Matt’s Week in Dork! (6/2/13-6/8/13)

    More Twin Peaks helped me start the week off well.  And it carried me through, even when I was feeling down.  Dang, but I love that show.  Sad it didn’t get another season.  It goes by too fast.  And I watched a few more episodes of Space: Above & Beyond.  There is certainly potential for good in the show, as it takes on the lives of soldiers at war, drawing on WWII, Vietnam, and others for story and character cues.

After Earth:  Well, it didn’t suck.  Was it great?  No.  But it didn’t suck.  And that was a pretty big shock, truth be told.  The tech and design work were excellent and the story was fine, I guess.  Will Smith was OK.  His kid is dreadful.  There are wonky bits, to be sure.  But it was an all right sci-fi tale, probably best for kids.  Yes, there’s some violence and scary stuff, but nothing that would have been kept out of kids movies before Tipper Gore and her morality police turned everyone into hyper-sensitive wimps in the late 80s.  One thing that kind of drove me nuts was the writing around the tech.  While I loved the look and design of it, and the organic ship interiors were great, I was bothered by the environment suits.  Considering that suits with all weather capability are in the works now (one suit would work in the blazing heat of the desert or the frozen wastes of the Arctic), and that manufacturing air, water, and energy through that same suit shouldn’t be too difficult, the fact that his couldn’t do any of those things was bothersome.  But what really bugged me about it was the super advanced element that was missing…gloves.  If I travel to an alien planet, what’s the first thing I’m gonna do?  Put on some danged gloves.  When I do my gardening?  Gloves!  Still, the movie didn’t suck.

Twin Peaks Season 1:  I remember catching this during Summer re-runs and falling completely in love with the strange and magical world of demon serial killers, Zen FBI agents, mysterious woods, and haunting music.  That has never gone away.  It was also my introduction to David Lynch.  I think I’d seen Dune at some point, but it hadn’t left an impression.  This was my real doorway into his madness.  Seeing the show again for the first time in probably 10 years, it still grabs me and draws me in.  Is it for everyone?  No.  But it sure is for me.  And I’m still comfortable calling it my favorite TV show of all time (sorry, Star Trek…I do love you, though).  Agent Cooper is still my hero.

The Earth Dies Screaming:  “Oh, get on.”  Another sci-fi horror film from the UK.  It looks nice, has some interesting character tensions, and a solid premise.  The social commentary is typically heavy-handed.  Still, a worthy, if not especially great bit of creepy fun.  Though all the characters do seem a little too skilled at not running and not putting up any resistance to menace.  It is rather incorrectly titled.  The Earth actually dies rather quietly.  But I guess The Earth Dies All Mellow and Quiet-like doesn’t have the same ring.

Warm Bodies:  “Bitches, man.”  The last act is a bit wonky, but otherwise, this is a very cute and funny retelling of Romeo & Juliet, set against a zombie apocalypse.  Our hero, R, is going through something of an identity crisis.  He’s dead, and he doesn’t feel fulfilled.  When he meets a young women (and eats her boyfriend’s brains), he gets a yen for the love.  Chalk this one up in the My Boyfriend’s Back, Fido, Shawn of the Dead subgenre of zombie comedies.  It mostly works, and considering the tidal wave of zombie films that don’t, it’s a welcome change of pace.

The Vampire Lovers:  “Shall I make Gustav big and gray for you?”  Oh, that Hammer magic.  The sets.  The music.  The women.  Blah, blah; Something about a story.  Vampires, villagers, night visitors.  But who cares?  It’s about the Gothic atmosphere and the gorgeous women.  They’re nearly exploding out of their bosom baring dresses as they slink around old stately manors and darkened forests.  And it’s amazing.  Add in a great cast of staple UK character actors and you’ve got another classic.  My favorite Hammer film is probably still She, but The Vampire Lovers is up there (Twins of Evil and Vampire Circus are also must see greats from the masters of their craft).

Prince of the City:  “Go ahead and try me.  Not for a lousy $400.  At least get me for assault.”  This feels very much like an attempt to do the cop version of The Godfather.  It’s long, beautifully shot, and well acted.  However, it lacks compelling characters.  The performances are good, but I never found myself emotionally invested in the people or what they were doing.  Perhaps this was ground breaking at the time.  I don’t think there were a lot of movies about corrupt cops before this.  But having seen NYPD Blue, The Shield, Training Day, and a dozen more, little in this movie felt especially fresh.  And it is danged long.  But it’s of an era, and it’s certainly well made.  And Jerry Orbach.

