Brad's Week In Dork! (8/31/14-9/6/14)

I'm pretty much all recovered from my Wisdom Tooth surgery.  A little jaw tension, a slight ache.  Saw the doc on Friday, and he told me I didn't have to worry about the other one until next year...unless infection or pain flares up.  Fingers crossed.  Sooooo - good news!  I guess.  This week was a whole heap of random.  On Sunday & Monday, I was pretty much still feeling the aftershocks from the surgery so I  just hopped from one film to the next on VOD, enjoying life from the couch.  No rhyme or reason, just what looked interesting in the moment.  It did lead me down a rabbit whole of Errrol Morris documentaries that I was not expecting.  Enjoyed all three, and will definitely seek out others.  I dragged myself out of the apartment on Tuesday, for an Alamo 100 screening of Singin' in the Rain & I went back for more with JAWS on Thursday.  As Matt said in his Week in Dork, nothing like seeing a classic on the big screen to make you fully appreciate the craft of storytelling.  Still, the big event of the week was the Baltimore Comic Con.  It might not have the big deal celebrities like San Diego or the endless array of Wizard Worlds, but if you're actually into comics there is no better place to be.  Great way to finish off the week.

Fading Gigolo:  Who doesn't love John Turturro?  From Barton Fink to Transformers, whenever the man is on screen I'm entertained.  His directorial efforts have left me a little cold, but they're always interesting in their subject matter.  Fading Gigolo is no different.  After his psychiatrist says too much, Woody Allen encourages Turturro to whore himself out for a three way.  Business booms from there, and Turturro's florist quickly finds himself knee deep in.....money.  Of course, simple sex is never simple.  The subplot of a jewish widow suffering crippling grief takes over the film, distracting from the cartoonish antics of Sharon Stone & Sofia Vergara's sexual predators.  Solid performances from Turturro, Allen, and Liev Schreiber, but Fading Gigolo is ultimately the kind of film you watch once.

Cuban Fury:  When I see Nick Frost why do I always ask, "Where's Simon Pegg?" but the same is not true when it's just Pegg on screen?  Nick Frost is certainly talented.  The man makes me laugh, but he always seems like half a double act.  Maybe it's simply that Frost is not always part of the cleverest of projects.  Cuban Fury is decent.  The story of a onetime salsa prodigy returning to the sport in an effort to win true love is chuckle-worthy and cute.  It's not ground breaking.  Chris O'Dowd being regulated to office douche bag is certainly disappointing.  Ian McShane as the salsa coach gets some laughs, but the film could have done more with him (a complaint often associated with McShane movies - ALWAYS MORE MCSHANE!!).  You could do worse than Cuban Fury, but it's no Edgar Wright film....a very tough, and probably cruel comparison.  Still.

Rage:  "Who did it?  WHO DID IT!?!!  WHODIDITWHODIDITWHODIDIT WHODIDITGWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Oh Nicolas Cage, you so crazy.  Except you really aren't these days.  The above quote is a five second scream almost worthy of yesteryear.  Almost.  I'm not going to use this space to continue the narrative of Nic Cage's disappointing direct-to-dvd downfall, but I don't mind lamenting for a bit.  Season of a Witch, I miss you - never mind Con Air, The Rock, and Adaptation.  Rage could have been a kickass revenger in which Cage brutalizes the bastards responsible for his daughter's murder.  Unfortunately, the film is a boring collection of scenes pretending to be hardcore.  Embarrassingly dull.  Can the upcoming Left Behind prove a return to that mega-acting glory?  I'm always the optimist.

The Thin Blue Line:  In 1976, Randall Adams was convicted and sentenced to death for the shooting death of patrolman Robert Wood.  Errol Morris' documentary, through dramatic reenactments and various interviews with the people surrounding the trial, makes a strong, and ultimately convincing case for Adams' innocence.  How did Adams end up behind bars?  Bad timing?  Poor decisions?  The terrifying morality behind the Texas judicial system?  Yeah, that last one.  The Paradise Lost of its day, thanks to The Thin Blue Line Adams was eventually released from prison.  Should be required viewing for all Americans.

