Matt’s Week in Dork! (8/31/14-9/6/14)

    I feel like I didn’t get a lot done this week, but I also know I was out and about, and very busy for most of it.  My downtime on Sunday and Wednesday night was just so unproductive…Anyway.

    Seeing two classics on the big screen this week did remind me of a few things.  Movies are simply better on the big screen.  Not only the size of the screen and (hopefully) the immersive sound.  But also the group viewing experience.  You can feel the crowd, sense their reactions.  At Singin’ in the Rain, you could feel the joy, hear the feet tapping with the music, and catch the giggles at various jokes.  At Jaws, you could feel the tension, hear the intakes of breath, and yeah, I heard that little kid nearby announce that she’d spotted the shark.  And having seen both films on the small screen, in the privacy and comfort of my own home, I can say that seeing it in a theater with a bunch of people was better.  Yes, you run the chance of having a bad experience.  Yes, I had that awful child with the jittery legs and the constant sniffing (seriously, two hours of sniff…sniff….sniff…sniff) when I went to see King Kong.  But those are relatively rare.  If you’re just watching movies at home, you’re missing out on the wonderful and strange experience of group viewing.  And living here, in the greater Washington D.C. area, I’m so lucky.  We have theaters all around, and many of them run various older films for special showings.  The Alamo, The AFI Silver, The Angelica, even the Rave at Fairfax Corner all do special showings of classics, 80s nostalgia, and more.  However, I’ve been very frustrated to see how little reaction local film buffs have to this.  I talk to movie fans all the time, and they always have excuses as to why they don’t go out and support this awesome activity.  The excuse usually comes down to ‘it’s too expensive’ or ‘I’m too lazy to be bothered.’  Now, the price, I get.  It’s not cheap to go to the movies.  I’d argue that most people I talk to would go spend that money on something equally frivolous (or more) like drinking at a bar or over-paying for sushi.  But whatever.  The laziness thing actually pisses me off.  ‘It’s too far to drive?’  We live in an area where there are almost as many movie theaters as Starbucks.  The Alamo recently tried to do a Spaghetti Western series, but each showing had less and less people, until they just canceled it.  That pretty much says to me that my hoped for Martial Arts film series won’t happen.  When we go to the AFI to watch some amazing screenings of movies like Sweet Smell of Success or Razorback, the place is mostly empty.  A beautiful, huge, comfortable theater with good popcorn and clean bathrooms, and nobody goes!?  I know not everyone is into movies like I am, or like Brad is.  But we have some amazing opportunities to see great films in the way they were intended (on the big screen, with crowds of other people), and on the whole, we’re squandering it.  We’re voting with our dollars to be stuck in our homes, being schlubs, not socializing or supporting interesting things.  It makes me sad.

    On Sunday, I did manage to finish up reading the newest Philip Reeve (with Sarah McIntyre) book, Oliver and the Seawigs.  It’s a cute, if slight kids book.  Probably best for kids graduating from stuff like the Magic Tree House or Boxcar Children to slightly more advanced books like Geronimo Stilton.  The illustrations are copious and enjoyable.  Reeve always weaves a good yarn, but I can’t help but want something a bit more meaty from him.  His last book, Goblins, was also a lot of fun in that Lloyd Alexander sort of way.  But I’m hoping for something a bit more Mortal Engines.  I just don’t know if he’s all that interested in writing the bigger, more epic, big-idea science fiction.  But I can hope.  He remains one of only two writers (Christa Faust being the other) I’ll buy anything written by, sight unseen.

 Masters of Sex: Season 1:  A good companion show to Mad Men, Masters of Sex actually gets some things right more often.  Like Masters’s family life is actually interesting, and his wife feels like a human character.  The show is cute, awkward, touching, sad, and occasionally uplifting and wonderfully pro-science.  I tip my hat to everyone involved.  The cast is excellent, with not only a good core group, but lots of very good supporting character performances.  There's a lot of good TV being made these days if you take the time to seek it out.  This is on that list, for sure.

Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhass:  Visually rich, this historic drama about a man pushed too far by injustice never quite becomes the movie you keep wanting it to become.  Throughout, it sets the stage for some grim, revenge fueled violence, but time and again fails to deliver.  Medieval Death Wish turns into Medieval Sleep Wish.

Singin’ in the Rain:  Seeing the film for my second time, and my first on the big screen, I feel comfortable calling this one of the best movie musicals of all time, and a wonderful movie all around.  And, like The Artist, which covers the same general subject, this is a movie for lovers of movies.  The silent era fades and the passing fad of sound takes over.  The musical numbers are great, but the story itself is also engaging.

