Matt’s Week in Dork! (4/6/14-4/12/14)

    Mostly just movies this week, but good times, none the less.  I love living in the greater DC area.  The options for seeing movies, movies you just don’t get to see on the big screen elsewhere…It’s the berries.

The Raid 2: Berandal:  The Raid was a pretty intense, violent, and action packed little movie.  It has, essentially, the same story as Dredd, but set in Indonesia instead of MegaCity 1 (pick your urban hellscape).  With the sequel, the world is greatly expanded, with several factions of organized crime, corrupt cops, various heavies, and all kinds of horrible places to die.  As far as the plot goes, there’s nothing to write home about.  It’s the usual "cop goes undercover to infiltrate organized crime, using the headstrong, screw-up scion of a major crime family" story you’ve seen dozens of times.  But the cast and the action are what make the film stand on its own.  This is, straight up, one of the most violent films I’ve ever seen, and almost certainly the most violent film I’ve seen that somehow managed to get an R rating from the MPAA.  Of course, we know, you can show almost all the violence you want, so long as you don’t talk realistically about sex (or show a penis).  But even so, I’m shocked this was able to get an R.  If anything I’ve seen warrants and NC-17, it’s this film.  The action and violence are extremely well done, and in spite of a lot of handheld work, I never got frustrated and annoyed by it like I do in most of our modern ‘shaky-cam’ action scenes.  The meat-hook brutality of the combat is at times grueling.  But for action/martial arts fans, this one is well worth seeing.  So.  Dang.  Violent.  Probably the biggest surprise is that the extremely cliché character of the head-strong son of the mob boss isn’t horribly annoying.  I actually like him and his Asian Bruce Campbell cool.

12 Years a Slave:  “I don’t want to survive.  I want to live.”  I know the basics of the history.  I know how economic and religious ideas came together (with a dash of scientific quackery) in a horrible partnership that created the national shame that was the enslavement of large numbers of Africans in the early Americas through the 1800s (let’s skip the post Civil War awfulness for the sake of this discussion).  I’ve read the books and I’ve seen the movies.  But I don’t get it.  I don’t understand how it could be so widely practiced and accepted.  I know that it was.  And I know that similar things go on today, be it genital mutilation and enshrouding of women or colossal oppression of a people by their government, or whatever.  I know that it happens.  I see it.  But I don’t get it.  How did it take so long to stop what was so obviously a horrible and disgusting practice?  I don’t know.  That’s what I kept thinking through watching this movie.  How did so many people let it happen, keep it going, revel in it?  The movie itself is beautifully immersive, capturing the beauty of the land, while not shying away from the horrors visited brother against brother, sister against sister.  The story is compelling and the acting fantastic.  There’s good reason this was up for all the awards.  But it is a brutal viewing, no doubt about it.  If I have one critique of the film, it’s that I never got the sense of passing time.  I feel like part of the horror of Solomon Northup’s journey was how much of his life was lost.  But the movie felt like it took place over a matter of weeks or months.  Still, it’s a heck of a powerful movie.  Thinking about it over the course of the week, what made this movie more effective for me than some others on the same subject may be that Solomon Northup started the film as a free man, minding his own business, who gets kidnapped and taken to a hostile land.  I can relate to that more than the usual story of a person who grew up under the boot heal of slavery.  It makes things less abstract.

