Matt’s Week in Dork! (11/25-12/1)

    Work continues to take up much of my time, though I’ve managed to get some reading in this week.  I’m getting a powerful itch to do some gaming again, so I think sometime in January I’ll try to host another game night.  It’s been too long.

Ultraviolet:  OK, look.  This is NOT a good movie.  No.  That’s misleading.  This is a really bad movie.  The script is garbage, and about 90% of the cast is almost as good.  Milla, who I love, is dreadful here (imagine her Alice performance from later Resident Evil films, cranked so far past 11 that it seems like self parody).  And Cameron Bright…gah, just looking at that kid makes me feel ill (I have a fear of Renaissance cherubs).  But I love Nick Chinlund and his germ phobia.  And William Fichtner’s sensitive vampire doctor is all teeth and unrequited love.  And I like a lot of the weird future setting.  The more surreal aspects (technology, especially) would have been nice in the MUCH better Aeon Flux.  I gather this film was heavily cut and suffered from studio interference, before release.  I kind of want to see an extended version.  It should be R-rated for absolute sure.  But at the same time, I don’t think another 30 or 40 minutes, even involving character development and ultra-violence, would actually fix it.  And the odd, CG gloss that hangs over everything, like someone went nuts with Photoshop blurring effects is just…weird.  Equilibrium, though extremely derivative, made me think that Kurt Wimmer might be a really strong new voice in science fiction, but this movie brings him down to Paul W.S. Anderson levels.  Not that I wouldn’t enjoy something schlocky piece ever year or two.  But I’d like to see more good stuff, too.

Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy:  As the first generation of Cold Warriors begin to fall to age and irrelevance, a deadly secret resting at the heart of England’s intelligence circles comes to light.  Is there a mole at the highest levels?  Which one of the trusted cadre of old spies might have been selling out to the other side for decades?  It’s up to a discarded old fossil and a young up and comer to find out.  Twists, turns, betrayals of the heart, of country, and of self.  Shadows, glances, and dark allies.  This is the stuff of Cold War dreams and nightmares.  An excellent cast plays a deadly game of chess in the shadow of the iron curtain.  The film does a fine job of recreating the era, from costumes to behavior.  It looks like the stuff of my early days (taking place just a couple years before I was born).

Hanna:  I ended up watching this movie again.  I just really dig the way Joe Wright handled familiar concepts.  Less about the destination, and more about the journey.  The cast, the music, the visuals.  It all comes together.  I wonder what Wright’s career is going to be like.  Mostly costume dramas, so far.  But this shows sign there might be something more.

Mystics of Bali:  “This is good blood!”  The most powerful wizard in the world is just a weird old man…or woman?  He’s like a pervert, shape-changing Yoda.  This movie reminds me how mysticism and mythology are full of really weird, really stupid ideas.  The lesson seems to be, don’t go to another country and learn their forms of black magic.  The bad dubbing and silly dialog should make for fun with friends.  Otherwise, this is a pretty bad flick.

Thirteen Days:  The Cuban Missile Crisis gets a tense, serious, and surprisingly non-sensationalistic take in this Cold War procedural.  The cast does a fine job, the tension is never nail biting, but still palpable.  And it shows most of the characters in a sympatric way, so that even many of the more boorish military types are seen as men trying to do what they think is right.  The dangers of miscommunication and lack of communication are clear, as well as being a slave to the past and expectations.

Rites of Frankenstein:  Poison Ivy as a blind vampire?  Some nice locations accidentally add quality to the film, but it’s still Jess Franco, so it still sucks.  I’m always a little impressed by how bad Franco botches everything he does.  A few good looking ladies.  A lot of boring talk.  A third of the movie is out of focus.  Yup.  Franco.

Franco!!!

