Brad's Week in Dork! (3/3/13-3/9/13)

The March to Summer has begun.  Can't you taste the buttered blockbuster blitzkrieg?  With the Friday release of Sam Raimi's CG Candyland, the 2013 spectacle movie is upon us and I'm rather appalled by these early offerings.  Don't get me wrong.  I can't wait for Summer.  Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, Pacific Rim.  These are popcorn films I'm seriously craving.  But first we have to wade through the wannabes like Oz and Jack The Giant Slayer?  No.  It's bad enough I had to suffer through the Icon disappointments of The Last Stand, Bullet To The Head, & A Good Day To Die Hard.  Not to mention the castoff dreck like Texas Chainsaw 3D & Gangster Squad.  I get it.  We need time to digest the year end Best Of films.  Sure.  January.  Suck it up Hollywood.  But once February rolls around and March hits, I want to be seeing good quality filmmaking.  Or at least one or two solid entries.  Now, I know what you're saying (and what Matt is happy to echo), "Brad, you don't have to suffer through all this subpar cinema."  Well, yer right.  I don't have to.  But I love to anyway.  The movie house is my church.  I want to be nowhere else.  And now that I'm the happy owner of a Movie Pass, I've got my ankles in it and I'm chowing down on the New Year muck.

So....saw four flicks theatrically this week.  That's the most I've done since the New Year began.  Dead Man Down, Jack The Giant Slayer, and Oz all disappointed.  None quite terrible, but sometimes the middle-of-the-road pictures are the most painful.  The happy news is that the first film I saw on the big screen this week also turned out to be my favorite film of 2013 so far.  It didn't quite hit me like The Grey did early in 2012, but it was thrilling enough and when facing Lovecraftian blackness, a sliver of light can feel like the sun.  Steven Soderbergh might be claiming retirement from the movie making business, but I sure hope he realizes the error of his ways sooner rather than later.  His last three films (Magic Mike, Contagion, & Haywire) were heaps of funky HD joy and his latest, Side Effects, is even better.  It's slick, twisty, and well acted.  Plus, another cool score from Thomas Newman.

So if 2013 isn't going to bother giving us the proper fresh entertainment we all deserve on the big screen than I guess we gotta look to the small.  Took the plunge into the Neflix timesuck known as House of Cards, whipped through the second season of HBO's Game of Thrones, and rediscovered some serious enthusiasm for a John Carpenter classic.  Managed a few comics, but outside forces kept getting in the way of a proper sit down with the funny books.  I have a feeling that the four color form is going to rule next week - so many good books to get through and I haven't even started this month book group selection yet.

House of Cards:  Not sure this show is right for me.  Politicians behaving like assholes and committing diabolical acts of scumbaggery?  What's so new about that?  Granted, Kevin Spacey is devilishly fantastic as Congressman Underwood, especially when he's plotting to camera and Michael Kelly as his right hand goon is properly menacing.  However, I really hate the female characters.  Kate Mara's descent into journalistic prostitution was wasn't just disappointing it was downright predictable and boring.  Robin Wright Penn's narrative collapse is little more than hateful window dressing and Constance Zimmer's bitchy coworker turned bitchy partner in crime is just icing on this gender garbage dump.  I enjoy watching villainous protagonists as much as the next person, but I'm not seeing anything new or original in House of Cards.  Still, look at Spacey's glare to camera.  There is a little joy in his monologuing.

Thunderbolts #5:  Ok.  First off.  I really hate that cover above.  What the hell is The Leader doing?  Is he about to 8 Mile his way outta the Thunderbolts posse?  It just looks ridiculous.  That being said, I'm still loving the silly heck outta this book.  Daniel Way is having a lot of fun with these morally corrupt loners.  Sure, I don't really buy how Red Hulk got them all together in the first place but now that they're here and we've got The Punisher & Elektra making out in the blood splattered woods of Kata Jaya - I am happy.  And I'm seriously loving the Preacher stares Steve Dillon is putting on Frank Castle's face.  Some of you out there in Internetland don't seem to appreciate him on this book, but I'll be sad to see him go after this first arc.  The man can put hate on a brow like nobody else in this business.  I hope he finds more weird work over at Marvel.

Uncanny Avengers #4:  A bit better than last issue.  Rick Remender's caption writing still needs some readjusting, but I dig the plotting.  Opening the issue on the infamous Summers plane crash gives an extra bit of oomph to Havoc as Avengers leader, and the Days of Future Past-like flash forwards are perfectly comic booky.  The Red Skull logos on the Sentinels' faces brought a great grin to this long time comic book fanboy.  And the final 90s throwback splash page?  Damn.  That's goofy.  Cool.  And I want it on a poster.  This issue also marks the end of John Cassaday's run.  It's a real shame.  I was hoping for a massive hardcover volume of his work here, but now I'm going to have to settle for a puny four issues.  The loss of him on art takes a good chunk of the books epicness, and I'm curious to see if replacement killer Daniel Acuna can deliver the goods.  Uncanny Avengers started out as the flagship book of Marvel Now and has slowly become little more than a blip on the landscape.

