A Fistful of Summer 2013! (Brad's Picks)

That's it folks.  Summer's over.  Back to school.  So what grade do we give 2013's Blockbuster Season?  I'm thinking a big, dud of a C.  As always, when April pushed into May, my heart was filled with joyous anticipation for the titanic tent poles Hollywood was churning down their production line.  I like all kinds of films, from the smallest micro budgets to the embarrassingly corpulent Baytrocities.  I vote YES on Proposition Transformers 4!  And with 2013 offering Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness, Fast & Furious 6, Pacific Rim, The Lone Ranger, Man of Steel, and The Wolverine my fanboy hard-on was throbbing with an intensity not felt since...well, last Summer when The Avengers & The Dark Knight Rises ruled my soul.  And frankly the films leading into these Blockbusters only ranged from the "Ok" to the "Pretty good."  I needed a great crop of Extravaganza to feel solid about this cinema year.  Oh well.  Of the bloated behemoths listed above, only one movie makes my Fistful of Summer list.  They weren't all bad - heck, some were pretty good - but, nearly every flick this year has left that bitter taste of disappointment on my tongue.  None more vile than...

Star Trek Into Darkness.  It's been nearly three months since my last viewing, and JJ Abrams's So-Damn-Dumb sequel still manages to enrage this Trekkie.  And that's just annoying.  I hate being that asshole.  Rereading my angry, incoherent review of the film all I can do is shake my head at the fanboy cliche Into Darkness brought out of me.  I'm actually looking forward to rewatching the film so that maybe, just maybe, I can find something positive to say about that mess.  Is it truly the worst Star Trek film as voted by Trekkies?  I don't know about that...Star Trek Nemesis has to be the nadir of the franchise, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone in the disappointment.   Does it's lackluster display at the box office mean the end of this lens-flared crew?  Probably not, but I smell new director and budget cuts in the Enterprise's future.  And that's a good thing.

I think the biggest shock this summer was how much I enjoyed The Lone Ranger.  *crickets*  Have I lost you?  Did you immediately click away at the very idea of a positive word thrown Jerry Bruckheimer's way?  Of course not, you're still reading just to see what insanely idiotic thing I'll type next.  After all, how could I possibly hate so hard on Star Trek Into Darkness when I had so much damn fun watching The Lone Ranger?  I don't have a good answer for you.  The Lone Ranger is an absolute train wreck, but I found myself riotously laughing as men had their hearts eaten from their chests, and bandits squealed in joy at the possibility of duck foot rape.  What the hell was Disney thinking with this one?  It's a horror show, but it's also so damn weird that I found it utterly compelling. If you want to read more of my absurd Lone Ranger praise than click on over to my Daily Grindhouse review.  If it wasn't for this past weekend, The Lone Ranger would have certainly made this Fistful of Summer.

Finally, before we get to the Top 5, I just wanted to reiterate how the Blockbuster failed to excite this year.  Again, I enjoyed Pacific Rim, Elysium, Furious 6, & Man of Steel to a degree, but all fell short of their source material.  Cinema is failing too often to reach beyond simple nostalgia, and that's worrisome.  There are going to be fewer and fewer billion dollar returns like The Avengers.  The bubble will burst.  Wishful thinking?  Summer 2015 will bring us Star Wars - Episode VII, Avengers 2, Batman vs Superman, James Bond 24, Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Jurassic Park 4, Independence Day 2, Warcraft, Assassins Creed, The Fantastic Four reboot, and a new Terminator.  Will the world show up, or are there gonna be a lot of unhappy suits in Hollywood?  I sense some duds, or at least a batch of films that cost too much and make too little.  Or maybe that's all bullshit.  Maybe, after 34 years, I'm just finally hitting blockbuster fatigue.  

I certainly needed more protein in my diet, and this year I made more of an effort to hit the art theaters for those hipster, indie darlings.  Richard Linklater's Before Midnight, Woody Allen's Blue Jasmine, Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing, Jim Rash & Nat Faxon's The Way Way Back, Quentin Dupieux's Wrong, and a slew of VOD offerings gave some much needed respite from the Summer drought.  Still, I'm not an art house goon, and none of these tiny pictures could quite crack my Top 5.  So, shall we get on with it - 

5.  You're Next:  Possibly one of the most twisting cinematic experiences I had this year.  I just watched it this past Tuesday in a completely empty movie theater, and it took me from an exhausted seen-it-all horror aficionado to a hand clapping, seat jumping, school boy.  You're Next has been languishing on the Lionsgate shelf for a couple of years now, and I was sick of hearing about it six months ago.  Not to mention that the marketing for the film makes You're Next look like just another home invasion flick a la The Strangers or Funny Games.  And for the first twenty minutes, it's just that.  The Animals creep along the woods, the kills are fairly ordinary...then Sharni Vinson gets her hands on a meat tenderizer.  You're Next shifts a bit; the plot opens up, and suddenly the film is a whole lotta fun.  This is not some brooding slasher, it's a very 80s, kick-ass chick movie.  Not too many of those around anymore, and I can't help but feel that You're Next gets everything right that the Evil Dead remake gets wrong.

