HANNA: This and Attack The Block are my two picks for the most thrilling, edge of your seat films of the year. Hanna might not have a whole lot of originality to its plot, but director Joe Wright beats out an extremely effective and stylized film that really flies in the face in the face of his previous works (The Soloist, Atonement, Pride & Prejudice these are movies that just don't spark my excitement). And finally, after several fine turns in so-so movies, Saoirse Ronan comes into her own as the titular ass-kicker. Plus, the Chemical Brothers score is gonna be tough to beat come this year's Best Lists.
Buy!
X-MEN FIRST CLASS: Although, I was not as enthralled with this film as some (I just can't get behind all those teen team building sequences, annoying brats) the relationship between James McAvoy's Charles Xavier and Michael Fassbender's Magneto is well worth the price of admission. They are dynamite together and if this film had dumped the kids and followed only their exploits I would have been over-the-moon pleased. As is, it's fun. But it's also just another X-Men movie. Too many characters, quick resolution.
FRINGE SEASON 3: I enjoyed the first season, but it's the second season that swept me off my feet. Not just an X-Files knockoff, Fringe transformed into a mindbending alternate reality saga with great performances from its three leads and gobs of guest star anticipation in the likes of mastermind Leonard Nimoy. By the conclusion of that season I was clambering for more, but alas, I watch tv only via DVD and I've been waiting....waiting....waiting....for this next box set. Hanna might be the Must Buy of the Week but Fringe Season 3 is the first dvd I'm gonna watch.
COMMUNITY: More TV. This is just fun. My wife forced me to watch a few episodes of the first season and I was surprised at how quick I was sucked in. Lots of fun references for all manner of dorks and I hear that this season putters about too much but frankly, I can't wait to see that Leone Spaghetti Western ep.
THE HILLS HAVE EYES (BLU): The Serpent and The Rainbow and this are my two favorite Wes Craven films. Both reach into my primitive brain and startle some long repressed trauma within and because of that I also can't say that these are my go-to fun horror flicks. I gotta be in the right mood--no, I gotta be prepared to subject myself to The Hills Have Eyes. Cannibals man. Baby eaters. And I can't wait to see the desert depravity in 1080p!
Rent!
EVERYTHING MUST GO: Will Ferrell gets serious...kinda. My friend Emily saw this in the theater and said it would be up my ally. Looking at the trailer I think she may be right. Still, I'm not a Ferrell fan...with the exception of The Other Guys (damn, I love that movie "Aim For The Bushes!") I can't really think of another Ferrell film that I actually give a darn about. Looks like this could be all kinds of awkward painful fun.
Avoid!
SCARFACE (BLU): I'm so sick of Scarface. There. I've said it. At some point in my teen years I liked this movie. And then the cult of Scarface reared it's head and you could buy Scarface blinds at Spencer's Gifts. Scarface shot glasses. Scarface cigarette lighters. Scarface whatever. I'm so bored by the obnoxious love this film gets. Watch Carlito's Way instead. Same movie. Better.
Kevin Bacon’s birthday was yesterday, and we didn’t think it should go unnoticed by the world of Dorks. He was the definition of cool when I was a little one, and while his career has been all over the place, perhaps down more often than up, he’s hung in there and managed to earn some real respect.
5. The Charming Villainy of Sebastian Shaw (X-Men: First Class): I was hardly the biggest fan of the latest mutant overload, but Kevin Bacon was like a bolt of lightning, giving the movie a great deal of its energy. Like a mutant Bond villain, he was a worthy adversary for Magneto and Prof. X.
4. The Everyman Morality of Tom Witzky (Stir of Echoes): Yeah, it’s not a very good movie, but Bacon sells the heck out of his Joe Schmo character’s dilemmas. He’s gonna find out who done that young girl wrong, and he doesn’t care what rocks he has to upturn.
3. He Wants That Cab (Planes, Trains, and Automobiles): If it weren’t for Kevin Bacon, none of Steve Martin’s mad adventure would have ever happened. Don’t mess with Bacon.
2. The “Oh, Crap!” Moments of Jack Swigert (Apollo 13): Sometimes you just have a bad day. From forgetting to file his taxes, to getting stuck in a deathtrap far out in space, things could have gone better.
1. The Movie Poster for Qucksilver (Quicksilver): When I was a kid, this poster hung in every video shop, from the mom & pop convenience store down the street to the two story job in the center of town. As I grew up, this VHS was at every video shop. Yet, like Lyle Alzado’s Destroyer (another ubiquitous poster), I never got around to seeing it. But you rocked the 80s, street biking Bacon!
Not an especially exciting week in Dorkness, but I did have a little fun. Up first, the movies.
Pandorum: Certainly not a perfect science fiction film, it does capitalize on some of my favorite tropes. A guy wakes up on a spaceship that has seen better days and needs to find out who he is, what’s been happening, how long he’s been asleep, where the ship is, and what the heck those horrible things running around in the halls are. With the help of a superior officer, a savage scientist and a crazy warrior farmer (and a few other friends he meets along the way), he may just be able to save everyone. Creepy sets, nasty monsters, and some cool ideas make this one worth a watch. There is a twist near the end I found annoying. And at one point, I thought it was going to have a twist that would ruin the film in my mind (but thankfully, it didn’t happen). But overall, it’s a good watch.
