Head on over to Slash Film for a nifty little interview with Mondo artist Tyler Stout. There he discusses his new gallery show as well as the two prints seen above. The Drive image is cool, but the Attack The Block is astonishing. It's been too long since I've watched that flick; seriously needs a revisit.
Okay, I probably found this more funny than I should have but there ya go. Cope and Dalton point their special blend of creepy at this year's 84th Academy Awards and they're depiction of Sad George Clooney had me full on belly laughing. Matt was near by and he just looked at me like I was crazy. And then Ryan Gosling has his final word and I lost my mind.
I watched a bunch of movies. The end. Seriously, I don't even know how I cranked in as many films as I did since it felt like I lived at my dayjob all week long. It helps having an AMC megaplex next to my work, and I kept popping inside to escape the Black Friday pepper spray terror and sooth my frantic mind.
MOVIES OF THE WEEK!
A Very Haorld & Kumar 3D Christmas: Probably some of the most fun 3Dsploitation I've seen in a while (I'm getting tired of the oh-so-serious James Cameron approach to the gimmick--Bring Back JAWS 3D!!!), A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is a solid sequel to the buddy stoner franchise and proves that John Cho & Kal Penn still have that silly/stupid chemistry discovered in the original film. That being said, the laughs are chuckles at best and the film made for a better trailer than it did movie. And as always, more NPH please.
Iron Man: I love Tony Stark! Correction, I love Robert Downey Jr's Tony Stark. We might not have known it at the time (how could we, who outside of the comic shop longboxes really gave a rat's tail about Iron Man before 2008?), but Tony Stark was the character we were all craving for Downey to sink his trainwrecked teeth into. The man captures Stark's ego, his super ego, and his SUPER SUPER EGO perfectly and you love him for it! He's just so bloody charming! But what of the rest of the film? It's not bad. It's pretty good. But it's a rather basic origin story. And Jeff Bridges, who I generally love and even think looks kinda badass here as well, his baddie is rather boring. And the mech on mech climax is just as boring. Still, Robert Downey Jr. is awesome and he's all you need to put butts in the seat.
The Incredible Hulk: Call me crazy, but I love Ang Lee's Shakespearean take on HULK. And I think it's far superior to the Marvel Studios version. That being said, Ed Norton is a great Bill Bixby Banner. Even Tim Roth makes for a fine Abomination and I love their "Hulk Smash" final smackdown. Even William Hurt is a decent General Ross. But I'm definitely not a fan of Liv Tyler's Betty and the film nearly drags to a halt at the halfway point. A solid leadup to next year's Avengers madness, but it's easily my least favorite entry in the new Marvel saga.
Iron Man II: "I am Iron Man." With this climactic bit of narcissism from the last film, Tony Stark propels himself down a rabbit hole lined with booze, debauchery, and self-hate. But don't worry, nobody can make you love an a-hole like Robert Downey Jr. And there's lots of mythology building occurring (maybe too much). Sam Rockwell's anti-Stark, Justin Hammer nearly steals the show with his Snidely Whiplash grimaces, his frustrated hand wringing, and back-stabbing rage. His partner-in-war crime, Mickey Rourke is UGLY, tattered, and pumped with evil genius Super Hate. The Avengers Initiative franchise gets closer to reality with S.H.I.E.L.D's Clark Gregg and one eye badass Samuel L. Jackson sneaking around the fringes. Really, the only bits that don't quite work are Don Cheadle's War Machine who surprisingly seems to channel Terrance Howard's original crap acting. And ScarJo is dull, dull, dull as the Black Widow; she's given one thigh crushing action scene toward the end, but she feels completely pointless within the meandering narrative. Still, this is a solid Summer Blockbuster sequel. And I just LOVE Robert Downey Jr's ego-nightmare Stark.
Thor: Just completed my third viewing of the film and I'm still amazed that Marvel was able to make a decent flick outta Marvel's whack-o comic book take on Norse mythology. Chris Hemsworth is amazing as Thor, and I don't think I'll ever be able to think of the character again without seeing his cocky, grinning mug. The film is more comedic than any of the other Marvel Studios flicks and I think that was necessary to sell the character; the fish-outta-water New Mexico stuff is a riot and even though I would have enjoyed more of Asgard I'm happy with what we got. And yeah, the Destroyer/Loki fight climax is a bit of a whimper, but the Destroyer is still pretty badass. So yeah, maybe Thor was never the Avenger movie I was craving for but it's good enough.
