The Dorkies 2014! (Matt's Picks)

    After two pretty rough years, 2014 finally brought it home for me.  Sure, it’s not 2011, but it’s a good year.  While the Fall season produced few films of note, the earlier part of the year was quite nice.  And that meant that I didn’t have such a glum demeanor throughout.  There were, perhaps, few so called ‘great’ films.  But there were plenty of good ones, and that’s OK by me.  Plus, they were all over the place, from drama to action, foreign to domestic.  Nice.  Take a look back at Dorkies past with 2011, 2012, and 2013.  And give a listen to our ITMODcast episodes about our top 10 movies; episode 1 and episode 2.


10.  The Raid 2:  The Raid and Dredd came out the same year, and they’ve got basically the same ‘plot.’  Between the two, I preferred Dredd, in part because of the science fiction elements; in part because they finally got the character right on screen.  But The Raid still slipped on to my top 20 list, because of how awesome the action and fighting were.  So, I was glad to see the sequel, but not especially expecting much.  What I got was a thrill ride whirlwind of extreme violence and visceral horror.  Half way through the movie, I was begging characters to start using guns to kill people, just to be more humane.  The story, while nothing new or special, does take the characters into new territory and the acting and character beats make the movie stand out among its peers, if the tremendous fight choreography didn’t already.

9.  Cold in July:  Director Jim Mickle has been making low budget horror films that have been among the best in recent years (Mulberry St., Stake Land, & We Are What We Are).  This time around he turns his eye on an 80s set crime story, and it’s awesome.  You will not be ready for where the film takes you.  When you think it’s one kind of story, it becomes another.  And when it goes dark…It goes so danged dark.  And Don Johnson!

8.  All You Need is Kill (aka Edge of Tomorrow):  Though there have been a lot of very disappointing science fiction movies lately, there really have been a lot of good ones.  In this Groundhog Day style story of a man stuck repeating the moments before his death at the hands of alien invaders, Tom Cruise gets to do what he does best in solid action scene after solid action scene.  The film doesn’t talk down to the audience, which is nice.  There’s a good story, and a good protagonist character arc.  But what I also really liked was that Emily Blunt, who is quickly becoming a Matt favorite, gets a meaty, badass role.  Science fiction film remains far, far behind the literature.  But I’m hoping that at least in the coming years, we can finally see women getting better parts in genre films.  More like this, less like Anne Hathaway in Interstellar (The crying…Oh, the crying).

7.  Mr. Turner:  It’s not too surprising that a movie about a painter would be beautiful.  But this late life story of J.M.W. Turner is more than a visual feast.  As the camera moves around through his day to day life, we get a growing understanding of the man and his world, of the wonders and horrors of life in Victorian England.  On the surface, the film is bright and beautiful, with less of the grim, sooty gloom you might expect from the world of Dickens and the like.  But as Turner’s servant slowly rots and one by one people die of various sicknesses, or chronicle lives of shattering horror, the viewer is reminded of just how terrible the past was, even for those we think of as privileged (in this case, the British upper class).  I like that the film doesn’t feel the need to tell you a lot.  You watch, and you take it in, and you make your own judgments.  Turner’s extremely sweet and loving relationship with his father, his horrible relationship with an estranged family, his budding romance with a twice widowed woman, the awkward dealings with a self-important/self-destructive and money obsessed fellow artist, his puppy-like devoted servant… We see it all, but without being told what we should think.  (As a side note, I saw this right after seeing this year’s Belle, and they make fine companion pieces.  Belle takes place about a hundred years earlier, and both have interesting things to say about class and society in England of that time).

6.  Ida:  Gorgeous black & white cinematography draws you in to this story of a cloistered young woman, about to take her vows and become a nun.  Contacted by an estranged aunt Wanda, she takes a trip out into the world, where she learns about her past and what it is that she’s preparing to give up.  Generations of guilt and horror lurk, as Ida explores her family history and her aunt reveals dark secrets.  The Holocaust, the Communist purges, and the shadow of the Cold War.  Dang.  Like 2012’s Barbara, it looks at the other side of the Iron Curtain in a different way than I’m used to.  Ida and Wanda are two fascinating characters, set apart from their world for different reasons.  Quiet, but compelling.