The Walking Dead - Season 3 "Clear":  From the beginning, this show has suffered from serious acts of narrative decompression.  Padding.  We're nearly at the end of the third season.  Rick's crew should be gearing up, if not already embroiled, in a full on WAR with The Governor and the rest of Woodbury's henchman.  Instead the audience is given yet another distraction from the overall story.  Granted, this was a pretty good distraction.  Rick, Carl, & Michone return home in search of weapons.  There they encounter Morgan, whom we haven't seen since the first episode of the first season.  His son is dead.  He's lost his mind.  He's a mirror for Rick's possible future.  The man is batshit crazy.  You know, like Rick is on occasion.  He craves death.  Of course, Rick & his moral high ground can't grant him his death wish.  Meanwhile, Michone & Carl go hunting for memories of a world before walkers.  It's solid stuff.  Something I might have enjoyed 3 or 4 episodes into the season and not 12.  Let's get on with The Governor dammit!  Time to kill Andrea already!  But I'm tired of bitching & moaning about The Walking Dead.  I'm going to keep on watching (at least until the third season is finished), but I'm no longer going to unleash my complaints on this blog.  I'm sick of it.  I sound like an asshole when writing about this show.  It just frustrates me too damn much.  So no more episode reviews.  The next time I write about this show it will be a Season 3 recap, and hopefully I loved it.

They Live:  You know the drill - Rowdy Roddy Piper has come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum.  By this point in my life, I must have seen this flick thirty times.  The first time I watched it, I liked it okay - nowhere near as good as The Thing or Big Trouble in Little China, but infinitely superior to later Carpenter flicks like Ghosts of Mars and Vampires. Over the years it's become a background kinda movie. As I do dishes, laundry, or clean the apartment. And that's how I started my week. They Live in the background. But once Piper got the glasses and the bubble gum chewing started, and the epic Keith David bum fight erupted, They Live just couldn't continue in the background - it had my full attention. It's a lark. A goof. But it has painful truth too. And it will probably hold truth forever - these problems are not going away. Get your own pair of sunglasses and choose kicking ass over chewing bubblegum.

The Sweeney:  "We're The Sweeney shit, and you've been knicked." The film has a little bit of the original show's cockney charm, but as much as I love Ray Winstone (especially, savage, fat, beastly Ray Winstone), this theatrical remake lacks any kind of originality and bears closer resemblance to Training Day than its source material.  I want to see The Sweeney cracking the heads of hoods and not fending their freedom from Internal Affairs. I want doors bashed down. Bare knuckle brawls.  And sweet 70s suits. This is just another cop program in a field of cop programs.  Basically, a waste.

Justified - Season 4 "The Hatchet Tour":  Possibly the best episode of the season so far.  Raylan finagles his way into the car transporting Hunter to the pen.  After a little detour to Wynn Duffy's trailer and a team-up with Sheriff Shelby, the three find themselves speeding to the residence of Lee Paxton where Patton Oswalt's Deputy Bob commences to siege the house with the contents of his go-bag and a hefty machine gun.  Plenty of comedy peppers an episode that is otherwise steeped in painful family history.  With his father now dead, a couple of old timers offer the son a new light on Papa Arlo's past acts of violence.  Wars aren't necessarily ignited over dogshit.  But will Raylan ever be able to see Arlo as anything other than a criminal?  Doubtful.  And oh yeah, the mystery of Drew Thompson is revealed!  So happy to see it not held back until the final episode.  Now this season is going to barrel towards its climax, and it might not be as bloody as last season's "Slaughterhouse" but I bet you it's going to be ten times more soul crushing.

Side Effects:  Best not talk too much about this one. It's one of those flicks where the less you know the better. The film opens on streaks of blood smeared across an apartment floor, red foot tracks passing near beautifully wrapped presents - up front you know it's not going to end well. Now what leads these characters to this bloody mess is a Hitchcockian thriller filtered through a Law & Order procedural. Rooney Mara will get all the press from this flick, and she is excellent as the mentally cracked bride, but I was ecstatic to see Jude Law blasting his way through his character's downfall. Law might have drifted out of favor post-Sky Captain, but he's an actor worthy of an epic return to the big screen. And Stephen Soderbergh need not retire.  As stated earlier, his last round of entertainments have been exceptionally small bits of character work, and I dig his digital eye.  The man just shoots classy.

Hellboy in Hell #4:  Mike Mignola's first mini-arc in this epic ongoing series comes to a close and like the previous three issues, it is exceptional.  So glad to type those words.  After the insane revelations of The Storm & The Fury, I had some serious doubts as to whether Mignola had anything left in his trick bag.  Plus, sending Hellboy to Hell felt a little gimicky.  Curse my eyes for ever having any doubts.  Hellboy is still reeling after his encounter with his brothers and his possible attack on Lucifer, but most of this issue revolves around ex-Witchfinder, Sir Edward Grey explaining big red's current role in the royal hierarchy.  Yes, Mike Mignola found a way to complete the Beast of the Apocalypse narrative.  The Right Hand of Doom melancholy has been with this comic since the beginning; the idea that it could all be over seems somewhat preposterous.  And I'm pretty darn sure someone is going to come looking for Hellboy's hand sooner or later.  Sir Grey pretty much alludes to such, so yeah, this really isn't a conclusion to The Beast as much as it is a pause in programming.  And if all that wonderful bizarro denouement wasn't enough, Hellboy in Hell #4 also offers some pretty badass revelations involving the Witchfinder.  Here we see Edward Grey's final moments on Earth and his passage into the underworld.  Damn cool.  I say this all the time, but if you are not reading Hellboy than what the hell is wrong with you?

