A Fistful of Product Placement! (Brad's Picks)

Show of hands, how many of you out there in Internetland are actually excited for The Internship?  Probably the same folks who are still waiting on that Wedding Crashers sequel.  Well, it's been eight years and Vince Vaughn hasn't appeared in anything worth your time.  At least Owen Wilson has Midnight in Paris and The Darjeeling Limited.  So this weekend's release of The Internship & The Purge marks the most lackluster release date of the summer; we're all just biding time till Man of Steel, and you're just going to see Furious 6 again anyway.  The only thing of note about The Internship is that it's one big commercial for Google - suck it Bing!  And it got me thinking about my own favorite bits of product placement throughout cinematic history.  The Ninth Gate proved the importance of Shell gasoline.  Captain America won the war thanks to Harley Davidson.  And we all recognize that Back to the Future was jsut about Marty chugging Pepsi.  But the below hidden commercials are the ones that had the most effect on me.  I saw these movies and I immediately hit the ABC store, the fast food chain, the gun shop, and the gas stations to get me a little taste.  U-S-A!  U-S-A!  U-S-A!

5.  James Bond's Favorite Scotch (Skyfall):  Trapped on Silva Island, James Bond is forced to partake in a deadly game of William Tell.  Before he takes his shot, the villainous Raoul Silva presents a glass of Macallan as Bond's favorite brand.  It's true!  At least if you've been paying attention to this latest outing.  Bond's already taken a splash of Macallan earlier in the film, and even Judi Dench's M gulps the brand.  Skyfall certainly worked on me.  After stepping out of the theater I found a 16 year old bottle for my own pantry, and I'm still saving up my pennies for the 1962 vintage seen in the shot above.  Give me a few years, it will be mine.  Sucker born every minute.

4.  White Castle Sliders (Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle):  After smoking some serious chiba, Harold & Kumar venture out into the night for an epic quest for White Castle's teeny tiny burgers.  But at every turn they are denied the greasy confection.  By the time this film completed its epic quest my mouth was watering, but growing up in the hell of Northern Virginia, there are no White Castles to invade.  To this day, I have never eaten at a White Castle.  It's on the bucket list.

3.  Taco Bell (Demolition Man):  Sylvester Stallone awakens in the utopian garden of San Angels in the happy, joy-joy year of 2032.  He discovers a saccharine future in which profanity has been outlawed, physical contact frowned upon, and Taco Bell is the only restaurant left standing after the devastating Franchise Wars.  I know what you're thinking, "Sounds good to me!  Burrito Boxes for Everybody!"  But the Taco Bell of the future is not simply dedicated to various wraps of ground beef.  They've finally branched out into proper fine dining.  What's my boggle?  Nothing, as long as I can still scarf a heap of delicious, powdery Doritos Locos Tacos.

2.  "The Most Powerful Handgun In The World" (Dirty Harry):  I'm not a gun guy.  Never gone to the range, never had the desire......well, that's not entirely true.  Movies can warp my brain.  Die Hard, Red Heat, The Outlaw Josey Wales, The Terminator, Robocop.  I watch a few fictional assaults and I get to craving the NRA.  But no movie has me contemplating fire power more than Don Siegel's Dirty Harry.  The urban nightmare surrounding Det. Harry Callahan is in desperate need of a vigilante clean sweep.  It's a world impossible to understand without your Smith & Wesson at your side.  It's wrong-headed, angry, and totally captivating for a peacenik like me.

1.  "That's One Big Twinkie" (Ghostbusters):  Armageddon is coming.  New York's psycho kinetic energy is rising astronomically, but how do you describe that impending doom to your latest Ghostbuster recruit?  With Hostess, of course.  I fear to describe to you how grotesquely gluttonous I become when I hear Egon describe the 35 foot long, 600 pound yellow behemoth.  Every time it sends me running to the gas station down the street.  Alas, Hostess has gone the way of the dodo.  But I'm told that the recipe survives, that one day another devilish company will produce the spongey delight.  We can dream.

--Brad

The Oscars 2013 - Predictions & Desires

The Oscars are a joke.  We all know this.  But let's just set that aside - like we do every year.  What I love about the Academy Awards is that it gives us a moment where we can just ramble on about movies with the regular people.  You know, those nice folks out there that don't devote hours & hours upon a nerd blog, obsessing over every frame and hidden reference of the latest Quentin Tarantino flick.  It's the Super Bowl of Cinema - and as is, they usually get all the nominations wrong and it's mostly just a fashion parade for US Weekly then it is an exploration of art.  That being said, I think the nominations are much stronger than they have been in year's past which I find rather amusing since I felt that 2012 was one of cinema's weakest.

BEST PICTURE:

AMOUR
ARGO
BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
DJANGO UNCHAINED
LES MISERABLES
LIFE OF PI
LINCOLN
SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
ZERO DARK THIRTY

This is the second year in a row where my Favorite Film of the Year got a Best Picture nomination, but like last year, my pick doesn't have a chance in snowy hell of taking home the little gold guy.  Django Unchained is not Quentin Tarantino's best film (that's Jackie Brown), but it is most certainly my favorite.  The pacing is choppy; some claim the lack of editor Sally Menke is to blame, but I think Tarantino is just doing what he does best - elevation through mimicry.  The Spaghetti Western is a genre defined through false starts & endings, and it's an aspect I cherish when done properly.  Django pulls the rug from under you multiple times and what feels sloppy to some feels like perfection to me.  We will never know what this film would look like if cut by Menke, but I genuinely feel like it wouldn't appear to be much different.  But Django Unchained is the film with the least likely chance to win.  It's genre, B Movie territory.  Strike One.  It's an extremely angry film.  Not the revenge drama some make it out to be.  This is not Kill Bill.  It's a Campbellian Hero's Journey.  The revenge aspect is on us, Django Unchained transforms the audience into Khan.  Strike two.  Finally, it's a Tarantino movie.  He's the new Hitchcock and he'll never take home a statue.  Strike three.

So, who gets it.  There are only two films of the nine nominations that I absolutely destested: Life of Pi & Les Miserables.  Their nominations are not surprising, especially when considering last year's Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, but Life of Pi is confusing mumbo jumbo & Les Miserables is a musical embarrassment.  Lincoln is my second favorite flick in the pack, sharp tight narrative highlighted by an outstanding lead performance.  Silver Linings Playbook is fun, sweet, romantic and a complete fantasy.  Amour is a beast of emotion.  No other film tortured me quite like that movie.  Beasts of the Southern Wild is beautifully odd world building with a firm backbone supplied by a six year old actress.  Zero Dark Thirty is CSI: Bin Laden.  An intense procedural deepened by our own 9/11 memories.  Argo seems to be the frontrunner at this point.  Fascinating, given Ben Affleck's lack of nomination in the Best Director category.  The last time a film took home Best Picture without even a director nomination was 1990's Driving Miss Daisy.  Argo is a solid flick.  I just don't love it.  The first half is intense as hell, and I love all the Hollywood craziness but I just can't get behind the final ten minutes.  The airport chase nonsense.  Yes, both Lincoln & Zero Dark Thirty have they're way with history, but this feels the most Hollywoody.  Still, far worse films have taken home the gold.

