Dork Hero: Cary Grant

Growing up on classic films, few actors could stand next to Cary Grant when it came to embodying the Golden Age of Hollywood.  Sure, my favorite actor since I was a boy has been Humphrey Bogart, but I think it's because I feel myself reflected in him, I can relate to him.  Cary Grant, I don't relate to, not really.  I look up to, I want to be, but I don't see myself reflected in him.  I see an idealized version of me, maybe.


"Everyone wants to be Cary Grant.  Even I want to be Cary Grant." -Cary Grant

Obviously, the man is among the most handsome men to ever be put on film, but handsome only goes so far.  Grant has a humor and a charm that elevate him to what we think of when we think 'movie star.'  And he's a fascinating guy, an engineered persona that he sort lived until it became real.

And he followed one of the oldest pieces of advice for any showman.  He left us wanting more.  Still a relatively young man, he retired and lived out the rest of his days doing what he pleased, I suppose.  There are photos of him as an older man, going to events, on the street, with his child.  But he never did another movie after Run, Don't Walk.  Part of me laments the lack of great Old Man Grant performances.  But then, in that day, how many great roles would there have been?  No need to dwell on what might have been, because we have what was, and it is a heck of a body of work.

So, go check out some of the great Cary Grant films; North by Northwest, His Girl Friday, Holiday, Only Angels have Wings, Charade, or any number of others.  I'm not gonna say every film he was in was gold, but the lion's share were darned entertaining.  So, celebrate one of the titans of film, one of the greatest movie stars of all time, by just watching his movies.  The man may be dead, but Cary Grant lives on.

=Matt

Dork Hero: Humphrey Bogart

Since I was 10 years old, Humphrey Bogart has been my number one idea of what cool is.  There have been many more men and women over the years who have helped to define cool for me, but the foundation is still Bogie.  Born on Christmas Day, 1899, he is an icon and a true Dork Hero. 

-Matt

Another Two Fistfuls of Favorites! (Matt’s Picks)

    It’s that time of year again.  Brad and I put down in stone (blog) the next ten movies in our lists of all time favorite films.  (See my 1-10 here, and 11-20 here).  The further into the list I get, the more weird I feel about it.  Not bad.  Just weird.  Of course, picking favorite movies is like picking favorite children.  Still, some kids are better than others.  And dang it.  Where’s Citizen Kane?  2001?  Hard Ticket To Hawaii?  I love those movies.  Well, maybe in the next installment.

30.  Cat People:  “Look at that boat…Look at that boat.”  I’m not a kinky guy.  But this movie drips in kink and I love it.  John Heard plays a successful me (you know, if I ran the zoo, and all that), wrapped up with a very special kind of femme fatale.  Nastassja Kinski is that fatale, a sweet natured girl with giant eyes and deep naivete.  They’re a perfect match, except for one thing.  Beautiful, deliberately paced, and with plenty of time spent on character, this weird mystery takes more than one unexpected turn.  Not for the easily upset, it features some rather unusual ideas, none too few of them depicted on screen.

29.  In a Lonely Place:  I’ve been a Bogart fan since I was around 10, when we got a VCR at my house and saw Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, and Key Largo on a VHS my dad had.  Bogie was so cool, so tough, and so beautifully ugly.  Over the next 25 years, I watched those three films many times, and slowly watched others in his filmography.  But it was In a Lonely Place that struck me like a bolt of lightening.  Like when I read Henry Rollins’s poem I Know You, I felt my heart and soul were being ripped out and shown to me in their raw form.  Here was a film where my favorite actor was playing me, or at least the version of me I’m most ashamed of, most scared of.  I think it’s his best performance, and though the ending is a bit sensationalist, the movie feels like a brutally honest piece of self assessment by a writer about being a writer.

28.  Zardoz: "I have seen the future and it does not work."  It doesn’t get a heck of a lot more British-weird than this 70s masterpiece of the bizarre.  Sean Connery plays an ubermensch uplifted from the shattered remnants of humanity who sneaks into a pampered paradise of bored immortals.  Everyone plays it straight, no matter how crazy it gets.  And it gets CRAZY.  Zardoz is not for everyone…Scratch that.  Zardoz is not for most.  But for those lucky few, this movie is like no other and it’s wonderful.

27.  The Creature from the Black Lagoon:  I saw this film at such an early point in my life that I only have the vaguest sense of when it was.  I couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6, and it would likely have been on the Creature Double Feature, seen at a friend’s house (they had cable, and got Channel 56 out of Boston).  I’m sure it wasn’t the first monster movie I saw, but it was the one that stuck with me, that made me a lover of the genre.  And it was my introduction to the Beauty and the Beast plot archetype, which has remained a favorite of mine ever since.

