The Dorkies 2014! (Matt's Picks)

    After two pretty rough years, 2014 finally brought it home for me.  Sure, it’s not 2011, but it’s a good year.  While the Fall season produced few films of note, the earlier part of the year was quite nice.  And that meant that I didn’t have such a glum demeanor throughout.  There were, perhaps, few so called ‘great’ films.  But there were plenty of good ones, and that’s OK by me.  Plus, they were all over the place, from drama to action, foreign to domestic.  Nice.  Take a look back at Dorkies past with 2011, 2012, and 2013.  And give a listen to our ITMODcast episodes about our top 10 movies; episode 1 and episode 2.


10.  The Raid 2:  The Raid and Dredd came out the same year, and they’ve got basically the same ‘plot.’  Between the two, I preferred Dredd, in part because of the science fiction elements; in part because they finally got the character right on screen.  But The Raid still slipped on to my top 20 list, because of how awesome the action and fighting were.  So, I was glad to see the sequel, but not especially expecting much.  What I got was a thrill ride whirlwind of extreme violence and visceral horror.  Half way through the movie, I was begging characters to start using guns to kill people, just to be more humane.  The story, while nothing new or special, does take the characters into new territory and the acting and character beats make the movie stand out among its peers, if the tremendous fight choreography didn’t already.

9.  Cold in July:  Director Jim Mickle has been making low budget horror films that have been among the best in recent years (Mulberry St., Stake Land, & We Are What We Are).  This time around he turns his eye on an 80s set crime story, and it’s awesome.  You will not be ready for where the film takes you.  When you think it’s one kind of story, it becomes another.  And when it goes dark…It goes so danged dark.  And Don Johnson!

8.  All You Need is Kill (aka Edge of Tomorrow):  Though there have been a lot of very disappointing science fiction movies lately, there really have been a lot of good ones.  In this Groundhog Day style story of a man stuck repeating the moments before his death at the hands of alien invaders, Tom Cruise gets to do what he does best in solid action scene after solid action scene.  The film doesn’t talk down to the audience, which is nice.  There’s a good story, and a good protagonist character arc.  But what I also really liked was that Emily Blunt, who is quickly becoming a Matt favorite, gets a meaty, badass role.  Science fiction film remains far, far behind the literature.  But I’m hoping that at least in the coming years, we can finally see women getting better parts in genre films.  More like this, less like Anne Hathaway in Interstellar (The crying…Oh, the crying).

7.  Mr. Turner:  It’s not too surprising that a movie about a painter would be beautiful.  But this late life story of J.M.W. Turner is more than a visual feast.  As the camera moves around through his day to day life, we get a growing understanding of the man and his world, of the wonders and horrors of life in Victorian England.  On the surface, the film is bright and beautiful, with less of the grim, sooty gloom you might expect from the world of Dickens and the like.  But as Turner’s servant slowly rots and one by one people die of various sicknesses, or chronicle lives of shattering horror, the viewer is reminded of just how terrible the past was, even for those we think of as privileged (in this case, the British upper class).  I like that the film doesn’t feel the need to tell you a lot.  You watch, and you take it in, and you make your own judgments.  Turner’s extremely sweet and loving relationship with his father, his horrible relationship with an estranged family, his budding romance with a twice widowed woman, the awkward dealings with a self-important/self-destructive and money obsessed fellow artist, his puppy-like devoted servant… We see it all, but without being told what we should think.  (As a side note, I saw this right after seeing this year’s Belle, and they make fine companion pieces.  Belle takes place about a hundred years earlier, and both have interesting things to say about class and society in England of that time).

