Matt’s Week in Dork! (2/23/14-3/1/14)

    Some weeks are lazy and restful, others are this one.  I spent much of this week away from the Matt-Pad, and quite frankly, my bed and I need a little quality time together.  But I did get to knock another of my all time favorite films off the ‘to see on the big screen’ list.  I also picked up, but haven't had time to listen to, the new St. Vincent cd.  Maybe next week.

Pompeii:  Brace yourselves.  I know you were expecting greatness.  But sadly, I must report that this movie was, in reality, quite terrible.  In 3D for some reason (it was the only showing we could make it to), the most impressive element of the movie was the writers’ Herculean effort to cram every obvious cliché and awkward turn of phrase imaginable into such a relatively short (but way, way too long) runtime.  A boy’s family is killed by an evil Roman (played by a terrible Kiefer Sutherland).  Of course, he then becomes the ultimate gladiator of Londinium, as we see all  the usual gladiator movie sequences.  Naturally, he attracts the attention of a powerful man, who then takes him to Pompeii, where, yes, you guessed it, the evil Kiefercus is being evil at the locals.  In the usual fashion, our gladiator hero (who somehow maintains not only an absolutely grueling gym routine from the looks of his abs, but is also a charismatic rebel leader in the making…I guess) wins the heart of a ridiculously modern woman (Her slave-girl is her bestie, she loves horses, and she’s so against the oppression of Rome and stuff, or whatever. And that slave boy who likes horses, too?  Oh, he’s just too dreamy.).  Then he befriends (wait for it) a black gladiator, who has a well rounded and deep background that makes you care so much for him.  You see, he’s…Um…He’s a black gladiator…And he, um…Well, he wants to be free.  Or something.  Whatever.  That’s what they did in Spartacus and Gladiator, so that’s what they’re gonna do here.  And after every scene ends with a shot of the mountain, the mountain explodes.  But don’t worry (they’re not), there’s still plenty of sequences of people chatting, leisurely looking into each others’ eyes, and generally not running the hell away from the exploding mountain.  I’d say they broadcast all the twists, but there aren’t any.  This is a shoddy, boring rehash of every flipping Sword & Sandals movie ever made.  When it’s not defying logic and sense, it’s denying excitement and charm.  And at no point in this film are you unaware that it’s PG-13.  It’s bloodless, sexless, and toothless.

101 Dalmatians:  This early 60s Disney film has a good story, with plenty of adventure, and not a lot of time wasting.  It’s quick, it’s cute, and it’s got plenty of heart.  Cruella De Vil is a solid, demented villain, with a couple of fun, dopy henchmen.  After being disappointed with my recent viewing of Alice in Wonderland, it was nice to see a good Disney cartoon from its classic age.  And Rod Taylor!

Vikings Season One:  This is a show I’m pretty darned shocked to find myself really enjoying.  It starts out kind of wonky, but by the mid-point of the season, I was on board, and by the season finale, I was excited to see what would happen next.  It occasionally feels a bit restrained, probably in light of shows like Game of Thrones, which could never be accused of restraint.  But it’s pretty violent and full of complexity that I find refreshing.  Ragnar is no angel, his wife no saint.  But as a pair, they’re fascinating to watch.  And the rest of the cast is pretty good.  The only major issue I have with the first season is Gabriel Byrne.  I like Byrne, but every time he was on screen, it felt like the writers left the room.  I don’t know what was going on, or what the thinking was, but his character was not well written, plotted, or thought through.  Still, overall, a surprisingly good show.

Streets of Fire:  “Tonight is what it means to be young.”  I just love this movie (it’s #15 on my all time favorites list).  And finally, thanks to the Alamo Drafthouse, I got a chance to see it on the big screen.  Like Brazil, it’s set in a no-time/no-place that I find particularly appealing in its 80s/50s way.  The characters are all archetypes, the story is basic Western, and the music is wonderfully eclectic, from sleazy Rockabilly to operatic Jim Steinman, and the acting is…well, it’s charming.  I love the action and the attitude.  There really aren’t a lot of other films out there quite like this one.  It is part of that 80s thing, where if you dance or rock hard enough, you can change the world.  But it’s so much more than that.  Watching it puts a big smile on my face.  But like a lot of films that came out before the advent of the internet and modern hipsters, you’ve got to watch it with your heart on your sleeve, and without a cynical thought in your head.  Just bask in the fantasy of this Rock and Roll Fantasy.

