Showing posts with label Richard Stark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Richard Stark. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Dork Art: Parker Hits Toronto
Just spotted this over at Almost Darwyn Cooke's Blog. This original poster print will be available at TCAF this weekend, along with several special editions of Cooke's Parker comics. The release party is meant as a preview for IDW's relaunch of the Richard Stark novels. As much as I love the Graphic Novel adaptations, even a master like Cooke can't quite equal the succinct brutality of Donald Westlake's writing. The Hunter remains one of the great works of crime fiction, and even though I love to see fanboys raving over the comics, it's frustrating to see so few of them bother with the original books. The University of Chicago Press trade paperbacks are wonderful, but these gorgeously illustrated (again, by Cooke) hardcover novels from IDW will hopefully drag some of these geeks to the hardboiled prose. If you can't make TCAF this weekend (like me & most of the world) the new Hunter hardcover will hit the shelves June 10th for 29.99.
--Brad
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Brad's Week in Dork! (2/10/13-2/16/13)
Early in the week I got a sweet care package from the good folks over at the Warner Archive containing a handful of Jim Brown not-so-classics (Tick Tick Tick, Kenner, The Split, & The Slams) and the plan was to pound through them for Black History Month. But my movie marathon has just not taken shape. I consumed two of 'em and watched a couple other flicks, but this week was mostly about comic books. The pleasure of the week had to be the third issue of Hellboy in Hell - the return of Mignola has proven to be grand indeed. And the turd of the week goes to The Walking Dead's mid season return - what a stinker!
The Walking Dead - "The Suicide King": This show has been defined by its peaks and valleys, and the final product tends to infuriate more often than it exhilarates. Personal Beef #1: After a rather intense cliffhanger conclusion (two months ago!) in which Merle & Daryl are forced into pit fighter combat, Rick & the gang suddenly appear and immediately free them from their death match. Beef #2: The faceless inhabitants of Woodbury loose their hateful, cagefight loving minds and inexplicably choose an inevitable demise in a zombie horde than chillax in the temporarily invaded compound. And the guards don't want them to leave!?!?! F that. I say let this Marvel comics mob with their wishy washy dullard brains jump merrily into the rotting mouths of the undead, and be done with their simple asses. Beef #3: The last five minutes. I won't spoil the absurdity here, but to say that it weakens Rick's character is an understatement that just doesn't fully capture my colossal annoyance. It's a god damn travesty. And where can this horrendous turn of events lead? Nowhere good, I think. My hope for this show is dwindling. Especially when I have the brilliance of the source material right there on the shelf in front of me.
Tick...Tick...Tick...: "If you're gonna kill me go ahead and get it over with, I'm just sorry it's not a man doin it." Jim Brown is the newly elected Sheriff of a rural southern town, the first black man to ever hold the position. Matching the righteous tone of the picture is an overbearing & extremely dated theme song that bonks you over the head every time something potentially heinous might occur. Jim Brown walks into a honky tonk - Theme Song! Jim Brown arrests a white man - Theme Song! Jim Brown faces off an angry mob - Theme Song! It's a bit much. And the film really doesn't feel like Jim Brown's movie the way it should. His Sheriff is so concerned with walking the line that he can't bear to break into violence. He's reserved. He's quiet. He does the right thing. I don't want that. George Kennedy, as his predecessor, is the brute of the film. He's allowed to show rage. And once he sides with Brown cuz "the law is the law" he gets to unleash some serious police brutality, barking and bashing on the racist assholes of the community. Tick...Tick...Tick is a solid enough film surrounding the powder keg of the human rights movement, but somehow a trashier B Movie flick like Roger Corman's The Intruder feels more honest. Tick...Tick...Tick is a message movie, and as is, it feels a little bit like a lie.
