A Fistful of Lone Wolves! (Matt’s Picks)

    After watching Late Phases, and thinking about how cool Nick Damici is in the film, I figured I’d put together a fistful of Lone Wolves; folks who strike out on their own to take care of business.  There are a lot of really good ones, to be sure.  But these are five of my favorites.

5. Foxy Brown (Foxy Brown):  Foxy is tired of drugs, tired of corruption.  Nobody is going to keep her down, or locked in a shed.  A nasty, nasty movie, it puts the titular character through the wringer, but she comes through it.  And most of that blood she’s covered in isn’t hers.

4. Zatoichi (the Zatoichi film series):  A blind masseuse, Zatoichi just wants to be left to his own devices, enjoying a nice drink and some gambling.  But someone’s always gotta start something, and Ichi is there to finish it with a flick of his sword cane.

3. Dan Evans (3:10 to Yuma):  He can’t stand by and watch injustice.  Pushed too far, he stands against the mob to bring a bad man to proper justice.  He’s scared and nervous, but he’s going to get the job done.

2. John Matrix (Commando):  There’s an island full of bad men, and Matrix is gonna kill the hell out of every last one of them until he finds his kidnapped daughter.  Commando revels in violence in a way few films ever have, while being pretty darned funny along the way.  Let off some steam, kill Sully last, and have a Green Beret for breakfast.

1. Walker (Point Blank):  We’ve talked about Walker at great length on this blog, and I won’t go into much more.  He just wants his money.  And NOTHING is going to stop him from getting it.

-Matthew J. Constantine

Another Two Fistfuls of Favorites! (Brad's Picks)

For the last two years, Matt & I have been constructing a list of our Favorite Films.  My personal Top Ten came to me quick & easy; those films have ranked as my all time favorites for several years.  My Top Twenty was a little tougher to crack, but I got their after minimal struggle.  However, formulating my Top Thirty Favorite Films was downright brutal.  A couple of them sprung to mind (#s 21 & 30 were obvious), but I spent several hours over the course of this week pursuing my DVD shelves, selecting & rejecting various movies for whatever reason.  I Love All Of These Films...and so much more.  I cannot guarantee you in a week, let alone a year, that this list will remain - How can The Monster Squad not be in my Top 30 Favorite Films!?!?!  That seems ridiculous to me, but a fact nonetheless.  So take the ranking below with a grain of salt.  I love 'em, but my confidence is not as strong as it was for Movies 1-20.

30.  King Kong (Merian C Cooper & Ernest B Shoedsack, 1933):  Monster movies, this is where it all began.  Frankly, I love all three versions of this movie, as well as the crappy sequels & the Hong Kong knockoffs.  King Kong is one of those rare movies (maybe the only movie) that I'd like to see remade every decade or so, and I find myself positively giddy over the upcoming Skull Island.  It's delightfully simplistic, and eternally relevant.  "It was beauty that killed the beast." This is the ultimate Man Fucks Over Nature story.  We see something beautiful, dangerous, AWEsome and we've gotta have it - even if that means destroying it in the process.  A terribly sad movie, but also one filled with wonder and exceptional cinematic craft.  No King Kong means no Ray Harryhausen, which means no Steven Speilberg, George Lucas, Joe Dante, etc - which means one crappy childhood for this guy.

29.  In The Mouth of Madness (John Carpenter, 1995):  This was the first Horror movie I ever saw in the theater.  Hellraiser was the film that sparked an interest in the genre, and that film led me to the works of Clive Barker & Stephen King.  I remember vividly when I caught the trailer for In The Mouth of Madness on TV, and the Stephen King namecheck immediately peaked an interest.  Who is Sutter Kane?  The concept of a world driven mad by Fiction, was both terrifying & infuriating.  It's a plot spit forth from the mouths of your parents, your teachers, your politicians.  Horror will rot your brain, kids.  Sam Neil has never been better, and his journey from dismissive suit to screaming believer is utterly unsettling.  He steps into frame thinking he's Fred MacMurray in Double Indemnity, a cocky insurance investigator bored of the game, but a "chance" encounter with an axe-wielding madman sends him scurrying down dark alleys populated by unnamable horrors.  If you're reading this blog post than you already know how this film had an impact on both Matt & myself.  It introduced me to John Carpenter & HP Lovecraft - after such an encounter how can one not become a full fledged horror fiend?

28.  Die Hard (John McTiernan, 1988):  There is simply no better action film.  A good, but flawed man fights his way through a slew of bad men in an effort to reunite with true love.  And all set to the backdrop of the Ho-Ho-Holidays.  The 1980s were bogged down with countless bloody shoot 'em ups, but few had as much charming character as Die Hard.  Bruce Willis is exceptional as the everyman.  He's fun, witty, goofy, and absolutely badass when he's got a gun in his hand.  Yipee Ki Yay for the Energizer Bunny, the man takes a beating and keeps on ticking.  After a half dozen sequels, it's hard to find excitement for the "regular Joe," but you can't hate on the studio for trying to recapture the magic of the original.

27.  The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (Wes Anderson, 2004):  As much as I enjoyed Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums, it was not until The Life Aquatic that Wes Anderson's mastery over his dollhouse filmmaking hit perfection.  Words like "quirky" and "whimsical" get tossed around a lot when discussing his films, and I find them to be frustratingly reductive.  Anderson does not wish to recreate reality.  He's not interested in Oscar Bait.  He strives for the artificial, for style, for the storybook.  But to say there's no truth in the artificial is absurd.  The Life Aquatic is layered in familial heartbreak.  Bill Murray is an artist soaked in despair, a man desperate to believe in fatherhood when the chance presents itself, but also incapable of expressing love.  Owen Wilson is equally adrift as the son in question, but manages to force himself into this gruesome adventure of oceanic revenge while deflecting the jealously of Zissou's crew.  Ultimately, The Life Aquatic is about getting beyond your emotional baggage, and accepting the imperfect people around you.