Mr. Nobody:  What can one say about a movie like this?  I think it comes down to ‘did you enjoy the ride?’  And in my case, yes I did.  A meditation on the paths life takes, the paths it might have, and everything in between.  And some stuff about string theory and the multiverse.  Sure.  The actors are all good, though it almost felt like casting Sarah Polley as the horrible, depressed woman was stunt casting.  She’s so very good at making you hate her, it’s like a superpower.  And she’s rockin’ it in this movie.  Almost every time she opened her mouth, I wanted to Lennie Small her ass.  It’s a head scratcher, for sure.  And it’s not going to be for everyone.  But for this cat, I think it’ll require an eventual re-watch, and I may just come to really enjoy it.  I do like at least part of its message, about the value of different paths and different lives.  It’ll make you think.  I’m sure for a philosophy major, it’s pretty shallow, but compared to pap like Gravity, it’s pretty good.

Magnificent Butcher:  This is a bit of a challenge.  On the one hand, the fighting is pretty cool, and a lot of various and sometimes somewhat obscure forms are on display.  Great.  However, the tone is so all over the map that it becomes distracting.  For the first half, it’s all pretty light hearted, with comic misunderstandings and occasional brawls.  Then a guy gets too handsy with a woman…then murder.  Cold blooded murder while failing to sexually assault.  Um.  That’s not funny.  And then, a moment later, a comedy scene about finding the body.  What?  From there on, it’s up and down, from comic to brutal as various kung fu fighters clash, goof, and kill.  Even the final battle feels pretty awkward, as the ‘evil’ master isn’t really that bad, and he’s trying to avenge his son.  And then it ends on a laugh.  OK.  Chinese comedy has never played that well with me, and this is no exception.  But the fighting is really cool.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (extended version):  I don’t know if I simply wasn’t in the right mood, or if I responded better to the takes used in this version, but I enjoyed myself a heck of a lot more the second time around.  From the musical number and the Spider-Man hate, to the alternate family dinner scene, I found myself more engaged and getting more belly laughs.  Unlike Anchorman’s alternate version Wake Up Ron Burgundy, this extended cut is essentially the same film from a story standpoint, but with many alternate takes and extra scenes.  I think this felt more in tune with what I loved about the first film.  But again, it may have been different circumstances that led to a different opinion.  I don’t know.

5 Centimeters Per Second:  This is the third film I’ve seen from writer/director Makoto Shinkai, and if he’s not careful, he might start to change my overall feelings toward anime.  Voices of a Distant Star and The Place Promised in Our Early Days were very effecting, beautifully animated movies that practically burn with intense nostalgia.  And I mean ‘nostalgia,’ the mix of happiness, sadness, and longing.  Though his character design is in keeping with the near ubiquitous style of Japanese animation (simple shapes, androgyny, big eyes, and pointy chins) the rest of the film stands out as a visual feast.  His color palette, framing, and detail are all gorgeous.  This film consists of three short stories, each dealing with hearts at a distance, coming together and moving apart.  Though I found the final story a bit of a let down, I think it does work with the whole, and it gets the message of the film across.  It just wasn’t as satisfying as the first two.  Shinkai’s work is something I’m going to keep my eye out for.  His is a voice I want to hear more from.

    On Saturday, Satnam and I got the material and did preliminary work on building the set for the film he’ll be shooting in a few weeks.  You can sure see how having a budget would make the potential set more interesting, more detailed.  I think what we’ve got will be fine, and most importantly, won’t distract from the acting.  But with a few thousand dollars, a couple of trained artists/builders, and a few weeks of work, I could see building a really good set.  It makes me think again about my idea for doing a public access type sci-fi show.  I think it could be done.

It looked nothing like this.

