Matt’s Week in Dork! (1/12/14-1/18/14)

    I suffer for my art.  I’m not getting too deep into it here, but I made some choices this week that had some repercussions, and even as I write this nearly a week later, I’m still feeling ‘em.  This is Chinatown.  Anyway, I finished reading a book, got some writing done, and generally had a pretty good week, in spite of some painful sleep deprivation.

Brave:  Upon second viewing, I still want this movie to be so much more than it is.  Pixar takes on the Medieval fantasy epic and ends up with a mild bit of entertainment.  It’s beautiful to look at, and the characters are fun.  But there’s not nearly the amount of awe or heart one would expect from Pixar or a movie called Brave, featuring a red haired princess with a bow.  I know the production was rather storied, with the original writer/director getting the boot part way through.  And the film does feel tonally awkward, like something was lost in translation between directors, maybe.  I keep hoping they’ll do a sequel that can get past the issues of the first and tell a more exciting, more heart-felt adventure tale.  Merida could be a very good character, and something Disney/Pixar needs, a proactive female hero.  But this movie does not live up to its potential.

The Driver:  This film has three major problems.  Ryan.  O.  Neal.  I don’t know what was in the water in the 70s that made people think O’Neal could be a leading man or anything more than a background extra (assuming scenes called for lifeless hunks of wood to drain energy from the shot).  He’s absolutely dreadful.  A bowl of gravy is more dynamic and exciting.  You can see that this movie (along with Thief) were hugely inspirational to the far superior Drive, but even in that comparison, Ryan Gosling’s dead-eyed Driver is SOOOO much more interesting to watch (and this from a guy who finds Gosling a bit hard to look at).  Otherwise, I enjoyed the movie.  It had a lot of that pointless dickery between characters that was so common in the 70s, but the look and feel of the film make it worth that slog.  Honestly, if Ryan O’Neal were replaced by another actor…or a crash test dummy with a photograph taped on the face for example, the movie might be considered a classic.  As it is, it’s worth a watch if you like the era or are a big Drive fan, but there’s no reason to rush right out and see it.

Doctor Strangelove:  There are parts of this movie that I love.  There are other parts, mostly the last ten minutes or so, that I simply don’t get.  Peter Sellers is absolutely fantastic as Mandrake, and as Muffley.  But as the titular Dr. Strangelove, while wacky, I didn’t find him especially good.  In fact, it seemed more like a Gene Wilder character…and I don’t mean that in a good way.  Sterling Hayden and George C. Scott are intensely crazy and wonderful.  And the movie is shockingly dark.  Maybe not so shocking, considering it’s a comedy about Nuclear War.  But it’s grim, man.  Some of the dialog is so horribly funny.  As a whole, I find the film too uneven to sing the praises of, but at the same time, it should be seen.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension:  “Why is there a watermelon there?”  As a young lad, I watched a few movies more than a few times.  They spoke to some essential part of me in some way.  Howard the Duck, Big Trouble in Little China, The Princess Bride, and yes, Buck Banzai.  An homage to the adventure heroes of the past (specifically Doc Savage), Buck Banzai was still dripping with the wilder elements of the 80s.  An all star cast of that-guy actors turn in heart-felt performances, giving it their all for a movie that probably shouldn’t have worked.  Though funny, the film isn’t the joke it might have looked like on paper.  There’s some serious (and seriously strange) world building, developing a history for its characters, even tertiary ones.  I can not recommend this movie strongly enough.  But you’ve got to be ready.  You’ve got to embrace the madness.  And it’s there, believe me.  It’s one of the most powerfully strange films ever made.  And at no point does it pull back and give you a moment to readjust.  You’ve got to roll with the punches.  It’s so worth it, though.

Tales from the Crypt:  Yeah, this movie’s dull.  A bunch of TV actors and Peter Cushing enact a handful of lifeless horror tales.  Anthology films are usually hit and miss.  This one is miss and miss by more.  The TV show, for all its many faults, is a far more worthy effort.

    I finished Hedy’s Folly, a good overview of Hedy Lamarr and George Antheil’s inventive collaboration.  Like a good book should, it got me wanting to read more about various elements.  And like a lot of these history books I’ve been reading, gave me some story ideas.

You’re Next:  Had this film just had a tripod or a steady cam, I’d have enjoyed it a heck of a lot more.  The first half is pretty blah, but the second half makes up a lot of ground.  It’s funny, intentionally, without being jokey.  The gore effects are practical, which is a welcome surprise in this day of crappy looking CG blood.  It’s pretty darned violent, without being annoying about it.  And as I said, the second half is really good.  Once they get the obligatory and not especially surprising twist out of the way, and shift the tone a bit, it improves drastically.  But that shaky cam.  I simply can’t get past the shaky cam.

