The Priceline Negotiator Lives!

That didn't last long.  Taking a page out of a dozen Superhero Comic resurrections, William Shatner's Priceline Negotiator has reemerged, alive & well and looking for the ultimate rush.  Obviously, being the Shat Attack nut that I am, I freaking love this Point Blank ripoff ad.  And I'm quite happy to see Shatner back to shilling for Priceline.  Keep 'em surreal and weird and keep 'em coming.

Thanks to the After Movie Diner for pointing this out.  And if you haven't already, please check out Episode 49 of the Diner where Jon & I get our Shat on over the great 70s B(or Z)-movies, Impulse & The Devil's Rain.



--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork! (8/5/12-8/11/12)

This was a seriously full Week in Dork.  Yes, it was still pretty damn random, but I packed in as much Dorkery as I possibly could considering I was practically living & sleeping my Retail Land day job.  The Wife & I made two trips to the cineplex this week for Total Recall & The Bourne Legacy.  Neither film ignited a fiery passion but it's always good to be under The Big Screen, and it gave me an excuse to crack open my HDDVDs of the Bourne films.  My love for them has dwindled some, but they still proved that Good Will Hunting could be a serious badass.  The Total Recall remake though...yeah, can't touch the insanity of the original Arnie ultraviolence.

PODCAST OF THE WEEK!

After Movie Diner Episode 49 - Double Bill Shatner:  Late last Saturday night, or rather early Sunday morning, I joined the After Movie Diner for a thorough conversation detailing the genius double feature of Impulse & The Devil's Rain--two of my all time favorite William Shatner flicks.  Both movies have been staples of our Shat Attack parties and they never fail to bring down the house.  Filmed back to back in the mid seventies when Shatner was struggling to find a career after Star Trek, Impulse is one of the great B-A-D films; with horrendous direction that's almost as criminal as Shatner's epic fashion statements.  The Devil's Rain on the other hand is a forgotten gem.  Seriously, directed by the man who brought us The Abominable Dr. Phibes, shot by the man behind Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia, and cut by Steven Spielberg's go-to editor.  It's a goof, but a gorgeous goofball oddity ready for a 1080p transfer.  Please check out the episode, and listen to a couple of Shat-Fanatics geek out joyously over a couple of classic 5 dollar bin flicks.

ROAD TRIP OF THE WEEK!

The NRA Firearms Museum:  On Friday, The Wife & I had a day off together.  A real rarity these days.  The original plan was to hit up the National Zoo but afternoon showers killed that idea and we had to improvise.  Using the Nearest App on her phone, The Wife discovered that the closest museum to our place is actually the NRA Firearms Museum in Fairfax, VA.  I've lived in NOVA for 20 years now but never in a million billion years have I ever contemplated a visit to the NRA.  That being said, when she read off their website that it housed a warehouse of Hollywood guns including Dirty Harry's original .44 Magnum, I knew it was a place I had to experience.

I crammed my politics into a tiny corner of my brain and just tried to enjoy the props that make all movies more awesome-GUNS!  And besides the dorky joy of putting nose to glass with James Bond's Walther PPK or Josey Wales's Cold Walkers, it was fascinating to walk through America's history from the point of view of our firearms.  And the Theodore Roosevelt Trappings of an Icon exhibit was unreal.  Check out Teddy's elephant leg wastebasket or his lion skin rug!  Just absolutely crazy presidential hunter history!

And then there's The Maltese Falcon!  What?!?!  Yeah, I've done a little internet research and it looks to be the truth.  The NRA has one of two lead props used in The Maltese Falcon.  And that's freaking bananas to me, but apparently it comes from Dr. Gary Milian's props collection and I guess he was also a significant NRA contributor.  Bonkers.

I seriously can't believe it we spent nearly two hours there, but there a crap ton of guns to impossibly absorb.  Magnum PI.  Lethal Weapon.  The Shadow.  Die Hard.  Beverly Hills Cop.  Reservoir Dogs. Serenity.  Star Wars.   The Dark Knight.  And let's not forget John Wayne's eyepatch from True Grit or Henry Fonda's vest from My Darling Clementine. 

Finally we crawled out through the surreal crazy that is the gift shop.  Salt n Pepper shotgun shell shakers.  Butane Derringer lighters.  .44 Magnum earrings.  And in the far corner with the books detailing the fallacies of 911 and the importance of female defense were three copies of Charlton Heston's The Courage To Be Free...autographed.  Yeah, I snatched them up.  All in all, a day trip to the NRA turned into a shockingly good time for this dork.  And somewhat expensive.

TV OF THE WEEK!