    Later on Saturday, we got together for another meeting of the graphic novel discussion group to talk about Thor: God of Thunder.  The group was a bit smaller than usual, but still a good turn out.  I was surprised and somewhat dismayed to find the feelings on the book divided mostly on gender lines.  At no point while I was reading the book did that come into my head as a possible problem point.  It’s dealing with religion was what I thought would get the most disagreement.  I loved the book, and it wasn’t about getting in touch with my 12 year old self.  It was more about enjoying a classically mythological tale told within the Marvel universe.

    So, that was the week, and this next one is already looking brutal.  When did I become this guy?  When did I get such a busy and active social life?  I’m still the same introvert I always was.  I still need to go home, hide in my room, and not deal with people.  That time to recharge has been limited recently, and I’m going to have to do something about that before too long.  Still, a lot of good memories being made.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (8/19/12-8/25/12)

    Not too much new this week, I guess.  Couple of chunks of downtime, so a lot of movies.


Doll Face:  Oh, spousal abuse.  Comic gold!  A huckster boyfriend (and advocate of lady punching) and a smooth talking writer vie for the attentions of a dancer with stars in her eyes.  Based on a Gypsy Rose Lee play, I’m sure she drew on her own history for some of the bits.  The excitement and romance of bury-Q revealed!

The Duke is Tops:  Lena Horne has a thousand watt smile, a sweet voice, and gams that just won’t quit (sadly covered in this film).  What she doesn’t have is an ounce of acting talent.  Still, it’s nice to see a movie from the late 30s, featuring black actors, that doesn’t feel exploitative (except that one musical number near the end), condescending, or outright hostile.  Some fascinating characters and good performances, too.  The Cats and the Fiddle were crazy, man.  The whole snake-oil sales subplot was unexpected, and kept reminding me of Carnivale.  The depression must have been a weird time to live through, beyond the obvious economic and environmental problems.  Not only did it foster the rebirth of American religious obsession (religion being the drug people run to most in times of trouble), but it seems to have been a great time for get rich quick schemes, self-discovery and creation, and outlandish personality.  Extreme and obscure fads popped out of every corner as people were desperate to escape the reality of their lives.

Hi-De-Ho:  Cab Calloway is a lady slapping cat who sings up a storm but can’t act a bit.  His violence prone lady friend isn’t having any of Cab’s new, mousy agent.  Calloway has a ton of charisma while he’s performing music, but once his band stops, so does most of his charm.  His dance during the song ‘Hey, now.’ looked familiar.  I realized it’s because he dances like me.  Did he have a time machine?  There’s a great tap number near the end, too.  And I’m not much of a tap guy.  The music in this one is awesome, but the in-between bits are kind of awkward and goofy.

Game of Thrones Season 1:  I’m generally not a huge fantasy fan, though I often do enjoy the genre in film.  And I’m really, really not a fan of the ‘death of trees’ fantasy sagas that seem to be the fashion of the day.  All these post-Tolkien, 10 book, 900 pages per volume series that cry out to the heavens for an editor.  And after watching this series, I have absolutely NO interest in reading the books.  But, this was a good show, and I can’t wait to see the next season.  It makes me wish more books (especially ones I actually do read) would get this kind of respectful treatment (Herbert’s Dune series?  Howard’s Conan?  Burroughs’ Barsoom?  Robinson’s Mars?  Oh, the possibilities).  Doing this 10-12 episode, season per book adaptation is a great option.

The Deadly Trackers:  Richard Harris faces off against Rod Taylor in this brutal, ugly, and sadly, kinda boring Western.  It’s got some really good bits.  But the whole thing meanders through a lot of ‘seen it-done it’ pilfering.  The opening 20 minutes are probably the best, setting up for some crazy revenge.  But the actual procedural (that’s how it feels) of tracking and killing the baddies gets tired fast.  Requisite Mexican buddy, prostitute, and dumb villagers are all present.  Just missing a priest, really.

Man in the Wilderness:  If nothing else, the image of a boat being hauled through the forest that opens the film is dramatic.  The bear attack…less so.  I had actually read about the events dramatized in this film during my Western Month a couple years back.  A testament to human endurance, to say the very least.  Richard Harris does a good job of looking physically destroyed, and he’s able to carry much of the film with little more than grunts and gasps.  There is some seriously beautiful scenery.  If you weren’t in the mood for a lot of dialog, this would be a good companion film to Jeremiah Johnson or maybe The Grey.  Though I guess the way it plays out is more ‘cinematic’ than the real events, but I kind of wish they’d stayed with history on this one.  The spirit is about right, but the details all wrong.

