Matt’s Week in Dork! (8/10/14-8/16/14)

    A light week on movies.  Actually, kinda light on everything dork related.  Didn’t even finish any books or read any comics.  No real excuse.  Just busy with other things.

Guardians of the Galaxy:  A fun second viewing.  That’s pretty much how I’d describe this film.  Fun.  It’s wild and weird and goofy.  Great soundtrack, crowd pleasing, humorous, and adventurous.  A good time at the theater.

Speed Racer:  I’ve ranted about this film time and again.  I love it.  As a Kung Fu film, as a family film, as a Technicolor mad-machine of weirdness.  Not for the hipster.  Not for the cynic.  For those with hearts open.  Awesome.

To Be or Not To Be:  I just couldn’t get into this film.  There are some funny bits, and some sad bits.  And I know it was largely about facing the demons so many European refugees faced when fleeing the Nazis.  So, to a degree, I feel bad about not giving a crap.  Of the Ernst Lubitsch films I’ve seen so far, this was by far the weakest.

    In my ongoing quest to destroy and rebuild Ben’s psyche into a film ubermensch, I subjected him to the film equivalent of psychotropic drugs, Beyond the Black Rainbow.  I always feel like I’ve done my job when he says some permutation of “that’s the weirdest movie I’ve seen.”  So, success!

Beyond the Black Rainbow:  One weird-ass movie.  An homage to all those awesome, late 70s/early 80s sci-fi/horror films by the likes of John Carpenter and David Cronnenberg, it’s unsettling and odd.  It’s one of my favorite films of recent years, in part because it captures so well the feel of the movies I loved and was scared of when I was a lad.

Ironclad: Battle For Blood:  Ugh.  This features some of the most egregious abuse of shaky-cam footage I’ve ever seen.  And that’s saying something.  The script, the acting, the everything.  It sucks.  I’m all for medieval movies, even on a low budget, but this is cheap.  But at least there’s a scene where a guy gets raped, and the movie seems to be saying it was a good thing and he liked it.

You got red on you.

    Saturday, Rebecca and I headed into DC, where we grabbed a quick bite to eat at Shake Shack.  Then headed over to the National Portrait Gallery to watch Buster Keaton’s College, featuring Andrew Greene accompanying on the piano.  It was an excellent showing, with a good and varied crowd.  DC continues to be full of surprises and wonderful little opportunities.  On the way back, I did a bit of exploring, taking the Blue Line out to Old Town Alexandria, then a bus back home.  I found a few places I’d like to check out, but overall that corridor seems to be pretty bland.

College:  If you can get past the scene where Buster Keaton does blackface, which is…um…pretty awful, this movie is extremely enjoyable.  It’s cute, with lots of darned fine physical comedy.  Buster Keaton has a weird sort of deadpan charm that makes him oddly loveable, even when he’s being a bumbling dolt.

    By chance, I tuned in to TCM and caught their Essentials film of the week, a Hitchcock thriller I’d been wanting to see for some time, Foreign Correspondent.

Foreign Correspondent:  Solid Hitchcock, with all the clever dialog, tension, and paranoia.  I love the cast, with even thugs being played by excellent folks.  Beautifully shot, as usual.  Though about WWII, it feels very Cold War to me.  But then, as it takes place before war is declared, I guess that makes sense.  The finale is really crazy.

Brothers Five:  Plenty of fighting and camera zooms in this enjoyable, if slightly silly, Kung Fu fighter.  Cheng Pei-Pei gathers five lost brothers to avenge their father’s death.  There’s a lot of weapon fighting in this one, which I like.  And there are some pretty darned cool bits.  There are better films from the Shaw Brothers, but this one is pretty good.

    That’s pretty much it.  Though I have been listening to a lot of David Bowie.  Loaded up Low, Space Oddity, Hunky Dory, and Aladdin Sane.  Good stuff.

-Matthew J. Constantine

What I’m Listening To (3/2/14)

    Though I still find myself listening to M.I.A. while riding the bus, I’ve been listening to a bunch of other stuff while at home.  Due in part to starting up a Call of Cthulhu game, and because I like it, I’ve been cycling through a lot of 20s music, from some Jelly Roll Morton to Eddie Cantor to Josephine Baker.  I knew I had a good deal of music from the time, but I was surprised how easy it was to assemble a 4 hour playlist, especially considering many of the songs are rather short.  Along with the 20s music (some of it 30s), I raided my soundtrack collection, pulling tunes from Cloud Atlas, The Cell, and even Once Upon a Time in the West.  And I’ve been on YouTube listening to some weird electronica in the vein of the sadly unavailable Beyond the Black Rainbow soundtrack.  Black Mountain and Sinoia Caves both share musicians in some complicated Canadian way I don’t understand.  But there are traces of the Black Rainbow sound in there.  More investigation is needed.

    So, here are some of the things I’m listening to this week.

Artist: Die Antwoord
Album: $O$
    Somehow, I stumbled across this group in my net crawling, and found something about them challenging and appealing.  Their Zef style is so off-putting, yet taps into that 80s Cyberpunk spirit I love so much.  "The Street finds its own uses for things."  And the dirty, in your face, middle finger waving music kept me listening.  Are they good?  I don’t think so.  But darn it if some of their tunes aren’t aggressively catchy.  In Your Face, Enter the Ninja, Rich Bitch, and Doos Dronk are all infectious.  And the others keep you going from track to track.  Ninja is actually a pretty good rapper, and Yo-Landi’s weirdass singing works well with the whole package.  This isn’t going to be for everyone.  Even for fans of rap (I’m generally not among them), this stuff is pretty crazy.  This is music I could imagine being performed in a Bartertown bar, with Master-Blaster rocking out in the corner.