Particle Fever:  This movie made me want to go out and do Science! for a living.  I know that’s not in the cards.  I’m too old, and I suck at math.  But for an hour and a half, I felt like I could be part of all this wonder and the expansion of Human understanding.  Through the eyes of a handful of interesting physicists, we see the final stages of the construction and early tests of the Large Hadron Collider, a machine designed to smash particles together and see what comes out.  Some of these people had theories that were decades old, with no ability to test them until this massive machine was built.  The movie does an excellent job of showing what life on the inside of this particular fishbowl was like, while showing the passions of the people involved.  I also like that it prominently and positively featured women in science without being about women in science.  Typically with a movie like this, if they were going to have one of the key protagonists be a woman, they’d spend 10 or 15 minutes talking about the challenge of being a woman in a male dominated field.  Something that would almost certainly be off-putting for young women looking to get into that field.  Instead, we see women working right alongside men in the office, in the classrooms, and in the construction of the machine, and running the overall project, just as it should be.  No, it’s not like it was a 50/50 split.  But the mix is a heck of a lot better than a couple decades ago.  And if we stop scaring our daughters off of male dominated fields by driving home how challenging they’ll be, maybe that split will decrease more in the coming years.  A movie like this is going to be a heck of a lot more inspirational than one that focuses on the negative.  And inspirational is how I’d describe it.  I’ll admit, there were several times, when the music swelled, the camera moved  over the machine, or we watched one of these scientists’ dawning awareness of new revelations, that I got a bit misty.  Watching the work of so many people come together.  Watching the power of the Human mind to unlock the secrets of the universe, even if only in a small way.  And of course, knowing that science transcends culture and border, becoming the collective effort of our whole species to better know the nature of reality, without the weight of our hatreds and fears.  Is uplifting.

Alexandria The Greatest City:  Over the last decade or so, I’ve become quite the fan of Bettany Hughes and her passion for history.  This exploration of Alexandria is cursory, but interesting.  It makes a good deal of use of clips from the Alexandria set film Agora.  There’s not a lot to this one, but Hughes always makes it interesting, and makes me want to read more.

Lizzie Borden Took an Ax:  No, no, no.  I didn’t think this was going to be what we might traditionally think of as ‘good.’  But as soon as it started, I had that Quantum Leap ‘Oh, boy’ moment.  It’s shot like crappy TV.  It’s written like crappy TV.  It’s crappy TV.  Everyone in this should know better.  I don’t know what the idea was in using modern Black Keys wannabe music for the soundtrack.  But it was bad.  A bad idea.  On a purely shallow note, Christina Ricci did look extremely cute in the period costumes.  I wish she could have stepped out of this movie and into a good Western or whatever.

Battle of the Darned:  Dolph Lundgren teams up with killer robots to fight zombies?  Sold!  Actually, this movie is better than I expected, but that might be to its detriment.  If it was worse, it might have been more fun.  It’s not good enough to recommend.  It’s OK.  The kind of thing that if you find playing while you’re flipping channels, you could do much worse.  The camera shakes way to much (it is an action movie made after the Bourne franchise) and the CG on the robots is wonky in places.  But it’s OK.  I liked the scenes with Dolph and the robots back to back.  I’d have liked more of that.

Engineering Ancient Egypt:  Another documentary presented by Bettany Hughes, this time on two of Egypt’s most successful pharaohs, Khufu and Ramses II.  By examining the whys and wherefores of building the pyramids first, and the temple at Abu Simbel, she gets into the belief systems and key historic events that shaped the two men and their times.  As often happens, taking the time to look into history produces information that doesn’t jive with generally held beliefs.  One of the primary things I grew up with, that has been rather soundly trounced is the idea that slaves (generally thought to have been Hebrew slaves) built the pyramids.  Hughes’s documentaries are always entertaining and informative, though frequently only introductory.  They’re good starts for further research.

    On Thursday night Brad and I, and a couple others from our graphic novel group, all headed out to the Alamo to watch a VHS projection of that classic, 3 Dev Adam, one of the best Captain America films ever made.  Awesome.

3 Dev Adam (aka Turkish Captain America):  What can one say about this film?  The plot is totally unintelligible, and I don’t know if that’s because of the subtitles or the editing.  The villains have a plan, I guess.  The heroes have a plan, too.  Or something.  They fight sometimes.  In the middle of fight scenes, they often cut to people walking.  Throughout most of the film, it sounds like there are nervous horses on cobblestones, which I think is supposed to be the sounds of footsteps.  I’ve got no idea.  But it was all awesome.  A film to share with friends, for sure.  Plus, who doesn’t love an awkward puppet moment during sexual coupling?

A Touch of Sin:  I went into this film knowing nothing about it at all, beyond the poster image of the guy sitting on his motorcycle in front of a crashed fruit truck.  I recommend going into it the same way.  I won’t give away story or character.  But I’ll say this about the film; it’s beautifully shot and well acted.  It has a slow pace, but isn’t ever dull.  There are some gorgeous images of China, even when they’re of various ugly things or environments you’d never want to live in or possibly even go to.  The film feels extremely contemporary, and not just because it features a lot of people staring at their cell phones.  And if I was left with any message, it’s ‘don’t go to China.’  Very worth seeking out, though.  Know in advance that there is some rather graphic violence.