Viva Las Vegas:  I’m not the biggest Ann-Margret fan, but YOWZAH!  When she appears in those white shorts…I think my eyeballs fogged up.  Vegas is a city that holds no magic for me, either.  But showgirls are showgirls and they’re A-OK with me.  Elvis and his Italian friend’s club-crawl looking for Ann-Margret’s perfect posterior is kinda awesome.  And her swinging 60s dance number at the gym; crazy!  I’ve never had much skill reading women.  But I get what her body language was saying in that dance…and you can’t say that stuff on television (not even on FOX).  I think I need a cold shower.  The final race is horrifyingly explosive, though.  Like some crazy Car Wars action.  Everybody’s smiles and sunshine at the end, but I’m pretty sure two or three of those drivers are super dead.

The Eighteen Jade Arhats:  “Well miss, your kung fu is good.”  This dvd would make a great example of why ‘pan & scan’ is the devil’s work.  As far as the actual movie goes, I have no f’in idea what was going on here.  Lots of random dialog, lots of bad cutting and sudden zooms, and awkward sound effects like you just don’t know.  Who is anyone?  Why are they doing things?  What are they doing, exactly?  Is that Asian Julie Newmar?  I don’t know.  Somebody’s dead.  I guess some folks are trying to find out who did it.  Some old guy kills people with his palm…but I guess it wasn’t him.  Watch out for old dudes in wide hats who sound like they’re in a Don Blooth movie.  DEMON ATTACK!!!  It’s all right…they’re only men dressed up.  Birth Gate or Death Gate?!  Surprise funeral!  Monk wants a little head!  Light Kung Fu!!!  Conditional killing!!!  (Glad it’s not raining!).  Is that an apron?  Is he gonna make cookies later?  Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense.  Two thirds of the movie doesn’t actually matter.  I don’t know if it’s the transfer (which is terrible) or the way the film was shot, but it’s WAY too dark most of the time, so many fights are really hard to watch.  Not one of the better 70s chop socky movies I’ve seen.

The Creature with the Atom Brain:  A wacky scientist and an angry dude get together to use science-zombies for theft and murder.  Can a pipe smoking doctor and his hat wearing chums solve the mystery of the glowing fingerprints?  A lot of the film is pretty typical Atomic Horror stuff, with all the Mr. Wizard exposition and explanation.  But it’s well filmed and the cast is charming.  I love that when doctors get together, they sure enjoy smoking those Bob Dobbs pipes.

The Venture Bros. Season Two:  Holy crap.  What levels of bad taste and surreal madness will this show not descend to?  None that I can see.  The glory of the Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend.  Brock Sampson’s sweet mullet.  A Blackula hunter and a sex changing Hunter.  Good sweet crap, this show is amazing.  And finally, the true identity of the Sovereign will be revealed!  Zoinks!

The Giant Claw:  “Atomic spit-balls.”  Is it a flying saucer?  NO!  It’s a giantass space bird and it’s coming for you.  This movie has some cool stuff in it, and some great Atomic Horror dialog.  But the creature never really works.  It looks like a strung out punk rocker mixed with a buzzard, and moves like Fiona Apple.  The movie is a little over long.  And though I know it would never be handled right, and general viewing audiences are too cynical to enjoy the madness, but part of me would love to see this remade today.

Bye Bye Birdie:  “Who wants respect from a ten year old kid?”  Conrad Birdie (basically Elvis) has been drafted, and he’s gonna make some young woman’s existence mean something before he heads off.  He’s gonna kiss her on TV.  The cult of celebrity is explored in musical numbers, as women go totally apenuts for the gyrating, gold jumpsuited rocker.  Ann-Margret plays the lucky girl, and she does that all American Teen girl thing very well.  I love how she can look so sweet and prim in one shot and so…not, in another.  And who would expect that Gone With the Wind battle aftermath joke?

