Matt’s Week in Dork! (12/15/13-12/21/13)

    Other than getting out to see a movie with Ben on Sunday morning, I spent much of this week either at work, or half passed out on my couch.  The holidays are not a good time for anyone who works in corporate retail.  And I’m no exception.  Physically and emotionally brutalizing, it’s left me with little ambition but to snack and veg in front of the TV, wishing I could sleep.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug:  The second film in the unnecessarily overblown adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic fantasy novel for kids is OK, but not as tight or dramatically packed as the Lord of the Rings trilogy of films, or even as much as the first Hobbit film.  It’s still watchable, and as I’ve brought up several times with friends, I really like Peter Jackson’s take on the setting, and would be completely willing to come back every few years for a new entry.  A Silmarillion trilogy?  I’m there.  Children of Hurin?  Sure.  Those words scrawled on napkins and receipts and backs of business cards that Christopher Tolkien keeps mining to release new books?  Yeah.  I’ll watch movies of those, too.  I also don’t mind the addition of characters this film features.  It doesn’t get in the way, and provides for some elements of surprise.  And as with Jackson’s other adaptations, the spirit remains true, even if the exact content doesn’t (often for the better…Tom Bombidil, I’m looking at you…or more importantly and thankfully, I’m not looking at you).  I have three basic complaints about the film, and none of them are deal breakers.  First, there is some serious tightening to be done in a few spots.  Second, and related, several action scenes go on for far too long and aren’t especially well done.  None are as unneeded and poorly executed as the canyon chase from Jackson’s King Kong (a movie I otherwise love, but that scene...oh, man...), but they could be trimmed/cut for the better of the whole.  And last, but not least, the end credit song is bloody awful.  I don’t love the credit songs from these movies, overall.  But this is the first one I straight-up dislike.  The singer sounds like ass and the song is far, far too modern.  It doesn’t work.  So, this second Hobbit movie is, as expected, more of the same; and I’m OK with that.  With about 20 minutes cut out, mostly from the action bits, it would have been much better.  Well, maybe cut some of Orlando Bloom and his weird CG'ed face.

Man of Tai Chi:  An OK movie about a young, impatient student of Tai Chi who becomes a sensation in the world of underground, illegal fight clubs.  There’s some kind of conspiracy, an intrepid police officer, and a shadowy villain in the form of Keanu Reeves.  Nothing ground breaking or amazing here.  But there are some pretty good fights and I always like seeing Karen Mok in a non-comic role.  It’s not that good, but it’s worth a watch if you’re in the mood for a fight flick and don’t have anything in mind.

Gargoyles:  I have to give ‘em credit for making the attempt.  And the movie doesn’t play out in the way you expect from something like this.  The monsters are just sort of matter of fact, showing up and doing their thing, without much mystery or magic.  But the movie is also not all that exciting.  It is never able to rise above its made for TV look and feel.  I don’t know that it’s a good idea, but this feels like it could use a remake.  Del Toro?

"Technically, I'm a Grotesque."

Upstream Color:  Featuring hot foley artist action, this well prepared plate of What the Hell? is brain-breakingly weird.  Like the best independent science fiction films, it demands careful thought, conversation, and likely repeat viewing(s).  What’s going on?  Who’s the pig farmer-foley artist?  What are the secrets in the pages of Walden?  What the heck did that guy pull out of that woman?  And did he put it in a pig?  Darned strange, and demanding.  And beautiful.  Fascinating.  I guess I can’t be too surprised that this is from the guy who did Primer, probably the best time travel film ever made.

    In the middle of the week I finished Sam Harris’s new book, Lying.  Like his book, The Moral Landscape, it sure gives plenty of food for thought on living a better life, both for yourself and those around you.

A Matter of Life and Death:  A darned peculier, but also darned fine film from the little spoken of masters Pressburger and Powell.  It’s kind of hard to talk about the film, at least in a sense of its story or plot.  What I can say is that it’s gorgeously shot and makes interesting use of Technicolor and black & white.  In many places, the film feels very modern, while in others very much of its time.  And it’s all profoundly British.  Highly recommended.  This should be seen.

The White Dove:  A surreal film, in many ways almost a silent film, The White Dove is filled with interesting images and crazy experimental sounding music.  I love the sequences with the artist as he tries various means of expressing himself.  I don’t know that I ever understood the stuff with the girl on the beach, though some of it was beautiful.  Where was the wheelchair bound kid’s parents?  I don’t know.  Overall, nice to look at, and generally pleasant.  But also darned odd.

Byzantium:  Vampires suck.  They’re boring and played out.  However, this movie is enjoyable, thanks in large part to the cast and direction.  It feels rooted in Hammer Horror, dripping with Gothic atmosphere, but not cheesy.  It’s a fascinating movie and very pretty to look at.  This would probably make a good companion film to Let the Right One In (or the remake, Let Me In).

The Seventh Seal:  Probably Ingmar Bergman’s most famous and popular film (Stateside, anyway), this Medieval meditation on the nature and meaning of life and death is beautifully shot and filled with meaning.  It’s on the strange side of Bergman’s work, but is more approachable than The Magician.

Jaws:  Though this movie never features on my favorites lists, nor is it a go-to watch, every time I do catch it, even in part, I’m reminded of just how darned good it is.  The characters, the tension, the little human moments; it all comes together.  The relentless, almost supernatural horror of the shark, lurking always under the surface.  Intense.  In some ways, this movie reminds me of The Thing.  Partially it’s the seclusion, but it’s also the group of unique men, thrust together and forced to deal with some unprecedented horror.  And like The Thing, there are lots of moments where the actors are able to raise the film above what’s in the script.

-Matt

A Fistful of Fall Anticipation 2013! (Matt’s Picks)

    I know I’ve been bemoaning the drab and lifeless films dumped onto the silver screens this year.  And I’m sure I’m not going to stop.  But, in the meantime, I’m trying to keep some hope alive.  In that spirit, here are my five most anticipated films of the Fall season.


5.  The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet:  Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s newest film may or may not play in the states this year.  It danged well better.  I love his weird fantasy reality, crazy characters, and bent sense of humor.  He’s one of the only French filmmakers who adds humor in ways I don’t find annoying.  Here’s hoping we can see this soon.  Because 2013 needs a major shot in the arm…or 8.

4.  47 Ronin:  OK, look.  I know.  This has a high, maybe even very high, likelihood of sucking in a most profound way.  But I hope (it’s just a hope) that it’s a fun, Pirates of the Caribbean style, Japanese mythology based, fantasy adventure film.  I hope it is.  I’ll be thrilled if it is.