Jaws:  My first viewing of Jaws on the big screen, and I’ve never enjoyed it more.  Jaws is a weird one for me.  On the one hand, I know it’s an excellent movie.  And while I’m watching it, I love it.  But when I’m not watching it, I’m not thinking about it.  It holds little sway over me.  Yet, while I was watching it, I loved it more than ever before.  The camaraderie that develops is beautifully played, with Robert Shaw as the salty old seaman, Richard Dreyfuss as the rich nerd who turns out to be as tough as the old man, and Roy Scheider as the cowardly cop, trying to overcome crushing fear.  An awesome movie all around, and a good reminder of what can be done with practical effects, and how they would not translate to CGI.  Look at this movie, and then imagine what it would look like if made on a substantial budget today.  It wouldn’t look so good, I can tell you that.

Magic in the Moonlight:  I don’t like Woody Allen movies since way back.  And I generally try to avoid them (especially if he appears in ‘em).  But I also find Colin Firth to be infinitely charming, and I do like old timey Europe.  Set in the Jazz age, the movie is about a stage magician/fraud debunker who finds himself believing in the possibilities of the supernatural when he meets a profoundly gifted young spiritualist.  There’s a lot of cute and some funny.  I found the presentation of Firth’s skeptic a bit annoying, as it felt like the condescending way they tend to be portrayed in many mainstream movies and more expectedly in Christian themed film.  Yet that portrayal belied the message of the film.  Which was lacking in what the kids call subtlety.  My other complaint is that it felt too long.  The last 30 or so minutes could probably have been trimmed to 10 minutes and been much, much better.

    On Saturday, Lisa, Brad and I headed up to Baltimore for the Comic Con.  We also met Robert and Emily there.  I believe a good time was had by all, though the first half was a bit rough for me, as I developed a debilitating headache (something I’m generally not prone to) and had a hard time thinking about anything else.  After taking some drugs, eating lunch, drinking a bunch of water, and seeing Thor stride forth from the men’s room in a manner befitting the God of Thunder, I felt better and was more into it.  With nobody I was especially interested in seeing, I looked around Artists Ally and the vendor booths a bit more than usual.  Actually, I feel like I was around the vendor booths WAY more than usual this year, and there were some very good deals.  A lot of trades for deep discounts.  But oddly, there seemed to be a lot of repetition in what was available.  I don’t know if all these folks got their bulk purchases from the same place or what.  But you’d see volume 2 of a slightly obscure series at every booth.  Anyway.  It was weird.  Overall, the show seemed pretty good, there was a lot of good cosplay (can’t believe I just wrote that), and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  One thing though, parents, don’t be dumb.  Keep better track of your children.  I think in all the years previous that I’ve visited this convention, I’ve heard perhaps one or two announcements about lost children/parents.  This year, it seemed to happen every five minutes.  What’s up people?

Photo credit: Brad.

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (9/29/13-10/5/13)

    I feel a bit better about this particular week in dork, if only because I was able to be really lazy on Sunday and watch a bunch of movies, something I haven’t been able to do in a while.  I needed the rest, though it turned out not to be enough.  Not too much else going on, except that for about two hours, the Godzilla trailer was out there on the internet, and it looked good.  Not sure why it was taken down; that seems silly.

    On Sunday morning, I watched a few episodes of the serial killer TV series Hannibal.  Is it great?  No.  Honestly, it’s not even all that good.  But it’s watchable fluff.  For a show from one of the major networks, it’s shockingly adult, and I don’t just mean about the gore.  I mean, it’s not something a child or an illiterate feeb could follow with ease, making it at least better than ER, Big Bang Theory, or dozens (hundreds?…thousands?) of other similar crappy shows.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec:  “Who allowed you to shoot at science?”   Certainly, it is no great distinction, but this is Luc Besson’s best film since The Fifth Element.  It has a nice blend of his usual quirky humor, French sensibilities, and old timey adventure.  A plucky gal reporter travels the globe having crazy adventures, but her current quest involves a mummy, a mad scientist, an intellectual mummy, and a pterodactyl, all part of a puzzle that will save her infirmed sister.  Like most Besson films, it’s quirky and occasionally annoying, but unlike a lot of his more recent work, it’s fun enough to still be mildly enjoyable.  I’d have loved it as a kid, and I think that’s its best audience, with just enough potty humor and macabre to really rope ‘em in.  And who knows, maybe this will lead them to reading the comics and other books that inspire this sort of thing.  It also features possibly the only not terrible score by Eric Serra I’ve heard, so there’s something.

Lady Snowblood: Love Song of Vengeance:  The first film was an interesting take on the classic samurai film, with a swordswoman on a bloody quest for revenge.  This second film feels like an afterthought, with little of particular interest.  It’s fine I guess.  But I wouldn’t bother seeking it out.

The Brotherhood of Satan:  Another on a long list of 70s films about Satanists, this one has some cool bits, but like most of the others, it’s ultimately quite boring.  Lots of long, quiet shots, and sudden surreal action.  Lots of good character actors.  Worth checking out as a companion to The Devil’s Rain or Race With the Devil.  Just don’t go in looking for a classic.