Prediction: Argo

Desire:  Django Unchained

BEST DIRECTOR

ANG LEE (Life of Pi)
BENH ZEITLIN (Beasts of the Southern Wild)
MICHAEL HANEKE (Amour)
STEVEN SPIELBERG (Lincoln)
DAVID O. RUSSELL (Silver Linings Playbook)

This is a tough category.  I'm gonna immediately dismiss Ang Lee cuz as stated above, I hated his movie.  But if I'm going to be fair it was fun to watch him play with technology - taking on James Cameron's 3D, David Fincher's digital zooms, and playfully experimenting in a similar fashion to his Hulk adaptation...and we all saw how well that went down (Screw it - I Love HULK!).  Silver Linings Playbook is a lot of quirky fun, but I found David O Russell continues push-in closeups to be rather annoying.  Steven Spielberg has an obvious mastery over his craft, but Lincoln's success mostly comes from Tony Kushner's screenplay and Daniel Day-Lewis' deep diving performance.  Benh Zeitlin's Beasts of a Southern Wild has the feel of a young man's camera - eagerness mixed with blunt whimsy.  He could be great someday, but he ain't there yet.  Michael Haneke is a mad man.  Sitting down to one of his films, you know your psyche is in danger.  Whether he's documenting a home invasion (Funny Games), the hidden violence of a pre-WWI village (The White Ribbon), or the slow death of a loved one (Amour), Haneke has been accused of relishing in human horror.  Maybe.  But what impresses me so much about Amour is its claustrophobia.  We're stuck in this tiny Parisian apartment.  One character is slowly deteriorating in front of us.  The other character is struggling to maintain his wife's last moments.  Haneke never lets the room become tiresome.  He finds new ways to shoot it, and concentrates the lens on the humanity of the structure.  It's a daunting screenplay for a director to tackle, but Heneke as both writer & director was obviously up to the task.

The question becomes though, with Ben Affleck out of the running, where do the Academy voters cast their ballot?  Zeitlen is too new to the game.  Haneke's an outsider and in their eyes its enough that the film will most likely take home Best Foreign Film.  Ang Lee certainly offers the visual feast and Life of Pi apes a lot of its praise from the novel's pre-owned enthusiasm.  So could Spielberg take Oscar home?  His last nomination was in 2007 for Munich, and he won in '99 for Saving Private Ryan & '94 for Schindler's List.  No.  I think Lincoln is not a significant enough departure from the Spielberg norm to land him back at the podium.  David O Russell lost to Tom Hooper in 2011; I think we make up for that now.  Silver Linings Playbook is not a showy picture, but neither was Hooper's The King's Speech, and performance can carry this category.  Plus, Hollywood mogul Harvey Wienstein knows how capture Oscars via politics.

Prediction:  David O. Russell

Desire:  Michael Haneke

BEST ACTOR

BRADLEY COOPER (Silver Linings Playbook)
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS (Lincoln)
HUGH JACKMAN (Les Miserables)
JOAQUIN PHOENIX (The Master)
DENZEL WASHINGTON (Flight)

Well, lets just yank Hugh Jackman out of this category immediately.  I thought he was atrocious.  The man can sing, he's proven that before, but the man is no Jean Valjean.  Especially when you have Colm Wilkinson, the real deal, putting him to shame in the Bishop cameo.  I guess Denzel Washington does a decent job as the alcoholic cokehead pilot in Flight, but the movie is so run-of-the-mill that to grant him any acknowledgement would give Zemeckis' live action pap too much credit.  Bradley Cooper has never been better than he is in Silver Linings Playbook, and I could see him winning if Harvey Weinstein manufactures a clean sweep for that movie.  Definitely possible.  I'd love to see Joaquin Phoenix take it; his turn as the sex starved madman in Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master is a masterpiece of anxiety, and makes Bradley Cooper's kooky nutjob look absolutely adorable.  But there is no question who's taking home Oscar this Sunday.  Daniel Day-Lewis puts in another one of his method absorption pieces as Abraham Lincoln.  I appreciated his choice of accent, going for realism and dropping the iconic stature we're used to seeing on the five dollar bill.  There is more humanity in his portrayal of Lincoln than we've yet experienced, he showcases the badass bravado we want from the great emancipator but I love the little moments with his bickering wife, and his war-thirsty son.  And if we weren't allowed to give it to him for Bill The Butcher than we most certainly give it to him for the 16th president.

Prediction:  Daniel Day-Lewis

Desire:  Daniel Day-Lewis

BEST ACTRESS

JESSICA CHASTAIN (Zero Dark Thirty)
JENNIFER LAWRENCE (Silver Linings Playbook)
EMMANUELLE RIVA (Amour)
QUVENZHANE WALLIS (Beasts of the Southern Wild)
NAOMI WATTS (The Impossible)

This category is even tougher than Best Director.  I don't know if you remember or care, but as 2012 was winding down and I had to put together my Dorkies, I could not list five female roles to save my life.  Since then I've managed to watch all the above flicks and I think that each of these nominees turned in killer performances.  As Hushpuppy, the adventurous orphan wandering the bayou wastelands of The Beasts of the Southern Wild, Quvenzhane Wallis delivers the most naturalistic realization.  Jessica Chastain is all macho bravado, a little too on the nose, but solid.  Naomi Watts is a tattered mess - flesh ripped, torn, and bleeding for nearly 90 minutes.  Jennifer Lawrence is the It Girl of the moment, and as much as I was unimpressed with her previous nomination for Winter's Bone, her dullfaced turn in The Hunger Games, and her sourdough smirk in X-Men First Class, I have to admit that I was captivated by her mentally unbalanced love interest.  And I think she might have this locked - and part of me wants to bet on all the Silver Linings Playbook nominations.  But Sunday is also Emmanuelle Riva's 86th Birthday.  Wouldn't it be a wonderful gift to win the big prize?  And her slow decay on screen is pure Oscar bait gold.  Utterly heartbreaking even if I think her partner, Jean-Louis Trintignant has the real winning role.

Prediction:  Jennifer Lawrence

Desire:  Emmanuelle Riva


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

ALAN ARKIN (Argo)
ROBERT DE NIRO (Silver Linings Playbook)
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN (The Master)
TOMMY LEE JONES (Lincoln)
CHRISTOPH WALTZ (Django Unchained)

Why is Alan Arkin on this list?  I mean, he did a fine job in Argo but there was absolutely nothing special about his character.  A Best Actor nomination for Ben Affleck would make more sense.  Robert De Niro is a lot of fun as the gambling addict father struggling to understand his son's crazy.  He manages to be sympathetic one moment, and infuriatingly obtuse the next.  It's been a long time since he's won the hearts of the Academy but I'm just not sure this role is showy enough to make them care again.  Phillip Seymore Hoffman is the internet critic's pick.  And he's darn good, but not a standout like his partner Joaquin.  Christoph Waltz gets my vote.  As the Obi Wan to Django's Luke Skywalker, King Schultz has all the happy mannerisms of the villainous Hans Landa (the role Waltz won for just a few years back) but pacts the film with warmth and understanding.  The Landa/Schultz coin is a showcase for Waltz's incredible talent.  Put him in every movie, I say.  Tommy Lee Jones, though?  He's grumpy, adorable, and powerful.  He's a miserable old bastard of righteousness in Lincoln, and the emotional wallop of the climax is delivered through his character.  I'd be perfectly happy to see him win.

Prediction:  Tommy Lee Jones

Desire:  Christoph Waltz


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

AMY ADAMS (The Master)
SALLY FIELD (Lincoln)
ANNE HATHAWAY (Les Miserables)
HELEN HUNT (The Sessions)
JACKI WEAVER (Silver Linings Playbook)

This is a less exciting race.  Jacki Weaver is perfectly fine as the delicate wife to Robert De Niro's bull in a china shop.  And it's lightyears away from the psychotic matriarch of Animal Kingdom, her previous nomination in 2011.  Another loser from that year was Amy Adams (The Fighter), and she's going down this year as well.  She's perfectly troubled as the wife of Hoffman's cult leader, but her best scene involves an epic handjob which of course makes it hard to showcase during the sizzle reel.  Sally Field is good in Lincoln.  But the character is a touch annoying.  The tight focus of Lincoln's screenplay doesn't allow for Mary Todd showboating, but there are one or two moments in the film that might land her on top.  I think Anne Hathaway is the winner though.  She's the only good thing in Les Miserables, and her snotty/teary rendition of "I Dreamed A Dream" will get her the win.  My pick, though, is Helen Hunt.  The Sessions is the type of indie darling that stormed Hollywood during the early 90s, but despite its twee narrative centered around John Hawkes' quadriplegic virgin, I found myself suckered by its sweetness.  And a lot of that has to do with her welcoming, forgiving, and accepting smile.  Not to mention her sexual sincerity.