5.  Guardians of the Galaxy:  Not a lot of movies, outside of the original Star Wars trilogy embrace the crazy, fun, weird, wild worlds of Space Opera.  And fewer still do it successfully.  Guardians of the Galaxy takes a handful of obscure Marvel Comics characters (though for once, characters I was familiar with) and thrusts them center stage.  And it’s Marvelous.  It’s like Farscape got a movie.  Fun, funny, irreverent, and full of heart.  The tone is light, but it still manages to tug on the heartstrings in ways the other Marvel Cinematic Universe films haven’t.  As a whole, I think the MCU films are fantastic, but individually, this and Thor are the only ones I truly love.  I feel like maybe I’m living in another Science Fiction golden age, akin to the 1980s.  Sure, I may be disappointed by the odd Prometheus or Interstellar, but I’m getting Science Fiction that ranges from thought provoking to heart pounding.  And I love it.  And finally, genre films like this are being seen and enjoyed by all, not poo-pooed by snobs.

4.  Jodorowsky’s Dune:  I saw a lot of documentaries this year, many of them quite good, many of them exciting and inspiring (see my top 20 for more).  But this portrait of professional mad bastard Alejandro Jodorowsky hits all my buttons.  It was a different time.  The 1970s.  And someone thought, let’s adapt the sprawling epic novel Dune for the big screen.  And of course, let’s put the man behind Holy Mountain and El Topo at the helm.  WHAAAAAAAT?  As this master of the weird assembled his Avengers of Transcendence, a movie that would shape decades of science fiction film would begin to grow.  But it was too much.  It couldn’t happen.  Yet, out of the death of this overly ambitious project, so much was born.  For a film buff, and specifically for a science fiction buff, this movie is a must.  And the central figure, Jodorowsky, is a marvel.  He lives up to everything you expect from the guy who wrote The Metabarons.  Makes me wish I could travel to an alternate universe, where Tom Selleck was Indiana Jones, Christopher Walken was Han Solo, and Jodorowsky made Dune (and perhaps took humanity to a new state of being).

3.  Under the Skin:  Did you watch Drive and think, “Why’s everyone talking so much?”  Did you see Only God Forgives and think, “Why’s there so much exposition?”  Well, have I got a movie for you.  I can’t really tell you what it’s about.  Figuring that out is part of the magic of watching the movie.  I can tell you this.  There is no exposition.  The film never tells you what’s happening.  It’s beautifully shot.  It’s occasionally horrific.  The first time I watched it, the ending really, really bothered me.  The second time I watched it, I came to the belief that the ending completely worked.  The music is very weird.  Hope that all helps.

2.  Godzilla:  I could gush and gush about this film.  It lived up to all my Kaiju hopes.  From the first teaser trailer with Oppenheimer’s “Destroyer of Worlds” speech to the moment Godzilla shot atomic destruction down the Muto’s throat, I was buzzing with excitement.  This is the Godzilla film I’ve been waiting for, the first one to really, really get to the heart of the beast since the classic Showa era.  Godzilla is the essence of the Earth, the manifestation of its will, nature personified.  Be it aliens, creatures from the deepest parts of the planet, pollution, or human meddling, Godzilla will put things to right, no matter how much gets broken in the process.  Bring on King Ghidorah!

1.  The Grand Budapest Hotel:  Probably the most meticulously Wes Anderson movie Wes Anderson has made yet, this film is at turns funny, crass, sad, and intensely strange.  If you allow yourself to buy into Anderson’s ‘Doll House’ film making, this will be a delightful journey.  Elements hearken back to Golden Age Hollywood, to European adventure movies, and to Cold War paranoia.  The cast and cast of characters are top notch Anderson, with plenty of regulars and a few new faces.  And Ralph Fiennes is in top form as the wonderfully debauched, debonair, and downright profane M. Gustave.

