A Fistful of Lone Wolves! (Matt’s Picks)

    After watching Late Phases, and thinking about how cool Nick Damici is in the film, I figured I’d put together a fistful of Lone Wolves; folks who strike out on their own to take care of business.  There are a lot of really good ones, to be sure.  But these are five of my favorites.

5. Foxy Brown (Foxy Brown):  Foxy is tired of drugs, tired of corruption.  Nobody is going to keep her down, or locked in a shed.  A nasty, nasty movie, it puts the titular character through the wringer, but she comes through it.  And most of that blood she’s covered in isn’t hers.

4. Zatoichi (the Zatoichi film series):  A blind masseuse, Zatoichi just wants to be left to his own devices, enjoying a nice drink and some gambling.  But someone’s always gotta start something, and Ichi is there to finish it with a flick of his sword cane.

3. Dan Evans (3:10 to Yuma):  He can’t stand by and watch injustice.  Pushed too far, he stands against the mob to bring a bad man to proper justice.  He’s scared and nervous, but he’s going to get the job done.

2. John Matrix (Commando):  There’s an island full of bad men, and Matrix is gonna kill the hell out of every last one of them until he finds his kidnapped daughter.  Commando revels in violence in a way few films ever have, while being pretty darned funny along the way.  Let off some steam, kill Sully last, and have a Green Beret for breakfast.

1. Walker (Point Blank):  We’ve talked about Walker at great length on this blog, and I won’t go into much more.  He just wants his money.  And NOTHING is going to stop him from getting it.

-Matthew J. Constantine

Black Belt in Barstools

It seems like an unconscionably long time since we've mentioned Pam Grier here.  So, in the interests of public health, I recommend our readers consume 2 to 4 Pam Grier films in the next few days.  Foxy Brown, The Arena, Jackie Brown, Friday Foster, Greased Lightning... It's up to you.  Just do it.  You'll feel better.  I'll feel better.  It's just a good idea.

-Matt

Dork Hero: Pam Grier

I know we've talked a lot about her on this blog, but sometimes it's worth reminding folks how awesome Pam Grier is.  Today, on her birthday, I'm thankful for all the joy she has brought to me over the years.

Five Favorite Pam Grier Movies:
5) Hit Man
4) Friday Foster
3) Foxy Brown
2) Jackie Brown
1) Coffy


-Matt

Dork Art: Foxy Wonder

She's a whole lotta woman.  And this amazing mashup can be yours for just ten bucks.  Visit Miarenee Johnson's Etsy store HERE.

--Brad

A Fistful of Cabins! (Brad's Picks)

Drew Goddard & Joss Whedon's Cabin in the Woods attempts to pay homage while satirizing the horror genre, and it does a fine job with its jabs.  But it got ITMOD thinking about the Cabin setting...what are the five great lodges in cinema?  Where would you want to make your last stand against a horde of undead horror?

5.  Silverado:  Director Lawrence Kasden wanted to start off his grand, sweeping Western Epic in the tiniest of claustrophobic spaces, a splintering ramshackle cabin no bigger than most people's walk-in closets.  Soon bullets riddle the shack and cowboy Scott Glenn must spring into action, kicking open the door and revealing a gorgeous widescreen landscape.  Bruce Broughton's score erupts and the adventure begins!

4.  Rocky IV:  After big bad Ivan Drago breaks Rocky's BFF Apollo Creed, Sly Stallone has to travel to Mother Russia for the final showdown against communism.  But first, ol' Rocky's gotta do the training montage!  And where oh where will Rocky train while Drago is pumped with steroids by Soviet Scientists?  A remote lodge in some frozen wasteland!  There Rocky will grow a real serious beard, haul Paulie around like a sled dog, and chop oodles & boodles of fire wood.  But at least it looks warm in that cabin with Adrienne.

3.  Death Hunt:   Wrongfully accused of murder, troglodyte Charles Bronson fends for himself and his cabin while Canadian Mountie Lee Marvin tries to make sense of it all.  Grab all the pitchforks you want, I don't think you're getting in as long as Bronson's got his shotgun.

2.  Foxy Brown:  When you pose as a prostitute in an effort to avenge your boyfriend's murder things may not go as according to plan.  Sooner or later the frog madam may dump your ass in the rape shack.  I know what Dante had in mind for his Inferno,  but I believe he left off this nasty circle of hell as to not scare the tourists.  Sure, Pam Grier is a definite badass, but these backwards hicks get the best of her at the midway point of Foxy Brown and no matter how much brutality she eventually dishes out, the horrors of the shack cannot go unseen.