Prediction:  Anne Hathaway

Desire:  Helen Hunt


ANIMATED FEATURE

BRAVE
FRANKENWEENIE
PARANORMAN
THE PIRATES! BAND OF MISFITS
WRECK-IT-RALPH

There is no denying that Brave is a lesser Pixar.  It's perfectly suitable, but the mother/daughter story is less interesting than the female empowerment quest that the trailer promised.  The Pirates! Band of Misfits is a ton of fun.  It's winky, jokey, and very British.  Wreck-It-Ralph is gleeful, but I was kinda hoping for a Who Framed Roger Rabit reference-a-palooza and I found the Candyland setting a bit claustrophobic.  Still, this seems to be the film that gets the most attention.  Frankenweenie has no business here.  It doesn't celebrate the oddity of youth, it mocks it.  And Tim Burton just needs to take a break from filmmaking for a while.  His ideas are played out.  Old.  Tired.  Boring.  Paranorman is everything that Burton was trying to do, but done successfully.  It celebrates the strange of youth, it tells kids that it's your weird, unique talents that make you special.  To ride ahead of the pack and not with the herd.  And it's properly spooky the way Halloween stories should be.

Prediction:  Wreck-It-Ralph

Desire:  Paranorman

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

5 BROKEN CAMERAS
THE GATEKEEPERS
HOW TO SURVIVE A PLAGUE
THE INVISIBLE WAR
SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN

As usual, the Best Documentary category is loaded with a lot of downers.   In 5 Broken Cameras, a Palestinian farmer records the Israeli occupation of his backyard.  Protests inevitably turn to violence.  Friends & family loose their lives.  The Invisible War is almost unfathomable with its nearly endless interviews of women raped while serving in the military.  I never managed to catch The Gatekeepers.  Can't comment on it.  How To Survive A Plague left me a weeping mess.  Following two bands of protest groups in late 80s New York while the Aids epidemic spread and politicians sat quiet.  Searching For Sugar Man is the frothiest story depicting the mysterious rise of a Detroit castoff in the music scene of South Africa.  While incredibly engaging it doesn't quite hold the terrifying punch of the other nominations.  For it to win over How To Survive A Plague seems as insulting as Driving Miss Daisy taken the big prize from the nominationless Do The Right Thing.

Prediction:  Searching For Sugar Man

Desire:  How To Survive A Plague

CINEMATOGRAPHY

SEAMUS MCGARVEY (Anna Karenina)
RALPH RICHARDSON (Django Unchained)
CLAUDIO MIRANDA (Life of Pi)
JANUS KAMINSKI (Lincoln)
ROGER DEAKINS (Skyfall)

Based on the trailers, Anna Karenina sure does look artificially pretty.  Spielberg's longtime collaborator Janus Kaminski knows how to fill a room full of light.  I think Life of Pi has the most attention for its animated beauty, but how much of that is Miranda's skill and how much is it the FX company?  Ralph Richardson would normally take home the glory for me and if this was Kill Bill in the hot seat than he most surly would.  However, Roger Deakins delivers the most beautiful Bond film in the franchise, and with it he proves that digital photography is the future.  Seriously, can you tell me that this does not look like film?  No.  The fiery Scottish moors.  Shanghai's neon assassination.  The gray windy skies of London.  An absolutely stunning action film.

Prediction:  Claudio Miranda

Desire:  Roger Deakins


ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

AMOUR (Michael Haneke)
DJANGO UNCHAINED (Quentin Tarantino)
FLIGHT (John Gatins)
MOONRISE KINGDOM (Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola)
ZERO DARK THIRTY (Mark Boal)

I won't drone on and on here.  You already read my Django Unchained rant.  I still feel it.  And I'm fighting myself from diving back into the theater for a fourth go around, the blu ray will be here soon.  I thought Flight was barely above an After School Special.  Amour is more about the performances than the screenplay, but the life brought into that tiny apartment started here on the page.  I'm happy to see Moonrise Kingdom get some love, but no one really seems to care.  I loved it.  But compared to previous efforts I think it's lesser Anderson.  Zero Dark Thirty is not going to be taking home any of the top awards, so if the Academy wants to throw it a bone it'll happen here.

Prediction:  Zero Dark Thirty

Desire:  Django Unchained

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

ARGO (Chris Terrio)
BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD (Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin)
LIFE OF PI (David Magee)
LINCOLN (Tony Kushner)
SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK (David O. Russell)

Another tough selection.  Argo will take home the Best Picture, but as stated above, I felt that the screenplay took one too many liberties with the event.  Life of Pi might nab this with its confounding, muddy morals.   No one has read the source material for Beasts of the Southern Wild, so that's out.  Silver Linings Playbook might have a shot, but I think it suffers the same problems as Beasts.  Lincoln is the obvious winner here.  Adapting Doris Kerns Goodwins' Team of Rivals was a beastly challenge, but Tony Kushner's choice to focus solely on the passing of 13th amendment was inspired.  Taking what could have been another blathering, sweeping biopic and transforming it into a taught, political thriller.  In that one month of January you get all the greatness & humanity of Lincoln boiled down to its essence.

Prediction:  Lincoln

Desire:  Lincoln

Olly Moss' 85 Years of Oscars

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (2/10/13-2/16/13)

Early in the week I got a sweet care package from the good folks over at the Warner Archive containing a handful of Jim Brown not-so-classics (Tick Tick Tick, Kenner, The Split, & The Slams) and the plan was to pound through them for Black History Month.  But my movie marathon has just not taken shape.  I consumed two of 'em and watched a couple other flicks, but this week was mostly about comic books.  The pleasure of the week had to be the third issue of Hellboy in Hell - the return of Mignola has proven to be grand indeed.  And the turd of the week goes to The Walking Dead's mid season return - what a stinker!

The Walking Dead - "The Suicide King":  This show has been defined by its peaks and valleys, and the final product tends to infuriate more often than it exhilarates.  Personal Beef #1:  After a rather intense cliffhanger conclusion (two months ago!) in which Merle & Daryl are forced into pit fighter combat, Rick & the gang suddenly appear and immediately free them from their death match.  Beef #2:  The faceless inhabitants of Woodbury loose their hateful, cagefight loving minds and inexplicably choose an inevitable demise in a zombie horde than chillax in the temporarily invaded compound.  And the guards don't want them to leave!?!?!  F that.  I say let this Marvel comics mob with their wishy washy dullard brains jump merrily into the rotting mouths of the undead, and be done with their simple asses.  Beef #3:  The last five minutes.  I won't spoil the absurdity here, but to say that it weakens Rick's character is an understatement that just doesn't fully capture my colossal annoyance.  It's a god damn travesty.  And where can this horrendous turn of events lead?  Nowhere good, I think.  My hope for this show is dwindling.  Especially when I have the brilliance of the source material right there on the shelf in front of me.

Tick...Tick...Tick...:  "If you're gonna kill me go ahead and get it over with, I'm just sorry it's not a man doin it." Jim Brown is the newly elected Sheriff of a rural southern town, the first black man to ever hold the position. Matching the righteous tone of the picture is an overbearing & extremely dated theme song that bonks you over the head every time something potentially heinous might occur. Jim Brown walks into a honky tonk - Theme Song! Jim Brown arrests a white man - Theme Song! Jim Brown faces off an angry mob - Theme Song! It's a bit much. And the film really doesn't feel like Jim Brown's movie the way it should. His Sheriff is so concerned with walking the line that he can't bear to break into violence. He's reserved. He's quiet. He does the right thing. I don't want that. George Kennedy, as his predecessor, is the brute of the film. He's allowed to show rage. And once he sides with Brown cuz "the law is the law" he gets to unleash some serious police brutality, barking and bashing on the racist assholes of the community. Tick...Tick...Tick is a solid enough film surrounding the powder keg of the human rights movement, but somehow a trashier B Movie flick like Roger Corman's The Intruder feels more honest. Tick...Tick...Tick is a message movie, and as is, it feels a little bit like a lie.