Game of Thrones Season 2:  So I didn't love this season as much as the first.  Why?  Well, no Sean Bean.  Obviously, the House of Stark is just not going to be as interesting with these kids spread out all over the five kingdoms.  I'm not saying their stories suck - they're just not as complicated as Papa Stark's struggling foothold on the North.  His son Rob is barely around in this season.  He's got some boring dopey Florence Nightingale love story for his arc.  The legless kid is mostly scrambling in the dark.  Sansa Stark definitely has the most tortured plot with her horrifying engagement to the epically evil King Joffery (and seriously, Jack Gleeson is an amazing monster - he just has to say three words and I want to cave his skull in).  I'm guessing Arya Stark is eventually going to transform into the show's badass, but she's mostly wandering this season.  And don't even get me started on bastard John Snow, he's a drab bore.  Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen, is off in the desert getting chapped for the majority of the drama.  She deserves better.  So, Season 2 really lives & dies with Peter Dinklage.  As the hand of the king, Tyrion Lannister excels in this backstabbing political thunderdome, but there is no way it can last.  Rise, Fall, sword to the face.  I also appreciated the little bit of magic we got this season.  This is a Fantasy after all.  Dragons.  Witchcraft.  White Walkers.  Smoke monsters.  More of that in Season 3 please.

Age of Ultron #1:  2013's first big Marvel event is here.  Brian Michael Bendis has bee teasing Ultron's great triumph for years, and now it's finally a chromium foiled reality.  And I don't know what the hell is going on.  The first issue drops you into another crazy ass post-apocalyptic world - this one involving Ultron's sweeping takeover of planet Earth.  The heroes have fallen.  Of course, not all of them.  The first issue sees Hawkeye popping arrows into the throats and sockets of Hammerhead goons, crashing into a Super Villain safe house and rescuing a tortured Spider-Man.  But is this the Peter Parker Spidey, or the Superior Doc Ock Spidey?  Since Bryan Hitch had to start drawing this book eons ago, who the hell knows, but that question just reminds me how much I detest Dan Slott's current run on Spider-Man.  It's too early to tell if this book is going to kick ass or disappoint (like nearly every Big Event of the last five years), but I can certainly tell you that Hitch's art is amazing and I could look at his devastation splash pages all day long.  And I love Ultron.  He's a mad doctor robot bent on world domination.  What's not to love?  So I'm in for this badboy.  Till the artist switch halfway through anyway.

Jack The Giant Slayer:  Can't say I hated it. Can't say I liked it. This is just one of those films that exists. Maybe some five year old will see this one day and loose their tiny excitable mind, but I doubt any kid past the age of reason will give two shits about Bryan Singer's remake. And it got me thinking. Other than The Usual Suspects, has Singer ever directed a film that truly engages my emotions? There are moments in Superman Returns that bring a lump in my throat. His two X-Men films have a glimmer of pure comic book joy. And I kinda dig Tom Cruise's historic snooze, Valkyrie but it's rather dull in its a-b-c narrative. I think Singer is nothing more than a journeyman - not the type of artist to illicit passions. But whatever his intentions were for Jack The Giant Slayer the resulting movie is a lumbering mass of misguided adventure. Nicholas Holt is struggles as its hero. Ewan McGregor is cashing a paycheck. Ian McShane pops up as a reminder of the Deadwood myth. If there ever was an audience for this movie it was decades ago, and if there was a way to harken back to those Ray Harryhausen glory days, this bloated but feeble fairy tale most certainly is not it.

Dead Man Down:  I kinda love the Hitchcock set-up. Noomi Rapace witnesses neighbor Colin Farrell choking the life outta an angry bald man. She records the murder. Blackmails him into committing another murder. Strangers on a Train from the hateful morality behind the original Girl With A Dragon Tattoo.  Unfortunately, Dead Man Down is all bark no bite. Nearly every moment in which the threat of violence occurs is quickly stalled by lamebrain character interference.  Noomi's scarred beautician is more mope than femme fatale, and Colin Farrell's vengeance seeker never quite reaches the proper rage levels, and his final assault on Terrance Howard is missing the sick killing glee the plot deserves. Dead Man Down should be a rough watch, but in actuality it's a tame puppy. 

Oz - The Great & Powerful:  Sam Raimi. Twenty years ago, the man could do no wrong in my eyes. Evil Dead. Evil Dead 2. Army of Darkness. Darkman. Those four films have earned him permanent residence in my heart. But since then, it's all peaks and valleys; his Hollywood grab films have never quite connected with me. The Quick & The Dead. A Simple Plan. The Gift. Drag Me To Hell. Those films have their moments. But the Spider-Man trilogy. That's a cartoon world I have little enthusiasm for anymore. His ram-o-cam theatrics seem hamfisted in the blockbuster, and even if its cute to see POV fenceposts and deadite witches barreling through this Disney behemoth, the man just doesn't seem like the right fit for these cinematic gobstoppers. And James Franco...your wrinkly smiles are emotionless and distracting. Where is your wonder. You're in OZ dammit. I want awe from you. Instead, Franco delivers vacant pothead gawks. Michelle Williams at least seems to be at home in the flashback performance, and Rachel Weisz knows how to ham. But at the end of the day, Oz The Great and Powerful is a pre-summer dud.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (2/24/13-3/2/13)

A light week.  Guess I was just taking it easy on the dorkdom front.  My enthusiasm for this year's Oscars was fairly extreme though - for the first time ever I managed to watch nearly every nomination including all of the major awards and even the short films.  Devouring that much content will get you excited for any award ceremony, even one that's as awkward and misguided as The Academy Awards.  At the very least I gotta appreciate Seth Macfarlane's obvious manhandling of the ceremony, hamfisting my favorite Federation Captain into the opening act.  Seeing Shatner floating above the stage was surreal and enjoyable, despite some lame brain comedy that didn't just fall flat, it sank like a (kidney) stone.

The big comic this week was Batman Incorporated #8.  The Big Shock of the issue was ruined for us weeks ago thanks to an annoying Tweeter, but DC Comics also ran the story in USA Today days before the release so it's hard to get upset at some anonymous internet troll when The New 52 can't keep their gobs shut either.  I get it, if you have the opportunity to promote an event in a major newspaper yer gonna do it, but does anyone in America not already reading funny books know or care about Damien Wayne?  And will that USA Today article send anyone running into the comic shops?  Not bloody likely.  But whatever, Grant Morrison is still killing it with his Bat-run and I'm dying to see how he wraps up this epic.

