Showing posts with label BPRD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BPRD. Show all posts

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Comic Reviews: Abe Sapien Volumes 1 & 2



The Drowning

    The first volume of Abe Sapien tells the story of his first mission without Hellboy.  Generally speaking, it feels like a Hellboy story, just with Abe put in Red’s place.  I like the premise, and there are a lot of good scenes.  What I don’t like is Abe.  It’s weird, but my recent reading of B.P.R.D. and now reading this, I find myself enjoying Abe less and less.  I don’t know if Mignola isn’t sure what to do with him, or if he is sure, and it’s just not something I respond to.  Like Liz Sherman, Abe has become a sort of listless, self-doubting, sad-sack.  And this first solo (well, he’s got several red-shirt agents along with him…for a few pages) adventure does little to lend him much gravitas.


    As I said, I really do like the premise of the story.  An island which had been a leper colony and the center of a supernatural event, was rededicated to worship of the Sea.  Then something awful happened, and something was buried.  Abe and crew don’t exactly cause the problem, but their arrival sets some stuff in motion, and as often happens in these stories, the proverbial crap hits the fan.  There are more connections drawn to the Hyperboria, Atlantis, and Lemuria, some deep history and some weird magic.  And I really like Jason Shaw Alexander’s artwork.  But, at the end of the day, like in B.P.R.D., Abe is seeming more and more like a shadowy afterthought of Hellboy, like a vessel for unused story ideas that were meant for our doomed hero, but would no longer work for him.


The Devil Does Not Jest and Other Stories

    The second volume feels even more like classic Hellboy, being a bunch of short stories that feature various unrelated events.  That said, it feels like Abe has a bit more personality here.  The Haunted Boy and The Abyssal Plain showcase Abe’s very different, more thoughtful approach to weird events.  The Devil Does Not Jest sets up something really cool, but doesn’t pay off, which was too bad.  Pretty much everything up until the finale was cool.  I wonder if it’ll have any kind of follow-up in future Abe books, or in B.P.R.D.


    The art is a mixed bag, as this is an anthology.  But it’s all passable, at least.  However, I still can’t figure out if I actually like Abe anymore.  He’s such a potentially interesting character, but like several plotlines on Lost, the more you find out, the less interesting he becomes.  There were so many ways to take the character, and it seems like they’ve found most of the bad ones.  As much as I love Hellboy and B.P.R.D., it frustrates me that what was one of my favorite characters feels lost to me, now.  Like I can’t connect to him or to what he’s doing.



Abe Sapien: The Drowning
Author: Mike Mignola
Artist: Jason Shawn Alexander
Publisher: Dark Horse Books
ISBN: 978-1-59582-185-0

Abe Sapien: The Devil Does Not Jest and Other Stories
Authors: Mike Mignola & John Arcudi
Artists: Patrick Reynolds, etc.
Publisher: Dark Horse Books
ISBN: 978-1-59582-925-2

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (3/23/14-3/29/14)


    On a much needed (MUCH needed) vacation this week.  I did a lot of sleeping, a lot of reading, and a lot of watching.  It was a pretty good week.


Young Detective Dee: Rise of the Sea Dragon:  I don’t ever want to be in a place where I’ve got to drink the “Golden Soup” to cure my parasites.  Not ever.  This over the top Hong Kong fantasy film is a lot of fun, though perhaps a bit overlong.  This is supposed to be early in Dee’s career, and sees him facing off against a conspiracy of foreign invaders and a mysterious sea monster, all while trying to figure out who the monster man is, and what his connection to the beautiful courtesan might be.  It’s the kind of mostly silly, kinda cool, effects filled movie that Tsui Hark is known for, for better or worse.  I’m not a fan of Tsui’s visual style, and this isn’t an exception.  He’s very similar to Andrew Lau and this movie reminded me a lot of Lau’s The Duel and The Storm Riders, but I tend to respond better to Lau’s films.  Still, I enjoyed this and the ending is about as crazy as you can ask for in a film of this sort.  Probably best for kids, this might make a good introduction to Chinese fantasy.  Someone who really enjoys the Pirates of the Caribbean films might take note.  There are tonal similarities.  I could see younger Matt really digging it.  As it is, a pretty good, but not great entry in the fantasy film list.


