Showing posts with label Mark Wahlberg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark Wahlberg. Show all posts
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Brad's Week in Dork! (1/12/14-1/18/14)
Wow, I really knocked em out this week. A double feature of Dr. Strangelove & Buckaroo Banzai at The Alamo on Sunday launched me into a Peter Weller-A-Thon I was not expecting to partake. But then the retail plague took over my life, and I pretty much bunkered down in the apartment, and did nothing else except watch movies. Not too different from my normal day to day activities, just accelerated. Next week I need to get back to my comics, gotta finish Sailor Twain for book club, and Grant Morrison's Animal Man is singing her siren song.
Dr. Strangelove Or - How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb: Yikes. This is one angry film. Behind every snarky laugh, or straight up goofy punchline, you can feel the daggers of Stanley Kubrick's white hot rage. Not at the (doomsday) machine, but at the careless dolts who run it. The underground politicians, the meek military minions who should know better, the marching order pilots with the bomb between their legs - there are a million and one scenarios that could save us from total annihilation, but we can't be bothered to back down. Dr Strangelove is a tremendously silly movie with bumbling fools named Jack D Ripper & Bat Guano helping our way to THE END, but every chuckle is accompanied by a pang of guilt. On this latest rewatch I was reminded of the recent assault from Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street. Both films are comedies by way of auteur wrath - searing condemnations against America's head-in-the-sand populace. No wonder Strangelove drove The Wife to tears, as the credits rolled she could not bring her self to eek one giggle while a Nazi Scientists sprung to life, and mushroom clouds littered the landscape. Hi-Larious? God no. But...yes.
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension: James Bond. Indiana Jones. Buckaroo Banzai. The holy trinity of cool. These are the guys 8 year old Brad wanted to grow up to be, role models for my developing morality and lady killer destiny. The thing is though, he may not be as popular these days, but Buckaroo Banzai has Bond & Jones beat in the coolness department. Not just a super spy or a nazi smashing archeologist (although I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Banzai's done a bit of that too), Buckaroo is a bestselling rock 'n' roll scientist neurosurgeon adventurer who breaks dimensional barriers as easy as ringing a bell. Possibly the first film to truly understand the appeal of a comic book universe, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai drops its audience into its wild world of Red Lectoids & watermelons, and lets you catch up rather than explaining its peculiarities. That's a lesson more movies should learn; it's not about the origin, it's about the hero in the thick of it, whether it's Buckaroo Banzai, James Bond, Indiana Jones, Superman, Spider-Man, or The Wolverine. So, is the world finally ready for a rebooted Buckaroo Banzai Against The World Crime League? Probably not. The 1980s seems like the only decade to properly spring such oddball fruit, but I'm willing to watch if you're will to try Hollywood.
Leviathan: Such a wannabe film. John Carpenter's The Thing + James Cameron's Aliens = nice try. But it's fun to watch George P Cosmatos work out his aspirations. Peter Weller is obviously the best thing about this movie - his One Minute Manager struggling to handle his asshole minions (I'm looking at your Daniel Stern!), and that's before the fishy genetic monstrosity starts downsizing the staff. It's a goofy movie with an obviously shoddy practical effect hiding in the shadows, but there is enough charm in the players to make Leviathan a passable movie night. The question remains, is Deep Star Six the superior aquatic retread? It's been a decade or two, but I think I'll side with Leviathan - gotta snag Deep Star for the rewatch.
Robocop: "Somewhere there is a crime happening." How many times have I watched Robocop? 50? 100? A lot is the answer. I don't even know how to talk about it anymore. It's hilarious. It's badass. It's genius. Paul Verhoeven directed both a sendup of consumerism and a righteous action film filled with the best bloodwork of the 1980s. Kurtwood Smith and his gang of tyrants are possibly the scariest batch of hoods in cinema history, and I find it impossible to separate myself from the first time I saw them butcher Officer Murphy with their cackling shotgun fire. It's the first murder on screen that truly disturbed me as a child, and for years I could not watch the movie without fastforwarding through the opening execution. I don't know what Jose Padilha's remake has to offer, but a PG-13 shoot 'em up seems to miss the point of Verhoeven's massacre. Robocop is a heightened attack on Gordon Gecko's America, and if you loose yourself in the torrents of red, you might miss the giant middle finger stretching out from the Netherlands. But it is also undeniably a glorious genre picture with cyborgs and CEOs.