The 70s, man.

Priest:  “I am the bringer of the tide.”  This movie is hardly genius, but it’s visually interesting and fairly fun.  It’s the sort of weird science fiction film that shouldn’t be so rare, where the filmmakers use modern technology to present something a bit different.  At the time, it was the closest thing to a Judge Dredd film (or Mutant Chronicles) I had seen.  Of course, now Dredd exists and that isn’t the case anymore.  Still, it’s an enjoyable little romp, and at least the vampires are monsters, not romantic heroes.

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir:  “As for me morals, I lived a man’s life, and I’m not ashamed of it.”  A gorgeous widow moves into a beautiful old haunted house, the dwelling place of an old sea captain’s ghost.  She’s brassy and he’s cantankerous.  It doesn’t take long for sparks to fly.  It’s a very cute romance, and the actors both have a great deal of fun with it.

Sundown:  Gene Tierney is the adventurous lady of dubious background who gets mixed up with some bloody business in Africa.  Gun running, conscientious objectors, and hidden bases.  This is no classic. It’s a pretty forgettable espionage adventure film, but watchable.  If you’re looking for movies to supplement your Indiana Jones love, you can throw this on the list, but don’t make the extra effort if it’s not readily available.

Godzilla Raids Again:  The English dubbed/edited version of this film is a mess, but a funny one.  The Japanese version is more serious, though not nearly as good as the original film, or as interesting and strange as the later entries in the series would become.  It’s worth a watch for fans of the series, and does have some good bits, but it’s forgettable.

Son of Fury:  Tyrone Power is full of haughty, baby-faced rage with just enough charm to be likable.  Gene Tierney is only slightly more Polynesian than I am (read: 0%), but OH MY GOODNESS does she look amazing in her Hollywood island garb.  Mmmmm.  It’s a fun movie, and I really enjoy John Carradine’s supporting role.

Slaves in Bondage:  One of those ‘morality pictures’ that were so popular in the day.  Basically, just an excuse to show women in various stages of undress, doing various forms of naughty business…all in the name of educating people on the dangers of free love, drink, and any sort of fun.  The acting is markedly dreadful, with exceptionally awkward dialog.  It’s terrible fun.

Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.:  One of the better new Godzilla films, this one builds on a lot of what’s gone before, taking the whole ‘Godzilla’s bones’ thing to its obvious, Mothra infused conclusion.  The characters are OK, and the call-backs to classic films are well done.  There’s some genuine emotional stuff, and a good ending.  Plus, some crazy action.  I’m generally not as into these post-1985 films as I am the original run, but this is certainly a good entry.

Glen and Randa:  What if Adam and Eve were from Brooklyn…and morons?  In this post-atomic war story about a couple of naïve young people wandering around being stupid, we’re subjected to some strange images and weird behavior.  Not a good film, but an interesting low budget exercise.  It’s full of all that post-hippie disillusionment and self-hatred that has infected most science fiction since the 60s.  There are some good scenes.  Worth checking out, but don’t expect much.  Kind of like Idaho Transfer.  This has an X rating, but it's from a time before X meant 'porn.'  At worst, it should have an R.  There's nudity and a bit of awkward sexuality, but nothing to push it any higher than an R, for sure.

The Misfits:  Wow.  This is an absolutely brutal portrait of a bunch of broken people on a booze fueled journey into hell.  The film is uncomfortable and painful, and the characters all way past their breaking point.  It’s fascinating, really.  I’m still no Monroe fan, nor am I much of a Gable fan.  But they’re both oddly compelling here.  It’s some stark, strange stuff.  Melodrama of high order.  It has a lurking menace to it, something about the music or the lighting, I don’t know.  But through the whole movie, I really wasn’t sure how dark they were gonna go, how brutal it was gonna be.  And, coming out around the time the Hayes codes were breaking down made the possibilities just that much more.  Remembered now as the final film of Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable, it is worth seeing past that ignominious distinction to see the film as it is, part of a changing tide of film as Hollywood began to shake the dust and cobwebs off.

Whirlpool:  Not an amazing Noir by any means, this does feature an especially fun and sleazy performance by Jose Ferrer.  I tuned in because of my building Gene Tierney obsession, but her role, while central to the film, was uninteresting.  You could have replaced her with any passable starlet of the time and nobody would have noticed.

    I’ve got multiple books going right now, not making a lot of progress in any of them.  Heck, I’ve even got a working CD player again, so I’m back to listening to audio books while I make my breakfast, which means I picked back up where I left off with a Cleopatra biography I was listening to last year.

    Seeing that trailer (now taken down, but no doubt coming out again soon) for the new Godzilla recharged my Kaiju engines again.  Not that they were all that run down.  And it worked out, because Tokyo S.O.S. had just come to me through NetFlix.  So, I’m gonna give Half Century War another read and do a review of that soon.  Darned fine comic series.

