Another Two Fistfuls of Favorites! (Brad's Picks)

For the last two years, Matt & I have been constructing a list of our Favorite Films.  My personal Top Ten came to me quick & easy; those films have ranked as my all time favorites for several years.  My Top Twenty was a little tougher to crack, but I got their after minimal struggle.  However, formulating my Top Thirty Favorite Films was downright brutal.  A couple of them sprung to mind (#s 21 & 30 were obvious), but I spent several hours over the course of this week pursuing my DVD shelves, selecting & rejecting various movies for whatever reason.  I Love All Of These Films...and so much more.  I cannot guarantee you in a week, let alone a year, that this list will remain - How can The Monster Squad not be in my Top 30 Favorite Films!?!?!  That seems ridiculous to me, but a fact nonetheless.  So take the ranking below with a grain of salt.  I love 'em, but my confidence is not as strong as it was for Movies 1-20.

30.  King Kong (Merian C Cooper & Ernest B Shoedsack, 1933):  Monster movies, this is where it all began.  Frankly, I love all three versions of this movie, as well as the crappy sequels & the Hong Kong knockoffs.  King Kong is one of those rare movies (maybe the only movie) that I'd like to see remade every decade or so, and I find myself positively giddy over the upcoming Skull Island.  It's delightfully simplistic, and eternally relevant.  "It was beauty that killed the beast." This is the ultimate Man Fucks Over Nature story.  We see something beautiful, dangerous, AWEsome and we've gotta have it - even if that means destroying it in the process.  A terribly sad movie, but also one filled with wonder and exceptional cinematic craft.  No King Kong means no Ray Harryhausen, which means no Steven Speilberg, George Lucas, Joe Dante, etc - which means one crappy childhood for this guy.

29.  In The Mouth of Madness (John Carpenter, 1995):  This was the first Horror movie I ever saw in the theater.  Hellraiser was the film that sparked an interest in the genre, and that film led me to the works of Clive Barker & Stephen King.  I remember vividly when I caught the trailer for In The Mouth of Madness on TV, and the Stephen King namecheck immediately peaked an interest.  Who is Sutter Kane?  The concept of a world driven mad by Fiction, was both terrifying & infuriating.  It's a plot spit forth from the mouths of your parents, your teachers, your politicians.  Horror will rot your brain, kids.  Sam Neil has never been better, and his journey from dismissive suit to screaming believer is utterly unsettling.  He steps into frame thinking he's Fred MacMurray in Double Indemnity, a cocky insurance investigator bored of the game, but a "chance" encounter with an axe-wielding madman sends him scurrying down dark alleys populated by unnamable horrors.  If you're reading this blog post than you already know how this film had an impact on both Matt & myself.  It introduced me to John Carpenter & HP Lovecraft - after such an encounter how can one not become a full fledged horror fiend?

28.  Die Hard (John McTiernan, 1988):  There is simply no better action film.  A good, but flawed man fights his way through a slew of bad men in an effort to reunite with true love.  And all set to the backdrop of the Ho-Ho-Holidays.  The 1980s were bogged down with countless bloody shoot 'em ups, but few had as much charming character as Die Hard.  Bruce Willis is exceptional as the everyman.  He's fun, witty, goofy, and absolutely badass when he's got a gun in his hand.  Yipee Ki Yay for the Energizer Bunny, the man takes a beating and keeps on ticking.  After a half dozen sequels, it's hard to find excitement for the "regular Joe," but you can't hate on the studio for trying to recapture the magic of the original.

27.  The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (Wes Anderson, 2004):  As much as I enjoyed Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums, it was not until The Life Aquatic that Wes Anderson's mastery over his dollhouse filmmaking hit perfection.  Words like "quirky" and "whimsical" get tossed around a lot when discussing his films, and I find them to be frustratingly reductive.  Anderson does not wish to recreate reality.  He's not interested in Oscar Bait.  He strives for the artificial, for style, for the storybook.  But to say there's no truth in the artificial is absurd.  The Life Aquatic is layered in familial heartbreak.  Bill Murray is an artist soaked in despair, a man desperate to believe in fatherhood when the chance presents itself, but also incapable of expressing love.  Owen Wilson is equally adrift as the son in question, but manages to force himself into this gruesome adventure of oceanic revenge while deflecting the jealously of Zissou's crew.  Ultimately, The Life Aquatic is about getting beyond your emotional baggage, and accepting the imperfect people around you.