Artist: St. Vincent
Album: St. Vincent
    I first found St. Vincent a few years back as a blind buy, and I really enjoyed the album I picked up (Actor).  It reminded me a bit of Laurie Anderson, but there was certainly a unique quality.  Over the last couple years, I’ve picked up more albums (Marry Me, Strange Mercy, and the David Byrne collaboration Love the Giant).  As I listened to more and more of her music, I began to put her in with Devo and well, David Byrne and Talking Heads.  Her music is more experimental and challenging than a simple singer/songwriter.  This is Nerd Rock.  So last week, she put out a new album, the self titled St. Vincent.  Listening to it, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the recent Devo album Something for Everybody.  She even deals with the kinds of emotional dissonance of the digital age Devo touches on.  I’ve listened to the album a couple times through so far, and I’m certainly liking it.  As with the best Nerd Rock, I doubt I ‘get’ half of it.  The music feels smarter than me, if you catch my drift.  It’s not like hearing Celine Dion, where you can guess all the lyrics of the song from the first few lines, or Fergie, where you feel yourself getting dumber while you listen.  I’m going to need more time with it to feel my way through each track.  But my overall feeling is that this is a another winner from a very interesting contemporary musician.

Artist: H.P. Lovecraft
Album: H.P. Lovecraft I
    I always had a taste for the psychedelic music of the 60s and 70s, and the wild imagery they conjure when you let yourself drift off with headphones on.  I’m two steps from Straight Edge and I’ve never dabbled in recreational drugs, but this music still hits a chord with me.  And in the case of the semi-obscure band H.P. Lovecraft, there’s also the added bonus of their tenuous connection to the works of…well, H.P. Lovecraft.  They draw on Lovecraft’s work in much the same way, and with a similar frequency, as Led Zeppelin with J.R.R. Tolkien.  I love the dreamy organ playing, the duel vocals, and the messy guitars.  Wayfaring Stranger and The White Ship are my two favorite tracks.  The White Ship is their epic masterpiece.  It’s a dreamy trip through astral space.  Really listening to it is like meditation, and by the time it ends, I feel more mentally clear than when I started.

    So, that’s some of what’s on my rotation right now.  St. Vincent’s new album has got me in the mood for something a bit different than the harsh, messy rap-beat stuff I’ve been consuming a lot since the beginning of the year.  Maybe, with Spring allegedly on its way, I’ll slide over into the more nostalgic, mellow music I have a tendency to play around this time of year.  I think pulling up H.P. Lovecraft might have been the beginning of that.  Until next time…

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (12/29/13-1/4/14)

    Not a lot going on this week outside of trying and failing to sleep.  Weird week, though.  I somehow didn’t watch a movie between Monday night and Friday night.  Weird.  I did spend a bunch of time on the Dorkies, and I’ve been doing some reading and prep-work for my upcoming game.

Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto:  A gorgeously shot movie about a couple of young men who want to become heroes, samurai.  Each takes a different path after their first battle.  The film deals a great deal with life in 1600 Japan, from politics to the daily doings of simple people.  The place of women, the role of men, what is important in life, religion, and death.  I’m certainly interested in what will happen in the rest of this trilogy.

The Man Who Never Was:  This World War II thriller has some of the feel of a 40s police procedural, but with a British, stiff upper lip sort of mindset.  The actors all do a fine job, with Gloria Graham getting chance to deliver a couple emotional scenes.  It’s good.  It’s perfectly watchable.  And if you’re in the mood for a WWII movie that isn’t about the combat side of things, this is a nice choice.

Hollow:  Gah.  Found footage.  It can be done right.  This ain’t how.  There’s a potentially cool Wicker Man type pagan tale hinted at that might have made for a cool movie.  This ain’t it.  Typical of modern horror films, especially found footage films, the characters are all bloody awful and I couldn’t help but anticipate their inevitable end.  And man does it go on.  There’s probably about 30 minutes of worthy material in a 90 minute movie.  Bah.

John Carter:  Though I do still find this film somewhat frustrating, what with its almost complete squandering of an awesome book series, I do still enjoy the movie.  It’s nowhere near as balls-out crazy as it needs to be, not as over the top, wild, adventurous or fun.  And yeah, Taylor Kitsch is kinda awful in his drab portrayal of the titular hero.  But it does have a lot of cool stuff, some good design work, and some good sequences.  In some ways, they did manage to put some good images of Burroughs’s Barsoom on screen, even if they didn’t get any of its heart.  I realize there is never going to be a movie that does it right.  Not really.  There’s never going to be a movie where the entire cast is naked, but for pieces of armor and jewelry for the entirety.  But I would still like to see a movie get more to the essence.  Whatever the case, I hope that some kid(s) out there saw this movie and were wowed by it, leading them to read the original novels and more.  That’s the best thing this movie could do; inspire a younger generation to read the classics.