The 85th Annual Academy Awards:  Well, evaluating my predictions last week, I missed 6.  Argo took home the big prize; as did Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence, & Anne Hathaway.  No big shocks there.  I was pleased to see Christophe Waltz win Best Supporting Actor - I guess that man should never stray too far from QT.  And speaking of ego incarnate, Tarantino shockingly took home the Best Original Screenplay Oscar and despite some chatter about homage vs originality, it's hard to believe that this is his first gold statue since his writing win for Pulp Fiction.  I was too cute in my thinking as far as the Best Director category was concerned.  Spielberg & Ang Lee did not split the vote for Russell, and Ang got his accolades for Life of Pi.  Not sure I can really hate on that, he did a fine enough job on that film.  My problems with Life of Pi stem from the content of the narrative not so much the filmmaking.  As far as the show itself goes, it was the usual mess of misfires and chintzy class.  I can't say that I full-on hated Seth Macfarlane as host (especially when you consider James Franco's cokehead turn of yesteryear), but I'm a little tired of the standup routine.  I wanted more of his soft shoe and less of his dull potty humor.  At the very least he did get Tommy Lee Jones to chuckle.  Kudos.  Best bits included dancing - Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Daniel Radcliffe, Charlize Theron & Channing Tatum.  I definitely want more film celebration and less mockery.  These Hollywood egos make such easy targets anyway, and it would be nice if The Academy Awards actually had respect for their art.  The tribute to Bond was nice and all, but not much more than a glorified DVD extra.

The Walking Dead Season 3 - "Aint No Judas":  Andrea comes crawling back to the prison, and Rick & Company want nothing to do with her.  Can't say I blame them, I was waiting the whole episode for Merle to pig stick her.  Of all the tragic interpretations from comic to screen, Andrea is easily the most brutally butchered in the writer's room.  As if Dale wasn't self righteous enough, Andrea takes up his mantel, screaming her all-knowing wisdom at her former gang of sadsacks.  As the show built to its final moments I was almost certain The Governor was going to slit her throat - no real SPOILERS here, but obviously this show is still concerned with stretching the season than deliver shock & awe.  Nothing important happened here.  You could probably skip this ep altogether and not even notice.  The sick thing is though, now that my respect for this show has pretty much vanished, I'm starting to really enjoy the presence of Michael Rooker.  He's the ham of the series, and this drab narrative certainly could seriously use some ham.

Batman Incorporated #8:  I'd warn you of spoilers, but DC pretty much gives it to ya on that cover above.  One of the most notable aspects to Grant Morrison's run on Batman has been the acceptance of Damian Wayne into the hearts of DC fanboys everywhere.  Seven years ago, Morrison reached back into the 1980s and yanked the forgotten child of Talia Al Ghul & Bruce Wayne out of an Elseworld's one-shot (Son of the Demon) and plopped him into continuity.  And for that "Batman & Son" storyarc we got a lot of bitching & moaning from the internet community.  However, through much hard work and creative labor, Morrison proved the new arrogant Robin to be not only the real deal Son of The Batman, but a sidekick worthy of both Wayne & original Boy Wonder Dick Grayson. Damian Wayne is what makes Grant Morrison my favorite Bat-Writer.  He does not dismiss the whacky, crazy, or stupid of comics.  He loves it all.  He uses it all.  Bat-mite.  Knight & Squire.  Zur-En-Arrh.  Bastard children.  They all exist in his universe.  He makes the square bricks fit into the triangular holes like the meanest block smashing infant.  And his crazy multicolored tapestry is set ablaze with this single issue...out of the ashes will hopefully arise his masterpiece.  Now we all know that Dead Ain't Dead in comic books.  Damian Wayne will return - just look to your left, that's the other once-dead Robin, Jason Todd waving at you.  But for Morrison, Damian is dead.  Don't expect this writer to script another animal-loving sentiment from him again.  And for my money, Batman Inc #8 has more punch and anger than anything Scott Snyder was trying to do with his Death of the Family arc found in the flagship sister title.  This has been a long time coming and I cannot wait to see Batman face-to-face with the mother & killer of his son.  It's gonna be ugly.

Justified Season 4 - "Outlaw":  Possibly my favorite episode of the season so far.  Raylan accidentally sets into motion events that land papa Arlo into the infirmary.  There father & son exchange more nasty familial hate, and the origin of Raylan's rage is obviously buried deep within their contempt-filled stares.  Meanwhile, across town, Boyd pits the Detroit Mafia against the rich bastards controlling Harlan and despite a close call, the quickdraw Raylan Givens puts Boyd on top of the backwoods Kentucky Empire.  Of course, Cousin Johnny has other plans.  Have we now reached a point where Ralyan & Boyd will ride this season out together?  It definitely feels like we're at the end even if the whole Drew Thompson mystery seems less important every day.

Nemo - Heart of Ice:  Taking place between Books 1 & 2 of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century, this one-shot is a much needed return to the spirit of classic Adventure Comics.  As much as I loved the reference-blitzing insanity of Century, it's nice to be reminded that Alan Moore doesn't treat everyone of his creations as an acid laced internal plunge into his Heart of Darkness.  This book picks up right as Captain Nemo's daughter (Pirate Jenny) robs the American tycoon, Charles Foster Kane of some treasure that Allan Quartermain would no doubt find appealing.  Nemo's spawn escapes to Antarctica, where following her fathers rambling journals, discovers The Mounts of Madness.  Still, as much fun as you can have spotting Lovecraft and Tom Swift, Heart of Ice is singularly enjoyable as an Adventure Comic.  It's impossible for you (or at least me) to grasp all the literary links, but it's less important here than the more recent LXG outings.  Alan Moore & Kevin O'Neal are simply concocting a fun read - the winks are cute, but not necessary.