26.  The Professionals (Richard Brooks, 1966):  Last year, in the wake of The Lone Ranger, I put together a list of my Top 5 Favorite Westerns, and The Professionals ranked at number 4.  Well, as I warned above, I've changed my mind.  It now sits as my third favorite western & my 26th favorite movie.  Lists are stupid.  But I love them.  Ralph Bellamy's Texas tycoon hires Lee Marvin, Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan, & Woody Strode to charge down into Mexico to rescue his wife from Jack Palance's crazed revolutionary.  But as plot demands, things are not as simple as they seem.  I've spoken about it before, but perhaps the most stunning feat about The Professionals is Lancaster's ability to steal the show from Marvin.  His rapscallion is not so much an outlaw as he is a man who let his disgust for humanity crush his own morality, and the result is a gleaming devil worth rooting for.  Lee Marvin is simply a badass...he's great at being a badass, but it's also kinda expected.  The Professionals is certainly Lancaster's show, but there are few films with as strong a cast - each man (and one lady) gets their moment.  Imagine The Wild Bunch minus the grotesque i.e. violence as Adventure!

25.  Batman Begins (Christopher Nolan, 2005):  One of my many reoccurring rants around here is my stance against Superhero Origin movies - they're boring!  Been there, done that.  'nuff said.  So, why in the world is my all time favorite Comic Book movie an origin story???  Well, because in the 75 years of Batman's time on Earth, we've never been given the full story on Bruce Wayne.  Yep, before Batman Begins even the comic books only told a partial story.  Not to mention the fact that because we've had so many incarnations of Batman over the years, an origin story was actually a fresh approach to the character.  I love The Dark Knight, I dig Rises, and I even appreciate the Clooney travesty.  The Brave & The Bold and "Holy Adam West, Batman!"  But this is Bruce Wayne's story.  No other film comes close to that kind of human focus.  Plus, the way Nolan & Goyer snake the theme of fear through the story is outstanding.  A child's fear leads to his parents' murder, that fear becomes the child's armor, and that armor becomes Gotham's Knight, it's savior from the forces of darkness.  The first time I saw Batman Begins will go down as my All Time Favorite theatrical experience.  While attending the Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con, I was one of a lucky few who won tickets to see an advanced IMAX screening of Batman Begins.  I've never been more thrilled to be part of a crowd; several hundred nerds cheering, rooting, and screaming as the caped crusader finally got his story told proper.

24.  First Blood (Ted Kotchef, 1982):  The story of two generations of soldiers, the good war vs the bad war.  I know it's hard to imagine in this Expendables era, but once upon a time Sylvester Stallone was considered a Renaissance Man.  Before he got 'roided & sequeled out, Stallone made a career out of emotionally gripping character pieces.  First Blood was the last one...or at least, the last successful one.  A Vietnam vet wanders through town after discovering his last war buddy has died a lonely cancerous death.  A Korean War vet turned constable scoops him up, and attempts to shuffle him down the line so he may not soil the town scenery with his long dirty hair.  An act of disrespect that leads to rage-fueled domestic warfare that's as sad as it is understandable.  John Rambo began his career in cinema as a symbol for the lost, the disaffected, and the traumatized.  This is not the badass action film the sequels would eventually attempt.  First Blood is the story of hurt, and a damn fine one.

23.  Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1943):  I only saw this film for the first time six years ago.  "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine."  I'd seen all the clip shows, read all the critic's lists, and I thought I knew what Casablanca was.  Nope.  More often than not, classics are classics for a reason.  Humphrey Bogart is a lost American hiding from himself as much as the war when an old flame walks into his club, and causes all sorts of Nazi trouble.  Bogart is cold & cool in The Maltese Falcon, a cocky braggart in The Big Sleep, and the shlubbiest sadsack loser in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.  Rick, though, is Bogart's great performance.  He's a selfish jerk, a master of slick wit, a (self)forgotten patriot, and a doomed romantic.  If all you know is the soundbites, do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to one of The Great Movies.

22.  Robocop (Paul Verhoeven, 1987):  An action film, a gorehound's delight, a Frankenstein parable, and a painfully funny satire of 1980s consumerism.  Robocop is one of the strangest bits of outsider art to sneak into mainstream cinemas.  Peter Weller does Karloff proud as a man slaughtered by criminals, and butchered further by corporate scientists.  He's given very little to emote with (a facial slit & Mr Roboto body language), but the film succeeds thanks to Weller's ability to pull the humanity from the cyborg. Then you have Kurtwood Smith & his gang of goons.  Never has there been a better collection of psychopathic villainy.  Verhoeven revels in the monstrosity of man, he takes glee in showcasing the vile & despicable, and then he projects triumph through violence.  Politically correct?  Hell no!  It's cool though.