26.  The Professionals (Richard Brooks, 1966):  Last year, in the wake of The Lone Ranger, I put together a list of my Top 5 Favorite Westerns, and The Professionals ranked at number 4.  Well, as I warned above, I've changed my mind.  It now sits as my third favorite western & my 26th favorite movie.  Lists are stupid.  But I love them.  Ralph Bellamy's Texas tycoon hires Lee Marvin, Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan, & Woody Strode to charge down into Mexico to rescue his wife from Jack Palance's crazed revolutionary.  But as plot demands, things are not as simple as they seem.  I've spoken about it before, but perhaps the most stunning feat about The Professionals is Lancaster's ability to steal the show from Marvin.  His rapscallion is not so much an outlaw as he is a man who let his disgust for humanity crush his own morality, and the result is a gleaming devil worth rooting for.  Lee Marvin is simply a badass...he's great at being a badass, but it's also kinda expected.  The Professionals is certainly Lancaster's show, but there are few films with as strong a cast - each man (and one lady) gets their moment.  Imagine The Wild Bunch minus the grotesque i.e. violence as Adventure!

25.  Batman Begins (Christopher Nolan, 2005):  One of my many reoccurring rants around here is my stance against Superhero Origin movies - they're boring!  Been there, done that.  'nuff said.  So, why in the world is my all time favorite Comic Book movie an origin story???  Well, because in the 75 years of Batman's time on Earth, we've never been given the full story on Bruce Wayne.  Yep, before Batman Begins even the comic books only told a partial story.  Not to mention the fact that because we've had so many incarnations of Batman over the years, an origin story was actually a fresh approach to the character.  I love The Dark Knight, I dig Rises, and I even appreciate the Clooney travesty.  The Brave & The Bold and "Holy Adam West, Batman!"  But this is Bruce Wayne's story.  No other film comes close to that kind of human focus.  Plus, the way Nolan & Goyer snake the theme of fear through the story is outstanding.  A child's fear leads to his parents' murder, that fear becomes the child's armor, and that armor becomes Gotham's Knight, it's savior from the forces of darkness.  The first time I saw Batman Begins will go down as my All Time Favorite theatrical experience.  While attending the Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con, I was one of a lucky few who won tickets to see an advanced IMAX screening of Batman Begins.  I've never been more thrilled to be part of a crowd; several hundred nerds cheering, rooting, and screaming as the caped crusader finally got his story told proper.

24.  First Blood (Ted Kotchef, 1982):  The story of two generations of soldiers, the good war vs the bad war.  I know it's hard to imagine in this Expendables era, but once upon a time Sylvester Stallone was considered a Renaissance Man.  Before he got 'roided & sequeled out, Stallone made a career out of emotionally gripping character pieces.  First Blood was the last one...or at least, the last successful one.  A Vietnam vet wanders through town after discovering his last war buddy has died a lonely cancerous death.  A Korean War vet turned constable scoops him up, and attempts to shuffle him down the line so he may not soil the town scenery with his long dirty hair.  An act of disrespect that leads to rage-fueled domestic warfare that's as sad as it is understandable.  John Rambo began his career in cinema as a symbol for the lost, the disaffected, and the traumatized.  This is not the badass action film the sequels would eventually attempt.  First Blood is the story of hurt, and a damn fine one.

23.  Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1943):  I only saw this film for the first time six years ago.  "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine."  I'd seen all the clip shows, read all the critic's lists, and I thought I knew what Casablanca was.  Nope.  More often than not, classics are classics for a reason.  Humphrey Bogart is a lost American hiding from himself as much as the war when an old flame walks into his club, and causes all sorts of Nazi trouble.  Bogart is cold & cool in The Maltese Falcon, a cocky braggart in The Big Sleep, and the shlubbiest sadsack loser in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.  Rick, though, is Bogart's great performance.  He's a selfish jerk, a master of slick wit, a (self)forgotten patriot, and a doomed romantic.  If all you know is the soundbites, do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to one of The Great Movies.

22.  Robocop (Paul Verhoeven, 1987):  An action film, a gorehound's delight, a Frankenstein parable, and a painfully funny satire of 1980s consumerism.  Robocop is one of the strangest bits of outsider art to sneak into mainstream cinemas.  Peter Weller does Karloff proud as a man slaughtered by criminals, and butchered further by corporate scientists.  He's given very little to emote with (a facial slit & Mr Roboto body language), but the film succeeds thanks to Weller's ability to pull the humanity from the cyborg. Then you have Kurtwood Smith & his gang of goons.  Never has there been a better collection of psychopathic villainy.  Verhoeven revels in the monstrosity of man, he takes glee in showcasing the vile & despicable, and then he projects triumph through violence.  Politically correct?  Hell no!  It's cool though.

21.  2001 - A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968):  My experience with this movie is probably like a lot of folks my age.  At 15, I didn't "get it."  At 20, I thought I liked it until it went Beyond The Infinite.  At 25, seeing it for the first time on the Uptown's Big Screen, I was in awe of the cinematography and the pulsating soundtrack.  At 35, I worship it's attempts at understanding the question of man via science fiction & metaphor.  I don't claim to understand the Star Child any better than I did at 20, but maybe in another decade or so I will.  I certainly look forward to rewatch after rewatch.  2001 is a rare event, a film that evolves as you do.  You gotta cherish that.

--Brad

Matt’s Week in Dork! (2/9/14-2/15/14)

    This week started with something of a mini-vacation, and it was kind of awesome.  On Sunday, I saw Monuments Men with Ben and West Side Story with Brad and a group of friends.  Great.  On Monday, though, Brad and I went nuts.  We headed in to DC to visit Lee Marvin and Dashiell Hammett’s graves at Arlington, then walked over to the World War I monument, then the Martin Luther King monument, then on to the Air & Space museum to see the original model of the Enterprise from Star Trek.  The MLK monument was very cool.  And, I'm guessing because of its proximity, they've cleared the area around the WWI monument, so you can actually find it now.  That's a welcome change from the serious effort it took to uncover the right hidden path you used to have to take to find it.  From there, we headed over to Mad Hatter, the bar/restaurant on Connecticut for a delicious meal.  Then it was back to Brad’s for a movie (China Gate), and then off to the AFI Silver to see Point Blank on the big screen.  Awesome.  Feeling pretty darned devastated after such a busy day, I crashed hard and had a good sleep, only to get up Tuesday morning and head over the Cinema Arts to watch all the Oscar Nominated shorts.  Busy, busy couple of days.  My last few vacations have been a touch lackluster, but this one was darned fine right from the start.