Doctor Who: Planet of the Daleks: In spite of being roughly the same length as the previous story, Frontier in Space, this story moves with a better pace and feels less repetitive. The Doctor’s perhaps too frequent enemy, the Daleks show up with a crazy plan to make their army invisible. But the slightly more energetic descendants of the Thals (who we first saw when William Hartnell first encountered the Daleks in his second story) may be able to help thwart the evil menace. The story is solid, some of the action is very fun (especially escaping the inescapable room), and you can sort of tell they’re prepping viewers for the exit of Jo Grant, which will happen in the next story, The Green Death.
Don't do it!
Strings: An interesting fantasy tale presented in the creepiest of fashions, Strings is mostly effective, especially when it comes to making the viewer feel for wooden puppets with basically motionless faces. I can’t say the film was great, but it was certainly an achievement and would probably be enjoyed by younger viewers, though there is plenty of freaky stuff that might bother the more sensitive.
Ride Lonesome: A cool revenge story slow burns its way through this western. Unfortunately, I found Randolph Scott (who I know is well liked by genre fans) completely lacking in anything one might mistake for charisma. The rest of the cast is fine, and the finale is fantastic. I’m not giving up on Scott, but as far as first impressions go, this wasn’t so great. And yeah, I totally watched this because of it being referenced in an episode of The Middleman. Sue me.
X-Men: First Class: Alternately awesome and kinda lame, First Class tells the story of the origin of the X-Men. Professor X, Magneto, and Sebastian Shaw are all very interesting and could have easily carried the whole film. Sadly, all the other mutants are kind of dull/annoying, especially Emma Frost (played by the infuriatingly one-note January Jones) and Mystique (played by Jennifer Lawrence who will never grow up to be Rebecca Romijn). Shaw’s rocking, swinging submarine is awesome. The CIA’s Camp Mutant is kind of silly. All the awkward teen scenes are terrible. There are great sequences and moments of real power, but the whole thing feels a bit jumbled, like scenes follow other scenes only by chance and not as a cause and effect chain. Still, the movie is cool, and I’m sure fans of the comics will find plenty to love.
Gigantor: I found this show extremely dull. I made it four or five episodes in before I had to quit, before I realized I was paying more attention to the dust motes in the room than I was to the TV. The stories were just not interesting, and the voice work (English language) was terrible. Ah, well.
I can make you SLEEEEEEP!
A League of Their Own: A pretty good tale of life on the home front during the Second World War, it would probably make a really good family film if not for the pretty pervasive strong language which seemed a bit out of place more often than not. A good bunch of characters all thrown together for a whirlwind tour of baseball and sexism. There are several good moments and performances. However, I can’t help but think it could have been better with a little tweeking here and there. Frankly, the last 20 or so minutes lacked that drama it needed for a good finale.
Push: While obviously setting up for sequels that will not likely be coming, Push is still a relatively entertaining superhero movie. The cast is solid, except for doped up Cupie Doll, Camilla Belle who on rare occasion actually seems to notice she’s in a film, though I don’t think she ever actually participates in anything on purpose. There isn’t really much new here. It’s kind of an X-Men movie, but set in Hong Kong. A bit of a Mission Impossible style climax helps move things along. Not great, but not bad. Heck of a lot better than the previous year’s extremely awful Jumper. I wish they’d pushed some more boundaries, though. Maybe a bit more violent, or higher stakes, or something.
I also watched a few more episodes of Stingray and The Middleman, which continue to be a lot of fun.
On the book front, I finally finished reading The Last Apocalypse by James Reston, Jr. Though the time period is fascinating, I found the book sadly lacking. After the first 50 or so pages, I just stopped caring about the Vikings. Unfortunately, he doesn’t stop talking about them until page 111. Then it’s a cursory overview of Spain, which felt like something you’d get in a high school text. He spends only about 50 pages there, and gives it little import. Then the last 110 or so pages are a blow-by-blow word salad of Central and Eastern European cultural clashes between emperors and popes. Had the book been organized slightly more chronologically, perhaps with into “50 Years Before,” “The Millennium,” and “The Aftermath,” then focusing on a few major areas within each section, like Scandinavia, Spain, Constantinople, and Rome it might have worked better. Instead, I found the timeline difficult to follow. I thought about it later and realized that events I was reading about were taking place at the same time as events I had read about 150 pages earlier, but they seemed like they were separated by centuries because of how much unrelated stuff I’d been reading about. This isn’t as haphazard in its organization as Maria Rosa Menocal’s Ornament of the World, but it’s also not as informative or engaging.
