New Release Tuesday!!! (10/8/13)

This is an exciting week of electric releases.  You have potentially the greatest incarnation of Batman outside of a comic book, plus Criterion's Spooky October series begins, a mustachioed Lee Marvin, and the Seed of Chucky has spawned a reboot.  You won't go broke this week, but you'll spend some serious time streaming some rentals.

MUST BUY DVD OF THE WEEK!

Batman - The Dark Knight Returns Deluxe Edition:  Best Buy has had this on their shelves for a couple of weeks now, and I've already watched it twice.  Just a damn good movie.  For decades comic book nerds have said that Frank Miller's Batman opus could not be replicated on the big screen...and they were half right, as Hollywood couldn't make it happen, but DC Entertainment's animated devision sure as hell could.  They've put out some iffy stuff in the past (Batman/Superman Apocalypse yeash) and some brilliant stuff as well (Justice League - The New Frontier), but I'm ready to claim the complete cut of The Dark Knight Returns as their masterpiece.  Peter Weller is Batman.  He's been out of the scene for over a decade, and Gotham City seems to have become an even crappier crap hole than before.  A roving gang of Mutants rules the night while the billionaire playboy tries to recapture the thrill of death on the race track.  Come on Bats, what were you thinking?  There is no end to Batman.  And that's what this film explores exceptionally.  Those looking for a straightforward narrative might find the four chapter screenplay a bit sluggish, but that's a small quibble when you're given so much Bat gold...or grit.  And if you're frothing at the mouth at the very idea of Zach Snyder's Batman vs Superman than you'll want to check out the climactic Kryptonian beatdown seen here at its brutal best.

BUY!

I Married A Witch:  Having just spent a month obsessing over The Criterion Collection, I'm pretty much committed to purchasing every single release.  The first of their October Halloween releases, I Married A Witch is apparently a comic tale in which Veronica Lake's Salem Sorceress sets her sultry sights on Fredric March's Richie Rich - hijinks ensue.  I'm a little more excited for the Eyes Without A Face & The Uninvited releases later this month, but my collection could certainly use more Veronica Lake.

Shout At The Devil:  This is not a great movie.  It's barely a good one.  But Lee Marvin vs Roger Moore set against the backdrop of World War I Africa?  You gotta see it just for the Lee Marvin handlebar mustache alone.  And there is a pretty rocking fist fight between Moore & Marvin planted at the center of the movie.  I can't really recommend this for the average movie goer, but if yer a Marvin maniac like myself than you have to have this Shout Factory blu ray.  Still, why they hell are Point Blank and Prime Cut not available in high definition!?!?!?  It's insane to me that Shout At The Devil gets there before those obvious classics.

RENT!

Much Ado About Nothing:  Sure, Joss Whedon's Shakespeare adaptation is fun enough.  What I really like is the notion that Whedon gathered up his friends and filmed this during a Christmas break from The Avengers.  Watching it through that lens will allow you to forgive some of its saccharine twee.  Much Ado About Nothing has never been one of my favorite plays (I'm a tragedy/history man myself), but if you're feeling particularly gormless or romantic than it will certainly hit the spot.

After Earth:  Not nearly as bad as some would have you believe, and nowhere near the worst monstrosity ever perpetrated by one time wunderkind M Night Shyamalan (uh, let's try not to remember The Last Airbender, The Happening, Lady in the Water).  This is a fun little adventure film in which Will Smith & son are stranded on an apocalyptic earth, counting down the seconds until their tic tac air filters run out, or the Cloverfield limb monster swallows them whole.  Sure, little Will Smith is not a particularly strong actor, and he's not given any help thanks to the awful hillbilly accent they saddled these future humans with or the countless CGI threats that are tossed his way.  He could have used a puppet or two to act against.  