Gattaca:  Matt's been bothering me for a long time (possibly our entire existence together) to watch this flick.  It's something that's obviously near and dear to his heart.  That much anticipation can sometimes make it difficult to enjoy and I tend to drag ass when people shove dvds in my hand.  I know that's why he's never seen Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid - a film I generally pester him about.  This week he finally forced me in front of the television to watch his blu ray copy.  And it's a solid flick.  I'm not the biggest Ethan Hawke fan, but I appreciate how he inhabits a good boy 1950s attitude.  In fact, I like the general warmth that his character has towards space travel and adventures in science.  Not sure I totally agree with Matt in regards of the film's final answer to the question of Frankensteinian anti-science storytelling, and the final moments for Jude Law felt anti-climactic as well as rushed.  And yeah, I really don't like the cold blooded Uma Thurman.  She's meant to be a sterile character but she felt generally lifeless.

The Imposter:  A fascinating and mentally frustrating documentary.  There were points in the narrative that had me shouting at the screen "WHAT!?!?" or "YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING!"  Similar to my response to the heinous actions discovered in The Invisible War, this documentary boggled my mind as far as what people were willing to do as well as willing to accept as a means to Keep On Trucking.  A 13 year old boy goes missing in San Antonio, Texas.  Three years later, a 24 year old Frenchman claiming to be that child is accepted by both the family and the US Government.  Told talking head style from the mouths of The Imposter, the G-Men, and the family members; the mystery never quite unravels but its path is both shocking and deeply sad.  I really hope that the documentarians return to this subject further down the line, I want to know more - I need to know more.

FF #4:  Matt Fraction has delivered one of the few standouts from the Marvel Now relaunch.  Funny, considering how ordinary his sister book, The Fantastic Four, feels in comparison with this oddball beauty.  And this latest issue is an even better Valentine than last month's cute, but gloomy Sue & Reed tale.  The Moloids are madly in love with She-Hulk - an impossible, aching teacherly crush.  When they learn of her prospective date, The Moloids must act drastically.  They partner with Bentley-23, attempt to raise monsters out of oceans, and rape the mind of hapless waiters.  But all their efforts hopelessly bring She-Hulk closer into the arms of her lover.  Mike Allred continues to kill it on art, and I wanted to instagram nearly every panel of this book.  Final words: just darling.

The Rocketeer - Hollywood Horror #1:  I wanted to love this book.  Mark Waid's previous Rocketeer mini, Cargo of Doom, was pure pulpy bliss.  However, Roger Langridge's work on this first issue feels rather ordinary and I don't respond well to J Bone's Darwyn Cookey art style.  It's another story in which evil scientist and government goons want Cliff's backpack - does this really have to be the plot of every Rocketeer comic?  But I'm still continuing.  After all, Cargo of Doom was only a so-so first issue and the promise of Lovecraftian tentacles (hmmmm, a theme this week) and Betty's female empowerment meddling is appealing.  We'll just have to see next issue.

Hawkeye #8:  I was kinda lukewarm on Fraction's last issue, but #8 is back in the saddle of greatness.  The mysterious redhead from previous issues appears again to make-out with Clint and embarrass him in front of all his exes (Black Widow, what a bitch).  She's got something dark & dangerous stored inside a safe, and the combination to its secrets are hidden within a batch of yellowed romance comics.  David Aja has all kinds of fun with those fake covers.  What I love so much about this title is how Fraction can take one & done storytelling and still manage to complete an overarching narrative.  The Bro Gang is back, they're chit chatting it up with The Owl & The Kingpin.  Life is only going to get more difficult for my new favorite Avenger.  Cannot wait to see more awkward pain land on his doorstep.

Gone With The Wind:  Woot!  I completed another Cinematic Resolution!  And who knew it would be so closely tied in emotion with Birth of a Nation?  I certainly had no idea I would react so poorly to the plight of Scarlet O'Hara.  But when I saw it on the AFI Silver's calendar I knew I wanted my first experience with this film to be on The Big Screen.  Not at grandma's house.  Not on Turner Classic Movies or TNT.  This movie is grande and it's meant to be seen 100 feet tall.  So The Wife, Matt, & I jumped in the car and flew to the theater Saturday afternoon.  And we all hated it.  Yes folks, wait for it...I Hated Gone With The Wind.  **GASP**  **CRY HAVOC**  and **BOO!**  One friend on Facebook told me I'm just a victim of overblown expectations.  Maybe.  But I genuinely knew nothing about this film other than "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn," that it was tied to the Civil War, and that it was really, really long.  I had no idea that Vivian Leigh's Scarlet was just a manipulative and heinous human being.  I'm told we're supposed to despise her.  Mission accomplished.  I wanted to slap her across the face for nearly the entire four hour run time.  Especially since she seems to enjoy slapping the hell outta her slaves and lovers.  Clark Gable is a stunning brute.  I enjoyed his spitting dialogue and self-depricating morality.  At least he knew he was a monster.  A rapist to boot, but thankfully when morning comes, Scarlet seems to enjoy the act of rape.  No means yes after all.  But I can enjoy a film peppered with deplorable human beings (see LA Confidential, Unforgiven, French Connection, Citizen Kane, and a million other movies).  What really irked me about Gone With The Wind is its general romanticizing of the good old days - you know where "the sound of negro laughter" filled the stables.  The title itself is an insult, sweeping across the screen as blacks pick cotton in the field.  Just gross.  I love overwrought melodrama as much as the next guy, but Gone With The Wind left a shameful taste in my mouth.  Not nearly as bitter or sad as Birth of a Nation, but it shared the same flavor.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (2/10/13-2/16/13)

Early in the week I got a sweet care package from the good folks over at the Warner Archive containing a handful of Jim Brown not-so-classics (Tick Tick Tick, Kenner, The Split, & The Slams) and the plan was to pound through them for Black History Month.  But my movie marathon has just not taken shape.  I consumed two of 'em and watched a couple other flicks, but this week was mostly about comic books.  The pleasure of the week had to be the third issue of Hellboy in Hell - the return of Mignola has proven to be grand indeed.  And the turd of the week goes to The Walking Dead's mid season return - what a stinker!