Vengeance is a Golden Blade:  Twisty and curvy, the plot of this forgettable but perfectly fine Martial Arts actioner does have a few good surprises.  Everyone seems to be doing a fine job, and there are some good, if not especially memorable fights.  If you’re in the mood for a Shaw Bros. movie, and haven’t seen this one, it shouldn’t disappoint, but don’t expect too much.

    I read All Star Superman for the next book club meeting, and Phantom Stranger for my own edification.  And I read more of Boom! Studios’ Hellraiser comics, which I find myself enjoying quite a bit.

-Matt

New Release Tuesday!!! - Better Late Than Never Edition (6/4/13)

I know I'm late on this one, but I didn't want to let this week slip by since it's packed with so many wonderful films to consume.  You've got another so-so Die Hard as well as another zom rom com (who would have ever thought of another one of those sub, sub-genres coming around after Shaun of the Dead?), but the real treats of the week extend from that glorious decade of the 1970s.  And they're not the typical classics most film freaks have seen.  Let's start with the...

MUST BUY DVD OF THE WEEK!

Electra Glide in Blue:  One of the best beat cop movies out there.  Robert Blake (let's ignore his murderous personal life) is a teeny tiny highway patrolman navigating the mundane crimes of the Arizona interstate.  His dreams of Homicide Detection are teased when he discovers the corpse of an anonymous hermit.  It's a mean little film with just as much disillusionment as Dirty Harry, but not as widely regarded as that Hollywood endeavor.  Electra Glide in Blue is a slower film; it takes its time to rip your heart out, but when it gets there you'll feel a chunk of your soul missing.  Sound like a good time out at the movies?  Maybe not, but it's a fantastic experience.

BUY!

A Good Day To Die Hard:  Not the return to Hard R glory I wanted, but what do you expect for the fifth film in a franchise?  Um, how 'bout Fast Five!  Bruce Willis travels to Mother Russia to retrieve his son from a whole heap of Cold War trouble.  Jai Courtney is actually pretty fantastic as the McClane offspring, and his relationship with Willis is far more entertaining than expected.  My real problem with the film are the lackluster action set pieces.  Other than an impossibly long car chase, there is very little to remember about this example of diminishing return.  And is John McClane really John McClane when he's sporting a chrome dome?  Not to me he isn't.

Warm Bodies:  Much better than it has any right to be, the film pretty much looses me as it crawls towards its climax.  But where can this sub-genre go once you've explored every horrific aspect?  It was bound to get the Twilight treatment and it succeeds thanks to the presence of "real" actors (you know, people than can emote) and a recognizable sense of loneliness.  Rob Corddry steals the show as Holt's zombie buddy and the film certainly could have benefitted with more of his zombie banter.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome:  The whole trilogy hit blu ray this week, but since I already have the first two the only one I'm really interested in acquiring is this flawed, but ambitious conclusion.  It's been at least a decade since I've seen this movie, and the plot details have pretty much faded.  I certainly remember Tina Turner and the revolting Master Blaster.  I remember that tribe of children from the poster.  And I remember the disappointment that Mad Max is just not as hardcore as he was in The Road Warrior.  But it's time for a revisit.

The Shadow:  Speaking of disappointments...The Shadow came out amongst a flurry of pulp hero adaptations (Dick Tracy, The Phantom, The Rocketeer) and it was easily the weakest of the bunch.  Alec Baldwin cuts a pretty fine Lamont Cranston, but his masked avenger could use a little work and definitely a better nose job.  PG doesn't work for the film either.  I'm not looking for an R Rated bloodbath, but The Shadow is a killer and he should act as such.  Think Batman filtered through gangster morality.   However, the real exciting thing about this blu ray release is the widescreen.  Every few years a new DVD would come out, but it would always be truncated into Full Screen.  Now we can see every inch of this mediocre adventure, and I'm genuinely excited.  Even a poor adaptation is worthy of some enthusiasm.