3.  Her:  I don’t think much of Juaquin Phoenix.  He’s got a Brando vibe I find very off-putting.  And Spike Jones’s last film, Where the Wild Things Are was one of the worst films of 2009.  Still, the trailer is intriguing, and Jones did show a lot of early promise, so he might turn things around with this one.  Fingers crossed.

2.  Under the Skin:  I’m not sure if it’s a first-look high, but after seeing a quick montage teaser, this catapulted out of nowhere and on to this list.  I loved Sexy Beast, and this looks like a surreal nightmare…which I also love.  Bring it on, Jonathan Glazer.  Give me your best shot.  I can take it.  (I found out since writing this that the movie doesn’t have US distribution, and is only playing at festivals or some such.  I don’t care.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this sneaks out before the end of the year like The Artist did back in 2011).

1.  Inside Llewyn Davis:  The trailer for this film hardly thrills.  And I don’t care about folk singing or singers.  But I have liked every Coen Brothers film I’ve seen (except Intolerable Cruelty…duh).  So, I hope they strike gold one more time, and help rescue this year from the blahs.

    There are a few other movies I want to see, like Riddick, The Hobbit, Man of Tai Chi (if it plays), How I Live Now (if it plays), and Thor.  But it’s hard to say that I have any particularly strong ‘anticipation’ for them.  Oh, and I want to see Prince Avalanche, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be carried in theaters anywhere I’ll get to.  So, my Fall season is up in the air, as many films I want to see, films that might potentially make this year less abysmal than it's been, may not even come out this year.  I don't get it.

-Matt

You sir, are no Conan.

A Fistful of Summer 2013! (Matt’s Picks)

    OK, so I’m a little depressed.  This has been a pretty rough year.  Admittedly, it’s been getting a bit better.  But after last year’s parade of awful, to get hit with another pretty terrible batch of movies has gotten me down.  I’m in a bit of a movie funk, that is made all  the worse because there isn’t much on the horizon to get me all fired up.

    Anyway, the Summer did finally produce some movies of note.  So that’s something.  There have been some stinkers, and some world class failures.  Star Trek Into Darkness killed my excitement for that franchise.  White House Down was even more boring than it looked.  The less said about 2 Guns, the better.  But there was some good, too.  And several of the bombs weren’t actually all that bad.  Heck, I didn’t even hate After Earth (though I’m not gonna say it was good, it was passable).  The Lone Ranger was pretty good.  And while not amazing, Pacific Rim was a nice Kaiju adventure film.  While I am relieved that I had more than five movies to choose from for this list, I’m sad that I didn’t have much more than five, and I don’t know that more than one or two of these feel top ten of the year worthy.  So, let’s hope the end of the year is better than it looks.


5.  The Lone Ranger:  ???  Yeah.  I don’t know.  It was pretty good.  A fun Western adventure movie.  Comparisons to the Pirates of the Caribbean movies are only natural, and completely fair.  But I liked it.  Had America (and the world) not turned upon it like rabid dogs, I would have been perfectly happy coming back every couple of years to watch another entry, just like with the Pirates films.  Nothing amazing, but fun enough for a good time.

4.  Europa Report:  Was it a great movie?  No.  But I give them full marks for making a fairly realistic look at early exploration of the Solar System.  It’s also probably the best ‘found footage’ film I’ve seen, both in the actual footage, and the presentation (the film is assembled to look like a documentary, with interviews and such inter-cut).

3.  The World’s End:  The third film in the so called Cornetto Trilogy (Sean of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and this) is all kinds of fun.  But it’s also the weakest of the trilogy.  Even as the weakest, it’s still quite good.

2.  Elysium:  See, this is what I’m talking about.  Elysium is a pretty good William Gibson type cyberpunk film, with plenty of cool bits and good use of tech.  But it’s also full of shaky cam, extremely heavy handed, and has an unsatisfying conclusion.  So, why is it my number 2 film of the Summer?  ‘Cause this hasn’t been a good year.  Elysium is fine.  It’s pretty good.  It’s just not all that great.

1.  Only God Forgives:  Did you like Drive, but think there was just too much talking?  Do you like metaphors with you symbolism?  Do you like seeing hands get cut off?  Much more like the director’s pre-Drive Valhalla Rising, this hypnotic nightmare ride through the Thai underworld may be about a guy who wants to fight God…who may be an unassuming Thai detective…or something.  Oh yeah.  And karaoke!

    Holy crap.  Putting this list together makes me even more sad than when I started it.  This has been a bad year.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (12/23-12/29)

    Gah.  I’m not really a fan of the holidays.  It seems to be an excuse for people to be awful, for stress, and for loosing sleep.  This week kind of sucked.  Still, solace in art, right?  Couple of good movies, a good book, makes it worth the time I guess.

Inglourious Basterds:  “Well, if this is it old boy, I hope you don’t mind if I go out speaking the King’s”  What’s history?  Typical of the director, this movie is steeped in 70s exploitation and general movie fandom.  A group of Jewish American soldiers, a British spy, a young French cinema owner, and a Nazi with a head for hunting are on a collision course.  If you’re looking for a heart wrenching story of love and self discovery, set against the backdrop of world history…well, see The English Patient or something.  If you want Nazis getting scalped, Hitler loosing his shit, The Bear Jew playing a creative game of baseball, and the worst Italian accent you’ve ever heard (gore-lamby), this is your lucky day.

Provocation:  Awful people paw each other and are generally awful to each other, and a creepy kid watches.  This movie feels like the director had a couple women who were willing to take their clothes off on camera, so he tried to cobble together a script that would give them reason.  There’s little rhyme or reason for events, and the plotline is more of a vague squiggle.  They’ve got this beautiful villa to film at, and they shoot it like a soap opera, not only taking no advantage of the scenery, but actually obscuring it with bad angles and editing.  And as frequently happens in Euro films (French and Italian mostly), the ladies are very pretty and the guys look like ogres, making their awkward pawing even more disgusting.