21.  2001 - A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968):  My experience with this movie is probably like a lot of folks my age.  At 15, I didn't "get it."  At 20, I thought I liked it until it went Beyond The Infinite.  At 25, seeing it for the first time on the Uptown's Big Screen, I was in awe of the cinematography and the pulsating soundtrack.  At 35, I worship it's attempts at understanding the question of man via science fiction & metaphor.  I don't claim to understand the Star Child any better than I did at 20, but maybe in another decade or so I will.  I certainly look forward to rewatch after rewatch.  2001 is a rare event, a film that evolves as you do.  You gotta cherish that.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (8/10/14-8/16/14)

Why hello there.  Miss me?  This has been one of the busiest summers of my life.  Traveling to France with my 93 year old grandfather so he could be showcased on Brian Williams' Journey To Normandy, road tripping to Memphis with The Wife, devouring my fourth San Diego Comic Con, and having just experienced my first ever Business Trip...to the glorious state of Ohio.  I've been ignoring you guys.  If you've been following my Twitter & Instagram accounts then you know that I haven't ceased on the cinema consumption.  But I have abandoned ITMOD.  Matt's been keeping the fire burning, but it's time for me to get back on board.  No more lazing about.

Yeah, that's right, I met Andy Serkis.  Just one of the many cool moments from this year's Comic Con.  That photo was taken around 1:00 AM in the Hall H Saturday Line.  Spent nearly 20 hours on the grass & concrete and was granted various strange encounters during the wait.  I wish I had slapped a post together about this year's Mega Dork Event, but I figure I'll just sprinkle in the relevant photos as we move through the rest of the year.  For right now, you'll just have to settle for a typical Week in Dork.  Of course, being stuck in Ohio away from friends and family meant that there really wasn't much to do other than go to the movies.  Every night I was in the West Chester AMC.  Not the widest selection of movies, so forgive me if I had to settle on a couple of stinkers.

Lucy:  The set up is dumb.  The execution is dumb.  The performances are often silly.  But I can't help but think the movie was one or two kickass sequences away from being a great film.  Scarlet Johansson is snatched off the streets of Taiwan by Korean gangster Min-sik Choi (Oldboy himself!), and for about fifteen minutes there is some genuinely uncomfortable terror at play as they pack her belly with bright blue super drugs & prepare to ship her across continents.  When rape turns to a beating, and the drugs burst inside her, Johansson is gifted with enough brainpower to join The Uncanny X-Men.  The Black Widow has a couple moments to Matrix it up, but before you know it her cranium needn't bother with roundhouse kicks or gun kata.  The film races to its climax as Lucy taps into the universe, and the film attempts to pass beyond Stanley Kubrick's infinite.  I dig the ambition.  However, the film is too quick, too slight, and too obvious to actually be good.  A solid attempt, but a swing and a miss.

The Purge - Anarchy:  Man, I rally want to love these Purge films.  The idea of a government sanctioned night of violence & debauchery is both ridiculous and rather terrifying.  Yet, these Purge films are just stupid bullshit (Ha! Put that on the poster, "Stupid Bullshit!" - In The Mouth of Dorkness), and worst of all they are boring.  The first film took the Kill Crazy Rampage plot & dulled it into a snoozer of a home invasion story.  The sequel thankfully expands on the universe by taking its characters to the streets, and introducing us to Frank Grillo's Punisher.  If the film had committed to a solo film for Grillo then just maybe we would have had an entertaining horror/actioner.  Instead we've got the usual stupid cliches bumping into each other and falling prey to the spooky masked folk.  Can they possibly get it right for the third outing?  I'll be there to judge.

On Wednesday night I went wandering the back roads of West Chester, Ohio.  Not much to see.  Found the hole in the wall shop Queen Comics & Card Company, and then stumbled upon a White Castle.  In my thirty four years on this planet, I had never had the pleasure of consuming Harold & Kumar's most desired slippery treat.  Now was the time.  I ordered the number 1 Slider combo with cheese and few extra packets of Dusseldorf Mustard.  The bun was greasy, the meat was gray, and the flavor was rank.  I guess I can see the appeal of these tiny burgers, but don't dare rank this drunk food alongside In-N-Out or Sonic Burger.