Earthquake:  My absolute favorite Disaster Film.  Growing up in San Diego, California I was always terrified the Earth would open up and swallow my home.  I only lived through a few minor quakes but they were enough to permanently scar my child brain.  Charlton Heston leads a cast of time-gone-by actors as well as a few bright, up & comers.  George Kennedy is the bee's knees as the tough guy cop brought to an emotional breakdown by mother nature.  Richard Roundtree is a meastro of the dirt bike, coming to the rescue of helpless kiddies everywhere.  But the real stars are the matte paintings and the crumbling Universal sets.  Brutal, heartbreaking devastation and only in a way that 70s Hollywood could do.  Roland Emmerich only wishes he could match this horror.

Dirty Mary Crazy Larry/Race With The Devil:  Shout Factory put out this brilliant double in standard def a few years back, but now we can take in all the 70s sleazy grime in beautiful 1080p.  Mary & Larry is fun enough, however, the real draw is the satanic road rage of Race With The Devil.  Starring Peter Fonda & Warren Oates as a couple of dirt bike champions (such a popular profession in the 70s), the two cool cats & their wives stumble upon a human sacrifice while dragging their winnebago across America.  RG Armstrong guest stars as a sheriff with a touch of the goat.  Directed by Jack Starrett after he ruled the exploitation world with Jim Brown's Slaughter, but before he co-starred in First Blood as the asshole cop Rambo rocked out of the helicopter.  Race With The Devil will mark an excellent addition to your Rosemary's Baby, Devil's Rain, Ninth Gate dvd shelf.

RENT!

Scum:  Starring an impossibly young Ray Winstone, Scum is a flick I've always wanted to see but have just never gotten around to.  Time to change that.  Director Alan Clarke originally crafted this story as a BBC play but it was banned before it ever aired.  When the regime changed they reshot the story with Ray Winstone in the lead and brutalized British society.  Apparently.  I can't tell you if it's great or not.  But I love Winstone.  And I love angry films.

--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork! (2/17/13-2/23/13)

Blaxploitation Month never really happened.  I'm starting to wonder if I have these epic movie marathons in me anymore.  My brain is just so scattershot; right now I can't seem to focus on one particular concept or idea - I want to jump all over the place.  Oh well.  I cranked out another batch of Jim Brown flicks and I think I'm gonna continue with the man well into March.  Dying to rewatch Dark of the Sun, Black Gunn, and Slaughter.  And I've been youtubing his final martian showdown in Mars Attacks over and over and over.  The man is just so supremely badass.

But the most fun I've had this week, and the program that has kept me from rabbit holing into the Blaxploitation genre, is David Milch's Deadwood.  I have been downright giddy lavishing over the first season with The Wife, and I cannot begin to describe how lovely it is to be married to someone who appreciates the word "cocksucker" as much as I do.  Huzzah, I say!  And to witness The Wife's transformation from an Ian McShane hater into one of his proud, dirty flock has been a great reward.  We've also been picking away at LOST & the last season of Supernatural, but it's Deadwood that has really stuck in her consciousness.  And that's beautiful.

A Good Day To Die Hard:  Yippee Ki-Yawn.  That pretty much sums up my feelings for this fifth and hopefully final entry in the Die Hard franchise.  I really loved the silly, smiley trailer as well as the general concept of Papa McClane devastating the USSR - I mean Russia (so awesomely 80s!) as a means of reconnecting with his 007 son.  And Jai Courtney is pretty much a spot-on spawn of Bruce Willis.  He's got the head cock, the smirk, the general blue collar attitude.  However, director Stuart Moore just sucks the life right outta the action.  A Good Day to Die Hard is nearly 90 minutes of continuous (PG-13 clothed in R) violence, but the camera pathetically mimics the Paul Greengrass style with too-tight closups and never-settle editing.  The result is a snooze; I checked out ten minutes into the initial bumper derby car chase and never got back into the story.  I opened my eyes for a couple of F Bombs as well as Cole Hauser's pointlessly brief G-man.  So if Willis can't score with his go-to Die Hard franchise, Schwarzenegger & Stallone might as well hang up their icons.  Time for these beasts of the 1980s to reevaluate their twilight years - you can't go home again, move on, find new parts to play.