I don't know how mirrors work.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey:  Peter Jackson and crew neither reinvent the wheel, nor break it, in this perfectly entertaining first part of what promises to be a sprawling adaptation of The Hobbit.  It takes its time, sure.  But, even in the long sections that, like the book, feature little in the way of action or excitement, they’ve peppered the script with flashbacks to more exciting times.  The cast all does a fine job, with several returning characters making welcome appearances.  I imagine that when it’s done, the resulting six film series will be quite the epic masterpiece.  I’m hoping there will be a bit more of the expanded story, dashes of the Bible-like Silmarillion and the like (though, I gather Jackson and crew do not have the rights to that…sad).  I’d love to see some kind of visualization of the Ages of Trees, or Ages of Lamps.  Whatever the case, if you enjoyed the Lord of the Rings trilogy, you should enjoy this return to the setting, 60 years earlier.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows: “Now, do you need me to elaborate?  Or can we just crack on.”  Holmes drags his about to be married best (and only) friend Watson into a dangerous conflict with the super villainous genius Moriarty.  The caper will take them across Europe in an attempt to thwart a world spanning war.  I love the actors’ portrayals of the characters and the bond of friendship they share.  Not only that, but the portrayal of Watson’s wife defies modern film convention at every turn, as she not only doesn’t spend all her time nagging, she actually supports him (even when he sometimes screws things up).  Though the story isn’t quite as interesting as the one in the first film, it’s still quite entertaining.  It reminds me of old time adventure movies, where the heroes are actually having fun, not simply being put upon by overpowering circumstances.  These guys do what they do, at least in part, because they love it.

Django Unchained:  Tarantino is back, once again crafting a cinematic love letter to film.  He’s done crime (a couple times), Blaxploitation, Kung Fu, 70s car chase, and to a degree, Western (Kill Bill Vol. 2 is like half Shaw Brothers, half 70s Western).  Well, now he’s gone full Western, digging up classic 60s and 70s actors to play grizzled and terrible people, populating a Texas filled with baddies.  Christophe Waltz is back, but this time as a good German, working for the Law, taking out the bad guys with a smile and a sunny outlook.  He doesn’t think much of slavery, and when he seeks help from a slave, he finds a friend, a friend with a story right out of myth.  Though occasional blood geyser filled gun battles pepper the film, and the N-bomb gets dropped more than an NWA concert, I was surprised how non-exploitation the film felt.  Though it’s certainly heavily inspired by Spaghetti Westerns, there was a lot more of the classic, pre-cynicism American Western than I anticipated.  Not that this movie shies away from things.  In fact, probably the one thing that will get the movie in the most trouble is its treatment of slavery; about which it is anything but shy.  But guess what, folks, slavery was very real, and it was real f&%$ed up.  And it wasn’t all Denzel Washington in Glory, either.  There were many faces.  Not that the movie is a history lesson, but sometimes exaggeration (or what seems like it…but terrifyingly isn’t extreme enough) is illustrative.  What has been filmed here is a somewhat episodic epic of the mythological American West.  It’s not simply the revenge movie the trailer made it seem.

Fuzz:  The 70s were weird.  Be it Tom Skerritt or the fact that Burt Reynolds was cool, it was a strange time.  Like some other movies of the time (Mash, Mother Jugs and Speed,…Black Samson, etc.) it’s all over the place with tone.  Attempts to be funny are just awkward when put along side moments of horror.  It’s one of those ‘slice of life’ type movies, where we enter a police precinct, then follow various cops dealing with various cases.  Kids setting homeless men on fire, an assassin, a new paint job in the office, Raquel Welch, and other trouble.  Something about the style of this movie makes it feel excruciatingly long, even though it’s only an hour and a half.  I keep wanting to be a Raquel Welch fan (yes, in part because she’s so danged hot), but she’s in so many awful films.  I think I’ve only found like three or four really good ones so far.  This isn’t among them.

The Warrior and the Sorceress:  “I travel alone.”  A Fistful of Tereks?  In a horrible world of sand and thirst, the greatest warrior is a scrawny, middle aged guy in a cape.  A Marine and his rockstar first officer are pitted against a fat guy and his stuffed dragon, with a topless princess and a well in the balance.  Into this stupid setting ambles the lifeless David Carradine to play over-actor against over-actor in an attempt to win the day.  One of the worst film versions of Dashiell Hammett’s Red Harvest (Yojimbo and A Fistful of Dollars being the two best and rightly most well known), I still kind of love it.  And not just because Maria Socas refuses to wear a top (admittedly, that is a big reason…well, two).  Watching Carradine fight reminds me of Steven Segal; the way he’s so clearly not good at it and the staging is so forced.  If you’re in the mood for some Deathstalker or Barbarian Queen type fantasy garbage, this is a good choice.  Seriously, though.  Stuff like this makes me wish I made movies.  I’d like to think my scripts would be better, but this is totally the kind of low budget stuff I’d like to make.

Barbarian Queen:  “I’ll be no man’s slave, and no man’s whore.”  Some women loose their menfolk and their village, but not their hairspray, in this not quite as good as Deathstalker bit of low budget fantasy cheese.  Some truly awful dubbing lends the film that certain something special.  And why does every one of these movies have an orgy room?  For that matter, why does every orgy room have the worst flute music you’ve ever heard?  What about flute music says, ‘orgy?’  The villain, who may or may not be John Gotti in hiding, is kind of silly.  It feels like they were trying to go for a Rip Torn from Beastmaster kind of thing.  But it doesn’t work.  There’s a lot of nudity, a little blood, a lot of bad acting, and not much story.

Martial Club:  “Our lion dance is really good.”  Another Shaw Brothers kung fu classic, this one features the great Gordon Liu and some wild Lion dancing.  Lion dancing, like break dancing, BMX riding, or to a lesser degree, ice skating, is the height of cool and physical prowess, with strict rules, its own lingo, heaping piles of glory, deep rivalries, and an essential hero’s journey into ultimate wisdom.  Rival lion dancing clubs  (one honorable, one dishonorable) want to win some kind of contest.  This movie sure taught me that I don’t want to work at an herbal medicine shop.  At least, not one staffed by an abusive kung fu expert lady (cute or not).  This is one of the rare semi-comic kung fu movies I’ve seen that is actually fairly entertaining, largely because of the two leads’ almost silent movie level of expressive acting and physicality.  Plus, the movie features some epic sideburns.  And the final ally fight is awesome.  Tiger Style!!!

Lust, Caution:  “The diamond itself is of no interest to me.  I just want to see it on your finger.”  After the New Age pap of Life of Pi (not to mention the super-dullsville Brokeback Mountain), I kind of needed a reminder of why I liked Ang Lee, so I decided to finally check out the movie I missed a couple years ago, Lust, Caution.  I generally avoid NC-17 movies, because the rating typically indicates excruciatingly boring films, but I like Tony Leung, and once upon a time, Ang Lee.  I  find it interesting how certain events, certain times leave their mark on a culture’s personality.  Japan is still haunted by the Bomb.  To a lesser degree, we still feel the sting of Pearl Harbor.  England remembers the Blitz.  And China is haunted by the specter of the Japanese occupation.  The movie is a slow burn.  A handful of idealistic student actors decide that inspiring art is not enough, so they hatch a plan to kill some traitors who are working with the Japanese.  They seem like very likable folk, if it wasn’t for the whole murder plot thing.  Things get complicated when the beautiful young woman among their ranks seduces a collaborator.  As one expects from Lee, the movie is beautiful and the performances strong.  It’s one of those very intimate dramas set against massive movements in world history.  The characters are interesting, and one can’t help but wish them well, but dread hangs over it all.  Dang, though.  I would love to have a woman sing for me the way Tang Wei does for Tony Leung.  I suppose the depiction of sex is a touch stronger than typical, but I don’t see any reason for this movie to have a stronger rating than R.