The Raid:  Having watched The Raid 2 a few days back, I decided to revisit the first one.  It’s a heck of a violent movie.  Not much in the way of plot, but that would have gotten in the way of the horrible, bone-cracking action.  Anyone into brutal action movies needs to see this one.  Good camera work, nasty violence, and excellent gun and hand to hand choreography.

Nova: The Vikings:  This documentary from 2000 does a pretty good job of reintroducing the Vikings, putting the sword to some commonly held misconceptions.  I’m always fascinated by our evolving understanding of those who came before.  This is a very cursory examination of the subject, but still managed to have some interesting bits for me to look into, especially with the Vikings in Russia.

Ninotchka:  When three bumbling Soviets in Paris screw up a deal for the Reds back home, Moscow sends along a hard-line agent to kick things into shape, in the shapely Greta Garbo.  French playboy Melvyn Douglas sets his sights on melting her heart, unleashing the charming woman hiding beneath the utilitarian comrade.  Ernst Lubitsch crafts another supremely funny, cheeky, and surprisingly sexy comedy.  It’s funny how timeless the issues of the film, then quite topical, remain.

Orca: The Killer Whale:  Obviously made to capitalize on the huge success of Jaws, this Ahab Vs. Killer Whale film looks pretty good, but is mostly just silly.  I love the cast and Michael Anderson knows how to make a good looking film.  But it’s so hackneyed.

I just wanna watch the world burn!

    I’ve been doing a bunch of reading, but from a bunch of different books, none of which I’m all that close to finishing.  Dang, Lord of Light is a dense read.

-Matt

Brad's Week In Dork! (3/23/14-3/29/14)

This may have been my Favorite Week of the Year so far.  I'm fully entrenched in Ed Brubaker's Captain America run, and I'm seriously enjoying this mash of espionage & spandex.  It certainly has it's ups and downs, but I can't think of a better example in mainstream comics that expertly balances nostalgia for the Silver Age with proper forward momentum of character (hmmmmm...maybe a case could be made for Grant Morrison's Batman).  It's just a miracle of comics that Brubaker could take a tired concept of Back From The Dead & transform it into gut-wrenching super hero drama.  And then just when you're getting used to the idea of Bucky Barnes - Winter Soldier, they go ahead and kill Steve Rogers!  Yet another eye rolling Dead's Not Dead cliche written to exception.  The arc is not without its irritants, but having now read 2/3rds of Brubaker's Cap, I can safely say that it's my favorite run in all the Marvel Universe.

The Wife has been a busy lady with work & play rehearsals, so I found myself with a lot of time on my hand this week.  We only managed to spend one evening together, and knocked out one film in our Marvel Studios Marathon - The Avengers.  Ah, but what a movie.  Love nearly every second of it.  It brings great giddy gobs of joy to this stunted youth, and it fills my heart with fuzzy warmth since The Wife also squees squishy enthusiasm for Earth's Mightiest Heroes.  She's a real sucker for Team Whedon.  Can't blame her, right?

When I wasn't reading comics or feverishly anticipating next week's The Winter Soldier, I was doing what I do best - watching movies.  Made only two trips to the theater this week, and both to The Alamo.  On Thursday I caught The Grand Budapest Hotel again since the Draft House was giving away Crossed Keys pins.  I'm never one to pass up swag.  And on Friday I caught Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest, Sabotage.  Yeash.  What a pile of steaming...shit.  Can't hide it.  That movie was terrible.  Easily the worst film I've seen in 2014.  Time for Arnie to hang up his boots, retire into the realm of character actor.  Sad to type, but true.  It's certainly time for me to give up on David Ayer.  That guy is simply an atrocious filmmaker.  And speaking of atrocious filmmakers, I saw Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac (in the safety of my own home thanks to VOD).  I just don't get this guy.  Shockmeister?  Art fiend?  Provocateur?  Boring, I say.