The Sour Lemon Score by Richard Stark:  After the lighthearted impracticality of The Black Ice Score, this twelfth Parker novel is a return to angry form for the series.  After a bank heist goes wrong and Parker's friends lie dead on the ground, our favorite professional thief trolls the East Coast hunting for George Uhl, the man who betrayed the score with the pull of a trigger.  But like most Parker novels, the man who seems the most problematic is not the real threat - enter psycho thug Matt Rosenstein.  With the introduction of his lady Claire, and some rather frivolous entries, it's nice to see Stark return to the unpleasant darkness of Parker's world and even more enjoyable to read the rage masked by Parker's professionalism.  This is the grit where Parker belongs.  Swift.  Logical.  Brutal.  And somewhat sad.  The Sour Lemon Score doesn't rank as high as The Hunter or The Outfit, but it does belong somewhere near the top of the middle.  I'm really looking forward to the next round of novels - I hear the build to Butcher's Moon is violent and severe.

All New X-Men #7:  The Young Cyclops wanders into the bank where The Old Cyclops stashes his cash and discoveries a sad note from the past...I mean, his future.  I freaking love this book.  Writer Brian Michael Bendis is taking what could potentially be a silly plot and rocking the time travel concept for all its worth; reminding this reader of the X-Men's self-righteous history while elevating the melodrama.  Plus, Wolverine's frustrated contempt towards young Cyke is hilarious and kinda heartwarming.  I don't like to see Mysteque setting her claws into the young X-Man and I really don't want him to become the dark figure that this seres will undoubtedly produce.

Iron Man #6:  Yes, I'm still reading this miserable book.  I guess I'm curious to see how Gillen takes ol' Shellhead to outer space and the internet banter surrounding Tony Stark's secret origin seems exciting enough.  But the sixth issue is just garbage.  Stark discovers a purple alien lady, and taking inspiration from Captain Kirk attempts to bed her.  Unfortunately, Stark sports a mustache and the purple woman vomits upon its discovery.  Uh huh, this is the type of wit we're forced to face month in and month out with this sophomoric nonsense.  There is some blather about the Phoenix Force, but I just can't get past the 'stache puker comedy.  Last month I said I wouldn't buy this issue and I make that promise again this week...but you know me, I'm gonna fold again.  I just really want to enjoy an Iron Man book.  Same could be said for Captain America.

Daredevil - End of Days #5:  Ben Urich has a chat with The Punisher while he rots behind bars, but as Ed Brubaker proved in his Bendis followup, Frank Castle is just as deadly in handcuffs as he is out of  them.  This issue also posits the resurrection of Matt Murdoch, in body and spandex.  Still, it does feel like it's meandering a bit, and I'm starting to get the sense that it can't possibly put a button on Bendis' epic run.  Which is a bummer - for this return to ultimately prove perfunctory would somewhat sully a perfect run of Daredevil comics.

Thunderbolts #4:  As I feared, this issue takes a bit of the punch from last issue's killer final page, but I'm still enjoying General Ross' assault on Katya Jaya.  And like with the book above, Frank Castle is the all star.  Super Heroes have nothing on a man willing to strap a land mine to his chest and play bear hug.  And Deadpool gets to enjoy his giggles.  What I'm really looking forward to is an Elektra/Punisher team-up - or will it just be a straight up killfest?

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #20:  Miles Morales faces off against his first true Spider-Man villain when the Venom symbiote shows up on his doorstep looking to consume Miles' father for a case of mistaken identity.  Is it Eddie Brock under the goo?  Is Venom just out for Spidey blood or is there a deeper purpose?  Not sure yet, but I'm looking forward to some super hero smackdown and I've got my fingers crossed that Jessica Drew is gonna appear for some much needed backup.

Winter Soldier #15:  After Ed Brubaker's disappointing exit, writer Jason Latour picks up the reins and delivers a merry little book.  Not much time is spent on the Black Widow memory wipe fallout (that seems to be happening a lot right now in the Marvel universe) as Bucky jumps right into another evil Hydra plot (there seems to be a lot of those too).  But where the narrative feels a little too familiar, the tone of the adventure is frothy fun and that is definitely refreshing.  Artist Nic Klein has a punchy pulp style and I love his half split Hydra goons sprouting Lovecraftian tentacles.  And who does't love a POV shot as Night of the Hunter brass knuckles come flying at you?  Still waiting to see if the story actually captivates, but it's a fun book and that's something Brubaker's Cap stories weren't...at least in the last two out of his eight year run.  I hate to write that - I'm team Brubaker - but it's bloody true.

Hellboy in Hell #3:  I read a lot of Mike Mignola interviews building up to the release of last year's Hellboy in Hell.  In most of them he stated how he was currently interested in telling short, little stories set in the underworld.  And he also stated that the first three issues of Hellboy in Hell would put the final button on Hellboy's Beast of the Apocalypse problem.  I just could not believe that.  For twenty years, Hellboy has been struggling to shed his apocalyptic crown - how could three simple issues wrap up all that brooding angst?  Well, damn.  Mignola has done just that.  Hellboy's certainly not free and clear from his doom & gloom and he's still stuck down under, but it does appear that the 666 mantel has been shed.  And it's all done in a logical and satisfying manner.  I'm shocked and stoked.  Plus, this issue also sees the introduction of HB's siblings, a look at his father's present state, Leviathan, and the Prince of Darkness himself.  Easily one of my most favorite single issues from the series.

Kenner:  Jim Brown plays an American sailor searching the Karma confused streets of Bombay for the man who murdered his partner.  As he bumps into some awkwardly Westernized interpretations of hinduism he also stumbles upon a young boy searching for his American father.  The two form an antagonistic friendship that's tested even further when the boy's mother inexplicably falls for Jim Brown.  I wish I could report a lost classic, but Kenner is dullsville at best and painfully boring at worst.  I will say that there is one surprising twist that got me to sit up and take notice, but by the time the train barrels through the screenplay it's far too late for me to care about a surprise death.

Skyfall:  The blu ray is truly stunning, and I stand by my previous statements that this is the most beautiful looking James Bond film to date.  The climactic Straw Dogs siege on the moors, the high rise Shanghai assassination, the hotel room shave - this is movie art ready for the frames on your walls.  And Javier Bardem's teasing psychopath is the most fun we've had with a Bond villain since the days of Sean Connery and Goldfinger.  Sure, the pacing seems a little clunky  as we jump from one interrogation to the next, but I love all the banter, and the homefront assault adds a nice change of p(L)ace for the typically international intrigue.

I Come In Peace (aka Dark Angel):  "Fuck You Space Man!"  I haven't seen this film in nearly twenty years, but thanks to the miracle of On Demand I was able to bask in its bizarro beauty one more time.  Dolph Lundgren is a street wise detective investigating the villainous White Boys gang, and when he's not distracted by his eclectic art collection he's spewing pithy one-liners.  After his partner is executed he's saddled with Brian Benben's spit shined G-Man and the buddy cop pair quickly find themselves involved in an intergalactic drug war...wait, what?  Yeah.  So one giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to harvest drugs from our brains, while another giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to kick that one's ass.  Yeah, ok.  That's bonkers.  But AWESOME!  I Come In Peace is an incomprehensible mess, but it's also loaded with endless explosions and gratuitous intergalactic murder - can't beat that, right?  Made at the tail end of the 1980s, the film desperately wants to ape some of that Walter Hill 48 Hours charisma and in their own way Benben & Lundgren succeed through sheer oddity.