Deadwood - Season 1:  When does Deadwood become my favorite thing ever?  I'm talking books, movies, comics, tv.  Deadwood reigns supreme in my heart.  The first episode directed by Walter Hill is a bit of a clunker.  It's not terrible tv, but the actors don't have their characters just yet, and David Milch & company are still developing the outlaw nation setting.  It takes a few hours - Wild Bill needs to be executed so reluctant sheriff Seth Bullock can complete his hero worship.  The Dude has to reconnoiter the rim and shuffle (get chucked) off this mortal coil.  But once the pieces fall into place and the Shakespearean horror takes full bloody effect, Deadwood climbs to the top of My Favorite Things list.  We all know how much I love Timothy Olyphant's Raylan Givens, and the deep buried rage of Seth Bullock could very well be his great grandfather.  It had been far too long since I visited the Black Hills.  This show pretty much birthed my enthusiasm for Westerns.  Sure, Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven was the beginning, but I didn't understand that film until I rewatched it through the prodding prism of HBO's mesmerizing psycho drama.  And that Best Picture reexamination led to Glendon Swarthout's novel, The Shootist, and the obsession with oaters was complete.  The Wife doesn't quite hold the show in the extreme esteem that I do, but I was pleasantly surprised to see her fall hard for this foul world.  On to the second season.

Warm Bodies:  This was fun.  Cute.  I'm just so darn sick of the Romero knockoffs; it's nice to see a zombie film approach the genre from a different angle even if it is the Teen Genre (I can't believe it's actually become a genre).  Nicholas Holt narrates the film as our reluctant flesheater, his body returns to life after eating the brains of Teresa Palmer's boyfriend - the awkwardly eyebrowy David Franco.  While digesting a little knowledge his heart begins to beat again and the ultimate family friendly necropheliac film is born.  You gotta love how wonderfully prepackaged this sickie has been presented to the public and it's much better than it has any right to be, especially when you compare it to other teen hits like Twilight and The Hunger Games.

The Walking Dead Season 3 - "Home":  Definitely a stronger episode than the last, but the bad taste of "The Suicide King" is still swamped on my tongue.  It annoys me how no one at the prison is addressing how crazy brains Rick has become.  The man lost his shit last episode and when we find his crew again they're just arguing amongst themselves like usual, but not one brings up the specter attuned Rick - who wobbles away to shout at the woods.  The Governor & Andrea bicker as well, & the crybaby dictator launches a meek attack on the prison.  I dig his Trojan Horse assault, but this war better reach epic heights before the season ends.  I hate to continue comparing this show to the comic book series, but where are Robert Kirkman's balls?  That man loves to punish his characters but AMC seems scared to create no-turning back scenarios.  Weaksauce.

Savage Wolverine #2:  Still fun.  But I want more Frank Cho Shanna and less Frank Cho Wolverine.  But since this is a Logan title I guess I just have to accept that as an impossibility.  A new guy (ugh, more ladies please Frank) shows up with some techno force field, but the mystery doesn't deepen it just gets more foggy - I have no clue what's going on or why I should care.  But I'm sticking to it for Frank's She Devil, and I'm thinking she's going to have Logan wrapped around her thong - I mean, finger, in no time flat.

Captain America #4:  Unless something drastic happens, this is the last time I write about Rick Remender's Captain America.  I'm going to keep on reading cuz I love Cap so much I will torture myself with horrendous plotting.  The first page reads: Eleven Years Later.  Captian America still has a Zola living in his chest, and that makes the parenting of his clone baby a little difficult.  I guess I can appreciate how balls out bananas this title has become, but it's just so damn stupid.  And ugly.  I'm no longer amused with JRJR's renderings, all his beasts look the same and his kids are a bunch of balloon heads.  I'm done with this Marvel Now horror show.

Nova #1:  I don't know anything about Nova - only that he belongs to a space corps that looks pathetically similar to DC's Green Lantern Corps.  But I've enjoyed Jeph Loeb comics in the past, even the books in which he's partnered with Ed McGuinness.  Sam Alexander is a bratty teenager living in a dirt heap of a town reminiscent of The Last Starfighter's trailer park hell hole.  His lifetime has been filled with his father's stories of space war and he's sick of it.  But when pop goes missing and Rocket Raccoon appears at the end of his bed, Alexander is given the chance to suit up.  A fun enough intro, I'll keep going.