The Sour Lemon Score by Richard Stark: After the lighthearted impracticality of The Black Ice Score, this twelfth Parker novel is a return to angry form for the series. After a bank heist goes wrong and Parker's friends lie dead on the ground, our favorite professional thief trolls the East Coast hunting for George Uhl, the man who betrayed the score with the pull of a trigger. But like most Parker novels, the man who seems the most problematic is not the real threat - enter psycho thug Matt Rosenstein. With the introduction of his lady Claire, and some rather frivolous entries, it's nice to see Stark return to the unpleasant darkness of Parker's world and even more enjoyable to read the rage masked by Parker's professionalism. This is the grit where Parker belongs. Swift. Logical. Brutal. And somewhat sad. The Sour Lemon Score doesn't rank as high as The Hunter or The Outfit, but it does belong somewhere near the top of the middle. I'm really looking forward to the next round of novels - I hear the build to Butcher's Moon is violent and severe.
All New X-Men #7: The Young Cyclops wanders into the bank where The Old Cyclops stashes his cash and discoveries a sad note from the past...I mean, his future. I freaking love this book. Writer Brian Michael Bendis is taking what could potentially be a silly plot and rocking the time travel concept for all its worth; reminding this reader of the X-Men's self-righteous history while elevating the melodrama. Plus, Wolverine's frustrated contempt towards young Cyke is hilarious and kinda heartwarming. I don't like to see Mysteque setting her claws into the young X-Man and I really don't want him to become the dark figure that this seres will undoubtedly produce.
Iron Man #6: Yes, I'm still reading this miserable book. I guess I'm curious to see how Gillen takes ol' Shellhead to outer space and the internet banter surrounding Tony Stark's secret origin seems exciting enough. But the sixth issue is just garbage. Stark discovers a purple alien lady, and taking inspiration from Captain Kirk attempts to bed her. Unfortunately, Stark sports a mustache and the purple woman vomits upon its discovery. Uh huh, this is the type of wit we're forced to face month in and month out with this sophomoric nonsense. There is some blather about the Phoenix Force, but I just can't get past the 'stache puker comedy. Last month I said I wouldn't buy this issue and I make that promise again this week...but you know me, I'm gonna fold again. I just really want to enjoy an Iron Man book. Same could be said for Captain America.
Daredevil - End of Days #5: Ben Urich has a chat with The Punisher while he rots behind bars, but as Ed Brubaker proved in his Bendis followup, Frank Castle is just as deadly in handcuffs as he is out of them. This issue also posits the resurrection of Matt Murdoch, in body and spandex. Still, it does feel like it's meandering a bit, and I'm starting to get the sense that it can't possibly put a button on Bendis' epic run. Which is a bummer - for this return to ultimately prove perfunctory would somewhat sully a perfect run of Daredevil comics.
Thunderbolts #4: As I feared, this issue takes a bit of the punch from last issue's killer final page, but I'm still enjoying General Ross' assault on Katya Jaya. And like with the book above, Frank Castle is the all star. Super Heroes have nothing on a man willing to strap a land mine to his chest and play bear hug. And Deadpool gets to enjoy his giggles. What I'm really looking forward to is an Elektra/Punisher team-up - or will it just be a straight up killfest?
Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #20: Miles Morales faces off against his first true Spider-Man villain when the Venom symbiote shows up on his doorstep looking to consume Miles' father for a case of mistaken identity. Is it Eddie Brock under the goo? Is Venom just out for Spidey blood or is there a deeper purpose? Not sure yet, but I'm looking forward to some super hero smackdown and I've got my fingers crossed that Jessica Drew is gonna appear for some much needed backup.
Winter Soldier #15: After Ed Brubaker's disappointing exit, writer Jason Latour picks up the reins and delivers a merry little book. Not much time is spent on the Black Widow memory wipe fallout (that seems to be happening a lot right now in the Marvel universe) as Bucky jumps right into another evil Hydra plot (there seems to be a lot of those too). But where the narrative feels a little too familiar, the tone of the adventure is frothy fun and that is definitely refreshing. Artist Nic Klein has a punchy pulp style and I love his half split Hydra goons sprouting Lovecraftian tentacles. And who does't love a POV shot as Night of the Hunter brass knuckles come flying at you? Still waiting to see if the story actually captivates, but it's a fun book and that's something Brubaker's Cap stories weren't...at least in the last two out of his eight year run. I hate to write that - I'm team Brubaker - but it's bloody true.