The Hundred Foot Journey:  After choking down the White Castle and drowning it down with a bucket of soda, The Wife & I synchronized our texts so that we both sat down for The Hundred Foot Journey at the exact same time.  No new ground here, but it was fun to watch this cute little film knowing my better half was enjoying it several states away.  The basic premise of two opposing cultures finding kinship via culinary perfection is scientifically proven to warm the heart.  With the added bonus of Helen Mirren there is no way you can come away hating this movie.  It's sweet.  That's enough.

Sex Tape:  This film pretty much exists to showcase Cameron Diaz's side boob.  It certainly doesn't succeed on the laughs.  Jason Segel better be careful or these slumming it paychecks will result in a career of barely passable comedies.  A bored married couple attempts to rekindle their spark by adapting the Joy of Sex via their plethora of product placement iPads.  Rob Lowe pops up to snort cocaine & bizarrely reference Disney movies.  Sure, I chuckled once or twice, but I mostly sunk deeper into my seat at the thought of Diaz's inevitable future blunders.

Let's Be Cops:  Well it doesn't get much better here.  At least with Let's Be Cops you have two leads with genuine chemistry.  Jake Johnson and Marlon Wayanes Jr are a couple of failing thirty somethings (don't know what that's like???) desperate to recapture their dreams of youth by playing dressup.  What starts off as a quick pickup line swiftly transforms into hardcore vigilantism.  This not-so-high-concept lets its plot get in the way of the funny as villainous gangsters cockblock the jokes, and Johnson & Wayans have their improv stifled by a who-gives-a-shit narrative.  If you laughed at the trailer then you got the gist.

A Most Wanted Man:  This one crept up on me.  On the surface, it's a rather routine bit of espionage in this post 9/11 world.  But as the script ekes out its plot, the futility of the situation reveals itself and the dread ratchets from disgust to outrage.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman is exceptionally quiet in the film.  "Subtle performance" is a term that gets bandied about quite a bit, but I can't describe Hoffman in a better manner.  His stillness, his tiny control over his physicality allows for a final scene that I found absolutely devastating.  The man was one of the greats.  It irritates and bums me out that we'll never get to see an Old Man Hoffman character.  He could have done a Touch of Evil to melt our faces.  Of all the films I watched in Ohio, this was my favorite.

The Infinity Revelation by Jim Starlin & Andy Smith:  A few weeks ago Marvel published a one-shot Thanos Annual from Starlin & artist Ron Lim as a means of previewing this Original Graphic Novel.  That single issue was a trippy mindbender in which an Infinity Gauntlet era Thanos traveled back in time to save his past self from the clutches of Mephisto, all done within the context of Thanos' current failings during Jonathan Hickman's Infinity event.  I LOVED THAT ISSUE.  It was wild, weird, and plunging in batshit Marvel continuity.  It had me totally pumped for this book.  Yet...The Infinity Revelation is not bad, but it is nowhere near as good as that floppy comic.  This story centers around Thanos attempting to reconnect with Death by recreating the universe in his image.  The trouble is that his arch rival Adam Warlock has to tagalong and pester him with mumbo jumbo philosophy.  After the joy of this summer's Guardians of the Galaxy, I have been all about Marvel's Cosmic Comics.  Some are good, some are great, and some are ok.  The Infinity Revelation falls somewhere in the top of the OK category.

First Blood:  "It can be confusing sometimes."  For Saturday night's Late Show, The Alamo Drafthouse had Stallone's first Rambo adventure on the big screen.  Not the silly killfest that the franchise would eventually become, First Blood is probably more relevant today then it was in 1982.  A traumatized Vietnam vet hitchhikes across America in an effort to reconnect with the men he served with during the war.  Brian Dennehy's Korean War veteran turned proud local sherif sees a longhaired vagrant and attempts to run him out of town.  PTSD flashbacks send Rambo into a frenzy and the damaged soldier makes a run for it after humiliating the chucklehead cops.  Dennehy can't take a hint so he escalates the situation into a small town apocalypse.  First Blood is another cinematic bandaid on the festering wound that was Vietnam War, but Stallone's John Rambo could easily be roaming the country today, attempting to bury the trauma of Mission Accomplished.  It's a tough movie.  A sad movie.  A great movie.  Do not dismiss it because of the later films' taglines.