Sudden Fear:  Hardly one of the best Noir out there, this tale of a petty slight being repaid ten fold is still quite good.  Joan Crawford is not an actress I’ve ever found particularly drawing up to this point, but she’s excellent.  I may have to refocus a bit on her in the coming months.  And the giant skulled visage of young Jack Palance is terrifying and wonderful.  Seeing the story play out is at turns heartbreaking and exhilarating.  Noir fans should definitely check this one out.

Gojira:  As a pretty big Godzilla fan, it’s kind of odd to say this, but the first film is actually not anywhere near my favorite of the series.  Going back and watching it, I see it more as a film about the shattered societal mindset of post WWII Japan.  Much of what I love about the series is missing here, with the exception of the emphasis on the every day struggles of people in the face of unthinkable horror.  As the folks at Criterion said in their Three Reasons trailer, “It’s not just a monster movie.”

The 'Director's Cut' was weeeeird!

The Snow Maiden:  A Russian folk tale fantasy film, the production design is beautiful, and the story is interesting.  But the pacing is a bit ponderous.   There are so many singing numbers, it gets to be a bit much.  Still, the look and feel of the movie are very good if you’re in the mood for medieval fairy tale settings.  I just wish the story was more interesting and the pace a bit quicker (it was Russian, so I know I'm asking a lot).

The Other: “I’m king of the mountain…Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!”  Two creepy-ass twins are living on a farm in the 30s in this slow paced supernatural tale.  The twins seem to have some kind of psychic ability, being guided by their old Russian grandmother.  One kid is a little bastard and one is a whiney snot.  I think this could be an interesting story, but it isn’t.  It’s just kind of boring.  Oh, gosh.  And then there’s the twist.  Ugh.  The twist.  I think maybe this is the movie I’ve been mistaking for The Little Girl Who Lived Down the Lane for years.  I remember being freaked out by seeing it on TV at a friend of a friend’s house when I was probably 6 or 7.  Both have that weird, uncomfortable 70s horror movie vibe, creepy kids, and a slow pace.

    On Saturday, I got the word that a short film script I wrote is ready, and a potential actor is being contacted.  That made me very happy.  And over the course of the week, I’d finished up doing an outline for another script.  So, I spent much of the afternoon and evening working on that.  I got about a third of it written.  Not bad so far.  But there’s a long way to go.

-Matt

A Fistful of the Maligned! (Matt’s Picks)

Sexy Frankenstein!

    Every year, as the nation tries to catch its breath, trim some of its holiday fat, and generally get back into the swing of things, Hollywood dumps a bunch of mid-level or less films, movies the studios have little to no faith in, or that featured various problematic productions.  The stuff they’ve spent the money on, but don’t want to put any more effort into selling to the public.  The dregs and the castoffs.  And on occasion, the really amazing films that come out of nowhere.

    So as we prepare to sift through the mud, looking for a pearl or two, co-Dork Brad and I are looking at a few movies that have, for whatever reason, never quite hit it off with the adoring public.  Those movies we love, that were/are hated by the general viewer.  As Brad pointed out, given enough time, most movies will find their audience.  And as we’re glowing examples of, the internet will give those audiences a voice.  So, hear my voice as I give you a rundown of five of my favorite movies that nobody seems to like.  And I’m not even going to bring up the fourth Indiana Jones film…oh, wait, I just did (read my review of that film here).

5.  Southland Tales:  Richard Kelly’s follow-up to the cult favorite Donnie Darko was over-ambitious, over-long, over-budget, and way, way over-weird for it to possibly be a success.  The first time I watched it (on video, because I never even saw rumor of it playing in theaters), I stared for all two hours and twenty five minutes, mouth agape, marveling at what I was seeing.  Was I watching a colossal disaster, or a glimpse at genius?  At the end of my first viewing, I could not answer that.  But I was so effected by the film that I went out the next day and purchased a copy, brought it home and watched it again (subjecting Brad to it at the same time).  Upon second viewing, I fell firmly on the side of genius.  A fully realized alternate world, with countless subplots, weird technologies and religions, wildly weird characters, cracking and funny dialog, and one of the first truly great Dwayne Johnson performances.  Can I understand why it didn’t connect with people?  Yes.  Absolutely.  In no way am I surprised that this film is A) largely unseen and B) disliked by most who have seen it.  But I love it.  A lot.