Zodiac:  The late 60s and 70s are beautifully reconstructed in this crime solving epic.  Police officers, reporters, and the public must come to terms with a new kind of crime (at least, new to them), while dealing with old guard methodology, red tape, and politics.  The actors are great and the production design is impeccable.  And while I find the story engrossing while it’s on screen, I don’t find myself carrying anything away from the movie.  Nothing stays with me.  I do feel like this would be an interesting companion to Bullitt and Dirty Harry, though.

2014

Beyond the Black Rainbow:  This movie has quickly become one of my favorite go-to films.  There’s this mysterious magic that captures something from my youth.  The director has said that it was partially inspired by late night movies and VHS covers spotted in rental shops from his childhood.  I believe it.  It captures all the mystery and weirdness of the best late 70s/early 80s movies, and the potential of all those descriptions for films that didn’t live up.  Intensely strange, beautifully shot, with pulsing and jarring music, it’s the perfect film when you’re in the mood for classic Cronenberg but want something a little different.  It also touches on a bunch of things I find fascinating, including the post-Hippie attempts to mix science and new age magical thinking into new forms of society and perception…and the failure thereof.  You have the failed seeker and the enlightened one, and their deadly conflict.  Even though the end seems a bit out of tune with the rest of the film, I’ve found that on repeat viewing, it works for me more.  Great stuff.

Hell Baby:  Sometimes extremely funny while at others, flat; Hell Baby is the newest effort from those nut-jobs behind Reno 911...and it shows.  Overall, worth watching if you enjoy some ignorant, gross out humor.  And one scene had me laughing so hard I was in tears (cable installation van).  Most of the stuff with the two priests and with the two cops gave me the giggles, and Rob Corddry was very good throughout.  A surprising amount of Riki Lindhome nudity.  Was 2013, for all its many faults, the year that full frontal nudity came back?  I’ve been noticing the welcome if gradual return of nudity over the last few years, after a painful 20 year absence (yes, there were some exceptions).  But much like male nudity, full frontal remains largely in the domain of Cinemax (or Starz, the new Cinemax).  What changed?  Is this a trend?  It’s a welcome change from the puritanical 90s, whatever the case.  I’m sure as heck not against violence in film, but I’ve always been a bit bothered by people’s willingness to accept the most horrendous acts portrayed in the most graphic of fashion, while turning nearly blue with rage and offence if a nipple gets flashed.  So stupid.

The Prodigal:  The story of the Prodigal Son gets a typical 50s Hollywood take.  In watching these, I can’t help but find most of the lead characters to be raging a-holes, which actually fits with my re-reading of the Bible.  Unwilling to give even an inch in the name of politeness our hero spits in the face of everyone who doesn’t agree with him, defies law and custom, and generally makes a spectacle of his pointless defiance.  Still, there’s some lavish spectacle.

    I started watching some episodes of Voyagers!, the old 80s show.  It’s good kid’s entertainment.  Enough for me to keep watching, I guess.  It’s basically Quantum Leap meets The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, shot on all the usual locations (the whole world looks like Southern California).

    That’s about all I’ve got this week.  Here’s hoping the new year is better than the old.  Time to start making things happen.

-Matt

Book Review: Fringe: The Zodiac Paradox

    I’m a surprise fan of Fringe.  I heard about it, but thought it sounded like a crappy X-Files riff; another of so many shoddy TV shows that recycle ideas with a couple of semi-novel ‘twists,’ last a season (or in truly dire situations, more than one season), and fade into justified obscurity (see every show featuring a vampire in the lead, with the possible exception of Dark Shadows).  And this time, one of those goofy dudes from Dawson’s Creek was on the team and Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Still, I am not made of stone (though I do have a piece of coal where my heart should be), and eventually I listened to one of the many voices singing its praise and gave it a try.  Glad I did.  It is like X-Files.  Except that instead of one in five episodes being pretty good (with the rest being forgettable or bloody awful), Fringe was fairly consistently good and thematically focused.  And what’s more, the Dawson kid was good (?!).  But the best character, the most fun to watch, the one I found myself paying attention to, empathizing with, and wanting to know more about, was the resident mad scientist, the drugged up nutter Walter Bishop.

    Take my favorite character from an excellent show and put him into the hands of one of my favorite active writers, Christa Faust?  Sounds like a good recipe.  And so it is.  A prequel story about Walter, William Bell, and Nina Sharp and a protracted battle with the Zodiac killer.  Sign me up.  But media tie-in novels are a tricky thing.  I’m a long time Star Trek fan, and have read my fair share of Trek novels…a few of them were even good.  I’ve read some Farscape books, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, and others.  More often than not, they’re not very good.  By which I mean they’re garbage.  The key problem is writing characters that sound and feel like the ones you’re used to from the show/film.  Why was The Wounded Sky a good Trek novel?  Because Kirk spoke and acted like Kirk, and McCoy spoke and acted like McCoy.  Once a writer does that, I’m much more willing to sit through whatever story they might wish to tell, but if a writer can not do that…I’m out.  All that is a long way of leading into  the strength of this book.  When Faust puts words into Walter’s mouth, I hear and see John Noble.  When she puts words into Belly’s mouth, I hear and see Leonard Nimoy.  After that, it’s all gravy.