Hellboy in Hell #3: I read a lot of Mike Mignola interviews building up to the release of last year's Hellboy in Hell. In most of them he stated how he was currently interested in telling short, little stories set in the underworld. And he also stated that the first three issues of Hellboy in Hell would put the final button on Hellboy's Beast of the Apocalypse problem. I just could not believe that. For twenty years, Hellboy has been struggling to shed his apocalyptic crown - how could three simple issues wrap up all that brooding angst? Well, damn. Mignola has done just that. Hellboy's certainly not free and clear from his doom & gloom and he's still stuck down under, but it does appear that the 666 mantel has been shed. And it's all done in a logical and satisfying manner. I'm shocked and stoked. Plus, this issue also sees the introduction of HB's siblings, a look at his father's present state, Leviathan, and the Prince of Darkness himself. Easily one of my most favorite single issues from the series.
Kenner: Jim Brown plays an American sailor searching the Karma confused streets of Bombay for the man who murdered his partner. As he bumps into some awkwardly Westernized interpretations of hinduism he also stumbles upon a young boy searching for his American father. The two form an antagonistic friendship that's tested even further when the boy's mother inexplicably falls for Jim Brown. I wish I could report a lost classic, but Kenner is dullsville at best and painfully boring at worst. I will say that there is one surprising twist that got me to sit up and take notice, but by the time the train barrels through the screenplay it's far too late for me to care about a surprise death.
Skyfall: The blu ray is truly stunning, and I stand by my previous statements that this is the most beautiful looking James Bond film to date. The climactic Straw Dogs siege on the moors, the high rise Shanghai assassination, the hotel room shave - this is movie art ready for the frames on your walls. And Javier Bardem's teasing psychopath is the most fun we've had with a Bond villain since the days of Sean Connery and Goldfinger. Sure, the pacing seems a little clunky as we jump from one interrogation to the next, but I love all the banter, and the homefront assault adds a nice change of p(L)ace for the typically international intrigue.
I Come In Peace (aka Dark Angel): "Fuck You Space Man!" I haven't seen this film in nearly twenty years, but thanks to the miracle of On Demand I was able to bask in its bizarro beauty one more time. Dolph Lundgren is a street wise detective investigating the villainous White Boys gang, and when he's not distracted by his eclectic art collection he's spewing pithy one-liners. After his partner is executed he's saddled with Brian Benben's spit shined G-Man and the buddy cop pair quickly find themselves involved in an intergalactic drug war...wait, what? Yeah. So one giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to harvest drugs from our brains, while another giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to kick that one's ass. Yeah, ok. That's bonkers. But AWESOME! I Come In Peace is an incomprehensible mess, but it's also loaded with endless explosions and gratuitous intergalactic murder - can't beat that, right? Made at the tail end of the 1980s, the film desperately wants to ape some of that Walter Hill 48 Hours charisma and in their own way Benben & Lundgren succeed through sheer oddity.
Justified - "Foot Chase": So far, this episode is one of the season's highlights. In attempt to beat Walton Goggins to the punch - the punch being the footless Gerald McRaney (another Deadwood alum as well as the better half of Simon & Simon) - Timothy Olyphant and Jim Beaver have themselves a federal/local law team-up. Olyphant's not sure he can trust Beaver given his seedy history with Goggins, but the two eventually form a jabbing repartee that brought great smiles to this Bullock/Ellsworth fan. McRaney appears not to be the mysterious Drew Thompson, but I wouldn't count those chickens before they roost and I'm hoping that McRaney still has a large role to play for this season - whether he's one-legged or not.