The Walking Dead - "The Suicide King":  This show has been defined by its peaks and valleys, and the final product tends to infuriate more often than it exhilarates.  Personal Beef #1:  After a rather intense cliffhanger conclusion (two months ago!) in which Merle & Daryl are forced into pit fighter combat, Rick & the gang suddenly appear and immediately free them from their death match.  Beef #2:  The faceless inhabitants of Woodbury loose their hateful, cagefight loving minds and inexplicably choose an inevitable demise in a zombie horde than chillax in the temporarily invaded compound.  And the guards don't want them to leave!?!?!  F that.  I say let this Marvel comics mob with their wishy washy dullard brains jump merrily into the rotting mouths of the undead, and be done with their simple asses.  Beef #3:  The last five minutes.  I won't spoil the absurdity here, but to say that it weakens Rick's character is an understatement that just doesn't fully capture my colossal annoyance.  It's a god damn travesty.  And where can this horrendous turn of events lead?  Nowhere good, I think.  My hope for this show is dwindling.  Especially when I have the brilliance of the source material right there on the shelf in front of me.

Tick...Tick...Tick...:  "If you're gonna kill me go ahead and get it over with, I'm just sorry it's not a man doin it." Jim Brown is the newly elected Sheriff of a rural southern town, the first black man to ever hold the position. Matching the righteous tone of the picture is an overbearing & extremely dated theme song that bonks you over the head every time something potentially heinous might occur. Jim Brown walks into a honky tonk - Theme Song! Jim Brown arrests a white man - Theme Song! Jim Brown faces off an angry mob - Theme Song! It's a bit much. And the film really doesn't feel like Jim Brown's movie the way it should. His Sheriff is so concerned with walking the line that he can't bear to break into violence. He's reserved. He's quiet. He does the right thing. I don't want that. George Kennedy, as his predecessor, is the brute of the film. He's allowed to show rage. And once he sides with Brown cuz "the law is the law" he gets to unleash some serious police brutality, barking and bashing on the racist assholes of the community. Tick...Tick...Tick is a solid enough film surrounding the powder keg of the human rights movement, but somehow a trashier B Movie flick like Roger Corman's The Intruder feels more honest. Tick...Tick...Tick is a message movie, and as is, it feels a little bit like a lie.

The Sour Lemon Score by Richard Stark:  After the lighthearted impracticality of The Black Ice Score, this twelfth Parker novel is a return to angry form for the series.  After a bank heist goes wrong and Parker's friends lie dead on the ground, our favorite professional thief trolls the East Coast hunting for George Uhl, the man who betrayed the score with the pull of a trigger.  But like most Parker novels, the man who seems the most problematic is not the real threat - enter psycho thug Matt Rosenstein.  With the introduction of his lady Claire, and some rather frivolous entries, it's nice to see Stark return to the unpleasant darkness of Parker's world and even more enjoyable to read the rage masked by Parker's professionalism.  This is the grit where Parker belongs.  Swift.  Logical.  Brutal.  And somewhat sad.  The Sour Lemon Score doesn't rank as high as The Hunter or The Outfit, but it does belong somewhere near the top of the middle.  I'm really looking forward to the next round of novels - I hear the build to Butcher's Moon is violent and severe.

All New X-Men #7:  The Young Cyclops wanders into the bank where The Old Cyclops stashes his cash and discoveries a sad note from the past...I mean, his future.  I freaking love this book.  Writer Brian Michael Bendis is taking what could potentially be a silly plot and rocking the time travel concept for all its worth; reminding this reader of the X-Men's self-righteous history while elevating the melodrama.  Plus, Wolverine's frustrated contempt towards young Cyke is hilarious and kinda heartwarming.  I don't like to see Mysteque setting her claws into the young X-Man and I really don't want him to become the dark figure that this seres will undoubtedly produce.

Iron Man #6:  Yes, I'm still reading this miserable book.  I guess I'm curious to see how Gillen takes ol' Shellhead to outer space and the internet banter surrounding Tony Stark's secret origin seems exciting enough.  But the sixth issue is just garbage.  Stark discovers a purple alien lady, and taking inspiration from Captain Kirk attempts to bed her.  Unfortunately, Stark sports a mustache and the purple woman vomits upon its discovery.  Uh huh, this is the type of wit we're forced to face month in and month out with this sophomoric nonsense.  There is some blather about the Phoenix Force, but I just can't get past the 'stache puker comedy.  Last month I said I wouldn't buy this issue and I make that promise again this week...but you know me, I'm gonna fold again.  I just really want to enjoy an Iron Man book.  Same could be said for Captain America.

Daredevil - End of Days #5:  Ben Urich has a chat with The Punisher while he rots behind bars, but as Ed Brubaker proved in his Bendis followup, Frank Castle is just as deadly in handcuffs as he is out of  them.  This issue also posits the resurrection of Matt Murdoch, in body and spandex.  Still, it does feel like it's meandering a bit, and I'm starting to get the sense that it can't possibly put a button on Bendis' epic run.  Which is a bummer - for this return to ultimately prove perfunctory would somewhat sully a perfect run of Daredevil comics.