Pollyanna:  This Disney classic is perfectly enjoyable and fun, and good for the family.  There’s nothing especially profound or life changing about the movie, but it’s well made and does have a healthy dose of medicine for fire & brimstone preachers.  Worth watching with younger kids, but hardly a great classic.


    Figuring I’d best use my vacation for something other than lollygagging, I read the first three volumes of B.P.R.D.’s Hell on Earth arc and the first League of Extraordinary Gentlemen spin-off Nemo books.  Good stuff, all round.


Doctor Who: Genesis of the Daleks:  The Doctor, Sarah Jane, and Harry get pulled back in time by some bloody meddling Time Lord, in order to try to find something in the origin of the Daleks that might help fight them in the future.  Here we see the previously hinted at war on planet Skaro and meet for the first time Davros, the mad genius who gave the Daleks life and purpose.  It’s a dark story, with lots of interesting side characters, and some sticky ends for allies.  In spite of their over-use over the long run of this show, I genuinely like the Daleks, their origin story, and the visuals of Skaro.


The Mad Executioners:  It’s like they folded two not very good scripts into one jumbled and weird mess.  Bad English dubbing, at least one sub-plot too many, and some goofy characters go through the standard Euro-horror silliness of the era.  The girl is pretty, the villains stupid, and the sleaze sadly muted.  And you’d swear the movie was much more than its 90 minutes.


Fellowsihp of the Frog:  Pretty typical ‘masked mastermind’ stuff, but there are a few good scenes.  When the frog machine-guns that dame, I’ll admit, I was pretty surprised.  It’s still generally silly, a bit boring, and even for its time, feels hackneyed.  But then, it’s based on the works of Edgar Wallace and variations on this Frog story had already been on screen several times.


Doctor Who: Planet of Evil:  I’m always a fan of the more science fictiony Doctor Who stories, and this is one of the really fun ones.  In the far future, on an alien world, something is killing members of exploratory and rescue missions.  The Doctor and Sarah Jane face the usual suspicion from the timespace-locals, while trying to figure out what’s killing people and how they can stop it.  I love the set and costume design in this.  And while the story is fairly typical of this type, it’s a solid, fun watch, with good guest actors.  It’s still weird for me to go back and watch Sarah Jane Smith stories now, after having loved her recent spin-off series.  She’s so strong and assured on The Sarah Jane Adventures, but she’s so screamy and weepy, and while not quite useless, too damsel in distress for my tastes.


Doctor Who: The Brain of Morbius:  This story is gross.  It’s cool.  But it’s gross.  Steeped in Frankenstein, it also gets into some weird Time Lord business, introduces techno-priestesses, and has some nasty onscreen gore (that big Igor looking dude getting shot in the chest is almost Total Recall level nasty).  There isn’t really all that much too this story, but I love the look and feel of it.  It could be considered filler, but if it is, it’s really good filler.


    On Wednesday, co-Dork Brad and I got together to go Kaiju crazy.  A day of watching Toho classics will do anyone some needed good.  Man, I love those movies.  I love how crazy the series gets.


Mothra:  Before Godzilla became ‘defender of the Earth,’ and was still just a giant monster rampaging across Japan, there was Mothra, also a giant monster rampaging across Japan, but with a message of peace.  Mothra and her two tiny heralds want humanity to cut it out with the bomb dropping and the pollution, and they’re gonna bring the noise if it doesn’t stop.  Greedy businessmen are there to exploit the situation, of course.  But in the end, three people learn a lesson and tons of people are displaced and/or killed.  And there are super-racist portrayals of island people.  Still, this early Kaiju film is a ton of fun, and its hippie message would become integral to later Godzilla films.


Godzilla VS. Mothra:  A giant egg washes up on shore (to be claimed by greedy businessmen), Godzilla starts to cause some trouble, and some intrepid reporters seek help from a giant moth.  I love these movies.  There’s plenty of monster mayhem, greed brings jerks low, and the aw-gee-shucks, can-do attitude of reporters will of course, save the day.