Best Actress:  Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl plays so many different roles, from sweet to Satan.  Pike’s changes through the movie elevate what could easily have been silly into a truly terrifying performance.  And sometimes, in spite of all the horror she does, you still find yourself hoping things work out for the best.  That’s a tough thing to sell.  (Runner up: Marion Cotillard in The Immigrant)

Best Actor:  Ralph Fiennes in The Grand Budapest Hotel is a profane charmer.  It’s a return of dashing Fiennes, and I love it.  He jumps into the hyper-stylized world of Wes Anderson and starts throwing dialog like he’s always lived there.  His delivery is as impeccable as M. Gustave’s Hotel.  A great comic performance if ever there were one.  (Runner up: Timothy Spall in Mr. Turner)

Best Supporting Actress:   Agata Kulesza in Ida almost steels the show as the weary and wary old revolutionary.  She is the bitter, shattered husk of a disillusioned party shill, and Kulesza manages to make you feel for someone that by all rights you should hate.  A monster in her latter days, possibly redeemed in some small way by gifts of worldly wisdom to her innocent niece.  (Runner up: Rene Russo in Nightcrawler)

Best Supporting Actor:  Dave Bautista in Guardians of the Galaxy took a character that could have been dull, even with the script, and spiced it up with his teddy bear charm.  It’s really a break-out role for him, and I hope that he can turn it into something.  (Runner up: Don Johnson in Cold in July)

Best Director:  Pawel Pawlikowski for Ida.  A beautiful, tight, well acted study of two women in the shadow of the Iron Curtain.  It may not be as flashy as some, but it’s darned fine.  (Runner up: Wes Anderson for The Grand Budapest Hotel)

The Bottom Five Films of the Year:

(I don’t even want to talk about how bad these movies are.  I’d simply advise not to bother).

5.  Raze

4.  Hector and the Search for Happiness

3.  Transformers: Age of Extinction

2.  Transcendence

1.  300: Rise of an Empire

"This!  Is!  ....Bullshit!!!"

Biggest Disappointments:

5.  Interstellar: Beautiful, with a great score and a couple good performances.  But kinda obvious and too rooted in 2001.  I’d rather go back and watch Dave, Hal, and the bone wielding apes than see the infinite bookshelf room again.

4.  Lucy:  I wanted to see a return to early Luc Besson.  Alas, no.  Just more contemporary Luc Besson (read: crap).

3.  Expendables 3:  That’s it.  I’m out.  I loved the heck out of the first two stupid movies in this stupid franchise.  But part three gutted the violence, focused on unlikable/unwatchable young actors and felt like it missed any and all points.

2.  Snowpiercer:  The look and concept are fantastic.  The script…not so much.  For this viewer, the film needed to be a 30 minute shorter action movie, or an 8 hour longer mini-series.  Nowhere near enough world building or character development to make me care when things start happening.  I feel like there was a good movie in here somewhere.

1.  The Immigrant:  The production design is beautiful and atmospheric.  And the three leads are all excellent.  Unfortunately, it seems like the three actors are in different films, acting past each other, not with each other.  Marion Cotillard is especially good and feels the most right for the story.  If only the film had focused on her, and not bothered with the weird, totally tone-deaf love triangle.  Alas.

Video Finds:

10.  Mr. Nobody:  A strange and interesting science fiction movie that deals with what might have been and what might be.  The differences in our futures based on the choices we make.  Similar in theme to Run Lola Run, it handles the topic in a very different way.

9.  The Ballad of Narayama:  A beautifully crafted fairy tale about age and death.  It has a beautiful artificiality that lends a lot to the feel of a tale told around a fire.

8.  Vanishing Waves:  This Lithuanian science fiction film is all kinds of weird.  Kind of a new take on Altered States, but with plenty of its own twists.