Thunderbolts #4:  As I feared, this issue takes a bit of the punch from last issue's killer final page, but I'm still enjoying General Ross' assault on Katya Jaya.  And like with the book above, Frank Castle is the all star.  Super Heroes have nothing on a man willing to strap a land mine to his chest and play bear hug.  And Deadpool gets to enjoy his giggles.  What I'm really looking forward to is an Elektra/Punisher team-up - or will it just be a straight up killfest?

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #20:  Miles Morales faces off against his first true Spider-Man villain when the Venom symbiote shows up on his doorstep looking to consume Miles' father for a case of mistaken identity.  Is it Eddie Brock under the goo?  Is Venom just out for Spidey blood or is there a deeper purpose?  Not sure yet, but I'm looking forward to some super hero smackdown and I've got my fingers crossed that Jessica Drew is gonna appear for some much needed backup.

Winter Soldier #15:  After Ed Brubaker's disappointing exit, writer Jason Latour picks up the reins and delivers a merry little book.  Not much time is spent on the Black Widow memory wipe fallout (that seems to be happening a lot right now in the Marvel universe) as Bucky jumps right into another evil Hydra plot (there seems to be a lot of those too).  But where the narrative feels a little too familiar, the tone of the adventure is frothy fun and that is definitely refreshing.  Artist Nic Klein has a punchy pulp style and I love his half split Hydra goons sprouting Lovecraftian tentacles.  And who does't love a POV shot as Night of the Hunter brass knuckles come flying at you?  Still waiting to see if the story actually captivates, but it's a fun book and that's something Brubaker's Cap stories weren't...at least in the last two out of his eight year run.  I hate to write that - I'm team Brubaker - but it's bloody true.

Hellboy in Hell #3:  I read a lot of Mike Mignola interviews building up to the release of last year's Hellboy in Hell.  In most of them he stated how he was currently interested in telling short, little stories set in the underworld.  And he also stated that the first three issues of Hellboy in Hell would put the final button on Hellboy's Beast of the Apocalypse problem.  I just could not believe that.  For twenty years, Hellboy has been struggling to shed his apocalyptic crown - how could three simple issues wrap up all that brooding angst?  Well, damn.  Mignola has done just that.  Hellboy's certainly not free and clear from his doom & gloom and he's still stuck down under, but it does appear that the 666 mantel has been shed.  And it's all done in a logical and satisfying manner.  I'm shocked and stoked.  Plus, this issue also sees the introduction of HB's siblings, a look at his father's present state, Leviathan, and the Prince of Darkness himself.  Easily one of my most favorite single issues from the series.

Kenner:  Jim Brown plays an American sailor searching the Karma confused streets of Bombay for the man who murdered his partner.  As he bumps into some awkwardly Westernized interpretations of hinduism he also stumbles upon a young boy searching for his American father.  The two form an antagonistic friendship that's tested even further when the boy's mother inexplicably falls for Jim Brown.  I wish I could report a lost classic, but Kenner is dullsville at best and painfully boring at worst.  I will say that there is one surprising twist that got me to sit up and take notice, but by the time the train barrels through the screenplay it's far too late for me to care about a surprise death.

Skyfall:  The blu ray is truly stunning, and I stand by my previous statements that this is the most beautiful looking James Bond film to date.  The climactic Straw Dogs siege on the moors, the high rise Shanghai assassination, the hotel room shave - this is movie art ready for the frames on your walls.  And Javier Bardem's teasing psychopath is the most fun we've had with a Bond villain since the days of Sean Connery and Goldfinger.  Sure, the pacing seems a little clunky  as we jump from one interrogation to the next, but I love all the banter, and the homefront assault adds a nice change of p(L)ace for the typically international intrigue.

I Come In Peace (aka Dark Angel):  "Fuck You Space Man!"  I haven't seen this film in nearly twenty years, but thanks to the miracle of On Demand I was able to bask in its bizarro beauty one more time.  Dolph Lundgren is a street wise detective investigating the villainous White Boys gang, and when he's not distracted by his eclectic art collection he's spewing pithy one-liners.  After his partner is executed he's saddled with Brian Benben's spit shined G-Man and the buddy cop pair quickly find themselves involved in an intergalactic drug war...wait, what?  Yeah.  So one giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to harvest drugs from our brains, while another giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to kick that one's ass.  Yeah, ok.  That's bonkers.  But AWESOME!  I Come In Peace is an incomprehensible mess, but it's also loaded with endless explosions and gratuitous intergalactic murder - can't beat that, right?  Made at the tail end of the 1980s, the film desperately wants to ape some of that Walter Hill 48 Hours charisma and in their own way Benben & Lundgren succeed through sheer oddity.

Justified - "Foot Chase":  So far, this episode is one of the season's highlights.  In attempt to beat Walton Goggins to the punch - the punch being the footless Gerald McRaney (another Deadwood alum as well as the better half of Simon & Simon) - Timothy Olyphant and Jim Beaver have themselves a federal/local law team-up.  Olyphant's not sure he can trust Beaver given his seedy history with Goggins, but the two eventually form a jabbing repartee that brought great smiles to this Bullock/Ellsworth fan.  McRaney appears not to be the mysterious Drew Thompson, but I wouldn't count those chickens before they roost and I'm hoping that McRaney still has a large role to play for this season - whether he's one-legged or not.