6.  Ida:  Gorgeous black & white cinematography draws you in to this story of a cloistered young woman, about to take her vows and become a nun.  Contacted by an estranged aunt Wanda, she takes a trip out into the world, where she learns about her past and what it is that she’s preparing to give up.  Generations of guilt and horror lurk, as Ida explores her family history and her aunt reveals dark secrets.  The Holocaust, the Communist purges, and the shadow of the Cold War.  Dang.  Like 2012’s Barbara, it looks at the other side of the Iron Curtain in a different way than I’m used to.  Ida and Wanda are two fascinating characters, set apart from their world for different reasons.  Quiet, but compelling.

5.  Guardians of the Galaxy:  Not a lot of movies, outside of the original Star Wars trilogy embrace the crazy, fun, weird, wild worlds of Space Opera.  And fewer still do it successfully.  Guardians of the Galaxy takes a handful of obscure Marvel Comics characters (though for once, characters I was familiar with) and thrusts them center stage.  And it’s Marvelous.  It’s like Farscape got a movie.  Fun, funny, irreverent, and full of heart.  The tone is light, but it still manages to tug on the heartstrings in ways the other Marvel Cinematic Universe films haven’t.  As a whole, I think the MCU films are fantastic, but individually, this and Thor are the only ones I truly love.  I feel like maybe I’m living in another Science Fiction golden age, akin to the 1980s.  Sure, I may be disappointed by the odd Prometheus or Interstellar, but I’m getting Science Fiction that ranges from thought provoking to heart pounding.  And I love it.  And finally, genre films like this are being seen and enjoyed by all, not poo-pooed by snobs.

4.  Jodorowsky’s Dune:  I saw a lot of documentaries this year, many of them quite good, many of them exciting and inspiring (see my top 20 for more).  But this portrait of professional mad bastard Alejandro Jodorowsky hits all my buttons.  It was a different time.  The 1970s.  And someone thought, let’s adapt the sprawling epic novel Dune for the big screen.  And of course, let’s put the man behind Holy Mountain and El Topo at the helm.  WHAAAAAAAT?  As this master of the weird assembled his Avengers of Transcendence, a movie that would shape decades of science fiction film would begin to grow.  But it was too much.  It couldn’t happen.  Yet, out of the death of this overly ambitious project, so much was born.  For a film buff, and specifically for a science fiction buff, this movie is a must.  And the central figure, Jodorowsky, is a marvel.  He lives up to everything you expect from the guy who wrote The Metabarons.  Makes me wish I could travel to an alternate universe, where Tom Selleck was Indiana Jones, Christopher Walken was Han Solo, and Jodorowsky made Dune (and perhaps took humanity to a new state of being).

3.  Under the Skin:  Did you watch Drive and think, “Why’s everyone talking so much?”  Did you see Only God Forgives and think, “Why’s there so much exposition?”  Well, have I got a movie for you.  I can’t really tell you what it’s about.  Figuring that out is part of the magic of watching the movie.  I can tell you this.  There is no exposition.  The film never tells you what’s happening.  It’s beautifully shot.  It’s occasionally horrific.  The first time I watched it, the ending really, really bothered me.  The second time I watched it, I came to the belief that the ending completely worked.  The music is very weird.  Hope that all helps.

2.  Godzilla:  I could gush and gush about this film.  It lived up to all my Kaiju hopes.  From the first teaser trailer with Oppenheimer’s “Destroyer of Worlds” speech to the moment Godzilla shot atomic destruction down the Muto’s throat, I was buzzing with excitement.  This is the Godzilla film I’ve been waiting for, the first one to really, really get to the heart of the beast since the classic Showa era.  Godzilla is the essence of the Earth, the manifestation of its will, nature personified.  Be it aliens, creatures from the deepest parts of the planet, pollution, or human meddling, Godzilla will put things to right, no matter how much gets broken in the process.  Bring on King Ghidorah!

1.  The Grand Budapest Hotel:  Probably the most meticulously Wes Anderson movie Wes Anderson has made yet, this film is at turns funny, crass, sad, and intensely strange.  If you allow yourself to buy into Anderson’s ‘Doll House’ film making, this will be a delightful journey.  Elements hearken back to Golden Age Hollywood, to European adventure movies, and to Cold War paranoia.  The cast and cast of characters are top notch Anderson, with plenty of regulars and a few new faces.  And Ralph Fiennes is in top form as the wonderfully debauched, debonair, and downright profane M. Gustave.