7.  Love:  A solid, artsy but not to pretentious science fiction film, shot on a budget.  It looks really good and has enough going for it that fans should seek it out.

6.  Legendary Weapons of China:  Plenty of badass weapon combat in this classic Martial Arts flick.  Great action.

5.  Age of Consent:  James Mason goes off to an island to get a sense of himself.  There, he meets a young woman who helps remind him of how to live life.

4.  Manborg:  What can one say about Manborg?  If you were (are?) one of those people who haunted the library stacks of video rental shops, hunting for that rare film you’d never heard of (Slipstream, Xtro, Basket Case, Spacehunter, etc.); if you waited with bated breath for the newest Full Moon or Troma video release; if you love a really good bad movie; you’ve got to check out Manborg.  It gets it so right, and so wonderfully wrong.  Obviously crafted by folks with a deep love for those obscure works of the past, it’s a thrill for a fan like me.

3.  The Wraith:  Related to Manborg, this is one of those 80s movies that used to sit on those very video rental shop shelves.  For some reason I’ll never understand, I hadn’t seen this film until this year.  Now that I have, I can’t believe it isn’t talked about more.  Such great 80s weirdness, great cast, and so much fun.

2.  Die Farbe:  I’m always on the lookout for good Lovecraftian horror films.  More, I’m on the lookout for good actual adaptation of Lovecraft’s work.  And here we have The Color Out of Space, in German.  It’s an excellent take on the tale, with fairly limited alteration (connections to WWII, for example) that do nothing to detract from the source (like the romance in the otherwise excellent The Resurrected).  Very much a film to seek out.

1.  Altered States:  One of those movies I’ve been aware of for what seems like forever, but have rarely heard good things about.  Often referred to as ‘boring’ or something similar.  For whatever reason, I decided it was time to break down and check it out, and I’m glad I did.  I loved it.  Steeped in all that post-Hippie, Utopian, drug-fueled, mad science stuff that I love so much in Fringe, Beyond the Black Rainbow, Rabid, and more, it’s got lots of cool images, some solid performances, and a pretty crazy ending.  For Fringe fans, this is a must, as it absolutely feels like the stuff Walter, Belly, and Nina were getting up to in those early days.

2014’s Most Forgettable:

Jack Ryan: Not a bad movie, but didn’t this come out years ago?  No?!  Wow.  I vaguely remember watching it, I guess.

Seriously, I have the ticket stub. I know I saw it.

Best Viewings at the Alamo Drafthouse:

5.  The Good the Bad and the Ugly

4.  Halloween III (this is up there with seeing Phantasm II & Razorback at the AFI Silver)

3.  City Lights

2.  Rocky IV

1.  3 Dev Adam (aka Turkish Captain America)

Glad to See You Again:

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.  I was glad to see a fun and enjoyable Middle Earth again.  After a lackluster first film and a crappy second, I was glad that the third Hobbit film was more enjoyable, and more in line with the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

Hey, It’s Better Than Avatar! (movies that might not be great, but they‘re better than Avatar):

5.  Chef

4.  Noah

3.  Interstellar

2.  How to Train Your Dragon 2

1.  Big Hero 6

The Life of Pi Award for Most Simpering New Age Crap:

Hector and the Search for Happiness

Best Documentary:

Life Itself:  While not shying away from the uglier sides of Roger Ebert, this ultimately uplifting film celebrates the man, warts intact.  More emotionally resonant than many fictional works, it made me love the life’s work of a man I rarely agreed with.

Mulder’s Beard (the one good thing in an otherwise unwatchable film):

Antonio Banderas’s crazy bastard performance in The Expendables 3

Best Score:

Under the Skin

Best Soundtrack:

Guardians of the Galaxy

Best Moment:

Godzilla’s Atomic Breath

Best God Fight:

Yahweh VS. The Sinful Hoards in Noah

Best Cameo:

Howard the Duck in Guardians of the Galaxy

My Most Anticipated Film of 2015:

Jupiter Ascending:  I’ve liked all the directors’ previous films and I’m super excited to see original, grand scale science fiction being realized on screen.  Sadly, while everyone complains so heavily about a lack of originality in movies, bemoaning sequels and remakes, everyone also seems bound and determined to ignore anything original.  Well, I’m gonna be there, dang it.  And so should you.  For the future.  For America.  For the children.