4.  Iron Man 3:  The First Mega Movie of the Summer is also the only Blockbuster to land on my top five.  Forget Avengers - Age of Ultron, Iron Man 3 is the real sequel to last year's Marvel Masterpiece, and even if it doesn't quite reach the heights of that Super Group, director Shane Black still delivers the finest entry in Shellhead's trilogy.  The intergalactic destruction brought down on New York City had lasting effects on Tony Stark; his panic attacks deliver a level of humanity to the character in the same fashion his alcoholism did in the comic books (we'll just have to settle on this PG-13, family friendly affliction).  Black manages to bring his wit & banter with him, a mean feat not yet accomplished by any of the Marvel Studios henchmen.  It's not Lethal Weapon, but there is enough of that flavor to invigorate the franchise.  Ben Kingsley's The Mandarin also happens to be the most surprisingly entertaining villain of the Super Hero genre, even if Guy Pearce's wronged scientist is a bit of a dullard and the film's revelations leave ignorant geeks to rage on the message boards.  Marvel continues to build its universe, and I'm still giddy for more.  Thor, Cap, The Guardians of the Galaxy - I'm all in.

3.  This Is The End:  The first film this year that left me 100% satisfied was this silly, stoner deconstruction of celebrity.  "Deconstruction."  That's probably giving the film too much credit.  This Is The End is just too damn funny to ignore.  Seth Rogen & Jay Baruchel play themselves, a couple of dimwits who use their good fortune to gorge upon Carl's Jr, video games & pot.  When Rogen drags Baruchel to James Franco's party the sky opens up and Revelation hits - the good get zapped up to heaven, and the bad are left behind to battle demon dogs as well as each other.  This film is bananas.  The entire cast has a blast destroying their personas; Danny McBride is exceptionally reprehensible, taking to the new rules of Thunderdome like a cannibal duck to water.  This Is The End is dumb, gross, and ignorant.  And I loved every second of it.

2.  The World's End:  And now for something completely different.  Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, & Nick Frost reteam to take on the Apocalypse but from a very British perspective.  The World's End still has plenty of silly, but whereas This Is The End often succeeds with stupidity, Wright's screenplay wins on childish wit.  There is a difference, a small one maybe, but it's enough to push one film over the other.  Several themes and in-jokes are carried throughout the Cornetto Trilogy, but the key ingredient has to be plutonic love.  I might still prefer both Shaun of the Dead & Hot Fuzz, but after a second viewing I think The World's End displays the strongest on-screen friendship yet.  It's a broken relationship, five friends that drifted apart years ago, but when Simon Pegg reaches a breaking point, the draw of his high school memory pulls the more successful chums back together.  A high school reunion involving an epic pub crawl through their home town.  Of course, as movies have taught us over and over, you can't go home again.  Especially when the body snatchers have set up shop.

1.  Only God Forgives:  Before the Summer started I postulated that at year's end this film was going to land on top, and as I write this, I seriously doubt any other film of 2013 will topple this beast from super stylist Nicholas Winding Refn.  Self-fullfilling prophecy?  Naw.  Refn just makes the slick & awful kind of films I love.  But don't confuse this Shakespearean battle between Heaven & Hell as another Drive.  Those looking for a recreation of 2011's cool zen Michael Mann'er will be sorely disappointed.  Only God Forgives is a deeply painful exploration of self-hate mixed with heavy handed gobs of MacBeth & Oedipus Rex that nearly ruptures from symbolism overload.  It's easy to see why some dared to Boo at the Cannes Film Festival, or why those craving more dreamy Ryan Gosling would reel back in disgust. Thai Boxing, Karaoke, Uzis, Samurai Swords.  A lot of nifty elements can be found within the frame, but the film is more concerned with terrible redemption than video game versus combat.  Certainly not for everybody, but Only God Forgives left this viewer completely satiated in a Summer season doused in mediocrity.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (4/28/13-5/4/13)

This was a good one.  Yes, I did finally score a copy of Martin Scorsese's New York New York, but I decided to get focused - devoting almost my entire attention upon comic books and comic book movies.    Iron Man 3 launched the summer season, and as stated a few weeks back, Shane Black's entry into the Marvel Universe had my curiosity all a flutter.  The king of the 1980s buddy cop dynamic backing the canned frontman of Marvel's Avengers?  What can the man who wrote Lethal Weapon & Last Action Hero offer the bombastics of Super Hero cinema?  Well, I'm happy to report that he succeeds in carrying the weight of The Avengers, and Robert Downey Jr discovers new depths to plummet Tony Stark.  It's a damn solid sequel.

It's been almost a year since I attended AvengersFest, and I was really craving another spandex lead-in to the next Marvel Blockbuster.  Rather than killing a day with a bombardment of heroics, I spread the Marvel mania across the week, allowing each entry its proper space to soak into the brain (as if it wasn't addled enough).  As you'll see below, films I used to place above others have slipped, and films I once scoffed have taken the top spot in my heart.  Don't worry, The Avengers still rules my fanboygasms.  The other great thing about devoting this week to costumed shenanigans was that it would also climax in Free Comic Book Day, the ultimate celebration of the four color form.  And, oh yeah, The Alamo Drafthouse DC has finally landed in the neighborhood.  Time to Happy Dance.