Curse of Chucky:  I'm pretty darn excited for this Direct-to-DVD sequel or reboot or whatever.  Brad Dourif is still the voice of Chucky, so that's a win, and he's brought his daughter into the franchise as the distraught mother battling the demonic good guy doll from Toys R Us hell.  Don Mancini, the writer of the original film and the director Seed of Chucky, returns to helm what is hopefully a twisted tale of goofy horror.  What I don't want is a dour retread of the original.  Let's see some of those gross out gags made not-so-famous in the later films.

Corruption:  I've never seen this one, but I'm always down for some Peter Cushing.  Here, the man who held Darth Vader's leash, plays a mad doctor experimenting in diabolical skin grafts.  Sounds a lot like Eyes Without A Face to me, but again, who cares when it's Cushing on the prowl.  And in HD?  Sign me up.

AVOID!

The Hangover Part III:  I thought the first film had a few gutbusters.  I appreciated it's dark, mean-spirited humor as well as its willingness to jump into the absurd - Mike Tyson.  The second film was painfully horrendous in its shot-for-shot remake style approach.  Thankfully this third film is not nearly that bad, but it's really just not funny.  It tries to reach for an epic status, but nothing that occurs in the film matches the intensity of its poster marketing.  A couple chuckles but this frat party is over.

The Purge:  I really love the core concept of an America that has become so morally corrupt that one day a year citizens are given a Get Out Of Jail Card.  Burglary, Rape, Murder.  It's all good.  Unfortunately, this bitter pill of an idea is tossed away for a routine home invasion film in which Ethan Hawke & Lena Headey scream, cry, and panic as their children go down dark hallways they shouldn't.  Simply long, dull, and annoying.

--Brad

Matt’s Week in Dork! (6/2/13-6/8/13)

    More Twin Peaks helped me start the week off well.  And it carried me through, even when I was feeling down.  Dang, but I love that show.  Sad it didn’t get another season.  It goes by too fast.  And I watched a few more episodes of Space: Above & Beyond.  There is certainly potential for good in the show, as it takes on the lives of soldiers at war, drawing on WWII, Vietnam, and others for story and character cues.

After Earth:  Well, it didn’t suck.  Was it great?  No.  But it didn’t suck.  And that was a pretty big shock, truth be told.  The tech and design work were excellent and the story was fine, I guess.  Will Smith was OK.  His kid is dreadful.  There are wonky bits, to be sure.  But it was an all right sci-fi tale, probably best for kids.  Yes, there’s some violence and scary stuff, but nothing that would have been kept out of kids movies before Tipper Gore and her morality police turned everyone into hyper-sensitive wimps in the late 80s.  One thing that kind of drove me nuts was the writing around the tech.  While I loved the look and design of it, and the organic ship interiors were great, I was bothered by the environment suits.  Considering that suits with all weather capability are in the works now (one suit would work in the blazing heat of the desert or the frozen wastes of the Arctic), and that manufacturing air, water, and energy through that same suit shouldn’t be too difficult, the fact that his couldn’t do any of those things was bothersome.  But what really bugged me about it was the super advanced element that was missing…gloves.  If I travel to an alien planet, what’s the first thing I’m gonna do?  Put on some danged gloves.  When I do my gardening?  Gloves!  Still, the movie didn’t suck.

Twin Peaks Season 1:  I remember catching this during Summer re-runs and falling completely in love with the strange and magical world of demon serial killers, Zen FBI agents, mysterious woods, and haunting music.  That has never gone away.  It was also my introduction to David Lynch.  I think I’d seen Dune at some point, but it hadn’t left an impression.  This was my real doorway into his madness.  Seeing the show again for the first time in probably 10 years, it still grabs me and draws me in.  Is it for everyone?  No.  But it sure is for me.  And I’m still comfortable calling it my favorite TV show of all time (sorry, Star Trek…I do love you, though).  Agent Cooper is still my hero.