Captain America The First Avenger: After blitzing through 12 hours of Marvel Studios movies in one day, I can honestly say that Captain America: The First Avenger is my favorite of the bunch. Yes, the climax of the film wraps up far too neatly and the writers/producers drive to get the character into next Summer's Avengers blockbuster is incredibly forced--BUT! The first two thirds of the film, the birth of the Captain from good-hearted, scrawny Steve Rodgers is as beautiful as Super Hero stories get. Chris Evans is brilliant in the role. You fall for him. You're proud of him. And a lot of credit has to go to Stanley Tucci as Dr. Erskine; he finds the hero in the kid and reveals him to the audience. Just great. Hugo's Red Skull is fun but he's barely there -- as are the Howling Commandos. And there is at least one montage too many. But this is just a whole lotta Popcorn entertainment.
Immortals: The Gods of Olympus tower over man; Zeus, in awe of one particular human, touches the growth of bastard slave Theseus wearing the face of John Hurt. Mickey Rourke's gargantuan barbarian King Hyperion marches towards world devastation. A clash of good vs. evil photographed with MTV enthusiasm, and splashed with plenty of CGI blood. I'm still not sure what to make of director Tarsem Singh, his Cell was a boring mess of serial killer banality, but The Fall showed great stylistic whimsy. And Immortals is a savage, but enthusiastic actioner take on Greek myths that would have totally made ten year old Brad lose his mind for the classics.
Spy Kids 4: It's been a while, but I remember Robert Rodriguez's first two Spy Kids films having a serious dose of childish, somewhat farty intelligence. But this latest outing in the decade old franchise is a true embarrassment. I was pretty much lost from the opening scene; watching a full blown pregnant Jessica Alba zip lining through an action sequence as her water breaks...I'm just thankful I didn't attend one of those aroma-scope theatrical experiences. And the film is just NOT FUNNY! From Ricky Gervais talking, butt-bombing dog to Joel McHale's well-quaffed Spy Hunter--the jokes fall flat. Robert Rodriguez seriously needs to make a good movie, and soon.
12 Angry Men: "Let me ask you something? Do you believe his story?" 12 Angry Men is a Great American Movie. A movie that we should watch every 4th of July. 12 jurors sit around a table, ready to condemn a man to the electric chair. One man, Henry Fonda's Juror #8, not ready to life sentence an 18 year old votes "Not Guilty" only to open the forum to debate. What follows is some of the most compelling arguments in cinema--there is more tension here than in fifty Michael Bay Blockbuster explosions. Sidney Lumet and his 12 actors just knock the play outta the park and I dare anyone to watch this film and not be deeply moved.
Modern Romance: A very squirmy Albert Brooks comedy (is there any other kind?) depicting the tumultuous relationship between a Hollywood editor and his way-too-hot for him girlfriend. The script is excellent and incredibly engaging in the sense that every five seconds I'm shouting at the screen for this couple to "Break The Hell Up!" but at the end of the day even smart romantic (?) comedies hold very little appeal. My favorite segments of the film revolve around Brooks' day job, cutting scenes of a Cormanesque space picture starring George Kennedy and directed by Simpsons' guru James L Brooks.
Firecracker: There are moments in Firecracker that make the film an absolute must-see for cheap karate genre die hards. The opening mustache man impaling. The creepy, weird slicing of clothes sex scene. The topless karate fight. The everyone is kung fu fighting reality--seriously, there are people in this film who have No Business knowing karate kicking some serious random ass. The eye socket attack climax. But there is also a lot of meh to wade through as well. And an hour and 23 minutes shouldn't feel this long.
The Muppets: "Am I A Maaaaaaannnnnnn? Or Am I a Muppet?" Brothers Gary (Jason Segel) and Walter (voiced by Peter Linz) must eventually answer that question and their journey to revelation is a smorgasbord of joyous Jim Henson idol worship. I did not spend my childhood as a Muppet maniac (I was a casual observer of the show and the only previous film I had seen was Take Manhattan), but this latest entry in their saga is a true hoot. Yes, there's plenty of self-love on display, but the in-jokes play on their own as much as they nudge-nudge, wink wink. Kudos to Segel for his triple threat of producing, writing, and acting--the man got to the heart of the characters and made the audience embrace the rainbow connection.