Justified - "Foot Chase":  So far, this episode is one of the season's highlights.  In attempt to beat Walton Goggins to the punch - the punch being the footless Gerald McRaney (another Deadwood alum as well as the better half of Simon & Simon) - Timothy Olyphant and Jim Beaver have themselves a federal/local law team-up.  Olyphant's not sure he can trust Beaver given his seedy history with Goggins, but the two eventually form a jabbing repartee that brought great smiles to this Bullock/Ellsworth fan.  McRaney appears not to be the mysterious Drew Thompson, but I wouldn't count those chickens before they roost and I'm hoping that McRaney still has a large role to play for this season - whether he's one-legged or not.

The Walking Dead - Book One:  Friday night was the 9th meeting of the Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club and we finally convinced enough folks to dive into Robert Kirkman's zombie opus.  I was really looking forward to revisiting this series, especially given my seemingly unsurmountable hatred of the last tv episode, and I'm thinking I'll plow my way through the rest of the big hardcovers.  Taking that into account, I was a little surprised at my lackluster enthusiasm for the first two arcs in this series.  Kirkman doesn't quite have a handle on these characters just yet, and even though all of his comics are bogged down with expository dialogue, this book is practically bursting at the seams with blah blah blah.  For the first story, I was really only moved by the Jim character - the idea that this quiet mechanic has suffered so much and the moment when he unleashes his rage it results in his quiet death.  Very sad.  But where as the television show seems to drone on and on with some of these themes, this first book rushes through them.  Hershel's farm is but a drop in the bucket, just when some serious philosophizing begins the barn doors are opened and the walkers burst out.  I remember falling head over heels with this book during the first trade, but as my memory reworks itself I'm thinking my love truly doesn't set in till they get to the prison.  So on to hardcover number 2.  For the most part, the group enjoyed this book but only a couple folks seemed interested in pursuing further issues.  Curious.  But ya know what?  Invincible is easily the superior saga and no one in the group got that except Matt & myself.

Batman #17:  Scott Snyder's supposedly epic Death of the Family arc comes to a close and I find myself a little disappointed.  That being said, I thought this issue pulled off a lot more drama than I was expecting given my lukewarm response to previous issues, and Greg Capullo's art continues to amaze with its ghastly beauty.  What's under the dinner dome?  The answer is nasty and genuinely surprising...even if five pages later status quo veil is dropped.  But when you compare this tale to other Snyder vehicles like The Court of Owls or The Black Mirror, it really offers nothing new to the Bat mythos.  Joker is a crazy bastard.  Batman won't kill him.  The never ending stalemate continues.  I'm happy Snyder got this character out of his system, and I'm hoping he can move on to some new territory.  More original characters, less sandbox whimsy.

Fatale #13:  "She'd known for a long time there was more than one layer to the sky."  I have yet to be disappointed by Fatale.  Jumping hundreds of years into the past, we get a glimpse at a creature very similar to Josephine and the witchfinder cult so desperate to carve her up.  There are a few clues as to the mystical origin at the center of this noir story, but these clues offer more mindbending questions than answers.  This issue still has that 40s dread, but artist Sean Phillips is really getting his Hammer Horror freak on here and I can perfectly imagine Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee walking around inside these panels.  As much as I enjoyed last month's stand alone issue, #13 is even better.  Cannot wait for The Wild West excursion next month.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  I'm pretty sure that I would have enjoyed this book if not for artist Chris Bachalo.  I've never been a fan; his style seems to be a muddy bastardization of manga and I just can't grasp how his characters bend & wobble all over the page.  Writer Brian Michael Bendis attempts to explore the dirty revolution of this current Cyclops dictator, and the mole revealed on the final page is definitely intriguing.  But Uncanny X-Men lacks the joy of its sister book All New X-Men, and if Bachalo is on  for the long haul than I'm not sure I can handle his squishy interpretation.  As with several other Marvel Now books, I'll give it six months before making my final decision.

Powers - Bureau #1:  Half the time I love Brian Michael Bendis (Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, All New X-Men) and the other half of the time I find him completely and utterly frustrating (New Avengers, Avengers, Mighty Avengers), and Powers is the very personification of this annoyance.  There are books in this series that I find absolutely breathtaking (Supergroup, The Sellouts, Forever) but then there are stories that refuse to continue the earth shattering events of previous books.  Take this new relaunch for example.  In the last book the world seemed to have been completely devastated a la BPRD Hell On Earth, but now we see that it was just a localized event and the federal government is back to the business of enforcing Powers laws.  Just another crime of the week.  Dammit.  Let's get back to Walker's crazy ass Conan The Barbarian past.  Once you hit the Forever arc there should be no turning back, but Bendis seems to refuse forward momentum.  So very frustrating.

Fantastic Four #4:  My favorite issue from Matt Fraction's run so far.  Not as good as FF or Hawkeye, but I appreciated the time shifting structure of this story.  Reed is writing an apology note of sorts to Sue, explaining his POV at the time of their first meeting and how it parallels their current planetary adventure.  He's basically using a lot of words to say he's sorry for hiding their cellular disease.  But I don't think Sue's going to just role over with hugs & kisses.  Fraction seems to be amping up the family melodrama and I'm a sucker for that stuff as much as I am the inter-dimensional science-fiction.  Basically Fraction is showing us what the essential Marvel book looks like and you should all be on board.  Excelsior!

Archer & Armstrong #7:  Another solid issue, but not big shocks or awes.  Archer, Armstrong, and The Eternal Warrior all seem to be on the same side at this point despite some passive aggressive banter and some not so passive death threats.  If I had any complaint at all it would be this new Geomancer character.  She's sassy and kooky and I want none of that.  Hopefully she's just a storytelling device and not a new addition to the team.

Rome - Season 2:  "I have the same sickness."  And you thought the stabbing murder of Julius Caesar was rough?  The second season of Rome kicks off with our two favorite Centurions descending even further down their personal hells and they leave a massive trail of bloody corpses in their wake.  Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a murder as brutal or hateful as the one found in the second to last episode of this season - now, that is how you choke somebody to death.  Granted the rise & fall of Marc Antony (and that Cleopatra slut) is a little less glamorous than the mighty Caesar's savage execution, but actors Kevin McKidd & Ray Stevenson are a perfect set of badasses to follow, even if they are the most pathetic and deplorable set of friends.  And I'd rank their bromance right up there with Denny Crane & Alan Shore.  That's love, baby.

--Brad

Unused Skyfall Poster Is The Most Badass

Empire Online recently unveiled this supremely badass, and sadly unused, poster for Skyfall.  I guess I can understand why.  Albert Finney's appearance in Skyfall is very much last act, but dang it! I'd really love to have this hanging on my apartment wall.  Finney with a Shotgun.  Nothing much cooler than that.

--Brad

The 2012 Dorkies - The Best & Worst of Cinema (Brad's Picks)

I saw 94 new films released in 2012.  That's the lowest number of films I've devoured in a single year since the early 2000s.  My heart just wasn't in it this year.  Why is that?  Well, for the first half of the year (with a few exceptional exceptions) I suffered one horrendous disappointment after the other.  In a dork temper tantrum I let some movies slip by my radar.  In year's past I would have been rushing out to see The Master on 70 mm.  I would have kicked down doors for John Hawkes' quadriplegic indie smash, The Sessions.  I would've driven miles to hear the rockin accordion music of Holy Motors.  But having my heart broken by John Carter, Prometheus, Brave, etc kinda took the wind out of my sails.  Thankfully, as the year came to a close and I started choking down as many movies as I could, I found a great many films that I absolutely adored and I'm quite pleased with my Top Ten list.  It should be noted though that I'm not all that confident in the order of films past slot number 5.  These lists are always arbitrary, but this year it feels even more so.

But before we jump into this year's awards I want to take a quick look back at 2011.  As is often the case, opinions change over time.  I'm still madly and completely in love with Martin Scorsese's Hugo & Joe Cornish's Attack The Block, but as 2011 blended into 2012 there was one film I watched over and over again, and with each subsequent viewing, loved it more and more.  So the first Dorkie of 2012 must go to...