Iron Man:  "You think you're the only super hero in the world?" The Marvel Cinematic Universe is unleashed with what is, for the most part, a rather routine super hero origin story. But to crap on ol' Shellhead would be unfair. Where was the genre in 2008? Richard Donner's Superman. Tim Burton's Batman. Bryan Singer's X-Men. Sam Raimi's Spider-Man. Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins (the best of the bunch). And a bevy of flicks not even worth mentioning other than to belittle or vehemently scorn (I'm looking at you Ghost Rider). What Jon Favreau's Iron Man really offered was a fresh personality. Robert Downey Jr's Tony Stark is undoubtably charming - the Marvel James Bond - bedding ladies & knocking down the rogues out to cause global trouble. The film doesn't excite so much on the rewatches. It's got solid action, an endearing relationship in Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts, and a decent enough baddie in Jeff Bridges's bushy beard. But as The Avengers Initiative post-credit tag promises, Iron Man is simply a stepping stone into a comic book kingdom popcorn audiences were just simply not aware of, but one fanboys had been craving for decades.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang:  "I want you to picture a bullet inside your head!" Having supplied most of my boob tube youth with its bitter snark, screenwriter Shane Black steps behind the camera to show all the pretenders how its really done. Robert Downey Jr leaps out of movie jail with this perfectly biting jackass performance. Tony Stark is born in Harry Lockhart, small time crook turned actor turned gumshoe. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a mean little miracle of a meta comedy - a film that expertly mixes chuckles & violence, more so than the best of Lethal Weapons or the smiling hate of The Last Boy Scout. Val Kilmer delivers his final hurrah of charm as PI Gay Perry, the Abbott to Downey's Costello...or is he Costello to Downey's Abbott. Whatever. They're beautiful together.  It's all winks, but they're seriously strong winks.  "For all you good people in the midwest, sorry we said 'Fuck' so much."

Iron Man 2:  This film gets dumped on as a meandering mess of improvisation and world building, and yes, the strain is certainly felt during drunken party brawling & "Please Exit The Donut" S.H.I.E.L.D encounters, but in the aftermath of The Avengers' blockbusting success Iron Man 2 is an entertaining brick in Marvel's castle. Tony Stark's descent into ego, triggered by the first film's "I Am Iron Man" climax, is a fresh idea not previously explored in the movies.  And Robert Downey Jr manages to keep the audience on his side even when he's behaving like an absolute ass.  It helps that Sam Rockwell's Justin Hammer is prancing on the stage around him, squirming & slithering his way to nebbish villainy. He's certainly more engaging than Mickey Rourke's whip cracking behemoth; if anyone gets the short end of the stick in this film it is certainly the big bad. He's relegated to two half-ass cgi encounters, and is mostly used as a slobbering foil to Sam Rockwell's bewilderment. Iron Man 2 is far from a cohesive picture, but I still find it more enjoyable to the run-of-a-mill origin of the first film. It's a dip into Marvel crazy. A hint of something bigger; something never attempted before in Hollywood.

Homicide - Life on the Street Season 5:  Introduced at the tail end of the last season, Erik Dellums's Luther Mahoney takes over season 5 as the looming crime boss of Baltimore.  He's a monster for sure.  Suave, cool, all confidence.  His smile is as violent as any drive-by shooting.  Reed Diamond's Detective Kellerman begins his slippery descent into hell with arson corruption charges and concludes the season with a gun pointed at the kingpin.  He was one of my favorite new characters of last season, but Kellerman eventually morphs into the most despicable and utterly pathetic Detective of the series.  How his partner Lewis manages to scrape the filth from his coat is beyond me - the most baffling, but acceptable television script doctoring, I guess.  Other highlights from the season are the past villains in the "Prison Riot" reunion,  Elijah Wood's boarding school killer ("The True Test"), and the climactic investigation into Detective Beau Felton's suicide...or murder?  Of the seasons I've rewatched so far, this is easily my favorite.  Kellerman's internal struggle, the straining Pembleton marriage, and the parade of casually evil killings make this one of the most tense, and painful runs of television.  Just the way I like my Homicide.

Detective Comics #20:  Seven issues into his run and writer John Layman brings his Emperor Penguin arc to a conclusion...or at least an end to a beginning.  His run on Detective has been plagued with crossovers ("Death of the Family" & "Requiem"), but when it's not distracted it's been exceptional and this single issue might be the highlight.  Goon turned pooh-bah, Ignatius Ogilvy had a good run of it and his mixing of the Man-Bat syrum with both Poison Ivy's toxin & Bane's venom transformed him into an exceptional Silver Age villain for the New 52.  'Course the real Penguin is not going to sit by and let his empire be stolen, and even if Ogilvy appears down for the count I'm betting Layman's got dastardly plans for his new creation.  I'm totally on board.

Hawkeye #10:  ITMOD favorite Francesco Francavilla stops by for a fill-in story surrounding the background of the killer Clown.  From what I've gathered we've never encountered this guy before but he certainly seems familiar.  And I'm still pissed about last issue's Grills finale.  Looks like Matt Fraction is building to some serious drama amongst all this lighthearted entertainment, and I'm happy to see the larger arc starting to form.  This issue sees another perspective on The Bros, and Kate Bishop takes more of the spotlight from Barton.  Sure, this is David Aja's book, but Francavilla is always a treat.  His art is a little in contrast to Aja's, but it's beautiful, colorful yet moody work.  He can fill in anytime.