Star Trek - Deep Space Nine Season 1:  After some time away, The Wife & I dove back into DS9.  When we were trying to watch a sprinkling from the various series she didn't seem to really connect with Terok Nor, but now that we're focusing only on Sisko & the gang she seems to be loving this Space Western.  Sure, 1st Season definitely has its problems.  The writers are still working out the characters with Sisko scowling too damn much and Kira yelling nearly all her dialog.  And like with most Star Trek shows there are too many space time anomalies and goofy bumpy heads from across the wormhole.  But the show only gets better.  And more so than any other Trek, DS9 really goes for serialized storytelling--and it's not just that Dominion stuff from the later seasons.  I dig the Bajor/Cardassian WWII parallels even when they're too preachy for their own good.  And we've had a ton of fun playing "Spot Morn" across the first season.  He's the best set decoration in all of Trekdom.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Total Recall:  A perfectly serviceable sci-fi remake, but stripped of all the crazy weird elements that made the original Arnie actioner so damn odd and compelling. No Mars. No Aliens. No Mutants. No "See You At The Party Richter" ultra gore. Colin Ferrell is just a confused double agent struggling to choose between two bland actresses. And what's the deal with The Fall invasion? Couldn't The Colony just dynamite that tunnel? Save themselves from a whole lot of robot warfare? And I'm supposed to buy a punch up between Farrell and Bryan Cranston? Yeah, don't think so.

Contagion:  Don't Touch Your Face! Steven Soderbergh delivers an intense pre-apocalypse pandemic in which a wide cast of characters scream into telephones and try not to foam at the mouth. Sure, there's nothing really special here--it's just another Outbreak--but I found the tracking of the virus to be quite compelling, and it was fascinating to see how different governments handled the impending doom.  Sure the characters work only depending on how much you enjoy the actors; they have to fill in a lot of the script, but Soderbergh establishes sickly fear thanks to simple closeups of hands on subway poles.  Just gross.

The Hunter:  "You'll Get Your Result!" Willem Dafoe ventures into the Australian wilderness in an effort to stalk and kill the supposedly extinct Tasmanian Tiger. It all has something to do with corporate espionage and frustrated loggers. Dafoe is given plenty of script to chew on and it's one of his finest recent performances as he transforms from setting steel traps to protecting his adopted tree hugger family. Plus, a crotchety Sam Neil! We need more of those in movies.

The Bourne Identity:  Can you believe it's been ten years? The Bourne Identity announced to the world that Matt Damon could be Tough with a capital T, and his tagalong dame Franke Potente gives a servicable performance as the walking Stockholm Syndrome. By no means is this the mega-awesomeness that some have labled it, but The Bourne Identity is a fun, thrilling Who Am I? chaser with some cool action set pieces, plus a great (underused) anti-Damon in Clive Owen. Their final country side shotgun battle is just a promise of the franchise's future cat & mouse brawls.

The Bourne Supremacy:  My least favorite of the three films.  I can appreciate the sudden dismissal of the Franka Potente character--what good is a content Bourne to us, but the revenge fueled action gets lost in Paul Greengrass's frantic camera. Yeah, I'm one of those shaky cam haters. Karl Urban is scary but he's no Clive Owen. Joan Allen is a tough foil but Brian Cox's spook villainy feels like it should be played closer to the foreground. The Bourne Supremacy hints at some serious backstory brooding but its all setup for the much superior Ultimatum.

The Bourne Ultimatum:  For the most part, Paul Greengrass's nausea cam continues to infuriate this viewer but I must recognize the utter brilliance of the Moroccan rooftop chase climaxing in the exploding glass apartment with books jabbing adam's apples and bath towels strangling CIA goons. The Paddy Considine reporter business bores me a touch, but once David Strathairn turns on his inner psycho and Albert Finney returns to the Ludlum-verse, The Bourne Ultimatum grabs on tight and boxes ya 'bout the ears. Still not a Bourne fanboy but this feels like a satisfyingly somber sendoff for Matt Damon's conflicted killer.  That is until he returns...again...

Attack The Block:  Trust. Believe. Attack The Block is the single best bit of nostalgic genre throwback I've experienced since John Carpenter's The Thing. And just like that '82 remake, Attack The Block manages to satisfy the past while establishing itself in the present. John Boyega is one of the great recent breakout stars and I need to see him in more movies NOW! He's an urban 15 year old samurai badass ready to take on Toshiro Mifune's iconic status. Bam. Hyperbole. Allow it. Sure, there's some nice little inner city commentary going on here, but at the end of the day this is a bloody beast of monster flick.  And you'll be hollering when they kill all dem things.