The "Hey Girl" Revised Best Film of 2011 Award - Drive:  I watched Nicholas Winding Refn's violent crime drama several times in 2012 (and the day I bought the blu I watched it back to back with itself).  It's slick, cool, and painful.  There's barely a narrative, and it does play a little like style over substance, but Ryan Gosling keeps it from devolving into boring drivel.  He's got the puppy dog eyes for Carey Mulligan & family, and when their sweet daydream is threatened those eyes go rabid, the fists clench, and a whole bunch of scum gets pulverized.  Albert Brooks is the twinkling, knife plunging psychopath at the top of the beanstalk, and his Chinese food conversation with Gosling's Driver ranks right up there with my all time favorite suspense conversations.  I mean no disrespect to Hugo or Attack The Block, but if I'm gonna be honest, Drive turned out to be my favorite film of last year.  So keep that in mind when nitpicking the below...

TOP TEN FILMS OF 2012

10.  Killing Them Softly - A lot has been made about the politics of this film.  And it does hit the economic crisis nail on the head incessantly and, yeah, pretentiously.  But I don't care about that.  This film is just so perfectly ugly.  Scoot McNairy and Ben Mendelsohn are the dimmest bulbs of gross criminal stupidity I've ever encountered at the movies.  Break out the Darwin awards, we've got a couple of real winners.  And the resulting horror that's bestowed upon poor goombah Ray Liotta, I don't think I've seen a beatdown as brutal as the one bestowed upon that whiney schmuck.  Brad Pitt does his uber cool routine and that's always fun.  James Gandolfini is also wonderful as the sadsack hitman drunk of booze and hookers.  But for me Killing Them Softly is perfectly summed up in that three second shot of Ben Mendelsohn trying to contain a car full of shit exploding canines.  So gross.  So sad.  So much depressing fun.

9.  Moonrise Kingdom - In some ways, this is my least favorite Wes Anderson film.  However, that still qualifies it as one of 2012's very best.  Anderson has perfected the beauty of his camera.  No one can shoot an absolutely artificial set as lovingly as this man, and no one can pepper those dioramas with adorably fictitious approximations of truthful characters.  Everything feels crafted, but magically, Anderson mines real emotions from his creations.  The love story between Sam & Suzy is more heartfelt than any dozen Hollywood romcom pairings, and their runaway adventure feels just as perilous as the most ridiculous Romancing The Stones.

8.  Dredd - I know what you're thinking.  "Brad, how can you possibly put Dredd on your Top Ten and exclude The Raid: Redemption?"  Well, the simple fact is that this is Judge Dredd.  I repeat, this IS Judge Dredd.  Not one trace of "I Knew You'd Do That" Stallonery.  Ok, ok.  So maybe this Dredd is not as fascist or as horrible a human being as he should be, but Karl Urban perfectly captures the voice, the frown, and the attitude of Mega City One's greatest lawgiver - it's a performance as perfect as his DeForest Kelley possession.  And the film relishes in the brutality of action cinema; bullets tear through bodies and walls while the collateral damage gets chucked from the balcony.  This is the nostalgic Hard R Action Film I keep hoping from The Expendables.

7.  Lincoln - There is no other film on my Top Ten that I'm more surprised to see than Steven Spielberg's latest bit of hero worship.  But this is not the sweeping, cram-it-all-in biopic I was expecting.  Instead, this is an epic political exploration of Lincoln's life during the month of January 1865; the screenplay's focus allows for a mythologizing (and humanizing) of Abraham Lincoln we've never before experienced on film.  I don't think I really understand the man behind the president anymore than I did before, but there's definitely a curiosity there now that didn't exist before.  Daniel Day-Lewis does indeed deliver another transformative performance, and it manages to scrape nobility, paternity, and adorability (seriously, how cute is his storytelling).  Plus, you've got this amazing entourage of character actors parading throughout the film.  David Strathairn, James Spader, Tim Blake Nelson, John Hawkes, Hal Holbrook, Jackie Earl Haley, Bruce McGill, Jared Harris, Michael Stuhlbarg, Walton Goggins - most of them decked out in the most amazing facial hair!  And then there's Tommy Lee Jones, kicking ass yet again as the film's heart and soul.  I am so happy (and surprised) to announce Lincoln as one of Steven Spielberg's finest efforts.

6.  Skyfall - Since Daniel Craig has taken over the mantel each James Bond film has found its way onto my Top Ten (yes, even Quantum of Solace).  I'm not exactly sure when it happened (it certainly wasn't in childhood), but 007 has become one of my Must Have franchises and Skyfall ranks right up there with From Russia With Love and Goldfinger.  Director Sam Mendes and Cinematographer Roger Deakins have delivered the most beautifully shot film of the series (those Scottish Moor frames like the one above belong on my wall), and Daniel Craig gives his strongest and most complex turn yet.  Also Javier Bardem is Craig's first true Bond villain, chewing up the scenery as the sexually torturous, snaggletoothed Silva.  Several folks out there in Internetland have drawn comparisons to Heath Ledger's Joker and I do see a lot of the Clown Prince in Bardem's beastie...but it's more of the Caesar Romero variety.  He's just having so much fun being bad.  And I have just as much fun watching him smile and sneer his way through bloodshed.  And as much as I love the globetrotting adventure, I was thrilled to finally get a flick in which Bond had to fight for the Queen while actually on her soil.

5.  Looper - I had to dwell on this one for a while.  And I needed at least two viewings of the film before I settled on its quality.  It just wasn't what the trailers had promised, and I really wanted a kick ass time travel story from the director of the genre obsessed Brick.  Looper delivers on the time travel stuff, but it skirts the pesky minutia to the fringes of the screenplay and instead focuses on a very human horror story less in common with The Terminator and more akin to the emotions found in the very best Twilight Zone episodes.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis are phenomenal as young & old Joe, and their bitter, snarky conversation at the center of the film is filled with as much self-depricating humor as it is tension.  This is excellent sci-fi, but it's even better actory melodrama.

4.  The Dark Knight Rises - This also gets my vote for the most unfairly maligned movie of the year.  Is it as good as Batman Begins?  No.  Is it as good as The Dark Knight?  No.  Do I wish they handled a few points differently?  Hell yes.  But dammit, Christopher Nolan's Caped Crusader Trilogy is one of the greatest gifts ever given to comic book fanboys and The Dark Knight Rises is still an excellent conclusion to a super hero saga.  I love Tom Hardy's Bane.  Something I cannot say about his comic book counterpart.  I love the voice.  I love the swagger.  I love the Break The Bat sewer fight.  The first film was Bruce Wayne's coming-of-age, the second film was the cost of his creation, and the third film is his legacy bestowed on Gotham.  And the film is so damn big!  How can you not appreciate the scope of that third act.  Hundreds of extras clashing in the streets of Gotham; Batman & Bane punching it out on the courthouse steps, and a "Somedays You Just Can't Get Rid Of A Bomb" countdown to doom.  This is David Lean level spandex, and we're going to be obsessing over these three films for the rest of our lives.

3.  The Grey - The first film of 2012 to rock me to my core, and for the longest time I thought it was going to forever sit handsomely on the top of the heap.  Liam Neeson gives his greatest performance as the suicidal wolf puncher forced to fight for life in a winter wastelands after his company plane disintegrates over Alaska.  Part To Build A Fire, part Quint's Indianapolis speech from Jaws.  All man. But it's not all grizzly wolf attacks and campfire bravado.  Buried in its heart is the year's most painful love story, and a heroic one-man battle against despair.

2.  The Avengers - The most rousing theatrical experience I had all year.  As a long time comic book geek, Joss Whedon's Avengers was a straight up revelation.  We've had a lot of super hero flicks in the last couple of decades, but none has so perfectly captured the medium as well as this Damn Yankees Marvel mashup.  And I really didn't think there was a hope in hell of that happening.  Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America.  They're a bunch a fun flicks.  But they're nothing great.  The Avengers is Great.  It juggles a large ensemble of icons, gives each of them they're moment, and even redefines a few of them better than anywhere else in pop culture - Bruce Banner's "I'm Always Angry" is a declaration we've been waiting eons to hear from the four colored variety.   The real question is where do we go from here.  Can an Iron Man 3 or Guardians of the Galaxy possibly realize the promise given with the credits' tag?  I have hope.  They've already proved the impossible, just do it again Marvel.