--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork! (7/22/12-7/28/12)

Holy No-Life, Batman!  With The Wife vacationing in the Outer Banks with the family and me stuck back in the daily routine of The Job, I spent every free moment watching movies and reading comics.  This time, when The Wife was away, I focused on that other Expendable action star Sylvester Stallone.  Of course, I knocked out my two favorite Rambos and my four favorite Rockys but I also consumed a few other favorites.  I didn't bother hunting down the few Sly flicks I have yet to see (F.I.S.T., Paradise Alley, D-Tox) or the films I really cannot stand (Driven, Stop or My Mom Will Shoot).  Instead I filled in the remaining gaps with a couple of other films I've been meaning to devour...and, of course! Another hit of The Dark Knight Rises.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Batman - Under The Red Hood:  With The Joker's Robin beatdown, this flick earns its PG-13 rating right from the getgo. Bones crunch, blood splatters, a boy dies. And then you have the rest of the story. It's an action picture.  There's very little dialogue for the first half as the new Red Hood makes his play on Gotham's gangs. However, the appearances of distracting DC Universe characters like Amazo and even Ra's Al Ghul feels awkward in this noirish Gotham. It's a solid Bat-tale, but the real treat of the disc is the Joe Lansdale penned, Thomas Jane voiced, Jonah Hex short not-so-hidden as a special feature. In fifteen minutes it crushes and humiliates DC Animated's recent film adaptation.

Lockout:  "My old man was a big John Wayne fan." Guy Pearce puts on his best Snake Plisken voice for this John Carpenter wannabe, and despite a rather lackluster presentation, Lockout manages to entertain for those easily forgiving or desperate for try-hard 80s sci-fi action. We don't get a lot of movies like this these days, and even if we crave for Outlands and Escape From New Yorks sometimes we just have to settle for a Lockout. And Guy Pearce is fun.  After LA Confidential, there was a time when he could have been a true blue action lead. Definitely knows how to take and deliver punches.

Get The Gringo:  Ah, Mel Gibson. I wish you were not so damn crazy. Cuz as you get older and your craggily face gets more Lee Marvinized, there is a serious potential for you to take the Badass Mean Bastard roles that once belonged to Marvin, Charles Bronson, and Warren Oates. Get The Gringo never quite gets good, but there are hints of greatness when Gibson gets mean, shooting thugs in the back and tossing grenades indiscriminately. Hopefully his coming role in Machete Kills will take full advantage of this horrific nature.

First Blood:  "God Didn't Make Rambo..." Before it devolved into the action franchise explosionfest we came to know and love, First Blood was a brooding and sad saga of a Vietnam Vet drifting through the fringes of society. Wandering America in search of someone to share his trauma, John Rambo's unstoppable force meets Brian Dennehy's immovable object. All on account of a haircut, the small town, know-it-all sheriff pushes the disturbed soldier into a corner, unleashing years of kept rage. For all his Green Beret Medal of Honor kickassery, John Rambo yanks at the heartstrings during the fiery climax, and his final hate-filled scream speech puts a lump in the throat every time. First Blood remains one of my all time favorite films, and for those that think that Rambo is all crossbow & machine gun fire than they're not looking hard enough.

Cobra:  "Crime is a disease. Meet the cure." Sylvester Stallone is Marion "Cobra" Cobretti, head shooter for LA Law's zombie squad.  And when a cult of axe wielding biker goons start hacking and slashing the beautiful ladies Los Angeles it's up to The Italian Stallion to shoot first and ask questions later. Cobra is a perfect 80s action picture. Style over substance, blood over reason. Director George P. Cosmatos, a man responsible for several of my favorite genre classics (Of Unknown Origin, Leviathan, First Blood Part II, Tombstone), drenches the film in blood red 80s grime and delivers a badass and terrifying movie. Brian Thompson's Night Slasher still gives chills as he's sweating and sneering and spitting viscous venomous dialog--he's a monster! Too bad this never transformed into Sly's third franchise.

Rocky III:  Look. For me, the Rocky franchise doesn't even begin until the third film. Sure. Rocky 1 is some pretty good Oscar Bait, but Rocky 2 is a fairly boring rehash lacking any real kind of narrative direction despite the wannabe cameo acting of Joe Spinell. Rocky III, on the other hand, is where the glorious and insane decade that was the 1980s kicks off the Super Hero Blockbuster absurdity of rich boy Italian Stallion vs. the vile beast man, Clubber Lang aka Mr. "Pity The Fool!" T. When Rocky looses the title and mentor to the monster, he must turn to his drunk brother-in-law Paulie and his mortal enemy Apollo Creed to find the Eye of the Tiger and win back the heart of America. This is pure goofy joy entertainment and it's just a preview of the High Art that is Rocky IV.  To Be Continued...