The Walking Dead - Book One: Friday night was the 9th meeting of the Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club and we finally convinced enough folks to dive into Robert Kirkman's zombie opus. I was really looking forward to revisiting this series, especially given my seemingly unsurmountable hatred of the last tv episode, and I'm thinking I'll plow my way through the rest of the big hardcovers. Taking that into account, I was a little surprised at my lackluster enthusiasm for the first two arcs in this series. Kirkman doesn't quite have a handle on these characters just yet, and even though all of his comics are bogged down with expository dialogue, this book is practically bursting at the seams with blah blah blah. For the first story, I was really only moved by the Jim character - the idea that this quiet mechanic has suffered so much and the moment when he unleashes his rage it results in his quiet death. Very sad. But where as the television show seems to drone on and on with some of these themes, this first book rushes through them. Hershel's farm is but a drop in the bucket, just when some serious philosophizing begins the barn doors are opened and the walkers burst out. I remember falling head over heels with this book during the first trade, but as my memory reworks itself I'm thinking my love truly doesn't set in till they get to the prison. So on to hardcover number 2. For the most part, the group enjoyed this book but only a couple folks seemed interested in pursuing further issues. Curious. But ya know what? Invincible is easily the superior saga and no one in the group got that except Matt & myself.
Batman #17: Scott Snyder's supposedly epic Death of the Family arc comes to a close and I find myself a little disappointed. That being said, I thought this issue pulled off a lot more drama than I was expecting given my lukewarm response to previous issues, and Greg Capullo's art continues to amaze with its ghastly beauty. What's under the dinner dome? The answer is nasty and genuinely surprising...even if five pages later status quo veil is dropped. But when you compare this tale to other Snyder vehicles like The Court of Owls or The Black Mirror, it really offers nothing new to the Bat mythos. Joker is a crazy bastard. Batman won't kill him. The never ending stalemate continues. I'm happy Snyder got this character out of his system, and I'm hoping he can move on to some new territory. More original characters, less sandbox whimsy.
Fatale #13: "She'd known for a long time there was more than one layer to the sky." I have yet to be disappointed by Fatale. Jumping hundreds of years into the past, we get a glimpse at a creature very similar to Josephine and the witchfinder cult so desperate to carve her up. There are a few clues as to the mystical origin at the center of this noir story, but these clues offer more mindbending questions than answers. This issue still has that 40s dread, but artist Sean Phillips is really getting his Hammer Horror freak on here and I can perfectly imagine Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee walking around inside these panels. As much as I enjoyed last month's stand alone issue, #13 is even better. Cannot wait for The Wild West excursion next month.
Uncanny X-Men #1: I'm pretty sure that I would have enjoyed this book if not for artist Chris Bachalo. I've never been a fan; his style seems to be a muddy bastardization of manga and I just can't grasp how his characters bend & wobble all over the page. Writer Brian Michael Bendis attempts to explore the dirty revolution of this current Cyclops dictator, and the mole revealed on the final page is definitely intriguing. But Uncanny X-Men lacks the joy of its sister book All New X-Men, and if Bachalo is on for the long haul than I'm not sure I can handle his squishy interpretation. As with several other Marvel Now books, I'll give it six months before making my final decision.
Powers - Bureau #1: Half the time I love Brian Michael Bendis (Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, All New X-Men) and the other half of the time I find him completely and utterly frustrating (New Avengers, Avengers, Mighty Avengers), and Powers is the very personification of this annoyance. There are books in this series that I find absolutely breathtaking (Supergroup, The Sellouts, Forever) but then there are stories that refuse to continue the earth shattering events of previous books. Take this new relaunch for example. In the last book the world seemed to have been completely devastated a la BPRD Hell On Earth, but now we see that it was just a localized event and the federal government is back to the business of enforcing Powers laws. Just another crime of the week. Dammit. Let's get back to Walker's crazy ass Conan The Barbarian past. Once you hit the Forever arc there should be no turning back, but Bendis seems to refuse forward momentum. So very frustrating.
Fantastic Four #4: My favorite issue from Matt Fraction's run so far. Not as good as FF or Hawkeye, but I appreciated the time shifting structure of this story. Reed is writing an apology note of sorts to Sue, explaining his POV at the time of their first meeting and how it parallels their current planetary adventure. He's basically using a lot of words to say he's sorry for hiding their cellular disease. But I don't think Sue's going to just role over with hugs & kisses. Fraction seems to be amping up the family melodrama and I'm a sucker for that stuff as much as I am the inter-dimensional science-fiction. Basically Fraction is showing us what the essential Marvel book looks like and you should all be on board. Excelsior!