Best Actress:  Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl plays so many different roles, from sweet to Satan.  Pike’s changes through the movie elevate what could easily have been silly into a truly terrifying performance.  And sometimes, in spite of all the horror she does, you still find yourself hoping things work out for the best.  That’s a tough thing to sell.  (Runner up: Marion Cotillard in The Immigrant)

Best Actor:  Ralph Fiennes in The Grand Budapest Hotel is a profane charmer.  It’s a return of dashing Fiennes, and I love it.  He jumps into the hyper-stylized world of Wes Anderson and starts throwing dialog like he’s always lived there.  His delivery is as impeccable as M. Gustave’s Hotel.  A great comic performance if ever there were one.  (Runner up: Timothy Spall in Mr. Turner)

Best Supporting Actress:   Agata Kulesza in Ida almost steels the show as the weary and wary old revolutionary.  She is the bitter, shattered husk of a disillusioned party shill, and Kulesza manages to make you feel for someone that by all rights you should hate.  A monster in her latter days, possibly redeemed in some small way by gifts of worldly wisdom to her innocent niece.  (Runner up: Rene Russo in Nightcrawler)

Best Supporting Actor:  Dave Bautista in Guardians of the Galaxy took a character that could have been dull, even with the script, and spiced it up with his teddy bear charm.  It’s really a break-out role for him, and I hope that he can turn it into something.  (Runner up: Don Johnson in Cold in July)

Best Director:  Pawel Pawlikowski for Ida.  A beautiful, tight, well acted study of two women in the shadow of the Iron Curtain.  It may not be as flashy as some, but it’s darned fine.  (Runner up: Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel)

The Bottom Five Films of the Year:

(I don’t even want to talk about how bad these movies are.  I’d simply advise not to bother).

5.  Raze

4.  Hector and the Search for Happiness

3.  Transformers: Age of Extinction

2.  Transcendence

1.  300: Rise of an Empire

"This!  Is!  ....Bullshit!!!"

Biggest Disappointments:

5.  Interstellar: Beautiful, with a great score and a couple good performances.  But kinda obvious and too rooted in 2001.  I’d rather go back and watch Dave, Hal, and the bone wielding apes than see the infinite bookshelf room again.

4.  Lucy:  I wanted to see a return to early Luc Besson.  Alas, no.  Just more contemporary Luc Besson (read: crap).

3.  Expendables 3:  That’s it.  I’m out.  I loved the heck out of the first two stupid movies in this stupid franchise.  But part three gutted the violence, focused on unlikable/unwatchable young actors and felt like it missed any and all points.

2.  Snowpiercer:  The look and concept are fantastic.  The script…not so much.  For this viewer, the film needed to be a 30 minute shorter action movie, or an 8 hour longer mini-series.  Nowhere near enough world building or character development to make me care when things start happening.  I feel like there was a good movie in here somewhere.

1.  The Immigrant:  The production design is beautiful and atmospheric.  And the three leads are all excellent.  Unfortunately, it seems like the three actors are in different films, acting past each other, not with each other.  Marion Cotillard is especially good and feels the most right for the story.  If only the film had focused on her, and not bothered with the weird, totally tone-deaf love triangle.  Alas.

Video Finds:

10.  Mr. Nobody:  A strange and interesting science fiction movie that deals with what might have been and what might be.  The differences in our futures based on the choices we make.  Similar in theme to Run Lola Run, it handles the topic in a very different way.

9.  The Ballad of Narayama:  A beautifully crafted fairy tale about age and death.  It has a beautiful artificiality that lends a lot to the feel of a tale told around a fire.