Black Book:  The Dutch resistance gets its due in this surprisingly good Paul Verhoeven movie.  Who would have thought the guy behind Showgirls and Starship Troopers could make this beautifully crafted and interesting tale of a young woman who must infiltrate those danged Nazis to save herself and her country.  The cast does a fine job and the story is pretty good.  It is loosely based on various real people and events, though mixed and matched and altered for the sake of drama.

Atom Age Vampire:  “No let’s both stay home… together… with our records.”  Life is tough for a sexy dancer when her military boyfriend gets fed up with her career choice.  Time to drive like an idiot and get in a weird car accident!  I guess facial scars drive women mad.  I don’t know, they don’t look that bad to me.  But evil science must run its course.  I guess, by movie standards, trying to do almost anything constitutes playing god.  But a Will Farrell as George Bush looking scientist is all about sloppy science and unsafe human experimentation.  A kind of surprisingly good special effect for the time, location, and budget restores her to her former beauty.  Of course, that can’t last.  Eventually, a leprous Tony Curtis look-alike goes on a murder rampage.  You know, that old story.

    I started the week with the first disk of Boardwalk Empire.  I love the music they find for this show.  Everyone is trying to get back into the swing of things after the life shake-ups of the first season.  It’s not going well.  The KKK is up to mischief, Chicago wants to cut out Atlantic City, and all the womenfolk are less than thrilled with their men.  I like that the Commodore is becoming more of a power player in this season, and that Chalky seems to have more to do than get angry all the time.

    I also started season 4 of The Clone Wars.  Even when it’s not at its best, it’s still the best Star Wars out there.  It captures that certain something that made me love Star Wars as a kid, and generally avoids the shoddy writing and poor pacing of the more recent films.  And, as they expand the universe, we’re treated to some pretty cool, grand visuals.  This is the kind of thing I want to start seeing in science fiction films again.  I wonder if, when this show reaches the idiotic turn of events that is Revenge of the Sith, they might continue the story with the rise of the Rebellion.  That might be a more satisfying show, because at least it wouldn’t be saddled with such a lame eventuality.

    Oh, man.  I finished reading Y: The Last Man.  Such a good series, such a painful finale.  I think this could make for a really excellent trilogy of films (maybe one really long one?).  In the right hands, with the right cast.  But great stuff, whatever the case.

-Matthew J. Constantine

Brad's Two Weeks In Dork! (12/2/12-12/15/12)

Long time no write.  Due to some technical difficulties (and a little laziness) I've been dragging ass with this blog of late.  But never fear, as 2012 comes to a close, and the mad dash to witness as many "new" movies as possible consumes my every waking moment we're closing this year with some pretty epic dorkery.  These past two weeks saw the blu ray release of The Dark Knight Rises, the return of Mike Mignola to Hellboy, the latest Nic Cage travesty, the horrors of The Life of Pi, the Star Trek Into Darkness prologue, and the snotty comedy of The Hobbit.  But through it all I was simply just counting down the days till Christmas -- not capture Jolly Saint Nick, but to finally bask in the macaroni violence of Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained.

And in prep for Django, The Wife & I continued our way through the Tarantino XX box set.  It's definitely frustrating that this set doesn't really offer anything new for the die hard fans (other than the kickass box art), but I really have been enjoying Elvis Mitchell's critics round table on the first bonus disc.  I can listen to that man all day long (everyone should be subscribed to his Treatment podcast) even when his "right" opinions must contend with the very "wrong" opinions of Stephanie Zacharek.  Seriously, what's she even doing in this discussion?

However...possibly the most anxiously anticipated movie this week was...

Magic Mike:  For a man threatening to retire, director Steven Soderbergh sure is cranking out a whole helluva lotta movies.  And I've been eating them up.  The Informant!  Contagion.  Haywire.  Loved 'em all.  But what could he possibly do with a Channing Tatum stripper movie?  The meathead from that cinematic war crime known as GI Joe - The Rise of Cobra.  The block of wood that stumbled throughout the ancient travesty of The Eagle.  That adorable dolt from the shockingly funny 21 Jump Street remake.  Ya know what, he's absolutely charming as Magic Mike.  His struggling entrepreneur/busta-move-male-stripper is rather captivating, even when the film kinda just meanders its way through the narrative.  I like the idea of Tatum as Dr. Frankenstein to Alex Pettyfer's Rippling Abs Monster, and I wish their story went a heckuva lot darker than it ultimately does, but that also might be due to the fact that I want 99% of all stories to descend into bloodshed.  I don't know, I just think there was potentially a really demented noir buried beneath the heart of this Tampa melodrama.  As is, Magic Mike is a solid whacky stripper flick that also happens to contain the best use of foreground penis in movie magic history.  And Matthew McConaughey is always welcome - especially when he's in smiley asshole mode.

The Dark Knight Rises:  Forget the haters, I love this movie.  ** MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD **  I love Tom Hardy.  I love Bane's bobble head voice.  I love the epic sweeping swathes of rioting extras.  I love Anne Hathaway's sneering Catwoman.  I love Gary Oldman's broken commissioner.  I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt's too-good beat cop.  And I love, love, love this film as Bruce Wayne's swan song.  No matter how you interpret the ending (really shitty editing choices ruin what could have been a rather fantastic Inception climax) but you can't ignore Bruce Wayne's retirement and the rise of Batman.  The first film is Bruce Wayne's movie.  The second film depicts the price of Batman.  And the third film represents the ideal of Batman, and it brings a fitting conclusion to the story of Bruce Wayne & Gotham.  Sure, the saga could go on and Hollywood will force it to continue, but I would really hope that Warner Brothers leaves this incarnation of The Dark Knight alone.  It's my favorite film trilogy (you heard me, Star Wars & Dr. Jones fans) and even though there are minor quips and quibbles along the way Christopher Nolan has delivered an epic that this Bat Fan will always be thankful for.

