Dork Art: Parker Hits Toronto

Just spotted this over at Almost Darwyn Cooke's Blog.  This original poster print will be available at TCAF this weekend, along with several special editions of Cooke's Parker comics.  The release party is meant as a preview for IDW's relaunch of the Richard Stark novels.  As much as I love the Graphic Novel adaptations, even a master like Cooke can't quite equal the succinct brutality of Donald Westlake's writing.  The Hunter remains one of the great works of crime fiction, and even though I love to see fanboys raving over the comics, it's frustrating to see so few of them bother with the original books.  The University of Chicago Press trade paperbacks are wonderful, but these gorgeously illustrated (again, by Cooke) hardcover novels from IDW will hopefully drag some of these geeks to the hardboiled prose.  If you can't make TCAF this weekend (like me & most of the world) the new Hunter hardcover will hit the shelves June 10th for 29.99.

--Brad

A Fistful of Parkers! (Brad's Picks)

This weekend sees the release of my first Highly Anticipated movie of 2013, Taylor Hackford's Parker.  Everything I've seen from the trailers leads me to believe that this is not going to be the Richard Stark film I want it to be, but blah blah blah.  You're tired of me bitching and moaning about this adaptation.  And ya know what, that above photo is killer.  That one still is worth fifty shoddy J Lo trailers.  Still, Parker's Rules...yeash.  If you want to know what code Donald Westlake's professional crook actually lived by than you should jump on over to the University of Chicago's new 50 Years of Parker website and discover the truth behind literature's hardest lowlife.

What gives me the biggest pause when watching the Parker trailers though, is that this is the first film actually allowed usage of the character's real name.  Adaptations in the past have used Walker (Point Blank), Porter (Payback), Macklin (The Outfit), McClain (The Split), Nelson (Made in U.S.A.), and Stone (Slayground).  But Donald Westlake wouldn't allow filmmakers the name Parker unless they committed to a series of adaptations.  But now that the man has shuffled off this earthly plane, his estate has sold off "Parker."  And that's cool.  Family's gotta eat.  I just hope that Taylor Hackford and the producers realize what a treat they've been given - and I really don't want them to squander it.

So all this raging over a silly name got me thinking.  There are already a lot of Parkers occupying the movie landscape.  You've got gangster moll Bonnie Parker, Marty McFly's time traveling honey Jennifer Parker, the jazzy genius of Charlie Parker, and even lost TV classic Parker Lewis Can't Loose.  But who are the greatest characters to rock that handle?  Agree or don't, these are my favorite silver screen Parkers.

5.  Kristen Parker (A Nightmare on Elm Street III & IV):  The Nightmare franchise has three true heroines.  Heather Langenkamp is obviously the most recognizable as first final girl, Nancy.  Then you've got Lisa Wilcox as preggers Alice Johnson.  But if I'm gonna get real, my favorite bit of Freddy bait is Patricia Arquette as Dream Warrior whackjob Kristen Parker.  Her character would return as nightmare fodder for the fourth film, but in the third Nightmare flick, this Parker transformed her teenaged crazybrains into a Freddy Krueger meat grinder and managed to steal the saga from poor little Nancy.  Plus, try as he might, Freddy couldn't swallow this tough (albeit whiney & screamy) chick.

4.  Leonard Parker (Leonard Part 6):  Truth be told, I haven't seen this flick in years.  But it certainly left an impression.  Bill Cosby is a secret agent pulled out of retirement to battle bird beasties and killer lobsters.  All he has is a nifty getup and few sticks of delicious butter.  I remember seeing this in the theater in 1987 and my little kid brain just couldn't understand the weird.  And I remember my mother explaining to me how horrible the film truly was...yeah, I think this is gonna have to get Netflixed soon.

3.  John Parker (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension):  When villainous red aliens from the planet 10 escape the prison of Dimension 8, Rock & Roll Scientist Buckaroo Banzai and his badass regulators are the only hope for our tiny blue planet.  And a key member of Buck's Band of Heroes is John Parker, a nice guy alien with superior wall hopping skills and space born knowledge. I'm still waiting for that spin-off movie where Buck & Parker take on the World Crime League.  Make it happen, Hollywood.

2.  Peter Parker (Spider-Man):  It seems pretty fashionable to beat up on Sam Raimi's Spider-Man these days.  But as fidgety and awkward as Andrew Garfield is as The Amazing Skateboarder-Man, Toby Maguire's Peter Parker felt like a real outsider nerd.  He had a doughy, blank stare that perfectly replicated the woe-is-me center to pre-spider bite Parker.  It's a mope factor essential to the character; you can't have the superior wall crawler without that deep seeded self loathing.  And Raimi's first Spider-Man captured that loser complexion perfectly.