The Earth Dies Screaming:  “Oh, get on.”  Another sci-fi horror film from the UK.  It looks nice, has some interesting character tensions, and a solid premise.  The social commentary is typically heavy-handed.  Still, a worthy, if not especially great bit of creepy fun.  Though all the characters do seem a little too skilled at not running and not putting up any resistance to menace.  It is rather incorrectly titled.  The Earth actually dies rather quietly.  But I guess The Earth Dies All Mellow and Quiet-like doesn’t have the same ring.

Warm Bodies:  “Bitches, man.”  The last act is a bit wonky, but otherwise, this is a very cute and funny retelling of Romeo & Juliet, set against a zombie apocalypse.  Our hero, R, is going through something of an identity crisis.  He’s dead, and he doesn’t feel fulfilled.  When he meets a young women (and eats her boyfriend’s brains), he gets a yen for the love.  Chalk this one up in the My Boyfriend’s Back, Fido, Shawn of the Dead subgenre of zombie comedies.  It mostly works, and considering the tidal wave of zombie films that don’t, it’s a welcome change of pace.

The Vampire Lovers:  “Shall I make Gustav big and gray for you?”  Oh, that Hammer magic.  The sets.  The music.  The women.  Blah, blah; Something about a story.  Vampires, villagers, night visitors.  But who cares?  It’s about the Gothic atmosphere and the gorgeous women.  They’re nearly exploding out of their bosom baring dresses as they slink around old stately manors and darkened forests.  And it’s amazing.  Add in a great cast of staple UK character actors and you’ve got another classic.  My favorite Hammer film is probably still She, but The Vampire Lovers is up there (Twins of Evil and Vampire Circus are also must see greats from the masters of their craft).

Prince of the City:  “Go ahead and try me.  Not for a lousy $400.  At least get me for assault.”  This feels very much like an attempt to do the cop version of The Godfather.  It’s long, beautifully shot, and well acted.  However, it lacks compelling characters.  The performances are good, but I never found myself emotionally invested in the people or what they were doing.  Perhaps this was ground breaking at the time.  I don’t think there were a lot of movies about corrupt cops before this.  But having seen NYPD Blue, The Shield, Training Day, and a dozen more, little in this movie felt especially fresh.  And it is danged long.  But it’s of an era, and it’s certainly well made.  And Jerry Orbach.

Vengeance is a Golden Blade:  Twisty and curvy, the plot of this forgettable but perfectly fine Martial Arts actioner does have a few good surprises.  Everyone seems to be doing a fine job, and there are some good, if not especially memorable fights.  If you’re in the mood for a Shaw Bros. movie, and haven’t seen this one, it shouldn’t disappoint, but don’t expect too much.

    I read All Star Superman for the next book club meeting, and Phantom Stranger for my own edification.  And I read more of Boom! Studios’ Hellraiser comics, which I find myself enjoying quite a bit.

-Matt

A Fistful of Progeny! (Brad's Picks)

No one in Hollywoodland seems to want you to know that M Night Shyamalan has a new movie out this weekend.  Shhhhhhhh!  Don't mention The Last Airbender.  No, what we have this weekend is the new Will Smith movie.  But the more I see and the more I read about After Earth the less interested I become.  It doesn't look like much of a Will Smith movie anyway; it's really Jaden Smith's show, and frankly, I think that kid stinks.  I guess he was ok in that boring Karate Kid remake, but he almost single handedly brought forth my rage in The Day The Earth Stood Still remake (Keanu gets a chunk of the credit).  Such an annoying brat, and I really want nothing to do with him now.  Sure, that sounds pretty harsh and totally unfair.  But this is my blog; let me have my irrational, hypocritical opinions.  You know I'm gonna drop my cash for After Earth, and maybe - just maybe - it's a solid post-apocalpse flick, and my mind will be forever altered in regards to all Smith offspring.  After all, Hollywood has produced a lot of talented babies...