4.  The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen:  Terry Gilliam is a divisive fellow anyway.  You’ve got a lot of folks like me, who sing the praises of his bent, surreal masterworks like Brazil and Time Bandits.  And then you’ve got folks (again, like me) who love his mainstream success, 12 Monkeys.  But there’s not a lot of love out there for his fantasy adventure film The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen, featuring a then 60 something John Neville as the titular character, a man of tall tales and taller personality.  With every visual trick in his fairly thick book, Gilliam created a disconcerting world of creepy and funny characters, drawing on history and fairy tale in equal parts.  It’s funny and scary, heart warming and heart breaking, and all such a joy to watch.  But few people seem to have seen it, and fewer still to have thought much of it.  Like the other oft forgotten or ignored fantasy film, The Dark Crystal, this movie holds a very special place deep in my heart.  And the Baron remains one of my all time favorite characters.

3.  The English Patient:  OK, how do I justify a Best Picture winner?  Well, since this movie won the Oscar, it’s made almost every ‘worst film to win an Oscar’ list I’ve seen.  And whenever I mention the film, I get a groan and an eye-roll, like when you mention a particularly dense book someone was forced to read in high school.  But this is not only one of my favorite movies, it’s also a film I unabashedly point to when people say ‘the book is always better than the movie,’ and shout ‘not always!’  Almost everything I love about film comes from the script/direction by the late, great Anthony Minghella.  Almost nothing comes from the book, which ranks among the worst things I’ve ever read.  The film captures the epic story of lives torn apart and thrust together by war, the hope and excitement of archeology and exploration, the wonder and pangs of new love, the awful way we treat each other and the deep need we have to share our lives.  It’s gorgeous, with swelling music and amazing performances.  And it’s the closest thing to a classic epic of yesteryear I’ve seen in a long time.  For me, this movie sits alongside Lawrence of Arabia for its emotional impact and wistful draw.  And like Casablanca, as I age and experience more of the ups and downs of life, the movie means more and more to me.

2.  Speed Racer:  So people hated the Matrix sequels.  I know.  Though I enjoyed much of the second film, and actually really like the third, they didn’t go in the direction I’d have liked; that’s for sure.  In stead of creating an epic science fiction action trilogy about humanity and its war with the machines, what we actually got was an action glossed meditation on philosophy and mythology.  OK.  So, when Speed Racer came out, I think most people didn’t give two craps about it.  In part because they were so disappointed with the Matrix films, and in part because most people didn’t even remember the original Japanese cartoon the film was based on.  Add to that, no stars to get too excited about and a PG rating, and I think it just didn’t have the muscle to drag people to the multiplex.  When you watch the film, you’re likely tempted to just enjoy the light show and let the content pass you buy.  On the surface, it’s a bright, flashy cartoon with some live action actors goofing off.  But if you look deeper, the film is a heart-felt ode to the love of family and the pursuit of excellence.  Upon repeat viewing, I realized that Speed Racer is actually a masterful Kung Fu film, that involves Speed’s quest for self awareness and his eventual enlightenment.  The scene where he’s racing his brother’s ghost actually gets me choked up just thinking about it.  And the final race, when reality itself bends around Speed and he finally becomes one with everything is visually beautiful and emotionally uplifting in a way movies rarely reach.  Part of me feels that this film will eventually develop a cult following, and I’d love to catch it on some revival tour.  I would very much love to see it on the big screen again.

1.  Howard the Duck:  For this Dork, the 80s were a magical time, filled with movies about how dancing or rocking hard enough could change the world.  And it was a time filled with movies that make you sit back and say, ‘how the deuce did this ever get made?!’  Howard the Duck is one of the best examples of this, and one of those films that captures an aspect of my essential self many who know me don’t quite understand.  I have many friends who know the wonder of Big Trouble in Little China, Commando, and Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  But even my most die-hard, wacky, nerd buddies won’t go to the mat for Howard.  I will.  I have.  From Lea Thompson’s frizzy haired rocker-girl to Jeffery Jones’s wild-eyed alien possessed scientist, I love almost every minute of this film.  It goes for it in a way movies did for a brief time in the 80s, without all the 90s ‘whatever,’ wannabe hipster irony and cynicism.  And you know what?  I like the romance.  Though never consummated, I like the idea that this short, alien duck man can still find love with a beautiful woman, and that she can see through his outer shell to the good hearted dreamer inside.  As Shakespeare once said, ‘haters gonna hate.’  But I love this movie, and I don’t care how many dissenting voices call out against it.

-Matt

A Fistful of The Maligned! (Brad's Picks)

Oh January.  What a wonderful dumping ground you are.  The Awards Season is over.  The Oscar Nominations have been picked.  Goodbye 12 Years A Slave, hello The Legend of Hercules.  For most moviegoers this is a time for catchup, snatching the good word of Lone Survivor, Frozen, The Wolf of Wall Street, and American Hustle.  But we here at ITMOD dream of the great bad movie, or the next forgotten misunderstood gem.  Sure, Renny Harlin specializes in write-off trash these days, but as you'll see below, he's ticked off a fun film or two in his time.  Maybe his baby face Hercules will ascend to the art of high camp.  Or what about this Jack Ryan fellow?  Or Aaron Eckhart's sexy stick fighting Frankenstein?  Look - these are long shots.  But gold has struck in January.  Remember The Grey, or Doomsday, or Rambo.