    The story deals with early stage explorations into the mind altering drugs and reality breaking research that is the backstory of Fringe.  Bishop, Bell, and Sharp come together in the early 70s and lay conceptual groundwork for their lives, building the foundation of all that will lead to the events of the TV series.  And this is the stuff I loved about the show.  I’m really fascinated by all that post 60s, post hippie Utopian insanity.  Like the Dharma Initiative on Lost or The Arboria Institute from Beyond the Black Rainbow.  Or experimental hospitals in movies like Rabid and The Brood.  People with nothing but the best of intentions, trying to craft a new, better world, but with dire and sometimes apocalyptic consequences.  Some combination of drugs, the Cold War, profound social change, and wild tech growth created a weird time where almost anything seemed possible.  A time when two science nerds tripping balls in a park might just open a rift to another world, or find a way to boost human evolution.  I’ll admit, the Zodiac killer didn’t particularly interest me.  This is largely due to my ambivalence toward serial killer history and fiction.  It’s well handled, and I think the scenes written from his point of view are appropriately creepy and disquieting.  But due to my own interests and prejudices, I kept wanting the scenes to end so I could get back to Walter, Nina, and Belly, or the student researchers, or even the psychedelic rock band trying to change the world with their music, man.  I can’t imagine there are a lot of people like myself, who would love to read a novel about the founding of Massive Dynamics, and their early research work, without need of a monster or villain.  I should probably just pop on a few more prog-rock albums, watch Videodrome, and be content.

    If you’re a Fringe fan, absolutely check this book out.  It’s nice supplementary material that builds the world a bit more and gives details on the early lives of some major players.  If you’re a Christa Faust fan, you should enjoy her typical cracking action, natural dialog, and uncomfortable violence.  It is a tie-in to a PG-13 type show, so the violence is more restrained than in Choke Hold or Money Shot.  But it doesn’t feel false or too sanitized.  If you’re like me, and a fan of both, this is a no-brainer.  Read it.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (4/28/13-5/6/13)

    Sunday, Ben and I stopped into Comics and Gaming, a new shop in downtown Fairfax.  It seems like a good location, and the folks were friendly.  A bit more magic-focused than I’d like, but that’s what brings in the bread.  It’s nice to have a game store somewhere nearby, though.  The only other one I know of is about 10 or 15 miles away, and frankly, has the smell of death about it.  Maybe I’ll be able to dust off the old tabletop games again, as hosting game night at my place kind of petered out, with everyone being so busy all the time (edit: I went to the Gainesville location later in the week and wanted to reach across the counter and deck the employee, so you never can tell).

Pain & Gain:  “Jesus Christ has blessed me with many gifts; one of them is knocking someone the f&%k out.”  This is the best Michael Bay movie ever.  Hands down.  It’s also probably the best Marky Mark movie.  Three giant dumbass muscle heads stupid their way through a life of crime.  Time and again, you just can’t believe people would be this dumb, and yet… Though I’m quite sure there were plenty of liberties taken, the movie does have to remind you it is based on a true story.  Seriously.  It’s so dumb, but it’s so funny, but it’s so dumb.  Dwayne Johnson is a mad genius.  He’s snorting coke of a stripper’s ass and loving Jesus like it’s his job.  Fantastic.  From what I understand, some things were changed/dropped from the real story of these Three Musketeers of Muscle because they were so stupid and insane the filmmakers figured the viewing audience wouldn’t be able to suspend disbelief.  Truth being once again, stranger than fiction.  Like pretty much all Michael Bay films, it is a bit overlong.  But, unlike most, I wasn’t bored.  It’s kind of like an extended dramatization of a Darwin Awards entry.

I believe in fitness.

    On Sunday afternoon, I burned through the first two volumes of Scott Snyder’s new Swamp Thing series, still riding the high of finishing up Alan Moore’s six volume cycle.  So far, so good.  There are a few things I’m not in love with.  But for DC today, it’s right up at the top.  I’m generally not too impressed with most of what I’ve read from DC’s New 52 (or their other stuff…or from Marvel, for that matter).  But this is good.  Bring on Rotworld, I guess.  And I read another volume of Invincible.  Dang, that’s a fine comic.  So stressful, but so good.  The best superhero comic out there.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me:  “Don’t worry momma.  Things won’t get weird.”  Time travel, mojo theft, a fat bastard, a mini-clone, chest hair, and a young Number 2.  The second outing for idiocy’s answer to James Bond, Flint, and Matt Helm strolls back into my cold, dead heart.  These movies are so appallingly stupid, and I love ever ham-fisted and ignorant moment.  Sight gags, references, goofing off.  You have to be kind of smart to be this unbelievably stupid.  And if that statement is correct, they had to be really, really smart to make this film.  I know many don’t like the third film in the franchise, but I think they get better with each movie.  This one is more together, with consistent laughs than the first.  Also, check out the scene that plays during the credits…the one with two Austins.  Yeah, that’s gonna be me after the advent of cloning.  Get ready world.  Get ready.

Doctor Who: The Happiness Patrol:  “I make sweets!”  Like Paradise Towers, this story arc always stuck out in my memories of Sylvester McCoy’s tenure as The Doctor (fooling my memory into believing I liked his years in the role).  Also like that story, this one features an Earth colony turned horrible distopia, with an ultra-80s 2000AD/Max Headroom/Mad Max vibe.  Kandy Man, man.  Holy nuts.  Kandy Man.  Is this a great story?  No.  But it’s so wacky and weird, and the visuals so much fun, it still holds a place in my heart.  So far, the good VS. awful is about 50/50 for the McCoy years.