8.  Vanishing Waves:  This Lithuanian science fiction film is all kinds of weird.  Kind of a new take on Altered States, but with plenty of its own twists.

7.  Love:  A solid, artsy but not to pretentious science fiction film, shot on a budget.  It looks really good and has enough going for it that fans should seek it out.

6.  Legendary Weapons of China:  Plenty of badass weapon combat in this classic Martial Arts flick.  Great action.

5.  Age of Consent:  James Mason goes off to an island to get a sense of himself.  There, he meets a young woman who helps remind him of how to live life.

4.  Manborg:  What can one say about Manborg?  If you were (are?) one of those people who haunted the library stacks of video rental shops, hunting for that rare film you’d never heard of (Slipstream, Xtro, Basket Case, Spacehunter, etc.); if you waited with bated breath for the newest Full Moon or Troma video release; if you love a really good bad movie; you’ve got to check out Manborg.  It gets it so right, and so wonderfully wrong.  Obviously crafted by folks with a deep love for those obscure works of the past, it’s a thrill for a fan like me.

3.  The Wraith:  Related to Manborg, this is one of those 80s movies that used to sit on those very video rental shop shelves.  For some reason I’ll never understand, I hadn’t seen this film until this year.  Now that I have, I can’t believe it isn’t talked about more.  Such great 80s weirdness, great cast, and so much fun.

2.  Die Farbe:  I’m always on the lookout for good Lovecraftian horror films.  More, I’m on the lookout for good actual adaptation of Lovecraft’s work.  And here we have The Color Out of Space, in German.  It’s an excellent take on the tale, with fairly limited alteration (connections to WWII, for example) that do nothing to detract from the source (like the romance in the otherwise excellent The Resurrected).  Very much a film to seek out.

1.  Altered States:  One of those movies I’ve been aware of for what seems like forever, but have rarely heard good things about.  Often referred to as ‘boring’ or something similar.  For whatever reason, I decided it was time to break down and check it out, and I’m glad I did.  I loved it.  Steeped in all that post-Hippie, Utopian, drug-fueled, mad science stuff that I love so much in Fringe, Beyond the Black Rainbow, Rabid, and more, it’s got lots of cool images, some solid performances, and a pretty crazy ending.  For Fringe fans, this is a must, as it absolutely feels like the stuff Walter, Belly, and Nina were getting up to in those early days.

2014’s Most Forgettable:

Jack Ryan: Not a bad movie, but didn’t this come out years ago?  No?!  Wow.  I vaguely remember watching it, I guess.

Seriously, I have the ticket stub. I know I saw it.

Best Viewings at the Alamo Drafthouse:

5.  The Good the Bad and the Ugly

4.  Halloween III (this is up there with seeing Phantasm II & Razorback at the AFI Silver)

3.  City Lights

2.  Rocky IV

1.  3 Dev Adam (aka Turkish Captain America)

Glad to See You Again:

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.  I was glad to see a fun and enjoyable Middle Earth again.  After a lackluster first film and a crappy second, I was glad that the third Hobbit film was more enjoyable, and more in line with the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

Hey, It’s Better Than Avatar! (movies that might not be great, but they‘re better than Avatar):

5.  Chef

4.  Noah

3.  Interstellar

2.  How to Train Your Dragon 2

1.  Big Hero 6

The Life of Pi Award for Most Simpering New Age Crap:

Hector and the Search for Happiness

Best Documentary:

Life Itself:  While not shying away from the uglier sides of Roger Ebert, this ultimately uplifting film celebrates the man, warts intact.  More emotionally resonant than many fictional works, it made me love the life’s work of a man I rarely agreed with.