Too Hot To Handle: The third slot in the recent Shout Factory Roger Corman Cult Classics Lethal Ladies Collection (that's a lot to cram into the title), Too Hot To Handle is a fairly weak entry in the Naked Lady in the Philippines subgenre; Cheri Caffaro supplies plenty of T & A but she's unpleasantly harsh when she should simply be badass. There are some solid explosions, some entertainingly goofy assassinations, and lots and lots of split screens, but not enough make you give a damn.
Well, I finally went completely Ape this weekend and I had a blast with my Planet of the Apes box set. Really, I have to thank my co-dork Matt for turning me into a complete Ape-Freak cuz before his Hest Fests I was only a PotA fan. I'd seen the original film and the God Awful Tim Burton remake, but I had never known the glories of Conquest until Matt came around and opened my eyes to those wonderful sequel films. So, thank you Matt.
And yeah, you'll see that I saw the new Twilight flick this week. I'd like to say I was dragged to the theater by my wife, but I went willingly. Wow, it's a steaming pile but it's no worse than any of the others. I'm still baffled by America's obsession with this series but what ya gonna do?
MOVIES OF THE WEEK!
Almost An Angel: A ridiculous situational comedy in which Croc Dundee himself, Paul Hogan believes he's been killed and resurrected as an angel by Charlton Heston's God. Swearing off a life of crime to help teach needy children to box dirty and swindle rich folks. Along the way he befriend's Elias Koteas' self-loathing cripple and his mousy sister Linda Kozlowski. This is some seriously lame comedy and if I didn't have fond memories of the film from childhood I'd probably crap on it, but nostalgia wins the day.
Conan O'Brien Can't Stop: An interesting but somewhat unfullfilling documentary following Conan O'Brien's post NBC cross country tour and his desperate attempts to save his voice and not talk to the people he does not want to talk to. The man is a mad showman and I used to stay up way too late for his manic brand of comedy, but I couldn't find any real depth to this documentary...not sure if I should have been suspecting that but I was kinda hoping for it. Still, the man can make me laugh when he wants to.
Bunraku: Definitely an entertaining viewing experience, but I can't really sing the film's praises. A post-apocalyptic world in which guns have been outlawed and the sword has risen to violent popularity. In strolls two men with no names, cowboy Josh Hartnett and samurai Gackt. With the help of Woody Harrelson's word wise bartender they'll take down Ron Perlman's dreadlocked Woodcutter big bad and rescue damsel in not-so-much-distress Demi Moore. It's a great oddball, weirdo cast but the film feels like overrinsed Sin City. A curiosity, but nothing more.
Terri: Overweight high school troglodyte Jacob Wysocki struggles to understand his monstrous surroundings with the aide of John C Reilly's struggling Vice Principle, scalp picker Chad Markson, and sexual outcast Olivia Crocicchia. It's all fairly typical Sundance cinema but the performances are strong. Yes, the ending feels a bit And Now The Credits Roll Cuz The Script Has Run Out, but I will always appreciate a film of this nature without a bow wrapped ending.
Blue Velvet: "I could never eat a bug." Holy Cow, I'd forgotten how great a film Blue Velvet truly is--man oh man, David Lynch expertly pulls back the curtain on those white picket fences and reveals a world of severed ears, candy colored clowns, and oxygen huffer Frank Booth. Seriously, Dennis Hopper is absolutely terrifying as the big bad of the film and I'm pretty sure he never topped that psychotic performance. The new blu ray is stunning and even though the newly discovered deleted scenes are still just typical deleted scenes, they're certainly fun to watch.
Beneath the Planet of the Apes: A rough sequel to the absolutely brilliant original, Beneath the Planet of the Apes stumbles around at the start with the disappearance of Heston's Taylor and the introduction of Heston Twin James Franciscus, but picks up once our new hero finally gets to the post-apocalyptic underground realm. "All Hail The Bomb!" You gotta love the climax that dares to go darker and more demented than the first film's Twilight Zone twist. And there is a great mano e mano brawl between the two leads...still, Franciscus is not Chuck. And I miss Roddy McDowell and Kim Hunter too much for all this alpha and omega business.
Escape From The Planet of the Apes: So, The Planet of the Apes has gone up in a doomsday mushroom cloud. Where do you go from there? Well, back in time of course! Cornelius, Zira, and Dr. Milo salvage Heston's original space vessel and travel back to modern day 1970s. The first half of the film is rather snappy and light with these Future apes trying to understand primitive man and their fashion sense, but the second half takes a much darker turn and delivers a climax that might just be the darkest ending of any of the films...at least I found it to be the saddest given the loving relationship between our favorite chimps.