Archer & Armstrong #7: Another solid issue, but not big shocks or awes. Archer, Armstrong, and The Eternal Warrior all seem to be on the same side at this point despite some passive aggressive banter and some not so passive death threats. If I had any complaint at all it would be this new Geomancer character. She's sassy and kooky and I want none of that. Hopefully she's just a storytelling device and not a new addition to the team.
Rome - Season 2: "I have the same sickness." And you thought the stabbing murder of Julius Caesar was rough? The second season of Rome kicks off with our two favorite Centurions descending even further down their personal hells and they leave a massive trail of bloody corpses in their wake. Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a murder as brutal or hateful as the one found in the second to last episode of this season - now, that is how you choke somebody to death. Granted the rise & fall of Marc Antony (and that Cleopatra slut) is a little less glamorous than the mighty Caesar's savage execution, but actors Kevin McKidd & Ray Stevenson are a perfect set of badasses to follow, even if they are the most pathetic and deplorable set of friends. And I'd rank their bromance right up there with Denny Crane & Alan Shore. That's love, baby.
--Brad
Labels:
Batman,
Brian Michael Bendis,
Dolph Lundgren,
Fatale,
Hellboy,
I Come In Peace,
James Bond,
Jim Brown,
Justified,
Marvel Now,
Parker,
Richard Stark,
Robert Kirkman,
Rome,
Skyfall,
Walking Dead,
Week in Dork
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Brad's Week in Dork! (2/3/13-2/9/13)
I started this week out strong. Finishing off the Shaft trilogy with its greatest entry, basking in the 80s nostalgia of Walter Hill's Bullet To The Head, and having my brain melted by the two part Dark Knight Returns animated movies. Then the flu hit. And I was done. From the midweek point I was a sleepy wreck of a human. My Blaxploitation marathon was put on hold, and all I could do was drift through a few episodes of Rome and pick at Richard Stark's The Black Ice Score. But the beast didn't stay with me long, and I was back to my usual dorky activities before the week was over. Thank goodness. I'm done with that nonsense for 2013.
Shaft in Africa: "Cat named Shaft ain't gonna be bad with a stick." For some indiscernible reason, the tribes of Africa travel to New York to recruit P.I. John Shaft in their war against the white slave trade. After being drugged, tortured, and sexually teased by an African princess, Shaft agrees to travel to the dark continent and go deep cover as a champion stick fighter. This film is beautifully bonkers, and it's everything this franchise never should have become, but somehow the once-upon-a-time NYC Street Soldier turned International Man of Mystery completely works.
Bullet to the Head: Don't fool yourself. The 80s are dead. Walter Hill might be the director on this picture, but this is not the same man who helmed 48 Hours or Red Heat. He's doing what he can, there is a taste of former glory - And that's enough. Stallone is a brick. And he can act where Arnie most certainly struggles. I love watching him wield axes and punch knives through skulls. The problem is Sung Kang's goodie two-shoes detective. He never gets down in the muck with Stallone. He whines and shirks at the violence. For this film to truly take hold of its 80s Action Pride, Kang needed to match badass with badass and, unfortunately, he shrugs more often than pulling the trigger. He's more sidekick than partner and the result is an unnecessary presence. Still, there is that Walter Hill flavor. Stallone is a killer. No shine. I certainly appreciate that.