5.  Jason Robards:  The son of Hope Maxine Robards & Jason Robards Sr, Junior here eventually surpassed his father's notoriety as a stage actor with a little help from Eugene O'Neal (Long Day's Journey Into Night, The Iceman Cometh, Hughie, A Touch of the Poet).  From there, Robards found his way onto television, lent a little credibility to Roger Corman's The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, and found critical nirvana through Sergio Leone & Sam Peckinpah.  His performances in both Once Upon A Time In The West & The Ballad of Cable Hogue are what lands him on this list, but I would be lying if I neglected his minor turns in Ron Howard's Parenthood or Quick Change - both were absolute staples of my youth.  Also, his final credit as the neglectful dad Earl Partridge in Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia will rip out your heart, and his work there granted Tom Cruise his finest hour.

4.  Nicolas Cage:  His grandfather was composer Carmine Coppola, his uncle Francis Ford Coppola, and his aunt Talia Shire.  If written a few years earlier, Cage would have easily landed at the number one spot of this list, but his special brand of mega-acting has not been kind to his career lately.  After winning my heart with a few brilliantly bonkers performances (The Bad Lieutenant, Kick Ass, Drive Angry), Cage has pretty much sunken into the bland Direct-To-DVDers (Trespass, Seeking Justice, Stolen).  It might be easy to write him off thanks to all those bees in The Wicker Man remake, but let's not forget the classics - Raising Arizona, Red Rock West, Adaptation, Matchstick Men - these are some powerhouse performances not to be mocked.  And I'm betting Cage has a couple more surprises left up his sleeve.

3.  David Carradine:  The son of John Carradine & brother to Keith & Robert.  The man pretty much ruled my childhood with Kung Fu & it's crappy sequel show, The Legend Continues.  But it wasn't until Quentin Tarantino reintroduced him to the world in Kill Bill that I truly discovered the genius of his massive body of work.  Death Race 2000, Boxcar Bertha, Bound for Glory, The Warrior & The Sorceress, The Long Riders, Q The Winged Serpent.  The man was the king of B movies, and he was working like a beast right up to his sad end.  And as a result, we're going to be getting Direct-To-DVD appearances for at least another ten years.

2.  Robert Downey Jr:  The son of independent filmmaker Robert Downey Sr; it's hard to remember the dark days of Soapdish & Chances Are (two charming films made in a haze of sex and cocaine), this former Brat Packer was well on his way to obscurity before Marvel's Iron Man launched his career into the stratosphere.  But before he donned ol' Shell Head, Robert Downey Jr was already making quite a buzz in the small movie racket.  Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is an amazing bit of noir wit from Shane Black.  Downey expertly charmed as the jittering literary agent in Curtis Hanson's Wonder Boys.  And he scored big points reaching into his drug fueled past to portray the doomed reporter Paul Avery in David Fincher's painfully overlooked Zodiac.  He might be forever assembled an Avenger, but Robert Downey Jr earned his Blockbuster status, and I hope he finds some tiny gems amongst his continuing franchises.

1.  Jeff Bridges:  He's The Dude.  'nuff said.  Oh, you want more?  The son of Lloyd & brother of Beau, Jeff Bridges has rarely been on the bottom of creativity.  I'd love to tell you that he had it from the start, but, gulp, I've actually never seen The Last Picture Show.  No, my love for the man started with the King Kong remake (a terribly mediocre film in hindsight), survived on the original Tron, and became the god of drifter cool in The Big Lebowski.  Along the way he played boy cub to Clint Eastwood's hardass in Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, straight man to John Heard's psychotic do-gooder in Cutter's Way, and my all time favorite sandwich eating POTUS in The Contender.  And oh yeah, FTW, he schooled John Wayne in The Coen Brothers' far superior True Grit.  Done deal.  Jeff Bridges is the king of Hollywood offspring.

--Brad

"Fear Is A Choice" - After Earth Trailer Has Found You!