As much as I want to claim this week for Captain America, probably the biggest event was Wednesday's Godzilla-A-Thon.  Thanks to Co-Dork Matt & Kevin from Big Planet Comics, I was able to knock out a good chunk from my Cinematic Resolutions.  I've still got a few Godzillas to go before the remake hits on May 16th, but I'm feeling more confident that I'll get there now.  Outside of Shat Attacks & Hest Fests, this is the first full day Marathon we've done in years.  Dork Thug Life.  Anyway, enough with this rambling, on to the rest of the mini reviews...

Wattstax:  In 1972, seven years after the Watts Riots, Stax Records held a concert at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum as a means of tragic commemoration and cultural celebration.  Often cited as the African American answer to Woodstock, I'll always choose to spend my time with Rufus Thomas or The Staple Singers over the hippie smoke of The Grateful Dead.  Has there ever been a label as consistent as Stax?  Doubtful.  But this is not simply a concert film.  Director Mel Stuart intercuts the funk with interviews from various Watts citizens, and their words offer a sizzle to the nation's political temperature.  What has been will always be, and as one man says "Somethings are better, somethings are worse, somethings never change."  You can watch the entirety of the film via YouTube, and whether you're craving the cool of The Bar Kays or the wisdom of Richard Pryor, you owe it to yourself to give Wattstax a spin.  At the very least, this film has sent me down a rabbit hole of funk this week.  I've been blasting my car stereo with Johnnie Taylor, Booker T, and James Brown.  Nothing makes you feel cooler at a stoplight than Stax Records.

The Punisher:  "There is a limit to revenge."  I'll always remember the day I forced my parents to swing by Video Library after school to snatch me a VHS copy of Dolph Punisher.  It was the first Direct-To-Video I was ever aware of, and it was my first lesson in harsh cinematic disappointment.  A good bit of training to prepare me for The Phantom Menace.  Doesn't matter how much you love a character, he can let you down.  Dolph Lundgren's Punisher is not really the man you found in the Marvel Comic.  But as I sit here, a 34 year old fanboy, I have to admit that this film gets more right than Thomas Jane's later incarnation.  Dolph Punisher feels like a genuine broken mind.  He's covered in sweat, dirt, and he lives a drunk hobo's lifestyle down in the sewer.  And this is not the clean, eat pizza off the floor kinda sewer often seen in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  No, this is the type of lair where you spit hate at God while you sit naked in your own excrement.  That's pretty much how I want my Punisher.  A psycho.  A killer.  A big F.U. to the government.  Sure, the Yakuza plot is stupid, dumb, and often dull.  But Dolph Punisher is ugly.  I'll take it.

Nymphomaniac Volumes 1 & 2:  "I don't understand this self hatred."  Four hours.  Ugh.  Stellan Skarsgard discovers a beaten-to-a-pulp Charlotte Gainsbourg on his way home from the groceries, and offers her solace in his barren apartment.  There she recounts her life story as a sex addict, a self-loathing but proud Nymphomaniac.  The film really just feels like an excuse for director Lars Von Trier to explore his jollies.  Sadomasochism.  Gang bangs.  Pedophilia.  Udo Kier.  Every kind of sexual degradation. It's all here.  There are moments of humor that had me chuckling.  There are moments of absurdity that had me chuckling.  Mostly though, I was bored.  I keep going back to Von Trier because critics drop his films on Top Tens, and I feel the need to be a part of the conversation.  But outside of some interesting visual trickery, the guy is just not my kind of filmmaker.  Still, I didn't hate this in the same way I did Melancholia.  I just won't ever watch it again.

The Punisher:  Cribbing a few details from Garth Ennis & Steve Dillons's comic, the 2004 version of Marvel's Death Wisher offers a few rays of light, but stumbles into idiocy thanks to some shoddy direction and abysmal acting.  Thomas Jane sure looks the part, but this too-long origin story gives too much sympathy to the character, and attempts to drape a cape over a vigilante rather than portraying a real mental monster.  I understand the temptation.  Marvel Comics = super heroes right?  Not always.  There should be nothing heroic about Frank Castle.  He's a murderer.  He just kills "bad guys."  It's a fine line the comics haven't always understood, but it's weird to me that they chose to snatch from Ennis who so obviously understood Castle's demented desires.  And John Travolta???  Dear god no.  That pipe.  That hair.  That smile.  Chew, chew, chew sir - ya suck.  I do love the brawl with The Russian.  Too bad director Jonathan Hensleigh intercuts it with apartment baffoonery.  Head shake, this Punisher is best left forgotten.