Jesse Stone - Benefit of the Doubt:  "I don't care about convictions, I care about Justice." Tom Selleck returns as the morally dubious and dismissive Paradise Police Chief, Jesse Stone. After his replacement explodes into a billion bits, Selleck returns to an empty police station to restart his reign in the small town. Eight films into the franchise and there is no sign of slowing down, both the William Sadler mafioso plot & the Saul Rubinek friendly evil car dealer stories gain new heat, but there's still plenty of room from fringe players like Stephen McHattie, William Devane, and Gloria Reuben. However, the standout performance has to go to Robert Carradine as the devious deer hunter tracking Selleck's movents. Their pullover encounter manages to be scary and pretty darn funny thanks to a few key eyebrow twitches from Carradine.  But, unfortunately, I don't think he'll be sticking around.

The Bourne Legacy:  Michael Clayton's Tony Gilroy takes the reins from Paul Greengrass and brings some of that much appreciated cold, calculating murder to the shaky cam action. Matt Damon may be on the run, but the introduction of Jeremy Renner's super soldier allows for some fascinating mythology building and I personally love the downplaying of close quarter combat for shifty screamy sin eaters like Edward Norton & Stacey Keach. But don't worry, there are at least two confrontations worthy of the Bourne mantel and Renner can crash a room just as well as Damon. Unfortunately the movie just ends. And the final battle between the generic and irrelevant Larx-8 is several badasses shy of a Clive Owen, Karl Urban, or Edgar Ramirez. Still, I look forward to the inevitable sequels and the eventual Renner on Damon action.

Dirty Harry:  When the Law gets in the way of Justice, there's Inspector Harry Callahan to 44 Magnum his way through the wretched sea of deviants overrunning the city of San Francisco. And when he's not blasting holes in bureaucratic red tape, Eastwood sneers and soapboxes against the puttzes in charge, condemning their weak rules and regulations. And once the iconic "Do You Feel Lucky?" was uttered a whole genre of one-liner action flicks was born.  Plus, Andrew Robinson is disgustingly terrifying as the Scorpio killer; his whiney voice and piggish squeals of pain are the stuff of nightmares.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Spider-Men #5:  Ok.  I've been loving this mini series, but how in the world is Bendis going to be able to wrap up all this madness with just one more issue?  Mysterio, the universe jumping bastard that sparked off this event has barely been seen, and Peter Parker has pretty much emotionally destroyed his Ultimate Universe family.  I seriously hope this has lasting effects on Miles Morales' universe and not just a chance to steal Parker's web shooters.  Still, this mini is much better than it has any right to be.

Godzilla - The Half Century War #1:  Speaking of being better than it should, the first issue of The Half Century War is freaking AWESOME!!!!!  Sure, I usually don't go for that manga look but Stokoe's kaiju is stunning.  There's one 2-page spread that dropped my jaw to the floor.  This is what Godzilla comics should look like and no other bit of pop culture has me as excited for a new Gojiro flick like this comic.  Can't wait to see when and where this incarnation pops up next in the timeline.

The Creep #1:  Not bad.  So far its a basic PI set up with a little Rondo Hatton thrown in.  Still, Jonathan Case's art is crisp (don't judge a book by its Frank Miller cover) and who doesn't like a good PI story.  Hopefully John Arcudi's script will take the characters into some surprising territory but it's just too early to tell if this is going to be great or only so-so.  But I'm on board for the ride.

Batman #12:  A standalone story taking the reader back to some of the events from the first issue.  Not sure I really care about this Harper Row character or not, and even if the gay bashing subplot offers some nice character beats, all I really care about at this point is The Night of the Owls and the impending return of The Joker.  This is a little glimpse into Gotham and I'm guessing Row has a major role to play at some point in Snyder's plan.  But...meh.

--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork! (6/3/12-6/9/12)

This Week in Dork was all about the Alien Saga and the build to Friday's Prometheus.  Not just one of my most anticipated films of the summer, but of the whole year, Prometheus stirred up some complicated emotions I was not really expecting.  As a means of preparation for the new Ridley Scott film, I decided to watch the Alien films in reverse order.  That may or may not have been a good idea.  Not sure if I should have bothered trying to fit Prometheus into that cannon...at least not Aliens, Alien 3, and Resurrection.

The other big news this week was that I made my Podcast debut on the After Movie Diner's special report on the Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con.  It was a great honor to appear on the show and I really had blast discussing my insane Shatner love with Jon and he didn't seem to mind my inane Cosplay ramblings.  Hopefully you wont' either.  Also, if you listen closely you'll hear Matt giggling in the background as I proclaim my Moontrap love.  Hopefully this will be the first of many Podcast appearances; a new wave of ITMOD world domination has begun.

If by some crazy psychological mixup, you're not listening to the After Movie Diner than you're really missing one of the whackier and extremely entertaining podcasts out there.  Absolutely loved the last ep dissecting Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator, From Beyond, Castle Freak, and featuring a great interview with actress Barbara Crampton.  Really looking forward to her appearance in the home invasion flick You're Next.