All New X-Men #3:  My interest dips a little with this issue.  Focusing mostly on the modern day Cyclops' troubled soul and his collecting of All New Mutants, this issue offers very little in terms of the time travel high concept.  Scott's struggling with his new position as revolution leader.  Emma Frost is just as pissy as ever.  But the last page promises a tragic confrontation in the next issue.  Old vs. New - that's what really excited me about this book.  Let's get on with it.

Avengers #1:  Benids' reign on The Avengers has come to an end.  Now it's Jonathan Hickman's turn.  And it's ok.  Captain America leads the movie cast (Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Widow) to Mars where they encounter the golden god zealot Ex Nihlo & his rather lame cronies.  The Avengers get their ass handed to them and Cap retreats to Earth to gather more Avengers.  We get promises of Wolverine, Cannonball, Hyperion, and a bunch of other cats I don't really give a crap about.  I'm on the wait and see list as far as this Marvel Now book is but what there is no denying is the utter beauty of Jerome Opena's art.  There are panels in this book that I would love to rip out and frame on my wall.  A few more issues of this and he might ascend to one of my all time favorite artists.  Seriously, there is a shot of The Hulk charging the Martian landscape that knocked my jaw to the floor.  Fantastic.

Daredevil - End of Days #3:  Ben Urich continues his investigation into Matt Murdoch's final words, but we don't get much closer to Rosebud.  What we do encounter is a whole mess load of illegitimate children.  I mean, is there a single woman in the Marvel Universe that Daredevil didn't sleep with?  I'm definitely enjoying this book, but it's not the must-read that Bendis' Daredevil run once was.

Deadpool #3:  Is it just me?  Am I the only one of the planet that doesn't get Deadpool?  I can appreciate a good joke book as much as the next guy, but it just feels like Posehn & Duggan are trying to damn hard to earn my laughter.  Deadpool and Dr. Strange have a little mini team up in an attempt to get to the bottom of this Zombie President Plague, but other than a couple of chuckles I can't really say I'm enjoying this book.  Than why on Earth am I still reading it?  Cuz I want to love a book in which Tricky Dick Nixon beats the living hell out of a goofy ass Wolverine wannabe.  And Abe Lincoln is coming.  That's gotta be awesome right?  Just see Matt's review of Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.

Iron Man #3:  It's Iron Man vs. The Living Laser!  As well as a bunch of other losers from ol' Shell Head's lame ass rogues gallery.  As Tony Stark works his way through the Extremis knock-offs, I grow rather tired of Gillen's one & done story telling.  And I'm definitely already sick of Greg Land's tired artistry.  I know the rest of the Internet is already screaming this, but EVERYONE LOOKS THE SAME!!!!!!  And Gillen's Tony is just a subpar interpretation of Robert Downey Jr's wise arse playboy.  Iron Man is easily one of the big disappointments from Marvel Now.

Thunderbolts #1:  This I enjoyed.  Much more than I thought I was going to anyway.  George "Thunderbolt" Ross aka The Red Hulk begins to recruit the most popular anti-heroes in the Marvel Universe for a purpose not quite understood.  This appears to have very little to do with previous incarnations of this super villian team, but I'm rather thrilled to see artist Steve Dillon take on these extreme hard cases.  The last page depicting Red Hulk & The Punisher mowing their way through a warehouse full of mobsters.  This really should be a MAX book, but its just gory enough to be entertaining in an exploitation kinda way.

Hawkeye #5:  Not as clever or fun as The Tape Part 1, but Matt Fraction continues to writer one of the most charming books in comics.  Clint & Kate bash their way through the Marvel Underworld and they do so in absolute style.  I will say that the The Tape's revelations are a little disappointing, but I really appreciate how this book doesn't shy away from all that Avengers shenanigans where it so easily could be a book that lives in its own little world.

Detective Comics #15:  This really is the weakest tie-in to The Death of the Family storyline, but that doesn't matter cuz it also happens to be one of the best Clayface stories ever concocted.  The poor bastard.  Even the mud man can't escape the diabolical wiles of eco slut Poison Ivy.  You really do feel sorry for the dope.  Especially when Batman shows up wearing his new Anti-Clayface armor.  Good ol' Bruce Wayne, he's got a suit of armor for every situation...I mean, toy line.

Hellboy in Hell #1:  Here it is.  Possibly the most anticipated event of 2012.  And I've buried it smack dab in the middle of my week.  Ok.  It's not a life changing single issue.  But that's just it...it's just a single issue.  My enthusiasm for this character is not going to live or die on Hellboy in Hell #1.  Don't get me wrong, it's a solid comic.  But it's just not the epic exclamation that I was expecting.  This is a starter issue, a toe's dip in the water of the obvious epic that's naturally ahead.  Hellboy awakens in his motherland and Sir Edward Grey meets him in the abyss.  There's a good punch up with the order of the fly, and a mess load of creepy crawlies.  I honestly don't know where Mignola is taking us with this book, and frankly, I'm nervous at the notion that he seems only interested in telling small arcs for the foreseeable future.  And I miss Hellboy's red flesh.  This muted, brown color is depressing.  But I guess that's the point.  And I cannot wait for the second issue.  And the third, the fourth, and every singe issue until Mike Mignola drops dead and stops gifting this world with Hellboy.

Invincible #98:  Phew.  I'm all caught up and back on single issue comics.  This is the beginning of "The Death of Everyone" arc and I'm honestly surprised to think that Robert Kirkman might actually deliver on that painful statement.  Mark Grayson vs. Dinosaurus.  He's already destroyed Las Vegas.  But his next target would make Galactus smile from ear to ear.  Kirkman proves nearly every issue that Invincible is not the place you want to be if you want to stay safe and warm - nope, it's a book you read if you love to see your favorite characters punched to the brink of death time and time again.  No other super hero book brutalizes its players quite like Invincible.  And I'm afraid no one is going to survive this latest story arc.  I'm telling you, issue #101 is going to unravel this saga off world.

Shadowman #2:  More grisly Voodoo fun.  Jack learns a little about the Shadowman mantle while duking it out with the goons of the demonic Mr. Twist.  Not sure what I think of this book yet, but I dig the concept or at the very least, Patrick Zircher's monster drawings.  There are not a lot of successful super hero horror comics, so here's hoping that I eventually enjoy this book in the same fashion I'm enjoying nearly all of Valiant's reboots.

Stumptown #4:  Greg Rucka's missing guitar P.I. book comes to a close and I'll never think about it again.  A real bummer.  I'm always looking for a good crime book and I've enjoyed Rucka's stuff in the past, but this failed to excite.  Stumptown is just far too ordinary to be memorable.  Honestly, I find even writing these few words on the book to be rather vexing as I don't remember anything remarkable about it at all.  Asshole musicians.  Neo Nazi drug dealers.  A car chase.  Snooze.