Batman - The Dark Knight Returns Parts 1 & 2: "Gotham City Belongs To The Mutants!!!" These two animated films represent a geek miracle as equally significant to last year's blockbustering Avengers. Frank Miller's revolutionary classic always seemed like an impossible adaptation - from it's abrasive politics to its downright cheerful brutality. What producer in his right mind would touch it with a ten foot pole? And what studio would allow it the light of day without some serious fine tuning? Well, in a post Christopher Nolan world, Warner Brothers knows they have nothing to loose and Bruce Timm finally gets his chance to preach the graphic novel gospel. The first film is fun enough. Peter Weller's old man Wayne is a beast of character, having stewed in rage for ten years, his Batman returns to the deathwish streets of Gotham with a new thirst for bone breaking justice. He finds a new Robin, takes on a mentally crippled Two-Face, and goes twelve rounds with The Mutant Leader. But it's the second film where geeks around the world will loose their collective shit. In part 2, we get Michael Emmerson's kill crazy Joker & the Tunnel of Love slaughterhouse. As the Clown Prince of Crime blasts one innocent bystander after the next and thrusts his blade over & over into The Dark Knight's stomach, your mouth will be dropped. You have never seen a Joker like this. And you've never seen Batman's anger so perfectly detailed in a wad of spit. Then you have Ronald Reagan's Superman. What a tool. His final (and I mean FINAL) confrontation with Batman is the most epic brawl we've seen in superhero cinema. I love Nolan's Dark Knight films, but these two animated outings are perfect. Sure, I miss the noirish machismo of Frank Miller's narration but after a few minutes you'll get over the loss. The Dark Knight Returns is essential Bat-Viewing and I can't understand why the internet has not exploded with the proper praise.
Black Samson: "There goes a righteous dude. He keeps all the honky mother fuckers off the street." Yep, there is not a more earnest hero in all of blaxploitation. Rockne Tarkington is a man of many dashikis - he's a lion tamer, a street fighter, and a responsible owner of a respectable topless bar. When the mob saturates his neighborhood in smack, Black Samson unites the community against the white faced devils and the resulting block war is a fist pumping crowd pleaser. William Smith as the vein popping racist henchman is utterly fantastic in his depravity, and he makes the perfect foil for Tarkington's impassioned crusader. It's savage villainy versus calm & cool kendo artistry. Black Samson is simply a good night out at the movies.
Alex Cross: I find the popularity of Tyler Perry to be absolutely perplexing. I don't get the Madea films, and I certainly don't understand his appeal as a leading actor. As Alex Cross, the all knowing and irritatingly pompous Detroit detective, Tyler Perry is a stern faced block of wood. If Rockne Tarkington is the ultimate example of impassioned earnestness than Perry is on the opposite end of the righteousness spectrum. Frowny faces and dead eyes do not make a badass. Not to mention that the narrative is all over the place. In one frame a character can be completely out of his mind with rage and in the very next frame he can be totally serene. It feels like three separate scripts edited together. Sure, Matthew Fox seems to be having fun as the serial killing cage fighter cum wannabe artist, but the rest of the film doesn't know when to just accept its b movie status. I can't remember if this film was successful or not, but we gotta put a stop to this franchise immediately. Morgan Freeman couldn't make it work so please don't bother.
The Black Ice Score by Richard Stark: After suffering the banality of the Jason Statham film I found myself drawn back into the violent world of Parker. Written six years after the original novel, this is the eleventh book in the series and yes, Parker has softened a little. He's got a woman. He's got something to loose. When political thugs from the African nation of Dhaba contact Parker for a job, he takes the heist not for the money but cuz his lady might find it noble. That sounds more damaging to the Parker character than it actually is, Donald Westlake makes the scenario work within Parker's ideology, but The Black Ice Score does feel lightyears away from books like The Hunter or even The Jugger. Not a highlight in the series, but it got my juices flowing again and I'm already on to the next book.
The Invisible War: Still working my way through the Oscar nominated docs and this film gave me a powerful wallop. Filmmakers Kirby Dick & Amy Ziering interview dozens of men & women who were raped while serving in the military. Their accounts are so prevalent and horrifying that it is hard for my brain to even wrap itself around the tragedy, of both the violent acts as well as the military's seemingly blind eye towards them. I'm still processing the stories - the resulting anger, pain, frustration, and the expanse of the crimes. It seems so unbelievable. But I don't necessarily doubt it...it's just so messed up. I don't know...the film hurt to watch. Just damn sad.