To listen to the episode just click HERE.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Alien - Resurrection:  "A Beautiful, Beautiful Butterfly!" If you watch this film after Alien, Aliens, and Alien 3 you might come away filled with a shrugging, eye-rolling hate. But if you watch Resurrection alone...and try to forget everything else you've seen before in the franchise...than it's not all that bad. For Joss Whedon, the crew of the Betty is a dry run for the crew of the Serenity and I really do love Brad Dourif's taunting affection for his cloned creations.  However, there's no denying that Jean-Pierre Jeunet directs the performances into the uber-heights of screaming melodrama, and his Newborn mewling baby still gives me a serious case of oogie nausea.  That thing is just gross.

Alien 3:  The 2003 cut of Alien 3 adds a little more religion and sacrifice to the conversation and it hints at a possible Great film behind David Fincher's lens. But what I take away most from the third act in the Alien franchise is just how filthy and disgusting the prison planet, Fury 161 truly is--roaches, roaches, roaches. Aliens was always going to be a tough act to follow and maybe going back to the formula of the first film was the right choice, but in making another space slasher you guarantee comparisons to greatness where James Cameron cleverly avoided that by jumping genres. Still, this is not the crap film most would have you believe. Weaver is fantastic as the brutalized Ripley, and the monstrous convicts she has for help are a fascinating collection of characters.  Much more interesting than James Cameron's  gung ho marines.

Aliens:  I've seen Aliens so many times I can watch the film whenever I want just by closing my eyes.  And with such a familiarity, some of the shine has worn away.  Sure, James Cameron took the original haunted space house narrative and transformed it into one of the best action films of the 1980s.  But the action thrills don't grab me the same way that the chills and world building of the original still manage to muster.  Sigourney Weaver's Ripley is dragged back into the xenomorph horror with the help corporate stooge Paul Reiser, and Michael Biehn leads a platoon of supreme badasses against the alien threat. But the real stars of the film are Stan Winston's beautifully grotesque creatures crawling outta the walls and bursting from chest cavities.  I miss puppets.

Alien:  My 10th Favorite Film of All Time. Alien does not simply succeed on the success of HR Giger's Alien design or the stunning set work. With the exception of possibly John Carpenter's The Thing, this cast is unparalleled in genre cinema. Tom Skerritt, Yaphet Kotto, Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm, Veronica Cartwright, and Sigourney Weaver. They sell the environment around the dinner table, their joking, their barbs, their vitriol. And when the star beast starts slashing its way through the cast, they sell the terror with their fear shrieks and cries of anger. Ridley Scott masters the build with Alien, and the creature feature climax does not disappoint thanks to the first 2/3rds of character & tension building.

Dragnet:  Yeah. That's right. I love Dragnet. The Movie. Forget the tv show. The movie is where it's at. Dan Aykroyd never cracks a smile as Detective Friday, even when he's partnered with the hyper sexual lug that is Tom Hanks' wisecracking Pep Streebek. The film is totally 80s with its high hair, pointless strip club sequences, Dabney Coleman lisping, and Alexandra Paul's ultimate hapless virgin. Christopher Plummer is far too entertaining as the priest gone P.A.G.A.N. and his sleazy smile steals every scene. Cheeze. But glorious cheeze.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming-

Prometheus:  Full disclosure. I am going to have to see this movie again. I've been looking forward to Prometheus since its production start, but my anticipation for the Alien prequel exploded when I first glimpsed footage at last year's San Diego Comic Con. So, as with most similar cinematic situations, the film failed to match my ridiculous fanboy anticipation. 

While watching Prometheus I couldn't help but recall the crew of the Nostromo, a crew of space truckers scrounging the cosmos as a means of making a buck; who fall victim to corporate greed and a pesky intergalactic terror.  As stated above, what works so dang well with that original Alien are the interactions between the characters and the twisty path their narratives take--the typical heroic Captain fails to save the day, the science officer goes white blood crazy, the pushy intense Number 2 takes the lead and saves the cat, etc. But the crew of the Prometheus never wanders from their cliched archetypes. Noomi Rapace's true believer scientist runs the show with her faith and never wavers, Charlize Theron's ice queen plants herself as an unlikable witch, Michael Fassbender's mysteriously untrustworthy droid remains mysteriously untrustworthy. There's barely an arc to their story. Very frustrating. 

But maybe it's unfair to compare the two crews. Maybe I just need to accept their placement within the plot. Focus on that. Ok. It's a solid science fiction tale in which a group of scientists attempt to discover the engineers of mankind and it's all kinda woo-y Chariots of the Gods stuff. A staple of UFO genre fiction. 