1.  Parker (Alien):  The first time I watched Alien, I thought it was Yaphet Kotto's movie.  As members of the Nostromo were picked off by H.R. Giger's star beast, and as Veronica Cartwright looses her shit & Sigourney Weaver turns hard, I thought it was Kotto's Parker that was going to rise to the occasion and flame thrower the hell outta the monster.  Unfortunately (for Yaphet) the movie doesn't play out that way, and cinema is granted it's first ever female ass kicker.  But despite the brilliant character twists and turns of Ridley Scott's masterpiece, I still root for Parker to come out on top every time.  His relationship with Harry Dean Stanton sells the space trucker reality of the story, and I am compelled to dream of an alternate Fringe universe where the film devolves into a Parker revenge narrative - credits roll as Yaphet Kotto sits smiling atop the acid filled corpse of the Alien.  One can dream.

Walker Is Still My Parker

--Brad

Parker Movie Trailer Infuriates

Yep.  I'm gonna hate this movie.  I want to quell my troll rage but I just can't.  Donald Westlake is dead.  Hollywood now has its first opprotunity to use the "Parker" name and not just a stand-in (Walker in Point Blank, Porter in Payback) and they completely F Up the character.  "Civilized people need to follow rules" my ass.  Parker is a sociopath, not Robin Hood.  And the unstoppable Jennifer Lopez romance--so damn infuriating.

Now, take away my love for the Richard Stark novels and I might be able to see some quality in this new Statham venture.  But my dorkdom won't let me be happy here.  I'm not just annoyed, I'm fucking sad.  Sigh.  Get over yourself, Brad.  You've still got the Darwyn Cooke comics.  Outside of the actual Stark novels, those are pretty damn perfect.  And maybe one day we'll get that Michael Shannon Parker flick.



--Brad

The Parker Poster Is Here...

Sigh.  Been a few months since we've gotten any word on this flick, but there you are ladies and germs--The first official poster for Taylor Hackford's Parker film courtesy of IGN.  And it makes me all kinds of sad.  I love Jason Statham.  And with the right screenplay and the right director I might even forget what a poor choice he is for Richard Stark's Parker. After all, it's not like Lee Marvin was the perfect choice to portray him for John Boorman's mad Point Blank - he just made it work.  But this poster?  It's so damn bland.  "To Get Away Clean, You Have To Play Dirty."  Give me a freaking break.  Who knows, maybe there's a hard film behind this photoshop travesty but I'm guessing this January getaway is gonna be just another pathetic pretender to the thrown.  A trailer should be hitting the net any day now, so we'll just have to wait and see.

--Brad

Dork Art: Lee Marvin's Kung Fu Grip

Two years ago, the mad blogger known as Howard Hallis constructed this amazing Lee Marvin custom action figure of Walker from Point Blank.  Two days ago I did a double feature of Prime Cut & Point Blank and I'm obsessed with Lee Marvin again.  His Walker might not be the perfect version of Richard Stark's Parker but Point Blank is still far & way the best adaption from those wonderful novels so far.  Again, fingers crossed on this Jason Statham business but the doubts have firmly set in on that venture.

And since watching Point Blank I've been doing my usual internet trolling for the perfect Walker/Lee Marvin art and I've found a couple of extra bits of hardass joy.

Hunting for Walker art and stumbling upon more Jason Statham as Parker set photos got my brain a cranking again on who I would cast as Parker if given the chance.  I know I've stated Mark Valley, John Hamm, and Clive Owen in the past.  But an idea just struck me--how 'bout Michael Shannon!  That guy definitely can fill the shoes of Parker's brutish side.  Before he looses his way in Boardwalk Empire, Shannon shows a lot of promise of Parker's no-nonsense kinda crime work.  And he's got the perfect Jack Palancey sorta mug for pre-Getaway Face Parker.

So maybe after Shannon goes Zod on us in Man of Steel and Jason Statham's cowboy Parker gets America to go Richard Stark raving mad than we'll be granted with another Shannonriffic Parker/Walker/Porter/Whatever.  Yeah, as if.