Age of Ultron #7:  Logan & Sue Storm return from the Hank Pym murdered past to discover yet another age, but this one birthed from their own devious actions.  I've enjoyed this series pretty much from the beginning, but I certainly haven't loved it.  This is really the first issue that perked my alternative realities interest - one eyed Colonel America, Cyclops Cable, holey Ben Grimm,  Iron Man's armada - but I'm afraid they spent too much time in the first half reveling in the devastation and now that the book is getting crazy it's gonna rush a climax.  Only three issues left, a whole lotta story leftover.

Indestructible Hulk #7:  I'm still waiting for Mark Waid to kick ass on this book.  I was hoping the departure of "serious" artist Leinil Yu & the return of demi-god Walt Simonson would bring some much needed levity to the story.  As much fun as it was to see the "Hulk Worthy" last issue, the revelation of Thor's Mjolnir manipulation got a sad shrug outta this reader.  It's a fun enough tale, but it doesn't take the adventure to the next level the way Waid's Daredevil or his Rocketeer managed to do on a monthly basis.  So-so.

Iron Man #9:  God Dammit!  I'm still reading this crappy title!  If anything, this Week In Dork should prove to you that I can seriously love Tony Stark.  What Robert Downey Jr & company have proved is that Stark can be a fascinatingly flawed individual.  Through the years I have not followed every action of the Marvel Comics character, but I've enjoyed his tenure in Brian Michael Bendis' Avengers & I really liked what Mark Millar did with him in Civil War.  And since I've been loving Matt Fraction's work in Hawkeye & FF, I think it's time I devoured his Incredible Iron Man run.  But I gotta say, this Marvel Now Kieron Gillen incarnation is just the absolute pits.  Stark travels the Cosmos in search of Celestial killer 451, he teams up with the ridiculous Death's Head & avoids the Guardians of the Galaxy.  How does this all tie into "The Secret Origin of Tony Stark?"  SPOILERS if you care...Well, a robot knew his dad once.  Lame.  Gillen is dragging Tony all over the place with this book and maybe we're starting to discover an arc here, but I really don't care.  I've given you nine lukewarm months, Marvel.  And cuz I'm a sap and I want to love this character so damn much, I'm probably going to give you nine more.  I should vote with my dollars and drop this sucker, but I'm a dope - a fanboy, and I'm gonna keep reading and keep bitching until it gets worse or better.  God dammit!

Green Arrow #20:  Holy Cow, now this book is kick ass.  But unlike Iron Man I've never delved into the world of Oliver Queen before...well, there is that appearance in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns and I think I read Kevin Smith's short run some time back but I don't remember a dang thing about it.  As Fraction is doing in Hawkeye, writer Jeff Lemire is making me care for a character I once thought of as nothing more than a boring Robin Hood wannabe.  I still don't quite get Queen.  He's another rich playboy playing vigilante.  But Lemire is definitely putting this costumed hero through the wringer.  The purple archer Komodo is taking the good boy to task, beating, bashing, torturing his way to Oliver Queen's soul.  And then there's the mysterious starfish-eyed Magus.  What's his deal?  Mysterious seems to be equalling sinister, but we'll see.  And as violent as Lemire's script can be, artist Andrea Sorrentino's panels are just as vicious - selling the plight when the mystery is not enough.

Thor:  "It's a good look." This is the key film in Marvel's march towards The Avengers. Here we move beyond the "reality" of science based heroes (Iron Man, Hulk) and into the realm of batshit fantasy. If Thor had failed in its depictions of Asgard, Frost Giants, & Rainbow Bridges than The Mighty Myth would have remained an outcast of the super group. However, Kenneth Branagh and screenwriters Miller, Stentz, & Payne sell the insanity of such a universe with high adventure grounded in humor. Littlest pet shops, Renaissance Fair jabs, Asgardian butt shots. Not to mention Chris Hemsworth's smile. Those supernatural pearly whites are enough to make the manliest fanboys (as if those exist) swoon. And with the exception of a shoehorned Hawkeye, the S.H.I.E.L.D. presence feels organic to the script and Clark Gregg succeeds in bringing the band together. There are bits to quibble - budgetary constraints result in a claustrophobic small town setting with Asgard not getting its due, the climactic architectural devastation results with the wrong folks on the wrong sides, and it's more charm than Badass. But I'd also say that Thor is the one film post-Iron Man 1 and pre-Avengers that feels the most solid; it's certainly the only building block that could exist on its own. A shock given my original blase attitude towards the whacky classical icon's existence in the superhero realm.

Captain America - The First Avenger:  Probably the most frustrating film in the series, Captain America never quite sells its period setting or the grandness of its adventure. Still the first half of the film, the origin story, is a real corker. Chris Evans excels as scrawny Steve Rodgers, a kid sick of sitting on the sidelines as the global bully Adolf Hitler consumes the best of American youth. When Stanley Tucci's exiled scientist offers him a seat in his man machine, puny Steve Rodgers is evolved into the super human Captain America. There is heart in their conversations over good nature, and the film peaks with their final moment together. From that point in the film we get glimpses of iconic WWII battlescapes, and a series of tepid montages that tease rather than exhilarate. Monstrous CGI Tanks and a running stream of blue screens gives the entire proceedings an artificial taste, the threat of World War nothing more than a first person shooter. The Red Skull's Hydra hides the evil of the nazis, stripping the story of history as well as cinema's greatest villain, and diluting the triumph of our hero. When the two rivals finally meet in the unfriendly skies, their conflict is as satisfying as those montages. Quick. Fleeting. Just another link to The Avengers.

