Friday, July 1, 2011

A Fistful of Who Cares? (Brad's Picks)

Larry Crowne doesn't look terrible.  If it's anything like Tom Hanks' last directorial effort, That Thing You Do than I'm sure it's got plenty of heart and enjoyment to be found.  However, who really cares?  This weekend is all about the Baypocalpyse that is Transformers:  Dark of the Moon.  So in honor of all those other Shoulder Shrug movies out there, ITMOD is listing our favorite bits of Don't Care About That cinema.

5.  Soul Surfer:  Seriously, I do not care about your spiritual journey back on the surf board after you got your arm bit off by a hungry shark.  If I'm looking for New Age Surfer Philosophy I'm going to Point Break.

4.  Miracle:  Okay, so it's got Kurt Russell going for it.  But it's another inspirational sports flick and it's one about hockey to boot.  Sure, USSR vs USA adds a bit of Wall Comin' Down gravitas to it, but I'd rather sit down to watch Rocky pound Ivan Drago.  

3.  Revolutionary Road:  Sam Mendes makes pretty movies.  And I'm sure Leo and Kate deliver some heartfelt shouty performances, but nearly two hours of bickering couple therapy?  No thank you.

2.  Dark Water:  Jennifer Connolly's apartment sure looks wet.  Ooooooooo.  This came out during the apex of crappy J-Horror remakes and I was about ready to pull every folicle outta my scalp.  Thankfully, this trend appears to have lost a little steam.  But please, no more Grudges or Rings or rainy walls.

1.  Any Movie Dealing With Robin Hood, But Especially That Russell Crowe Flick:  I've never been a particular fan of the Robin Hood myth, although I did enjoy his minor appearance in Time Bandits and the Men In Tights gave me a chuckle or two..  Other than that...I don't care.  Errol Flynn.  Douglas Fairbanks.  Disney Fox.  Kevin Costner.  Russell Crowe.  Whatever.  I will never care.


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