Mulder’s Beard (the one good thing in an otherwise unwatchable film):

Antonio Banderas’s crazy bastard performance in The Expendables 3

Best Score:

Under the Skin

Best Soundtrack:

Guardians of the Galaxy

Best Moment:

Godzilla’s Atomic Breath

Best God Fight:

Yahweh VS. The Sinful Hoards in Noah

Best Cameo:

Howard the Duck in Guardians of the Galaxy

My Most Anticipated Film of 2015:

Jupiter Ascending:  I’ve liked all the directors’ previous films and I’m super excited to see original, grand scale science fiction being realized on screen.  Sadly, while everyone complains so heavily about a lack of originality in movies, bemoaning sequels and remakes, everyone also seems bound and determined to ignore anything original.  Well, I’m gonna be there, dang it.  And so should you.  For the future.  For America.  For the children.

Top Twenty:

20.  Nightcrawler
19.  Captain America: The Winter Soldier
18.  Tracks
17.  The Signal
16.  The Rover
15.  Particle Fever
14.  Life Itself
13.  Tim’s Vermeer
12.  Belle
11.  Automata
10.  The Raid 2
9.  Cold in July
8.  All You Need is Kill
7.  Mr. Turner
6.  Ida
5.  Guardians of the Galaxy
4.  Jodorowsky's Dune
3.  Under the Skin
2.  Godzilla
1.  The Grand Budapest Hotel

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (9/14/14-9/20/14)

    Not much in the way of Dork living this week.  Just watched a few movies and zoned out a lot.

The Smiling Ghost:  A goofy comic caper in the style that would go on to influence Scooby-Doo, this bit of fluff is enjoyable, with some fun performances.  But it also features some of that old timey racism that is so bloody awkward.

Borgman:  There’s about 75% of an awesomely weird movie here.  The missing 25% is the kicker, though.  While I’m all for films that don’t explain themselves, I still need enough to work out an explanation for myself.  Things are left so vague, there are simply too many ways to look at the events for my taste.  Sadly, the one that seems most popular (that Borgman is the devil) is the lamest.  Perhaps he is an alp, a sort of nightmare faerie.  This could have been so good.  But like the recent film Thale, it doesn’t have enough to build its mystery upon.

Destroy All Monsters:  Aliens and stock footage attack the world in this mid-level Godzilla film.  It’s more fun to watch than its almost clip-show reliance on previously filmed material would suggest.  The human characters and the aliens are fun.

Hector and the Search for Happiness:  “Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness? …Fuck you!”  When the movie started off, I was enjoying it.  I liked the cast and I don’t have a problem with obvious, uplifting plots.  Heck, I enjoyed the heck out of the Pollyannaish film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.  But somewhere in the middle of this movie (right around the kidnapping in Africa), it all goes wrong.  From that point on, the message becomes not just obvious, but condescending and wrong-headed.  In a way, it reminded me of Life of Pi, which you may remember I was not the biggest fan (it was my worst film of 2012).  The last twenty minutes of the film are kind of insufferable, in spite of a wacky Christopher Plummer performance.

Castle of Blood:  Barbara Steele bug-eyes her way through another black and while horror film with delusions of Hammer.  The look of the film is good, but the story kind of dull.  And the resolution doesn’t hold interest especially well.  I guess it wouldn’t be uncharacteristically crass of me to say, the film continues to promise lots of skin, and never delivers (apparently there is a version that does feature nudity...this wasn't it), which doesn’t help.

    On Friday night, I finished up Andre Norton’s Secret of the Lost Race, a fun Golden Age science fiction novel.  I love her early work, full as it is of that 50s/60s wide open universe storytelling.  Not hampered so much by the later 60s/70s doom and gloom.

The Juniper Tree:  The Brothers Grimm get the indie film treatment in this black and white Bjork vehicle.  The accented English was a surprise.  I figured the film would be subtitled.  It looks pretty good, but feels too long.  As a thirty or forty minute short in a lager Grimm anthology film, it might have worked better.  Not bad, but not especially captivating.

Blonde Venus:  Marlene Dietrich heads an excellent cast in this film about a woman who tries to help her sick husband, only to succumb to the charms of other men.  Following the story arc is crazy.  But it’s a pretty good story, giving Dietrich plenty of material to sink her teeth into.  And very, very young Cary Grant is devilishly charming as the film’s almost villain.