26.  Escape from New York:  Kurt Russell is a one eyed monster getting all up in the Big Apple’s prison hole.  Great cast, great score, lots of awesome action, and Snake Plissken, one of the most ridiculously tough tough guys of cinema.  I don’t think anyone but Russell could have pulled it off.

25.  An American Werewolf in London:  Like John Carpenter’s The Thing, I’d heard a lot of negative stuff about this movie before I rented it, but just minutes in and I loved the Hammer Horror vibe, the humor, and the surprising twists.  I laughed and jumped and marveled at the horror.  The effects are some of the best put to film, the cast is extremely charming, and the story wonderfully tragic.

24.  The Iron Giant:  The design and animation are excellent, but the story is the thing.  A lonely boy living in Cold War era Maine finds and befriends a giant robot from outer space.  It’s a good movie all around, but the ending.  Man, it gets me.  Superman indeed.  Niagara Falls.

23.  The Virgin Spring:  A beautifully filmed medieval story that straddles Ingmar Bergman’s symbolic and visceral sides comfortably.  It’s gut-punch brutal and lyrically mystical in turns.  A family’s love, the destruction of innocence, and the calculated vengeance of a grieving man.  This was the movie that made me a Bergman fan, and it’s a darned fine film.  Human ugliness displayed in a beautiful package.

22.  Coffy:  The rough, tough, and sexy Pam Grier shotguns her way through the criminal underworld as a one-woman war on corruption.  Reveling in the weird fashion and décor of the 70s, while slinging slang and splashing house-paint blood, it may not be the best Blaxploitation (Trouble Man, maybe?) or the best Pam Grier film (Jackie Brown), but it’s my favorite, and my go-to.  It’s the film that brought me to the genre, and the one I find myself popping in the DVD player most often.

21.  Alien:  A fantastic cast of characters, stunning production design, wonderfully slow then nightmarishly fast pacing, and one of the most beautiful creatures ever designed.  It’s a haunted house on a space ship.  It’s a creature feature.  It’s a pretty darned good slice-of-life science fiction film.  Everything about this film is top notch.  But I think it really comes down to the script and performances.  (See my detailed review here).

-Matthew J. Constantine

Another Two Fistfuls of Favorites! (Brad's Picks)

For the last two years, Matt & I have been constructing a list of our Favorite Films.  My personal Top Ten came to me quick & easy; those films have ranked as my all time favorites for several years.  My Top Twenty was a little tougher to crack, but I got their after minimal struggle.  However, formulating my Top Thirty Favorite Films was downright brutal.  A couple of them sprung to mind (#s 21 & 30 were obvious), but I spent several hours over the course of this week pursuing my DVD shelves, selecting & rejecting various movies for whatever reason.  I Love All Of These Films...and so much more.  I cannot guarantee you in a week, let alone a year, that this list will remain - How can The Monster Squad not be in my Top 30 Favorite Films!?!?!  That seems ridiculous to me, but a fact nonetheless.  So take the ranking below with a grain of salt.  I love 'em, but my confidence is not as strong as it was for Movies 1-20.

30.  King Kong (Merian C Cooper & Ernest B Shoedsack, 1933):  Monster movies, this is where it all began.  Frankly, I love all three versions of this movie, as well as the crappy sequels & the Hong Kong knockoffs.  King Kong is one of those rare movies (maybe the only movie) that I'd like to see remade every decade or so, and I find myself positively giddy over the upcoming Skull Island.  It's delightfully simplistic, and eternally relevant.  "It was beauty that killed the beast." This is the ultimate Man Fucks Over Nature story.  We see something beautiful, dangerous, AWEsome and we've gotta have it - even if that means destroying it in the process.  A terribly sad movie, but also one filled with wonder and exceptional cinematic craft.  No King Kong means no Ray Harryhausen, which means no Steven Speilberg, George Lucas, Joe Dante, etc - which means one crappy childhood for this guy.

29.  In The Mouth of Madness (John Carpenter, 1995):  This was the first Horror movie I ever saw in the theater.  Hellraiser was the film that sparked an interest in the genre, and that film led me to the works of Clive Barker & Stephen King.  I remember vividly when I caught the trailer for In The Mouth of Madness on TV, and the Stephen King namecheck immediately peaked an interest.  Who is Sutter Kane?  The concept of a world driven mad by Fiction, was both terrifying & infuriating.  It's a plot spit forth from the mouths of your parents, your teachers, your politicians.  Horror will rot your brain, kids.  Sam Neil has never been better, and his journey from dismissive suit to screaming believer is utterly unsettling.  He steps into frame thinking he's Fred MacMurray in Double Indemnity, a cocky insurance investigator bored of the game, but a "chance" encounter with an axe-wielding madman sends him scurrying down dark alleys populated by unnamable horrors.  If you're reading this blog post than you already know how this film had an impact on both Matt & myself.  It introduced me to John Carpenter & HP Lovecraft - after such an encounter how can one not become a full fledged horror fiend?