And I love to play contrarian.  The Great Defender.  While the world championed the arty ennui of Frances Ha, I was going to bat for the offensively weird The Lone Ranger.  I don't think you can really call yourself a movie fan unless you've encountered and battled for the underdog.  But in the batshit trenches of the Internet you can find fellow weirdos, and suddenly distributers like Shout Factory start producing Special Editions of Halloween III and Tank Girl.  When putting together my own list of Favorite (Unfairly) Maligned films I found it difficult to choose older films - the problem being that given enough time even the most hated films find their fanbase.  So who knows what popularity the films below will find in the future; all I can tell you is that when friends hear of my enthusiasm for these flicks a quizzical look crosses their face.  My co-dork Matt joins me for some of these, but no matter how hard I try he can't bring himself to understand the films in slots 3 & 1.  I'm gonna break him one of these days.

5.  Your Highness:  I'm generally not a fan of pothead humor.  I've never smoked a joint in my life.  And the glorification of weed and booze irritates the hell outta me.  I'm a regular L7 (after all, I just used L7).  But dammit, I can't help myself when it comes the stupidity of Danny McBride, Seth Rogen, and James Franco.  Mixing their brand of idiocy with the absurdity of the Deathstalker genre ignites a childish glee within.  Teaming the foul sloth McBride with Franco's Prince Charming in a latex heavy quest through mushroom wizards, wood nymphs, and minotaurs?  Hell yes, that is hilarious.

4.  Knight and Day:  Released not to long after the couch jump incident, when the world turned against the smiling scientologist, Knight and Day is an inexplicably titled action romance from journeyman director James Mangold that tickled all my right fancies.  Tom Cruise is utterly bonkers here, his Ethan Hunt persona cranked up to 11 and it's both terrifying & appealing to Cameron Diaz's bored bridesmaid.  Their flirtation is adorable - a genuinely cute middle aged couple, something you do not often find in cinema these days and certainly not found within the action genre.  The challenge for you is to separate celebrity from the movies - tear up your US Weeklys, your People Magazines, set yourself free and rediscover your love of fiction.

3.  Die Hard 2 - Die Harder:  "Another basement, another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?"  Look, I'm not going to try and tell you that Die Harder is superior to Die Hard.  That's just foolish.  But Die Harder is a fascinatingly bizarre upping of the ante.  The film is filled with scenery devouring performances from a variety of familiar faces: William Sadler, Franco Nero, Dennis Franz, Fred Thompson, William Atherton, John Amos, Robert Patrick, Tom Bower, Art Evans.  Director Renny Harlin pushes the violence to extremes with blood splattered massacres, throat slicings, and icicle impalements.  There are not two lines of dialog without at least one juicy F Bomb.  Classy?  No.  But the sequel earns its "er" for sure.  Dumb and goofy, I love it.

2.  The Ladykillers:  Filmed directly after a true abomination (Intolerable Cruelty), but before their critical renaissance (No Country For Old Men), Joel & Ethan Coen chose to transplant an Ealing Classic to the American South.  They picked Tom Hanks for their ringleader and it's a shoot-for-the-moon performance not seen from the Oscar Winner since the early days of The Money Pit.  People tell me its not funny.  I don't get this.  I bust my gut laughing every time I watch another weirdo crook attempt old lady homicide.  The Ladykillers is not Fargo.  I see similarities to the comedy on display in Raising Arizona and The Hudsucker Proxy, but at the end of the day it's a feast of caricature.  You either accept that or you rewatch The Big Lebowski for the 100th time.

1.  Domino:  After years of photographic experimentation, Tony Scott took all his hand crank tricks, his splicing magic, his saturation pallet, and set fire to subtlety.  The "Based on True Events" screenplay doctored by Donnie Darko's Richard Kelly is an absurd assault on Reality Television and our celebrity obsessed culture.  Kiera Knightley gets pornographic with her posh accent, joining forces with the toeless Mickey Rourke, and showing Brian Austen Green & Ian Ziering how a true Beverly Hills diva throws a tantrum.  It involves nunchucks, machine guns, and lapdances.  There can't be a shot in this film that doesn't last more than half a second, but if you can train your brain to keep up, then Domino offers a sensory barrage like none other.  One of my absolute favorite films of the last ten years.

