  Brainiac is punching tentacles through skulls, gore splashing across the screen.  The story is too kiddy or simple to support the violence, and Lois Lane flipping Brainiac the bird is just silly.  This film feels very 90s; it belongs polybagged and wrapped in a chromium cover, read once, and put away for good.

Superman Unchained #1:  Speaking of the 90s....Scott Snyder & Jim Lee team up to revolutionize the Man of Steel just in time for his new movie.  Well, it's not terrible.  Someone or something is hurtling satellites towards Earth.  Supes goes up to space to smash.  But what does it all have to do with the nuclear destruction of Nagasaki?  Has the U.S. Government been secreting away it's own super human project for the past 75 years?  Well, of course it has!  I can't really hate on this issue, but it certainly failed to excite me.  Hopefully Snyder has some tricks up his sleeve because as nice as it is too gaze upon Jim Lee's art, that is certainly not enough to keep my interest.

Batman #21:  Scott Snyder & Greg Capullo's year long origin story starts here, and similar to Superman Uncahined, it's a wait and see situation.  I've said it before and I'm afraid I gotta say it again, Scott Snyder has pretty much lost me since the conclusion of The Court of Owls, and I'm afraid a Frank Miller Year One rehash is not enough to impassion my Bat-Nostalgia.  If Zero Year delves deeper into the mysterious dread of Gotham City's past than that might be a fun way to develop what was started with The Court, however, I'm worried this is just going to be another evil mastermind scheme.  The big bad revealed on the last pages here is not the shocker or the draw to boost my confidence in Snyder's dwindling run.  We will see...

This Is The End:  "Fuck Your House Franco!!!"  It sorta puzzles my noggin, but the pothead stoner comedy of Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg seriously pulverizes my funny bone.  They did it before with Pineapple Express & Your Highness, and they do it again with this happily hateful satirization of Hollywood.  During James Franco's batshit-out-of-control housewarming party Revelation strikes and the narcissistic celebrities are left behind to face the Apocalypse.  We're talking sinkholes, burning Hollywood Hills, Old Scratch & his seven heads.  It's all in the title.  Seth Rogen & Jay Baruchel struggle with friendship as James Franco protects his hipster art from Danny McBride's uncontrollable masturbation.  Craig Robinson stands guard with his Teddy Bear flashlight Terrance Peterson, but Jonah Hill uses faith as a weapon only to pay the ultimate price - Rosemary's Baby style!  This Is The End is a gross, painful, stupid, and gleefully offensive religious assault.  Simply the most fun I've had at the movies this year.

All-Star Superman:  "You have given them an ideal to aspire to, embodied their highest aspirations.  They will race, and stumble, and fall and crawl and curse...and finally...they will join you in the sun, Kal-El."  Spoken by his father Jor-El, the above passage comes late in the graphic novel, but gets right to the heart of the character in a way that no other writer has ever come close to scratching.  As Matt stated in his review, Superman is not better than us, but he represents the potential of the human race.  He may have had good Kryptonion breeding, but it's his midwestern Apple Pie youth that shapes him into the concrete slab of morality we all admire.  With All-Star Superman, Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely plunge the depths of the 75 year old character and reach a final mission statement by exploring the end of Superman.  Along the way they celebrate the crazy of classic comics (Lois Lane - Super Woman! Atlas & Samson vs the Ultra Sphinx!  Doomsday Jimmy!  Zibarro the Bizarro Poet!) that will either alienate new readers or draw them in to the massive but joyful decades of continuity.  I've read All-Star Superman a half dozen time now, and it's safe to say that it ranks at the very top of my All Time Favorite Comics.  It is a classic, and the ultimate Superman experience.

Superman Returns:  "I'm always around."  I think it's pretty obvious that Bryan Singer's relaunch is too in love with Richard Donner's original film.  As fun as it is to hear John Williams's score or Marlon Brando's Jor-El, Superman Returns can never break free from the memory of a better movie.  And yes, Donner's Superman is far superior to this retread.  Obviously, a big problem is that Supes never throws a punch.  He lifts some stuff.  He bounces some bullets off his chest.  He flies real fast.  But that's about it.  Mostly he spends the film being super oogie creepy as he peeps in on Lois Lane & family.  Brandon Routh sure cuts a strong Christopher Reeve profile, but he's given very little to perform.  Kevin Spacey channels too much of the Hackman's Luthor, hamming his way through yet another real estate scheme. There really is only one moment to cherish, and that's Eve Marie Saint helplessly attempting to be near her son Clark as he lies poisoned in a hospital bed.  That's the closest this film comes to plucking a heartstring.