Of Unknown Origin: Certainly one of the strangest forgotten gems of yesteryear. Peter Weller is Bart Hughes, a yuppie businessman climbing the corporate ladder while basking in the success of his recent town house renovation. Everything is just gravy until a beastly little rat tears a hole in his dishwasher's drainage line. A small beginning that quickly escalates to all out war between vermin and man. Don't believe the trailers or the poster. Yes, this is a horror film. But there is not mutant monster here. No supernatural terror. The villain here is simply an NYC rat and Peter Weller's deteriorating sanity. As much as I enjoy films like Tombstone, Cobra, Leviathan, and First Blood Part II, Of Unknown Origin is George P Cosmatos's masterpiece. This is a claustrophobic siege film in which the terror burrows up from within, the rat in the walls as well as the one nibbling inside Weller's brain. Another film scratching at the villainy of greed, and possibly the best character to showcase Weller's talent - the entire film thrives on his ability to crumble in front of us. No one talks about Of Unknown Origin, but now is the time for its moment in the sun. The DVD is long out of print, but you can snag one pretty much anywhere for less than 10 bucks. It's worth the blind buy.
Lone Survivor: This is a tough movie. And it sparks complicated emotions from this viewer. It's a helluva story. Based on the book by Marcus Luttrell and ghostwriter Patrick Robinson, four Navy seals battle it out against a hundred Taliban soldiers in the mountains of the Kunar provence, after they release a shepherd and his two sons from their custody. The film is absolutely punishing. Obviously, the title is a spoiler, and you go into the story knowing that these guys are doomed. It's nearly a sadomasochistic act waiting and watching these guys catch bullets in their bodies and crash down the mountainside. My heart was in my throat for the entire film, but when the Afghan Villagers took up arms against the Taliban I suddenly felt the pangs of the "Based On A True Story" hypocrisy. All films are fiction. Whether their narrative or documentary. A camera is present, so is a storyteller. There might be truth to be found, but Lone Survivor is not a FACT, and it bothers me when people react to "True Stories" as Truth. The machine gunning villagers just felt wrong, and the movie absolutely fell apart for me at that point. Marcus Luttrell committed a noble act in bringing this story to the public. He wanted to tell the story of those friends he left on the mountain. But it's also big business now. He's making a lot of money on this tragedy, and however virtuous his action may be, that collection of wealth bothers me a little. And the liberties the film takes nag on me. The film Lone Survivor is certainly a rousing saga of military triumph, and I'm weary of criticizing something that has become so (wrongfully) politically charged. But Lone Survivor is a fiction - like Saving Private Ryan, The Dirty Dozen, and Battleship. Filmmaker Peter Berg seriously loves and respects the armed forces, so do I, but I'm reaching a point where our blind belief in the True Story distracts from what should simply be a Good Story. And I recognize this as a weird (possibly hypocritical) point of view coming from the guy who put Pain & Gain on his Top Ten Films last year. Like I said at the start, complicated emotions here.
Bottle Rocket: In anticipation of the March release of The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Wife and I decided to work our way through Wes Anderson's films in chronological order. She had never seen Bottle Rocket before, and my last (& only) experience with Anderson's first movie was a negative one. Not sure what my initial problem was, but on this second go-round I really took to Luke Wilson's romantic plight - it feels like a dry run on to the mentally fragile heartache found later in The Royal Tenenbaums. Is there another actor out there who can pull of Sweet as perfectly as Luke Wilson? Every expression, a bird's broken wing. Owen Wilson is also fantastic as the film's bad influence. He's an imp, a sad creature desperate to remain attached to his childhood buddy. I'll take a million Dignans over one You, Me, & Durpee. It's impressive how well formed Wes Anderson's world already is in this first venture into filmmaking, even when he's still working out his artificial world - the slomo, the soundtrack layering, the color palette. Some herky jerky story beats, but Bottle Rocket succeeds more often than it fails.
You're Next: John Carpenter's name gets thrown around a lot when talking about this festival crowd pleaser, but it's less Michael Myers then it is Assault on Precinct 13. What begins as a run-of-the-mill stalk & slash cabin film quickly transforms into a root 'em, toot 'em table-turner in which Sharni Vinson steps up to the predatory challenge. In that regard, the film actually feels like a tip of the hat to Ridley Scott's Alien - a haunted house picture in which the likely heroes are dispatched and the audience is left with one badass Final Girl to cheer on. You're Next is not a peek-from-the-cover horror, it's an action fist-pumper worthy of your raucous popcorn screams.