    On Saturday, I caught two of the three silent comedies on my resolutions list.  I’m hoping to get The General in by the end of this next week.

The Gold Rush:  One more of my cinematic resolutions down.  When my resolution list was made, I had never seen a Charlie Chaplin film.  Since making the list, I’ve seen two; this is my third.  Unfortunately, it’s also the weakest.  There are some very good bits and gags.  But the overall story is only meh, and the very good bits are few and far between.  Still, the actors are charming and some of the comedy bits are impressive.

Safety Last!:  Famous for its stunts, this comedy is pretty typical of the 20s, with a poor kid going off to the big city to make his bucks, only to fail and try to make people think he didn’t.  Expected comic hijinks ensue.  The stunts are impressive and Harold Lloyd is good.  But the star of the film is obviously the big building climb and all the associated stunts and gags.

    And that’s about it.  Like I said, not much Dork living.  I know I’ve got a couple things coming right up though.  And I sure as heck have a bunch of reading to do.  Oh, and Lisa came up with the idea of doing a 30 Day Sketch Challenge.  I’ve been having fun defacing things with illustrations.

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (7/27/14-8/2/14)

    Vacation weeks are always awesome.  I got some serious movie watching in, for the first time in a while.  And I had some adventures.  So, good times.

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.:  With Mechagodzilla nearly repaired, the Twins show up and demand that he not be used, that the Godzilla bones inside him be returned to the sea.  Crazy talk.  But it’s OK.  ‘Cause they say Mothra will step in and do any kaiju crushing that need be done.  Of course, trouble is brewing, and plans go awry.

Godzilla: Final Wars:  Danged aliens.  This movie is probably the second craziest, after Invasion of Astro-Monster.  It’s kitchen sink filmmaking at its best.  Tons of monsters, aliens, super-powered mutants, a kid and his hillbilly grandfather driving around in a truck with baby-Godzilla, super-tech vehicles, and the end of the world.  It’s nuts.  Salted nuts.  And it’s a wonderful, silly send-off for the franchise as it went into retirement again.

Ossessione:  An Italian take on a classic Noir tale.  It’s pretty good, but lacks a certain panache.  Like the leads in Double Indemnity, the leads in this film are unappealing.  However, where that worked in the former, it works less in this.  The Italian setting is probably the best part, lending a familiar story some exotic elements.

The Raid 2:  So, so danged violent.  This movie is intensely brutal, in your face, gut punchingly violent.  My second viewing may not have had the visceral impact it had when I saw it in the theater, but it’s still darned nasty.  Darned nasty.

Streets of Fire:  One of the most wonderfully 80s movies out there.  It’s a half 50s/half 80s fantasy cityscape of Rock & Roll and neon.  Greasers, bikers, ex-soldiers, a rocker-girl, and a dozen other cliché characters come together on the streets to set the night on fire.  Over the top 80s music.  Crazy fashion.  And so much cheesy dialog.  It’s no surprise that this is one of my all time favorite films.

    On Tuesday, my lady and I headed to DC, where we checked out the Spy Museum, which was pretty cool.  There are a lot of interesting displays, and the James Bond exhibit is quite nice.  From there, we headed over to District of Pi for some tasty pizza.  Then we grabbed a bus instead of a metro, so we could see the city as we headed for Silver Spring.  Once there, we checked out Piratz Tavern, where I drank me a big ol’ mug of grog.  It was pretty good.  Then we hit up Quarry House Tavern where the tater tots were excellent.  And then, after all that, thanks to my lady and her awesome connections, we went over to the Regal theater to see an advanced screening of Guardians of the Galaxy (take that, Brad!).