BPRD 1948 #5:  I'm not sure I loved this mini as much as the previous BPRD prequels - I'm gonna need to read it as a whole before I pass judgement.  But right now I can confidently state that I enjoyed the tiny moments with little Hellboy than I did the big plot with Professor Bruttenholm.  The kid's B story regarding his appearance is some of the most heartfelt storytelling to come out of the Mignolaverse.  Anyone who has ever asked "What are those goggles on Hellboy's head?" should look to this miniseries for their origin.  Artist Max Fiumara perfectly captures the sadness behind this moment.

Saga #10:  Gah!  Brian K Vaughen why must you keep killing off my favorite characters in this book!?!?!?  If you're not careful I'll jump ship cuz the main Romeo & Juliet couple are not enough for me to keep reading; it's the crazy alien beasties that I really want to explore.  The moment Prince Robot or The Will are gone so will I.

The Split:  Easily the weakest movie adapted from a Richard Stark novel (this time out it's The Seventh), The Split nevertheless has one of the most fascinating casts ever assembled.  You've got Jim Brown up front as the Parker stand-in.  Ernest Borgnine, Jack Klugman, Warren Oates, and Donald Sutherland bickering amongst themselves as Brown's goon squad.  Gene Hackman is the local law enforcement.  And James Whitmore is the psychotic outsider threatening their big score.  That is one hell of a cast.  So why does The Split fail so miserably?  Well, it's boring!  And lifeless!  And so damn frustrating.  Brown & Borgnine do have a pretty badass brawl in the middle of the picture and the cast makes it worth a watch if not a purchase, but when this film should be exploding with character actor rage, The Split sputters to a climax.  A real Hollywood bummer.

The Slams:  This is a little bit better than The Split, but still not the exploitation classic you want it to be.  Jim Brown is arrested after a nasty little double cross heist and lands behind bars with an array of Roger Corman savages (this is brother Gene's production).  There he must fend for himself in the laundry rooms and the metal shop while big burly dudes try to pummel the missing million dollar loot from his memory.  Brown concocts an escape plan with his girlfriend and an outsider pimp, but the violence never gets as extreme as it should for this kinda picture - I feel like Gene Corman and director Jonathan Kaplan are attempting a more classic approach to this cheapie production when it should just throw itself into the muck of its setting.  Frankly, the poster is better than the movie.

Justified Season 4 - "Money Trap":  Jody, the dirtbag criminal with a weakness for airbags last seen in the first episode of this season, returns here as the cold blooded killer of Raylan's ex.  There is some Elmore Leonardy side story  involving a wannabe filmmaker and the ridiculously named Jackie Nevada but this Justified entry succeeds thanks to another classic climax confrontation.  Not to mention we get some serious Papa Arlo hate in the last few minutes.  This season is burning towards its climax but we don't feel any closer to the Drew Thompson mystery.  Still, it's nice to get a breather from the plot and have a moment for Raylan to showdown.

The Island:  The film starts off in the vein of a Friday the 13th slasher, with some rich yucks on a yacht getting hacked apart with a variety of cutting tools.  But this is as gory as it gets - The Island might be a part of the Scream Factory label but it totally belongs in the seafaring goofiness of Peter Benchley.  Michael Caine & his brat kid crash land on a LOST-like island; there they encounter a savage race of pirates led with despicable charm by the garish David Warner.  Caine takes five minutes to defend his groin from a muddy pirate lady but quickly succumbs to her nether regions.  Ah, romance.  This is just a weird damn film.  And Caine is the perfect lead for this nutter.  The man is the master of the agape stare and he can match sleaze for sleaze when battling prehistoric pirate villains.

El Condor:  "If my mother was a whisky cow the milk from her tit couldn't be any sweeter than that."  Oh man, Lee Van Cleef is a degenerate louse, goofily grimacing his way into our hearts while plundering for gold with calvary killer Jim Brown.  El Condor is a strange buddy cop Western with both Van Cleef and Brown playing for laughs and miraculously succeeding.  El Condor is peppered with fun bits of weirdo villainy and violence, as well as decent amounts of B Movie nudity.  Unlike The Split & The Slams, El Condor is a lost should-be exploitation classic - And a Western to boot!  So good it sent me running to that other Jim Brown cowboy classic -

100 Rifles:  Jim Brown is a Marshall down from America hunting the bandit smile of Burt Reynolds.  But once he finds his man, he also discovers the bosom of Raquel Welch and the next thing he knows he's wrapped up in a Mexican Revolution.  100 Rifles is packed with typical Burt Reynolds hijinks, but its more Sharky's Machine than Cannonball Run.  Everyone is happy to be committing violence and it's all for a good cause; we can smile along with our trilogy of leads, even when the tone jumps to the shockingly tragic.