Where the film really works is in Ridley Scott's eye. He paints an absolutely beautiful picture with brilliant sets, costume design, special effects, and yes, creature work. Charlize Theron & Michael Fassbender are phenomenal even in their narrowly defined roles and surrounded by bumbling dimbulb biologists--AND don't even get me started on that punk rock geologist. Fassbender's David is probably the most fascinating character in the film with his daddy issues and cinematic hero worship. And damit, I kept hoping Theron & Fassbender were going to wrestle the script away from Rapace and her super annoying boyfriend. There was a great film tucked behind their characters, just waiting to break free. 

Again, I want to see this movie for a second round. Since the credits rolled it's all I've been thinking about. So that right there means it had a serious effect on me. And I'm guessing now that those pesky expectations can be put to the side, I can just sit back and enjoy. And I really cannot wait to see this flick on blu ray.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Batman - Death By Design:  This is one of those stand alone Batman graphic novels that doesn't quite fit into the continuity of the comic, but doesn't negate it either. Writer Chip Kidd & artist Dave Taylor look to the Batman of yesteryear for a retro tale of corporate fraud, architecture terrorism, and The Joker (yeah, him again). It's an absolutely stunning book and even if the story had been absolutely crap, this hardcover would totally be worth its $24.99 price tag. Thankfully, this art deco beauty has a fun narrative as well. A young Bruce Wayne is still finding his way under the cowl when a series of devastating mishaps occur during the construction of the new Wayne Central Station. What do these "accidents" have to do with his father's legacy? And who is the mysterious Exacto? And why does the Clown Prince of Crime seem so interested in Wayne's crumbling foundation? I would hate to think this is a one time deal from Kidd & Taylor, as I would like to see a whole series of retro Bat adventures from them.

Batman - Knightfall Volume 2:  Bane has broken The Batman. Crippled, Bruce Wayne leaves Gotham in the hands of the brainwashed Jean Paul Valley aka Azrael, the psychotic vigilante haunted by the ghost of his father and the religious order of St. Dumas. Bwwwwaaa huh? Wayne should probably have done a little more research on his successor, and for 600 + pages, this new techno Batman brutalizes the rogues of Gotham. Sure, sure, sure, he fights the usuals like The Joker and Clayface Three (uh, don't ask), but the real fun of this ridiculously 90s epic are the whack-o, who-the-hell-are-they villains like Gunhawk, Abattoir, and the quickdraw cowboy twins Tom & Tad. You need these newbie freaks for Psycho Bats to execute.  After all he can't be the one to actually take down The Joker. Honestly, I much preferred the this volume of Knightfall to the first if only cuz Batman is not such a sickly, wimpy mess. And I kinda adore the idiocy of these 90s bad guys.  Yep, looking forward to Volume 3 where Bats takes back the cowl.

Baltimore - The Curse Bells:  Christopher Golden & Mike Mignola team up once more for the second volume of Baltimore. Set shortly after the events of The Great War, Lord Baltimore travels to Lucerne Switzerland on the hunt for the one-eyed vampire beast that killed his entire family.  The Curse Bells feels like the best of Hammer Horror, Ben Stenbeck's monstrous illustrations deliver chills as vampire nuns cry tears of blood and a wannabe dictator carves his fate from a sacrificial womb. This is epic comic book horror. The first Baltimore trade was fun, but The Curse Bells is one of the best horror comics to come our way in a long, long time.  A Must Read.

Before Watchmen - Minutemen #1:  Well, here's the first in DC Comics' Watchmen cash-in event.  And yeah, it still feels funny.  And pointless.  Don't get me wrong, Darwyn Cooke's art is bloody fantastic and he's the perfect fit for the origins of the Minutemen crime fighting team.  But based on this first issue, I just don't get the point of exploring the backstory of these minor characters from Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons' original book.  We got all we needed back in the 80s.  This just feels unnecessary.  I'm not gonna bother with the other books unless I start to hear rave reviews, and I probably will only pick up the trade of Minutemen cuz I love Darwyn Cooke's art so much.

X-O Manowar #2:  This reboot on the other hand I'm absolutely enjoying.  Not sure if I care about the other new Valiant books but with its crazy brains alien religion, visigoth warrior mentality, mighty morphin power suit, and Cary Nord's stunning art, X-O Manowar is one of the most entertaining books on the stand right now.  Granted we're only two issues into the new series and it can all go tits up but so far soooooo good.  And now that the keeper of Shannara has been chosen, it looks like we're gonna get a whole bunch of spider alien hate crimes.  Excellent.