-Matt

Dinner is Served - Hannibal Teaser Trailer

Below is the first trailer for NBC's utterly preposterous Hannibal Lecter show.  Yes, I do think the casting of Mads Mikkelsen in the role of Hannibal The Cannibal is rather inspired and I am oh so curious to see the results, but the idea of a Red Dragon prequel brings great eye rolls from this one time Thomas Harris fanboy and I seriously don't want to watch another angry Will Graham G-Man wringing his hands around the crime scene.



--Brad

New Release Tuesday!!! (3/13/12)

Nothing out this week for me to go ga-ga over, but there are still several discs worthy of your attention.  Chief of which is a Spielberg flick that manages to feel old school Raiders despite it's use of state-of-the-art technology.  And yeah, let's not forget about the latest Paul W.S. Anderson new-classic, The Three Musketeers.

Buy!

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN:  Released just a couple weeks before Spielberg's maudlin War Horse, this mo-cap adventure film brought back a sense of adventure that I haven't felt since the early days of The Beard's career.  Films like Raiders of the Lost Ark and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. And, yeah, the animation is stunning.  The Pirate Ship Battle, was there anything close to being that cool in those Johnny Depp Pirates movies?  I like those flicks, but the answer is no.  I didn't know what to expect from this film going into the theater, but what I got was a Real Action Movie with Real Threat and Real Excitement that still managed to be perfectly suitable for the younger members of the crowd.

THE DESCENDANTS:  This film definitely has its haters, but I'm most certainly not one of them.  George Clooney gives one of his finest performances as the grieving husband struggling to understand his relationship with his coma wife and run amuck daughters.  Manipulative as all hell, but in a good way.  I left the film a puddle and liked it.

YOUNG ADULT:  Damn funny and Damn sad.  Young Adult is ten times better than Juno, the last film to team up director Jason Reitman with writer Diablo Cody.  Charlize Theron is a monster (pun intended) as the YA author trying to score with her family man ex.  And Patton Osswalt is her perfect foil as the crippled nerd of yore.  Their final bit of intimacy is one of the saddest moments caught on film last year.  And I laughed my butt off during the whole miserable experience.

Rent!

THE THREE MUSKETEERS:  Glutton for punishment?  You know it.  But I really enjoyed the last Resident Evil film and I'm in the mood for another crappy take on the classic Three Musketeers.  And c'mon, Christoph Waltz and Mads Mikkelsen as the two big bads.  I gotta check that out.

WIZARDS (BLU):  I haven't seen this film since High School when I was devouring Ralph Bakshi flicks like Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic.  They were never as good as I wanted them to be, but they were also just good enough.  Released the same year as Star Wars, Wizards is a post-apocalyptic horror mining plenty of Tolkien, hippie-dippie, and WWII imagery and I'm sure it will look pretty in blu.  

COONSKIN:  Now here's a Baskshi cartoon I've never seen.  I wonder why?  Bakshi turns his aggressively politically incorrect eye towards the Blaxploitation genre and I'm sure it's about as subtle as the crows in Fritz the Cat.  Still, gotta check it out.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN:  I need another Marilyn Monroe film in my life about as much as I need a new Three Musketeers flick.  That being said, people seem to be really enamored with Michelle Williams' performance even if they're not crazy about the actual film.  I'll throw this on my Netflix queue, but it's not gonna be near the top.  I'm guessing this will be okay at best.

BAG OF BONES:  Having just recently watched Seraphim Falls and a batch of Matador clips, I'm kinda enamored with Pierce Brosnan right now.  But Bag of Bones is not one of my favorite King novels.  It's okay at best.  But I've enjoyed every one of Mick Garris' Kingly adaptations (yes, even his Shining) and I'm sure I'll find something to like here.

Avoid!

MELANCHOLIA:  I really hated this movie.  It's pretty looking and all that, but I found Kirsten Dunst unlikable to the point of detrimental.  I have no idea how she got to her wedding day in the first place, what was Skarsgard's groom thinking!?!?!  

--Brad

Mortal Kombat's Paul WS Anderson's The Three Musketeers...wait for it...IN 3D!

My initial response is we need another Three Musketeers movie like we needed another Robin Hood.  And the below trailer looks all kinds of stupid lameness, but I might be tricking myself into excitement for Paul WS Anderson's reboot--DAMIT!  It's a REMAKE, not a REBOOT, will people stop using that word!  Anyway, I love the casting of Valhalla Rising's Mads Mikkelsen as the villainous Rochefort and who could be unexcited for Christophe Waltz's name on the cast list.  Plus, Ray Stevenson as Porthos?  I love that.  Still, this looks like crap.  Gonna see it.  Not paying for that 3D bologna though.

--Brad