Lady In The Water, The Happening, The Last Airbender.  Do we dare put our faith in M Night Shyamalan once again?  I'm not sure I have it in me.  And frankly, what the hell is Will Smith doing with his voice!?!?  I'm all for kooky accents (see my love for Ben Kingsley's Mandarin tone), but this blather is impossible to wrap my ear around.  It blunders my brain.  I do like the Planet of the Apes vibe this trailer gives off at times, but I like the space bits more than the dino-rider segments.  Still, I'm gonna jump in Shamalan's boat one more time...let's see if it sinks.



--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork! (5/20/12-5/26/12)

A lighter than usual week for me, there were still a few rather nifty highlights.  Back at the AFI Silver, Matt & I caught Chinatown on the big screen.  Roman Polanski's wannabe noir has always been one of my favorite films and getting the chance to see a living print on Sunday was a real delight.  The only bummer was that the theater was not packed, and they relegated the screening to their smaller theater # 2 while the Avengers of Old British People i.e. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel played in their main hall.

The other two films I caught on the big screen were Battleship and Men In Black III, but I both film were rather disappointing-which is saying something cuz I wasn't expecting much from either flick.  I mean how could anyone expect anything of quality based on a board game, right?  

And with all the Dark Knight Rises posters and banners popping up on the internet this week I found myself surprisingly purchasing the new Batman - Knightfall omnibus from DC Comics.  It's a beast of a book and it's wonky writing for sure, but it was a fun nostalgic trip back to the goofy 1990s.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Chinatown:  "Well, to tell you the truth, I lied a little." Chinatown is at once a tribute to film noir and a continuation of the genre; Jack Nicholson is a smartass P.I. with a reputation, grabbing cash from the product of infidelity that leads him down the rabbit hole of corporate and government treachery. Faye Dunaway is the damaged goods damsel and John Huston, the smiling chomping dragon. As the plot unravels and the obvious becomes less obvious, Nicholson discovers even further depths of futility that even his hardened gumshoe knew not possible. A painful, brutal tale handled artfully by both Roman Polanski and Robert Towne. Maybe not in my Top Ten films of all time, but it's right there in the Top 20.

Battleship:  Despite some potentially wonderfully terrible lines of dialog like "Chicken Burrito her" and "Mustard done got run over by a garbage truck," Peter Berg's Battleship takes itself way, way, way too seriously and is far too much in love with itself to be any kind of fun. Taylor Kitsch continues his streak of attaching himself to doomed properties and sucks up the screen as a slacker sailor forced into action as light sensitive alien mech suits invade Hawaii for some god forsaken reason. Prepare yourself for loud whirring sounds, sparks, sparks, sparks and crash boom bang boring nonsense. Maybe, just maybe, if the script had a sense of humor or at least a wink to Michael BayAwesomeness than you could chuckle at the ridiculous board game turned multi million dollar blockbuster, but as is, Battleship is just an embarrassment.  And long.  And boring.  Sunk.

Jack's Back:  1988, 100 years after Jack The Ripper terrified the city of London, a series of copycat murders spring forth under the neon lights of Los Angeles. James Spader plays twin brothers caught in the middle of the killings with Robert Picardo's mama's boy police detective hypnotizing his way to the truth. Director Rowdy Herrington would go on to direct the 80s cheeze classic Road House, but Jack's Back is a rather weak rip off of the much superior Robert Bloch short story "Your's Truly, Jack The Ripper." Still, Spader is fun in the duel roles, especially the slimy naughty brother.

The Two Jakes:  Fifteen years after Chinatown, Jack Nicholson returned to the hanky panky world of private detective JJ Gittes and decided to step behind the camera when original director Roman Polanski simply knew better. The neo noir style is gone despite the addition of unnecessary pulpy narration and the flat eye of cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond. Honestly, The Two Jakes is not a terrible film. It's just no Chinatown. And when your first film was so damn good, you really have to have a fantastic narrative to justify your existence, but try as he might Robert Towne fails to elevate the poisoned past plot.  This sequel is better left forgotten.