District 9:  Neill Blomkamp takes an updated Alien Nation plot and delivers one of the best bits of sci-fi body horror allegory (you know, that tired old genre) ever produced. Sharlto Copley's Wikus Van De Merwe is a despicable, racist horror show that somehow transforms into an understandably tragic character. The CGI Prawns, especially proud papa Christopher Johnson, are easily my favorite aliens of the modern era. Not for the timid, as the climax races to its gory conclusion, bodies are exploding and popping all across Johannesburg as corporate soldiers of fortune go up against lightning guns and mech suits.

The Dark Knight Rises:  Went back for another round, but this time in pure glorious IMAX. And yeah, I highly recommend following suit in this format revolution. The six stories of massive James Bond action that opens the film is truly stunning; as the plane cracks open and Bane drops down the fuselage, I could not keep my jaw clamped. I only wish that every scene was shot in IMAX as the ratio switching was a little distracting.  But what do you think of the film, Brad? I definitely liked it more this time around. Again, it's hard to discuss without going into massive spoilers but I really dig the anti-Batman wrecking machine that is Tom Hardy's Bane and their physical battles are brutally and painfully epic in a very comic book kinda way. And there are at least three moments in the film that choke my geek heart with emotion. Yes, it's my least favorite of the three films but I do think it makes The Dark Knight an even better film and perfectly completes a Whole Batman story.  And calling it The Return of the Jedi of the series seems a little unfair.

The 39 Steps:  A humorous but often grim spy thriller from pre-Hollywood Alfred HItchcock, The 39 Steps is a classic wrong place, wrong time narrative in which Robert Donat's dashing Canadian flees England for Scotland after a female spy drops dead in his apartment. Chance encounters lead to deadly pursuits through fog soaked moors and the film is so dang charming with oddball bits of comedy peppered throughout the murderous shenanigans.

Rocky IV:  "If he dies, he dies." The most Epic entry in the franchise, Rocky IV pits the Italian Stallion against the towering Commie monster, Ivan Drago after his one-time nemesis Apollo Creed falls from Drago's iron fists. The film is busting at the seems with cartoonish 80s flourishes like Paulie's sweetheart robot and the earnest rock n roll montages but the tragic Las Vegas bout at the center of the film gives Rocky IV a genuine core of thrilling emotion. And the climactic East meets West battle is easily the most punishing and thrilling bout of the series.  You cannot think 1980s action without thinking of Rocky IV.  A classic.

Demolition Man:  "What's Your Boggle!" Sylvester Stallone's loose cannon cop (is there any other kind?) is wrongfully convicted of the manslaughter of a dozen hostages after Wesley Snipes's demented psychopath (is there any other kind?) drops a building on their heads. Sentenced to a cryo-prison, the two leads awaken in the very "Be Well" year of 2032 to discover a future of Taco Bells, mini-tunes, and seashells. Demolition Man is a goofy but fun, barely sci-fi action flick in which both Sly & Snipes deliver high octane performances with great heaps of scream acting. Sandra Bullock tags along as the yesteryear obsessed rookie cop, and it is kinda adorable how she squeals at Sly's brutish profanity and need for toilet paper. Demolition Man is pretty much the last hurrah of Sly's 80s action status, and Snipes seems more comfortable as the villain (and blonde) than he's ever been as a hero...not counting Blade 2 or Passenger 57.

Cliffhanger:  There really is nothing special about Renny Harlin's Cliffhanger other than the fact that it struggles to hold onto the the long gone hard R action esthetic of the 80s. But sometimes that's just enough for me to appreciate a time killer flick. Stallone is given plenty of opportunities to dispatch villainy using nameless terrorists as human sleds and bench press practice--watch out for those stalactites! Michael Rooker makes for a good sidekick, but he doesn't get the kills he deserves. John Lithgow reaches into his bag of Big Bad accents for a ridiculous turn as the sneering Eric Qualen, and his final helicopter boxing match with Stallone is cheery nonsense. Cliffhanger is fun but ultimately forgettable.

Rocky Balboa:  The Rocky franchise is Sylvester Stallone. He's directed four of the films and written all six. He's poured his soul into the character; he could never let the champ go even when he lacked narrative drive.  But he sends ol' Rock out on a glorious emotional high note. Parts III & IV are rip-roaring adventures in 80s iconography but the final Rocky Balboa returns to the pain and the heart experienced by the struggling athlete of the original. His true love has passed, all that Rocky has is his depressed boozer brother-in-law and his fame embarrassed son. He spends his days telling war stories to the diners at his restaurant and dreaming of his Once Upon A Time glory. When a CNN stunt expose draws him back into the ring, Rocky rediscovers his purpose as well as his family. Rocky Balboa is a shockingly emotional end to a sports saga I hold dear to my heart, which frankly, is amazing to discover for this wimpy film nerd.