--Brad

Parker: Jason Statham Set Photos & Art

There he is ladies and gentlemen, Jason Statham's Parker.  In a cowboy hat.  These set photos have been floating around the internet since late last year, but this is the first I've seen of them.  First reaction, I do love seeing Jason Statham in a cowboy hat.  I do not love seeing Parker in a cowboy hat.  And yeah, I think I've already made up my mind that this is not my Parker movie and that's probably a terrible outlook, but I guess I'm just one of those internet fanboy ragers whining about fictional stuff without ever seeing a single trailer let alone the actual movie.  And that's something about myself that just annoys me. Still....GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I WANT THIS MOVIE TO BE GOOOOOOOOOOOD!  I want it too much.  And again, Taylor Hackford has yet to direct anything that's really impressed me.

The first film to use Parker's actual name, and based upon Richard Stark's Flashfire, IMDB has this to say about the storyline "When Parker turns down a job offer to pull off a jewel heist, he narrowly escapes with his life. He then teams up with a female real estate agent who is familiar with the local town and has nothing to lose to find the target of the heist so they can steal the loot for themselves."  With a cast that include Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Clifton Collins Jr, Nick Nolte, and Wendall Pierce I'm sure we're going to get a perfectly serviceable film.

But I gotta keep reminding myself that Jennifer Lopez was really good in Out of Sight.  She may be an American Idol judge now and the costar of Gigli, but she has been capable of good stuff in the past.  Must Remember Money Train!...hey, I like that flick!

BONUS PARKER ART:

Darwyn Cooke 

Joe Bowen

Gabrielle Hardman              Kelly Tindall

 Blinky Pitz

Shonborn                     Kyle Latino

Brad

Dork Art: The Score Cover

The Violent World of Parker site revealed the cover of Darwyn Cooke's upcoming third installment in his Richard Stark Parker adaptations, The Score.  His Hunter cover is still my favorite but this is a close second.  Still not my favorite book in the series, but I can see this lending perfectly to Cooke's sensibilities.  And it will be fun seeing comic book Parker finally getting to interact with a large group of hoods.  The Score will be out May 29th.

--Brad

Darwyn Cooke's The Score

Just minutes ago I finished the beautifully slipcased and rather pricey Parker Martini Edition containing both Darwyn Cooke's adaptations of Richard Stark's The Hunter & The Outfit as well as a short, teeny-tiny take on the climax of The Seventh.  And I'm riding high on crime.  I immediately started scouring the internet for word on Cooke's next Parker adaptation and found the above promo poster for The Score over at The Violent World of Parker.  Supposedly, the next book will be hitting the shelves in May.  I know 2012 just started, but we need to hurry on up to that release date.

The Score is a solid entry in the Parker cannon, but even though Cooke seems particularly fond of that novel I would have preferred a more in-depth adaptation of The Seventh, The Handle, or even The Jugger.  Apparently, the plan is to hit up Slayground after The Score so I gotta hurry up with my own Richard Stark reading.  Last year I stalled out on The Black Ice Score...gotta correct that immediately.

--Brad

Parker: The Martini Edition is Almost Here

Good News!  Darwyn Cooke and IDW's Deluxe Martini Edition of the Parker graphic novels is almost here! In fact, just last weekend at the Long Beach Comic Con, Cooke unveiled a special collector's slipcase edition along with a limited edition (only 200) print (the very bottom image).  Over on his blog, he also revealed two stunning bits of art depicting the Lee Marvin incarnation of Parker (as Walker in Point Blank) and the Jim Brown (as McClain in The Split).  I would pretty much kill for that Lee Marvin image above.

--Brad

Dork Art: Grofield Reprints

Since the University of Chicago Press has been having so much success with Richard Stark's Parker series they've decided to publish Stark's Alan Grofield novels as well.  Grofield made his first appearence in the Parker book, The Score and went on to guest star in a few others.  I've never read these solo books, but my understanding is they lack the bitter edge of the brilliant Parker series.  I'm still working my way through the Parkers, I'm on The Black Ice Score but haven't picked it up in quite a while.  Don't want to speed through them--gotta make them last.

Anyway, Chicago Press hired designer David Drummond to continue his good work with the Grofield covers.  I dig em.  What ya think?

--Brad

Dork Art: Hard Case Crime

Yowza!  When Hard Case Crime fled Dorchester Publishing I was worried that their brilliant pulp revival would come to an end.  Well, today at Barnes & Noble I purchased their new Trade Paperback edition (looks like they're not doing straight-to-mass markets anymore) of Donald Westlake's Somebody Owes Me Money.  When I got home I jumped over to their website to look at the rest of their publishing schedule.  That's where I discovered the amazing art seen above.  Again, Yowza!  They've had some nice saucy covers in the past, but that one absolutely takes the cake.  When am I gonna get some Hard Case Crime posters?