Top Gun:  Once a staple of my childhood, Top Gun now seems to slog through its fighter school plot of ass hole pilots trying to out-jackass their fellow students by spiking volleyballs, chewing gum, and causing nearly catastrophic aerial "look at me!" stunts. Tony Scott obviously loves mounting his cameras onto planes and I remember the dog fights looking fairly badass on the big screen, but trapped inside the television, the fight choreography fails to sizzle. And the relationship between Cruise and McGillis is completely lack of romance no matter how much shadowy lovemaking montages they splice together.

Men In Black III:  It's been fifteen years since Will Smith originally got jiggy with the shadowy organization known as the Men In Black and its been ten years since Agents J & K took down the abomination that was Laura Flynn Boyle. And was anyone looking for a third outing? Not me. And for the most part, this sequel feels worn-out and tired, even when it's thankfully not relying on worm aliens or talking pugs. The time travel plot involving Josh Brolin's young Agent K is kinda fun with his dead-on (and dead pan) Tommy Lee Jones impersonation but there's also plenty of missed historical opportunities and flat jokey jokes.  Jemaine Clement does a pretty good Tim Curry as the one armed baddie Boris The Animal and Alice Eve stands around looking pretty. Michael Stuhlbarg steals the show (as usual) as the fifth dimensionally challenged being at the center of the alien murders. Men In Black III is a solid way to kill an afternoon, but I would not shell out for nighttime (and especially not 3D) prices.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Batman - Knightfall Volume 1:  The 90s Epic that pit crime lord & wannabe luchador Bane against Bruce Wayne's sick & sniveling Batman. The first volume of Knightfall is a massive tome weighing in just over 600 pages, and only towards the end, after The Bat has been broken and Wayne has awoken from his coma do we get any sense that Bats is any kind of a badass. For most of this story, Wayne is on the verge of collapse. Even before Bane busts all the loonies out of Arkham, he's got the sniffels. Just taking down C List villains like The Ventriloquist and The Mad Hatter is a challenge let alone the main rogues like The Joker or Scarecrow. Honestly, seeing every issue conclude with an exhausted and frowny faced Batman is rather annoying. Especially when the mantel has to be passed to Jean Paul Valley's god crazy Azrael and this new bling bling Batman takes on Bane's underworld with such ease. Bruce Wayne is tougher than this book gives him credit. It tries too hard to justify Bane's reign over Gotham, slighting the character of the billionaire vigilante; transforming the icon into a mental weakling.

Still, it's fun to revisit this media orchestrated event. And there is a glimmer of an interesting creation in Bane, the anti-Batman. I can easily see Christopher Nolan molding this oh-so-90s idea into a brutal brawl for The Dark Knight Rises, and I really hope the final Nolan film takes its climax cues from Knightfall's conclusion. BREAK THE BAT!  And I gotta admit,  I am looking forward to venturing into volume 2 (&3!) of Knightfall. Jean Paul Valley is a serious loon and even if I don't quite understand what Wayne was thinking when he gave the suit over to this nutter, it's fun to see this razor clawed Batman beat the maniacs of Gotham to a bloody pulp.

Batman - The Court of Owls:  Collecting the first seven issues of The New 52 Batman, The Court of Owls doesn't necessarily retcon everything we've come to know about the caped crusader (this is still Bruce Wayne, the revenge?/justice? fueled vigilante, caretaker of three acrobatic wards), but it definitely has some fun with the history of Gotham. A John Doe murder sends Bats through the mirror darkly of historical conspiracy, involving a legendary court of manipulative high society bird brains and their unstoppable Talon assassins. Writer Scott Snyder takes full advantage of former Spawn artist Greg Capullo's slick and violent style, plunging The Batman into the sewers of Wayne's psyche. And his Owls creep me the hell out. I appreciate how this first volume doesn't neatly conclude the plot and even promises further exploration of Gotham's secret history as Batman & company will most definitely face off against an armada of fresh rogues. Man, it's nice to not just have another Joker punch up.