28.  Die Hard (John McTiernan, 1988):  There is simply no better action film.  A good, but flawed man fights his way through a slew of bad men in an effort to reunite with true love.  And all set to the backdrop of the Ho-Ho-Holidays.  The 1980s were bogged down with countless bloody shoot 'em ups, but few had as much charming character as Die Hard.  Bruce Willis is exceptional as the everyman.  He's fun, witty, goofy, and absolutely badass when he's got a gun in his hand.  Yipee Ki Yay for the Energizer Bunny, the man takes a beating and keeps on ticking.  After a half dozen sequels, it's hard to find excitement for the "regular Joe," but you can't hate on the studio for trying to recapture the magic of the original.

27.  The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (Wes Anderson, 2004):  As much as I enjoyed Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums, it was not until The Life Aquatic that Wes Anderson's mastery over his dollhouse filmmaking hit perfection.  Words like "quirky" and "whimsical" get tossed around a lot when discussing his films, and I find them to be frustratingly reductive.  Anderson does not wish to recreate reality.  He's not interested in Oscar Bait.  He strives for the artificial, for style, for the storybook.  But to say there's no truth in the artificial is absurd.  The Life Aquatic is layered in familial heartbreak.  Bill Murray is an artist soaked in despair, a man desperate to believe in fatherhood when the chance presents itself, but also incapable of expressing love.  Owen Wilson is equally adrift as the son in question, but manages to force himself into this gruesome adventure of oceanic revenge while deflecting the jealously of Zissou's crew.  Ultimately, The Life Aquatic is about getting beyond your emotional baggage, and accepting the imperfect people around you.

26.  The Professionals (Richard Brooks, 1966):  Last year, in the wake of The Lone Ranger, I put together a list of my Top 5 Favorite Westerns, and The Professionals ranked at number 4.  Well, as I warned above, I've changed my mind.  It now sits as my third favorite western & my 26th favorite movie.  Lists are stupid.  But I love them.  Ralph Bellamy's Texas tycoon hires Lee Marvin, Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan, & Woody Strode to charge down into Mexico to rescue his wife from Jack Palance's crazed revolutionary.  But as plot demands, things are not as simple as they seem.  I've spoken about it before, but perhaps the most stunning feat about The Professionals is Lancaster's ability to steal the show from Marvin.  His rapscallion is not so much an outlaw as he is a man who let his disgust for humanity crush his own morality, and the result is a gleaming devil worth rooting for.  Lee Marvin is simply a badass...he's great at being a badass, but it's also kinda expected.  The Professionals is certainly Lancaster's show, but there are few films with as strong a cast - each man (and one lady) gets their moment.  Imagine The Wild Bunch minus the grotesque i.e. violence as Adventure!

25.  Batman Begins (Christopher Nolan, 2005):  One of my many reoccurring rants around here is my stance against Superhero Origin movies - they're boring!  Been there, done that.  'nuff said.  So, why in the world is my all time favorite Comic Book movie an origin story???  Well, because in the 75 years of Batman's time on Earth, we've never been given the full story on Bruce Wayne.  Yep, before Batman Begins even the comic books only told a partial story.  Not to mention the fact that because we've had so many incarnations of Batman over the years, an origin story was actually a fresh approach to the character.  I love The Dark Knight, I dig Rises, and I even appreciate the Clooney travesty.  The Brave & The Bold and "Holy Adam West, Batman!"  But this is Bruce Wayne's story.  No other film comes close to that kind of human focus.  Plus, the way Nolan & Goyer snake the theme of fear through the story is outstanding.  A child's fear leads to his parents' murder, that fear becomes the child's armor, and that armor becomes Gotham's Knight, it's savior from the forces of darkness.  The first time I saw Batman Begins will go down as my All Time Favorite theatrical experience.  While attending the Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con, I was one of a lucky few who won tickets to see an advanced IMAX screening of Batman Begins.  I've never been more thrilled to be part of a crowd; several hundred nerds cheering, rooting, and screaming as the caped crusader finally got his story told proper.

24.  First Blood (Ted Kotchef, 1982):  The story of two generations of soldiers, the good war vs the bad war.  I know it's hard to imagine in this Expendables era, but once upon a time Sylvester Stallone was considered a Renaissance Man.  Before he got 'roided & sequeled out, Stallone made a career out of emotionally gripping character pieces.  First Blood was the last one...or at least, the last successful one.  A Vietnam vet wanders through town after discovering his last war buddy has died a lonely cancerous death.  A Korean War vet turned constable scoops him up, and attempts to shuffle him down the line so he may not soil the town scenery with his long dirty hair.  An act of disrespect that leads to rage-fueled domestic warfare that's as sad as it is understandable.  John Rambo began his career in cinema as a symbol for the lost, the disaffected, and the traumatized.  This is not the badass action film the sequels would eventually attempt.  First Blood is the story of hurt, and a damn fine one.