The Monuments Men:  To me, the argument that saving art while war is raging was somehow unworthy is a lot like the argument that spending money on space science while people are starving is unworthy; short sighted and missing the point.  Art, literature, architecture; these are the ways in which we as a species achieve culture.  Culture is the only thing that separates us from wild animals, and I think it’s worth remembering, protecting, and sacrificing for.  It doesn’t lessen the cost of war.  It doesn’t cheapen life.  It gives life its meaning and a people their immortality.  We know the Egyptians through the works they left, we understand the struggles of the Renaissance through the art and literature those people left behind.  We have the United States Constitution because men thought to write it down.  All that is just to get out of my head some of my frustration about the ignorant and petty complaints about the movie’s very concept.  Besides that, these weren’t men being taken from the front line; they were guys who would otherwise not have taken an active role in the war, who ended up helping to defeat not just Hitler and the Nazis, but their very idea.  The movie itself feels like something of a throwback to the war/caper films of the 1950s.  I could easily see Gregory Peck, Lee Marvin, Anthony Quayle, Robert Shaw and others of that time stepping into the various roles.  As such, it’s a bit slower paced than many modern films, and perhaps a bit sentimental.  But I don’t think that’s a bad thing.  This is a movie that I’d watch as a companion to a viewing of Band of Brothers, The English Patient, Downfall, and Black Book.

West Side Story:  This is my favorite version of Romeo and Juliet…including the original.  The songs are good, colors are vibrant, and the actors are charming, if not always that great.  I like how it’s a grand, epic musical version of all those 50s ‘youth gone wild’ movies.  ‘Hell cats in hot pants,’ and all that.  Plus, there’s a lot of stuff about life as an immigrant, trying to blend into the established American tapestry, itself already a hodgepodge of various other ethnicities.  One of the better musicals, and one that I find myself enjoying more with each viewing.  Seeing it this time around on the big screen was a special treat.

China Gate:  That’s a whole lot of ugly.  Awful people root around in the bombed out ruins of pre-US involvement Vietnam, while the Chinese funnel weapons from Moscow.  The French Foreign Legion troops who feature in the film are all nasty customers, but the lead is the worst.  A horrible racist and a general scumbag.  And he’s ostensibly the film’s hero.  Though in truth, ‘half-cast’ Lucky Legs (Angie Dickinson) is the real hero.  Nasty business, brutal twists, horrible cruelty, and one heck of a climax, followed by one ugly action scene.  Nat King Cole also makes an appearance, and is really good.

Point Blank:  One of my favorite Tough Guy movies, this John Boorman experiment in crazy is so tough, so rough, so relentlessly nasty, I’m sure most viewers couldn’t handle it.  Lee Marvin plays Walker (a name switch for Richard Stark’s venerable badass Parker), a man who wants his money.  And he’s going to take down or out whoever he needs to in order to get his cut.  Filled with wild sequences, weird sound work, visual flourishes, and awesome character actors, it’s a movie you can’t unsee.  It’s not that they don’t make movies like this anymore.  They never made movies like this.

2014 Academy Award Nominated Animated Short Films:  The animated shorts for 2013 were a nice mix of style and content.  Disney’s retro-inspired Get a Horse is cute, but at the end of the day feels like something Warner Bros. would have done a decade back when trying to recapture old glory.  Room on the Broom took a bit to build, but won me over after I was initially put off by the animation style.  Feral was the most visually impressive and interesting, but I’ll admit, I kind of tuned out near the end.  I wanted to like it more than I did, and I’m not sure just how I’d have done it differently.  Mr. Hublot is cute, and the CGI Steampunk universe sure looks pretty.  It has some fun and clever gags and was a pleasant viewing.  I don’t think it will stay with me in the long run.  Possessions is tough for me.  On the one hand, I found technical aspects of the animation to be very irritating (what appeared to be a lot of separate, CG rendered 3D elements, moving stiffly, like a slightly more advanced version of old flash animations…or like models of people made out of folded card-stock, then stop motioned…only in CG).  But I liked the weird little Japanese mythology based story.  Actually, I liked the story a lot.  There were a couple honorable mentions shown along with the five nominees, and among those I found my favorite.  The Missing Scarf, narrated by George Takei, left me kind of thunderstruck.  It’s so funny, so uplifting and depressing, so simple, yet do darned complex.  It was a highlight of my short film filled day.  Pixar’s The Blue Umbrella felt more like a coffee commercial or something.  It looks good, sure.  But as far as stories go, it’s pretty dull and obvious.  If I just watched it, with no idea that it was a short film, I would assume at some point a product would be put in front of me, and I’d be told that I should buy it, be it the afore mentioned coffee, or a car, or a dating website.  And finally, they played A la Francaise, about a bunch of chickens at Versailles.  It had a couple funny gags, but was mostly just a head scratcher.

2014 Academy Award Nominated Live Action Short Films:  I can’t say I’m surprised, but these films seemed primarily in the vain of ‘we’re gonna make you feel really bad about life’/meaningful films.  One about a kid with a terminal illness, one about child soldiers, one about an abused woman.  In fact, only one of them was at all enjoyable to watch.  Now, I get that some people want to use art to make a point, to make people aware of ills in the world.  And I certainly wouldn’t begrudge them that.  Film is a great medium to discuss things like that.  OK.  But come on.  My favorite of the bunch was Pitaako Mun Kaikki Hoitaa?, if for no other reason than it was uplifting and didn’t make me think about slitting my wrists.  In fact, it was the only one of the films (despite clear attempts to manipulate my emotions in others) that brought tears to my eyes.  They were tears of laughter, but tears none the less.  I also liked The Voorman Problem, which was very well put together and put me in mind of old Outer Limits episodes or Ray Bradbury stories.  Helium feels somewhat cloying, like a Hallmark Channel movie.  Aquel No Era Yo was brutally depressing and goes to exactly the places you expect it to go.  Avant Que De Tout Perdre is very well put together and very tense, and I guess ultimately emotionally satisfying.  But it’s kind of lost among the depression.