--Brad

Adam West's Batman Surfs Onto DVD!

Well this is POP! BAM! WOW!  Today on their blog, DC Comics announced via Conan O'Brien's twitter feed that the 1960s Batman TV show starring Adam West & Burt Ward is finally coming to DVD.  It's about frickin' time, right?  It's been a long, tedious conversation involving various rights issues and I honestly thought the day would never come.  Last year saw some headway as licensing deals between Warner Brothers and 20th Century Fox were struck in order to produce Hot Wheels, Action Figures, Barbies, and statuettes.  If they could play nice over toys, I guess the inevitable home video release was not too far behind.  But the question remains, will anyone buy a copy after decades of comic convention bootlegging?  I sure hope so.

Not too long ago, when Frank Miller's Dark Knight & Tim Burton's Caped Crusader were the tough new reality of costume crime fighting, it was cool to hate on the pop art of Adam West.  But times are a changing, the world of nerdom is stretching, and thanks to folks like Kevin Smith & Grant Morrison, Adam West can be cool again.  Like most kids my age, I adored the show in my youth but grew apart when my cynical teens kicked in.  It took my friend Robert to reintroduce me to the joys of the Dynamic Duo.  He snagged one of those bootlegs a few years back and we paired a couple Julie Newmar episodes with Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin for a Movie Night.  His intense love for the Dayglo Cowl opened my eyes; the great thing about Batman is that he can support every kind of genre.  We all love Miller's neck cracking badass and Bruce Timm's noir avenger, but we're not too cool to enjoy the silly of King Tut or the weird of Book Worm.  West's Batman explored the insanity of comics.  The lark of it.  And it's an essential part of the characters history.

No word yet on an actual release date, but let's hope it's sooner rather than later.  And let's also hope there is some massive, ridiculous box set in the shape of a William Shakespeare bust to sit on my mantel.  Wanna get nuts?  Let's get nuts.  Hope The Wife isn't watching too closely because I'm going to spend every last dime on "Holy Memorabilia, Batman!"  Until then, let's enjoy some brief Bat-Clips.

--Brad

Book Review: Hedy’s Folly

    Fans of Hollywood’s Golden Age will be familiar with Hedy Lamarr.  I first saw her opposite Charles Boyer in Algiers, and like most men do upon encountering her, fell in love.  Sadly, I was too young (10?), and she had long since retired (and was about 70).  It would never have worked.  As the years went on, I remained vaguely aware of her, seeing her in films too rarely as I built up my experience in classic cinema.  But I did note her passing with a bit of appropriate regret.  I knew, in the vaguest way, that she’d done some interesting stuff outside of acting.  I knew there was some WWII espionage or something, but I didn’t know the details.  And in spite of my love of orchestral music, I will admit, I had never heard of George Antheil.  Not once.  So this book, chronicling the unlikely meeting and collaboration of one of the most beautiful women to ever grace the silver screen, and the self proclaimed Bad Boy of Music, was enlightening, to say the very least.  It's a celebration of two wild lives and their world changing collaboration.

    This is not a biography of Lamarr or Antheil, though it does provide a good deal of biographical information for context.  Author Richard Rhodes jumps between two very different lives that almost seemed destined to cross paths, showing how each person grew, gaining knowledge and experience that would be invaluable when combined.  Lamarr grew up in Austria, the child of a well off family, in the years after the Great War.  Antheil traveled to Europe, part of that post War Paris community of American artists.  He had dreams of grandiosity, of changing the way music was made.  She had her eyes on the theater.  And all the while, War was brewing again.

    Though not written as a novel, one could very easily see this being turned into a film.  The backdrop of Europe in those heady days between wars, two charismatic young people, danger and secrets.  Fascinating stuff.  Hedy’s first marriage, to an arms manufacturer, exposes her to some interesting technologies.  And her technical inclinations are awakened.  Antheil marries, too, but faces money woes.  The two almost meet, even know some of the same people.  But it wasn’t to be, yet.  Of course, they do eventually meet, Antheil ‘selling out’ by doing movie scores, Lamarr hitting it big in Hollywood.  And together they would invent a technology that would go on, eventually, to shape the modern world.

    The book is an entertaining and informative read, but at the end, I was left a bit disappointed.  I think what it functions best as is a jumping off point for finding out more about the two central figures.  Hedy Lamarr remains a largely mysterious figure, with specific events being delineated, while little of her heart makes it onto the pages.  Perhaps the recent biography from Stephen Michael Shearer will accomplish that.  Whereas Antheil comes off as kind of a buffoon.  Throughout the book, it felt like the author was trying to cover for a friend; like he knew Antheil kind of a jackass, but he wanted us to focus on his good traits.  However, he dropped enough information about his bad behavior that the attempts to gloss over them ring false.  It does make me want to read Antheil’s own words, his biography Bad Boy of Music (yeah, seriously).  And reading this book prompted me to pick up a CD of his work, which I’ve enjoyed thoroughly.