And I took my first solo trek into DC, where I was blocked from my destination for some time by Rolling Thunder, the annual motorcycle parade that cuts through the city and makes getting places a bigger pain than usual. And I ran afoul of the pickiest metal detector I’ve ever seen when I went for lunch with my visiting brother and friends. However, it was worth it for discovering yet another strange little hole in the wall in DC, the moderately creepy food court in the Old Post Office. Such a strange vibe. Part cafeteria, part mall food court, part bazaar. I half expected to see slaughtered pigs hanging from racks, rugs for sale, and someone offering black lotus (Stygian. The best!).
And Finally, I saw this nice little video featuring a bunch of great quotes from my favorite philosopher. I always find him to be a nice palate cleanser. You can pick up some Nietzsche anytime, read a little bit, feel refreshed, and go on with your day.
Honestly, the best decision made concerning X-Men First Class was giving it the Cuban Missile Crisis backdrop of 1962 and dropping Charles, Erik, and the lovely White Queen in groovy 60s attire. Whatever other problems this hard-to-please dork had with the plotting and teenybopper mutants can be dismissed with this fresh perspective.
Since Matt took Sky Captain, Black Dynamite, and Call of Cthulhu for his Fistful I had to go with some rather obvious choices. The films below totally capture (I imagine since I didn't come into the world till 1979) the feel and the joy of the time period being portrayed...or fetishized. And my top two picks have been safe and sound in My Top Ten All Time Favorite Movies for quite some time.
5. That Thing You Do!: The saga of The Wonders is warm and wholesome and it's one of those rare films about the music industry that also produces great music. I don't think this film or director Tom Hanks gets enough credit.
4. Ed Wood: Planet of the Apes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland. Whatever cinematic crimes Tim Burton has and will continue to unleash upon my poor, tired eyes will always be forgiven cuz once upon a time in the 1990s he granted us the gem that is Ed Wood. A film about the love of film and the joys of forcing that love on others no matter how little money or talent you have. Ed Wood gave me another personal hero to place atop my mantel.
3. Chinatown: Roman Polanksi's love letter to Film Noir is simply exquisite. It hits all the beats and still manages to feel new and exciting. A climax that punches you right in the gut and a villain so great he'd find his way back into cinema as a tortoise in this year's Rango.
2. Miller's Crossing: "Look in your heart" and witness the Coen Brothers' finest hour with this brilliant ode to the gangster film in which Albert Finney, Gabriel Byrne, Joe Polito, Marcia Gay Harden, and JE Freeman have never been better. But at the end of the day is this exercise in language just a film about a guy and his hat?
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark: Speaking of hats...In just the same fashion as he did with Star Wars, George Lucas sets about concocting the ultimate ode to the adventure movie serial while at the same time crafting the Ultimate Adventure Film. Harrison Ford's fedoraed silhouette has become so iconic it's easy to forget that Raiders started out as a retro experiment. It just doesn't get better than Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark.
The Summer is almost here, and though I'm not super excited about much in the way of movies this year, there are a few I certainly want to watch. I think the only movie that didn't make this list that I'm at all excited about is Thor. Not a character I've ever been too thrilled with, but I do like the cast and director. So, we'll see. In the meantime, here are my five most anticipated films of the summer.
5. Kung Fu Panda 2: Having just seen Kung Fu Panda, and having been surprisingly impressed by it, I’m now actually quite excited to see the sequel. I hope the heart remains in place.
4. Cowboys & Aliens: A great cast. And I do love weird genre mash-ups. Not that this is the first time science fiction and westerns have been mixed. Not by a long shot. Still, looks like it could be fun.
3. X-Men: First Class: OK, when I heard about this film, I had so much less than zero interest, I can’t tell you. I enjoyed the X-Men films. Yeah, even the much maligned third one. But Wolverine was bloody awful, and I am coming to like ‘prequels’ less and less. Not because I don’t think they can work, but because they usually don’t. However, the retro-60s vibe, and the awesome cast, teamed up with so far solid director Matthew Vaughn has won me over. The trailer looks far better than I ever would have expected.
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: I know there’s a lot of hate out there for these films. I don’t know if it’s just that they were successful and people love to complain about successful films, or what. But I’ve enjoyed the first three fantasy pirate movies, and I would come back and watch a new adventure every couple of years for as long as they keep making them. In spite of the casting of Penelope Cruz...Ugh.
1. Captain America: The First Avenger: I LOVE Joe Johnston’s The Rocketeer. And Captain America, under author Ed Brubaker, is one of the few mainstream Marvel titles I’ve enjoyed reading. So, I have high hopes for this WWII set action adventure film that so far looks like it keeps its pulp sensibilities firmly in place.
Least Anticipated films:
Conan the Barbarian: Sweet mother of crap, when is someone going to actually try reading some of Robert E. Howard’s awesome work before making an ‘adaptation’ of it? The first trailer is even more laughably bad than all the production stills that were leaking out last winter. Literally laughably bad, as the woman sitting behind me proved when it played before Sucker Punch this past weekend. I mean, even getting beyond the awful casting, why doesn’t he wear a shirt? In stead of getting the solid, true to Howard adaptation that was promised when this went into production, we’re getting what looks to be the worst of what people have come to believe Conan is about. This looks more like Conan The Destroyer, or worse, that awful TV series with Ralf Moeller.