Ragemoor #3:  With only one more issue of the mini series to go, we're finally starting to get some focus to the plot.  Master Herbert's desires for Anoria are threatened when the sneaky poacher Tristano sneaks into her bed chamber for some late night loving.  Well, as a groundskeeper of a living castle, he's got a whole mess load of diabolical masonry and skullheaded baboons at his disposal and his actions will be devastating.  But will the lovely Anoria be persuaded by his charms or just chuck herself into oblivion?  Not being a cheery book, Master Herbert might have to find new beauties to obsess over.  Plenty of squid creatures and beetle men hanging around.

B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth - The Transformation of J.H. O'Donnell:  Here's a quick one-shot that finally reveals the origin of the nutjob occult investigator JH O'Donnell and it's all very typical BPRDish kinda stuff.  Spooky houses, cult sacrifices, and plenty of sadness.  Via flashback, it's great to see Hellboy pop up for a little while and I really hope that artist Max Fiumara returns to the series on a more regular basis since his illustrations perfectly capture the depressing nature of this new world Hell on Earth universe.  But this is just a breather until we're back on board The Devil's Engine.

MUSIC OF THE WEEK!

Avery Brooks' Here Album:  The Wife picked this up last week at the Philadelphia Comic Con and I've been listening to it in chunks during car rides back and forth from work.  It's a typically jazzy creation you would expect from the man called Hawk, and it is laced with the beautifully weird and wonky philosophy glimpsed at during William Shatner's The Captains documentary.  Here is definitely not for your average joe, you gotta have some serious Star Trek or Spencer For Hire love to truly appreciate it's tones, but if you're willing than you'll have a blast with both the jazz and spoken word (soooo much spoken word).

Art by Francesco Francavilla

--Brad

Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con

Troma's Lloyd Kaufman presents Wonder Boy's Junk

Last week was the Wizard World Philadelphia Comic Con and ITMOD was there!  Maybe not the cultural phenomenon that is the San Diego Comic Con or the comic lovers paradise like the Baltimore Comic Con, but these Wizard World events are a ton of fun if you have the money and the desire to meet & greet the celebrities perched on display in the dealer's room.  I had not been in a couple of years, but the prospect of acquiring the autographs of all five Star Trek Captains, including Dork Hero William Shatner was too much for this geek to resist.

The Wife and I drove up to the the city of Brotherly Love late, late, late Thursday night and checked into a hotel on the outskirts of the Philly Airport.  We dashed the contents of our suitcase all over the floor and furniture, selected the appropriate con t shirt wear (plenty of Eric Powell Goon, Shatner, & Ghost Rider love represented from me, where as The Wife had her Team Zissou & Marc Maron pride) and counted the seconds until we were inside the Convention Center.

Celebrity Based Conventions are always weird experiences.  Here, under one roof, are Bruce Campbell, James Hong, Dean Cain, Stan Lee, Chris Hemsworth, William Shatner, Patrick Stewart, Kate Mulgrew, Scott Bakula, Avery Brooks, Norman Reedus, Sean Patrick Flanery, Robert Knepper, Dean Stockwell, James Marsters, etc...  And you can meet them...for a price.  Not only do you fork over the cash for the con, but you also have to pay for the autograph, and if you want a photo with them you have to pay for that as well.

So there's no kidding yourself.  You want to meet the celebrities you've worshipped since you were a kid?   You gotta pay.  Folks like Shatner and Stewart are charging $75 for an auto and $80 for a photo op.  That's big business.  And there should be no delusions that you're having a real, personal experience with them.  So that's gonna turn off some folks.  Understandably.  That being said, I'm a sucker for these events.  And I can and will gladly pay for the opportunity to meet (and collect) these actors.  Part of me even likes that there is a monetary value that I can give to a celebrity encounter.  For this insane blogger a Star Trek art print signed by all five Captains is worth $300.  I will sacrifice good eating, gas, rent, and doctor bills to acquire it.

And that's what the Philadelphia Comic Con is about.  There are some cool panels and a pretty good dealer's room, but if you don't want to pay for autographs than there really is no other reason to attend. 

 

Our first day was Friday.  And The Captains would not be arriving until Saturday.  Day 1's goal was James Hong.  An actor with one of the most massive IMDB pages out there.  369 acting credits.  He's appeared in Chinatown, Blade Runner, Big Trouble in Little China, Tank Girl, Kung Fu Panda, Balls of Fury, Tango & Cash, and every TV show that ever existed.  He might not have had an over-stretching line of rabid fans like the Boondock Saints or Chris Hemsworth, but throughout the con he was always busy.