Pulp Fiction:  Each time I watch Pulp Fiction I tend to fixate on a different character.  The first time I saw the film I gravitated towards Sam Jackson's religiously challenged hitman Jules.  After all, he's easily the most badass character in tale with his Ezekiel speeches and brain detail sarcasm.  The last time I watched Pulp Fiction, I was entranced by John Travolta's sadsack dope fiend.  He's as cool as ice, but he's also just an insecure loser that meets his end after an unceremonious dump - not to forget it's his clumsy trigger finger that ignites Jules' frustration with brain detail.  This time, however, Pulp Fiction was all about Bruce Willis' punching bag.  His is the film noir tale of hard boiled knocks.  The attempt to get out on top, while fighting impenetrable odds in the form of Ving Rhames' gangsta godfather and...gulp...those boys with The Gimp.  Butch is the role you'd love to see William Holden sink into, or better yet, Burt Lancaster.  And Bruce Willis nails the tough guy exterior and somehow manages to survive with his body parts in tact and the girl on the back of his chopper.

Killing Them Softly:  Ugly.  That's the word.  Downright gross and ugly.  There's been a lot of to do made of its economic crisis philosophizing, but I didn't find the bar room broadcasts distracting or out of tone with the rest of the picture.  Was it a little pretentious?  Yeah.  But not enough to distract from all the greatness to be found in this wicked little picture.  Brad Pitt's businessman killer might seem like the center of the movie, but it's Scott McNairy & Ben Mendelsohn's show as the couple of dim bulb nitwits that hijack Ray Liotta's card game.  Mendelsohn (saw earlier this week in The Dark Knight Rises as the slithery corporate scumbag John Daggett) is AWESOMELY dirty and sweaty - he's all lips and spittle as he plods towards self destruction.  Watching this dumb bastard navigate the crime world of Killing Them Softly is the true delight of the film.  He's a monster.  A dumb, dumb, dumb monster who brings devastation to all those that cross his path.  And in a lot of ways this feels like the latest adaptation of Richard Stark's Parker series (much more so than this upcoming Jason Statham monstrosity), a world where crimes are just another means to a monetary end.  So yeah, Obama vs Bush tv coverage rams the point home a little too bluntly but I don't really disagree with its position.  And James Gandolfini gets my saddest sadsack of the year award.  Death to his whoring, drunk killer would be a warm release.

Life of Pi:  This one left me scratching my head.  Cuz I pretty much hated everything about it.  And I really can't go into why I hated it so much without crapping all over the ending.  I was somewhat on board in the beginning when young Pi is searching for meaning in various religions while butting heads against his father's passion for reason.  Then there's the shipwreck.  And an hour or so of boring tiger struggle, a trip to a carnivorous island, and the cheapest trick ending I've experienced since a half dozen lameass M. Night Shyamalan "What A Twist!" endings.  And what does that ending mean?  Do we find God?  We definitely don't find religion.  What we find is a sucker.  A sad man who can't deal with the horrors of his reality.  Infuriating.  And all this hubbub over how pretty the spectacle of it all is...I give it a big meh.  There's not one computer generated frame found here that's worth a pixel of the beauty crafted by Roger Deakins in Skyfall.  Ang Lee, I've been one of your greatest defenders - heck, I'm the guy that loved HULK - but you completely lost me with this pompous pap.

Stolen:  It's been a rough year for Nicolas Cage fans.  As much as I wanted to enjoy Ghost Rider 2 even I have to admit that it was not nearly as batshit crazy as I was expecting from those mad bastard Crank brothers.  And Seeking Justice, his previous direct-to-dvd nonsense, offered little more than a few painful winces of embarrassment.  So what of Stolen?  You have my permission to forget it.  I know I already have.  Well, I do remember Josh Lucas' whole hearted attempt to Out Cage Nicolas Cage as the one legged evil taxi driver ranting and raving about Picasso.  There's a few chuckles for you.  But nothing else.  Here's hoping Nic finds a few more Bad Lieutenants and Drive Angrys in 2013 and a whole lot less of Stolens.

Jackie Brown:  It might not have the flash of Pulp Fiction or the bloody cool butchery of Kill Bill, but Jackie Brown is still withoutadoubt my favorite Tarantino flick.  The dialog ingenuity of both QT and Elmore Leonard collide and the result is a crackerjack script that can't be beat.  In a year where you have to turn over every single stone on the planet just to find a half decent Supporting Actress performance let alone a Leading Performance, Pam Grier is a revelation as The Woman at the center of this crime caper.  She's strong, brutal, cool as a cucumber, vulnerable, and sexy.  On the other side of the picture you've got Sam Jackson's walking nightmare, Ordell Robbie.  He's got the slick cool of Pulp Fiction's Jules as well as a tinge of scary ass villainy.  He's a gun running thug who only looks badass cuz he's got an even dumpier dope tagging along - Robert De Niro in his last great performance.  Then you've got Robert Forester's Max Cherry.  He's the coolest dude in the film cuz he's so darn collected. A good guy who gets to taste a little danger without destroying his soul.  The unrequited romance between Max and Jackie is right up there with Rick & Ilsa.  Bold words.  But I believe them.

The Avengers - Children's Crusade:  Read this for The Wife's book club.  Can't say I enjoyed it.  Which is a little bit of a bummer since I rather enjoyed Allen Heinberg & Jim Cheung's previous Young Avengers books.  But in Children's Crusade there are just too many characters from across the Marvel globe shoved into this conflict for some inexplicable reason.  It actually plays out like a precursor for Marvel's latest catastrophe - Avengers vs X-Men.  When Wiccan travels to Wundagore Mountain in search of his soul mother, The Scarlet Witch he encounters the wretched planning of Dr. Doom as well as Magneto, Quicksilver, Kang the Conqueror and the true villain of all mainstream comics - Retcon.  Honestly, of the six or seven books we've read so far for the goup, this was my least favorite.  Yep, that's right.  Get Jiro was better.

The above badass photo indicates the break between the two weeks.  I don't have anything wise or profound to say at this point, I was just looking for an excuse to post this most amazing photo of Big Boy's gang from Dick Tracy.  The blu ray was released this week and despite its complete lack of special features (seriously, not even a trailer) it's still one of the most amazing releases of the year.  Dick Tracy was made for 1080p.  It's beautiful and was the absolute highlight of my second week.  Sorry Hobbit.