    Tuesday night, I finished reading the second volume of Thor: God of Thunder.  Excellent series.  I’m very interested in seeing where they take it in the future.  Love the art, love the story.

Sweetwater:  Not at all the goofy, silly film I expected, this Western isn’t great, but it’s not bad.  A villainous, half-mad preacher is trying to set up his own kingdom, and he’s willing to crush anyone who doesn’t jump in line.  A crotchety old law man and a revenge fueled young wife have something to say about it, though.  I can’t get too excited about the film, but it’s not bad.  And if you’re in the mood for a different Western, it’s worth giving a watch.  January Jones doesn’t suck, too.  That’s kind of a shock.  Ed Harris is doing Jeff Bridges doing Rooster Cogburn.  OK.

The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box:  I enjoyed this little slice of Victorian (?) fantasy adventure, but it’s not particularly good.  The acting is fine.  The production looks fine.  The whole thing is fine.  But it doesn’t pop; it doesn’t capture the imagination.  Passable, but not noteworthy.

How I Live Now:  I had a hard time getting into this movie, in part because the lead character is such a snot, and I’m not fully satisfied with the ending.  However, excepting the very beginning and the very ending, it’s an excellent, beautifully shot film about surviving during a war.  It’s steeped in the all consuming, depressing fear of nuclear war that I grew up with, reminding me of stories and films, and imaginings of that era.  The countryside is beautiful, and it sets the horrors in that much more of a stark contrast.  It’s hard to say you enjoy a movie like this, because it’s pretty dark and depressing.  But this is a good take on the subject.  Not especially original, but well told.

    On Wednesday, the expected last day of my vacation, Brad and I headed out to visit Big Planet comics, and generally goof about.  At some point, it was decided that I would join him and mutual friend Darren at the Alamo for the new Robocop, a film I’ll admit, I wasn’t too interested in.  Still, a movie’s a movie.  And since the whole region was flipping out over an approaching snow storm, it was a nice place to get away from the raving panic.

Robocop (2014):  This doesn’t suck.  And that right there isn’t something I expected to be able to say.  Was it great?  No.  Did we need a Robocop remake?  No.  Should it have at least been rated R?  Of course.  But it wasn’t awful.  There were enough new elements to make it not completely pointless, but there wasn’t anything especially ground breaking.  I liked the soundtrack.

    The snow storm hit, and even this jaded Northerner had to admit, it was a lot of snow in a short time.  But, it was also really cold, so if you shoveled it early, it was easy as pie.  Later, it began to rain, and the melting process began.  Whatever the case, I ended up with an unexpected day of vacation, but was pretty groggy, and spent much of my day zoned out on the couch.

The Sentinel:  A horror movie very much of its time, with all the requisite parts.  Morally bankrupt men, an emotionally devastated female lead, uncomfortable sexuality, jarring music, Satan, a-hole cops, and so much more.  If you’re into 70s horror and don’t feel like watching The Exorcist, The Amityville Horror, The Omen, The Devil’s Rain, Susperia, or Rosemary’s Baby, well then, there’s this.  Lead Christina Raines is half way between Brooke Adams and Kate Jackson.  Not a bad actress, and very cute in that fresh-faced 70s starlet kind of way.  The movie?  It's OK, I guess.

The Haunting:  I’m not much of a haunted house fan, but this is one of the better entries in that particular horror staple.  The actors are good, the characters interestingly broken, and the lavish sets impressive.  I like the overall sense of Gothic dread, though it has few actual scares.  I don’t mean jumps, I mean scares.  Any movie can be jumpy, few get to the root of fear, and this one doesn’t.  Still, it’s a pretty good movie.

The Old Fairy Tale: When the Sun Was God (aka: Army of Valhalla):  This is a three part story; I’m assuming it was originally for TV.  It’s a mostly realistic Medieval epic about a corrupt prince stealing the throne, and the struggle of his people to set things right again.  There is a fantasy element, with some magic and occasional acts of gods, but overall, it’s fairly grounded.  The final episode suffers a lot from budgetary constraints.  The finale involves a building being on fire and some other stuff going on, which looks pretty bad and did kind of take me out of things, especially since it had looked pretty good up until then.  I liked the cast and a lot of the story, and think that for a ten year old television production from Poland, it looks pretty good.  Some technical issues and iffy use of music aside, it’s worth tracking down if you’re in the mood something set in pre-Christian Poland.

Flying Down to Rio:  While nowhere near as good as say, Singin’ in the Rain, this movie is a heck of a lot of fun.  And, being made in that magical pre-Code era, it’s delightfully naughty.  The sexual innuendo…if you can even call it innuendo, is wonderful.  Racy talk about fast living and having fun.  None of the prudishness of the 40s and 50s, the so called ‘good old days’ of separate beds, moms in the kitchens, and dads smoking their pipe while the kids watch TV.  These were dashing dandys and brassy dames, dancing, drinking, and getting into all kinds of…well, whatever it was, it was hotsy-totsy.

Ender’s Game:  This was a heck of a lot better than the trailer made out.  But it still wasn’t amazing.  It’s the kind of science fiction film I’d like to see a lot more of, but with more punch and less retread.  I know it’s based off a novel, but that novel was covering some old sci-fi ground when it came out (owing more than a little to Robert A. Heinlein’s Starship Troopers, among others).  The cast does a pretty good job, again, better than the trailer led me to believe.  And it does deal with some interesting ideas.  One major problem I’ve got with it is that it feels like the pilot episode of a series that I know didn’t get picked up.  It ends at the point I started to really engage.  I know there are the novels, but I’m not an Orson Scott Card fan, so I’m not likely to read them.  And the movie seems to have tanked, so we're not likely to see more.  Still, maybe this movie will pick up a certain cult following among younger viewers.  It’s got the potential.  Who can say?