Lockout:  “You want some in your mouth?”  This movie is SO Luc Besson.  And I don’t think I mean that in a good way.  Awkward humor, wacky action, somewhat fun, but not as good as it should be.  When that dumb chick from Lost and that Australian guy who can’t seem to make the right career choices end up on the worst prison ever made (in SPACE!!!), full of Luc Besson-style criminals, run by the crappiest cops this side of Keystone, you know there’s gonna be a bunch of…well, cliché behavior.  This really, really needed to be R-rated.  More Crank and, less No Escape.  It’s basically Escape from New York, but written by 12 year olds, which is too bad, because Escape from New York in Space could have made for a cool flick.  I wish more movies of this type were made.  I could watch semi-low budget space-based science fiction films all the time.  But since the few that are made aren’t usually very good, I doubt that’ll happen.

Fun in Acapulco:  “No man really wants to get married.”  Ursula Andres looks like she stepped out of a Wagnerian fantasy land.  She should be clad in golden armor with a spear in one hand and a shield in the other.  Elvis finds her in a Mexican hotel where he gets a job as a singer and lifeguard.  You know.  That old story.  There’s a lady matador, a kid more connected than Ma Bell, and a champion diver who isn’t having any of it.  Though still a lot of fun, this movie is not up to some of the King’s other films.  Still, he’s like the Superman of Song.  A song needs to get sung, and he’s on it like chronic.  Elvis is kind of a dick in this, though.  He doesn’t really treat the ladies too good.  Though I think at one point, he could have had them both at the same time if he’d asked.  What’s up with that?

Die Nibelungen- Siegfried:  Fritz Lang’s silent fantasy film is another tale about dudes who should ‘just say no’ to chicks.  A great hero and a great king become best friends, but an amazon shrew and a blabbing blond spell a bloody end to what should have been a solid friendship.  There are some pretty cool scenes in this movie, but they’re weighted pretty heavy to the first half.  Once everyone comes back to Worms and the women get to work ruining everything, it’s mostly just standing around in castle rooms and chatting.  One credibility issue the film has is the ladies.  They’re…um…well, they’re…in the words of poet Austin Powers, ‘a bit manish.’  They kind of look like the Monty Python guys in drag.  Kriemhild is supposed to be a woman of such beauty that stories of her make Siegfried kill dragons, battle ugly dwarves, achieve huge honors, and brave all kinds of danger.  Personally, I’d be looking into ‘lemon laws’ if she was what I ended up with (and that’s before the whole, ruining my epic friendship and getting me killed part).  If she made up for her lack of looks by say, not getting anyone killed, or ruining everything she touches, it would be a different story.

    How could I resist?  Found Magnum P.I. season 2 for 10 bucks.  Oh, yeah.  Love this show.  It was cool seeing Tales of the Gold Monkey’s Corky in another episode as a local, by the books Navy guy.

    I checked out the first two episodes of the UK show Zen.  It’s always a bit odd watching shows as conspicuously and specifically placed in a certain geographic region where the accents are so wrong.  It’s one thing when ancient Romans all sport British accents, or medieval knights (even the French and German ones); but a bunch of British accents coming from members of an Italian police force?  It’s odd.  Made more so by the inconsistency.  Still, it’s always good to see Rufus Sewell working.

    While watching Cab Calloway in Hi-De-Ho, this past weekend, I got the idea for a great piece of art.  I want a painting of Calloway punching Hitler (perhaps over a table in a nightclub).  In the background, several members of his band are blasting Nazis with tommy guns, while the others continue to play.  Maybe Josephine Baker should be there, blasting some Gestapo goon with a derringer.  Berlin could be burning in the background.  The more I think about it, the more I like it.

    On Friday night, Lisa hosted another gathering of the graphic novel book club.  Habibi was the book of the night, and as expected, it brought out some strong opinions.  The book deals with some fairly rough subjects.  There was some spirited debate about sex and religion, about the portrayal of men vs. women in the book, and about the depiction of different ethnicities.  It was an interesting night.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (2/26/12-3/3/13)

    I’ve been enjoying my weeks, lately.  Busy, but still full of my nerdy escapes.  And shocked though I was, I got a chance to see Coriolanus at the West End Cinema.  I like that little place.  I wish I was more into video games.  I’ve been looking at all kinds of Mass Effect images and thinking about how cool it seems.  But, knowing my game playing (not to mention current system limitations), it would not be worth my while to try getting into it.  Maybe I’ll read some of the novels. 