Top Twenty:

20.  Nightcrawler
19.  Captain America: The Winter Soldier
18.  Tracks
17.  The Signal
16.  The Rover
15.  Particle Fever
14.  Life Itself
13.  Tim’s Vermeer
12.  Belle
11.  Automata
10.  The Raid 2
9.  Cold in July
8.  All You Need is Kill
7.  Mr. Turner
6.  Ida
5.  Guardians of the Galaxy
4.  Jodorowsky's Dune
3.  Under the Skin
2.  Godzilla
1.  The Grand Budapest Hotel

-Matthew J. Constantine

Dork Art: Howard The Duck & Man-Thing Puppet

This past weekend Guardians of the Galaxy officially became the highest grossing August film ever - it's not only the biggest film of this summer, but it's already made more money than last year's Man of Steel.  That is crazy.  Nothing to bring the crowd in besides an excellent trailer, and the Marvel brand.  Talking trees, rocket raccoons.  What's next?  Doctor Strange?  Black Panther?  How about Howard The Duck?  As we saw in the post credits tag of the James Gunn movie, Seth Green brought voice to a new Howard.  The first time I saw the film, the tag brought a few "Wha??"s & a couple "WTF??"s from the crowd.  Me?  A big fanboy grin.  I've always been a fan.  I dig the George Lucas flick.  It's a awkward whackjob flick, perfectly encapsulating the confusion of the 80s.  But I understand the disdain.  I just wish that disdain didn't block fanboys from exploring the original comic book.  However, now's the time folks.  Howard The Duck is cool again.

Created by Steve Gerber & Val Mayerik, Howard The Duck first appeared in the pages of Adventures into Fear #19 when Marvel's Man-Thing fell into the Nexus of Realities, encountering both Howard and The Peanut Butter Barbarian....yeah, you read that right, The Peanut Butter Barbarian.  Eventually Howard The Duck got his own title, and it allowed for Steve Gerber to write some scathing satire amongst the webslingers and fantastic families.  It's a goofy, weird, and immensely fun book.  If all you know about the character is the Lucas flop, then I encourage you to snatch up a few of those early issues.  They run fairly cheap at cons, but maybe not for long.  Do I expect Howard The Duck in Marvel's Phase 3 or 4?  Doubtful.  The James Gunn tag is pretty much a one-shot joke.  Still, it's possible that Howard pops up in Guardians 2 or some other cosmic outing.  Right now, Marvel's testing the waters.  They're re-releasing the omnibus in October, Funko is adding him into their Pop Vinyl line, nd artist Val Mayerik is finding himself in the spotlight once again.

On September 20th, coinciding with Fantastic Fest, Mondo will be holding their very first Posterpalooza dedicated to the art of the one-sheet - Mondo Con.  The typical Mondo artists like Jason Edmiston, Tyler Stout, and Jay Shaw will be on hand hosting panels & releasing new exclusives.  But there's plenty of new blood.  Mike Mignola, Tim Sale, Bernie Wrightson and Val Mayerik.  Seriously enjoying the inclusion of these comic book greats.  Mayerik recently did a signing at Austin Books, where he was selling the Howard the Duck/Man-Thing print seen all the way at the top of this post.  I've already hit up ebay looking for this beauty, but no luck so far.  I want it.  I need it.  Hopefully, Mondo will make it available to the public soon enough.  Whatever the case, the time for Howard the Duck is once again upon us.  And there's no George Lucas to muck it up.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (8/17/14-8/23/14)

It's my birthday week!  You know what that means?  Summer is winding down, all the big blockbusters are done, and we've got another Expendables movie to get frustrated over. The real winners came from the B Movie Bin - Charles Bronson's Mr Majestyk & Roger Corman's Sorceress. You're gonna want to add these batshit beauties to your collection pronto.