Rain:  The cold, determined villainy of the religious fanatic, the hypocritical hollowness of the bellowing preacher, and the ill-fated desire to impose spiritual purity on others.  Dang.  This movie, is as relevant today as it was in 1932.  What the prudes would do with the imposition of the Hayes codes, what the prudes had recently done with Prohibition, what the prudes will normally get up to if they’re not fought at every turn.  Ruining joy and happiness for everyone who has it.  Joan Crawford is a fun loving party girl.  Yeah, she’s got troubles.  Her life wasn’t so good.  But now she’s finding pleasure and joy where she can.  She even meets a guy who’s A-OK with her, just as she is.  Well, wild-eyed preacher Alfred Davidson and his sycophantic lady friends can’t let that stand.  He’ll work every angle to break down this free spirit, destroy her life, and ruin her happiness.  I really liked this movie.  Love Joan Crawford and her story arc.  Love the message the movie sends and the middle finger it boldly flips at people who feel they have the right to impose their morality on others.  Also, Guy Kibbee is an especial treat as the bartender/innkeeper Joe Horn.  I’m sure I’ve seen this guy around, but he was so good in the role I’m gonna have to track down more of his work.

    And that’s about it.  But ‘it’ was pretty awesome.  Haven’t had that much fun packed into a week in a while.  I always like a trip in to DC.  Frankly, any trip makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, but walking around DC, even in the frigid cold, is very cool.  None of the claustrophobia I used to get in Boston (not to mention, it’s a hell of a lot cleaner).  Every time I go there, part of me wants to find a way to live there.  But I don’t see that happening any time soon.  Or while I’m single.  So, you know.  Ever.

-Matt

Brad's Two Weeks In Dork! (10/6/13-10/19/13)

Two Sundays back I spent all day aboard a plane flying across the Atlantic.  A quick whirlwind trip to Germany to see my cousin wed in the Black Forest.  A joyous time was had by all.  The flight back on the other hand?  A tight bus filled with rambunctious tourists jittery with anticipation of New York City tourism.  I decided to loose myself in United Airlines' movie selection.  An 8 hour flight quickly transformed into a 5 film marathon...5 films I carefully selected.  I only want to watch movies on a plane that I would never in a million years watch in a theater or my own television set.  I think I chose wisely.  They certainly distracted me from all the pent up energy erupting from my fellow travelers.

When I landed back in the States it was time to finally finish the Breaking Bad saga, the latest Stephen King, and crack into some appropriate October movie watching.  Earlier this year I was obsessing over They Live, and it's finally sparked me to blitz through John Carpenter's entire career.  Unlike my Scorsese-A-Thon (which I will get back to soon enough), I'm already well-versed in the horror-meister's career.  These are the films that shaped little Brad into the genre freak he is today.  That being said, I wanted to tackle his film canon in reverse order due to the simple fact that I would much rather end on Dark Star than the painfully boring cliche that is The Ward.

John Carpenter's later career is not all garbage, it's simply a pale shadow of his younger glory.  The Ward, Ghosts of Mars, Vampires, Escape From LA, Village of the Damned...I certainly enjoyed watching them this time around, you you can find plenty of good bits, but they only underscore the disappointment of their overall rubbish screenplays.  Then there is In The Mouth Of Madness.  Obviously, we here at ITMOD, hold this film in rather high regard.  It's Carpenter's final masterpiece and an essential entry in Sam Neil's career.  Jurassic Park, Sirens, Dead Calm - naw man, it's all about In The Mouth Of Madness.

Now You See Me:  The general premise of a gang of street magicians pilfering from the rich to give to the poor sounds like a lot of fun, especially when the Robin Hoods are played by Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Isla Fisher, Dave Franco with Mark Ruffalo, Melanie Laurent, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman hot on their trail.  Dang. That really is a hell of a cast. But Transporter director Louis Leterrier doesn't seem to care or even understand the appeal of the slight of hand; he would rather bombard us with cheap pop-up CGI. The film is certainly missing some razzle dazzle. Not the worst thing in the world, but I'm curious as to what exactly drew these actors to this project in the first place. Just a paycheck? I'm betting the original screenplay by Boaz Yakin, Edward Ricourt, Josh Applebaum, Andre Nemec, Ed Solomon...hmmmmm...I think I see the problem here. Who knows what the original intent of Now You See Me was, or what attracted the players, but this looks like a case of too many bored cooks in the kitchen.

The Heat:  This movie is not funny. The jokes are stupid, obvious, and as fresh as Nick Nolte's drawers. Sandra Bullock plays Miss Congeniality, a stiff, know-it-all fed who can't make it in a man's world because she's too busy being a smug bitch. Melissa McCarthy is fat. Isn't that hilarious? She can't get out of car doors!!! Hardy Har Har! These Loose Cannons might as well have 48 Hours to get all Lethal Weapon on some Red Heat or they'll be stuck Running Scared from Turner, Hooch, Tango, & Cash. If you're looking for some actual laughs mining the same nostalgia than may I suggest The Other Guys or Hot Fuzz.

Monsters University:  Cute. Clever. Slight. This Pixar prequel is a good enough way to kill 90 minutes, but when compared with the studios shining stars (Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Up) or even its solid gold (Toy Story, A Bug's Life, Wall E) than "meh" can be your only critique. The Monsters Inc characters are fun enough, and the voice talent is strong, but I feel very little heart in their relationships. As with Cars, I see more opportunity in merchandising.

The Host:  Certainly one of the worst films of the year, but should any of us be surprised when this manipulative teen dreck comes from the dustbin brainpan of Stephanie Meyer? No. But I do expect more from director Andrew Niccol, the man who brought us underrated gems like Gattaca and Lord of War. I'm sure he was initially attracted to the Invasion of the Body Snatchers premise in which alien Souls (ick, really?) are transplanted into hapless human hosts, but this puppet master conceit is dumped in an attempt to force passionless polygamy romance down our throats. Saoirse Ronan is an actress I generally like (Atonement, Hana, even The Lovely Bones), but her alien Wanderer (ick, really? REALLY?) is an abysmal attempt at split personality and often results in cringing internal bickering. Love interests Max Irons & Jake Abel are a couple of lunkheads not worth the time it takes to finish this sentence. I will say that adult actors William Hurt & Diane Kruger are solid even when the screenplay their trapped within attempts to strangle out their quality. That's a win.