1.  The Evil Dead:  The cabin to end all cabins.  I don't think you'll find much disagreement on this matter.  Whatever genius splatstick comedy is found in Evil Dead II, I still argue that the best Deadite adventure is the lowbudget and genuine creepy scares of the original film.  Whether it's the thumping of the porch swing or the grabby trees in the woods, the next time you spend a night in a wooded dump you won't be thinking of Abe Lincoln's log cabin--you'll be thinking of Ash, and you'll be looking for a chainsaw.

--Brad

A Fistful of Names! (Brad's Picks)

So apparently boys won't go see a movie called "A Princess of Mars" and girls won't see a movie called "John Carter of Mars" so what we genre fans are left with is a potential sci-fi epic shoehorned with the innocuous title of just "John Carter."  So, shall we write it off?  Not so fast, there have been plenty of films plopped with bland Name titles that have ruled all kinds of crazy brilliance.  Here are five of my favorites.

5.  Rambo:  It had been twenty years between installments, but when Sly Stallone stepped behind the camera for the fourth entry in the Rambo saga he unleashed a beast of a film.  Vietnam Vet Rambo, John J has been hiding out in the jungles since his Afghanistan Commie War of the third film and was just waiting for a batch of wimpy Christian missionaries to get captured by psychotic Burmese despots so that he could spend 90 minutes of runtime butchering and machine gunning every baddie in sight.  Part IV is a bloodbursting exploration of pentup domestic rage and it puts a great big smile on this 80s Action Movie Junkie.

4.  Remo Williams:  Based on the adventure novel series The Destroyer, Remo Williams is an NYPDer who fakes his death to join ranks with Joel Gray's Korean zen Kung Fu master...yeah, you heard me right.  This is the goofy type of pretentious Do-Goodery that I just ate up as a kid and when he's fighting for CURE atop the Statue of Liberty in an effort to "preserve the Constitution by working outside of it" you'll be hollering for the good ol' days of Commie Smashing.

3.  Flash Gordon:  Speaking of goofy...Dino's Flash Gordon is the king of the smiley meat heads as he uses football to battle Ming The Merciless and save the planet Earth from total annihilation.  Along the way he scores with alien and reporters, crosses swords with Timothy Dalton and howls along with Brian Blessed.  Plus, Queen trumpets his every punch.  80s cheese at its finest.

2.  Foxy Brown:  Okay, not as badass as Coffy, but Foxy Brown wins in the realm of the iconic.  After her boyfriend is executed, Pam Grier becomes a prostitute to seek revenge against the drug dealing madame who put him in the ground.  Both Brown & Coffy give Grier perfect opportunities to show off her beautifully intense rage face, but her turnaround from that horror show shack in the woods in Brown is an amazingly cringy action set piece.  When she takes those two pervs out it's a violent crowd pleaser.

1.  Tom Horn:  Yep, I've been ranting & raving about Tom Horn a lot lately.  To see my love fully explored check out my Western Review over at cineAWESOME!  But it really is the quintessential West Gone By cowboy picture and Steve McQueen was never better than he was as the titular hero of this tragic tale.

--Brad

A Fistful of Colors! (Matt’s Picks)

Lord of the Wolves!

    With The Grey coming out this week, we thought we’d take a look at some of our favorite color related films. 

5.  Ultraviolet:  Because, honestly, when am I ever going to get to use this movie on another list?

Don't even think about taking Milla's lap-desk.

4.  The Bride With White Hair:  A cool ghost story from China, this movie features some powerfully strange stuff.  The always intriguing Brigitte Lin is good as the titular Bride.

3.  Black Samson:  The man has a lion.  A lion!

2.  Yellowbeard:  He’s a great, tall man with a big…yellow beard.  And he’s never more dangerous than when he’s dead.  When he’s not raping and pillaging, he’s burying treasure and waxing philosophical.  Stagger…stagger…crawl…Stagger…roll…

1.  Foxy Brown:  This movie rivals my love of Coffy, and is probably my second favorite Pam Grier movie (after Coffy and before Jackie Brown).

-Matt

Pam Grier. Lady. Badass.

The lovely Pam Grier made #5 on my list of sexiest actresses of all time and for plenty good reason.  Just found this interesting article about her.

-Matt