Star Trek IV The Voyage Home:  “How’d a nice girl like you get to become a…citation biologist?”  The final film in the trilogy within the series, this time we find Kirk and crew hobbling home in a Klingon ship when Earth gets assaulted by an alien probe.  With some rather startling leaps of logic and faith, they head back in time to find some humpback whales who might be able to drive off the probe.  You know.  That old story.  Once they get to San Francisco of the 1980s, it becomes an Escape from Planet of the Apes style ‘aren’t we all crazy?!’ kind of look at then contemporary culture.  The film has all the subtlety of Michael Bay directing a Ke$ha video, but it’s charmingly light hearted, and a nice breath after the heavy stuff in parts II and III.

Breathless:  “Guess I always kinda liked cuttin’ stuff up.”  I’m not sure quite what this movie was aiming for.  Clearly, it’s at least partially an attempt to do a Tarantino film, with all the stylized dialog and weird combination of knowledgeable yet dumb as post kind of petty criminals.  It reminds me a bit of Bound, though it lacks a good deal of that film’s charm.  The Texan idiocy is a bit tough to sit through.  About 30 minutes in, I realized it was going to be one of those ‘one location’ films.  As such, it’s not bad.  But it has some low budget/film school failings.  The dialog is a bit too self aware, the performances a bit too affected.  Still, it’s OK.

Beyond the Black Rainbow:  Looking back, this should probably have been on my top 10 of 2012 (yes, it came out before in Canada, but only became available in the States last year, so I count it).  It reaches back into the late 60s, the 70s, and early 80s, to the Hippie and post-Hippie, New Age, Utopian idealism, science and drug fueled dreaming of transcendent reality shift.  Those folk who wanted to unshackle humanity from its traditions, reach for something new, and become more than human.  The film lives in the dwindling days of their shattered dreams.  This was the stuff I was most fascinated by while watching the middle seasons of Lost, with the Dharma Initiative, those broken dreams of failed seekers.  The sinister side of the quest for perfection.  These people dropped the ceremony and jargon of traditional religion, but held on to the mindset, still trying to fill a nonexistent void with aspirations for a better world forever out of reach.  The operatic and surreal score, as well as the ultra-saturated colors, and intentionally jarring editing create that feel of early David Cronenberg or Don Coscarelli.  It’s simultaneously hypnotic and disquieting, beautiful and grotesque.  If you haunted video stores in the late 80s and early 90s, picking through the weird movies you’d never heard of, hoping to find a lost gem, check this movie out.  That’s the feeling I get when I watch it, like when I saw Lifeforce for the first time, Logan’s Run,  Idaho Transfer, Lightyears, or The Company of Wolves.

    And I read an advanced reader copy of Ashley Cardiff’s upcoming book Night Terrors.  I don’t know if it’s going to be released as a humor book, or a sex book, or just a memoir.  Whatever the case, it’s a danged funny, extremely dirty, and occasionally dark look at becoming an adult in this era.  Cardiff looks at the world in a way not unlike my own, and went through similar growing pains, so I frequently empathized with her in all her awkward and confused glory.

    On Saturday, Brad and I did a comic shop crawl.  Other than one obnoxious jerkwad running a register at the last place we hit up, it was a good time and a good day.  The selection this year seemed a bit sparse, and perhaps a touch uninteresting.  But the turnout seemed good, especially among families with kids.  That’s heartening.  Later on Saturday a fairly large group of us went out to the newly opened Alamo Draft House Theater to see Iron Man 3.  The place seems pretty cool.  They serve you food where you sit.  You’ve got a nice shelf in front of you where you can keep your food.  The prices are competitive (popcorn is fairly cheap for a theater, actually).  And the experience is pretty good.  Can’t wait to go out in a couple weeks to see They Live (with sunglasses and bubblegum).

Iron Man 3:  Did you like the first two Iron Man films?  If so, you should enjoy this.  If not, this won’t change your mind.  I feel similarly lukewarm on all three, though I think they’ve gotten marginally better each installment.  Robert Downey Jr. is less charming in this film, relying instead his impeccable comic timing.  Honestly, the story felt kind of superfluous, with few interesting moments.  The Extremis business has potential, but as was the case when I made a brief attempt at reading an Iron Man comic, it doesn’t work.  There are parts of the beginning and middle that were really interesting, but the final mega-action battle at the shipyard was glaringly uninspired.  The stunts and suit-gags stopped wowing me sometime near the middle of the first film, and they feel like extremely old hat here, like an ancient stand-up comedian dragging out the same jokes night after night.  It’s fun enough popcorn entertainment.  But I still prefer Thor and the first two thirds of Captain America.

-Matt

Brad's Week In Dork! (12/16/12-12/22/12)

Like my co-dork, this time of year my life is pretty much consumed by work.  That being said, I still managed to watch a crap ton of movies and read nearly an equal amount of comic books.  And boy, I really needed the downtime that these delicious confections had to offer.  And if there was one through line of the week, it would have to be The Great One - Tom Cruise.  As I get older and Tom Cruise seems to receive more and more hate from the masses, I find myself gravitating more and more to his special brand of insanity and undeniable charm.  You look at a film like Knight & Day and you gotta imagine that he's in on the joke.  But then you watch a film like Collateral and you realize he can deliver a cold, brutal performance.  And then you've got Jack Reacher...well, you'll just have to wait till you reach the end of the week for my feelings on Lee Child's creation.