Harry Dean Stanton - Partly Fiction:  If you love movies than you love Harry Dean Stanton. The man has mastered the bit part excelling in films as diverse as Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid, Hud, Alien, Repo Man, Wild At Heart, The Last Temptation of Christ, and The Avengers. Wim Wenders & Sam Shepherd produced his ultimate performance as the wandering heartsick Travis Henderson in Paris, Texas and it ranks as one of my very favorite movies. The actor is a notorious lover of women and sampler of narcotics. His days & nights with Jack Nicholson are legendary in Hollywood Babylon. Does this documentary explore any of that? Not really. Stanton philosophizes, smokes, and takes the praise given him by other iconic filmmakers. It's a fascinating watch that scratches the surface of the man, but never quite breaks through. It's probably for the best, but I could have watched at least three more hours of Stanton zen out on nothingness.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake):  With the exception of the latest entry (not all the 3D in the world could have saved that mess), I really do enjoy every segment of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. The original film is a flawless masterpiece in terror cinema, and its sequels, remakes, and prequels all offer enough gruesome gore or oddball horror to keep my sickie heart satisfied. Marcus Nispel's sequel wins a lot of points for nabbing original DP Daniel Perl for this modern day makeover, and the result is a stylishly thick entertainment that revels in the filth of the American West. In an about-face from the original film, Nispel is gleeful in his depictions of bloody, sweaty meat as well as the grotesquery of the chainsaw wielding perpetrators. Jessica Biel is little more than a jiggly tank-top, but she gets miles out of the mud, muck, and rain she jostles through. R Lee Ermy makes as much use of his sheriff's hat as Biel does with her wet tee, furrowing his brow, popping out those Dumbo ears, and twitching a stare from the shadows. He's as much a beast as Leatherface. Nothing will ever touch the original, but if you can get off your "Blasphemous Remakes!" high horse than you might enjoy some of this style over substance.

The Ward:  Amber Heard runs through the forest wearing nothing but a nightie. She reaches a house, lights a match, and waits for the cops to drag her crazy ass to the nuthouse. Of course, she has no memory of anything before the fire. It's up to her psychiatrist, Jared Harris, to open her mind and free her from the nightmarish visions of a worm riddled specter. John Carpenter's latest and possibly final film (he ain't getting any younger folks) is disappointingly dull, but there are strong performances from the loony bin players. Unfortunately, nearly all of the spooky stuff falls flat. When the film isn't bothered with creaking doors and jump-scares it's engaging enough. Heck, Heard is a stronger Final Girl than Jaime Lee Curtis in Halloween - the chick can swing an axe with the best of them - but she's saddled with a dead-end script & a groaning twist of a climax.

Masters of Horror - Pro Life:  Given a real budget and a cast upgrade (of course, you gotta keep Ron Perlman), John Carpenter's Masters of Horror episode could have been a hellishly painful bit of social horror. As is, it's a solid entry in the anthology series hindered by some flat cinematography and even flatter performances from the doctors on staff. Still, it's a beast of an idea. A woman flees into an abortion clinic seeking asylum from her religious zealot father, and a fix for the demon growing in her belly. Not easy material, and I give credit to the screenplay for not mocking either viewpoints. Pro-Life is certainly not the kind of social horror movie we're seeing on the big screen these days.

Masters of Horror - Cigarette Burns:  "Some films are meant to be seen." Norman Reedus is hired by Udo Kier to hunt down the last remaining print of a supposedly haunted film that played once and resulted in a movie house massacre. I'm a sucker for this kinda stuff. A mini mixture of The Ninth Gate & 8MM with a strong emphasis on KNB gore. Reedus & Kier are great together, and the bit in which Kier introduces Reedus to the props & extras of La Fin Absolue du Monde is certainly shiver inducing. Ice cubes, white faces, and a quivering voice = creeeepy. I was a struggling witness to Showtime's Masters of Horror, but I think John Carpenter was one of the more successful helmsmen to squeeze blood from the stone. Again, I think there is an even stronger cinematic experience in this screenplay, but I doubt we will ever be gifted that experience.

Ghosts of Mars:  John Carpenter is no stranger to the remake. He successfully updated The Thing From Another World, and did his darndest with Village of the Damned (see below). In the late 90s he even remade his own films: Escape From New York into Escape From LA, and Assault on Precinct 13 into Ghosts of Mars. Curious. Neither are as strong as their source material, but if your brain isn't immediately closed to the notion, both films offer moments of B-Movie jalopy enthusiasm. Carpenter desperately wants to be Howard Hawks, finding his Duke this time in the emotionless Natasha Henstridge. Yeah, she's the worst. Watching her match tough with Ice Cube's uber macho Desolation Williams is embarrassing, and I had to turn awkwardly away from the screen during a couple of her D.O.A. line delivers. Still, I dig Ice Cube. He's a goof, and certainly not as badass or cool as Darwin Joston's Napolean Wilson, but the man can stick his landing with a terrible catchphrase - "COME ON, YOU MINDLESS MOTHERFUCKERS!" Ghosts of Mars has a paper-thin plot involving an evil Martian ghost cloud infecting colonists, and transforming them into screaming Hot Topic metal heads, but it's all just an excuse to dismember, disembowel, and decapitate. Not the pinnacle of John Carpenter's career, but certainly not the nadir (tune in next week!).

Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home:  The genius of the fourth film in the franchise is its nearly plotless screenplay. There's this probe from someplace, it's looking for whales for some reason, and if the USS Enterprise doesn't travel back in time to steal a couple of beasties then the world will be destroyed by some crazy amount of probe energy. Whatever. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that our favorite characters are dropped into the past (the 1980s), and give us a good ribbing for all the stupidity we produce. Everyone gets something to do - Chekov & Uhura hunt for nuclear wessels, Scotty & Bones build a fish tank, Sulu snags a helicopter, and Kirk & Spock contemplate colorful metaphors. The Voyage Home is simply a good time at the movies for both Trekkies & the ignorant. On this millionth viewing, Deforest Kelley seems to step away as the MVP. His friendly harassment of Spock, the snarky glares towards Scotty, and the climactic hospital assault highlight the good doctor as the ultimate lovable bastard. The Voyage Home is just a series of gags. Sure, they're saving the Earth, but it's all just an excuse for Kirk & Co to baffle their way through our pop culture. Science Fiction as Belittlement.