Short Term 12: VODed this in the middle of the week, and I'm left curious as to why this film ranked at the top of several critic's Best Lists last year. Brie Larson is the lead supervisor of a residential treatment facility, not quite juvenile detention, and certainly not a hospital. Got a problem child? Dump 'em here. Shortly after college I spent some time teaching English & Creative Writing at a private school for troubled kids, and I felt a lot of those frustration pangs rise to the surface while watching this movie. However, I never connected with Larson's relationship troubles or her twenty something worries. I don't flat out reject this film the way I did Frances Ha, but I also recognize that the psychological troubles of youth do not interest me anymore (if they ever did). There is sweetness in this story, and some strong performances. It probably is Brie Larson's best work to date and I look forward to future roles.
Thief: "Lie to no one." After penning some solid teleplays for shows like Starsky & Hutch and Police Story, Michael Mann entered cinemaland with a straight up crime classic. James Caan's journeyman thief has a lot in common with Richard Stark's Parker series - he's just there for the job. Don't get in his way, and he'll pay you no nevermind. Stand between him and his score, or him and prison, and you'll get dropped quick. Mann is obviously entranced by the process of burglary, and his camera lingers on the minutia of the job. The director is obsessed with getting the fiction right. He goes as far as placing known thieves in the roles of detectives, and actual Chicago cops in the roles of henchmen (the most famous being Dennis Farina). The film is slick as hell, with some gorgeous night shooting that tingles with Tangerine Dream's neon synth score. I've seen this film a handful of times, but the 4K Restoration on the new Criterion Blu Ray reveals an array of details I'd never noticed before (ex. Caan's sideburn scar), and it's essential for fans of the underworld subgenre.
Elite Squad - The Enemy Within: Picking up several years after the first film, Wagner Moura is still heading up Rio De Janeiro's Elite Squad despite a dissolved marriage and a son drifting into liberal ideology. His second in command Andre Ramiro is a Frankenstein Monster of sorts, and when a prison riot escalates into a quick-trigger assassination the Brazilian people turn against Moura's necessary fascism. Just when you though Rio was a Dante-like Inferno, the government corruption sinks to new horrific depths, and no white shining morality goes unscathed. The Enemy Within is a solid sequel to the original horror show, but I feel about it the same way I feel about The Godfather Part II - I got the gist in the first film, and I pretty much already saw where this film was going to take its demons after the original's credits rolled. Again, the message being, don't go to Rio.
Twenty Feet From Stardom: For the first time ever, I have already seen all of the Best Picture films nominated for the Academy Awards. The only categories I need to bone up on are Best Actress & Supporting Actress (gotta see August: Osage County), Best Animated Film (haven't seen a single nom), and just two films in the Best Documentary Category - both of which I tackled this week. Twenty Feet From Stardom is a fluffy, glorified VH1 Behind The Music about the unsung background singers behind Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, Ray Charles, etc. It's fun enough. Lethal Weapon's Darlene Love naturally being the highlight for me. However, the idea that this is the frontrunner, when powerhouse docs like The Act of Killing & The Square (see below) are standing next to it seems like another idiotic example of America's head-in-the-sand mentality. After all, another feel-good musical, Searching For Sugarman, took home the gold guy instead of the far superior, socially conscious docs like 5 Broken Cameras & How To Survive A Plague.
The Driver: "I'm going to catch the cowboy that's never been caught...dessssspperado..." Ryan O'Neal is an impossible to catch getaway driver who captures the dogged determination of police detective Bruce Dern after one too many successful robberies. Too bad Dern is not the star. His wildman cuckoo routine is endlessly watchable, but O'Neal is a big sack of human boredom. His dead eyed stares are less cool then they are annoyingly dull. The man has no emotion. He drifts through the screenplay, playing googoo eyes with the mysteriously sultry Isabelle Adjani, but things don't get exciting until he hands the reigns over to the stunt drivers. Walter Hill knows how to crash a car. When the engines are racing, and the various array of cardboard boxes are getting smashed, The Driver is certainly watchable. And again, Bruce Dern spitting foul hate and screaming whacko at his mollycoddle partner is delightful. Watch his movie, ignore O'Neal's, and you can have a good time with The Driver.