Singin' In The Rain:  I've watched the film twice now, and I still agree with my Cinematic Resolution assessment, it's absolutely a "joyous outpouring" of cinema.  Gene Kelly is a tap dancing man's man - something I didn't even know was possible until I saw Singin' In The Rain.  Jean Hagen's blonde dimwit is a tad too obvious at times, and I never quite understood her romantic roadblock.  But, thankfully, the love triangle is not the showpiece, as Singin in the Rain is rather a rollicking tour through Hollywood's early history.  Like The Artist, Gene Kelly is not willing to let modernity roll him over, and thanks to a little nudging from partners Debbie Reynolds & Donald O'Connor, he invents a new style of storytelling.  I'd probably rank Singin' in the Rain as my third favorite musical, right behind The Blues Brothers & West Side Story.  Hard to beat a Mission from God & Shakespeare.

Tabloid:  Another Eroll Morris doc, but maybe not such the essential viewing for the American populace.  Let's see if I can give the content it's proper justice - In 1977, beauty queen Joyce McKinney was arrested in England for kidnapping Mormon Missionary Kirk Anderson & holding him prisoner in a Devon cottage where she chained him to a bed & forced intercourse.  They had been a one-time couple, and McKinney claimed that the Mormon Church had brainwashed her beloved.  Once the tabloid papers got their claws into the story, they uncovered that McKinney was a former S&M model, sometimes prostitute, who often used her sexual wiles to conquer the minds of men.  Or is McKinney a simple victim of love gone sour?  Also, what does this have to do with dog cloning???  It's a damn strange story, and who knows what really went down in '77, but Morris details a fascinating story.  These days McKinney regrets taking part in the documentary, saying that Morris misrepresented her side of the story, but it's hard to argue with the words coming out of her mouth.  Tabloid is bonkers all around.

The Unknown Known:  Who knows why, but for some reason Donald Rumsfeld agreed to be interrogated by Errol Morris.  I certainly see what Morris had to gain, but what did Rumsfeld?  That question is never really answered.  Well, the former Secretary of Defense certainly doesn't take a beating?  He can dish it better than he can take it.  And Morris does not come across as the Liberal Shining Knight.  I'm not a terribly political person.  The game has never interested me - disturbed me, scared me more like it.  The Unknown Known picks over some of the most disturbing history in modern America, filtered through Rumsfeld's participation.  He defends in some cases.  He questions in others.  He sometimes shrugs when the words are simply not there.  How will the Bush Jr administration go down in history's annals?  Time will tell - The Unknown Known is not the revelation some will want.

JAWS:  I love this film.  Sometimes it's hard to keep talking about the films you love.  How many ways can I say that Steven Speilberg's Jaws is one of The Great Films?  This is the second time I've seen the film on the big screen.  It's a whole different experience when Bruce stretches his 25 feet across the entire width of your vision.  It's genuinely AWEsome.  I've seen the film a hundred times, and you'd think there would be nothing new to see.  This go-around, instead of focusing on the genius of Robert Shaw's shark killer, I attached myself to Roy Scheider in a way that's never happened before.  The scene where his son mimics his movements around the dinner table - "Give me a kiss." "Why?" "Cuz I need it."  Just crushing.  I'm an emotional guy, I cry all the time at the movies, but this was the first time I teared up during Jaws.  I cherish the way Chief Brody can never finish a meal, that fear bubbling in his stomach.  And the way Brody pushes through that fear, eventually delivering him to that ship's mast, a rifle in his hand, and a final quip on his lips - "Smile you son of a bitch."  This film spawned forth an infinite spew of knockoffs, but what the wannabes never understood was that Jaws is not about the big beastie.  Jaws is all about character.  How these three very disparate men come together to tackle their own demons.  Brody, the failed New York cop fighting through fear to protect family & home.  Hooper, the rich kid oceanographer making a name for himself through a passion for fish.Quint, the emotionally wrecked sailor, killing sharks as revenge for all those sailors lost at sea.  I love Orca as much as the next guy, but it's just not Jaws.