The Expendables:  When I first heard this film announced, I was thrilled at the notion of seeing all my favorite 80s action stars (+ a couple of newbies) in one big testosterone orgy.  Stallone had just directed the single most violent experience in the Rambo franchise, and he put a proper emotional caper on the Rocky films.  However, in the wake of subsequent sequels, The Expendables is more than just a hint of a disappointment.  The dialogue is stilted, the violence tame, the fight choreography uninspired, and the thrill of seeing Statham, Arnie, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, & Stallone sharing the screen (or runtime as the case turned out to be) is no longer there.  The first Expendables is simply a collection of missed opportunities.  Sure, Terry Crews still packs in the charm and Dolph is a wondrous neanderthal, but Eric Roberts is a bore, the damsel is laughable, and it is just not BADASS enough.  This is not the excessive tribute I want.

The Avengers:  Now here is a film that pays off on its iconography.  As a response to this year's Winter Solider & Guardians of the Galaxy, there has been the inevitable chatter of what film ranks supreme in the MCU.  I really, really, really love the 2014 Marvel offerings, but I seriously doubt there will ever come a film in the franchise to match my enthusiasm for their first battle royale.  I enjoyed the Phase One films just fine, but it's in The Avengers where the characters start to gel.  Through their interactions with each other (Tony & Bruce, Tony & Steve, Tony & Fury...hmmm...we see who makes the big bucks here) the film solidifies the emotional weight of the narrative.  It's not about Cosmic Cubes and Chitauri warriors, it's about "I'm Always Angry," Cap's battle fatigue endurance, and Loki's big brother complex.  Joss Whedon strives to give each player a moment, and manages to reveal to the world the appeal of a star-spangled boy scout and a depressed green rage monster.  This is something comic book geeks have known for decades, and it's a hoot to see the rest of the world invited to the party.

The Expendables 2:  The second outing is where things really get dumb, but also a whole heckuva lot more entertaining.  But in that Laugh At kinda way.  Jean Claude Van Damme is The Goat - ooooooooooooooo - a nefarious Bond villain with a cache of nukes and a thirst for pretty boy blood (Watch Out Liam Hemsworth!).  Stallone gathers the team together to save the world, and demolish Eastern Europe.  Con Air's Simon West brings a little life into the direction, but the endless splatter of CGI blood only highlights the bullshit vibe of the whole Expendables concept.  You just can't go home again.  There is only one Rambo, one Terminator, one Delta Force.  Please stop "I'll Be Back"ing the dialogue, it's just awkward - not cool.

Howard the Duck:  Guardians of the Galaxy simply necessitated another rewatch.  I know this is one of Matt's Favorite Movies, and even though I cannot possibly join him on that particularly crazy point of view, I do think Howard The Duck is not the abomination some might have you believe.  In the same fashion as The Goonies or Wall Street, Howard The Duck expertly captures the weirdness of the 1980s.  From its earnest punk rock revolution to its broad jabs at consumerism, the film strives to capture the biting satire of Steve Gerber's original comic even when the jokes fall flat, and the performance stretch beyond the stratosphere.  It's a boggling movie.  But it's weird.  And it's fun.  Bestiality is hilarious, right?