Trek Nation:  This one took me by surprise.  Randomly saw it on Netflix Instant and pulled the trigger late Sunday night.  Eugene Rodenbery Jr examines the impact that his father's creation has had on pop culture via various interviews with Trekkies, including Hollywood luminaries like George Lucas, JJ Abrams, and Rob Zombie (yeah that's right, he's a luminary).  Thanks to an inquisitive and sometimes confused familial connection, this doc succeeds where others like Trekkies & William Shatner's Get A Life don't - sure, it's still a touch too exaggerated on Star Trek's "Importance" but there is genuine heart in young Rodenberry's quest and he does not shy from the darker aspects to Gene the Man.  And talking heads will only give you so much; Trek Nation is just another commercial for one of my favorite franchises but it brought more warmth to the tale than I was certainly expecting.

Miami Connection:  So.  Yeah.  They're right about this one.  Written, Directed, and Starring Master Y.K. Kim, Miami Connection is one of those fabled So-Bad-It's-Great lost 80s classics.  I'm not sure how I never saw it growing up.  Never grabbed the VHS box or saw it Up All Night on the USA Network (apparently it was rejected from every distribution house in the country and only played in & around Orlando, Florida).  Bummer, cuz I think my child mind would have been blown by this goofball ninjafest.  When a clan of biker ninjas roll into town it's up to the Tae Kwon Do mastery of the multicultural synth band, Dragon Sound to karate chop their ass.  The band concocted exclusively with orphans struggles with love, music, college life, and evil bastards named Jeff.  This might not be the best Bad Movie I've ever seen, but it's definitely up there.

Bernie:  A charmingly sad film.  Jack Black is a little too unreal with his performance...at least in the portrayal of the real life murderer - or least it feels that way, I have no real idea of who this Bernie Tiede is in real life and maybe he is just a lark of a killer but, I just sense a 1 dimensional character interpretation.  That being said, it's a fun enough journey to prison.  Shirley MacLaine is a heisnous witch and when Bernie pulls the trigger you're more than happy to see her drop face first in the cement. Matthew McConaughey is a goof of a Texan and he's sorely underused in the narrative...and that's not just my rampant McConaughey love talking...at least I don't think.

Collateral:  Watched this in prep for both Jack Reacher and Django Unchained, and I definitely believe this to be not only Tom Cruise and Jaime Foxx's best film to date, but also Michael Mann's greatest achievement in crime cinema (obviously, his greatest achievement is The Keep).  The Los Angeles high def photography is stunning, that dirty concrete city has never looked this beautiful.  Tom Cruise is a sociopathic murder machine, and his typically steely stare has never worked better on the big (or small screen).  But it's Jamie Foxx's daydreaming cabbie that steals the show.  Released the same year as Ray, I believe his simmering rage performance here is ten times better than anything found in that mimicry biopic.  Granted, I would probably prefer for the film to play out a little differently in the last ten minutes or so but as is, Collateral is one of my favorite films of the last fifteen years.  And it is the flick that started to turn me back into a fan of The Great One.

All New X-Men 4:  This is the issue I was waiting for.  Cyclops on Cyclops violence.  It's a little talkier than I would like (but it's Bendis, so that's to be expected) and the Scott Summers of yesteryear doesn't kill this new asshole dictator version of himself, but there's still hope that the new Scott gets taken out by the old.  But 4 issues into this bizarro idea and we're starteing to see where this book is heading - I see a lot of anger and violence ahead.

Avengers #2:  I really do love Jerome Opena's art, but I'm not feeling Jonathan Hickman's story yet.  The Great Big Avengers team continues to Assemble to fight the threat on Mars, and we get a little more detail on what the big bad Ex Nihlo's plan entails.  But this still sorta feels like a retread on what Bendis did a few years ago for his New Avengers Breakout arc...only with less character detail.  I don't care about Manifold or Hyperion.  Why should I be excited that there joining the team?

Avengers Arena #2:  No Darkhawk this issue.  Sigh.  I'm only reading this book for its Darkhawk content.  Give me that punchy 90s hero or I'm gonna walk cuz this Battle Royale wannabe is not at all appealing.  Granted, it's not the complete crap that I thought it was going to be but I also don't see why my comic book guys are going gaga over this book.

Captain America #2:  This just might be my least favorite relaunch from Marvel Now.  One of my all time favorite characters ripped from his comfort zone, and thrusted in the ultra lame Dune wannabe Dimension Z.  I've enjoyed Rick Remender's writing and John Romita Jr's art in the past, but this is just abysmal storytelling.  With every turn of the page I become more and more disconcerted.  I really hope this Zolaland nonsense lasts for six issues because I don't think I could take a whole year of this, and the moment they start flashing back to that year gap between issues 1 and 2 - I'm out.

Hawkeye #6:  And as much as I don't like Captain America right now, I LOVE HAWKEYE!  Seriously, I know this is my same old song but I cannot believe how damn good this book is - it might very well be the best book Marvel's publishing right now.  Crazy bold words, but it's fact.  Issue 6 sees the return of the Bro army as Clint tries to understand the joys of Christmas AV Electronic set up.  The story bounces in and around his Holiday week, and we see just how hard it is to be an Avenger and not have your favorite TV show (Dog Cops!) ruined by those asshole heroes you work with (Spoilers Spider-Man!!!!  Geez).