Guardians of the Galaxy:  The latest entry in the expanding Marvel Cinematic Universe is fun and exciting, tapping into the wild imagination of old-timey science fiction, while developing various elements of the setting.  The writing is cute and clever, while keeping the adventure thrilling.  The main villain for the film, Ronan The Accuser, like most of the villains Marvel has thrown at its heroes so far, is somewhat lackluster.  The Red Skull is probably the only solid villain so far, and it doesn’t look like he’s coming back (though he totally could and should).  I know they’re building up Thanos.  Hopefully that works out.  Fans of the previous Marvel films should find plenty to enjoy, but the film can easily stand alone.  I can’t wait to see the further adventures of the Guardians and how they’ll work into the stories of other Marvel heroes and villains.

Finding Vivian Maier:  The fascinating and sometimes dark life of a secretive woman is revealed after her death.  When a man discovers a huge pile of photo negatives, he begins a quest to find out about the woman who took them.  Vivian Maier emerges as a wonderful character, deeply flawed, but richly talented, who created the life she wanted for herself, even if it might not have been the best life she could have had.  The documentary doesn’t shy away from some of her darker ways, including what seems to be a descent into some kind of mental illness.  But it also celebrates her way of seeing the world, and her spirit of quiet self determination.  Like some of the most interesting self-made people, Maier’s early life has a romantic, thrilling nature, with world travel and mystery.  This film is a good glimpse at an artist doing art for herself, not for anyone else.  I respect and am somewhat awed by that.

Cuban Fury:  A cute story about a former salsa dancing champion who threw it all away after being bullied.  Now, as schlubby adult, he’s prompted to take up the shoes of fire again when he meets a woman he thinks is out of his league.  It’s pretty light and goofy, but it’s funny and charming.  If you’re in the mood for a pleasant romantic comedy, this one is pretty good.  And some of the performances are quite good.

Psychomania:  The child of a woman who has sold herself to Satan, now heads a biker gang.  Of course, like any good biker gang, they all want to burn the world down, and what better way but to kill themselves and come back as immortal hellions.  Yup.  Overall, the movie was OK, in that very 70s, British horror movie way.  But it’s not quite as sleazy as it should have been, and not as weird.  I like the feel, but it seems a bit too safe.

The Bible: In the Beginning…:  Nothing puts the madness and villainy of the Bible in focus quite so much as seeing it presented in images.  I found this to be true when looking at The Brick Bible (Bible stories done in Lego), and I find it in some of these Biblical epics.  This film takes on several of the bigger stories from the Old Testament.  And they’re awful.  The God of the Old Testament is a monster; tormenting, cruel, fickle, and beastly by any measure.  In the Old Testament, God seems to be like a schoolyard bully who grabs a victim by the hand, slaps the victim across the face with it, and yells “why are you hitting yourself?!” over and over.  And the morality of his people is suspect, at best.  The Tower of Babel, Noah’s Ark, the two angels and Lot, Abraham, etc.  Each story is peppered with cruelty, evil, and human misery, as, in the best tradition of Bronze Age mythology (the gods of the Greeks are as tormenting and petty, to be sure), the divine represents the whims and horrors of nature, and things outside of the control or ken of Mankind.  The production looks good, and the cast is the usual mix of quality you got in these big budget, ‘cast of thousands’ type films.  And everyone is Bible-acting, which is much like Shakespeare, but with less passion.  George C. Scott is, perhaps, going a bit overboard as Abraham.  It would probably make a good companion with The Ten Commandments, though I’ll not be doing that double header (because The Ten Commandments is super, super dull…sorry, but it is).

Space 1999 Season 1:  The first season of this show is quite good, with a solid, classic science fiction heart and a nice leaning toward the creepy and weird.  The cast is good, most of the episodes are good, and the effects and production design are generally pretty good, too.  There are elements of Golden Age science fiction, like the stories you’d hear on radio shows like Dimension X.  And there’s some of that very British New-Age stuff of its time.  Like The Starlost, some of the better original series Trek episodes, etc., it taps in to the types of sci-fi I love the most.