Invasion of Astro-Monster:  A rocket ship journey to the mysterious Planet X, a sexy femme fatale, aliens who want to cure our cancer, and a sinister plan to control our Kaiju.  Godzilla gets really nuts with this movie about two astronaut buddies who have to save the world from sunglass wearing baddies from beyond.  One of my favorites for a lot of reasons.  I love Glenn and Fuji, our dashing heroes.  And of course, the one and only King Ghidorah in what is probably his best appearance.  He drops the electric hammer on Japan with three heads spraying lightening every which way.  A beast that only the combined efforts of two or more of Earth’s Kaiju can slow down, Ghidorah is probably the single nastiest of the giant monsters.  Usually under control, or sent by the hand of, some danged alien fiend.


Godzilla VS. Megalon:  Atomic testing opens cracks in the surface of the Earth, and the underground (or underwater, depending on who we believe) people of lost Mu, or Atlantis, or Lemuria, or whatever don’t like it.  So, obviously the only sane thing to do is raise a giant beetle with skyscrapers for hands and a glowing star on its head to go destroy humanity.  But don’t worry, a little kid and his two dads are on the case.  Dad #1 is also an inventor, and has made a robot that is totally not Ultraman (Jet Jaguar: pronounced jag-you-are).  Who’s kidnapping who?  Who’s controlling who?  What’s up with that crazy cube house?  How does Jet Jaguar program himself to grow to enormous size?  The answers are all inside…except for the giant size thing.  That doesn’t make a lick of sense.  Oh, and Godzilla shows up.


Terror of Mechagodzilla:  One of my very top favorites of the series, this one features more dang dirty aliens trying to take over the world so they can build a city that will let them get their bodies back…Or something.  Anyway, they’ve recruited a bitter scientist and his cute daughter to mind-control a giant sea kaiju (as you do).  Also, they’re rebuilding Mechagodzilla, the giant robot Godzilla.  As you can imagine, Japan gets kicked around a bit in this one.  It also features possibly the best Godzilla reveal in the film franchise.  So badass.  This marks the end of the classic Godzilla era, and they went out on a good note.  I don’t think the films ever got back to this level, or really even all that close.  The ‘Millenium Series’ starting with Godzilla: 2000 gets the closest, but…  Anyway, Terror of Mechagodzilla is a pretty darned cool finale.


 Doctor Who: The Sunmakers:  Hardly subtle, this adventure takes the Doctor and Leela to a world run by number-crunchers and penny-pinchers.  A society crushed beneath taxes and red tape, ruled by a power elite who crush the will of their workers.  There are plenty of good characters, some cool sets, and a strong dose of humor.  As usual for this era, it does get pretty dark at times, too.  And then there’s Leela.


    On Thursday morning, I watched a few episodes of The New Avengers.  Though not nearly as good as the best of the original, it’s still quite fun and watchable.  I have the weirdest feelings about Joanna Lumley, though.  She’s a Brit Sci-Fi staple and supposed to be a great beauty.  But like Barbara Steele and Karen Black, I feel like my primitive brain spots her and gets all excited,  but then my aesthetic brain recoils.  Unlike Steele and Black however, Lumley does display a degree of talent and charisma.  Also, and I guess ironically, she tries to ‘ugly’ herself up in an episode by dressing in a kind of stereotypical librarian outfit with glasses and the whole bit.  Turns out, she looks great like that.  Anyway, the show itself lacks some of the wonderful surrealism of the original, and now the sexual innuendo is between Lumley and the dashing, young Gareth Hunt.  Unfortunately it isn’t charming and cheeky as it was between Mcnee and Rigg.  It comes off much, much more harassing/rapy.  Rigg and Mcnee were always sparring equals having good natured fun.  Hunt is like a jock who doesn’t get the message that she’s not into him, and while Lumley seems like she can handle herself, you can’t help but feel for her as this weird, gropy guy keeps leering.  It's uncomfortable.


    Later Thursday, I watched the first disk of the second season of Night Gallery.  There are a few good stories, but so far, it’s not batting too strong.  The one I think I liked the most of this batch was about a sinister military school.  Felt like something out of Nowhere Man or The Prisoner.