23.  Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1943):  I only saw this film for the first time six years ago.  "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine."  I'd seen all the clip shows, read all the critic's lists, and I thought I knew what Casablanca was.  Nope.  More often than not, classics are classics for a reason.  Humphrey Bogart is a lost American hiding from himself as much as the war when an old flame walks into his club, and causes all sorts of Nazi trouble.  Bogart is cold & cool in The Maltese Falcon, a cocky braggart in The Big Sleep, and the shlubbiest sadsack loser in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.  Rick, though, is Bogart's great performance.  He's a selfish jerk, a master of slick wit, a (self)forgotten patriot, and a doomed romantic.  If all you know is the soundbites, do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to one of The Great Movies.

22.  Robocop (Paul Verhoeven, 1987):  An action film, a gorehound's delight, a Frankenstein parable, and a painfully funny satire of 1980s consumerism.  Robocop is one of the strangest bits of outsider art to sneak into mainstream cinemas.  Peter Weller does Karloff proud as a man slaughtered by criminals, and butchered further by corporate scientists.  He's given very little to emote with (a facial slit & Mr Roboto body language), but the film succeeds thanks to Weller's ability to pull the humanity from the cyborg. Then you have Kurtwood Smith & his gang of goons.  Never has there been a better collection of psychopathic villainy.  Verhoeven revels in the monstrosity of man, he takes glee in showcasing the vile & despicable, and then he projects triumph through violence.  Politically correct?  Hell no!  It's cool though.

21.  2001 - A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968):  My experience with this movie is probably like a lot of folks my age.  At 15, I didn't "get it."  At 20, I thought I liked it until it went Beyond The Infinite.  At 25, seeing it for the first time on the Uptown's Big Screen, I was in awe of the cinematography and the pulsating soundtrack.  At 35, I worship it's attempts at understanding the question of man via science fiction & metaphor.  I don't claim to understand the Star Child any better than I did at 20, but maybe in another decade or so I will.  I certainly look forward to rewatch after rewatch.  2001 is a rare event, a film that evolves as you do.  You gotta cherish that.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (2/16/14-2/22/14)

Slow week.  No real reason.  Just taking it easy.  Gotta recharge my batteries every now and again.  The Academy Awards are right around the corner - I've seen more nominations this year than any other, but there are still a few crucial films I need to hit up before March 2nd (I'm looking at you Frozen).  So far I've avoided the documentary shorts & a couple of foreign films.  Gotta correct that...next week.  Honestly though, the stuff I'm most excited about these days are comic books.  Not satisfied with the completion of Grant Morrison's Supergods (look, it's beautiful madness, but I want more history less peyote), I blitzed through the audiobook of Sean Howe's Marvel Comics The Untold Story.

Just days before I turned the last page, Marvel unleashed the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer...90% of which we saw at last year's Comic Con, but it was still enough to get be jazzed about all things Cosmic and Raccoon.  I ran to my local comic shop, but they were already sold out of the source material.  All my coworkers are gaga for Groot, and I'm starting to hope that the world is ready for the murderous furball.  Doctor Strange is right around the corner, then...Black Panther?  And yet DC is still floundering with their properties.  Marvel is spanking Warner Brothers.  I love it.

The Darjeeling Limited:  A month out from Wes Anderson's new film, The Wife & I are still chugging along his filmography.  When originally released, The Darjeeling Limited was met with lackluster enthusiasm from fans and a tepid critical reception.  Looking back at my own Top Ten Lists of the last several years, I was pleased to see that Darjeeling ranked as my favorite film of 2007.  My opinion has not changed.  As an only child myself, I've always been fascinated with sibling relationships, and even if I don't quite understand the battle for paternal love, I am charmed by how this brotherly war passive aggressively erupts in every one of their actions.  Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzman may not at all resemble each other physically, but they expertly inhabit one another's mannerisms.  It really is a thrilling performance trilogy, and as they reach their destination and lives are lost and narrative gaps are filled, I find myself emotionally strained in a way that no other Anderson film has managed.  Is it my favorite Wes Anderson?  No.  I gotta go Life Aquatic, Tenenbaums, or Fox, but Darjeeling is close behind.