A Fantastic Fear of Everything: Simon Pegg plays a disgraced children's author who abandons talking hedgehogs for London's most vile serial killers. Unfortunately, his exploration of the Jack The Rippers of this world has driven him into a catatonic state of agoraphobia (as well as various other maladies). Who doesn't love Simon Pegg? Assholes. But I gotta admit that he makes poor picture choices outside of his Edgar Wright pairings (Star Trek & Paul not withstanding). A Fantastic Fear of Everything has its moments thanks to Pegg's commitment to fear, but the story deteriorates into a mediocre mystery involving launderettes and finger chopping. I wanted to love it, but after I finish typing this sentence, the film will most likely drop from my memory immediately.
The Square: In 2011, Egyptian filmmaker Jehane Noujaim was determined to document the people's revolution, in which thousands of Christians & Muslims gathered in the Tahrir Square in Cairo in an effort to overthrow President Hosni Mubarak. But once they succeed...The King Is Dead, Long Live The King. Noujaim had several years to record these events, and The Square practically takes us up to the present day, and thanks to Netflix it can stream into your home tonight. Idealists find their cause shaken, but not shattered. What is victory? What is loss? It's a powerful piece of journalism, and if not for the revelatory experience that is The Act of Killing, I'd give Oscar to The Square.
Drive: "You look like you're hard to work with." What is this? My tenth rewatch? Sounds about right. This time around I can't help but see the influence of both The Driver & Thief. The opening scene is a straight up lifted from Walter Hill, and Ryan Gosling's anonymous wheelman has the facebashing meanness of James Caan mixed with Ryan O'Neal's don't-give-a-shit blankness. Drive is homage cinema, and I'm not sure it quite elevates it the way a Tarantino film can sometime achieve. But it's slick, cool, and twisted. It respects its characters enough to take them through the black hole of violence and leave them appropriately shattered. Until that last breath in the second to last shot. Hope? In a Refn picture??? Yep. This is also my first time through the film post-Breaking Bad & Inside Llewyn Davis, so I found myself paying close attention to both Bryan Cranston & Oscar Isaac. Cranston's gimpy Shannon is light years away from Walter White, a soft low-rent entrepreneur who shakes hands with all the wrong people. Almost from the moment he walks on screen you know he's fish bait. Isaac's reformed convict is just a puppy dog. It's a cliche story the audience doesn't bother to sympathize with because it's simply the catalyst to spring Gosling's Driver into action. Still, I believe every word he says at his Welcome Home party. Drive is a fun crime film. But it's no Only God Forgives, a film that currently ranks at the top of Refn's work for me.
The Dark Knight Trilogy: "There are many forms of immortality." Are you ready? Christopher Nolan's Batman Saga is my absolute favorite cinematic trilogy. Sorry to Star Wars, The Godfather, and The Lord of the Rings. All fine films, but The Dark Knight Trilogy is the only set of films that takes its material as seriously as the comic books. This is Frank Miller's world, Neal Adams's world, Jeph Loeb's world, etc, etc. Batman Begins is still my favorite of the batch. It's the only story (including comic books and animated series) to truly detail the psychology of Bruce Wayne. The use of fear is exceptional - young Bruce's fear of bats essentially kills his parents, that fear becomes his weapon, and Ra's Al Ghul uses it to assault the people of Gotham. Of course the Scarecrow has to be involved. The Dark Knight is the only comic book film to up the villain ante and succeed. The Joker is Gotham's response to the presence of The Bat Man and the dream of Harvey Dent's savior smashing upon the rocks. And The Dark Knight Rises takes the saga to its epic heights with the siege of the city dropping its players into a Dickensonian nightmare. The films are not without their flaws, like any trilogy, but I can forgive the exposition and the questionable shakey cam battles and even the leaps in logic. I am simply thankful for the gravitas Nolan grants these characters. An epic worthy of David Lean.
--Brad
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Transformers - Age of Extinction
One Summer down, time to start preparing for the next one. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a Transformers apologist (I don't really believe in Guilty Pleasures - Own Your Love!), but as much as I recognize the problems of the Michael Bay trilogy, I really just get giddy watching all the overwrought CG catastrophe. And I hear this next one has Dinobots. DINOBOTS!!!!!!! Yes! And the trade of Shia LaBeouf for Mark Wahlberg is decent - sure, The Rock would have been better but Dwayne can't save every franchise.