Photo Stolen from The Birchmere's Facebook Page.  Thanks.

John Hodgman @ The Birchmere:  I'm not a fan like The Wife, but I've always found "something" tremendously appealing about Hodgman's brand of humor.  He works the nerd crowd - hipstery, but you know, in a good way.  He comes on stage flashing his ridiculous amount of showbiz swag, taking pot shots at himself and the celebrity world he sometimes inhabits.  He makes references to Ayn Rand as quickly as he does Battlestar Galactica - flaunting his cred as wildly as he does his AWEsome mustache.  He's not a barrel-laughs kinda guy, but I found myself eating up the show with the rest of his crowd.  He's a goofball in the same vein as Jim Gaffigan, but instead of feeling the comfort of a fellow Hot Pockets devouring buffoon, I am fully aware listening to his comedy that this man is far smarter than I am.  But that can be a comfort too.  A level of nerdom to strive towards.

The Avengers:  "That's my secret Captain, I'm always angry." After a half dozen rewatches I have yet to tire of the comic book joy overflowing from the screen in this crowning achievement of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Years in the making, The Avengers is the Damn Yankees of Super Hero movies. Nothing quite like it has ever been attempted before, and thankfully this big beast succeeds where it surely could have floundered. Joss Whedon dips his pen into the Marvel U and scrawls the quintessential Avengers campaign. Two mad scientists, a super soldier, a god, and a couple of grunts. Toss them into a floating aircraft carrier and you're going to get a kerfuffle, especially when you've got Loki and his mind gem space stick influencing matters - that's the cliche done right. You've seen these beats before, but never executed so perfectly or with so much reverence to the source material. Is it just fan servicing? Probably. But dammit, I'm the fan here and I'm uncontrollably delighted when Iron Man bounces repulser beams off of Cap's shield or when Banner announces his control of The Hulk. And I absolutely dig the downfall of Tom Hiddleston's Loki. (SPOILERS folks, but why the hell haven't you seen this film already?) He may be the cock of the walk, but in the end he's just a whiney brat taken out by Hawkeye's arrow & the Hulk's smashing rage. A pawn in The Mad Titan's invasion of Earth. Thanos!?!?! What's next, Rocket Raccoon? Oh wait...

Free Comic Book Day:  Woke up too damn early on Saturday morning, but it's that time of year again! FCBD!!!!  Matt & I did our annual Comic Shop crawl through the Northern Virginia area.  First stop was Laughing Ogre (formerly Phoenix Comics & Toys) in Fairfax.  They had a serious line of kids, adults, & hipsters (the bad kind this time) waiting to get inside.  They also put up a three book limit - snagged Marvel's Infinity, 2000 AD's Judge Dredd, & the weak Snyder/Lee Superman Unchained preview.  A couple cosplayers lurked inside: Venom & Scarecrow were buddies, there was a Sharon Carter Agent 13, and Black Widow actually worked the counter.  Next on the crawl was Big Planet Comics in Vienna.  That's my shop.  And they're the best.  They allowed one of each of the Free Comic Book Day selections and I took them up on that promise.  Scored almost everything including Pippi Longstocking, Prince Valiant, and Marble Season.  Why the hell not, right?  Not as much cosplay here - a lone Winter Soldier guarded the entrance.  From there we went to the Laughing Ogre mothership is Sterling - things were dying down, upped their take to five books a customer.  No cosplay.  Then a late lunch break and a final trip out to Gainsville to Comics & Gaming.  They had a massive selection of Free Comics dating back several years.  Grabbed some Bone & Archies.  And, of course, along the way Matt & I made sure to support the local businesses; paying our hard earned cash for books like Jonathan Hickman's The Manhattan Project, Lincoln Washington Free Man, and Scott C's Double Fine Action Comics.  Overall, the Free Comic Book Day selections don't seem as strong as last year's but I have yet to really mull them over.  The free stuff is not really the point anyway.  It's about getting the rest of the world excited about funny books.  Haven't talked to my guys yet, but this year seemed to be a success.  Each store was hopping.  Hopefully some money was flowing their way too.