    Friday morning, I finished the first volume of The First Kingdom, which was really cool.  I don’t think I’ll be delving in to the second volume right away, as it’s kind of dense for a comic.  But I liked it, and I look forward to seeing what else happens to the various characters.

Battlestar Galactica Blood & Chrome:  I’m mostly cold on prequels.  Not that they can’t be done well, but they typically aren’t.  Case in point; Caprica, the previous Battlestar prequel series.  However, this one manages to get it right, with just enough revealed to make it worth the time, while still having some mystery.  Yes, we know William Adama makes it out.  But the rest of it?  Anyone’s game.  My hope for Battlestar in the future (if there is any future for it) is not another prequel, but something that takes the setting well into its future, exploring entirely new concepts and characters.  I doubt it’ll happen, but that’s my hope.  In the meantime, this is a fine taste for those missing the show.

Cyclone:  A dumb, low rent movie about an advanced motorcycle and some tools who want to steal it.  This is the kind of thing that drive-ins and straight to video were made for.  Probably best to watch with friends, so you can give it the MST3K treatment.

Alienator:  This one has a smidge of low budget charm, but that’s about it.  Dumb characters and a dumb Terminator rip-off script don’t do the job.  If you’re looking for another movie to riff on with your friends, give this one a go.  Otherwise, move along.  Fred Olen Ray strikes again.

    Friday night, I finally got Ben to come over again, and we sat down to what I think is one of the crazier Godzilla movies, but which he thought wasn’t nearly as weird as Godzilla Vs. Mothra.  I guess he still hasn’t gotten over the discomfort caused by the Infant Island Fairies.

Invasion of the Astro-Monster:  The series goes full on Sci-fi with this rocket ship adventure film.  After two buddies travel to Planet X and discover some aliens hiding from King Ghidorah, they strike a bargain to lend Godzilla and Rodan to their defense.  You know, that old story.  I love the 60s rocket ship story, along with the always fun Ghidorah.  Plus, the story is just nuts.  And Fuji and Glenn are solid leads.  I’d have liked to see their continuing adventures.

    On Saturday, my lady and I traveled to DC once more, where we had brunch (that’s a thing I do now) at District Commons, which was pretty cool.  There was even some kind of sporting thing on the TV that I totally didn’t get.  But muscled people were running around and hanging on rings and such.  Then we walked to Georgetown, which I find to be a very pleasant place, even if the main drag is overcrowded with people who walk as slow as humanly possible.  And there we hit up the AMC theater to watch Lucy.  A lovely day.

Lucy:  This movie is pretty darned dumb, but it’s also kind of fun.  The very premise is laughable, and they never manage to sell it, as Morgan Freeman does his best to throw some 1950s movie science at you through awkward exposition.  But I’ve always enjoyed these ascendance stories.  I think it’s the Nietzschean in me.  Luc Besson is like Sam Raimi.  He hasn’t grown or evolved as a film maker in twenty years.  So the movie feels like a hodgepodge of his earlier work, mixed with elements of the cheesy action movies he’s produced over the years (Transporter, District B13, Kiss of the Dragon, etc.), even featuring the almost signature crappy techno music playing over the car chases.

The Flying Serpent:  Thank goodness this movie was less than an hour long.  This is the kind of thing that made Mystery Science Theater 3000 so good, but is kind of tough to watch on its own.  A bunch of bad actors do the various things it takes to move along a dumb plot.  The puppetry and flying footage of the titular serpent is surprisingly good considering the quality of the rest of the movie, but not so good as to be worth taking the time to see the film.

    The ending of vacations is always a bit sad.  But this was a good one, and I’m glad of it.  Up next, I definitely have to read Beasts of Burden, our next book club selection.  Maybe this week.  And I think I’ll be going to see Guardians of the Galaxy again.  Time will tell.

-Matthew J. Constantine