--Brad
Monday, August 26, 2013
New Release Tuesday!!! (8/27/13)
The day has finally arrived. Forget all this Affleck/Batman folderol. I Come In Peace is now available thanks to the good folks over at Shout Factory. They are truly doing the Lord's work, taking our troubled minds off the Gotham City blues. Life is good again. Plus, a whole batch of new & old classics. Q!!!!!!!
MUST BUY DVD OF THE WEEK!
Dark Angel: In 1990 I was riding high from a string of spectacular Dolph Lundgren appearances. Obviously, my life was forever altered by Rocky IV ("I Must Break You"), and that titanic Russian (uh-hum, Swede) made hay while the sun shined with such VHS bottom feeders like Masters of the Universe, Red Scorpion, and The Punisher. However, the piece de resistance was the whackjob buddy cop sci-fi actioner I Come In Peace aka Dark Angel. An evil drug dealing alien lands in Houston, Texas to harvest humans of a deadly intergalactic narcotic. This white mullet demon takes down a space cop hot in pursuit and it's up to Dolph Lundgren's no-nonsense detective to save the human race. Of course, he's gonna need the help of Brian Benben's by-the-book G-Man if we want a snowball's chance of surviving this Reagan-ocalypse. I actually watched this a couple months back on VOD, and it's certainly not as brilliant as my pre-teen brain once made it, but at the same time, I Come In Peace is too damn weird not to own.
BUY!
Pain & Gain: Certainly one of the few films released this year I'm comfortable claiming to be a favorite, but that very fact kinda boggles the brain. I've always enjoyed Michael Bay's blunt mixture of polish and crude adolescence. Bad Boys II, The Rock, Transformers - I'll go down defending those flicks, and dammit if Pain & Gain isn't his masterpiece. His pornographer's eye and dimwit humor fit perfectly with this Darwin Award winning crime caper. Too bad it's all based on some really heinous evil, as this true story makeover can leave a bad taste in your mouth if you let it. The trick is to ignore the "Based On True Events" sticker. The Rock's psychotic Jesus freak goes a long way in making that happen.
To Be Or Not To Be: Like so many Criterion releases, I've never seen this one but I most certainly want to get acquainted. Shakespeare vs. The Nazis and all done for laughs! Yes, please. But don't take my world for it, just listen to Joe Dante's Trailers From Hell.
Q - The Winged Serpent: An absolute staple of the Gullickson household, and a movie that is guaranteed to transform any child into a Movie Monster Maniac. David Carradine, Michael Moriarty, and Richard Roundtree team-up to take down a real-deal dragon terrorizing the skies of New York City. It's absurd how this winged beast hides from the authorities for the first 2/3rds of the movie, but once the screenplay gives the beast free reign of the skyline, the movie nails all the proper B-Movie requirements. It's been too long since I've taken Q for a spin and I look forward to consuming it in rich, grimy high definition.
RENT!
Pawn Shop Chronicles: I really do love Wayne Kramer's Running Scared. The Cooler is great too, but Running Scared is a special brand of crazy not often replicated in the cinematic universe. After the director stumbled with the boring art house realism of Crossing Over, he returned to an absurdist landscape that reaches for broad comedy rather than settling on the just plain odd. I caught this just after Comic Con, and all I can say is.....whaaaaaa? Pawn Shop Chronicles is nearly an anthology film centered around Vincent D'Onofrio's store and the varied customers that pass through. Paul Walker is a redneck dimwit attempting to overthrow Norman Reedus' meth kingdom. Matt Dillon is a husband in search of his wife's killer (played possibly by the Sin City creepy Elijah Wood). Brendan Fraser is a KKK inspired Elvis impersonator who encounters Satan himself at the crossroads. And Thomas Jane might be Jesus. Sure, it's kooky, but is it good? I don't think so. If you had a problem with the tonal shifts of Pain & Gain than you'll absolutely loose your mind with rage here. But I certainly had fun gawking at the train wreck.
AVOID!
The Great Gatsby: I think if Baz Luhrmann had just made his uproarious 20s flapper movie than I would have absolutely loved it, but his aesthetic just never jived with the source material. I hear what you're saying, but Brad you should not be so beholden to an American Classic and there is always room for interpretation. Ha! Show's what you know, I don't give a hoot about the AP English snoozefest. I just think that Fitzgerald's plot gets in the way of Luhrmann's style, and there was probably a pretty rocking music video at the center of this drab endeavor.