Expendables 2:  The Expendable films are not what I want them to be - serious, blood drenched explosions of Hollywood masculinity that refuse to wink at the audience even when they're taking the piss outta the glorious genre born and bred in the 1980s.  That being said, they're still whole heaps of goofy fun.  The film never quite matches the joy of its opening with Sly and the Family Stone storming the castle to free a hooded Arnold Schwarzenegger, but there are still hints of giddy glee peppered throughout.  Dolph Lundgren's Frankenstein monster.  Chuck Norris' Morricone entrance.  Jason Statham's "I now pronounce you man and knife."  But I wish the film took the genre if not itself a little more seriously.

Kill Bill Vol. 1:  I still remember the first time I saw the trailer for Kill Bill ahead of Gangs of New York.  It absolutely floored me.  It looked nothing like Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, or Jackie Brown.  And I was right.  Kill Bill Vol. 1 is the start of a new era in Tarantino - the curtain is torn down, long live Grindhouse Nostalgia!  And I love every second of this bloody rampage of revenge.  Uma Thurman gets her role of a lifetime as The Bride, the angry psycho killer karate chopping her way through an army of goons just to taste some cold Klingon vengeance.  There is nothing cooler than her blood drenched assault on the House of Blue Leaves, and as you spend nearly half the film watching her slice and dice these masked hoodlums you cannot help but get caught up in the pleasure of violence.  And then you've got Tarantino's pornographic ear for reimagining iconic film scores to fit his needs - screw you Death Rides A Horse, I'll show you what to do with Ennio Morricone!  This is Love Letter cinema as high pop art.

Journey 2 The Mysterious Island:  I'm not going to lie.  This movie makes me giggle.  And it's further proof that if you stick The Rock into your sequel he can make any franchise totally awesome.  He's fixed The Fast & The Furious, this kiddie fare, and I cannot wait to see how he helps out GI Joe next year.  The man is just so darn charming.  And when you partner him up with the Adam Sandler comedy of Luis Guzman and the treacherous old man humor of Michael Caine, the result is simply sublime.  Plus, he rides a bee!!!!!!!  I've always been a sucker for giant animal films, and the original Mysterious Island is my favorite and absolutely under appreciated Ray Harryhausen flick.

Machete:  A lot like The Expendables, Machete is too winky for its own good.  But where else can you got to get Danny Trejo as your top billed actor and Steven Segal as your monstrous Mexican drug lord?  Nowhere.  And I enjoy Machete's winks and nudges a little more than Sly's...well, that's my feeling this week.  It's trying too hard to be cool, but dang it, Jeff Fahey is so delightful in his snidely whiplash mode and Robert De Niro sure seems to be having whole heaps of fun as the racist Texas Congressman.  And let's not forget Introducing Don Johnson.  He's gotta be happy to be back up on the big screen.  My only real complaint is Jessica Alba.  She really knows how to bring a party down with her sack of potatoes acting.  Seriously, some one needs to stop her.

Dick Tracy:  This movie still amazes me.  I've never really cared for Warren Beatty.  I've always found him to be kind of a bore.  But in Dick Tracy he's a tough, hard boiled champion of cool.  And how can you not adore his conviction for the artificial, the massive comic book brows and the beautiful matte painting backdrops.  This is the Wes Anderson of crime fighter flicks and its the highlight of early 90s Disney cinema (and yes, I'm including The Lion King).  Sure, I can take or leave Madonna's Breathless and her Blank revelation is tremendously lame, but Al Pacino, William Forsythe, Ed O'Ross, Mandy Patinkin, Paul Sorvino, RG Armstrong, Henry Silva, Dustin Hoffman - all chewing up the brightly colored scenery.  Everyone's going for broke in this film, and unlike Machete or The Expendables the script never winks at the audience.  This is life and death stuff.  It's weird and goofy, but the stakes are real and the characters treat it as such.

Avengers - Arena #1:  If it hadn't been such a quiet week at the comic shop I never would have bothered with this title.  It's easily the weakest high concept of the Marvel Now books.  Writer Dennis Hopeless takes his Avengers Academy brats and drops them on Arcade's Murder World Island for a fight to the death.  Yeah, right?  The Hunger Games by way of Battle Royale by way of The Running Man by way of Lord of the Flies by way of who gives a crap?  But ya know what?  I actually kinda enjoyed it.  It's got Darkhawk after all and he's cool, right?  Wait, is that my 90s kid brain talking?  I think it is.  Not sure if I'll continue with this book but it definitely passed the time in an enjoyable fashion.

Cable and X-Force #1:  And speaking of book I normally wouldn't have purchased, it's another Dennis Hopeless book in which I don't give a darn about any of the core characters.  I mean, there's a kernel of an interesting father/daughter story with Cable & Hope Summers but its still got a nasty taste of AVX to it for me to be properly engaged.  And the Cable has a brain tumor or whatever subplot is a little annoying.  If I get the second issue, I'll be surprised.

Fantastic Four #2:  Hey look, it's an actual Marvel Now book I enjoy!  Reed Richards is still hiding his cellular degeneration from his family, and gathering the ingredients for the new FF.  Along the way we get a rather amazing cameo from Marvel's past - Devil Dinosaur & Moon Boy!!!  Too cool.  Matt Fraction has been kicking butt on the humor front with books like Hawkguy and that signature smile is present here, but I'm looking forward to Marvel's First Family taking their dimensional vacation and for the plot to thicken.  Cosmic Adventure Ahoy!

Iron Man #4:  Still not loving this book but I'm also still buying it.  However, I gotta admit that I actually enjoyed this issue.  Tony Stark's still hunting for Extremis freaks and this month that quest takes him to the catacombs beneath Paris.  There he encounters vampires.  Kinda.  Tony Stark's technology vs. creepy crawly supernatural monsters.  This is old world Iron Man comics here and I dig that.  Plus, who doesn't love Stark's gargantuan War Machine suits.

Winter Soldier #13:  Just end already.  You were beautiful once, but that time has long past.  Bucky Barnes is back under the roof of S.H.I.E.L.D but he seems no closer to rescuing Natasha after a bad bout with Daredevil and a minor scrape with Wolverine.  And then Captain America drops by for a gust spot.  I can't believe how frustrating this series has become.  I know I've said this before but Brubaker's Bucky/Cap stories used to be so damn amazing, and this feels like something workshopped by a completely different human.

Batman #15:  Three issues into Snyder's Death of the Family story arc and I'm not yet convinced this is the greatest thing to ever happen to comics.  Sure, Greg Capullo's Joker Leatherface is creepy as hell and he gives me a serious case of the heebie jeebies but I have yet to be wowed by the horror perpetuating Gotham's Vigilante family.  At least not in the way The Court of Owls stuff grabbed my attention.  I hate to admit it, especially with Matt so close by, but this Joker business feels like more of the same.  Still, the backup in this issue offers up a lot of promise and I'm very interested to see what the other inmates of Arkham Asylum have to do in the arc.