Hong also managed to spend quality face time with all of his fans, asking questions about them and answering their geeky awkward questions in return.  As we approached, he saw my Wife clutching the casual Kirk bear I had just bought her, and he stopped his signing for a moment to walk over to the other end of his table.  He asked her what the bear's name was, she answered shyly that it was Captain Kirk.  He asked her what Captain Kirk sounded like and she just shook her head.  He asked her to do the bear's voice and she couldn't muster up the courage.  Then mister Hong reached out, grabbed the bear, put it to his face and did a rendition of Mr. Ping from Kung Fu Panda.  It was pretty damn amazing. Just what any dork wants to have happen at a con.  When we finally made our way to the front of the line, he signed my David Lo Pan 8x10 "You're Not, But Your Friend Is Shy."  I explained that my "friend" was my wife and he laughed.  A goofy, fun moment.

While waiting in line, I also met fellow Twitter madman and Shatner aficionado, Doubledumbass.  He chastized my choices of fine dining and explained to me where all the great cheesesteaks in Philly were, and I tried to retain the knowledge.  Everyone should check out his site HERE.

The rest of Friday was spent collecting snapshots of Cosplayers; the more random and obscure the reference the better.  Lots of Ghostbusters, Batmans, Spider-Mans, Captain Americas floating around.  A couple of Galactuses and at least one lady Skeletor.  But my absolute favorite pair were the two guys walking around as The Dude & Hunter S. Thompson.  They were committed and never broke character.

Personally, growing up dork, I never quite understood Cosplay.  I still don't.  Twenty years ago at the cons, the only people to walk around in costume were the real weridos and the folks being paid to be there.  It's still the same, but now they are more widely accepted as part of the nerd community.  I guess I should just join the party.  But I'm never gonna throw on a Devil Dinosaur costume...although the idea of me as Devil Dinosaur and The Wife as Moon Boy....hmmmm...there's potential there.  No.  Can't do it.  No one wants to see me caked in red paint and lizard prosthetics.

The Wife on the other hand, really really really really loves all this stuff.  And she's been begging this husband to let her play dress up and get the "look at me" photo attention like these other silly blokes.  And I cannot deny her anymore.  I said that if she wants to dress up like a Monkee Man for this year's San Diego Comic Con than she's more than welcome.  But I'm gonna stick to the nerd shirts.

Saturday was the Main Event.  The Convention Center opened at 10 AM and The Wife & I were nearly first in line, waiting for The Five Captains to make their way to the floor.  My original goal was to just snag Shatner, but the thrill of the con took over and The Wife is such an enabler that I just started throwing money at Wizard World and went for all Five.

The Captains were running about an hour behind schedule so we had to get to know our neighbors.  Another bonus to these kind of events is meeting all the other crazy folks willing to suspend life's essentials for a little close encounter with Star Trek royalty.  We all look over what everyone is bringing to get signed.  Who bought the exclusive print?  Who's bothering with the Rocket Man art?  Who's getting the autobiography signed?  Everyone loves looking at each other's collectibles.

Once The Captains finally arrived it was go go go.  Up first was Patrick Stewart.  He seemed a little grumpy.  And of course, he had his "I Don't Shake Hands Due To Arthritis" sign up.  There was some confusion over the autograph tickets: what the hardcopy tickets meant vs. the computer print out tickets vs. the VIP badges.  Watching him shout back and forth with Kate Mulgrew over what meant what was a lot of fun, especially when Kate just said "Forget It" and started signing whatever anyone put in front of her.  Once the ball got rolling it all went pretty fast.  Patrick Stewart was nice but--on to the next one.  Kate Mulgrew was very happy but we had nothing to say to her cuz Voyager is the lesser love (although The Wife says she's starting to like that show...weird).  Avery Brooks lives up to his jazzy philosophical reputation.  The Wife bought his CD and that made him waaaay happy.  Scott Bakula was probably the friendliest, especially after we told him one of our first dates was seeing him at Ford's Theater and now we're married--"Why Wasn't I Invited?" he joked, making our fanboy hearts pitter patter.

And then came Shatner.

I've loved the man since I was a little kid.  Star Trek.  TJ Hooker.  It doesn't get better than that.  And in the five years since we've been hosting the Shat Attack parties, The Wife and I have become obsessed with all things Shat.  Movies, TV, Books, Comics, Stage, Toys.  Our apartment is busting at the seams with Shatner memorabilia.  And after having some near contact at last year's San Diego Comic Con and last March's Shatner's World production, this was the first time we would be meeting face to face.  And he did not disappoint.

You hear rumors from people that he's an ass to his fans.  Or that he can be dismissive.  Well, I'm happy to report that he was incredibly friendly and gracious with us.  I went first.  I said something along the lines of, "Nice to meet you Mr. Shatner.  Really big fan."  And I had him sign my Captains print and an 8x10 of Captain Kirk.  But The Wife had the real prize.  She unravelled our Shat Attack III poster  in front of him, and he asked "What is this?"  Not gonna lie, I was nervous that he was going to be furious.  That he would not sign some crazy weirdo image of a half dozen Shatner faces melded into the Star Trek III poster design.  But once I explained that we have a party each year that hosts about thirty people, and we use it as a means to raise money for his Ahead With Horses charity--he lit up.  He thanked us for all our donations.  He told us what new & exciting programs he had in store with Ahead With Horses and US Veterans.  And he asked us to include a picture of the Shat Attack group in the next donation as well as a phone number where he could leave a message.  Awesome.