The Walking Dead - Book One:  Friday night was the 9th meeting of the Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club and we finally convinced enough folks to dive into Robert Kirkman's zombie opus.  I was really looking forward to revisiting this series, especially given my seemingly unsurmountable hatred of the last tv episode, and I'm thinking I'll plow my way through the rest of the big hardcovers.  Taking that into account, I was a little surprised at my lackluster enthusiasm for the first two arcs in this series.  Kirkman doesn't quite have a handle on these characters just yet, and even though all of his comics are bogged down with expository dialogue, this book is practically bursting at the seams with blah blah blah.  For the first story, I was really only moved by the Jim character - the idea that this quiet mechanic has suffered so much and the moment when he unleashes his rage it results in his quiet death.  Very sad.  But where as the television show seems to drone on and on with some of these themes, this first book rushes through them.  Hershel's farm is but a drop in the bucket, just when some serious philosophizing begins the barn doors are opened and the walkers burst out.  I remember falling head over heels with this book during the first trade, but as my memory reworks itself I'm thinking my love truly doesn't set in till they get to the prison.  So on to hardcover number 2.  For the most part, the group enjoyed this book but only a couple folks seemed interested in pursuing further issues.  Curious.  But ya know what?  Invincible is easily the superior saga and no one in the group got that except Matt & myself.

Batman #17:  Scott Snyder's supposedly epic Death of the Family arc comes to a close and I find myself a little disappointed.  That being said, I thought this issue pulled off a lot more drama than I was expecting given my lukewarm response to previous issues, and Greg Capullo's art continues to amaze with its ghastly beauty.  What's under the dinner dome?  The answer is nasty and genuinely surprising...even if five pages later status quo veil is dropped.  But when you compare this tale to other Snyder vehicles like The Court of Owls or The Black Mirror, it really offers nothing new to the Bat mythos.  Joker is a crazy bastard.  Batman won't kill him.  The never ending stalemate continues.  I'm happy Snyder got this character out of his system, and I'm hoping he can move on to some new territory.  More original characters, less sandbox whimsy.

Fatale #13:  "She'd known for a long time there was more than one layer to the sky."  I have yet to be disappointed by Fatale.  Jumping hundreds of years into the past, we get a glimpse at a creature very similar to Josephine and the witchfinder cult so desperate to carve her up.  There are a few clues as to the mystical origin at the center of this noir story, but these clues offer more mindbending questions than answers.  This issue still has that 40s dread, but artist Sean Phillips is really getting his Hammer Horror freak on here and I can perfectly imagine Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee walking around inside these panels.  As much as I enjoyed last month's stand alone issue, #13 is even better.  Cannot wait for The Wild West excursion next month.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  I'm pretty sure that I would have enjoyed this book if not for artist Chris Bachalo.  I've never been a fan; his style seems to be a muddy bastardization of manga and I just can't grasp how his characters bend & wobble all over the page.  Writer Brian Michael Bendis attempts to explore the dirty revolution of this current Cyclops dictator, and the mole revealed on the final page is definitely intriguing.  But Uncanny X-Men lacks the joy of its sister book All New X-Men, and if Bachalo is on  for the long haul than I'm not sure I can handle his squishy interpretation.  As with several other Marvel Now books, I'll give it six months before making my final decision.

Powers - Bureau #1:  Half the time I love Brian Michael Bendis (Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, All New X-Men) and the other half of the time I find him completely and utterly frustrating (New Avengers, Avengers, Mighty Avengers), and Powers is the very personification of this annoyance.  There are books in this series that I find absolutely breathtaking (Supergroup, The Sellouts, Forever) but then there are stories that refuse to continue the earth shattering events of previous books.  Take this new relaunch for example.  In the last book the world seemed to have been completely devastated a la BPRD Hell On Earth, but now we see that it was just a localized event and the federal government is back to the business of enforcing Powers laws.  Just another crime of the week.  Dammit.  Let's get back to Walker's crazy ass Conan The Barbarian past.  Once you hit the Forever arc there should be no turning back, but Bendis seems to refuse forward momentum.  So very frustrating.

Fantastic Four #4:  My favorite issue from Matt Fraction's run so far.  Not as good as FF or Hawkeye, but I appreciated the time shifting structure of this story.  Reed is writing an apology note of sorts to Sue, explaining his POV at the time of their first meeting and how it parallels their current planetary adventure.  He's basically using a lot of words to say he's sorry for hiding their cellular disease.  But I don't think Sue's going to just role over with hugs & kisses.  Fraction seems to be amping up the family melodrama and I'm a sucker for that stuff as much as I am the inter-dimensional science-fiction.  Basically Fraction is showing us what the essential Marvel book looks like and you should all be on board.  Excelsior!

Archer & Armstrong #7:  Another solid issue, but not big shocks or awes.  Archer, Armstrong, and The Eternal Warrior all seem to be on the same side at this point despite some passive aggressive banter and some not so passive death threats.  If I had any complaint at all it would be this new Geomancer character.  She's sassy and kooky and I want none of that.  Hopefully she's just a storytelling device and not a new addition to the team.

Rome - Season 2:  "I have the same sickness."  And you thought the stabbing murder of Julius Caesar was rough?  The second season of Rome kicks off with our two favorite Centurions descending even further down their personal hells and they leave a massive trail of bloody corpses in their wake.  Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a murder as brutal or hateful as the one found in the second to last episode of this season - now, that is how you choke somebody to death.  Granted the rise & fall of Marc Antony (and that Cleopatra slut) is a little less glamorous than the mighty Caesar's savage execution, but actors Kevin McKidd & Ray Stevenson are a perfect set of badasses to follow, even if they are the most pathetic and deplorable set of friends.  And I'd rank their bromance right up there with Denny Crane & Alan Shore.  That's love, baby.

--Brad