Lost in America: "I have seen the future! It's a bald headed man from New York!" An amusing little film from Albert Brooks detailing a marriage on the verge of collapse after the husband fails to acquire the promotion he expected and the wife blows the nest egg at the roulette wheel. Typical Albert Brooks laughs punctuated by typically biting Albert Brooks dialog. The film fails to take it to the next level like in Defending Your Life, but the chuckles are earned even though the film eventually just rolls to a halt. I will say that it was nice seeing Revenge of the Nerds' Ogre playing another kinda ogre. Now where's my bag of Easy Rider cocaine so I can drop outta society?
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes: "Where there is fire, there is smoke. And in that smoke, from this day forward, my people will crouch and conspire and plot and plan for the inevitable day of Man's downfall!" I am amazed at how each film in this franchise manages to climax on a darker note than the previous, but none of the films are as dark, disturbing, or as brutal as Conquest. The child of of Cornelius and Zira, Roddy McDowell is Caesar the chimp that will lead The Apes to Revolution against man. Watching this film is a lot like watching Hitler come to power. Yes, the audience can totally identify with his rage and you might even cheer as the apes burn the city to the ground, piling the bloody human corpses in the gutters. But when that climactic speech happens, it's utterly chilling. A great, angry film.
Battle for the Planet of the Apes: Coming off the apocalyptic Conquest, Battle for the Planet of the Apes is a bit of a letdown. Roddy McDowell's Caesar is not the psychotic despot I would have liked to have seen, and his struggles to live in peace with man and his battles with the brutish gorillas is predictable Hollywood pap. Five films into the franchise, we finally get a somewhat happy ending and a whacky WHA HUH orangoutang cameo from director John Huston. Still, McDowell is so bloody fantastic in this series and their are some fine supporting performances from Paul Williams (Phantom of the Paradise!) and Austin Stoker (Assault on Precinct 13!).
William Shatner's Gonzo Ballet: This is definitely one of the more interesting bits of odd Shatner Cinema. Choreographer Margo Sappington fell in love with Shatner's Ben Folds produced album, Has Been one day after listening to NPR and had the brilliant idea of matching Shat music with the Milwaukee Ballet! Uh, okay. But you know what? It's awesome. Bonkers for sure, but awesome. This is a short documentary with plenty of Shat crazy as well as weirdo interviews with Folds and fellow spoken word madman Henry Rollins. If you are even the slightest fan of The Shat than you must check out his Gonzo Ballet on Netflix Instant.
Breaking Dawn Part 1: "How Bad Did I Hurt You?" asks post-coital Edward Cullen. I don't know about Bella, but I feel like I've had three trips on the train from the worst episodes of HBO's OZ. Ouch. I definitely appreciate America's ability to line up in droves to watch a vampire snack on placenta, go back for seconds, and a mopey werewolf fall in love with a baby. But despite all that absurd nonsense, very little happens in this film. A wedding. Sex. Avoidance of Sex. Sex. Pregnancy. Werewolf/Vampire scuffle. The end. Splitting the book into two films is definitely a smart cash grab.
Planet of the Apes (remake): The Rick Baker makeup effects are still phenomenal, and really get me urning for a Rise of the Planet of the Apes that wasn't mo-cap but that's about all the good I can speak about this 2001 remake of one of Sci-Fi's cinematic classics. Mark Wahlberg is dry when he's not just plain dull, and Helena Bonham Carter's Human Lover is an annoying wreck. Tim Roth is decent, but maybe I just love his look so darn much, and the fact that he can turn his hat into a nasty impaler. The Planet of the Apes remake pretty much rang the death knell on my Tim Burton fandom.
BOOK OF THE WEEK!
Raylan by Elmore Leonard: Woo Hoo! I managed to score an Advanced Reader's copy of Leonard's new novel which won't be hitting retail till mid January. With the success of FX's Justified, Elmore Leonard strikes out to capture the swagger of star Timothy Olyphant in the character he originally created for the novels Pronto and Riding the Rap. And he succeeds. The strange thing about the novel though is that it reads like three episodes of the show rather than one long plot. Raylan sorta wanders in and out of three crimes, all of which are somewhat connected but never fully realized. All your favorite characters from the show pop up here and there but I just don't feel like this book could survive without your love of the television show. A fun, if somewhat disappointing read.