All Star Superman:  "It's time to get serious about killing Superman."  Stripping away a lot of the crazy side stories, and struggling to maintain the philosophy of Grant Morrison's original novel, the All-Star Superman animated film succeeds more often than if flounders.  Lex Luthor boobytraps a mission to explore the sun, and successful poisons Superman's cellular structure.  Supes has one year to live, and he must attempt to leave the planet Earth in strong standing as well as say goodbye to the one woman he's ever loved.  There is still plenty of heart and morality in the film, but there's no fooling that this is first and foremost an action cartoon.  The Parasite prison breakout is certainly the hightlight, but I'm also stunned at how well they were able to pull off the climactic world eater battle.  Not quite the genius of the comic book, but All-Star Superman still feels like the most solid adaptation of the character.

Watchmen:  I am an Alan Moore fan.  I read comics, so I have to be.  However, I've never been than much of a Watchmen freak.  Frankly, I'll take From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Tom Strong, Promethea, and Swamp Thing any day over Watchmen.  Blashpemy you say...oh well.  That is until I saw Zack Snyder's film.  Yes, I did not appreciate the story until I saw it on the big screen.  There is a coldness to the performances as well as Snyder's fetishizing camera, but it all pretty much fits the tone of Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons' post-modern sendup.  Jackie Earl Haley's Rorschach is probably the easiest performance to love, his guttural "Hurms" of contempt almost as pleasurable as the dead delivery in which he dispatches justice.  With each new Silver Screen Superhero we see, Watchmen becomes more and more relevant.  Double Bill this with Joss Whedon's The Avengers and you've gotta a helluva night.  It's still a hate letter directed at Thatcher/Reagan politics, but it's nice (or utterly depressing) to see that these issues are still ripe for ribbing to this day.  And I don't miss the Squid.  Fanboys go on raving, but Snyder's ending feels sound with the setting he erected.  After Watchmen, Snyder could have made ten more Sucker Punches, and I would have been perfectly happy with his career.

Superman vs. The Elite:  This short film attempts to address the godhood of Superman, and the consequence of his heroics.  A punk rock super being known as Manchester Black is tired of giving bad guys second chances.  How many times can Lex Luthor break out of jail and kill dozens of people before Superman drops him in a volcano.  Black is disgusted by Kal-El's snooty ethics, and with the aide of his mutant goonsquad, he's gonna right Big Blue's wrongs.  There is an interesting idea here, and I would be curious to read the source material.  However, the film itself is far too banal.  The animation boring.  The voice work tepid.  About the only aspect of this movie that I liked was the opening credits seen below.  Silly punk rock.

Man of Steel:  "This Man Is Not Our Enemy."  There is a lot to enjoy about this Christopher Nolan Production of a Zack Snyder Film.  The opening twenty minutes are a sci-fi feast of Krypton.  This is not the Ice Castle set of the Donner film or the CG mystery of television's Smallville.  David Goyer's script establishes an alien landscape with its own government, status structure, and wildlife.  Russell Crowe's Jor-El is a desperate scientist beating upon the arrogant certitude of his people.  The Birth of Kal-El is as important to the Krypton people as it will most obviously be for the citizens of Earth.  These are ideas explored previously in the comics, but will most likely come as huge surprises for modern movie going audiences.   Jor-El's final moments with his wife & son before the rocket launches into space are heartthumping, and I was moved to tears before the prologue could even finish.

Screenwriter Goyer pretty much mimics the structure he used so well in Batman Begins, hopping from Clark Kent's present day hoboing to his childhood farmland memories.  If it ain't broke don't fix it, and I appreciated the loose storytelling as opposed to the A to B origin building.  However, my problems start to arise with The Kents.  Kevin Costner's Pa is another strong father figure and he mirrors well with Crowe's space daddy, but I found his fear - or distrust - of man to be unsettling.  Pa Kent is The American Way.  His staunch ethics and middle American nature should instill a faith in humanity not dread.  And his inevitable end handled in the film robs Clark of the lesson of human frailty.  It's a Marvel Comics moment, an Uncle Ben, and not the big universe idea of DC Comics.

Whereas the last cinematic adventure was afraid to throw a punch, Man of Steel is almost all action.  From the moment Michael Shannon's Zod arrives on Earth, Superman is caught in one fiery explosion or another.  Smallville, IHOP, and Metropolis have never seen so much devastation...in fact, has an American city ever been as punished as much as Metropolis is here in Man of Steel's final moments?  A lot has been made of the destruction, but honestly, other than it droning on for a bit too long, I really enjoyed seeing two super beings bash the living hell out of one another.  If two creatures of this godlike strength ever came into contact with each other, our cities would certainly crumble.  It's a politically correct post-9/11 world, but at the end of the day, this is just a movie and Comic Book flicks demand Comic Book Destruction. But maybe Superman, you could hold off your Lois Lane smooches until you step out of the crater made from human ash.