    For the next meeting of the graphic novel club, I read Sweet Tooth Vol. 1 &2.  If I had never read Y: The Last Man, I’d probably really dig it.  But reading it, I couldn’t help but feel like it was a kinda half-assed rehash.  I may read the remaining volumes, just to see if it goes in an interesting enough direction to make it stand on its own.  But, meh.  I definitely wouldn’t have read very far if I were picking this up monthly.


    And on Friday morning, I finished up the first season of Defiance.  I don’t know.  I kind of like the show, but it’s also not that great.  A lot of pretty typical characters going through a lot of pretty typical stories.  Very much like a lot of other Western meets Science Fiction things that have come before it.  The aliens aren’t unique enough, the setting not unique enough, etc.  I’m enjoying watching it just enough to keep watching it, but not enough to go out of my way, or be particularly concerned with what happens to any of the characters.


Sullivan’s Travels:  There are some problems with the latter third of the film, but this comedy about a pampered movie director trying to find out about suffering is extremely funny.  The dialog, especially involving the Hollywood moguls, is lightening quick and hysterical.  Veronica Lake makes for a great partner once she’s introduced.  The way she glams it up one minute, then goofs it up the next, makes her especially charming.  This movie feels like a work in defense of making movies fun, of not always trying for gritty realism.  Bravo.


Rushmore:  This early Wes Anderson film still has a good deal of his particular oddness about it, and explores many of the themes he continues to explore to this day.  Fathers and sons (surrogate or biological), and difficulty with women.  Bill Murray is especially good in this.  His transformation from together to total emotional ruin is so sad.  But he also feels genuine.  That’s the thing with Anderson characters; they’re all so distinctly odd, yet they all remind you of someone you’ve known, maybe someone you’ve been.  Great stuff.  Along with Bottle Rocket, this would probably be a good 'gateway' movie into Anderson's universe.  It's odd.  It has a bent sense of humor.  But it's less artificial, less the 'doll house' of his later films.  He's got the themes he'll go on to explore all in hand.  But his style is still forming.  By his next picture, The Royal Tenenbaums, that his style is fully realized.


    On Saturday morning, I read Steed & Peel: The Golden Game by Grant Morrison.  I know everyone loves the guy, but I don’t think I’ve really enjoyed a Morrison book yet.  This doesn’t change things.  It was OK, at best.  And it totally misses the mark on capturing the fun of the show.  Occasionally he tries, but the dialog never works.  And both stories contained within would have made for forgettable episodes if they’d been filmed.  This felt more like the Gold Key comics based on Star Trek.  Like the writer was given only the vaguest idea of what the show was about and then told to write X number of pages.  There’s no heart.  No love for the characters.  While technically fine from both a writing and art standpoint, it’s not The Avengers, for sure.


The Lion in Winter:  “I’m villifying you, for God’s sake-pay attention!”  I’m torn on this movie.  On the one hand, it’s kind of awesome to see all these excellent actors spewing such vile, humor tinged hatred at each other.  On the other hand, after more than two hours, it does become a bit much.  Though shot like a medieval epic of its time (and well), everything about the acting and the dialog would tell you it was based on a stage play, if the credits did not.  In some ways it feels very, very modern, with many nods and winks to the contemporary audience.  So, while I didn’t love it, I’m sure glad I saw it.  And for anyone who likes any of the actors involved, or who enjoys some powerfully hateful dialog, the likes of which you don’t tend to get outside of a good Film Noir (Sweet Smell of Success kept coming to mind), this is one to see.


    Finally, on Saturday night, I sat down to the second of my cinematic resolutions.  I watched The Lost Weekend several weeks back.  On to Sunset Boulevard…


Sunset Boulevard:  “We didn’t need dialog.  We had faces!”  This movie is much more interesting than the famous clips you see in ever classic movie montage.  It’s more than being ready for a close-up for Mr. DeMille.  It’s a Noir, but even there, turns many of the genre expectations on their heads.  It’s cynically satirical, biting, and even heartbreaking.  And in its way, it’s both an evisceration and a celebration of movies and the people who make them.  Gloria Swanson manages to play someone who has gone ‘round the bend, living in a sort of heightened, almost campy delusion, without making the character a caricature.  The cast is quite good all around, with stand-outs being, of course Swanson,  former director Erich von Stroheim, who is phenomenal as the enabling butler with plenty of secrets, and a surprisingly good cameo from Cecil B. DeMille himself.  One of those classics you’ll recognize bits of, since folks have been lifting from it for more than 60 years.