Marked Woman:  Bette Davis is a carefree mobster's moll who catches the attention of Humphrey Bogart's District Attorney after her sister is stolen of the streets.  Despite the formation of the Hays Code in 1930, an uncredited Michael Curtiz (Casablanca!!!) still manages to deliver plenty of scandalous behavior from this sordid ripped-from-the-headlines tale.  These goons are some real beasts, and Bette Davis takes a helluva scary beating behind closed doors.  Bogart is a bit dry, but that's okay because this is Davis's show and she rocks the woman wronged role.  Maybe not as iconic as some similar films of this era, Marked Woman is a hidden Hollywood gem.

Saga of the Swamp Thing Volume 2 by Alan Moore:  After months and months of pestering, I finally caved to Matt's demands and dove into this classic series.  The first trade took some time getting off it's feet, but by the end I was hooked to the plight of The Green.  In volume 2, Swamp Thing continues to explore what it means to be a Plant with delusions of Manhood, and Moore takes his saga deeper down the rabbit hole of comic book legacy.  My favorite moment from this entry, is when the original Len Wein & Bernie Wrightson stories are used as a gateway into a biblical origin of the House of Mystery.  As Mystery & Secrets collide, I was hooting & hollering to myself.  This is weird, wild stuff.  Is this genius?  Nope.  At least not yet.  But I'm starting to get that tingle that I am certainly reading something special - the hype is earned. The goal is to crank out a volume a week.  Alan Moore is too dang dense to blitz through.  Besides, I want to savor this gothic dread.

Game of Thrones - Season 3:  I am not the world's biggest Game of Thrones fan.  I've never read the books, and I'm not planning to either.  However, every time one of these DVD sets comes out, I stop whatever I'm doing and concentrate on nothing else until the discs have been devoured.  It's TV crack.  Smoke it up!  I don't love every bitty plot point.  I am not too keen on the Jon Snow story - in fact, I find his whiney fumblings around the lust of a wildling to be utterly annoying.  The Mother of Dragons is spending too much damn time wandering the desert.  It's time to get into the action lady!  But then you have the sad, honorable, and patriarchally tortured Tyrion Lannister.   The hell that is Kings Landing owns this show.  If you have a good bone in your body, George RR Martin will crush you.  The good die young here folks, and only villains reap reward.  Last year, all I heard was "Red Wedding, Red Wedding, Red Wedding" from every coworker, friend, and Entertainment Weekly spoiler headline.  So I thought I knew what I was getting into with the third season climax.  But damn...I was not at all prepared for the depths of viciousness Martin had in store.  The Red Wedding might be one of the single most wonderfully hateful acts of fiction I've ever experienced.  Just wow.  Who to root for?  Hard to answer that question in this blood soaked world.

Marvel Comics - The Untold Story by Sean Howe:  "The heroic journeys are forever denied an end."  In this golden age of comic book to silver screen adaptation everyone seems to love the Cameomeister Stan Lee.  Sean Howe's tell-all style approach to the rise, fall, & rise again of Marvel Comics certainly sets its sights on Smiling Stan.  Yep, it's disheartening to read interviews & radio excerpts in which Lee dismisses the medium of comics as a lesser art form to novels and movies.  The book paints a picture of a man who settled into comics because that's what would have him.  Is Stan Lee the godfather of spandex?  Or is he simply the benefactor of opportune nepotism, sneaking his way into cousin Martin Goodman's magazine distributor?  The debate surrounding creator rights is nothing new, and I only have so much sympathy when we're talking royalties in Work-For-Hire art.  You signed a contract, Marvel owns your ass.  But lets give credit where credit is due.  And it is genuinely upsetting to discover that Stan Lee sued Marvel for 10 million dollars after decades of dismissing similar claims from Jack Kirby & Steve Ditko.  This is nothing new for comicbook fanboys; the bitter contempt from his co-creator contemporaries tarnished Stan Lee's shine long ago.  The man is his greatest creation.  Sean Howe spends plenty of time (maybe too much) taking the icon down a peg or two.  My favorite bits are the ones exploring the financial reasoning behind some of our favorite Event Storylines, and the cashgrab desperation driving Marvel to LA LA Land.  A not so inevitable success when you look at blockbuster flops like Howard the Duck or limp direct-to-video releases like Dolph Lundgren's Punisher.  Marvel once touted itself as the four-color Disney, and it's a trip to see Walt's Kingdom gobble them up, but how long will the mass audience be appeased by Robert Downey Jr's Avengers?  Bubbles always burst.  At the very least, Marvel Comics The Untold Story, got me aching for both my own back issues and those not acquired yet.  I seriously need Steve Gerber's rage fueled Destroyer Duck - so much deliciously not-so-hidden Marvel Hate!