Wayne's World:  Man, I used to love this movie so much.  I might not have watched it as much as Jaws, but I've seen it a few dozen times or so.  But I have not bothered with Wayne & Garth in several years.  Just one of those movies that floated out to sea.  Friday afternoon, I played a little game of Netflix Roulette & suddenly I was "Party On."  It's a cute film, but it's also completely rooted in my teen years.  I can't disassociate it from my teenager brain, nostalgia lost.  Rob Lowe, there's no better sleaze.

Double Indemnity:  "I'm rotten to the heart."  When most hear Film Noir most think Double Indemnity. With good reason.  It's a hateful bastard of a film.  Fred MacMurray is an insurance investigator who falls for Barbara Stanwyck's Femme Fatale, and agrees to bump off her husband in exchange for sex & money.  The guy's a dope.  The dame's a demon.  They deserve each other.  Billy Wilder is much beloved in Hollywood; he made every kind of movie, but his best were the ugly ones.  Double Indemnity & Ace in the Hole sizzle with mean, cold, rage fueled dialog.  Immoral men and women damning themselves with every word.  I love it.  If I took any issue with Double Indemnity it's that Barbara Stanwyck has never worked for me as a Fatale.  I've never understood her allure, how she pulled MacMurray's dope into her web?  Switch her out with Gloria Graham or Veronica Lake, and I get it, but Stanwyck is an off-putting creature.  The film though, is delightfully nasty.

Baltimore Comic Con:  There were not a lot of new faces in the crowd of Comic Book creators this year.  Sure, they're were some big guns (Greg Capullo, Francesco Francavilla, Eric Powell, Jim Starlin, etc), but they're regulars at this point and there was no need to wait in any lines.  I spent the majority of Saturday snapping photos of cosplayers and diving deep into the dealer's room.  I brought less money this year than I've ever had before, but thanks to $5 Trades, 50% off tables, and dealers willing to haggle, I walked away with more comics than any previous Balticon.  My favorite get was the X-Statix Omnibus which retailed for $125, but I scooped it up for $49.  I also grabbed volume 1 of Matt Fraction's Invincible Iron Man, Superman - Secret Origin, Walt Simonson's Thor, a few Shazam classics, and a treasure edition of Jack Kirby's 2001 A Space Odyssey.  Comics, man.  That's what it's all about.  Time & money deemed only one day for Baltimore this year, but I had as much fun as I've ever had.  Still, it would have been nice to sit in on some panels.  Next year, next year.

--Brad

Matt’s Week in Dork! (8/31/14-9/6/14)

    I feel like I didn’t get a lot done this week, but I also know I was out and about, and very busy for most of it.  My downtime on Sunday and Wednesday night was just so unproductive…Anyway.