    That’s about it.  I got a bunch of reading done, though not as much as I’d wanted.  Caught up a bit on my movie watching.  As always, I could use a few more days off.  Alas.



-Matt

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Comic Reviews: B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth 1, 2, & 3



New World

    The Plague of Frogs is over…Right?  Everything must be OK, then.  Everything should be getting back to normal, huh?  Of course not.  The Frogs were the beginning, but there’s a whole heck of a lot more trouble on its way.  It is, as the title suggests, a new world.  Humans are adaptable, and they’re gonna have to do some serious adapting.


    This volume sees the return of some old friends, and hints at new dangers on the horizon.  The B.P.R.D. team, now having to deal with being folded into the UN, is still haunted by the loss of Hellboy from their ranks.  Without his spirit at their head, they’ve never quite worked as well.  Abe has become sullen, Liz has wandered off again, Kate is stretched to her limit, Johann is more and more secretive and weird.  The cracks in the team are like the cracks in reality, letting vile darkness creep into the world.


Gods and Monsters

    Monsters are crawling out of the ground, people are loosing their minds, and out of Texas comes a profit, leading the lost and displaced away from danger.  What’s her deal?  Well, someone seems to know, and we get a history lesson in pre-human civilization, and hints of what is to come.  And then there’s Liz’s adventures in trailer park living.  Bad, bad business.


    There is an art shift half way through this volume, with Tyler Crook taking over from Guy Davis.  He does a pretty good job of not making the shift too distracting, and while not as distinct a style as Davis’s, I think it’s perhaps a bit easier on the eyes.  For all the horror contained in this book, it feels like a relatively restful intake of breath, before it all goes down.


Russia

    And so, in this volume, it all starts to go down hill fast.  When Kate takes a trip to Russia, we see that things haven’t been going too well there, either.  The world is breaking down, the rules are being forgotten, and people are learning to live with a lot of things.  A lot of pretty awful things.


    It feels like with the trip to Russia, the new conflict in a post Frog war world is revealed.  Pieces are being put on the board, and the first moves are made.  Kate is forced to finally accept that Hellboy is gone, and what’s up with Abe this time?  No wonder Abe and Hellboy were such good friends.  Both have greatness written in their destiny.  Both want to do good, to be good, to fight for good.  Yet both built for cataclysmic evil.  That’s got to weigh on a person, be they a fish man or a demon.


    The first three volumes of Hell on Earth are steeped in the cosmic dread one expects from Mike Mignola’s world.  For all the fun and excitement of Hellboy and Abe’s pulp flavored adventures, there has always been an underlying doom of growing, rolling, unstoppable horror, and in B.P.R.D., that horror is bursting out of its prison, hungry and wild.  Can the broken and battered investigators and agents of the Bureau save humanity?  Can they at least buy us a few more sunrises?  It’s looking less and less likely.


B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: New World
Authors: Mike Mignola & John Arcudi
Artist: Guy Davis
Publisher: Dark Horse Books
ISBN: 978-1-59582-707-4

B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: Gods and Monsters
Authors: Mike Mignola & John Arcudi
Artists: Guy Davis & Tyler Crook
Publisher: Dark Horse Books
ISBN: 978-1-59582-822-4

B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: Russia
Authors: Mike Mignola & John Arcudi
Artists: Tyler Crook & Dave Stewart
Publisher: Dark Horse Books
ISBN: 978-1-59582-946-7



-Matt

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Dork Art: The Mignolaverse (+ AVP) in 2014!