Rambo:  The last fifteen minutes of the fourth Rambo installment is a kill crazy rampage of shocking brutality and copious gouts of gore that still managed to stun this audience member well onto his sixth viewing. And I love that it took Sylvester Stallone as director to bring the franchise to these epic levels of violence. It's easily the most simplistic entry in the saga; Rambo must venture into the dark heart of Burma to rescue some naive missionaries. That's it. Bing. Bang. WHA-BOOM! Stallone doesn't quite pluck the heartstrings in the same fashion as he did with his return to Rocky, but he does bring the character to a satisfying end. Sure, I want to see a fifth film where Rambo's rampaging through the U.S. or Mexico but if I'm left with Rambo butchering an army of genocidal maniacs? I'm happy. First Blood is a masterpiece, Rambo (IV) is just brilliant Grand Guigonol.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Richard Stark's Parker - The Score:  "Parker Had No Weapons On Him But His Hands..." After the brilliance of his Hunter & Outfit adaptations, I was not quite sure how Darwyn Cooke's take on The Score would pan out. The first two stories are mean, angry bits of brutality fueled by Parker's personal grudge against The Organization. The Score on the other hand is motivated by Parker's boredom and introduces a variety of crooks into the narrative, including the semi-humorous thief with a heart of gold, Grofield. But Cooke keeps the focus on the Copper Canyon heist, and his adaptation breezes by as a sweet score turns explosive. The Score is probably my least favorite of the three Parker adaptations but it's quick & punchy and our favorite professional shines in the business of the crime. The back of the book promises another story in 2013 and I cannot wait to see Cooke take Parker through The Handle.

Ragemoor #4: The saga of the living castle concludes! The origin of Ragemoor is explored thanks to some mad Bodrick ramblings, and Master Herbert refuses to hear the horror as he chases his revenge against the Poacher turned Bug Man, Tristano. Jan Strnad & Richard Corben deliver a beautifully gross love letter to Lovecraft & William Hope Hodgson and I’m sad to see it end. 4 issues was just not enough to fuel my thirst for skull headed baboons and human-bug birthing chambers.

X-O Manowar #3: Aric of Dacia has taken possession of the Armor of Shanhara! Time for endless green laser blasts and equally endless cockroach alien explosions! I love the concept of Conan The Barbarian meets a holy Iron Man; my only complaint is that the story rushes to put the characters into the modern era. Sure, sure, sure I guess we have to follow the pattern of the original 90s comic book but I would have much preferred to keep Aric rooted in history-taking that Manowar armor to Rome’s inevitable devestation. Still, curious to see how this time hopping business plays out.  And I hear Ninjak is coming....

Space Punisher #1: This is just silly. Set in an alternate Marvel Universe where Frank Castle pilots a starship across the galaxy looking for the “intergalactic mafia” responsible for his family’s murder, Space Punisher offers plenty of chuckles as our hero tortures a race of Venom-wrapped Brood baddies and vaporizes the Space Rhino. Look for guest spots from Cyclops’ daddy Corsair as well as barflys Thanos, Annialus, and Boba Fett. I don’t know if I could call this comic “good” but I’m gonna keep buying it cuz it’s just super silly and I dig the serious painterly style of artist Mark Texeira. And don’t forget, “In Space No One Can Hear You Die!”

Fatima – The Blood Spinners #2: Gilbert Hernandez gives us a little more plot and backstory with the second issue, but I’m less wrapped up in the story as I am in the horrifically ugly art—that’s not a negative! Almost every panel offers some new cringing horror and as Fatima puts her faith & heart into the hands of dreamboat Jody there is some seriously creepy foreboding in progress. The final two pages radically jump the story forward and I’m deeply curious as to where Hernandez is taking this freak show. But why do I always think of Futurama when reading this book?

Bloodshot #1: What I got from this latest Valiant reboot is that I have no memory of the orginal book. Crime writer Duane Swierczynski transforms Bloodshot into a tragic Source Code-esque hero with plenty of hyper real terrorist/government conspiracy mumbo jumbo and I’m not sure that I’m down with the story just yet, but thankfully I dig the strainy veiny bloody art of Manuel Garcia & Arturo Lozzi. I’m moving forward with this book but it fails to grab me in the same fashion that X-O Manowar did.