Indestructible Hulk #2:  Not a bad second issue, but its nowhere near as fun as Mark Waid's other books this year.  I do appreciate how the Marvel Now relaunch seems to be following the relationship between Tony Stark & Bruce Banner found within in Joss Whedon's movie universe.  And I can't tell you how relieved I am that Banner is starting to have control of The Hulk again.  The whole Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing has been more than a little tired for the last 30 years.

Thor - God of Thunder #3:  Another great issue.  Focusing mostly on present day Thor, I dig the regret he has for his brash failure back in the cave of issue 2.  And is it me or are The God Butcher's hounds ten times scarier than The God Butcher himself?  Thor attempts to gain some knowledge from the libraries of Omnipotence City, but the guy is not much of a reader - he's going to get his education done on the battlefield.  This might not be my favorite book of Marvel Now, but it's a close second.

Thunderbolts #2:  Did not enjoy this as much as the first issue, but I enjoyed it enough to keep going.  I'm just one of those guys that really likes seeing Steve Dillon draw these B List heroes.  This book mostly focuses on a Thunderbolts assault on the horrible dictatorship island all Marvelites know as Madripoor.  Imagine that crappy little island from Commando and add a Red Hulk and you pretty much get the idea.  I do wish this was a Max title cuz I want to see The Punisher off the chain, tearing through guerilla scum.

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #18:  Finally, the United We Stand arc is over.  Not the finest moment from Bendis Spider-Man run.  Not saying it's garbage, but I never really got excited by any of this Hydra terrorist nonsense.  Especially how it plays with Miles Morales...although I did enjoy his encounter with that Giant Woman's breasts.  Giggle.  But the best stuff from this issue surrounds Spider-Woman's almost revelation to Miles - I'm really looking forward to Jessica Drew unleashing her origin on the new Spider-Man cuz it's gonna blow his mind.  Now, let's get on to the Venom War.

BPRD 1948 #3:  Another month, another kickass 1948 issue.  And there is a moment in this book with little Hellboy that might be the cutest moment in the characters history - yeah, that's right, cuter than PANCAKES!  But the weight of this book settles in Professor Bruttenholm's telling of the dimensional birth of Hellboy, and our young lady scientist is more than a little horrified by the Prof's casual adoption of the beast.  Not exactly sure what's really going on in this book yet, but I eagerly await it's conclusion.

BPRD - The Return of the Master #5:  Don't get me wrong.  I really enjoyed this latest chapter in BPRD misery.  But...this book leaves you seriously hanging.  For a series titled The Return of the Master I was expecting something a little more conclusive but this book reminds me a lot of The Warning.  There's a lot of set-up here and I guess the payoff is not going to come until later.  The Hell on Earth saga continues to torture mankind and I gotta laugh at how devastated our world becomes with the conclusion of each mini.  Just when you think it can't get any worse, it most certainly does.  Mignola & Arcudi are having to much fun with pain.  Very curious to see how this plays in trade.

Happy! #3:  Well, we finally get the answer as to why Sax can see Happy The Horse and even though it shouldn't come as a huge surprise I found myself taken aback.  This is not Grant Morrsion's finest hour by any means, but I'm enjoying Derick Robertson's underworld horror show.  And Happy is delightful.  But I find myself thinking about the last issue coming up next month - can it possibly satisfy the story?  Four issues is not a lot of room for a masterpiece.

Saga #8:  The Internet is madly in love with this book.  I'm enjoying it just ok.  I want to be gaga.  Y The Last Man & Ex Machina are two of my all time favorite series, but Saga is a little too fanciful for my tastes.  I'm not a full on hater like Matt, but I find myself deeply disappointed by my lack of love for Saga.  And after the grotesque introduction of the giant Fard, it was a little bit disconcerting to see him dispatched so easily in this issue.

The Sixth Gun #27:  I'm starting to think that this book should just be read in trades.  Issue 27 sees Drake take down the Wendigo, but blink and the book is over.  Good stuff, but after I put it down I'm done.  My brain hasn't drifted back to this book since.  But I could just be obsessed with super hero comics right now.  I'm so jazzed on Marvel Now there's little energy left for the independents.  Wow.  That's a horrible thing to write.

XO Manowar #8:  The Ninjak story comes to a close and that's ok.  Solid.  But not amazing.  It pretty much let Archer & Armstorng and Bloodshot take the lead in Valiant Comics away from my favorite XO character.  Oh well.  Looking forward to the Planet Death stuff next month.  I need Aric to go psycho on Earth.  I need him to tear up this modern world, bring a little classic barbarism back to the masses...or at least the masses of government.

Death Proof:  My least favorite of Tarantino's films.  That's not to say that it doesn't have some fairly badass stuff in it, but after each viewing I find myself disappointed.  The funny thing is that The Wife freaking loves this movie.  I guess it has something to do with girl power kickassery and Zoe Bell's cat-like reflexes.  For me though, I just cannot stand the first half of the film.  I love Stuntman Mike and his nacho gnashing.  Rose McGowan is shockingly good as the sadsack Pam.  But Sydney Poitier and her group of big shit friends annoy the hell outta me and the only pleasure I get from the first 45 minutes is watching them crash all over that road.  And that two act structure devastates the flow for me every time.  I'd gladly watch the second half over and over again, but I don't see myself going back to this film on a regular basis.  Still, those stunt car sequences are some of the best road rashes ever filmed.  Gotta give QT that.  And Kurt Russell is quite a character.  His crying screams are beautiful.