Five Elements Ninjas:  “Secret weapons!  You bastards!”  Oh, man.  Right from the start, we’re treated to some classic chop-socky bad dubbing.  And some crazy weapon combat.  I was jazzed right away, because, while I do love hand to hand fighting, I’m generally more of a fan of weapon combat.  And this movie had oodles of weapons clashing.  That said, the barehanded vs. katana fight is all kinds of badass.  A half hour in and I had learned two lessons.  First, fighting ninjas sucks.  Second, taking off a cape and tossing it aside just before a fight makes you look totally badass.  And treating evil ninja-ladies like crap will turn them good and make them love you.  I hear tell that the ninja skill is very elusive, though.  This is probably the most enjoyable Shaw Brothers film I’ve seen to date.  Great fighting, amazing bad dubbing, and a crazy story.  If you enjoy this kind of movie, you’ve got to check this one out.

ParaNorman:  Not quite the kid-friendly movie I was expecting.  Not to say kids won’t like it, but it was more clever and a bit darker/more macabre than I figured.  There are some rather ghoulish bits, lots of surprising turns and some disgusting stuff.  It felt more like a kids/family movie of the early 80s, not as sanitized and non-threatening as most more modern kids movies.

Bored to Death Season 3:  “I do have a lot of sadness.  I’ve been very melancholic lately.”  The final season of this genius show is keeps me wanting more.  Twisted freaks orbiting around each other, self-obsessed monsters trying so hard to make a go at life.  One of the best comedy series I’ve ever seen, but frustratingly short.  Though it’s brevity means it never had time to outstay its welcome.  It’s nice to see a show about people as narcissistic and awkwardly confused as myself manage to get by.

Blow Out:  “You swallow a whole box o’ animal crackers?”  What the De Palma?  Boy, Brian De Palma loves Alfred Hitchcock.  But, Mr. De Palma, you sir are no Alfred Hitchcock.  It’s weird watching a movie where Nancy Allen is supposed to be sexy.  Not that she’s not an attractive woman.  I guess she is.  But she’s always had something of a soccer mom look, not a sex kitten.  And she’s so stupid in this one.  And Travolta is still a goofy bastard.  If there’s a lesson to be learned form this movie, I think it’s ‘invest in some danged curtains.’  Though the film is admittedly interesting looking, with plenty of visual gimmicks, the writing simply isn’t there, the acting is uneven, the music kind of sucks, and the tension rarely never gets very strong, sabotaged as it is by frequent silliness.

It's like the opening of 2001.  Where's the bone?

The Deadly Bees:  Swinging London has a bit of a bee problem.  Seems some strange cat has made an army of killer bugs with which he gives expression to his displeasure.  This feels like something half way between a Hammer and an American International film.  All those UK ‘that guy’ actors you’ll know if you’ve seen much from the era.  Suzanna Leigh is an odd leading lady, kinda weird looking, but kinda cute, too.  What I’ve come to call ‘ugly-pretty.’

    After a long hiatus, I got back into a few episodes of Charlie’s Angels.  Yeah, I know.  It’s not a good show.  But the ladies are beautiful and it’s fun playing ‘spot the future star.’  It’s still tough watching Kate Jackson getting relegated to the van with a turtleneck.  And I got through another disk of Farscape.  Love that show.

Oh, no!  Evil Angels!

    “If it looks bad, don’t look!”  I listened to The Shadow Over Innsmouth audio adaptation.  One of Lovecraft’s most ‘cinematic’ stories, it’s got plenty of mood, action, and a classic twist.  The cast does a good job on this one, even with the New England accents.  They’re not amazing, but don’t sound too far off or forced.  I hope the H.P. Lovecraft Historic Society keeps going with these stories.

    I finished Sam Harris’ book, The Moral Landscape.  There’s some food for thought.  Lots of great quotes.  The guy makes you think.

    And I read volume 4 of Invincible.  Definitely the best super hero comic out there.  And it’s so refreshing reading a book like this, where there’s a unified and consistent vision, unlike the Marvel and DC stuff I’ve been reading.  Stuff that happens changes what will happen later.  And it doesn’t just get written off and ignored every two years.