1.  Django Unchained - Quentin Tarantino pulled it off.  He's been dancing around the Western his entire career, and now that he's finally submerged himself fully into the genre he's manufactured one of its greatest products.  The film acts as a revenge fantasy for its audience while the screenplay focuses on a hero's quest worthy of Joseph Campbell's analytics.  Similar to Inglourious Basterds, Tarantino gives us the opportunity to face humanity's worst atrocities through the filter of blood drenched cinema and delivers a smiley faced triumph more successful in addressing our historical shame than 25 Amistads or 50 Glorys.  That very idea might disgust some viewers out there, but sometimes the best way to understand history is to couch hard lessons in popular entertainment.  But enough of that preachy soapbox mumbo jumbo. Django Unchained really does work as a straight up Western adventure - it ain't High Noon, but it's a great companion for the nightmare worlds of the Spaghetti Western.


HONORABLE MENTIONS (in alphabetical order):  Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Cabin in the Woods, Haywire, The Hunter, Kill List, Lawless, Paranorman, Seven Psychopaths, 21 Jump Street)
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Best Director - Quentin Tarantino (Django Unchained):  Earlier this year when I was sitting in Hall H at the San Diego Comic Con listening to QT yammer on about his latest opus, I remember having serious doubts as to whether or not he was going to be able to pull off this goofy looking Southern.  The footage shown there was a mash of comedy and violence, something not unfamiliar to the Tarantino fan, but I couldn't connect-the-dots between the Blazing Saddles buffoonery of those pseudo-Klansman bickering over eyesight and the explosive bags of blood bursting from Django's victims.   And how about all those big ego actors he'd be dealing with: the scenery butchering Leonardo DiCaprio, the too cool for school Jaime Foxx, the gargantuan gesticulating of Christophe Waltz, and the mean ass staredowns of Samuel L Jackson.  Could all these guys possibly gel together in a love letter to Sergio Corbucci?  But everything fits.  The good, the bad, the weird, the ugly, the seriously  f'd up.  Sure, you're gonna wince but only in the places the man wants you to wince.  Part of me thinks it's still too early to make this declaration, but after a couple viewings of Django, I think it might be his greatest achievement.

Best Leading Male Performance - Liam Neeson (The Grey):  If you've read more than three or four posts from this blog than you know we here at ITMOD are crazy for Neeson.  And in particular we are crazy for old man killing machine Neeson.  Films like Taken, The A Team, Unknown, Taken 2 = Grizzled Gospel.  And I was as pumped as the next movie maniac to see Lee Marvin Neeson bottle punch the hell outta a pack of shark wolves.  But that's not what we got.  Instead we get heaps of introspective narration, furrowed brows, and an epic internal battle for survival equal to the external struggle.  And Neeson owns the heartbreak as well as the ferocity.

Best Leading Female Performance - Quvenzhane Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild):  Was it me, or was 2012 an absolutely horrible year for female roles?  Maybe I'm just not watching the right movies, but as far as I could tell there was only one option for this category and it was six year old Quvenzhane Wallis.  Narrowly missing my Top Ten films of 2012, Beasts of the Southern Wild centers on the ferocious performance of its young lead; a child enraptured by the wonders and terrors of her environment.  And only at the age of six could an actor give such an honest portrayal of excitement, fear, sadness, and joy.  When she shows her father that she's capable of "Beasting It," it feels like a genuine accomplishment.  Beasts of the Southern Wild is a mesmerizing fantasy - Mad Max's Where The Wild Things Are.

Best Supporting Male Performance - Leonardo DiCaprio (Django Unchained):  Was there an uglier character portrayed on film this year?  Hmmmm...well, Sam Jackson's Stephen might be the only other contender.  Although part of the appeal of Leo's plantation monster is that we've never seen anything as loathsome from the Titanic star before.  He's been stretching his muscles of late with his Scorsese marathoning and the broken hearted Cobb, but Calvin Candie really is a horse of a different color.  And that color is "Let's Beat The Living Crap Outta Him Before He Gets Us."  But Leo gives the beast a few glimpses of weakness - there's that sad-child fireside conversation with Stephen and his creepy pecking kisses with his sister; DiCaprio never lets the veil of Master slip for long, but when he does its bitterly telling and its those lapses that only strengthen Candie's threat of violence.  So maybe it's time to stop referring to him as the "Titanic star."

Best Supporting Female Performance - Charlize Theron (Snow White and the Huntsman):  Ok.  So I can't really say I loved this film, or even liked it...but I did enjoy the crazybrains hell outta Charlize Theron's ridiculously affected mad bitch queen.  From her bonkers villain voice to her wailing screams of contemptuous hatred for Kirsten Stewart...um, I mean Snow White.  Of course, Theron's placement here definitely benefits from the crappy year for lady parts, but I also really did appreciate the joy that Theron is obviously having at playing such a cartoon.  Too bad the rest of the cast wasn't in on the joke.

Best Poster - The Dark Knight Rises:  Midnight release IMAX posters were all the rage this year.  John Carter, The Amazing Spider-Man, Skyfall.  IMAX pulled out all the stops for these little one sheets, but my absolute favorite was Tom Hardy's big ugly mug print.  And as an added bonus, we get a little Batman cowl Olly Mossed into Bane's brow.  Creepy, moody, and celestially gigantic.

Best Mimic - Josh Brolin (Men In Black III):  By the time of its release I don't think anyone really cared about another Men In Black sequel.  I most certainly did not.  And as a film it was serviceable.  Popcorn.  Chow it down, forget it.  But what I haven't been able to dismiss this year was yet another badass Josh Brolin performance.  Similar to what Karl Urban did in 2009's Star Trek, Brolin nearly possessed the spirit of his subject - Tommy Lee Jones.  He's so dang good in the movie that when Jones is absent for nearly the entirety of the flick you barely even notice cuz he's talking right outta Brolin's mouth.  Truly remarkable.

Best Bilbo - W.N. Bilbo (James Spader):  Sorry Martin Freeman.  You're a perfectly fine Hobbit, but you're trapped in a been-there-done-that franchise lacking the shine (as well as the grandeur) of the original Rings trilogy.  And frankly, James Spader is just too damn charming as the swarthy political hitman hamming his way to the right votes.  He's probably the most cartoonish character in Spielberg's oscar bait but he brings some much needed levity to Congress' high stakes poker game.

Quote of the Year - "Fuck You Science!" (21 Jump Street):  Here was another shock of 2012.  That god awful looking 21 Jump Street remake was actually pretty damn funny.  Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill are a couple of nimrod buddy cops atempting to navigate the bizzaro world of modern day high schoolers - not just jocks, nerds, and goths anymore.  And I found myself shocked at how much I related to their plight, this ain't Kansas anymore Toto.  But where 21 Jump Street won me was during Tatum's drug freakout, and his all out assault on the chemistry whiteboard.  And this beautiful quote led to the next Dorkie...

The "Hey, I Don't Hate Your Guts Anymore!" Award - Channing Tatum:  2009.  GI Joe Rise of Cobra.  One of my most hated summer blockbuster atrocities ever.  That hate quickly bled over to its loathsome meathead lead.  And for a couple of years I kept precious guard on that hate.  But a funny thing started to happen in January of this year.  First, I really enjoyed Steven Soderbergh's jazzy actioner Haywire, and Channing Tatum had a solid, if small role in that film.  Then Matt & I did that gutbusting double feature of Casa Di Me Padre & 21 Jump Street.  Twenty minutes into the second film and I was rollicking with laughter, most of it caused by People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.  And then the next thing I know I'm streaming Tatum's personal stripper odyssey, Magic Mike...AND really enjoying the heck outta the Frankenstein monster parallels.  So, like Tom Cruise and Nicolas Cage before him, Channing Tatum moves into that weird category of actor I once hated but now adore.  Can't wait for GI Joe 2.