The Expendables 3:  "I Am The Hague!"  I will not bother to complain about the downgrade from R to PG-13.  Frankly, the first two films were only rated R thanks to waffling computer gore, so that type of bitching is moot.  That being said, it's obvious from the third entry that Stallone has no idea what makes the idea of The Expendables worthwhile.  After a nifty little jailbreak for Wesley Snipes, the crew is disbanded and Sly stretches the runtime with Kesley Grammar recruiting a new batch of young things.  I did not pay $15 to stare into the pink lips of Kellan Lutz.  No, I am here to watch Terry Crews chaingun a swath through a faceless sea of henchmen.  I want to see Jason Statham decapitate some chump with an epic round house kick.  I don't care about the polished teeth of youth.  The icons we came to see are barely present.   The Expendables 3 only succeeds when the old bastards get their screentime.  Antonio Banderas is adorable in his babbling enthusiasm for killing.  Mel Gibson is kinda terrifying when gleefully discussing the application of meat suits.  Wesley Snipes is WTF Crazy, and he's great for all five seconds he's given to shine.  I am your audience here Stallone.  I feed off of nostalgia.  Give me something to chew.  But this horse has been bludgeoned to death.  Also, director Patrick Hughes is set to direct The Raid remake???  God No!  Someone stop him!  The last thing we need is a cheap looking knockoff splattered with cartoon bloodspray and CGI tanks.  Laughable.

Mr. Majestyk:  Want a glimpse of real manliness?  Look no further.  Kino Lorber just released a new blu ray of what I consider to be Charles Bronson's finest hour, and it is a gorgeous burst of raw 70s manliness.  Yes, as much as I love the Death Wish films, Mr Majestyk is where it's at.  Screenplay by Elmore Leonard (who later wrote the novelization that can still be purchased at your local bookshop), is a simple watermelon farmer desperate to clear his crop when he runs afoul of Al Lettieri's mob enforcer.  It's one of those films where principle matters over common sense, and thankfully Bronson's Majestyk has the special forces training to back up his righteousness.  Great, simple gun battles punctuated by Bronson's well worn intensity.  This is the ultimate (Mid)Western, the type of film John Cougar Mellencamp dreams he could replicate in song.  Once upon a time, I would watch this flick on loop, and despite having an Elmore Leonard autographed poster in our bedroom, I recently discovered that The Wife has never had the pleasure.  So, it looks like I'll be watching Mr. Majestyk again real soon.

The Congress:  High Concept movies are a bitch to pull off.  Robin Wright plays herself, an aging actor with a sick kid and a limited time left in front of the camera.  After some plot demanded internal struggle, she sells not just her image but her whole being to Danny Huston's Hollywood mogul so that he can use her in whatever cinematic tripe he deems worthy of profit.  It's one of those films that enjoys potshots at our current pop culture landscape while trying to mine deeper concepts like The Human Soul.  I appreciate the attempt, and the first half (where actual actors populate the screen) is certainly engaging.  However, when the real world morphs into Cool World, the scenery gets wackier, the reality less defined, and my interest dims.  Neat to look at, but ultimately an obvious declaration.

Batman - Assault on Arkham:  DC Animation is loosing it, and it's hard not to attribute their artistic slump as a direct result of Bruce Timm's departure.  Justice League War, Superman Unbound, The Flashpoint Paradox, Son of Batman, and Assault on Arkham all seem more interested in acquiring their gritty PG-13 rating and reveling in moronic bloodshed & creepy sexual references then actually telling a good story.  Which is a serious bummer, as DC used to own the animated arena.  Heck, just last year they completed the extraordinary feat of adapting Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns & it was PHENOMENAL!  Assault on Arkham is directed by the same guy (Jay Oliva), but it's only victory is that it crams in as many references to the hit video game as it can while promoting the uber-lame Suicide Squad.  Owning the DC Animated films used to be a requirement, but now it's looking like even renting them is dangerous.  Such a letdown.

The Fade-Out #1:  I'm still processing the conclusion of Ed Brubaker & Sean Phillips' Fatale, and already they've launched into a brand new series.  It appears like they're taking a break from the supernatural to tell a straight up Noir centered in the golden age of Hollywood.  I, of course, am totally A-OK with that.  It's a typical set-up: black-out drunk screenwriter wakes up in a hotel room with a dead starlet sprawled on the carpet.  Who killed the diva?  Plenty of suspects.  It may seem premature to praise The Fade-Out, but given their track record, you would be an absolute fool not to want to jump into this hardboiled pool.  October will see the release of the final Fatale tradepaperback, and as stoked as I am to reread it, I am even more excited that such quality comics are on their way.