As The Wife & I shuffled out of line, a group of teenagers approached us and asked if they could have their photo taken with the Five Captains print.  I said sure.  Somewhere out there on some random kids' Facebook page is me holding up Kirk, Picard, Janeway, Sisko, and Archer.

The next three hours was spent waiting in line for the Shatner Photo op.  The less said about that experience the better.  When all is said and done we got our two seconds with The Man and have a great, strange photo as proof of the event, but there were several delays and the crowd was restless and downright hostile at times.  People just need to chill.

Saturday pretty much climaxed at 4 o'clock with The Captains panel.  As all the Trekkies started to file into the theater out from the corner burst a tiny golf cart carrying Kate Mulgrew, Shatner, and Patrick Stewart behind the wheel.  They raced around the auditorium to the cheers and applause of all their fans.  It was a crazy sight to behold and I'm so glad I snapped a blurry photograph.

The Panel itself was a typical Q & A and The Captains were all professional naturals despite probably having answered the majority of the questions a million times before.  There were definitely a few gems to be found like the time Patrick Stewart accidentally grabbed hold of Gates McFadden's breasts (see photos below).  Or Shatner asking Kate Mulgrew if she had a friend that wasn't a lover.  Or Avery Brooks saying that he looks forward to.........beaming i.e. teleporting.  And yeah, Shatner also stated for the record that he was thrilled with Chris Pine's performance as Captain Kirk.  Glad to hear that.  Me too.

Sure, as in all Q & As, there are the awkward moments.  But these actors make it work.  When one fan asked Patrick Stewart if he would hug her and Stewart wavered--Shatner belittled him until Stewart jumped off the stage (THUMP!) and gave the girl a massive hug.  I'm sure he was cursing Bill's name but it was a delight to see The Original Series pushing around The Next Generation.

The Wife had to leave Saturday night, so that left me all by myself for Sunday.  But never fear, over at the Quantum Leap panel I met up with Jon from the After Movie Diner podcast (you guys are downloading this show, right?  Cuz if you're not you're missing out on some wonderfully mad movie banter and some incredible interviews like the one last week with Barbara "Re-Animator" Crampton!) and with the power of his press pass we had some of the best seats in the house.

The Quantum Leap panel was another typical Q & A.  Scott Bakula definitely seemed to pleasure himself with busting Dean Stockwell's chops and either Stockwell really didn't want to be there, or he really enjoyed playing the Grumpy Gus.  Bakula went out of his way to answer questions with thoughtful answers, going to a fairly lengthy discussion on the demise of Star Trek Enterprise.  But Stockwell only dribbled out 1 or 2 word answers.  Don't think he was really "feeling" the whole con experience.  Whatever the case, he provided some amazing stares for this photographer.

The Buffy panel was up next.  I always enjoyed the show, but it's The Wife who is the real fan in our family and it was unfortunate that she missed this playful banter.  Kristy Swanson, the original Buffy, was on hand for the questions.  At first I thought it would be really strange to plop her onto the TV obsessed panel, but it was kinda fun to hear her geek on about her experiences.  James Marsters appeared to be the most at peace with his role as showman, and he had plenty of stories at his fingertips.

But the best part of Sunday was just tagging along behind Jon as he gathered interviews and photos for the After Movie Diner.  Standing behind him while he interviewed James Hong at his booth was one of the top thrills of the Con and I can't wait to hear the finished product on Monday's show.  For lunch we hopped on over to the Reading Terminal Market and chowed down on souvlaki while chatting up the merits/demerits of Tarantino & Rodriguez's Grindhouse.  It was really great to finally meet the face behind the voice, and I thank him for allowing me to horn in on his press pass.  Even if he doesn't know a Thanos from a Red Skull.

Yes.  Wizard World Philadelphia was a rip roaring success for this Dork.  I finally got to speak to and be spoken at by the Shatner.  I scored a batch of toys including The Rock's GI Joe Retaliation figure, a TJ Hooker die cast helicopter, a Brave & The Bold Hot Wheel, and a "Hail Borgnine!" Devil's Rain magnet.  I survived the cold stare of Stockwell.  And I finally got to meet fellow internet trolls Doubledumbass and AfterMovieDiner.

Now, I'm fully pumped for next month's San Diego Comic Con.  Bring it.  But can it live up to the new family portrait below???

--Brad