Avengers - Earth's Mightiest Heroes Season 1:  The first season takes its time assembling Earth's Mightiest Heroes, using 11 half hour episodes to fully form the roster.  Once gathered, this Saturday Morning Cartoon goes completely bonkers for comic book continuity, borrowing everything from Brian Michael Bendis' New Avengers run to classic arcs like The Kang Dynasty.  The Avengers battle Hydra, Ultron, Enchantress, Klaw, and The Purple Man....yes, THE PURPLE MAN!!  Nerd nirvana here.  Sure, some of the voice cast is cloying with Tony Stark in particular grating the nerves with his Robert Downey Jr impersonation, but the show hits more than it misses.  And with a second season promising even longer story arcs in the form of the Skrulls Secret Invasion and Galactus, Devour of Worlds - I am hooked.  No more picking away at this series, all must be consumed.

The Price of Gold:  I don't care much about the Olympics these days.  I haven't watched a single one in well over a decade.  But in 1994 our family household was overwhelmed with the competition...I'm guessing every family home was that way back then.  Thanks to the bizarre figure skating rivalry story between poor white trash Tonya Harding and ice princess Nancy Kerrigan...and a kneecap hit that spun the media into True Crime bliss.  Part of ESPN's 30 for 30, The Price of Gold attempts to dissect the fervor around the events, but never quite elevates itself beyond a talking heads documentary.  It's certainly interesting to hear what Tonya has to say, and I appreciate Nancy Kerrigan's refusal to participate, but The Price of Gold is little more than a "Remember When."  A footnote for those families that fell victim to the circus, but I don't think a modern audience would find this hour plus doc terribly satisfying.  If anything, this just reaffirms my belief in the utter failure of contemporary TMZ journalism.  Anchorman 2 got it right.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (9/1/13-9/7/13)

After a rather abysmal Summer I found myself aching for Great Cinema.  I'm sick of disappointment.  How to cure these Blockbuster blues?  Well, after the last Barnes & Noble sale, I found myself with a massive pile of Criterions stacked next to my television set.  What better way to enter the Oscar Bait season than with a month long Criterion-A-Thon.  Yes, I'm one of those hipster assholes that drinks the Kool-Aid that is The Criterion Collection.  I'm not going to say that every one of their releases is a classic, but I've never encountered a film from them that I didn't find redeeming in some fashion.  You'll notice a theme of Anger running through most of the films listed below.  Does that reflect on the builders of the Collection or my own current mood?  Serious Cinema tackling the big issues.  That being said, this week is mostly filled with genre content, and that is certainly a reflection on my own tastes.  Next week I'll have to branch out with some foreign film, but for now I was just giddy to jump from Seconds to Lord of the Flies to Robocop to Black Narcissus.

The week concluded with the Baltimore Comic Con.  Maybe not as popular on the Internet as say San Diego or New York, but Baltimore is the real deal for fans of comic books.  At the very least it's an assault on my wallet.  Of course, despite the con, I actually didn't get any reading done this week.  Gotta work on that.  I've certainly have a lot of options right now, and SPX is just right around the corner.  No trips to the theater, and I only watched one film not a member of the Criterion family; Matt finally planted me down for The African Queen.  But I gotta say, this was one of the most pleasurable Weeks in Dorks that I've had in months.  Watched a lot of my favorite films, discovered some new ones, and had a blast spending money on the four colors.  I think I made a good call with this particularly broad movie marathon.

Seconds (Criterion Spine # 667):  "I thought you had a better chance."  Like the best Twilight Zone or Star Trek episode, John Frankenheimer's Seconds is an angry, trippy exploration of morality safely filtered through the science-fiction genre.  After receiving a mysterious phone call from a friend thought once dead, bored old husband John Randolph travels to the city's meatpacking district where he encounters an organization promising an escape from his failed existence and a chance at a new life.  One teeth cracking surgery later, and John Randolph is now Rock Hudson.  He has a new passion for painting, a beautiful woman randomly discovered on the beach, and a cadre of friends willing to STOMP THOSE GRAPES!  But how long can this new life hold his interest?  Can this new man just accept his past failings?  Of course, Frankenheimer directed The Manchurian Candidate, so there are no happy endings.  Hudson certainly delivers his finest performance, and Murray Hamilton is extraordinaire in his one scene, but the real stars of this flick are Lewis John Carlino's screenplay and James Wong Howe's cinematography.  It's a biting brutal story shot & cut in the fever of a nightmare.  An absolute highlight of the Criterion Collection, and certainly this year's strongest blu ray release.

Homicide (Criterion Spine # 486):  Not to be confused with the equally excellent Baltimore based crime show, David Mamet's Homicide is a mystery when unravelled that cares less about the answer and more about the horror exposed along the way.  Joe Mantegna is a rage-fueled detective pulled off a flashy cop killer hunt to investigate the murder of a Jewish shopkeeper.  What begins as a distraction from glory slowly grinds into an obsession of newly found faith.  A lot of typical dark territory is explored in Homicide, and it's all layered in that too-smart Mamet dialog, but the racial anger stirred by the events is infectious.  This film will leave you mad.  Mad at people.  Mad at the system.  Mad at yourself.  So basically, it's everything you expect and want from Mamet's rabble rouser.