    I think that both George Antheil and Hedy Lamarr are far more interesting characters than this book manages to capture.  However the story of their invention is presented well.  It’s a quick read, too.  Rhodes doesn’t mess about.  And as I said, it’s a good starting point for further reading.  More on Paris in the between war years, more on Hollywood’s Golden Age, more on Antheil’s futurist music, more on the technological advancements of World War II.  The best books make you want to read more, to learn more.  With that in mind, Hedy’s Folly gets my recommendation.

Hedy’s Folly
Author: Richard Rhodes
Publisher: Doubleday
ISBN: 978-0-385-53438-3

-Matthew J. Constantine

"I Have What You Need!" - Jim Jarmusch Doesn't Sparkle With Only Lovers Left Alive

Jim Jarmusch makes movies that always leave me gobsmacked.  Ghost Dog, Mystery Train, Down By Law, Broken Flowers. Those are four wildly different films that I utterly cherish.  Dead Man, Coffee & Cigarettes, Limits of Control.  Those are three films I find fascinating, but ultimately confounding.  The man seems to thrill on distancing his stories from his audience.  I'm never fully participating in the narrative, I'm at arm's reach, but I'm also desperate to pull myself in.  When I first heard that he was tackling the vampire genre with Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston, my only thought was, "That sounds right."  Who knows where I'll ultimately fall on this film, but I'm certainly intrigued by the UK teaser.  It's just the type of film Hiddleston needs to drag his Loki fangirls into, and I'm absolutely including myself amongst that legion.



--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (1/5/14-1/11/14)

Blink and you'll miss it.  That's what this week felt like.  2014 has barely started and I can already feel it slipping away.  I spent a good chunk of it compiling this year's Cinematic Resolutions, but I'm not quite ready to tackle any of them yet - which is certainly foolish if I have any hope in hades of devouring those Godzilla flicks before the latest reboot hits the big screen.  Gotta get hot.  I did manage to finish off Sweet Tooth & begin Grant Morrison's Animal Man.  Feels good to be tackling comics outside of the weeklies, and I hope it's a trend that lasts.  I'm tired of looking at all those unread trades piling up next to the bookshelf - Gotham Central, Doom Patrol, Infinite Kung Fu, Rasl, Swamp Thing, Loveless, and our next entry in the Graphic Novel Book Club, Sailor Twain.  New Year, and I want to refocus some of my dork energy into the other pop mediums.  Let's not forget I'm only halfway through Richard Stark's Parker series, and Darwyn Cooke is already adapting novels beyond my knowledge.  That ain't cool.

"What A World!" & "I'm Melting...I'm Melting!" by Jason Edmiston

I'm not bitching and moaning about the week, it just feels like it lacked focus.  I want to buckle down, but I guess I'm still decompressing from the massive 2013 movie dump I did in December.  This week started with a Late Show Drafthouse screening of Walter Hill's The Warriors.  My buddy Herms was in town from Texas, and it was a blast subjecting his fresh eyes to the Gang War crazy of late 70s New York City.  Yep.  This is the way it was folks.  Fact.  Matt & I also finally got ourselves around to witnessing the atrocity of the latest 47 Ronin.  Oh man.  What a waste.   So...yeah...the real highlight of the week was easily the Alamo 100 Raiders of the Lost Ark screening.  I've seen that film well over a hundred times now (at least 4 on the Big Screen), and it just never gets old.  Me & Indiana Jones?  It's true love.

The Warriors:  "I don't like the way you live." Ok.  I don't love The Warriors.  It's one of those seminal films of my youth that I just never bothered with.  The first time I saw the movie, I was 18/19 and well on my way to being a snooty film freak.  My initial thought back then was that Walter Hill perfected this sort of whacko gang land in his rock opera Streets of Fire.  Still, this film is a bit of a wonder, and I absolutely love its earnestness.  Here's a New York City in which Mimes rove the streets looking for trouble, where Baseball Furies terrify in warpaint, and where hillbillies in roller skates are the toughest dudes on the block. You can't help but chuckle at the sight of skinhead goons marauding about in a Road Warrior wagon. It's all about honor, friendship, and gash....uh...yeah, there are some awkward moments. The Warriors themselves always seem like a bad date away from running a train on their female companion - I know this, cuz our hero Swan says exactly that.  James Remar is the angry tough guy that gets taken off the stage when he fails to rape an undercover police woman.  So yeah, The Warriors, it's not too PC.  It's an icky fantasyland birthed from the same community fear that brought us Bernie Goetz and his cinematic Death Wish.   It's nearly two hours of confused, but somewhat intoxicating outlaw philosophy.  After all, as The Director's Cut clumsily establishes at the start, The Warriors is a story of courage similar to that of the 300 Spartans......uh....wha?