Star Trek - Deep Space Nine Season 7: We finally did it! The Wife & I worked our way through DS9 and when we past through the other side of the wormhole, the little lady was a true believer in The Emissary. And with good reason. This is the single greatest season of Star Trek. With an endate in place, the Next Generation off the air, and Voyager stumbling around the Delta quadrant, Deep Space Nine had full rein of The Federation toybox and the producers of the show took full advantage. While Captain Benjamin Sisko recovers from the murder of Jadzia Dax, the villain Gul Dukat finds his own religion in the flames of the pah wraiths. The Dominion War consumes the season but their seemingly unstoppable evil shows signs of weakness as The Founders fall victim to the cold war tactics of Section 9, the Federation's black ops devision fronted by the delightfully arrogant William Sadler. The last several seasons have been plagued with seriousness, but like all Star Trek, the writers still find time to be playful - but it actually succeeds in DS9 with its Romulan Baseball and James Darran's swinging Vic Fontaine. Season 7 of Deep Space Nine really does feel like the beginning of Ron Moore's Battlestar Galactica, and it teases the mind for the possibilities of a modern day Star Trek show. Where No Man Has Gone Before? How 'bout long arcing narrative storytelling. Make it so.
--Brad
Thursday, January 24, 2013
A Fistful of Parkers! (Brad's Picks)
This weekend sees the release of my first Highly Anticipated movie of 2013, Taylor Hackford's Parker. Everything I've seen from the trailers leads me to believe that this is not going to be the Richard Stark film I want it to be, but blah blah blah. You're tired of me bitching and moaning about this adaptation. And ya know what, that above photo is killer. That one still is worth fifty shoddy J Lo trailers. Still, Parker's Rules...yeash. If you want to know what code Donald Westlake's professional crook actually lived by than you should jump on over to the University of Chicago's new 50 Years of Parker website and discover the truth behind literature's hardest lowlife.
What gives me the biggest pause when watching the Parker trailers though, is that this is the first film actually allowed usage of the character's real name. Adaptations in the past have used Walker (Point Blank), Porter (Payback), Macklin (The Outfit), McClain (The Split), Nelson (Made in U.S.A.), and Stone (Slayground). But Donald Westlake wouldn't allow filmmakers the name Parker unless they committed to a series of adaptations. But now that the man has shuffled off this earthly plane, his estate has sold off "Parker." And that's cool. Family's gotta eat. I just hope that Taylor Hackford and the producers realize what a treat they've been given - and I really don't want them to squander it.
So all this raging over a silly name got me thinking. There are already a lot of Parkers occupying the movie landscape. You've got gangster moll Bonnie Parker, Marty McFly's time traveling honey Jennifer Parker, the jazzy genius of Charlie Parker, and even lost TV classic Parker Lewis Can't Loose. But who are the greatest characters to rock that handle? Agree or don't, these are my favorite silver screen Parkers.
5. Kristen Parker (A Nightmare on Elm Street III & IV): The Nightmare franchise has three true heroines. Heather Langenkamp is obviously the most recognizable as first final girl, Nancy. Then you've got Lisa Wilcox as preggers Alice Johnson. But if I'm gonna get real, my favorite bit of Freddy bait is Patricia Arquette as Dream Warrior whackjob Kristen Parker. Her character would return as nightmare fodder for the fourth film, but in the third Nightmare flick, this Parker transformed her teenaged crazybrains into a Freddy Krueger meat grinder and managed to steal the saga from poor little Nancy. Plus, try as he might, Freddy couldn't swallow this tough (albeit whiney & screamy) chick.
4. Leonard Parker (Leonard Part 6): Truth be told, I haven't seen this flick in years. But it certainly left an impression. Bill Cosby is a secret agent pulled out of retirement to battle bird beasties and killer lobsters. All he has is a nifty getup and few sticks of delicious butter. I remember seeing this in the theater in 1987 and my little kid brain just couldn't understand the weird. And I remember my mother explaining to me how horrible the film truly was...yeah, I think this is gonna have to get Netflixed soon.
3. John Parker (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension): When villainous red aliens from the planet 10 escape the prison of Dimension 8, Rock & Roll Scientist Buckaroo Banzai and his badass regulators are the only hope for our tiny blue planet. And a key member of Buck's Band of Heroes is John Parker, a nice guy alien with superior wall hopping skills and space born knowledge. I'm still waiting for that spin-off movie where Buck & Parker take on the World Crime League. Make it happen, Hollywood.
