A Fistful of Friday the 13th! (Brad's Picks)

If I were going to pick my favorite Horror Film Slasher, Jason Voorhees most certainly would not be it (that honor must go to Leatherface with Freddy right behind him).  That being said I can watch the Friday the 13th films over and over and over again without ever getting bored despite their stubborn repetitiveness.  To celebrate the first Friday the 13th of 2012, we here at ITMOD are running down our favorite Jason moments.

5.  Jason Knocks Julius' Block Off (Friday the 13th Part VIII:  Jason Takes Manhattan):  Despite being my absolutely least favorite of the Friday films, this punch heard round the world has now appeared on two of my Fistful Fridays.  For a movie promising for Jason to Take Manhattan it spends far too much time on a cruise ship bound for NY with the dullest batch of teen fodder the franchise has to offer.  However, there is a tiny highlight when token black guy Julius decides to go mano y goalie; one swift uppercut later Julius has lost his head.

4.  Jason Steals Freddy's Kill (Freddy vs Jason):  One of the best Midnight Movie screenings I've ever attended was for Freddy vs. Jason, a film I'd been waiting at least ten years to see on the big screen.  The Crowd was totally into this cinematic Cash of the Titans; hooting, hollering, tossing popcorn at the screen, and screaming their damn heads off.  The best Hoot & Holler moment though came when Freddy slowly stalks our favorite Ginger Snap, Katherine Isabelle through his Nightmare boiler room.  Just before Freddy has the chance to give her the 'ole four finger slash, Jason impales her unconscious, nearly date-raped body in a middle America cornfield rave.  The Crowd lost its mind.

3.  Jason in 3-D!!! (Friday the 13th Part 3):  Forget Titanic in 3D, forget The Phantom Menace in 3D, forget Beauty and the Beast in 3D--Give Me Friday the 13th Part III upconverted to 3D NOW!  Two films into his hack & slash universe, Jason Voorhees finally dons the hockey mask and starts chucking pitchforks, machetes, and harpoons RIGHT AT YA!  This is the purpose of 3D.  Gimmicks.  None of this world-building nonsense for me, I just want to dodge summersaulting hammers thank you very much.

2.  Jason Rises From The Grave, Punches Out A Heart (Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI):  Tommy Jarvis has been tormented by Jason Voorhees for two whole films (Parts 4 & 5) but decides at the start of the fifth movie to give Jason a graveyard checkup.  Bad idea.  One mystical lightning strike later and Jason Lives!  First order of business, punching through the chest of Tommy's graverobber friend and reclaiming his hockey mask.  Nice going doofuses.

1.  Evil Gets An Upgrade (Jason X):  I Love, Love, Love this movie.  Earlier I stated that Jason is far from my favorite Slasher, but Jason X is definitely my favorite Slasher Film (mmmmm....okay Texas Chainsaw Massacre is still my favorite but I LOVE JASON X!!!!).  Set in the 25th Century, a High School Field Trip back to the wastelands of Earth uncovers a long frozen Jason just itching to be reawakened for slaughter.  He hacks and slashes his way through orbit and just when you think the kids have him bested, tiny nanites reconstruct him into Uber-Jason!  Now he's all shiny and ready to wrap your naked holograms up in a sleeping bags and bash 'em against holographic trees.  Jason X cranks the absurdity of the franchise up to 11.

Bonus Simon Bisley Art:

--Brad

A Fistful of Slasher Sequels! (Brad's Picks)

We're 17 days into October and I've kept up with my promise to watch one horror flick a day (I'm at 23 films so far), but I have yet to delve into any of the iconic slasher films.  And I'm not so sure I'm going to either.  Really did all those last year, and to be honest, I'm not a super fan for the Jasons and Leatherfaces out there.  Those flicks have their moments but I also tend to like the really weird entries in those franchises rather than the originals.  Example:

5.  Psycho II:  This film was kinda doomed from the start.  HOW DARE YOU! do a sequel to the granddaddy of all slasher films!  And yeah, it's not as good as Hitch's original.  But, I think Anthony Perkins gives a damn good performance as the recently released Norman Bates and the script does a bang up job of sticking you inside Norman's sad, twisted brain.  The gore gets kicked up a bit and there are some decent scares.  Worth a second watch for all you haters out there.

4.  Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Next Generation:  Okay, this is a terrible film.  A terrible film.  But dammit, I just love Matthew McConaughey's ridiculous hitchhiker character; he cranks it up to Spinal Tap 11 screaming and hollering and it's a damn hoot.  The stuff with the mechanical leg just cracks me up.

3.  Freddy's Dead  The Final Nightmare:  This was the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie that I ever saw.  And that's probably why it's on this list.  I loved Freddy from the moment he strapped on the Power Glove and innagaddadavidaed Breckin Meyer to his demise.  And it's in 3D (partially) and we all love that now right?!?!?!

2.  Jason X: This is the movie that taught me how to love bad movies.  Saw it 5 times in the theater, no joke.  10 films into the franchise, but the second film under New Line's watch.  Some bright executive finally came to the idea of launching everyone's favorite goalie into space.  Utterly silly, but totally enjoyable.  The Holodeck slutty camp counselors is classic, but you also gotta love KM's android asskicker and her replaceable nipples.  Dig this upgrade and if you gave me the keys to the kingdom I would easily write Jason X Part II (which they actually did with a couple of whacked novelizations)

1.  Halloween III Season of the Witch:  I enjoy John Carpenter's first film, but Michael Myers is easily my least favorite of the slashers.  He's got a white mask, he tilts his head, he stabs things.  Okay, Jason's the same way but at least the Friday films are so damn tounge in cheek whereas the Halloweens take themselves soooo seriously and are absolutely stale by the second film.  I really, really, really wish that Halloween III had been a success cuz this could have been a rather interesting anthology series instead of same ol' same ol' year after year.  If you want to read why Halloween III is so much fun than you should jump on over to cineAWESOME! and read my Tom Atkins double feature.

--Brad