Warner Brothers & Zach Snyder are certainly in love with Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy.  The director apes a lot of that film's style and goes a little too crazy with the handheld photography.  But if you pop a couple of dramamine, your body will eventually adjust to the woozy movement, and you might even find yourself enjoying the digital theatrics of Superman's punch-ups.  It's long, and there are quibbles to be had for folks who obsess over spandex, but I'll allow Man of Steel the title of best live-action Superman film (All-Star, yer still tops).

300:  "Tell Xerxes that he faces free men here!"  I was so taken aback by Zack Snyder's Paul Greengrass turnaround in Man of Steel that I wanted to return to the film that made him the mockery of hipster haters everywhere.  I so love Frank Miller's 300.  It's jingoistic, absurdly exploitative, historically embarrassing, and utterly entertaining.  And Snyder shoots it warts and all.  Gerard Butler is the proud King Leonidas, ruler of the Spartan people, defier of false gods, and champion messenger punter.  Everyone involved refuses to bat an eye.  300 succeeds because it's earnest almost up to the point of hilarity, and it's one of the few films to use cgi as an artistic choice rather than an escape route.

JAWS 3D:  "You're talking about some damn shark mother?!?!"  Steven Speilberg's JAWS is one of my all time favorite films (number 5 to be precise), and it's the blockbuster turning point that paved the way for Transformers & Battleships.  But before we could get to the current summer climate, we all had to suffer through the bastardization known as the Jaws sequels.  Seriously, is there a worst film franchise out there?  I dare you to pit The Texas Chainsaw Massacres against Jaws - The Revenge or this beautifully wretched 3D excursion.  Of course, that being said, I had an absolute blast at The Alamo Draft House last week.  Chomping down on Fish & Chips while basking in the Sea World glory of the Spanish Galleon was a real hoot.  Dennis Quaid is a rather impotent leading man struggling to steal the frame from a pair of dolphins (don't worry, he does better in Dreamscape & Inner Space), and Louis Gossett Jr holds a cut like his life depends on it...which it most certainly does!  The very notion that this is the fishy runoff of the perfect popcorn confection that launched America's most beloved filmmaker is completely baffling.

Flex Mentallo - Man of Muscle Mystery:  "Acid, all day, every day...."  I think to fully appreciate this graphic novel you need to also read Grant Morrison's comic book history lesson, Supergods.  I certainly didn't understand this drug fueled nightmare of funny pages insanity until I experienced Morrison's peyote awakening in the outskirts of Nepal.  Flex Mentallo is a fictionalized icon of the four color form who sometimes breaks into our reality when his suicidal creator slips into coma rants.  Yeah, I don't know what that means either.  Flex is our "Hero of the Beach," an Atlas strongman investigating the reappearance of an old chum simply known as The Fact.  Along the way he senses the hand of his creator, discovers the pleasures of spandex sex bars, and contemplates complex issues of gender & sexuality after being exposed to Pink Mentallium...Yeah, this ain't your daddy's comics.

Your Highness:  Danny McBride's pothead appreciation for shitty 80s fantasy films a la Barbarian Queen, The Warrior & The Sorceress, Death Stalker, and Death Stalker 2.  And I love it.  Which seems to be the minority opinion, but all you haters out there obviously don't understand the subtleties of horrendous ADR ("Jumping!") or "Punch & Twist" puppets.  James Franco has never been more dense or adorable as McBride's much beloved brother Prince Fabious, and I'll take this dimwitted nimrod any day over Blockbuster paychecks like Oz The Great & Powerful or Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  Not sure what Natalie Portman is doing in this movie, but she does add to the overall absurdity to the film, and her theatrical delivery of potty mouth insults makes schoolboys giggle.  And let's not forget the confidence of a good butt shot, putting many an ass in seat.  Like their other collaborations, Your Highness is joyfully dumb and gleefully violent.  But it's a special brand of base fanboy humor that I certainly endorse.  So, grab your Blade of Unicorn & swing for the Minotaur's johnson!

Shoot First, Die Later:  Fernando De Leo enjoys the pain and absurdity of violence.  He's Italian.  They know how to do death.  Shoot First, Die Later is the story of good cop turned vigilante after the mob attempts to hook him into their payrole.  That old tune.  It succeeds in its perverse enjoyment of violence, and manages to up the ante with each gonzo set piece.  None of these actors are taking home the SAG award, but Luc Merenda has mastered the stern face and when he sets his sights on his gangster prey you believe his passion for strangleholds.  This film is getting a lot of love on the internet these days, but I don't think it's as punishing or as delightful as De Leo's Live Like A Cop, Die Like A Man, which was released earlier last year.

--Brad