Lord of the Flies (Criterion Spine # 43):  "After all we're not savages, we're English!  And the English are best at everything!"  Everyone knows the story.  A group of prep school kids shipwrecked on an island.  Fending for themselves against the elements, and an unseen monster, the boys quickly form a society of rules and regulations....superstition and greed brings it all crashing down.  Too often regulated as High School Summer reading, William Golding's novel is a violent declaration against hypocrisy, and Peter Brooks' film manages to perfectly capture the author's contempt.  But where other adaptations have failed in kiddie performances, Brooks' films succeeds solely because he gathered an exceptional cast of children.  There is no difficulty in supplanting your emotions into James Aubrey's Ralph; the young actor balances youth and wisdom perfectly, and you never cringe at the "acting" on display.  And then there's Tom Chapin's Jack.  What a monster.  So easy to hate.  He never went on to do anything else, but he takes on your disgust as easily as Aubrey takes your heart.  Kids as strong as these are certainly a real rarity in movieland.

Eating Raoul (Criterion Spine # 625):  "He was a man.  Now he's just a bag of garbage."  Another graduate of the Roger Corman school of filmmaking, Paul Bartel leaves behind the exploitation brilliance of Death Race 2000 for this equally broad & whacky ribbing of American consumerism.  Bartel and Mary Warnov are a financially strapped married couple who resort to killing swingers as a means of funding their country restaurant.  This demented endeavor finds real success after partnering with Robert Beltran's cat burglar, but can their marriage survive someone so handsome?  The answer may surprise you.  Bartel's comedy is certainly not for everyone, and I found his special brand of odd more successful in Death Race, but Eating Raoul certainly nibbles a funny bone or two.

The Last Temptation of Christ (Criterion Spine # 70):  "Fear.  Look inside me and that's all you'll find."  Martin Scorsese has made a career of exploring man's relationship with the divine, but never has he been more blunt with this struggle than here.  The Last Temptation of Christ portrays Jesus as both man and god, as such he is victim to both doubt and desire while fulfilling his role as messiah.  This is not the masterpiece the director or his followers might have wanted, but it is a fascinating insight into the creator's religious struggle.  The film certainly suffers from budgetary constraints, and Scorsese's bullpen of performers don't quite jive with the average vision of these characters.....however, there is something incredibly refreshing about Harvey Keitel as Judas or Harry Dean Stanton as Paul.  Scorsese is reaching for the humanity in these characters, to shake the dust off, and treat them as real-deal human beings.  As such, I think he succeeds.  The Holy aspects of the film work less for me, the miracles come fast and loose and feel like the highlight reel from a Super Hero film - capes & spandex stuff.  The final temptation on the cross certainly stirs the pot, but only the most stringent of terrified censors will take umbrage with this postulation.  And Jesus's confrontation with Paul over his manipulation of the crucifixion is probably the most brilliant sequence of the whole movie, and absolutely makes Scorsese's cinematic quest.

Monty Python's Life of Brian (Criterion Spine # 61):  "If we didn't have crucifixion, this country would be in a right bloody mess!"  While Scorsese attempts to deconstruct belief, the mad buggers that assemble Monty Python sharpen their swords for war.  Brian Cohen is born on the same night and just a few doors down from Jesus Christ, which confuses The Three Wise Men and sets the idealistic young Brian down an absurd parallel path.  Religion is such an easy target for Python, and no other comedy troupe can match smart & silly with as fierce precision as these nutjobs.  I dare you not to laugh within the first five seconds of the movie, and once you start you will not stop.  After all, what good have the Romans ever done for us?!?!

The African Queen:  Another Cinematic Resolution has been met.  Why did it take me 34 years to see this John Huston classic?  I love Bogie.  He's the king of cool.  The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, The Big Sleep.  The man can't be shut down.  Katherine Hepburn...never been a fan...never tried to be.  What little snippets I had previously seen of this movie highlight Bogart's five o'clock shadow, and Hepburn's virginal old maid.  Just never screamed "WATCH ME!"  And, yeah, it's a weird one.  Bogart is utterly gross and pathetic in this film.  Never seen anything quite like it from the actor.  Sure, he's done pathetic (gin diving in Casablanca & gold scumming in The Treasure of Sierra Madre), but his stomach growling steamboat captain is just an absolute mess of a human being.  And Katherine Hepburn is simply angry and shrill.  I found it hard to wrap my brain around this Beast & Beast romance, but in war torn Africa all they have is each other...and mosquitos.  I only wish the film followed the inevitability of their romance instead of ditching doom for Hollywood happy.