--Brad

A Fistful of Warm Bodies! (Brad's Picks)

Just when you think they've run out of fresh brains, zombie audiences are forced to feed on the undead teen romance.  Gross.  But weirder for me is that I'm actually interested...now if only it got super necropheliac disgusting, but I somehow doubt it.  Anyway - Forget Zombies!  I'm tired of talking about them.  Let's talk about our favorite cinematic barbecues instead!

5.  Cropsey (The Burning):  Freddy Krueger might seem like the obvious choice when it comes to horribly burned child murders run amuck, but for my money Cropsey is just a touch ickier in the cooked face department.  A group of campers attempt to scare the old weirdo caretaker & the result is the incredible melting manstrosity.  Five years later Cropsey awakens and sets out for some fiery revenge - with the added bonus of garden sheer impaling.  Imagine Friday the 13th with less polish - yikes, right?  The Burning is a sick little gem filled with twisted kills and oddball casting choices (Fischer Stevens!  Jason Alexander!); strictly B (um...) D Movie territory, but an essential entry in the lesser known slashers.

4.  The Creature (Creature From The Black Lagoon):  It's quick.  Blink and you'll miss it.  But when The Creature oversteps his bounds on man's boat he gets his reptilian ass set ablaze.  Just think of stuntman, Ben Chapman, already covered in a cumbersome suit of rubber and now imagine that suit melting around his flesh.  Nasty business, fire stunts.  But they sure do look cool.

3.  The Unkillable Chev Chelios (Crank 2 - High Voltage):  There is just no topping the climax of Crank 2.  After surviving his skyfall execution of the first film, Jason Statham charges through the sequel as rage personified.  It all builds to the beachfront massacre - where Chev's army of prostitutes and homosexual bikers machine gun it out with the pickled head of Ricky Verona and the ferret obsessed Cliffton Collins Jr.  It's absolutely bonkers and must be seen to be believed - when The Stath is ignited he's more than happy to take the licks.

2.  The Bennings Thing (The Thing):  This is the first fire effect I ever remember seeing.  And it's still as effective today as it was in '82.  After MacReady and the gang exterminate the horrors of the dog kennel, they quickly discover that one of their own (poor moaning Bennings) has been infected/transformed by the alien creature.  This is the turning point in the film - Trust No One.  And burn 'em all.

1.  Sergeant Howie (The Wicker Man):  It's rough being a righteous virgin on an island full of sun worshipping pagans.  First they confound the hell outta you with their the wall thumping nudity of Britt Ekland then they wrap you in wicker and light your ass on fire.  Well, at least he didn't get Nicolas Cage's Bees.

--Brad

A Fistful of Warm Bodies! (Matt’s Picks)

    Warm Bodies, huh?  The spark of life kindled in the body of a zombie isn’t all that warm.  And while Steven Seagal may have the Fire Down Below and Prodigy may indeed feature a confessed arsonist, I think we at In the Mouth of Dorkness know a little something about warm bodies.  How about these?

5. Sam Kramer (Spontaneous Combustion):  Our young hero hides a dark secret in his genes that even he’s not aware of.  The temperature is rising and he’s getting a bit hot under the collar.

4. Till Lindemann (Rammstein Live Aus Berlin):  How many songs has Norah Jones done while on fire?  Frankly, any member of the band could probably make this list, as I think each one gets set on fire at least once per performance.

3. Soup Face (The Slammin’ Salmon):  She’s offending the Tokyokin guests!

2. The Witch (Conan the Barbarian):  All she had to say was ‘Zamora,’ but no; she’s gotta go all shape-changing and biting.  At some point, throwing the bitch in the fire was the only real option.

1.  Frank (Return of the Living Dead):  He just wants to go home to see his wife.  But a night filled with punks, Bert and Ernie, split dogs, the Tar Man, and Indian farmed skeletons can’t end well.  But our hero knows what to do, and how to keep the evil inside him from getting to anyone else.

"Watch your mouth if you like this job!"

-Matt