The other day, Dark Horse Comics editor Scott Allie spoke with Bloody Disgusting about their horrific plans for 2014.  In the article you'll read about the new Prometheus, Grindhouse, and Strain comics.  Not to mention the ever expanding Alien vs Predator saga.  Frankly, the coolest aspect about that Battle Royal is the above cover by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola.  I don't think I've ever seen him tackle those icons before (at least not together), but these beasts are absolutely perfect for Mignola's newly  refined style.  The man is just getting better with age.  Also, he talks a little about the next Hellboy in Hell arc titled "The Death Card," as well as the epic "Reign of the Black Flame" about to devastate the BPRD ongoing.  Things are not going well for the last humans of Earth.  Again, if you are not reading this series then you are missing out on the single greatest Apocalypse story ever fashioned in any medium.  The below covers for next year's BPRD issues 115-119 showcase the history of the franchise from folks like Mignola, Richard Corbin, and Kevin Nowlan.




--Brad

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Matt’s Week in Dork! (6/16/13-6/22/13)



    On Sunday, in preperation for the next meeting of the graphic novel club, I thought I’d get myself into a Thor mood by digging up a few single issues of Thor comics I somehow acquired.  I read issue 600, which wasn’t very good.  The main story has to do with Odin’s father coming back into the world, but it doesn’t seem to go anywhere, at least nowhere interesting.  The issue is then padded by a mildly enjoyable goofy comic and some bloody awful Stan Lee ‘classic’ stuff.  Meh.  Issue 601 wasn’t much better, but it was less cluttered.  J. Michael Straczynski is a frustrating figure.  He wrote one of the great sci-fi TV series, Babylon 5, but seemed (seems) unable to do much of anything else worthwhile again.  The pile was missing issue 602, but I got the gist.  603 was pretty much more of the same, though there was a really funny bit about a guy wanting an omelet.


Man of Steel:  “You can save them all.”  So, if you’ve been keeping score, with a few recent exceptions, I generally don’t like Superman.  Most of the time he’s straight up boring.  The rest, he’s bloody awful.  He’s been written by a lot of people for film, TV, comics, etc. and I haven’t ever been a fan.  Director Zack Snyder has made a bunch of movies I’ve really enjoyed, but his last film was Sucker Punch, one of the worst films in the last decade.  The trailers for this film felt like they were trying to go for that mythological, melodramatic, epic feel I dig.  And having just read All Star Superman, which also goes for that, and does such an amazing job, I was ready.  Sadly, this movie only gets part way there, stumbling almost as often as it succeeds.  It’s good, but not great.  And it felt like it should have been great.  One problem surfaced right away.  Hand-held.  No, Hollywood.  Stop.  Do I have to roll up a paper and thwack your nose?  Bad!  No hand-held!  I don’t want to get motion sickness while I’m watching a movie.  They have tripods and other rigging.  Use ‘em.  The second problem was the action.  I know this is a weird thing to say about what is basically an action movie, but there was too much of it.  The action scenes went on entirely too long.  The battle in Smallville, which seemed to accomplish next to nothing in terms of moving the story along, must have taken five minutes.  And the final fist-fight was interminable and unnecessary.  It felt like the movie had climaxed and was ready for final resolution…then another battle!  Ugh.  I was ready for the wrap-up and instead we have a second attempted climactic battle.  That’s one climax too many.  Cutting out that final battle, and trimming the other action bits by say a third, I think the movie as a whole would have been better.  And while Superman has always had religious overtones, Krypton being lost Israel, Superman being kind of a parallel of the Jewish experience in the States, then later shifted toward a Christ figure, the religious iconography and allegory got to be a bit much in this.  The scene in the church where he’s talking with the picture of Jesus right by his head…not subtle, guys.  Now that all sounds pretty negative, I know.  But I did actually like the movie, and it has a lot of good parts.  I liked Amy Adams and the Lois Lane character in general.  She’s less abrasive and harpy-like than I’m used to with Lane.  The rest of the cast all did a fine job, and it was fun picking out That Guy actors, including some Battlestar Galactica regulars (filmed in Vancouver?).  I liked the emotion and the Shakespearian grandiosity.  I liked that they did a lot with building Superman as a hero in the Nietzschian mold, something to be striven for, but not a god or a king; an ideal to build oneself into.  There is even a paraphrasing of that great line from All Star Superman, ‘They will race, and stumble, and fall and crawl and curse, and finally, they will join you in the sun.’  I also like that the film gave lots of moments to everyday human heroism.  It wasn’t just a matter of Superman saving people, it was people saving each other.  Though there was plenty of staring and screaming and running, this wasn’t the typical crowd, unable or unwilling to do anything without a superhero’s help.  So again, a good, but not great Superman film.  Certainly the best film adaptation of the character to date…but that’s not really saying much.  Next time, put the camera on a danged rig and hold it steady, and maybe have a more interesting foe.


Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides:  “Oh!  He’s even more annoying in miniature.”  Though Johnny Depp’s turn as Jack Sparrow in the first Pirates movie seems to have redefined his recent career, turning the once versatile actor into a DeNero style self-parody, I enjoy the crap out of this series, and would be back every couple of years for a new adventure without any reservation.  They’re fun, light entertainment that do something rarely done before…make pirate movies fun to watch.  I know there was a time when these types of films were a dime a dozen, but I don’t know why.  Even some of the more famous, ‘classic’ pirate films are extremely boring.  While this series manages to play on all the genera tropes, it has lots and lots of fantasy fun with them, giving us not only adventures on the high seas, but all the myths and monsters of the era as well.  I’d have liked more Ian McShane and less Penelope Cruz, but it’s still a great deal of fun.  It would be difficult for me to care less about the young missionary and the mermaid love story.  I like working mermaids into the mythos, but their story is dull and the actors lack charisma.  The screen time wasted on them could have been used better focusing on McShane, Depp, and Geoffrey Rush.


    Monday night, I started watching The Mod Squad.  It’s a fairly fun cop show, and I enjoy the out of touch vision of then modern youth culture.  The ‘long hair’ rich boy who just looks like a garden variety actor and clearly is not ‘hip.’  Awesome.  Peggy Lipton is pretty in that way that would become more common in the 70s.  And I’ve always liked Clarence Williams III, so it’s cool seeing him in an early role.


    Tuesday night, I went through another disk of Space: Above & Beyond.  Had my first straight-up good episode, and the first episode where I didn’t hate Hawkes.  It’s a show that does seem to get better as it goes, though the three leads are still pretty weak.  I do wish this series had come along a decade later.  It probably would have been more consistent.  Maybe some day someone could do a Colonial Marines (from Aliens) TV series.  I imagine it would have a similar vibe/structure…though hopefully more interesting characters and better special effects.


Two Moon Junction:  “I’m not a princess.”  My Twin Peaks journey drove me to check out this bit of late 80s trash.  Bad ADR and harsh lighting make it look made for TV.  But at least the story is stupid.  No bleach-blonde young socialite can resist the rugged charm of a be-mulleted carnie (I know.  Richard Tyson just has long hair, not a mullet…but I’m in it for the laughs).  Sherilyn Fenn is darned cute, though she looks super-weird as a blonde.  I guess it’s a sign of what actors do, but I don’t really find her especially compelling or attractive (we’re talking charismatically, not aesthetically) in this film, like I do in Twin Peaks.  Richard Tyson is a very 90s actor (his diagnosed shirt allergy is tragic).  I don’t know how else to describe him.  He’s bland and slightly abrasive…like that decade.  But I’ve always been kind of surprised he didn’t do better in the 90s.  And holy crap!  Little kid Milla.  Weird.  It feels like this movie was the basis for Cinemax.  Like everything that came after it, Animal Instinct, Wild Orchid, and all of that, spawned from this dumbass film.  No surprise from the guy behind The Red Shoe Diaries.  She’s naked.  He’s holding a puppy.  It’s so romantic.  Oh, wait.  I mean stupid.  For an ‘erotic’ film, this movie lacks pretty much anything I would call eroticism.  It’s like a boring episode of Thirtysomething…with boobs.


The Pit and the Pendulum:  “How can they confess if they don’t have tongues?!”  One of the first Full Moon movies, and along with Aliens, the beginning of my Lance Henriksen fandom, this is a pretty good low budget take on the classic story.  It’s all about the Spanish Inquisition, and the insanity of religious bureaucracy gone too far, and power put into the hands of a zealot.  It’s pretty darned over the top, but a lot of perverse fun.