Punisher - War Zone:  "Sometimes I'd like to get my hands on God."  This third try up to bat embraces the exploitation roots of the character, and delivers a violent Lionsgate Horror Show that erupts into a kill crazy crowd pleaser.  Former stuntwoman turned director Lexi Alexander cares little for plot or character development, and simply revels in the violence of Frank Castle's lifestyle.  This is probably the best version of the character we're ever going to get on the silver screen.  Ray Stevenson is a brute.  A man with a hole in his heart, impossible to fill with vengeance, but he'll kill & probably die trying.  Dominic West is LAAAARGER THAN LIFE as mob goon turned super villain Jigsaw, but Doug Hutchinson's little brother is even more fun as he chews through scenery and corpses alike.  Gore Guts Galore.  Heads are chopped, throats are slit, parkour wannabes go BOOM!  Certainly not for everybody, but that's always going to be The Punisher's problem.

Mothra:  "There's no need to fight on a scientific expedition."  A few years after Gojira stomped his way through Tokyo, a scientific expedition crashes on a Lost World and discovers a tribe of giant moth worshipping savages...as well as a couple of teeny tiny sing songy ladies.  A riff on King Kong, Mothra is a perfectly weird trip into Kaiju Kraaazy.  How do you even conceive of this stuff?  A couple of Lilliputians get tired of the showbiz lifestyle and use the power of music to call down a giant moth to typhoon destruction until a smug businessman cries uncle.  WTF Goofy.  I love it.

Mothra vs Godzilla:  When a giant egg washes ashore, and after an evil businessman (those guys again!) lays claim on this obvious moneymaker, those teeny tiny sing songy ladies show up to warn our world of Mothra's rage.  Meanwhile, everyone's favorite mutant dinosaur (is that what he is? I'm still not sure, Godzilla is just Godzilla, right?) emerges from underneath the beach to wreak havoc. The good scientists & reporters of Japan work together to convince the sing songy ladies to pit Mothra against Godzilla and save the world another Kaiju headache.  Their plan more or less works out.  A fun entry in the Godzilla saga, but not nearly as werid as the original Mothra or as fun as some of the other Godzillas we watched Wednesday.

Invasion of Astro-Monster:  Until this movie, I had no idea that the Godzilla series even dealt with outer space, or at least alien civilizations.  Fuji & Glen, a couple of friendly astronauts travel to Planet X and discover a race of man living in fear of the three headed monster, Ghidorah.  A plan is hatched between the two worlds to transport Earth's troubles, aka Godzilla & Rodan, to Planet X where the three monsters will undoubtably fight it out to the death.  Ah, but you should never trust a Planet with an X.  So far, with the exception of the original, this is probably my favorite of the Godzillas I've experienced. I love the introduction of bonkers 60s sci-fi with all those silver space suits and zappy ray guns.

Godzilla vs Megalon:  "If you're so damn clever, why steal our robot?"  If Astro-Monster is my favorite, than Megalon is certainly the most ridiculously cheery.  I had caught bits and pieces of this before from its MST3K ribbing, but frankly, this film does not need commentary to add to its wonderful comic absurdity.  The Undersea Kingdom of Seatopia is fed up with those dwelling above them, and they decide invasion is the only path to happiness.  Seatopia unleashes Megalon onto the poor folks of Japan.  Thankfully a couple of scientists and their kid sidekick have concocted a badass robot called Jet Jaguar, and this Ultraman knockoff is ready for a showdown.  And of course, Godzilla is now living peacefully on Monster Island and is always ready to help out the good people.  And then Gigan shows up to the party.  There is a whole lot of mondo plot going on in this film, and I could barely keep up with all the whacky and hilarious destruction.  Godzilla vs Megalon is simply a joy to watch.  Just what you expect and want from a Kaiju film.