Vampires:  "Don't make me come over there and beat the shit out of you, padre." James Woods saves this movie. He's a monstrous bastard of a human being tasked by the Catholic Church to hunt down and destroy vampires, but that just seems to be an excuse for him to beat women and cut on mewling priests. He enjoys his job, and it's uncomfortable to watch. He reminds me very much of a Sam Peckinpah hero. He's the good guy because the camera follows him, but his actions (and words) are utterly deplorable. After a poisonous bite on the thigh, Sheryl Lee is brutalized by our God fearing warriors. Slapped, beaten, berated, and humiliated. Totally un-PC and often painful to witness. James Woods is not the white hat hero, he's a scumbag who enjoys his job a little too much, and he just happens to be saving the world in the process. John Carpenter's Vampires is not a great movie, or even a particularly good one. But it is certainly an oddity, with characters lifted outta time, and jammed down our good taste. Who cares if this Dirty Dozen slays Thomas Ian Griffith's continuously snarling Master or not?  It's all about their wave of destruction.

Doctor Sleep by Stephen King:  A sequel to The Shining.  Does that sound like a good idea?  Not to me it didn't.  A couple years back, when I saw King at the George Mason Fall For The Books, he read a passage from this book that dealt with a caravan of psychic vampires, but never once mentioned young Danny Torrence of the original terrifying novel.  I scratched my head and waited.  Well, the day is finally here.  Danny Torrence is now Dan Torrence, also known as Doctor Sleep, a recovering alcoholic helping the residents of the Helen Rivington House pass peacefully to the other side.  He soon becomes aware of a little girl gifted with The Shining who has fallen into the crosshairs of those aforementioned psychic vampires.  Doctor Sleep is one of those classic page turners we've come to expect from King, and there are hints of that original ick that made the first book so damn compelling. But at the end of the day, I have to ask, why revisit Danny?  The Overlook turned him into a pathetic mess of a human being (no surprise there) and I guess Doctor Sleep gives a little closure to that character doomed by his father's haunted madness.  It's fun enough for the fanboy, but it's certainly not revelatory.

Shack Out On 101:  "You are my heart, but I'd cut you out if you were a traitor!" An exceptional, forgotten gem of Cold War cinema. Terry Moore is a proud American waitress fending herself from the affection of Lee Marvin's slobby mean bastard as well as Keenan Wynn's desperate sadsack proprietor. When she catches wind that her scientist boyfriend (the painfully dull Frank Lovejoy - come on Terry, get with the Wynn!) might be trading secrets with the reds, the tiny food shack on the side of the road becomes the final battleground for American Liberty. Never has a short order cook been as creepy or as demented as Lee Marvin; this bear in human form ranks right up there with his Big Heat heavy. Edward & Mildred Dein deliver a crackerjack screenplay with witty, biting repartee between all the film's combatants. I'm honestly shocked that I had never heard of this film before, but I'm thankful that Olive Films had the brains to finally bring Shack Out on 101 to blu ray. Certainly one of the best films I've discovered this year.

Escape From LA:  "This town loves a winner." A sequel as remake, or a remake as sequel? Whatever the case, John Carpenter & Kurt Russell try to recapture that Snake Plissken magic in this beat-for-beat retelling of one of the 80s most enjoyable dystopian adventures. Russell certainly still knows how to Eastwood his voice, and I even dig some of the rare additions (Bruce Campbell's Surgeon General of Beverly Hills), but Pam Grier is no Harry Dean Stanton, Stacey Keach is no Lee Van Cleef, and Georges Corraface is certainly no Isaac Hayes. I would really love to know why Carpenter & crew went for the remake approach instead of breaking out into an original narrative - If it ain't broke, don't fix it? I guess. I don't hate on this film like some, and it's certainly interesting from an experiment perspective (think of an even less successful Psycho retread), but the world certainly deserved a better Snake Escape.

The Benson Interruption of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre:  "We're the smell it & touch it kids!"  This was a fascinating experience.  I'm not sure what I was expecting from Mr. Doug Loves Movies.  Something akin to Mystery Science Theater but with more pot jokes.  When we got to The Alamo Draft House, The Wife & I discovered that our seats were directly next to Benson.  He had his coat over The Wife's seat and said it was his - that "they" were supposed to reserve it for him.  Oh, no problem, we just scooched over.  A little awkward, but no big deal.  Eavesdropping, we could tell that Benson & Graham Elwood were none too pleased with the One Loudon crew.  There was a drink mixup apparently and they bitched about the seat reservations for a little bit.  When the show finally started, neither of the comedians seemed that into the experience.  Mostly they sat back and watched the film, piping in here & there with a few cracks.  A couple of times Benson turned to me and asked a questions about the Texas Chainsaw franchise as I had quickly established myself as the Horror Geek in the front row.  Hopefully that makes it into the mini episode as he was recoding the show with his iphone.  I guess that was cool.

Village of the Damned (Remake):  This movie is not bad. It's just frustratingly dull. The town of Midwich experiences a mass fainting spell, and when they awake their women have been seeded with white haired, emotionless, telekinetic assholes. Christopher Reeve is the small town doctor burdened with a child he does not hate nearly enough. Kirstie Alley is the tight lipped government drone who spouts monosyllabic exposition. Mark Hamill is the bible thumper gone rifleman nutjob at the very notion of alien life. Maybe if just one of these actors expressed just an ounce of disturbance at the cataclysm destroying their town then we as an audience could muster up the energy to give a damn. Sadly, it's a snooze.