-Matt

Brad's Week In Dork! (4/1-4/7)

Finished The Wire!!!  Soooooooooo Good!  But somehow it didn't consume my entire week.  I knocked it out quick and moved onto a rather massive collection of movies and comic books.  The only film I caught in the theater was Wrath of the Titans and I definitely enjoyed it more than the rest of America.  But I guess the big event this week was the downloading of Amazon's Instant Video app onto my Playstation 3.  Something I once swore I would never do, but I fell to temptation when Morgan Spurlock's Comic Con doc premiered via streaming and once I stepped through the Looking Glass I had to see Ben Wheatley's Kill List.  I don't think I'll make a regular habit of this, I want to see my films first on the big screen when I can, but if there is no other option in the DC Market than I'll fork over 6.99 for the streaming option.  It's a brave new world and I realize that it's the death of ownable media, but you can't fight progress and blah, blah, blah.  

TV OF THE WEEK!

The Wire Season 5:  It might have taken me all of last week to get through Season 4, but I whipped through the final season of The Wire in just two sittings.  8 Hours on Sunday, 2 on Monday.  Bam.  Done.  And I already miss it.  Obviously, I'm way late to the party on this show and I'm sure David Simon would reject my too-little-too-late adoration (Read His Disgust Here), but I'm now here to declare The Wire as one of my all time favorite shows.  And I wasn't so sure about the Newspaper angle at the start of season 5 or McNulty's insane serial killer scheme, but by the midway point I was hooked.  And the confrontation between McNulty & Scott at the station made it all worth it.  Honestly, I was surprised at how Not Depressing the conclusion of the show was--sure, there were plenty of bodies to be buried but not as many as I was expecting.  I would love to live in a world where there was at least one or two more seasons of The Wire to consume, but I thought 5 was a fine conclusion for this cast of characters.  Omar, McNulty, Bubbles, Bunny, and Daniels all had satisfying climaxes, as did the kids from Season 4.  Really glad to see Namond and Prezbo one last time as well.  If by some miracle I'm not the last man on Earth to have seen this show, I encourage you stragglers to jump on this bandwagon.  There has never been a better cop show; I'm willing to stake my reputation on it.

Justified "Coalition":  What the hell!?!?  How could Boyd Crowder leave the guarding of Quarels to a couple of prostitutes and just one goon?!?!  Did he seriously think that this mafia beast man wouldn't take this trilogy of dopes out?  I guess Boyd hasn't had much interaction with Quarels and maybe he just didn't quite understand the savagery of his captive, but it still felt like some tremendously convenient scripting.  That being said, once I got over my fanboy indignation regarding this character flub, I found the build to next week's finale appropriately intense with Limehouse puppet mastering the pawns of Harlan County.  Raylan and Dickie have another showdown, and Trooper Tom...yeash.

Bored To Death Season 1:  After much prodding from Matthew, I finally broke down and watched HBO's half hour comedy.  It was solid.  Don't know if I liked it as much as him, or my wife for that matter, but there's a definite charm to Jason Schwartzman's wino wannabe private dick.  I was kinda hoping for more Noir-ish sendup, but it's more hipstery woe-is-me silly.  Ted Danson is probably my favorite aspect of the show.  His pothead publisher feels like an even more exaggerated version of his Curb Your Enthusiasm character and his cold sore was E-P-I-C.  Thankfully, Zach Galifanakis is not the obnoxious blob that he is in the Hangover films and I kinda adored his relationship with his sperm hoarding girlfriend.  Matt assures me that the second season is even better and I am curious to see what kind of bonkers Schwartzman & Co get into next.

Supernatural "Out With The Old":  Season 7 has been all over the map.  After several stand alone episodes (most of them fun), the boys encounter the Leviathan threat once more.  But not in any major plot development kinda way, just a couple of munchers running rogue from the pack.  There's a great opening sequence involving killer ballet shoes and watching Dean resist the temptation to dance was hilarious, but the rest of the ep was a big meh.  Time to move this story forward.