--Brad

Parker: Payback vs. Payback

VS.  

The 1999 theatrical release of Payback came and went without hardly a notice from this film fan.  I know that I saw it in the theater.  And I know that I thought it was "okay."  But in February of '99, I was 19 years old, and was probably more interested in offbeat horror flicks like Ravenous or the mondo genius of Being John Malkovich.  At the time I had no idea who Richard Stark or Donald Westlake was and I had only seen a smattering of films made before the 1980s.  Lee Marvin was a god to come; Mel Gibson had just lost his cool cred' with the abismal Lethal Weapon 4 and with Payback I was probably hoping for a return to action badassery.

The Payback theatrical cut is not a bad movie.  But...if you've never read The Hunter than the film will probably not stir a single serious emotion in your mind or body.  A solid, crime revenge film that doesn't really differentiate itself from a dozen other crime revenge films.  Mel Gibson is Porter.  Shot, left for dead.  On his belly with a back alley doctor clawing bullets out his back; a thin narration lets you know its all about the Seventy grand and maybe a little retribution if can score it.

Mel Gibson is a solid Parker (Porter).  As writer/Director Brian Helgeland says during a DVD extra, "You get Mel cuz Humphrey Bogart is dead."  He has that charming scumbag quality that Bogart displays in flicks like The Petrified Forest.  They say and do terrible things and you love them for that.  When Porter puts a pillow over a defeated colleague's face and pops a few rounds through, you crack a smile if not cheer outright. 

Payback has a taste of Richard Stark's novel and a taste of John Boorman's Point Blank, but Mel Gibson is never quite as cold as Parker or as angry vicious as Lee Marvin's Walker. There's too much heart in Porter. He's definitely pissed that his wife shot him in the back. And he totally wants to kill Val (not Mal like the book) for the double-cross, but he shows too much heart for Maria Bello's Rosie and he's missing that calculating distance.  Plus, you have that awful narration completely betraying the intelligence and the code of Parker, and if you've read the books than you're tearing at your scalp every time the inner monologue starts.  

Now, fastfoward seven years and Warner Brothers & producer Mel Gibson throw more cash into Payback and allow Helgeland back into the editing room.  See, in 1999 WB didn't understand or want the violent world of Porter; what they wanted was a quirky, post-QT/Lock Stock ironic crime action picture.  After a few test screenings, they fired Helgeland and hired Paul Abascal for ten days of reshoots completely altering the tone and rewriting the climax with this goofy, stupid Kris Kristofferson offspring kidnapping bit.

Watching the Payback: Straight Up Edition blu ray is a shocking, revelatory experience.  I have seen plenty of Director Cuts in my time (Blade Runner, Aliens, Superman II, Watchmen, etc), but I have never seen a director's cut that radically alters the movie as much as this one.  It's a totally different film with a completely different 30 minute climax and a much more vicious Porter.

Gone is the silly, very 90s blue bleached bypass print.  Gone is the horribly stupid narration.  Most of the quippy humor has been stripped from the script.  But most importantly, Parker's cold, mechanical rage has been restored.  

The film opens proper.  A new quote runs red over black, "principle n 1:  one's own rule or code of conduct or devotion to such a code."  Porter marches across the George Washington Bridge, bloody betrayal boils underneath.  He still steals the bums money, pulls the right cons to get him back on his feet.  But the whole vibe is different.  Chris Boardman's score has been completely replaced by the quiet cool of Scott Stambler.  Porter still door kicks Deborah Kara Unger, but it's not just a sudden burst of anger.  It's a seething anger.  It's almost Lee Marvin angry.  No punchers or knives or irons pulled.  

And No Kris Kristofferson and his god awful, horny son!!!  Yes!  In fact, Bronson doesn't even show up in Helgeland's cut; nope The Outfit's matriarch only appears as a voice seeping through a speaker.  Porter has to settle on proper low rent criminals like Greg Henry, William Devane, and James Coburn to beat and torture. 

The Straight Up Edition, miraculously (yep, it had to be divine intervention!), reveals a nearly spot-on adaptation of Richard Stark's The Hunter.  It's not perfect (again, that would be the Darwyn Cooke graphic novel), but the professional and amoral brilliance of Parker has been re-edited into Mel Gibson's Porter.  And, yes, we can now finally Root for the Bad Guy.

--Brad