Monday, September 5, 2011

Brad's Week in Dork! (8/28-9/3)

Haven't really done one of these Week in Dorks since I got back from San Diego and part of me wanted to unleash a massive Weeks in Dork posting all the crazy stuff I've seen, read, and done since August but that sounded exhausting.  So I'm just gonna give you a run down of last week and promise to keep these Week in Dorks coming on a regular basis (and on time) like my co-dork Matt has been doing.


I really didn't watch the normal obscene amount of movies this week.  It's a typical hodgepodge of stuff, and with the exception of Five Easy Pieces & Live Like A Cop Die Like A Man, none of of these flicks particularly blew me away.

Crimewave:  Scored a bootleg copy of this while at the Baltimore Comic Con last month.  It's one of those flicks you always hear about but can never find, and always wanted to see due to my Sam Raimi/Bruce Campbell/Coen Brothers love.  Well I guess I know why they want to keep it off the market.  The film is trying way too hard to be a funny, wacky comedy but fails on almost every level. It's interesting to see some of the cogs in the Raimi/Coen genius cranking but I don't know if we should be too beat up that this flick is out of print. A little charm, but not much.  And as always:  Needs More Campbell.

Blitz:  Sad to report that Statham's latest outing is a bit of a bore. With a little help from fancy Paddy Considine, the over-raged Statham learns to focus his violent outbursts against Aidan Gillen's simplistic serial killer. The Cat & Mouse plot misses more often than hits and I found myself counting down the run time as one predictable outcome plays after the other. Plus, Zawe Ashton's junkie B story is unnecessary and definitely unwanted. Yep, a weak entry for the Stath. Bring on The Killer Elite.

Five Easy Pieces:  There really is nothing quite like 70s era Jack Nicholson and Five Easy Pieces is the film that launched his special brand of insanity on the unwitting audience (Easy Rider was the push, this is the punch). The story of a lost, angry man who screams and rages against anyone who gets remotely close to his emotional life. Painful to watch. Karen Black's meek, doormat girlfriend grates the nerves a bit but that's kinda her purpose.

Wrecked:  Adrien Brody trapped inside a wrecked automobile. As it builds from a barrage of wailing, crying, fidgeting, and squirming you start thinking that the 90 minute runtime might be more than a little tedious. Slowly, as the bobcats, the hallucinations, and the narrative invade, the film picks up some steam and delivers a satisfying climax. Not utter brilliance, but Wrecked confirms my suspicion that Brody deserves proper lead vehicles.

Live Like A Cop Die Like A Man:  Italian Crime Cinema at its ugliest and most brutal. Marc Porel and Ray Lovelock are a couple of Dirty Harrys that motorbike around Italy breaking the necks of injured purse thieves and smacking intel outta gangster girlfriends before seducing their way to the truth. Yeah, not for everyone but Live Like A Cop Die Like A Man is a quintessential entry in the genre and if that's your bag than you're gonna love it.

The Boss:  One mean dude, Henry Silva ignites a mob war after launching an explosive attack against a home porno theater. Lots of stern looks, shootings, stabbings, and screaming. The Boss is not the best Italian Crime film I've ever seen (right now that's Live Like A Cop, Die Like A Man) but if those dubbed dialog sequences didn't get in the way of Silva's violent rages than just maybe it would take the title. Antonia Santilli seems to really enjoy her kidnapping and I loved her brash, snooty attitude after slutting it up with all of the Italian Underworld.

John Carpenter's The Ward:  Sigh. I tried really hard to enjoy John Carpenter's latest offering. It has been such a long time since his last film (the goofily fun Ghosts of Mars) and I just wanted The Ward to kick all kinds of ass even though the rest of the internet seemed to say otherwise. Oh well. It has its moments. I like the opening fifteen minutes or so and I do think Amber Heard can be a fairly interesting protagonist (I love her exploitation charm in Drive Angry), but this film is ultimately a bore. Dullsville. And the climax made me want to punch a nun...or screenwriter.

Shark Night 3D: Say what you want about last year's Piranha 3D, but at least that flick knew what it was: an over-the-top ridiculous slice of gorey T & A exploitation. Shark Night 3D is just a pretender looking to snatch tweens from their parent's cash. That being said, the flick does offer up some seriously funny unintentional (?) laughs and the post-credits tag had me in stitches. And man, has Casper Van Dien spawned Chris Carmack from his seed? Cuz Junior Starship Trooper is all set to join the bughunt.


I've been really having fun with comics lately.  Hellboy:  The Fury has come and gone and a new era in the Mignolaverse has come to pass.  Can't wait to see where Red goes from here.  Those interested in reading more about my take on Hellboy & the BPRD can read my latest Four Color Grind column over at

I also finally caught up with Brubaker's Captain America run.  I stalled out after the return of Steve Rodgers in Reborn and even though this series hasn't been quite as good since then, the No Escape and Trial of Captain America arcs were fun.  Still, I miss my Bucky Cap and yeah, I'm looking forward to Steve McNiven's art on the relaunch but I'm hesitant to call this my favorite Marvel book these days.  What is my favorite Marvel book?  Don't know if I've got one.


Seems like every Saturday I'm at some different convention.  Drove up to Gettysburg for the 13th Annual Horrorfind.  Can't believe its been going on for 13 years.  I was there for the very first one in Hunt Valley, MD and it seems to be a much more mellow event these days.  Dealer's Room was tiny, got a few magnets and a couple DVDs.  Saw a couple of the Film Festival entries.  Nothing stood out.  Snagged autographs from Julian Sands, Brian Thompson, and Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Not sure if I'll keep going to these.  Guess it depends on who's going to be there and whatnot.  Still, the whole trip was worth it for that photo at the top of the post.  Piper was extremely friendly with all of his fans and wasn't charging an arm and a leg.


No comments:

Post a Comment