The Alamo Drafthouse DC:  And how do you perfectly cap off an amazing Free Comic Book Day?  Well, how about Iron Man 3 at the Grand Opening of Washington DC's very own Alamo Drafthouse!?!?!?!?  Hell to the yeah!...Ok...so it really wasn't the Grand Opening, we missed that by one afternoon.  And Alamo Drafthouse DC is actually Alamo Drafthouse Loudon, VA but semantics shmantics.  Nearly five years ago, I visited Austin's original Drafthouse for a screening of Spider-Man 3.  Whatever my opinion of that film I can at least say that they offered an amazing experience filled with specialized programming and delicious & deadly food.  I'm happy to report that The Alamo has been expertly transported to NOVA.  I totally dug the pre-show entertainment filled with classic (& not-so-classic) Iron Man cartoons, a weirdo Ben Kingsley Prada ad, the Don Cheadle Captain Planet Funny or Die video, and Robert Downey Jr's insane hut hut hut hut bark from god know's what movie.  The food was great.  Ordered a Royale w/Cheese & a Mexican Vanilla milkshake.  Rocked my tastebud world.  Sure, it takes a little getting used to all the servers dashing down the aisles, but once you do it's a blast to chow down on your burger while Tony Stark tinkers on screen.  And the No Talking/Texting mantra is seriously appreciated.  The Alamo Drafthouse has a reverence for cinema and its patrons drink the kool-aid.  Frankly, I'm not sure why I would want to see a movie anywhere else at this point.  They're gonna be getting a whole helluva lot of my business going forward.  But what about the flick in question....

Iron Man 3:  "Do you want an empty life?" After The Battle of New York (aka The Avengers), Tony Stark is a mess of stress and anxiety. He's an insomniac; what little sleep he does achieve is plagued with nightmares of wormholes & alien invaders. He spends the rest of his time tinkering in the basement, and alienating his all-too-understanding girlfriend. Shane Black takes the reigns from Jon Favreau and properly progresses the emotional chinks in Stark's armor - Robert Downey Jr is the master of character flaws and he brings the genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist to his logical breaking point in this third and most successful Iron Man entry. Really the only place to go after the apocalypse of The Avengers is inward - it's not go big or go home, it's take a beating and keep on ticking cinema. Stepping out of the silver age, Ben Kingsley's The Mandarin hates America & its fortune cookie lies, but the Marvel team cleverly sheds the yellow peril Fu Man Chu slander and makes room for Guy Pearce's demonic A.I.M CEO. Sam Rockwell's Justin Hammer might have been the funhouse mirror version of Tony Stark, but Pearce's Aldrich Killian is Stark's Anti-Christ. He doesn't quite steal the show from Kingsley's theatrics, but it's a pleasure to hate on Pearce. Iron Man 3 is not The Empire Strikes Back of the franchise. There is some serious brooding to help elevate the turmoil, but Shane Black puts in plenty of his patented banter. Whether he's bouncing off Happy Hogan, Gwyneth Paltrow, a bullied kid, or Don Cheadle, Tony Stark is scoring plenty of classic 80s chuckles. And speaking of Don Cheadle! His rebranded Iron Patriot finally gets some decent screentime, bracing his badass muscles and going back-to-back with Stark at the climax. He's earned a spot in Avengers 2 as far as I'm concerned, and I'm certainly ready for the next phase of Marvel: Thor 2, Cap 2, and the madness of The Guardians.  Bring it.

--Brad

A Fistful of Marvel Wannabes! (Brad's Picks)

Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe begins this weekend with the release of Shane Black's Iron Man 3.  It's a brave new world.  One that's going to include The Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, & Doctor Strange.  W.  T.  F.   Yes, 2014 is going to see Rocket Raccoon blast onto the big screen and if he's received well by the public than we might be entering an unstoppable black hole of super hero cinema.  Of course, that's a big "IF" and we may still be a long way off till a proper Howard The Duck adaptation.

Iron Man 3, Thor 2, Captain America 2, and Avengers 2 are sure fire successes.  But let's just say they're joined by The Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, & Dr. Strange.  Where do you go from there.  I say, let's get nuts.  Maybe we hold off a bit till we break out the D-Man blockbuster, but I've got a handful of other crazy characters I'd like to see get the Hollywood treatment.

5.  The Pet Avengers:  Yes, they exist.  When the Inhuman's teleporting dog Lockjaw acquires the Mind Gem from the all powerful Infinity Gauntlet, he gathers a colorful cadre of super pets to seek out the remaining gems while avoiding the terrifying violence of The Mad Titan, Thanos.  The team includes the X-Men confidant Lockheed, Speedball's feline counterpart Hairball, the central park Thunder amphibian Throg, the falcon Redwing, and Aunt May's Ms. Lion.  Special Guest Stars could include the Savage Land's Zabu, Bo the First Dog of the United States, and the Fantastic Four beastie Giganto.  Look, Disney needs to partner Marvel with Pixar.  It's just gotta happen.  DC Comics has had plenty of success with the Direct to DVD animated market, and even if we can't be granted the glory of Pixar, maybe we can get a solid cartoon out of the deal.

4.  Namor - The Submariner:  Since Captain America didn't quite capture the Nazi threat of WWII, let's travel back to the battlefields of the 1940s where Prince Namor can rise from the Earth's oceans to smash Hitler's blitzkrieg domination.  And the best thing about Namor is that when he's done crushing Nazis he's going to inevitably turn on the Allies.  After all his finest characteristic is his hatred and contempt for all land lovers, and through that anger we can get some delightful rage-filled social lecturing.  Once Adolf gets his Inglourious Basterds just deserts and Namor turns tidal waves upon our shores, the good old U S of A can unleash their Human Torch (of the android variety - never mind the flaming Fantastic Fourer) and the two titans of Marvel's Early Days can go mano y mano in a Kaiju-styled flattening of New York City.