Drive Angry:  "Why does everyone keep hurting me?" Just an absolutely greasy gross bit of exploitation trash cinema that so many nostalgia-fests these days seem to fall short of, Patrick Lussier's blood, bullets, & octane adventure makes no apologies for its absurdity, violence, and all around dark attitude. In tiptop mega-acting form, Nicholas Cage escapes from the prison gates of hell to hunt down and butcher the cult leader responsible for his daughter's gory demise. Billy Burke is that evil sick bastard, and he relishes his femur blade wielding baddie with almost as much sick pleasure as Cage's demon dog. Amber Heard proves she's more than just a pretty face, having as much fun as the boys with her too tough obscenities, and god-killer decimations. But the real standout here is William Fichtner's Accountant. I'm all giggles when Ficthner sniffs waitresses, messes with stoners, & Sunshine Bands his way through a police barricade. It's easy to see the 70s filth inspiration (Race With The Devil & The Devil's Rain immediately spring to mind), but Drive Angry manages to be its own thing thanks to its bottom feeder morality and self-acknowledged silliness. Too bad the rest of America wasn't hip to its Meatloaf charm.

Breaking Bad - The Final Season:  For the last month, I've been scrambling to catch up with Walter White and his decent into pure evil.  I've enjoyed this show, but by no means, did I consider it the best television program in the history of the medium.  That's still Deadwood & The Wire.  However, I have to admit that this final season was certainly the most tense experience I've witnessed on the small screen.  The build up to Hank & Walt's disastrous confrontation was both heart-thumping and heart-breaking.  It really doesn't get much better than the "Ozymandias" episode...or more painful.  And that's the appeal of Breaking Bad.  Has there ever been a storyarc this unflinching as it depicted the birth of a super criminal?  Not on TV.  Rarely in the movies.  This is the stuff of Richard Stark.  Elmore Leonard.  Mario Puzo.  There is very little sugar coating, certainly no happy endings.  Walt's pride glimpsed from the very first episode eventually transformed his story into an epic bit of Shakespearean tragedy.  Those rooting for this meth cook asshole should be ashamed; for me Breaking Bad is all about Hank's ascension to Hero Cop and the torture of Jesse Pinkman.  Put those guys in your Facebook banners.

Pacific Rim:  The moments when Pacific Rim is nothing more than an animated orgy of Kaiju smackdowns fills this perpetual child with ridiculous amounts of monster movie glee. The penultimate versus match between Gipsy Danger and the Leatherback/Otachi tag team gets the fist pumping - SWORD!!!!!! Totally Mecha Badass! Unfortunately, nearly every moment outside of the cartoon is dullsville. I just do not care about all the unnecessary conflict written into the Jaeger Pilot plotlines. My brother died, my daddy doesn't love me like he loves you, my Idris Alba doesn't trust me with his robots. All aboard the Boo-Hoo-Choo-Choo! Screenwriter Travis Beacham has certainly watched Top Gun a few too many times. I really wish Guillermo Del Toro had squeezed more of the Kaiju black market into the story, or further explored the alien dimension briefly glanced at the climax.  Still, robots punching monsters?  That's just fun.

Gravity:  "I hate space." It's hard to go into a movie you've been reading about for nearly five years without some level of expectation. I am a big, big, big fan of Alfonso Cuaron's Children of Men & Y Tu Mama Tambien and the idea of him tackling a NASA space mission gone wrong (going OCD with his obsessively long takes) was incredibly appealing. I remember breathing a sigh of relief when the cast went from Robert Downey Jr & Scarlet Johansson to George Clooney & Sandra Bullock. Bullock may not be my favorite actress in the world, but she certainly seems more NASA than Johansson. Then I saw the trailer - Bullock floating around for 90 minutes - I lost a little interest, and I practically had to force myself into the theater. After all, I had already seen Open Water. I lot of whining and fear crying. "In space no one can make you give a crap." Ok, so obviously I was carrying some baggage into the movie. So what do I actually think of Gravity? I think Cuaron is a masterful craftsman, and this is the only film in recent years where I thought the IMAX 3D actually benefited the story.  There there are several times in this film where the 3D accentuated the infinite blackness or attributed to the weightlessness. Bullock is solid. But I did not care for her dead kid storyline or whether she could accept death or not. I also did not like Clooney's storytelling astronaut; his bravado rang false in my ears and his dialog seemed to exist just to fill up the 90 minute run time. At times I enjoyed Steven Prince's thrumming score, but at other moments I felt like it committed the very worst of John Williams's ham-fisted manipulation. Gravity is a good enough time, but it's certainly not a film I'm rushing to ever see again.

In The Mouth of Madness:  "I am not a piece of fiction!" The last great film of John Carpenter, In The Mouth of Madness also manages to be an essential experience for fans of HP Lovecraft without actually adapting the horror icon's work. Sam Neil is John Trent, an insurance investigator brought in by Bernie Casey to debunk Charlton Heston's claim of the missing million dollar literary institution, Sutter Cane. Think Stephen King, but better selling and literally infectious. Neil & editor Julie Carmen track the author's god complex to the sleepy New Hampshire town of Hobb's End where they encounter dog butchering children, tentacled motel clerks, and your basic army of unspeakable evil. The mid nineties were an abominable time for horror fans, but somehow the genre master managed to crank out one last great hurrah with Madness. Kudos to Carpenter, but I think Sam Neil must take most of the credit for his exceptional portrayal of a crumbling reality. Has there ever been a nastier, more bent explosion of laughter than the gut buster seen at the end credits? I think not.

Machete Kills:  "Machete loves everybody."  Yeah, well, I don't love Machete.  What the hell happened to Robert Rodriguez?  Desperado & From Dusk Till Dawn - those are a couple of thoroughly enjoyable blood & guts action romps.  But the director has lost himself in his one-man-show approach to filmmaking.  We get it, you can do all your crappy effects on your laptop.  The endless stream of CG blood & gunfire just makes Machete Kills look like a crappy SyFy Channel knockoff.  I'll take a dozen Piranhanacondas over this tired mess.  There might have been a little fun mined in Grindhouse & the first Machete, but this sequel plays like an MTV Movie Awards skit dragged on too long.  Charlie Sheen...Mel Gibson...I know you don't have anywhere else to go, but you should have stayed away from this dreck.  Danny Trejo - you get a pass.  You are great in everything.  But Rodriguez has no idea what makes trash cinema so damn enjoyable.  This is pretender nonsense.  And I need you to leave moviemaking alone for a while.  Sin City 2 can stay under a rock with you.

--Brad