--Brad
Monday, April 29, 2013
Brad's Week In Dork! (4/21/13-4/27/13)
Yes, I stalled on the Martin Scorsese-a-thon. No real reason. Just haven't tracked down a copy of New York, New York yet. Looks like I might have to dive deep and purchase the blu ray to make that happen. But the rest of the week wasn't that crazy. I found myself in a work stretch of 7 days, coming home and not really wanting to blitz through cinema. I read a good batch of comics, but nothing I really want to focus on here. The big news came from the big screen. Pain & Gain (thanks mostly to The Rock) earned a spot as my second favorite film of 2013 so far (yes, Steven Soderbergh's Side Effects still reigns supreme and I find that so completely strange). But both Oblivion & Lords of Salem proved to be interesting theatrical experiences, but also films I just couldn't back fully. I'm still waiting for that Great Movie. Iron Man 3 hits next weekend, fingers crossed for flawless Summer entertainment.
Animal Man - The Hunt & Animal vs. Man: Running side-by-side with Scott Snyder's Swamp Thing, but where Alec Holland battles The Rot from the The Green side, stuntman turned super hero Buddy Baker battles the decaying force from the side of The Red. Green = plant lifeforce. Red = animal lifeforce. The big difference here is that where Snyder is completely & utterly faithful to the Saga that came before (you cannot ignore Alan Moore), writer Jeff Lemire has little interest in following Grant Morrison's footsteps. Morrison's fourth wall shattering comic is written off as nothing more than a dream. Lemire's Animal Man is as new as The New 52. And that is absolutely not a bad thing. The first tradepaperback centers around his daughter Maxine taking on the powers of The Red - after she resurrects the corpses of all the neighborhood pets. Their journey takes them into the realm where Animal Man's powers began and together they discover the real deal behind Buddy's origin as well as the invading force of The Rot. The second tradepaperback takes Buddy & family on the road with three servants of The Rot chasing their tail. Hellblazer John Constantine appears to point Buddy in the direction of The Swamp Thing, and the two books rush towards each other. Lemire relishes the grotesque, taking full advantage of artists Travel Foreman & Steve Pugh. These guys know gross. They've been waiting their whole careers for The Rot. Twisted creatures covered in tumors, claws, tentacles, and leaking blood & puss. You want monsters (and who doesn't want monsters?) then you'll get your fill on Animal Man. The vaults & crypts of EC Comics are not locked shut, but are thrown wide open in The New 52. Take a peak.
Oblivion: "That is one pissed off weapon!" Joseph Kosinski follows up the underrated Tron Legacy with this post-apocalyptic mystery reminiscent of...well, Everything. Planet of the Apes, Alien, 2001, Outland, Zardoz, Moon, Wall-E, and I Am Legend (the book as well as all 3 adaptations). As a science-fiction film about science-fiction films it's a good enough time at the movies. Tom Cruise fights for the users; the human race has fled to Titan after a cataclysmic war with The Scavengers left Mother Earth decimated. He's a worker bee. Looking after the drones that guard the hydro towers converting what's left of Earth's natural resources. Don't want to get too much into spoiler territory here, but whatever the revelations they're too familiar to be exciting. Tom Cruise makes it work though. The man knows earnest. His scowls & shouts can pretty much sell any ridiculous sci-fi trope. Doesn't hurt either when Morgan Freeman pops by to add an extra layer of exposition. Production design is the real king of the film. From the sweeping icelandic landscapes to the industrial Scav bunkers, the world of Oblivion feels legit even when the story settles on homage.
The Lords of Salem: For the first ten minutes I thought I was going to love this movie. The opening scene depicting the Satanic Rights of Meg Foster's coven are so delightfully Devil's Rain, and I was hopeful that Rob Zombie's latest would offer another grande trip down genre memory lane. After all, The Devil's Rejects is a perfect piece of 70s exploitation and the gore hound's crown jewel. Then the misses shows up. And Sheri Moon Zombie is not the actress this movie needed. Her disc jockey banter grinds the film to a halt. Jeff Daniel Phillips, Ken Foree, & Sheri Moon - just a couple of chums chuckling it up with absolutely zero chemistry. But every moment Meg Foster is on screen with her wretched staring contests is utterly unnerving. And when Dee Wallace teeny boppers her way through the black rights, The Lords of Salem is a barrel of dead monkeys. Rob Zombie is an expert at showcasing nonsensical dream imagery - he makes a great music video. Goats. Neon Crosses. Smoke banks. Jiggly mutant midgets. Satan worshiping werewolves. When he relishes in the blasphemy The Lords of Salem is a creepy, wrong-headed enchantment.