Duck Soup:  Half the year is over, and I still have plenty of Cinematic Resolutions to check off the list. For whatever reason, I've never been much of a comedy guy, and I certainly have never been one to consume the supposed comedy classics.  Only recently have I discovered Charlie Chaplin & Harold Lloyd, and I was kinda hoping that The Marx Brothers would fall into that similar realm of "Damn That's Classic For A Reason."  Unfortunately, I can't say that I was won over.  I enjoyed what delightful dicks Groucho & Chico could be, but their jokey joke comedy felt too much like Dad humor for me to fully embrace.  Duck Soup got me some chuckles, but I left the theater appreciating its place in cinema history more than as an actual entertainment.

Sorceress:  Now here is a film of cinematic legend...or at least it should be.  Produced by Roger Corman during that wondrous Conan The Barbarian knock-off phase, and directed by Foxy Brown's Jack Hill (until a post-production dispute kicked him off), Sorceress has pretty much anything a 13 year-old boy or stunted adult could possibly want.  We're talking twin Kung Fu Playmates, a horny Satyr, a fatherly viking, a vengeful ape-man, a marauding zombie horde, and an actual appearance by that winged lion on the box art.  In short, B-Movie gold.  Never before available on DVD, Scorpion Releasing makes a name for itself by finally gifting us this gonzo exploitation onto blu ray.  A MUST OWN.

Sin City - A Dame To Kill For:  Some things are better left unadapted.  Frank Miller's Sin City comics are an ultra-masculinized reworking of Film Noir tropes, a genre that already reveled in hedonism and bravado.  The plots were never stunning, it was all about the ridiculous hardboiled dialogue and Miller's mastery over negative space.  Replicating that onto the big screen, Robert Rodriguez barely manages to capture the bizarre visuals and it's a rare actor who can pull-off the lingo.  Josh Brolin gives the good ol' college try.  Mickey Rourke is practically a Dick Tracy face pre-latex, so his Marv is a top-notch brute.  And there probably has never been an actor more suited to be a Frank Miller puppet than Eva Green.  I admire her game.  But ultimately, the Sin City films leave me cold and unimpressed.  Jessica Alba is wrong, wrong, wrong as stripper Goddess Nancy, and her "original" story of revenge that concludes the film is dull, awkward, and out-of-sync with the timeline.  Joseph Gordon Levitt might have made for a good addition if his story had any weight whatsoever.  So, this might sound crazy given the current climate, but not every comic needs to be a movie.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil:  Saw this on netflix, randomly watched it late one night.  It's a film I saw a lot as a kid, and I don't think you're going to find too many people who agree with me on this one, but it is my favorite Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder pairing.  It's an ultra silly crime caper in which a blind guy & a deaf guy are on the from the law as well as a couple of killers.  Hijinks ensue.  Nothing innovative here, but the film wins me over because of the warmth each actor displays for the other.  They're a couple of losers wallowing in their disability, but through each other they learn to enjoy life once again.  Misanthrope gimmick comedy.  Apparently, I'm a sucker for it.

Beasts of Burden - Animal Rites by Evan Dorkin & Jill Thompson:  Saturday night was our 3rd Meeting of our 3rd Year of Graphic Novel Book Club.  I know I say this every month, but I can't believe it's still going, and I can't believe how much I love it so.  Beasts of Burden marks one of those rare occasions where we all pretty much loved the book (ok, so William was a little lukewarm on it, but I'll take that as a victory).  Imagine the X-Files but cast with Cats & Dogs and you pretty much get the gist.  A series of one-and-done comics that slowly builds to an overarching story involving a malevolent force calling out from the small town sewers.  Creepy, ghoulish, even heartwarming.  The only trouble is that the comics have been going since 2003 and it seems like we've only scratched the surface of this world.  We're greedy, and we want more, more, more from the gang.

--Brad