BPRD Hell on Earth – Exorcism:  Dang, I really dug this quick two-parter.  Much more than The Devil's Engine mini.  Agent Strode & the old man Ota go toe to toe with the demon and it’s a riveting battle that reaches from inner space to outer goat.  Mignola & Stewart have established a strong character in Strode and I’m excited by the letter page promise of her return in further BPRD adventures.

Hit-Girl #2: More of the same. I’m seriously only buying this book for John Romita Jr’s violent art. I just can’t muster up the energy to care for Mindy’s middle school plight or Kick-Ass’s super hero skill building. Especially knowing that this book takes place before Kick-Ass 2; what possible revelations could we be in store for?

Eternity: I know nothing about Kid Eternity. My comic shop said they dug this one-shot so I gave it a go. It’s alright, I guess. Basically, this kid coroner has the ability to reach into the spirit world and communicate with the dead. He solves crimes this way. And then the story ends on a cliffhanger. But will there be more? Maybe. Meh, I say.

Winter Soldier #8: I remember when I thought Ed Brubaker’s Captain America was the best book on the stands. But that feels like a long time ago. Sure, Winter Soldier is definitely better than what’s going on in the Cap book right now, but it still pales in comparison to Bru's former glory. The latest issue sees Black Widow brainwashed by the Sleeper Agent. And she’s doing ballet for some reason. Ok. But I want this book to be great. Brubaker, yer writing the best book on the stands right now (Fatale for those not in the know) and Winter Soldier deserves better than this.

Batman Incorporated #1: Holy Bat-Cow! I enjoyed the hell outta this first issue! Grant Morrison is rocking my world with his Batman saga. Thank you, sir! The first issue in the New 52 universe pretty much picks up just where Morrison’s last Batman Inc book left off. Talia Al Ghul’s terrorist organization, Leviathan has put out a hit on Robin The Boy Wonder and every mook in Gotham is gunning for the brat. The first issue focuses on a tangle with the sniper Goat Boy and his band of goat masked henchman as they butcher their way through a slaughterhouse. Chris Burnham’s art is beautifully grotesque (hmmmm, that must be my fetish now cuz I’m fascinated with gross and violent art these days…sicko) and the scene in which Robin slides through a pool of cow’s blood was at once nauseatingly disgusting and utterly badass. I am so excited to see where this book takes Batman. I’m guessing down some seriously demented corridors.

Batman Incorporated #2: The second issue pretty much focuses on the life of Talia Al Ghul: her relationship with her father, The Demon’s Head and her eventual takeover of his evil organization. Not quite the mindblowing action-fest that was the first issue but I seriously appreciate the rage and determination on display from the mother of Bruce Wayne’s child. Again, Morrison’s Batman has been one twisted journey. Now, can DC release the third book already!

The Sixth Gun Volume 3 - Bound:  The third volume in Cullen Bunn's weird Western is mostly setup, and it's a disappointing revelation when you reach the last page and there's a dozen new unanswered questions. But that's also a kinda fantastic problem to have. The Agents of General Hume attempt to rob Becky & Drake from their ancient weapons as Gord tries another act of revenge against those responsible for his family's murder. And it all has something to do with the mummy Asher Cobb and the badass priests known as The Sword of Abraham. But don't worry, the golem Billjohn is waiting in the wings to wreak a muddy punishment. The Sixth Gun remains one of the most fun books on the stands and I can no longer wait for trades to hit the bookshelves, time to dive into the singles.  

Saga #1-5:  Brian K Vaughan's Y The Last Man, Ex Machina, and Runaways are some of my very favorite modern comics.  So the promise of another epic but one rooted firmly in the sci-fi genre is quite exciting.  But the seemingly Romeo & Juliet conflict between the Wreaths & the Landfalls and the rather boring title kept me from diving in despite all my comic book buddies screaming at me to READ THIS BOOK.  Well, they were right.  It took the first two issues, but by the third I was hooked.  Vaughan seems to relish in profanity, nudity, and gore but once you and he get used to the flavor of the title, the fringe details like The Will assassin, his ex-lover The Stalk, and the TV Headed Prince will keep you flipping pages.  Vaughan has dabbled in some of these ideas before, but it's exciting to think where he will take this epic and when the climax of issue five pulls a very Robert Kirkmanesque character dispatch there's a promise of more shocking future discoveries.  

--Brad