Archer & Armstrong #5:  X-O Manowar has had its Ninjak guest star and now Archer & Armstrong gets The Eternal Warrior.  The immortal assassin Gilad attempts to slaughter Archer while Armstrong defends his honor.  This is a basic chase comic as our two heroes attempt to reach The Geomancer before the new misunderstood hero takes them out.  What's a Geomancer?  Doesn't really matter at this point.  It's a chase book with a lot of chuckles.  Archer & Armstrong continues to be my favorite of the Valiant relaunches.

Bloodshot #6:  Bloodshot takes on a batch of cybernetic monstrosities while storming the compound of Project Rising Spirit.  I love the presence of Bloodshot's nanites outside of his body aka "The Kid."  His encounter with Walker is fantastic, but not nearly as fantastic as the appearance of the Twilight Zone monstrosity knows only as Gamma.  She's a beast cracked straight from the horrors of Rod Serling's brain...or more to the point, Joe Dante's brain by way of Rod Serling.

The Creep #4:  Well this turned out to be a bit of a let down.  I really, really enjoyed the 0 issue but from that point on I was never that enthralled with the P.I. case.  When the big mystery is revealed its a little sad, but not that complicated and certainly not surprising.  As I turned the last page I pretty much just shrugged my shoulders and went on with my life.  Not much more to say.  I do dig Jonathan Case's art and I want to see him on more books.  And John Arcudi's work on B.P.R.D. is gang busters.  But The Creep just never had me.

The Collection:  The movies starts out promising.  A disco tech full of lifeless teenage trash is brutally mutilated by a SAW-like contraption lawn mowing its way outta the ceiling.  But once that crew of extras has been reduced to KNB pulp we're left with an annoying collection of no-names and kinda-sortas.  The best of which are Lee Tergesen (of HBO's OZ) and Andre Royo (of HBO's The Wire) but they're playing second banana to Emma Fitzpatrick's boring final girl.  I never saw the original film, but I don't think I missed much.  The Collection is just another slasher film lost in the shuffle.

Hitchcock:  Having suffered through the awkward rapist horror of HBO's Hitchcock flick, The Girl it was rather pleasant to partake in this refreshingly lighthearted exploration of the making of Psycho.  This film is a lark, and it's obvious that Anthony Hopkins is having a blast portraying Hitch on screen.  Sure, Toby Jones' sociopath might have been closer to the truth (or not, who the hell knows?) but what I want from a Hitchcock bio is a good time and a devilish chortle.  The bits where Hopkins breaks the fourth wall a la Alfred Hitchcock Presents or all the Ed Gein sidebars.  This is a light confection, but an affectionate treat for the fanboy.

Savages:  "I have orgasms.  He has war-gasms."  Ugh.  Oliver Stone's latest abomination is another embarrassing mark on a once interesting if not always successful career.  Taylor Kitsch & Aaron Johnson are a couple of vacuous bros attempting to man-up in the drug trade.  But when Benicio Del Toro's slothish enforcer kidnaps their lifeless play thing i.e. Blake Lively all hells breaks loose...and by "hell" I mean the same old typical crime crap you expect from this middle of the road flick.  Salma Hayek appears occasionally to ham it up with her scream acting but fades away, thankfully we've also got John Travolta to screech about.  Yuck.

Kill Bill Vol. 2:  The first volume was all action, but with Volume 2 Kill Bill really lets loose, and struts out the meat of the melodrama.  Michael Madsen's Budd is soooooooo dang sad hole'd up in his Texas trailer tomb, sulking and shrinking from the bombardment of Larry Bishop's hurtful strip club jabs.  But he's still the only jerk in the whole saga to get one up on The Bride, and that makes him kind of a badass.  Then there's the Pai Mei's tutorial flashbacked at us while Kiddo zens her way outta that coffin.  And it's all building towards her final confrontation with her baby's daddy.  It's the perfect send off for David Caradine's career even if he refused to stop making movies for nearly another ten years.  Part 1 might be the more fun of the two, but it's here where the saga reaches its proper epic status.

Star Trek Into Darkness - 8 Minute Prologue:  Much has been made about Benedict Cumberbatch's villain.  Is he Khan?  Is he Gary Mitchell?  Is he really just some Starfleet nimrod named John Harrison?  Frankly, it doesn't matter at this point.  Everything I've seen from this movie has me pumped.  Not to mention that the 2009 film kicked some serious ass despite a serious amount of trepidation on this dork's part.  The 8 Minute preview continues to jab the internet troll community with its Cumberbatch identity questioning, but before Doctor Who's Noel Clarke gets an answer we flash to an unknown planet where Kirk & McCoy are hijinksing it up with some religious primitives.  The set up is very old school Original Series, but the colors of striking and Michael Giacchino's score is riveting.  I don't understand these Trekkies moaning about the underwater Enterprise are simply just missing out on the thrills.  Sure, this is not your Daddy's Star Trek (or even my Star Trek) but the franchise is genuinely benefitting from JJ Abrams' Star Wars worship.  Granted, I hope Into Darkness is more than just another cowboy punch 'em up and Eric Bana's Nero was perfectly fine as a Khan substitute.  Cumberbatch should be his own thing.

The Hobbit:  The fatal flaw in The Hobbit prequel is that it's a Hobbit prequel.  In writing The Hobbit first, JRR Tolkein was discovering the world of Middle Earth; he was building towards the Epic of The Lord of the Rings.  In the cinematic universe by starting out with The Fellowship and working backwards you're immediately taking away the power of the introductory story.  The Hobbit is not The Lord of the Rings.  It's a much smaller story with fewer stakes at play.  And when Peter Jackson decided to split the tiny book into a three part, nine hour epic a lot of padding had to be born.  The result is a bloated kid's story nearly reaching three hours and peppered with various orc decapitations.  Sure, a lighter tone for the whole family but I'm not really sure who this film is going to ultimately satisfy.  It's not bad.  But it's certainly not great.  Martin Freeman does a fine job imitating Ian Holm's Bilbo.  Andy Serkis is still stunning as Gollum.  The riddles in the dark set piece is easily the film's highlight.  And I did see the flick in the new fancy schmancy 48 frames per second.  It was extremely distracting for the first fifteen minutes, but after a while I got used to it.  Not sure I'm a member of the HFR converted, but I enjoyed the experience of trying something new.

--Brad