Robocop (Criterion Spine # 23):  "Excuse me, I have to go.  Somewhere there is a crime happening."  In a lot of ways, I think of Paul Verhoeven's Robocop as the ultimate geek film.  You've got the endless outbursts of squibby violence to appeal to the savage teenager inside us all, and then you have the blunt force trauma of the consumer satire to appease our wannabe intellectual side.  This is the Wall Street for the genre crowd, but Verhoeven has no use for Oliver Stone's subtlety -- HA!  And has there ever been a gang of villains as despicable or as terrifying as Kurtwood Smith's posse of cop killers?  The murder of Alex Murphy immediately establishes these villains as demons of capitalism, joyously toying with the hot shot cop before delivering the coup de gras.  It's gut wrenching; so much so that you'll cheer when Robocop rediscovers his humanity by delivering some arterial revenge.

Black Narcissus (Criterion Spine # 93):  "We're all human, aren't we?"  A group of nuns are charged with the establishment of a convent in the himalayas, but their contract with god is challenged when they find themselves seduced by their surroundings.  Attempting to forget the failed romance of her youth, Deborah Kerr's Sister Superior finds her heart reawakened by David Farrar's brusk British official, but the man's good looks also draw the attention of Flora Robson's twisted Sister Ruth.  Directed by the dynamic duo of Michael Powell & Emric Pressburger, Black Narcissus is a sensual British melodrama that practically descends into the realm of horror when the bent eventually snap.  And as strong as the performances are, Jack Cardiff's transformative cinematography deserves equal billing; who wants On Location filming when British backlots can look this damn good?  Of all the films I watched this week, Black Narcissus takes top prize.

The Game (Criterion Spine # 627):  Not my favorite David Fincher film (that's Zodiac).  Not my least favorite either (that's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo).  But what earns The Game entry into The Criterion Collection?  Popular filmmaker + attainable rights = Criterion.  Simple as that.  Still, I have to admit that I was a bit perplexed when I first got the news.  There is a lot to like about this film.  Michael Douglas is an assholey mess of a human being, and the wringer that Consumer Recreation Services puts him through is thoroughly entertaining even if the payoff is not exactly what this genre fanboy desired.  I have just never bought into that anticlimax.  And starting this week with Seconds really established The Game as a pretender to the paranoia throne.

The Baltimore Comic Con 2013:  As much as I drone on & on about the real Comic Con (San Diego), there is nothing that can top the comic book goodness of Baltimore.  You want movies and celebrities than grab your ticket for the west coast.  You want to score an obscene amount of funny books?  Baltimore is the place to be.  Sure, you've got your comic book creators (snagged an autograph from Joe Hill), but the main attraction are the half-off trades.  This year I came away with a complete run of Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol, the latest Animal Man, Scott Snyder's Gates of Gotham, and Alan Moore's Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow.  Plus a few toys (Magnum PI Hot Wheels, a Frank Frazetta beer stein).  Baltimore can fill up with panels and autograph sessions, but I pretty much treated this year as a bazaar.  And with Matt working the Warrior27 table with Dan & Chris, and The Wife busy with her day job, I was free to spend the hours roaming the dealers room with my buddy Robert.  Spending far too much money.

Baltimore, like every convention nowadays, is also a great excuse for Halloween Part II.  Cosplay.  When I was younger, I never quite understood the appeal of dress-up, but the more conventions I attend and the crazier a display of costume I witness, I swell with fanboy pride at the passion on parade.  Twenty years ago, Comic Conventions were a collection of 30 year old white guys and the occasional wandering child.  Now we have boys & girls of every race SHAZAMing it up as Iron Man, Deadpool, Poison Ivy, Captain Marvel, Jack of Hearts, and...holy cow - Hulkbuster Iron Man.  I got a taste for the giddiness of cosplay when The Wife & I participated in the Alamo Drafthouse Shaun-Off a few weeks back, and it was fairly thrilling.  Can I see myself one day dawning a cape and browsing the convention floor as Darkhawk?  Maybe.  But don't hold your breath, I'm shy.

The Most Dangerous Game (Criterion Spine # 46):  This film is most famous for being a coproduction with the 8th Wonder of the World, King Kong.  The same jungle sets used for Skull Island can also be seen as the hunting ground for the diabolical Count Zaroff.  The film also stars Fay Wray & Robert Armstrong, but the hero of the piece is an incredibly young Joel McCrea zigzagging the island in an effort to turn the tables on the big game madman.  The Most Dangerous Game might not be as famous as its primate brother, but I would argue that it's nearly as thrilling.  At just over an hour in running time, the film races to its finish and has no time for narrative fat.  It's all action.  Character moments last no longer than a wink & a smile.  Oh McCrea, you dog.

--Brad