Django Unchained: I just can't stay away. Six watches. I know I said this last week, but this is definitely my favorite of the Tarantino flicks so far. You may be able to argue the superior quality of both Jackie Brown & Inglourious Basterds, but Django Unchained is the flick QT made for Brad. Yeah, it's a Western or Southern - whatever. So already you're playing in my favorite genre. But then you add the hero's quest against the backdrop of America's great shame, and the resulting rage is not just cathartic but highly entertaining. Tarantino drags his audience through the muck and filth of history, a horrendous reminder, but when Django stands victorious in front of an exploded plantation I am on my feet in twisted joy. It's a brutal watch, but a necessary one. Entertainment as social conscious.
Pain & Gain: Shave 30 minutes from the runtime and we might have had the first great film of 2013. It's certainly the most captivating performance from The Rock to ever assault an audience. His Paul Doyle is a born again cokefiend convict who falls in with the Sun Gym Gang when The Church grabs for his manbits instead of his eternal soul. When rags goes to riches and riches to cocaine, The Rock goes full demento, acting to the heavens and achieving comic genius. Finally, an actor who understands his Baysplosion surroundings. And as he's proven in Ted & The Other Guys, Mark Wahlberg only excels when he's wrapped in the absurd. His orgasmic slow motion expressions are almost as entertaining as The Rock's green inked beard & toeless panic. Yes, Michael Bay's sophomoric, homophobic, misogynistic comedy has finally found a place in this "True Story" attack on the American Dream. Should we forgive him now for those Transformer balls dangling over John Turturro's head? Hell no. It just so happens that Bay's indulgences fit swimmingly into Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely's screenplay. The Rock, Walhberg, and Anthony Mackie are a tremendous trilogy of dunces and it's a hoot to see them stumble into the atrocities resulting from their criminal delusions of grandeur. But should such a gross and tragic "True Story" be a hoot? It's a little awkward to laugh at The Rock grilling severed hands on his BBQ when THE IS STILL A TRUE STORY crawls across the screen. It is a messed up and bizarre crime spree that is also funny as hell. Darwin Awards couldn't possibly do these dolts justice. Pain & Gain certainly doesn't idolize the dimwits, but the reality makes my enjoyment a little complicated if not distressing.
Creation Entertainment's Official Star Trek Convention - Cherry Hill, NJ: After work on Friday, The Wife & I braved DC traffic to travel north to the strip malls of sunny New Jersey. There, tucked away in a corner of the Cherry Hill Crowne Plaza, Creation Entertainment was hosting their Official East Coast Star Trek Convention. This was Lisa's first Trekkie Con and I was kinda hoping for something epic, but Jersey doesn't do epic. Billed as the 20 year celebration of Deep Space Nine, the con was little more than a dozen Vendor tables & a sprinkling of Trek Celebrities. The big names were Avery Brooks (Capt. Sisko), Michael Dorn (Worf), Gates McFadden (Dr. Crusher), Nana Visitor (Major Kira), Rene Auberjonois (Constable Odo), and Armin Shimerman (Quark). They rotated the tables, no one celebrity sticking out through the entirety of the convention, and for the most part we were happy with our awkward fandom interactions. Lisa chatted vegan lifestyles with Dorn. Nana Visitor complemented us on our matching Niners ballcaps (aren't we adorable!). And Rene Auberjonois was very pleasant in accepting Lisa's full-on Boston Legal lovefest. Every couple of hours one of them would take the stage for storytime. Nana Visitor revealed Odo as her best DS9 lover "Just think of the shape shifting possibilities." Cirroc Lofton droned on about his encounter with The Ark of the Covenant in Ethiopia, refusing to take questions from the crowd. Michael Dorn chanted ballbreaking lies of Gates McFadden stripping for the cast of TNG. And Avery Brooks managed to take a bevy of questions, but offered no answers. The man is wonderfully jazzy & zen, and probably bat shit crazy. "Either you're a god or you're not. I'm a human being...relationship with the divine...it doesn't change me. I'm not fooled! I still see you out there!" Whoa. Anyway, it was a hotel con. Quiet. Odd. More expensive than you'd like. But another fun weekend in the weird world of dorkery.
--Brad
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