Supernatural "The Born-Again Identity":  Everyone's favorite angel returns to the series!  Unfortunately so does my least favorite demon, Meg.  Ugh.  That woman just annoys the hell outta me.  And this is yet another episode that deals with (and hopefully wraps up) Sam's latest bit of crazy brain.  I'd like to see the three guys kicking ass and taking names again, but it feels like Cas has been forever regulated to the background.  Bummer.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Take A Hard Ride:  "A Wanted Man, That's All That Matters." The spiritual sequel to the blaxploitation Super Group flick Three The Hard Way, this Spaghetti Western reteams genre titans Jim Brown, Fred Williamson, and Jim Kelly against bounty hunter Lee Van Cleef and his army of banditos. The fun resides in the bitter back & forth between man-of-his-word Brown and snake gambler Williamson. Kelly is solid as the half-breed mute with incredible but mysterious Kung Fu skills and Van Cleef is typically reliable, but we're here for the football icons. And the Spaghetti Western sub-genre offers plenty of violent twists and unexpected downbeats.  As usual, check out the rest of my thoughts for this week's Western Review at cineAWESOME!

Wrath of the Titans:  Free from the confines of the original film's remake, Wrath of the Titans is an enjoyable bit of CGI mythological Tom Foolery. Sam Worthington will never be my go-to action hero soldier, but with his hair grown out and the stench of Avatar fading, he's a Perseus I'm comfortable riding Pegasus. If I was 10 years old I'd be gaga for Wrath with its parade of classic beasties (The Minotaur! The Cyclops! Cronus!) and the Hades/Zeus smackdown teamup.  Sure it's probably gonna fade from memory rather quickly but it's fun enough while running.  And The Real Rocknrolla's Toby Kebbell is kinda hilarious with his useless demigod and surprisingly effective pep talks.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy:  A celebration of Cold War espionage and World War nostalgia, director Tomas Alfredson crafts a stylish, devil-in-the-details puzzle thriller that's nearly as cool as its cast. Gary Oldman's top notch spy is a quiet badass in which the film's most exciting action sequences seem to occur behind his thick-rimmed glasses. And he's surrounded by Britain's finest with Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, John Hurt, and Benedict Cumberbatch all delivering the goods. Not the kind of film to just leave on while you iron shirts, it requires your full attention but the invested will be rewarded.

Pusher:  Nicolas Winding Refn's directorial debut is a grungy little monster of a film following two low rent dealers (Kim Bodnia & Mads Mikkelsen) as they naturally self-destruct amongst the real drug lord professionals. The film definitely thumps along to its own rhythm and it takes on a pretty horrific glow, but it failed to capture my full attention.  Not surprisingly, Mikkelsen steals the show with his few scenes and I do look forward to him taking center stage in the later parts of the trilogy.  Still, it's telling that I didn't immediately pop in the next installment after the credits rolled.

The Wild Angels:  "We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man!...And We Wanna Get Loaded!" Peter Fonda & Bruce Dern are Blues & The Loser, the two big toughs that run the San Pedro chapter of the Hell's Angels and they spend their days finding new ways to hassle cops and play their bongos. Roger Corman continues his youth-gone-mad formula battling conformity just cuz; whether its Rock n Roll High Schoolers or swastika fetishizing bikers. Still, I couldn't help but side with Dick Miller's Anzio vet who chides Fonda for wearing the Iron Cross or Frank Maxwell's disgusted, morally(and physically)-assaulted preacher when dealing with these inconsistent psychotics. Yeah, you wanna be free and get loaded but you also don't have qualms with raping Diane Ladd.  This isn't just about rockin' around the clock.

The Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes:  It's got a great title and a really cool poster, but that's about it. Roger Corman has produced hundreds of movies and they're not all going to be winners. Paul Birch and Lorna Thayer run around avoiding twinkling lights while birds, dogs, and milk cows run amuck. But they've got love and they've got a shotgun so it's all gonna be okay.  But it won't be Not Boring...

Machine Gun Kelly:  "When Rabbits Roar It's A Bad Time." A rather young and mustacheless Charles Bronson stars as real-life villain Machine Gun Kelly in this Roger Corman cheapie. Pushed around by his moll, Kelly plays it tough with his Tommy Gun.  But when a kidnapping scheme turns sour and an intense fear of death haunts his nightmares, the big bad discerns the futility of his crimes and the death chair seems imminent. Bronson and Susan Cabot are excellent together as their bickering escalates, and the remaining crippled goons are solid supporters.  Not my favorite Corman gangster picture, this still would make an excellent companion to St Valentine's Day Massacre.

Comic Con Episode IV A Fan's Hope:  Don't expect much depth from Morgan Spurlock's latest documentary, more than anything else, it plays simply as a big commercial for Comic Con. That being said, as a recent attendee, this gets me incredibly pumped for this year's trip to Dork Mecca. Hall H Celebrities! Exclusive Action Figures! The Masquerade! Stan Lee! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Those not in the know will not find understanding here, but for the rest of us lucky dorks, A Fan's Hope provides a nice photo album experience.

Miss Bala:  This is a pretty fantastic bit of brutal chaos in which wannabe beauty queen Stephanie Sigman visits the wrong Tijuana Night Club on the wrong night before competition and witnesses a gangland massacre. But that's just the beginning of her troubles. What works so well about this film is Sigman's (and the audiences) utter confusion surrounding the criminal acts. There's something going on about DEA Agents and a rival gang, but all you can be concerned with is how much hell these outside forces are going to put Sigman and her family through. She wanders in and out of gun battles, news reports, police departments, and she has no control as to where this violence is going to dump her. Scary and thrilling atypical action picture.

Kill List:  "I used to love looking at fires when I was a kid." The less known about this film the better. Don't watch the trailer, don't read reviews. Just see the movie. Kill List begins with some pretty epic domestic squabling and slowly pulls you into a terrifying realm of violence. Parts reminded me of Norwegian comic book artist Jason's I Killed Adolf Hitler (but I see that book everywhere I turn these days) and other bits were straight outta The Wicker Man. It's a beast of a flick with bursting gore not for the timid.  Kill List is easily one of the year's best mood pieces and one of my favorite films of the year so far.  But I might have already said too much.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Ragemoor #1:  As much as I've loved Richard Corben's Hellboy minis of late, it's great to see him tackling something original.  And Ragemoor seems to be the perfect fit for the artist and a solid companion to his House on the Borderland adaptation.  Who doesn't love an evil castle fueled on pagan blood?  Especially one that consumes long lost relatives who dare to scoff its monstrous intent?  Hard to tell who or what the focus of this series is going to be, but I'm game.

Fatale #4:  Reading this month to month is proving difficult.  With a plot that follows several characters over different decades, there is a lot to juggle between issues.  However, when you read them back to back Fatale is shaping up to be one of the best genre mashups in recent years.  Four issues into this proposed 15 issue Lovecraft Noir epic, the horror of the saga begins to solidify.  And I can't think of another comic out there I look more forward to each month...until Hellboy in Hell hits the racks.

Winter Soldier #3:  Is it me, or does Ed Brubaker's Winter Soldier feel a lot like Brian Michael Bendis early on in New Avengers?  Brubaker's grabbing Doom Bots and jet pack machine gun apes and whatever else he can find under Marvel's rock and forcing the odd onto Bucky & Black Widow.  Maybe there's a little Grant Morrison in there too.  It's seriously fun, but maybe more fanciful than I would like...or, maybe I'm just still bitter about Steve Rodgers' return to Cap.