    Seeing two classics on the big screen this week did remind me of a few things.  Movies are simply better on the big screen.  Not only the size of the screen and (hopefully) the immersive sound.  But also the group viewing experience.  You can feel the crowd, sense their reactions.  At Singin’ in the Rain, you could feel the joy, hear the feet tapping with the music, and catch the giggles at various jokes.  At Jaws, you could feel the tension, hear the intakes of breath, and yeah, I heard that little kid nearby announce that she’d spotted the shark.  And having seen both films on the small screen, in the privacy and comfort of my own home, I can say that seeing it in a theater with a bunch of people was better.  Yes, you run the chance of having a bad experience.  Yes, I had that awful child with the jittery legs and the constant sniffing (seriously, two hours of sniff…sniff….sniff…sniff) when I went to see King Kong.  But those are relatively rare.  If you’re just watching movies at home, you’re missing out on the wonderful and strange experience of group viewing.  And living here, in the greater Washington D.C. area, I’m so lucky.  We have theaters all around, and many of them run various older films for special showings.  The Alamo, The AFI Silver, The Angelica, even the Rave at Fairfax Corner all do special showings of classics, 80s nostalgia, and more.  However, I’ve been very frustrated to see how little reaction local film buffs have to this.  I talk to movie fans all the time, and they always have excuses as to why they don’t go out and support this awesome activity.  The excuse usually comes down to ‘it’s too expensive’ or ‘I’m too lazy to be bothered.’  Now, the price, I get.  It’s not cheap to go to the movies.  I’d argue that most people I talk to would go spend that money on something equally frivolous (or more) like drinking at a bar or over-paying for sushi.  But whatever.  The laziness thing actually pisses me off.  ‘It’s too far to drive?’  We live in an area where there are almost as many movie theaters as Starbucks.  The Alamo recently tried to do a Spaghetti Western series, but each showing had less and less people, until they just canceled it.  That pretty much says to me that my hoped for Martial Arts film series won’t happen.  When we go to the AFI to watch some amazing screenings of movies like Sweet Smell of Success or Razorback, the place is mostly empty.  A beautiful, huge, comfortable theater with good popcorn and clean bathrooms, and nobody goes!?  I know not everyone is into movies like I am, or like Brad is.  But we have some amazing opportunities to see great films in the way they were intended (on the big screen, with crowds of other people), and on the whole, we’re squandering it.  We’re voting with our dollars to be stuck in our homes, being schlubs, not socializing or supporting interesting things.  It makes me sad.

    On Sunday, I did manage to finish up reading the newest Philip Reeve (with Sarah McIntyre) book, Oliver and the Seawigs.  It’s a cute, if slight kids book.  Probably best for kids graduating from stuff like the Magic Tree House or Boxcar Children to slightly more advanced books like Geronimo Stilton.  The illustrations are copious and enjoyable.  Reeve always weaves a good yarn, but I can’t help but want something a bit more meaty from him.  His last book, Goblins, was also a lot of fun in that Lloyd Alexander sort of way.  But I’m hoping for something a bit more Mortal Engines.  I just don’t know if he’s all that interested in writing the bigger, more epic, big-idea science fiction.  But I can hope.  He remains one of only two writers (Christa Faust being the other) I’ll buy anything written by, sight unseen.

 Masters of Sex: Season 1:  A good companion show to Mad Men, Masters of Sex actually gets some things right more often.  Like Masters’s family life is actually interesting, and his wife feels like a human character.  The show is cute, awkward, touching, sad, and occasionally uplifting and wonderfully pro-science.  I tip my hat to everyone involved.  The cast is excellent, with not only a good core group, but lots of very good supporting character performances.  There's a lot of good TV being made these days if you take the time to seek it out.  This is on that list, for sure.

Age of Uprising: The Legend of Michael Kohlhass:  Visually rich, this historic drama about a man pushed too far by injustice never quite becomes the movie you keep wanting it to become.  Throughout, it sets the stage for some grim, revenge fueled violence, but time and again fails to deliver.  Medieval Death Wish turns into Medieval Sleep Wish.

Singin’ in the Rain:  Seeing the film for my second time, and my first on the big screen, I feel comfortable calling this one of the best movie musicals of all time, and a wonderful movie all around.  And, like The Artist, which covers the same general subject, this is a movie for lovers of movies.  The silent era fades and the passing fad of sound takes over.  The musical numbers are great, but the story itself is also engaging.

Jaws:  My first viewing of Jaws on the big screen, and I’ve never enjoyed it more.  Jaws is a weird one for me.  On the one hand, I know it’s an excellent movie.  And while I’m watching it, I love it.  But when I’m not watching it, I’m not thinking about it.  It holds little sway over me.  Yet, while I was watching it, I loved it more than ever before.  The camaraderie that develops is beautifully played, with Robert Shaw as the salty old seaman, Richard Dreyfuss as the rich nerd who turns out to be as tough as the old man, and Roy Scheider as the cowardly cop, trying to overcome crushing fear.  An awesome movie all around, and a good reminder of what can be done with practical effects, and how they would not translate to CGI.  Look at this movie, and then imagine what it would look like if made on a substantial budget today.  It wouldn’t look so good, I can tell you that.