Hellraiser:  “We have such sights to show you.”  If the stars shifted, the Old Ones returned, and I found myself in charge of a major film studio, there are a few remakes I’d like to do.  One would be, like Peter Jackson before me, to do my own version of King Kong.  Since he beat me to it, I may just have to pass on it now.  Second would be to do my own version of The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  Oh, man, would I do an upsetting version of that film.  Eat your heart out remake of Cat People!  But third on my list would be either the Phantasm series or this, Hellraiser.  Clive Barker’s adaptation of his own novel, The Hellbound Heart, is interesting but not actually all that good.  It hints at more, at better things.  The sequel picks up on some of those, but still misses the boat.  I would love to get my hands on it.  The idea that the Cenobites are more than just demons or angels, that they are some kind of extradimensional beings, explorers in the realms of sensation and experience, is full of potential.  And the box is a powerfully iconic artifact that could be explored in lots of different ways (I actually do like a bunch of what was done in Hellraiser: Bloodline).  Kirsty Cotton (ignoring where the series takes her) is not an especially interesting protagonist, nor are her uncle and stepmother especially powerful villains.  Her dad seems like a nice guy, and her boyfriend is a snore.  The movie is really best looked at as a treasure trove of ideas.  Sadly, most of those ideas don’t bloom here.


Heat:  “That lady who wears dark glasses at night asked me to give you this.”  Burt Reynolds, man.  Burt Reynolds.  It’s weird to see him picking on someone because of a bad hairpiece.  It’s a strange film.  He’s a hired goon who needs money to move to Italy.  His hooker friend gets all stove up and wants revenge.  That nerdy guy from Ghostbusters II is nerding it up.  The plot wanders around a bit, with people coming in and out.  It feels a bit ‘slice of life’ in the way the story progresses.  Honestly, Reynolds is pretty good in this.  It’s not a great movie, but it’s watchable.  And Reynolds does harpoon a dude with some rebar.


Man of Steel:  OK, so friend Ben didn’t get to see this the first time ‘round, so I accompanied him to what was my second viewing.  My first and biggest complaint is still the shoddy hand-held camerawork.  It’s atrocious, and makes me feel seriously ill on more than one occasion.  My other complaints remain, as do my positive assessments.  The second viewing does make me realize that I actually really like the movie up until one specific point, marked by the death of someone close to Clark and the re-introduction of Zod and cronies.  From that point on, the movie goes from a solid B (marks off for shaky cam) to a C.  The wanton and callous destruction does seem a bit much.  In another movie, like a disaster, war, or alien invasion film, it might have felt a bit more on target, but the fact that Superman doesn’t seem to take much note of what must be millions of people being blown up, squished, gravity gunned, burned, and otherwise ended, seems a bit odd.  That he takes the time to make out with his girlfriend in a wide open field that seems to be made of the ash of millions of dead people also seems…ill advised.  This could have been better with a few tweaks to the plot, a few re-workings of the dialog, and a frickin’ tripod for the camera.  It’s OK, but it could have been good.  This second viewing is probably enough for me.  While almost certainly the best Superman movie, it’s still not that great, and I still don’t give two shakes about the character.  If there’s a sequel (ha, ha…if), I’m sure I’ll be there to see it.  But it won’t be making my most anticipated list…Unless things get really dark in the land of movies.


    I read the science fiction short story The Little Black Bag by C.M. Kornbluth.  It’s an odd one, and has a great nasty ending.  It would probably make a really good short film.  And on Friday morning, I finished the fourth and final volume of B.P.R.D.’s Plague of Frogs epic.  Man, that series is waist deep in the apocalypse and still charging forward.  Can’t wait to see what the rosy sounding ‘Hell on Earth’ storyline will bring.


    And finally, on Saturday, I rejoined the modern world with the internet.  I imediately plunged into an orgy of time wasting, blankly looking at all the various sites I haven’t had time to regularly check up on, poring over old blogs, and watching episodes of Q.I. into the deep hours of the evening.  I’m back.



-Matt