Terror of Mechagodzilla:  "Even if you're a cyborg, I love you!"  Apparently this picks up immediately after Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla, but since that film seems impossible to find at the moment, I just had to go with it...not too hard really...while attempting to salvage the wreckage of Mechagodzilla, a Japanese submarine is assaulted by a Kaiju called Titanasaurus.  This beasty is apparently controlled by an evil scientist named Shinzo Mafune.  The mad doc is determined to destroy man with the help of not just his robot daughter, but the alien simians responsible for the construction of Mechagodzilla.  Thankfully man has the OG on his side, Godzilla comes to the rescue handing both baddies their rubber asses.  Fun, but maybe not as much as Megalon or as weird as Astro-Monster.

The Grand Budapest Hotel:  I keep looking at my Top Ten List from last year.  If The Grand Budapest Hotel had come out a few months earlier, would it have taken down Only God Forgives as my favorite? Hmmmm...hard to say.  I could just be riding high off this very fresh feeling of Movie Joy.  Ralph Fiennes is certainly the star of the show, and 90% of my Budapest love is due to his obscene gentlemen, but the emotional beats are won from F Murray Abraham's brief screentime.  His eyes.  They pierce, but in a very soft way.  Willem Dafoe's werewolf monster killer - jesus - Wes Anderson proves he can be scary as much as whimsical.  The Grand Budapest Hotel is all over the map, but in a very, very, very good way.  I see myself hitting the theater at least one more time for another rewatch.

Sabotage:  To quote Roger Ebert, I hated, hated, hated this movie.  Was The Last Stand more uninspired?  Sure.  Was Escape Plan more dull?  Absolutely.  But Arnold Schwarznegger's Sabotage is just straight up terrible storytelling.  Is Mr Universe to blame?  No.  I actually appreciate the attempt at something different here.  This is the kind of dark role Arnie should be doing.  But writer/director David Ayer must be stopped.  His constant abuse of law enforcement is more than just tiring, it's gross and hateful.  His obvious reliance on improvised tough guy acting is laughable.  Hey Sam Worthington, Terrence Howard, Mireille Enos - SHUT UP!  You guys are not badasses.  You're lame wannabes, and your performances are as about as strong as hide & seek during recess.  The film does not get interesting until the last five minutes, when Arnold ventures down into Mexico for some cowboy revenge.  Ditch the tough act, start the film there, and maybe, just maybe you'd have a fun movie.  Probably not though, as Ayer attempts to squeeze blood from an orange - fails every time.

Red Sonja:  Wow.  This movie is bad.  As a kid I watched it a lot.  When I was tired of Conan The Barbarian, and I couldn't suffer Conan The Destroyer, I watched Red Sonja.  I can't do it anymore.  This film is just too, too bad.  Not even in that fun, enjoyably crappy kinda way.  After the shite of Sabotage, I was craving an Arnie from a better era, and since Red Sonja is technically the second big screen Marvel Comics adaptation (she first appeared in Marvel's Conan the Barbarian #23) it seemed like the appropriate pick.  I was wrong.  It did nothing for me.  A head shake here, an eye roll there.  Brigitte Nielsen may have the sexiest she-mullet around, but her acting chops are about as strong as wood - AND! that's saying something since she's standing next to Arnold's lackluster Conan thievery.  Nostalgia lost this round.

Captain America Lives! by Ed Brubaker & Various:  After Steve Rogers is assassinated on the courthouse steps (thanks to the event's of Mark Millar's Civil War), James Barnes, Nick Fury, Sharon Carter, Tony Stark, and Sam Wilson race to catch the man responsible...of course, it all leads back to The Red Skull.  Brubaker weaves a complicated perfectly comic booky plot involving time travel, mind control, and cold war secrecy.  In the absence of Steve Rogers, Fury & Stark manipulate Barnes to take up the shield and I'm still thinking that Bucky Cap might simply be my favorite star-spangled asskicker.  His adventures with the Shield not only pit him against Rogers's greatest enemies, but also the dark mirror of the crazed 1950s Captain America Clone.  All very silly stuff on four color paper, but Brubaker makes it all work.  There's as much character development as plot, and when the inevitable road to Reborn starts, you're actually dreading the retcon.  When I first read the Reborn event in singles, I pretty much hated it, but on this readthrough, I found myself incredibly engaged with the literal Man Out Of (or Stuck In) Time story.  Bryan Hitch's art is obviously glorious with its widescreen action, and sock-knocking splash pages.  Dr Faustus, Arnim Zola, Crossbones, and Sin - Daughter of Red Skull.  These are some pretty silly shenanigans, but Captain America is never more badass when he's in the hands of Ed Brubaker.  Absolutely Essential Comic Book Reading.