3.  Hawkeye:  This is not a cheat.  As much as I love Joss Whedon's Avengers, Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye was easily the most disposable character in the film.  He spent most of the time under the control of Loki & when he finally got free from the pokey stick, Hawkeye spent the rest of the film looking stern as he shot arrows at jet skiing aliens.  The Hawkeye film I want to see stems directly from Matt Fraction & David Aja's current comic series.  Focus on the wannabe hero when he's not being an Avenger.  The guy who passes his time as super of an apartment building, fighting back the small time crime of the track suit mafia, and caring for a pizza scarfing dog.  The great thing about the Marvel Universe is that it can house multiple genres, even within the capes & masks.  Hawkeye is your 90s, quirky post Pulp Fiction crime tale a la 2 Days in the Valley.  And since Marvel doesn't shy away from recasting let's kick Renner outta the picture and bring in Ryan Gosling.  Hmmmm...while I'm dreaming why not bring back Shane Black from Iron Man 3 for the snarky buddy cop banter with teenage sidekick Kate Bishop.

2.  Devil Dinosaur:  Ok, this is just a fantasy.  But you know, before you start saying this will never happen remind yourself that ROCKET RACCOON! will soon be a theatrical reality - a talking raccoon from space who kills aliens with an array of laser rifles!!!!  Dammit, Devil Dinosaur & Moon Boy can happen!  This is not an animated film.  I want a dark, brooding, dead serious Quest For Fire saga.  Sure, that's not really what we got in the original nine issues from Jack Kirby, but I've been on a 2001 kick lately and it's got me craving the savagery of ape men.  Devil Dinosaur could sate that thirst, a boy & his dog story in which DD & Moon Boy go up against the warring clan of the Killer-Folk.  This is goofy stuff, but with Pacific Rim nearly upon us & and a new Godzilla on the horizon, I want Marvel to contribute their Monster Mash movie.

1.  Luke Cage:  Marvel's somewhat pathetic attempt to cash in on the Blaxploitation phenomenon eventually yielded one of their most endearing characters thanks to Brian Michael Bendis's exploration in the pages of Alias & New Avengers.  You look at that picture above and you see a goofy dude in disco duds fighting a ridiculous atomic abomination.  But the Luke Cage film should be a brutal, mean-spirited crime flick.  Think Chinatown PI plot with a 70s Hell Up In Harlem backdrop, and a neighborhood gang war poisoning the citizens with sex & drugs.  Luke Cage encounters some small time crime that leads to Kingpin conspiracies and eventual street fighter showdowns.  Fred Williamson is a few decades too old , but I'm thinking Michael Jai White can shake the comedy of Black Dynamite and step into the real deal.

--Brad

A Fistful of Summer Anticipation 2013! (Brad's Picks)

April is coming to a close and another big, flashy Marvel movie is on the horizon.  You know what that means?  Summer is here!  And frankly, it's been a long dull build to the popcorn season.  I've seen 31 new movies this year, and the best I can say is that most of them have been "pretty good."  But the idea that my favorite film of the year so far is Steven Soderbergh's Side Effects is utterly baffling.  Don't get me wrong, I love that movie, but at least 2012 had The Grey, The Raid, Cabin in the Woods, & 21 Jump Street by this point.  I'm starting to get a little nervous that 2013 is shaping up to be an even more lackluster year in cinema.  But before I jump on board the boo-hoo-choo-choo, I gotta state that I'm pretty damn excited for the upcoming offerings.  My brain is in a happy place as far as movies are concerned.  Maybe it's the Martin Scorsese-a-thon I'm currently at the start of, or my dip into the well of Roger Ebert's The Great Movies, or my recent feast on the Django Unchained blu ray - whatever it is, I am craving the big budget entertainment storming towards us.

Yes!  Even the undoubtable garbage brewing from the depths of Hollywood.  I am excited for White House Down - now, not to the point where it's going to make my Top 5 list, but I just want to demonstrate the headspace my brain is currently occupying.  Roland Emmerich has made another movie.  The man who brought us the abominations of Matthew Broderick's Godzilla and the cgi snooze of 10,000 BC has partnered Channing Tatum's buff Secret Agent Man with Jaime Foxx's brainy POTUS.  That Django & Jenko buddy cop combo is incredibly appealing and I'm genuinely enthused to see those two PG-13ing the hell outta the Flag Burning Scum invading my home town.  I expect much tearful violence as monuments fall and terrorists get shot.

So if I'm even a little excited for White House Down, than I am absolutely climbing the walls for Zach Snyder's Man of Steel.  I can't say that I'm the biggest Superman fan -  I enjoyed the first two Christopher Reeve flicks like the rest of the universe, and I even enjoyed Bryan Singer's pornographically nostalgic take on the character.  But despite a few trips into the comic books (no one my age missed The Death of Superman, I enjoyed Jeph Loeb & Tim Sales' Superman For All Seasons, & I certainly adore Grant Morriosn & Frank Quietly's All Star Superman) I really know nothing about the character.  As IGN's Keeping It Reel revealed, he's Jesus Christ With Super Powers (and a cape).  Flys around.  Saves people.  Punches aliens in the face.  So give me that.  Less pining for humanity, and more punch 'em ups.  Zach Snyder is the perfect guy for the job.  I've enjoyed all of his films (with the exception of the painfully dull Sucker Punch) and I think he's going to deliver the action film this character so desperately needs right now.