Sweet Tooth Vol 6 - Wild Game:  Gosh darn.  I just could not get past how damn sad this series got.  In a lot of ways it reminded me of Brian K Vaughn's Y The Last Man.  A Post-apocalyptic landscape.  An on-the-road quest to discovery the origin of a plague.  Bonds of friendship.  Bonds of love.   Maybe it's Lemire's somber, sometimes morose art-style, but I could never really connect to any other emotion than sorrow.  Sweet Tooth & Company finally reach their Alaskan destination, but the answers there are typically more ponderous than narratively satisfying.  Lemire writes a helluva page-turner; once I got back into this series, I was racing to the climax.  I love the sequential tinkering he puts his story through, and he's obviously having fun with the medium.  It's painfully refreshing to witness an artist utterly aware of his medium's visual importance.  This is not Brian Michael Bendis with neverending captions and word balloons.  Sweet Tooth is art.   But gloomy as hell, and I can already feel the story leaving my cranium.

Deceptive Practice:  The first time I encountered slight-of-hand artist Ricky Jay was as the narrator of Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia. That voice. Once heard it will live in your head. The next time I saw Ricky Jay was in David Mamet's Heist. That lead to an obsession with Mamet's films & plays which in turn lead to obsessions with Joe Mantegna, William H Macy, and Ricky Jay. Now for the first time, director Molly Bernstein takes us inside the tricks of Ricky Jay's trade. No, this is not a How-To on his artistry, but a sort of origin tale - a documentary that will drop your jaw in astonishment while also digging a bit into the history of stage magic. I'm a sucker for this type of thing. Penn & Teller. The Amazing Jonathan. Fun stuff. But Ricky Jay is an artist, a genius, and it feels like a privilege to get a peak inside.

Raiders of the Lost Ark:  "You want to talk to god?  Let's go see him together."  You know the deal.  On the verge of another World War, the American Government responds to rumblings of Hitler's Occult shenanigans by recruiting world renowned archeologist/adventurer, Dr. Indiana Jones.  It's an absurd premise born from the whacky pulp adventures of various movie serials, and succeeds thanks to Harrison Ford's uncanny badass charm.  This is one of those exceptional fits of character & actor.  Yes, you can imagine a world in which Tom Selleck traded idol for whip, but that's an offcentered Fringe universe where RC Cola reigns supreme.  No thank you.  The Big Bang Theory recently postulated that the good professor's presence in the narrative achieves absolutely nothing in the plot, but I actually think the futility of the Nazi's scheme adds an extra layer of apocalyptic gloom.  It's not a matter of Indy saving the day, but Indy bearing witness to God's Wrath.  Can't shake it.  Raiders of the Lost Ark is still the all time greatest adventure story.

47 Ronin:  If you're looking for an Asian Adventure with heavy doses of CGI then let me recommend Stephen Chow's Journey To The West.  If you're looking for a few against the many samurai slaughterfest then let me suggest Takashi Miike's 13 Assassins or the obvious Seven Samurai.  But if you're looking for the 47 Ronin saga told exceptionally then you better go with any other dozen retellings such as Kenji Mizoguchi's double feature or even Mike Richardson & Stan Sakai's recent Dark Horse Comic.  Cuz you're not going to want to bother with this one.  This film is nearly as lifeless as Keanu Reeves' performance.  It's a dull flop destined for banishment in the Wal-Mart five dollar bin or the black hole of streaming services.  Maybe some ignorant child will discover a curiosity for the genre after stumbling across it, but that's the best possible future this 47 Ronin can hope for.

21 Jump Street:  "They don't serve vegan in jail, bitch!"  I lost money on this one.  No way did I think a cinematic reboot of a crappy teen beat cop show from the 80s was going to work - especially one fronted by GI Joe's Duke Meathead.  Directors Phil Lord & Christopher Miller obviously enjoy a challenge; coming off a hilarious weirdo adaption of the unadaptable children's classic Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, they go foul mouthed, meta absurdist, and weirdly violent for the buddy cop genre.  21 Jump Street is too damn odd to be this generations Beverly Hills Cop, but I appreciate the life & death stakes filtered through a gross-out, silly Superbad sensibility.   And Channing Tatum shines with his role.  He's an adorable idiot wandering the world of nerdom and discovering humanity while Jonah Hill descends into assholehood via the cool crowd.  It's a dumb ass movie with brief hints of legit high school commentary.  Something the original show could never claim.