The Avengers:  To quote myself, I love, love, love this movie.  From the "I'm Always Angry" to Cap's reflection of Iron Man's repulsors, to "There's Only One God And He Doesn't Dress Like That," and Thanos's courting of death.  Joss Whedon and Team Marvel get everything right about their Justice League.  And I'm sure all you out there are tired of us fanboys praising the miracle of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  I'm sorry to all you non-believers, but we're just over-the-moon in love with The Avengers.  We've suffered decades of Made for TVs, Direct-to-Videos, and bonehead adaptations.  Now is our time.  We're gonna be jerks about it.  Phase One is complete.  Seems like the world is Marvel's Oyster, but have they fully utilized it with Iron Man 3 & Thor 2?  I'll be rewatching those very soon, and I dig em, I really do, but Guardians of the Galaxy seems like it's going to be the real test for fanboy love.  Will everyone show up for the talking raccoon?  Are they ready for Ant-Man?  Time will tell.  I'm loving what they've accomplished so far, and I have faith.

--Brad

New Release Tuesday!!! (8/27/13)

The day has finally arrived.  Forget all this Affleck/Batman folderol.  I Come In Peace is now available thanks to the good folks over at Shout Factory.  They are truly doing the Lord's work, taking our troubled minds off the Gotham City blues.  Life is good again.  Plus, a whole batch of new & old classics.  Q!!!!!!!

MUST BUY DVD OF THE WEEK!

Dark Angel:  In 1990 I was riding high from a string of spectacular Dolph Lundgren appearances.  Obviously, my life was forever altered by Rocky IV ("I Must Break You"), and that titanic Russian (uh-hum, Swede) made hay while the sun shined with such VHS bottom feeders like Masters of the Universe, Red Scorpion, and The Punisher.  However, the piece de resistance was the whackjob buddy cop sci-fi actioner I Come In Peace aka Dark Angel.  An evil drug dealing alien lands in Houston, Texas to harvest humans of a deadly intergalactic narcotic.  This white mullet demon takes down a space cop hot in pursuit and it's up to Dolph Lundgren's no-nonsense detective to save the human race.  Of course, he's gonna need the help of Brian Benben's by-the-book G-Man if we want a snowball's chance of surviving this Reagan-ocalypse.  I actually watched this a couple months back on VOD, and it's certainly not as brilliant as my pre-teen brain once made it, but at the same time, I Come In Peace is too damn weird not to own.

BUY!

Pain & Gain:  Certainly one of the few films released this year I'm comfortable claiming to be a favorite, but that very fact kinda boggles the brain.  I've always enjoyed Michael Bay's blunt mixture of polish and crude adolescence.  Bad Boys II, The Rock, Transformers - I'll go down defending those flicks, and dammit if Pain & Gain isn't his masterpiece.  His pornographer's eye and dimwit humor fit perfectly with this Darwin Award winning crime caper.  Too bad it's all based on some really heinous evil, as this true story makeover can leave a bad taste in your mouth if you let it.  The trick is to ignore the "Based On True Events" sticker.  The Rock's psychotic Jesus freak goes a long way in making that happen.

To Be Or Not To Be:  Like so many Criterion releases, I've never seen this one but I most certainly want to get acquainted.  Shakespeare vs. The Nazis and all done for laughs!  Yes, please.  But don't take my world for it, just listen to Joe Dante's Trailers From Hell.