Jason Conquers America:  Don't bother with this one shot unless you are a die hard Jason fan.  A sampling of his oddball cartoons separated out between a couple of brief interviews.  Nothing here matches the power of his graphic novels but fanboys will get a chuckle outta God's leaf pile and the Grim Reaper's balloon.

--Brad

New Release Tuesday!!! (3/20/12)

Yes, yes, yes.  Now here's a good week's worth of releases.  No real classics, but some fine cinema from 2011 along with one of my favorite (seemingly) under appreciated modern Bat cartoons.  That's right The Brave and the Bold gets the--

Must Buy DVD of the Week!

BATMAN THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD SEASON 2 PART 2:  I've been catching up on these shows via the slow DVD trickle and I've enjoyed each and every whacky disc.  Unfortunately, after this one, there is only one season left to the show; so we gotta enjoy it while it lasts.  I know I've stated my love for this show on this blog before, but it's worth repeating.  Forget Bruce Timm's untouchable animated series from the 90s.  This doesn't touch that.  But it doesn't try to either.  The Brave and The Bold celebrates the insanity of the 40s-70s Bat comics.  Tales in which Bats battles talking gorillas and falls into dinosaur riddled alternate dimensions.  It's all kinds of crazy fun.  Take a taste below.

Buy!

TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY:  My fifth favorite film from last year, Tinker Tailor came very close to making my Must Buy DVD of the Week.  Gary Oldman disolves into MI5er Smiley and its one of the single best performances of the last ten years.  Mean, angry, but calculating and quiet.  And the film just looks utterly amazing.  Let The Right One In was a solid enough venture, but Tomas Alfredson knocks it outta the park with this deliberate spy thriller.  You can't just leave it on in the background, you have to give yourself to the story but if you invest your time you'll be rewarded with some pretty damn intense Cold War espionage.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO:  Yeah, I was definitely disappointed in this flick but there's enough interesting bits from an acting and directing standpoint to be worth the purchase.  And David Fincher DVDs are usually well worth the price tag.  But I don't want to see another Salander flick, especially one helmed by Fincher.  Time to move on.  Get yer butt on 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea or something seriously genre.  I want your art doing pulp now.

THE MUPPETS:  Just finished watching this with the wife minutes ago.  She eats it up and I'm right there with her.  The best Muppet film since the original for sure, but I don't think it succeeds strictly on nostalgia.  Jason Segal nearly drowns the film with love, but its downright intoxicating.  And Bret McKenzie's songs are adorable and addictive, impossible to get outta my head after the credits roll.


Rent!

THE SITTER:  An R Rated & male centric take on one of my favorite 80s classics, Adventures in Babysitting, I was pretty much uninterested in this flick until I saw 21 Jump Street earlier this afternoon.  That film was so ridiculously funny I think I'm gonna give this grossout fest a try.

ROADRACERS:  Robert Rodriguez filmed this TV movie after El Mariachi, but it didn't see a release till after Desperado.  And it's the only Rodriguez effort I've never seen before.  Curious, but not overjoyed due to the David Arquette involvement.  Gotta say I love how this cover tries to ape that Sin City look--by all accounts, those expecting Frank Miller should look elsewhere.  But it's got William Sadler...so, that's cool.

Avoid!

THE HILLS HAVE EYES PART 2:  I love Wes Craven's original film, but this is just an uncreative mess.  Granted, it's been at least ten years since I've seen this and it was only the one time, but I remember hating it with a rather intense passion.  Just watch the original again.

--Brad

Dork Art: The BAFTA Brochures

Am I seriously still posting new Drive art?!?!?  Why, yes I am!  The BAFTAs are this Sunday and they've hired Eda Akaltun & StudioSmall to design their brochure covers based on their Best Picture nominees.  The Drive one is obviously my favorite, but that Artist image is also quite cool.  Thanks to Slash Film for the heads up.

--Brad