Magic in the Moonlight:  I don’t like Woody Allen movies since way back.  And I generally try to avoid them (especially if he appears in ‘em).  But I also find Colin Firth to be infinitely charming, and I do like old timey Europe.  Set in the Jazz age, the movie is about a stage magician/fraud debunker who finds himself believing in the possibilities of the supernatural when he meets a profoundly gifted young spiritualist.  There’s a lot of cute and some funny.  I found the presentation of Firth’s skeptic a bit annoying, as it felt like the condescending way they tend to be portrayed in many mainstream movies and more expectedly in Christian themed film.  Yet that portrayal belied the message of the film.  Which was lacking in what the kids call subtlety.  My other complaint is that it felt too long.  The last 30 or so minutes could probably have been trimmed to 10 minutes and been much, much better.

    On Saturday, Lisa, Brad and I headed up to Baltimore for the Comic Con.  We also met Robert and Emily there.  I believe a good time was had by all, though the first half was a bit rough for me, as I developed a debilitating headache (something I’m generally not prone to) and had a hard time thinking about anything else.  After taking some drugs, eating lunch, drinking a bunch of water, and seeing Thor stride forth from the men’s room in a manner befitting the God of Thunder, I felt better and was more into it.  With nobody I was especially interested in seeing, I looked around Artists Ally and the vendor booths a bit more than usual.  Actually, I feel like I was around the vendor booths WAY more than usual this year, and there were some very good deals.  A lot of trades for deep discounts.  But oddly, there seemed to be a lot of repetition in what was available.  I don’t know if all these folks got their bulk purchases from the same place or what.  But you’d see volume 2 of a slightly obscure series at every booth.  Anyway.  It was weird.  Overall, the show seemed pretty good, there was a lot of good cosplay (can’t believe I just wrote that), and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  One thing though, parents, don’t be dumb.  Keep better track of your children.  I think in all the years previous that I’ve visited this convention, I’ve heard perhaps one or two announcements about lost children/parents.  This year, it seemed to happen every five minutes.  What’s up people?

Photo credit: Brad.

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (4/20/14-4/26/14)

    Oh, the perils of a social life.  Didn’t get a lot of Dork business done this week.  I was out on the town, having a blast.

The Asphalt Jungle:  The dingy underbelly of urban life is exposed in this nasty bit of work.  Sterling Hayden is but one of the film’s monsters, bent on filling his belly with hate and greed.  It features a lot of the usual Noir dialog, plot twists, and ugly characters.  And it features a pretty good heist.  The characters are a lot of fun, and there are a surprising number of them.  Even a young Marilyn Monroe shows up as a sympathetic floozy.  John Huston knew how to make a mean movie, tinged with grit and sadness.

Smiles of a Summer Night:  I guess I had this realization last year some time.  But yup.  I’m an Ingmar Bergman fan.  I love how fun this film is, how bawdy and funny it is.  And I love how sexy it is.  Gunnar Bjornstrand is so charming, the ladies are so lovely, and the shenanigans so much fun.  Bergman is not the cold, symbolic, unapproachable filmmaker he is often made out to be.  While some of his films are dense with symbol and some are certainly challenging, I think he is very much the populist; crafting excellent films for everyone to enjoy.  Smiles of a Summer Night is not difficult to understand.  It’s about our passions, our lusts, and our loves.  It’s about being alive.

Sorcerer:  Bring a change of clothes, a cool drink, and some freshly soothed nerves.  This movie will put you through the wringer.  A brutally slow burn, this film builds and builds and builds, until what is, in a sense, the main action of the film begins, probably an hour in.  It’s wonderfully shot, and absolutely revels in the awful, hot, poverty stricken, disgustingly wet world of South America.  And when the action does happen, it’s gripping and nasty.  Sorcerer is an excellent, thrilling, adventurous piece of mean spirited 70s cinema.  Desperate and awful people, hiding out on the fringe of civilization, taking on a job only a sucker would do.  Man, it’s good.