Yet, Man of Steel does not make the cut.  There are still dozens of movies I want to see more this summer than Kal-El's big screen return.  We've got Fast & Furious 6 promising even more mind boggling stunts than the previous mondo gonzo Fast Five.  The music video orgy of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby.  The CGI tumbling of Brad Pitt's doomed World War Z adaptation.  The World's End reteams the comic geniuses of Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, & Nick Frost for what should be the best Apocalypse on screen this summer even if James Franco & pals are determined to yuck it up with This Is The End.  And then we have The Lone Ranger.  A film I want so desperately to be entertaining, but everything I'm seeing from the trailers tells me other wise.  I want big Cowboy Westerns to attract audiences.  I want that genre to reign supreme again.  Gore Virbinski & Johnny Depp certainly seem to want the same thing, but is this more goof than cool?  I'm thinking so.  And I'm afraid it's gonna John Carter all over the box office.

So, those are the films I'm stoked for, but what are the films I'm wetting myself in uncontainable joy to see?  Drumroll please....

5.  Iron Man 3:  I enjoy the first two Iron Man films just fine.  The first flick is a solid comic book origin story that succeeds solely on the undeniably charming performance of Robert Downey Jr.  The second film buckles a bit under the weight of the world building conducted by Marvel Studios, but there is more good than bad.  But there are at least two reasons why Iron Man 3 hits my Anticipation List over the previous flicks mentioned.  1) It's the first sequel to Joss Whedon's The Avengers aka my 2nd favorite film of last year.  That flick threw down the gauntlet.  All other super hero films are going to be judged by the Comic Book bliss elicited from the Cap/Iron Man/Thor/Hulk team-up.   Where can you possibly go with a solo picture?  2) Shane Black at the helm.  Jon Favreau is a good director.  He deserves all the props given to him for the establishment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  But Shane Black has a deeply dark wit in his pen (Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout) and his directorial debut (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) proved that he knows the secret to Robert Downey's success and he's a visual stylist to boot.  Next Friday can't get here soon enough.

4.  Elysium:  Neil Blomkamp's District 9 is one of my favorite films of the last ten years.  That alone would put his follow-up on the list.  The fact that we're getting another socially conscious science-fiction film in which horrible violence gets bestowed upon Matt Damon's exoskeleton by Cyborg Samurai Sharlto Copley makes is just icing on the cake.  From everything I've heard the little we've seen in the first trailer just scratches the surface of the screenplay, and I'm going to do my darndest not to have much more spoiled.  And, yeah, William Fichtner also co-stars.  Hells to the yeah.

3.  Star Trek Into Darkness:  There is a lot of dread mixed into the anticipation with this one.  But that's no different than when JJ Abrams' 2009 sequel hit.  Do I want another Kirk vs. Bad Guy movie?  Not really.  Especially if it's a Khan spin-off/knock-off.  I'm with Matt.  I'd like more exploration in my Trek.  But the last trailer for Into Darkness struck me hard.  Bruce Greenwood: "I believe in you, Jim" & Kirk turning to crew "I'm sorry."  That hit a chord.  The big mysterious Federation ship.  Interesting. Peter Weller's jackass admiral.  Ok.  Klingons with crazy helmets.  Yeah, I can dig it.  As long as they get the relationships right amongst the Enterprise's crew, I'll be perfectly happy with another action Star Trek with a massive budget.  But I'm also hoping I'll be more than "happy."  Again, the 2009 Star Trek really did pluck all the right Trekkie heartstrings and I'm hopeful Into Darkness will do the same thing.

2.  Pacific Rim:  It has been nearly five years since Guillermo Del Toro directed a movie, and that was Hellboy II - one of the most disappointing experiences I've had in a theater.  But whatever unfortunate adaptation choices that film suffered under, I can at least say that The Golden Army looked beautiful and is one of the finest examples of blending between practical & digital effects.  And if you take that film out of Del Toro's cannon (& chunks of Mimic), than I've thoroughly enjoyed everything the man touches - yes, even & maybe especially, Secondhand Lions (he has a Special Thanks credit).  What footage I saw at last year's Comic Con immediately restored my faith in Del Toro, but I also don't want my enthusiasm to run away from me - after all, Prometheus looked abso-lutely-freaking-amazing at Hall H in 2011.  Still, Giant Robots vs. Hulking Kaiju!!!!!!!  Yes!!!!!!!!  At the very least it's gotta be better than Robot Jox and I love that crap film.

1.  Only God Forgives:  Just watch the trailer.  Thai Boxing.  Sword Wielding Gangsters.  Karaoke.  Uzi Drive-Bys.  Chopstick Impalements.  Kristen Scott Thomas Terminator.  And Ryan Gosling's Clenched Fists.  I might not have realized it a few months ago, but Only God Forgives contains everything I've ever wanted to see on screen.  Gosling & director Nicholas Winding Refn understand my base desires and they deliver them with slick, cold, style.  My prediction is that this film ranks of my absolute favorites come Awards time, and I would not be surprised if this ends up my favorite film of 2013.

--Brad