The Other Guys:  Playing with the same Buddy Cop nostalgia as 21 Jump Street, Will Ferrell & Mark Wahlberg are the station house dolts that never walk away from explosions while the world champions the heroics of Sam Jackson & The Rock's Lethal Weapons.  But when aiming of the bushes results in a Wile E Coyote-styled roadkill splat, Ferrell & Wahlberg rise to the challenge of gunkata gymnastics.  Although seemingly impossible, The Other Guys is far stupider than 21 Jump Street, but that's the universe of Will Ferrell, and it's impressive how well Mark Wahlberg inhabits the stupid - "I'm a peacock!!!"  The Bernie Madoff social commentary is welcome even when the actual mechanics of the plot get murky.  You're really just hear to watch Wahlberg torture himself over Ferrell's sexual ownership of Eva Mendes.  "Gator don't take no shit."

Cellular:  Based on a story by Larry Cohen (Hell Up in Harlem), written by Chris Morgan (Fast Five), and directed by David E. Ellis (Snakes on a Plane).  Cellular is actually an extremely entertaining thriller that fully commits to its gimmick.  Chris Evans is dragged all over Los Angeles after he answers an unknown caller, and a weak cell signal keeps him at an arm's distance from William H Macy's savior cop.  It all has something to do with corruption, video tape, and Jason Statham's sneering 5 o'clock shadow.  Sure, Cellular is disposable, but it's the perfect film to catch on TNT.

MST3K - Warrior of the Lost World:  "This isn't Mad Max, it's Sad Max."  The Italians know how to pilfer American Cinema better than most modern day Hollywood Suits, but for every Fistful of Dollars or Django, you get two dozen Warrior of the Lost Worlds.  Doing his best Blofeld, Donald Pleasence rules over a post-apocalyptic wasteland with the doomsday threat of Mega Weapon.  Robert Ginty mumbles his way into the heart of Persis Khambatta, and races through the ashes of exploded henchmen while Fred Williamson's reigns fire from above.  I really can't imagine surviving this movie without the Robot Roll Call, and MST3K feasts upon this horrid buffet with great gusto.  Lots of cheap shots, well played.

Tropa De Elite:  "Put your bad face on."  We're just a month away from Jose Padilha's Robocop remake, and as a means of battling my own anxiety, and thanks to my buddy Darren slapping an import blu-ray in my hand, I finally decided to see if all the fuss about Elite Squad is genuine.  Turns out, this is not the balls-to-the-wall shoot-em-up I had been lead to believe.  Elite Squad is an oppressive cautionary tale destined to keep me the hell out of Rio De Janeiro.  After years of battling unstoppable drug trafficking and corruption, Wagner Moura must find a replacement before his baby is born.  His options are a couple of kids facing their own hurdles in a vile system, and whatever the outcome the resolution seems utterly pointless.  Every Drug War story concludes in futility, but few have achieved such heartbreaking pessimism as Elite Squad.  There is plenty of action here, but I left the film more impressed with Padhila's societal assassination than his shaky-cam.  Hopefully he can retain that awareness for the Robocop.

Animal Man Vol 1 by Grant Morrison & Chas Truog:  I've owned these trade paperbacks for three years.  Only now am I tackling them.  Why did it take so long?  I have no idea.  I guess I was just waiting for Morrison to finish up his Batman run before tackling these supposedly iconic stories.  I think I was also nervous that they couldn't possibly live up to their hype.  Well, I'm happy to report, that the first volume of Animal Man is absolutely, utterly, stupendously fantastic.  And weird as hell.  Just the way I like my Morrison.  In the first four issues, stuntman Buddy Baker finally decides that its time to come out of retirement and embrace his mind-bendingly strange animal powers.  He can suck the life essence from any creature in his presence - meaning a bird above can give him flight or an earthworm below can help him regenerate a severed limb.  When he's hired by S.T.A.R. Labs to investigate a giant puddle of monkey meat, Buddy Baker comes face-to-face with an even grosser lost hero of the DC Universe - B'Wana Beast!!!!!  It's an epic clash of the "Oh Dear God" and it's a sobering warning to any reader not ready for Grant Morrison.  This is the deep end kiddies, time to get nuts.  The next issue is a one-shot look into God's Lonely Man, Wile E. Coyote.  Yep, you read that right.  No Looney Tunes character is safe.  You also get the apocalyptic art of Hawkworld, a super villain satirizing of Edgar Allen Poe, and a home invasion from Mirror Master.  Those looking for Superman should take a hike.  I've had a few things spoiled for me, but my understanding is that Morrison's Animal Man only gets better and more bizarre in the next volume.  Can't wait.

--Brad