Burnt Offerings:  The 70s produced a lot of cool films, but it also produced a very particular type of horror film that seems unique to its time.  Burt Offerings is a perfect example of what I’m talking about (see also: The Sentinel, The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane, and Don’t Look Now) .  The characters are all totally insane, and not at all relatable.  The plot doesn’t make much sense.  The atmosphere is monstrously thick.  But sadly, so is the writing.  Frequently, very little happens, but there’s almost always a flippin’ crazy ending that doesn’t make much sense.  I enjoyed watching this film.  The actors are all good (even Karen Black isn’t bad), and it’s creepy and weird.  But it’s also, like so many others of its time, ultimately disappointing.  The big reveal at the end was a huge let down.  If Oliver Reed had opened that door and found some kind of great spider demon or something, I’d have lost my s%#& and this might be one of the coolest films ever.  Alas, what was behind the door was kind of boring.  If you’re looking to watch more movies of that particular 70s vibe, this was better than some, like The Other or the afore mentioned Don’t Look Now (I’ll never get why people like that one).

    On Thursday night, I read Godzilla: Gangsters & Goliaths.  It was OK.  Felt like a comic version of a lesser film in the classic (Showa) era.  Readable, with a few good bits, but nothing special.

The Apartment:  You can feel the yoke of the Hayes Codes slipping in this 1960 comedy about a wide-eyed pencil pusher striving for the American Dream.  As bosses keep using his apartment for their extramarital affairs, he starts to fall for the dame in the elevator.  Things get really out of hand when the big boss calls him in and demands the use of his place (but offers a sweet promotion).  Jack Lemmon balances sweet charm with wannabe corporate shark quite well.  Shirley MacLaine is kind of adorable as the broken girl with dashed hopes.  And Fred MacMurray is an absolute monster as the boorish, heartless, blowhard boss.  Lots of great character performances, a great style, and a clever script all make for a fine film.  I love Lemmon’s apartment, too, which seems like a realistic, lived in place, without seeming either too fancy/swinging or too rundown/slumy.

    After The Apartment, in keeping with the 60s theme, Mad Men hit the screen.  It’s been a long time since I watched season 1, but it didn’t take long for me to slide back in to the smooth, casually evil world of smoking, drinking, and rampant misogyny.  Awesome.

    Saturday, I headed in to DC to meet with a friend who was visiting from Europe.  It was an amazing day, gorgeously sunny without being too hot, and darn it, but I do love DC.  It’s so pretty, and so walker friendly.  Love it.  The only problem we had was with the crowded streets of Georgetown, but it wasn’t unexpected, and once you leave the main drag, it’s not bad at all.  Very pretty community.  I really love living in this area.  I don’t take advantage of living next to DC nearly as much as I should, but then, that makes these trips all the more special.

    While in the city, we hit up the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum.   I still don’t think it’s as good as the Udvar Hazy location, and sometimes the displays can seem a bit dull (maybe rudimentary is a better word?).  But this time around there were a few especially good exhibits.  The Spirit & Opportunity exhibit was breathtaking.  Gorgeous images of Mars taken by our robot explorer brothers.  Any one of those would make amazing art to hang on a wall.  Really wonderful.  And yeah, if I hadn’t been on top of it, I’d probably have shed a tear.  Quite impressive.

    Turns out, a lot of stuff is closed in DC on Saturday, which I was a bit surprised by.  So, it took a bit to find a place to eat.  But finally, we found Wicked Waffles, one of those obscure theme restaurants you find in bigger cities.  They make waffles, and they put things on ’em, like open faced sandwiches.   OK.  Why not.  It was pretty good (not amazing), and unusually inexpensive for food in the city.

    So, on the Dorkside, there wasn’t all that much to this week.  But on the personal side, it’s one of the best I’ve had in a long time.  Spring is finally in the air and I feel great.

-Matt