The Trans-Atlantic Mystery:  Creeper Donald Meek is back to investigate more nefarious deeds.  Jewel thieves, double crossers, and cold blooded murderers.  I don’t know what the weird doctor would do if there weren’t evil in the world.  He’d probably do some of his own.  What’s weird about this one is how long it takes for the doctor and his cop buddy to show up; more than half the runtime of this short.

Wild Boys of the Road:  The movie starts at a ‘Sophomore Frolic,’ which they did not have when I went to high school, let me tell you.  Our wild boys are with some pretty wild girls, and up to some pretty wild business.  But the Depression, man.  These boys have to face the grim reality of parents being out of work, and the world spitting in their eye.  Then they hop a train and head out into the wide world to find their fortune.  They find all kinds of crime and corruption, and then brutal violence and death.  Things get ugly on the road and on the tracks.  Another movie that shows the problems of today aren’t much different than the problems of yesterday.

Wild Bill: Hollywood Maverick:  It feels like William Wellman is a lost great.  He was a driving force behind some really great movies.  At least as colorful as the characters he put on film, he was a crazy and brash worker.  This documentary has an amazing line-up of interview subjects and covers his life with a dramatic flare, helped by narrator Alec Baldwin.  These kind of larger than life folks are the stuff of legendary America.  Some kind of quintessential, mythological essence of life taken on with two fists.  Like a good documentary, it makes me want to know more.  And like a good one about film, it makes me really hungry to watch a bunch of movies.  I found the home movies of Wellman especially effecting.

The Men Who Made Movies: William Wellman:  This documentary goes over much of the same material as Wild Bill: Hollywood Maverick, but from different angles.  One of the coolest things about it is the use of actual Wellman interview footage.  Obviously quite the character, hearing him tell his stories is extremely charming.

Isle of the Dead:  Another striking Val Lewton produced horror film.  This time we’re in Greece, and Boris Karloff is a cruel but somewhat tragic military man stuck on a plague infested island where his wife was buried.  Is it the plague?  Or is someone on the island an evil spirit?  An interesting study in paranoia, superstition, duty, and dignity.

Dark of the Sun:  Rod Taylor leads a band of mercenaries through hostile territory to rescue some people and reclaim some diamonds.  In the face of brutality and horror, Taylor and Jim Brown are stoic forces of order.  The plot travels in many strange directions, culminating in a crazy fight.  Broken and dangerous men in a broken and dangerous land.  The movie goes through some dark stuff.  Good though.

God’s Gun:  The great thing about Spagetti westerns is that even when everyone speaks English, they’re horribly dubbed.  Even when they have moderate actors, the acting sucks.  The music is terrible and everything looks crappy.  I’ve got NO idea what Jack Palance was going for.  Villain or no, his mannerisms seem more in keeping with an old time silent comedian.  Lee Van Cleef is double the awesome, though.

Vanilla Sky:  An interesting meditation on loss, love, and idealized youth seen through the eyes of a wealthy media scion.  Tom Cruise is good as the guy who has it all, then looses it to a jilted crazy woman.  The cast is solid (even the normally unbearable Cruz), the visuals interesting, and the music atmospheric.  Though I’ve heard many people complain that the movie was hard to understand, I think if you’ve got even the most rudimentary understanding of science fiction film, or have ever watched an episode of The Twilight Zone (or similar show), you shouldn’t have a hard time following along at home.  Granted, you also have to pay attention, so maybe that’s the issue.  It may not go on my list of best, but this is a worthy movie in the ‘what is reality?’ subgenre.