DVD/Blu Ray Release of the Year - Johnny Guitar:  Yep, yep, yep.  There were a lot of brilliant home releases scrabbling for your dollars this year.  Criterion unleashed the glory of Godzilla.  Universal spent top dollar on its astounding JAWS transfer.  Shout Factory unveiled Scream Factory and gifted the world with the miracle that is the Halloween III Special Edition.  But the discovery that impressed me the most was this gorgeous Western melodrama released late this summer from Olive Films.  Despite some serious prodding from fellow film geeks over the years, I had never before seen this brooding gem.  Joan Crawford stars as a saloon owner who refuses to be bullied outta town by the local land baron royalty.  In walks Sterling Hayden's guitar strumming stranger to champion her stubborn cause.  But this is Joan's movie.  And she's burning rage.  One of the most unique entries in the genre.

THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OF THE YEAR!

5.  Brave - This is not a bad movie.  It's a good movie.  It's just not the great movie I was hoping, - expecting from Pixar.  Brave had one of the most stirring trailers of 2011 and it promised a rising adventure involving a rebellious lass and a quest to slay a tyrannical monster bear.   In actuality, it's less about a girl discovering womanhood through manly man-man swordplay and more about a daughter learning to understand her mother's worries and vice versa.  Meh.  Not bad.  But I wanted the kickass myth maker.

4.  The Amazing Spider-Man - What a bunch of drivel.  I kinda liked it in the theater, but watching it on the small screen, I pretty much hated this needless reboot.  Andrew Garfield coulda been a decent Spidey, he definitely plays the jackass wisecracker under the hood pretty well.  And Emma Stone is a decent enough Gwen Stacey to idolize.  But despite the appearance of chemistry, there is none.  It's just awkward stumbles with the occasional "ums" and "ahs."  No real dialog is ever exchanged between them.  The film promises an untold story, but despite hints of Parker family tragedy it's all tease and no payoff.  Just more CGI jumpy hoppy effects and a whole lotta snore set pieces.  And for those trying to tell me this is better or grittier than the Sam Raimi stuff, I remind you of those ridiculous New Yorker Construction Cranes and the absolute goofballness of C Thomas Howell.

3.  The FP - I had high hopes for this Alamo Drafthouse release.  I was completely giddy over the idea that a post-apocalyptic society would fight its gang wars using Dance Dance Revolution cage matches. The trailer had that whole "So Bad It's Good" thing going for it.  Well, it turns out it was just bad.  And not even that bad.  Just kinda crappy forgettable.  Oh well.

2.  Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance - Ah, if you were reading this blog earlier in the year than you found two Dorks obsessed with the idea of the Crank brothers directing Nicolas Cage's Johnny Blaze.  I mean, just think of the levels of insanity you could have gotten from the guys who imagined Chev Chelios' gangland massacre marathon?  Instead, we get a fairly predictable entry in super (anti-)hero cinema.  There are flairs of whacko creativity and some amazing rollerblade camera work, but there's none of that zealous Crank antagonism.  It's just bland.

1.  Prometheus - No other film in 2012 crushed my spirits quite like Ridley Scott's Alien prequel.  While attending my first San Diego Comic Con in 2011, I went Beatles fangirl squeel crazy at the footage they unraveled in Hall H.  It was beautiful, enticing, and seemingly totally in the spirit of the 1979 original.  Sitting in the theater, finally witnessing the atrocity on the big screen, I finally realized the illusion of Hall H.  Everything shown there looks amazing.  But it's a magic show, just like regular run-of-the-mill trailers can be.  In actuality, Prometheus is an absolutely gorgeous science-fiction spectacle with an equally, unbelievably dumb script.  The characters are shallow.  The ideas seemingly epic, but actually teeny tiny.  It's all questions, questions, questions and no answers, just a shoulder shrug.

THE WORST FILMS OF THE YEAR!

5.  Underworld: Awakening - The first film I saw in 2012 turned out to be one of the dullest.  The fourth entry in the Underworld franchise (I cannot believe there are four of these things, people like me really need to stop showing up for this garbage) is also its most forgettable.  And that's saying a lot considering I only remember three or four minutes from the third film's prequel.

4.  The Hunger Games - So let me get this straight?  The most beautiful girl in all of the post-apocalypse is loved by all the boys, and worshiped by all the population cuz she's also the greatest warrior in all of reality television.  She gets dropped onto murder world and kicks ass almost immediately after a little narrative stalling.  Snooze.  I'm not gonna drone on about Battle Royale, The Running Man, or Lord of the Flies.  That argument is moot because this is too blah to matter.

3.  Battleship - If they had shaved off an hour from this bloated blockfizzler than maybe, just maybe, Battleship might have been one of those So Bad It's Good flicks.  As is, all the "Chicken Burrito Her" dialog in the world couldn't save this abysmal dreck from the bottom of the ocean. With this, John Carter, and Savages (and let's not forget X-Men Origins - Wolverine!) Taylor Kitsch has proven himself to be a cure for quality - add only when you want the stench of failure.

2.  The Raven - Sooooooooooooo Boooooooooooring.  I love the idea of Edgar Allen Poe galavanting about Baltimore solving crimes inspired by his works of horror, but this high concept is dead upon arrival.  John Cusack screams his way through his performance, while director James McTeigue struggles with the tired plot's murderous pacing.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you want a deliciously meta take on Mister Poe than you really have to track down Stuart Gordon's Masters of Horror episode, The Black Cat.

1.  Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 - Now I know I deserve the punishment of watching this film because I've paid for every theatrical Twilight experience since the beginning.  So whatever vitriol I spew towards it or towards the society that accepts them as actual entertainment needs to be taken with as much respect as you would offer a peanut butter spackling crazy person.  I hated this movie.  I hated it more than the last film, and more than the third film, but not as much as the second or the first.  Sigh.  That last sentence makes my brain hurt.  There is a lot of talent behind this latest abomination (from its screenwriter to its director to its cinematographer and composer), but you sure wouldn't know it cuz Breaking Dawn Part 2 feels like the accomplishment of third rate nincompoop.  Of course what could possibly have been produced from Stephanie Meyers books?  You can shine a piece of shit all day long, but when the sun sets its still a piece of shit.  The real worry behind these films is how damn popular they are; they make me fear the future.  Of course, that might be a touch melodramatic.

THE ACTOR OF THE YEAR!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt:  Another year, another child actor done good.  His role of the year was easily that of the young Bruce Willis in Looper, but he also excelled in the 80s handicapped, brakes-are-death radical adventure of Premium Rush as well the hero worship sidekick of The Dark Knight Rises, and as little boy Lincoln.  His career has been building and building these last few years, but it feels like Looper is the first real grip on mega celebrity stardom.  2013 marks his directorial debut with Don Jon's Addiction, and I'm greatly looking forward to this next phase of his career.

The Most Anticipated Film of 2013 - Pacific Rim:  After stops and starts on The Hobbit and At The Mountains of Madness, Guillermo Del Toro is finally stepping behind the camera.  It's been a long five year absence, and his last film, Hellboy 2, was a movie that troubled me greatly.  But GDT has made some of my all time favorite films - The Devil's Backbone, Cronos, Pan's Labryinth, and Blade 2 - the idea of him tackling an honest-to-goodness kaiju vs giant robots flick?  That is miraculously geeky to me.  And it's possible for this not to suck - for it not to be Robot Jox cuz we live in a world where The Avengers kicked ass.  So despite a year that's going to produce Star Trek Into Darkness, Iron Man 3, Man of Steel, Elysium, Ender's Game, Only God Forgives, The World's End, and The Smurfs 2, Pacific Rim is the film I'm craving to see the most.  Fingers crossed, and I'll see you at the movie house.

--Brad