--Brad

A Fistful of One Too Many! (Brad's Picks)

Tonight, The Wife & I will be hitting up a midnight screening of Men in Black III.  It's been a decade since the last film and I'm not really sure anyone out there (including the two of us) is all that excited for the third installment.  That second film after all was unforgivably terrible.  I only saw it the once, but it killed any kind of enthusiasm built from the original silly Will Smith (& straight man Tommy Lee Jones) vehicle and I've nearly blocked the visual of Laura Flynn Boyle's groaning plant lady completely from my brain.  It still lurks like a repressed childhood trauma.

That Second Film was definitely unwelcome and probably went one film too far into the franchise.  Can the third film redeem the MIB saga?  Doubtful.  Still, I'm slightly curious to see Josh Brolin's Tommy Lee Jones impersonation and I'm always down for Rick Baker creatures.

It begs the question, what other sequels went where no audience cared?

5.  The Two Jakes:  I just watched this the other night so it's freshly scarred my mind.  The Jack Nicholson directed sequel to Chinatown lacks the noir style of the original, plopping in narration where none is needed and looking horribly flat with that bland 90s lighting.  It's not a terrible film, but where most people site The Godfather Part III as the most heinous sequel to a perfectly contained masterpiece, I'd say The Two Jakes is really the MOST unnecessary sequel in cinema.  That being said, the below films irritate me to an even greater extent cuz it's hard to muster the energy against The Two Jakes since it's just sooooooo easy to ignore...forget.

4.  Rocky V:  After the ridiculously 80s Communist Assault that was Rocky IV, the franchise grinds to a halt with this fifth entry pitting a brain dead Rocky against punk protege Tommy Gun.  Instead of battling it out in the land of the unfree with a must-breaking titan, Rocky takes the fight to the back alleys of the U.S. of A. and slaps a boy around for a bit before the credits roll.  It's just so damn dull after The Wall tumbling climax of part 4.

3.  Alien - Resurrection:  Some might argue that Alien 3 is the one film too many, but there are bits and pieces to that prison break that I enjoy quite a bit.  And truth be told, there are a couple of moments or ideas in Resurrection that I like as well.  But as a whole, this infamously Joss Whedon scripted sequel induces more groans than chills, and when the Newborn rears its ugly ass head at the climax I want to punch the TV screen.  Those stupid blinking eyes and cooing whimpers!  Argh!  It may be a beautiful butterfly, Brad Dourif but I just want to crush it like the gross bug that it is.  And Winona Ryder, yer no Bishop.

2.  Batman Forever:  Christopher Nolan might have saved the Bat saga for the fanboys, but nothing will ever remove the taint left behind by Joel Schumacher's Day-Glo nightmare.  Yes, yes, yes, Batman & Robin is even worse but don't doubt for a second that Batman Forever is a good movie.  Say what you will about the Tim Burton films, but once Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face starts to cackle your eyes will go wide with disbelief and you'll be praying for Danny DeVito's penguin army.  And yeah, Jim Carrey.  I hate you.

1.  The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions:  When they were first released, I tried real hard to love The Matrix sequels.  But after a few rewatches, I just couldn't keep lying to myself.  The first film was a nifty sci-fi actioner that mixed some trippy 60s science-fiction novels with a little classroom zen.  But the sequels are way in love with the banal philosophy.  And man, all that CGI-Fu does not hold up these days.  But you could possibly forgive the doughy fisticuffs if the plot was not so pseudo-religously lame.  It might have been fun to see Neo go from hacker to god in the first film, but watching the god plunder about in parts 2 and 3 pretty much kills any kind of tension.  And it's all just so dang smug.

--Brad