Smiley’s People:  I found this follow-up to Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy to be far more engaging.  Alec Guinness still plays it about as cool and detached as possible, but I think his more active involvement in the happenings helps.  Plus, the location shooting gives it far more credibility.  There’s something about continental Europe in the late 70s and early 80s, some depressing magic that takes me back with a twisted sort of nostalgia to the constant fear and paranoia of the Cold War.  What can I say, I grew up in the shadow of the Iron Curtain (psychologically) and so it reminds me of my youth.  Overall, I found this second series much more satisfying.  It’s too bad they were not able to make the second book in the semi-trilogy involving Smiley and his hunt for his elusive opposite on the other side.

Coriolanus:  The Beast Fiennes, covered in the gore and grime of fallen foes, spews hate at the mindless and easily swayed masses.  His disgust at the hoard mentality of the common man, fueled by fear and complacency is infectious.  The cast is awesome, and Fiennes loves to keep everyone in uncomfortable close-up.  He revels in everyone’s wrinkles, blemishes, and sweaty, hide-stretched bone structure.  Visceral in the extreme, this is Shakespeare’s Modern Combat.  And another reminder that when you have an ultra-loyal, ultra-competent killer devoted to you, don’t betray him.  It’s just asking for trouble.

Hannie Caulder:  Yikes.  Three degenerates (Strother Martin, Ernest Borgnine, and professional creep Jack Elam) plunder, murder, and rape their way through the wild west.  But they make a big mistake when they leave one victim (Raquel Welch) alive.  Then, in walks Robert Culp and his beard, who introduces her to Christopher Lee and his beard.  Welch is a knockout in this movie, and it’s one of her better performances (not really saying much).  There is some pretty bloody violence, as well as an extremely disturbing (though thankfully not graphic) sexual assault.  The final credit music is shockingly bad, though.  Not sure what’s up with that.  A good western, revenge film.

Frankenstein Conquers the World:  A slow radiated kid turns into a giant (still slow) monster and wanders around doing stuff while scientists waffle about trying to figure out what to talk about maybe doing sometime.  Then a giant demon dog with a glowing horn shows up to eat chickens.  This is Japanese.

Tarzan and His Mate:  Oh, my.  Maureen O’Sullivan is really something in this one.  Sure, the nude swimming scene is a body double/stunt woman.  But even so, O’Sullivan’s Jane is a super-charged, uninhibited sexual creature.  Tarzan remains little more than a grunting animal; a sort of embodiment of nature Jane has not only embraced, but mastered.  When folks from civilization show up with some dresses and make-up, trying to lull her back, Jane will have none of it, having freed herself from the chains of polite society.  And her loincloth get-up is nothing short of genius.

Tarzan Finds a Son:  As the title says, Tarzan (and Jane) find an orphan boy and adopt him.  Growing up in the jungle is dangerous, but fun for the trouble seeking little kid.  When some more interfering white people show up and cause a rumble in the jungle, Tarzan is less than amused.  This movie uses elements of Tarzan’s background from the books and places them on the adopted Boy.  Jane’s costume is a heck of a lot more conservative by this film.  Too bad.  And if these movies have taught me anything, it’s that if you even look at water, crocks will dive in and start chasing you.  There’s also a scene with chimps riding elephants.  Bam.

Bedlam:  Boris Karloff stars in another interesting more psychological horror from producer Val Lewton.  This time, he plays a cruel and conniving doctor at the titular asylum.  When a young woman calls him and his wealthy cronies, on their casual villainy, the bad doctor works to commit her.  Karloff is like the foundation of a good film.  If you give him good material, you can build something great on his shoulders.

    I watched some Tomorrow People this week.  Man, that show is crazy.  70s England mixed with really weird science fiction.  Telepathic kids.  Shifting paintings of alien worlds.  Teleportation.  And a new Tomorrow Person joins the group.  This story arc is all about the blue and the green.

    And to cap off the week, I showed Ben a couple episodes of the original Star Trek, ‘The Cage’ and ‘Where No Man Has Gone Before.’  I’m figuring on giving him a crash course in the best or the original series.  I miss the mad bastardry of that era’s science fiction, rarely captured in this era.

    I got some reading done this past week, which was nice.  Started off with a surprisingly not terrible comic about Burroughs’ Mars, and then ended off the week with two books from my new favorite Norwegian (seriously, what’s up with Norway producing so much awesome lately?).  Check out the reviews here.

-Matt