2. Peter Parker (Spider-Man): It seems pretty fashionable to beat up on Sam Raimi's Spider-Man these days. But as fidgety and awkward as Andrew Garfield is as The Amazing Skateboarder-Man, Toby Maguire's Peter Parker felt like a real outsider nerd. He had a doughy, blank stare that perfectly replicated the woe-is-me center to pre-spider bite Parker. It's a mope factor essential to the character; you can't have the superior wall crawler without that deep seeded self loathing. And Raimi's first Spider-Man captured that loser complexion perfectly.
1. Parker (Alien): The first time I watched Alien, I thought it was Yaphet Kotto's movie. As members of the Nostromo were picked off by H.R. Giger's star beast, and as Veronica Cartwright looses her shit & Sigourney Weaver turns hard, I thought it was Kotto's Parker that was going to rise to the occasion and flame thrower the hell outta the monster. Unfortunately (for Yaphet) the movie doesn't play out that way, and cinema is granted it's first ever female ass kicker. But despite the brilliant character twists and turns of Ridley Scott's masterpiece, I still root for Parker to come out on top every time. His relationship with Harry Dean Stanton sells the space trucker reality of the story, and I am compelled to dream of an alternate Fringe universe where the film devolves into a Parker revenge narrative - credits roll as Yaphet Kotto sits smiling atop the acid filled corpse of the Alien. One can dream.
Walker Is Still My Parker
--Brad
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Parker Movie Trailer Infuriates
Yep. I'm gonna hate this movie. I want to quell my troll rage but I just can't. Donald Westlake is dead. Hollywood now has its first opprotunity to use the "Parker" name and not just a stand-in (Walker in Point Blank, Porter in Payback) and they completely F Up the character. "Civilized people need to follow rules" my ass. Parker is a sociopath, not Robin Hood. And the unstoppable Jennifer Lopez romance--so damn infuriating.
Now, take away my love for the Richard Stark novels and I might be able to see some quality in this new Statham venture. But my dorkdom won't let me be happy here. I'm not just annoyed, I'm fucking sad. Sigh. Get over yourself, Brad. You've still got the Darwyn Cooke comics. Outside of the actual Stark novels, those are pretty damn perfect. And maybe one day we'll get that Michael Shannon Parker flick.
--Brad
Monday, October 1, 2012
The Parker Poster Is Here...
Sigh. Been a few months since we've gotten any word on this flick, but there you are ladies and germs--The first official poster for Taylor Hackford's Parker film courtesy of IGN. And it makes me all kinds of sad. I love Jason Statham. And with the right screenplay and the right director I might even forget what a poor choice he is for Richard Stark's Parker. After all, it's not like Lee Marvin was the perfect choice to portray him for John Boorman's mad Point Blank - he just made it work. But this poster? It's so damn bland. "To Get Away Clean, You Have To Play Dirty." Give me a freaking break. Who knows, maybe there's a hard film behind this photoshop travesty but I'm guessing this January getaway is gonna be just another pathetic pretender to the thrown. A trailer should be hitting the net any day now, so we'll just have to wait and see.
--Brad
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Dork Art: Lee Marvin's Kung Fu Grip
And since watching Point Blank I've been doing my usual internet trolling for the perfect Walker/Lee Marvin art and I've found a couple of extra bits of hardass joy.
Hunting for Walker art and stumbling upon more Jason Statham as Parker set photos got my brain a cranking again on who I would cast as Parker if given the chance. I know I've stated Mark Valley, John Hamm, and Clive Owen in the past. But an idea just struck me--how 'bout Michael Shannon! That guy definitely can fill the shoes of Parker's brutish side. Before he looses his way in Boardwalk Empire, Shannon shows a lot of promise of Parker's no-nonsense kinda crime work. And he's got the perfect Jack Palancey sorta mug for pre-Getaway Face Parker.
So maybe after Shannon goes Zod on us in Man of Steel and Jason Statham's cowboy Parker gets America to go Richard Stark raving mad than we'll be granted with another Shannonriffic Parker/Walker/Porter/Whatever. Yeah, as if.
--Brad
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)