Friday, February 3, 2012

A Fistful of True Stories! (Matt’s Picks)

Still looks better than Tom Green.

5.  Norwegian Ninja:  It’s all absolutely true.  Super-secret Norwegian ninjas do in fact keep that nation safe from the evils of the Communists and the greed of the Americans.  A shocking revelation of a film that ‘they’ don’t want you to see. 

4.  Naked Lunch:  Combining elements of his book and his life, this is the story of William S. Burroughs as much as it is anything else.  Buckaroo Banzai (aka Peter Weller) channels Burroughs to an almost disturbing level.  Crazy heaps on crazy, as reality, fantasy, nightmare, and bliss all turn inside out and get buggered by centipedes. 

3.  Spartacus:  This is THE sword and sandal epic as far as I’m concerned.  Forget Ben Hur.  Forget Gladiator.  This is one of the most badass films of all time.  Recounting a real (though heavily fictionalized) slave revolt, it manages to not only have some pretty cool action scenes, but it also doesn’t bog down into interminable boredom when they get to the talking bits (unlike Ben Hur).  Like another great classic, Citizen Kane, its production is almost as interesting as the film itself.  And what a great ending (again, unlike Ben Hur).   

2.  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:  It’s all true…Or at least it really happened.  The film based on drugged out madman Hunter S. Thompson’s whirlwind adventure in self-termed Gonzo Journalism takes its unlikely protagonists through hell and back on a psychedelic road trip through history and satire.  How much of the tale is objectively true may never be known by anyone sober enough to tell the tale.  But L.A. and Las Vegas do exist, and that’s got to count for something, right?

1.  Cannibal the Musical:  Based on the true story of the only man in US history to be convicted of cannibalism, and featuring a lot of references to the writer’s girlfriend (who’d recently dumped him), this hysterical, stupid, occasionally clever musical is a must-see for anyone who likes low budget madness.  Some of the songs are surprisingly catchy, too.  Also, it features the most stunningly accurate portrayal of Native Americans in film history.


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