Beyond the Black Rainbow:  "Oh Barry, you startled me."  Whoa.  I was not ready for Beyond the Black Rainbow.  There's a little John Carpenter in its synth score, but there's a whole helluva lot of David Cronenberg pumped throughout this monster of a movie.  And I'm talking The Brood, Rabid, and Videodrome Cronenberg - there's no Dangerous Method to be found here.  But what's it all about? Not really sure.  It's a headtrip of a flick that will definitely bare repeat viewings.  There's something to do with a secret laboratory, a girl with psychic abilities, and a trip down Stanley Kubrick's A Space Odyssey.  I've seen a lot of ineffectual horror films this year, and even though I would not necessarily place Black Rainbow in that genre, no other film has disturbed me quite as deeply as it has this year.  When the plot starts to go off the rails in the last fifteen minutes, I was practically pulling the hair out of my head with great waves of anxiety.  All I can say is, Bravo.  Need to get this sucker on blu ray - there are some serious reds that will destroy my HDTV.

Knight and Day:  "I'm The Guy!"  Tom Cruise is so scarily, and creepingly charming in this movie.  And I adore how Cameron Diaz swoons for his Secret Agent nutjob.  Their flirtations feel genuine to me.  Scary and weird.  But genuine.  As Tom Cruise kills his way to Cameron Diaz's heart, I feel myself being won over by the madman's intoxicating mastery over his 007 craft.  Killing squadrons of goons in the aisle of a 747.  Jumping from a flying policeman's motorcycle and onto the hood of a speeding car - he's a regular TJ Hooker.  It's a goofy movie, not to be taken seriously and director James Mangold doesn't quite have a hold on some of the action sequences, but that's okay - the leads carry the film.  When surrounded by a herd of CGI bulls, you're more focused on the smiley faces of Cruise & Diaz to be distracted by the uncanny valley.  Knight and Day is a lark if you let it be.

Solomon Kane:  I've been anticipating this film for nearly four years.  A wait like that will surely not bare delicious fruit.  But it's not rotten either.  Similar to last year's Season of the Witch (have I lost you already?) I admire Solomon Kane's "Just Do It" attitude.  This is a Fantasy film.  It's not a medieval tale with hints of the supernatural.  F that.  We've got full on demons, witches, magic, and disfigured cultist goons.  And in the middle of all that Robert E Howardness, you've got James Purefoy looking damn good under that buckle hat.  Maybe not the grande adaptation all us Conan aficionados want, but it's a helluva lot better a Solomon Kane flick than I thought we would ever see.

Iron Sky:  Invasion of the Moon Nazis!  It's a premise this exploitation nut should absolutely adore, but ultimately, this film is far too bland to be entertaining.  There are a couple of fun sequences involving a whole lot of awkward racial humor and our heroic astronaut, but for the most part the jokes are far too broad - and the Sarah Palin stuff really needed to go, just not funny.

Ted:  How do I write about this film without spoiling the single greatest cameo in cinematic history?  I just can't rob you of that joy.  What I will say, is that when this person finally revealed himself and Mark Wahlberg got to fulfill his boyhood dreams, I nearly wept with giddy glee.  Ted is a damn funny movie.  Seth McFarlane's talking teddy is a vulgar riot made for snuggles, and the way both Wahlberg & Mila Kunis interact with this creature is fascinatingly authentic - he's this decade's Roger Rabbit.  That's an achievement unto itself, and some night I really do feel like I could use my very own Thunder Buddy.  Still - my love of this film all comes down to that all too brief, but absolutely perfect cameo.

Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader:  One of the few disappointments of this year's Comic Con was missing the screening of Roger Corman's latest.  Thanks to Netflix Instant, I've finally seen this cheesefest.  I know this might come as a shock, but Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader is not very good.  But it's cheeky enough.  Lots of innuendo that climaxes on a giant topless cat fight.  If that sounds like your kind of thing (and how could it not) than look no further.  I do wish I'd caught this in 3D on the big screen though.

Jack Reacher:  I've been eagerly anticipating this one.  And not just cuz it's the latest flick from The Great One.  But it's Christopher McQuarrie's directorial follow up to The Way of the Gun, a twisty crime film that does not get the attention it truly deserves.  So, how does he do with Lee Child's baby?  Not bad.  Tom Cruise is pretty much playing the same character as he was in Knight and Day, but without the joyous bombardment of smiles.  He is earnest.  He is stretching all his badass muscles and for the most part he succeeds.  Of course, McQuarrie's screenplay really helps on giving him the best snarky one-liners and whip-smart retorts.  The best scene in the film is when he intellectually devastates a couple of barhopping bros before physically crippling them.  Sock to the balls!  And Werner Herzog's milky eyed big bad is worth the price of admission alone.  The moments in the movie where he rears his seriously ugly head are delightfully intense, and his final confrontation with Cruise is extremely satisfying.  I don't think we're gonna get a whole series of Jack Reacher movies, but I would be down for a few more.

--Brad