Q - The Winged Serpent:  An absolute staple of the Gullickson household, and a movie that is guaranteed to transform any child into a Movie Monster Maniac.  David Carradine, Michael Moriarty, and Richard Roundtree team-up to take down a real-deal dragon terrorizing the skies of New York City.  It's absurd how this winged beast hides from the authorities for the first 2/3rds of the movie, but once the screenplay gives the beast free reign of the skyline, the movie nails all the proper B-Movie requirements.  It's been too long since I've taken Q for a spin and I look forward to consuming it in rich, grimy high definition.

RENT!

Pawn Shop Chronicles:  I really do love Wayne Kramer's Running Scared.  The Cooler is great too, but Running Scared is a special brand of crazy not often replicated in the cinematic universe.  After the director stumbled with the boring art house realism of Crossing Over, he returned to an absurdist landscape that reaches for broad comedy rather than settling on the just plain odd.  I caught this just after Comic Con, and all I can say is.....whaaaaaa?  Pawn Shop Chronicles is nearly an anthology film centered around Vincent D'Onofrio's store and the varied customers that pass through.  Paul Walker is a redneck dimwit attempting to overthrow Norman Reedus' meth kingdom.  Matt Dillon is a husband in search of his wife's killer (played possibly by the Sin City creepy Elijah Wood).  Brendan Fraser is a KKK inspired Elvis impersonator who encounters Satan himself at the crossroads.  And Thomas Jane might be Jesus.  Sure, it's kooky, but is it good?  I don't think so.  If you had a problem with the tonal shifts of Pain & Gain than you'll absolutely loose your mind with rage here.  But I certainly had fun gawking at the train wreck.

AVOID!

The Great Gatsby:  I think if Baz Luhrmann had just made his uproarious 20s flapper movie than I would have absolutely loved it, but his aesthetic just never jived with the source material.  I hear what you're saying, but Brad you should not be so beholden to an American Classic and there is always room for interpretation.  Ha!  Show's what you know, I don't give a hoot about the AP English snoozefest.  I just think that Fitzgerald's plot gets in the way of Luhrmann's style, and there was probably a pretty rocking music video at the center of this drab endeavor.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (2/10/13-2/16/13)

Early in the week I got a sweet care package from the good folks over at the Warner Archive containing a handful of Jim Brown not-so-classics (Tick Tick Tick, Kenner, The Split, & The Slams) and the plan was to pound through them for Black History Month.  But my movie marathon has just not taken shape.  I consumed two of 'em and watched a couple other flicks, but this week was mostly about comic books.  The pleasure of the week had to be the third issue of Hellboy in Hell - the return of Mignola has proven to be grand indeed.  And the turd of the week goes to The Walking Dead's mid season return - what a stinker!

The Walking Dead - "The Suicide King":  This show has been defined by its peaks and valleys, and the final product tends to infuriate more often than it exhilarates.  Personal Beef #1:  After a rather intense cliffhanger conclusion (two months ago!) in which Merle & Daryl are forced into pit fighter combat, Rick & the gang suddenly appear and immediately free them from their death match.  Beef #2:  The faceless inhabitants of Woodbury loose their hateful, cagefight loving minds and inexplicably choose an inevitable demise in a zombie horde than chillax in the temporarily invaded compound.  And the guards don't want them to leave!?!?!  F that.  I say let this Marvel comics mob with their wishy washy dullard brains jump merrily into the rotting mouths of the undead, and be done with their simple asses.  Beef #3:  The last five minutes.  I won't spoil the absurdity here, but to say that it weakens Rick's character is an understatement that just doesn't fully capture my colossal annoyance.  It's a god damn travesty.  And where can this horrendous turn of events lead?  Nowhere good, I think.  My hope for this show is dwindling.  Especially when I have the brilliance of the source material right there on the shelf in front of me.

Tick...Tick...Tick...:  "If you're gonna kill me go ahead and get it over with, I'm just sorry it's not a man doin it." Jim Brown is the newly elected Sheriff of a rural southern town, the first black man to ever hold the position. Matching the righteous tone of the picture is an overbearing & extremely dated theme song that bonks you over the head every time something potentially heinous might occur. Jim Brown walks into a honky tonk - Theme Song! Jim Brown arrests a white man - Theme Song! Jim Brown faces off an angry mob - Theme Song! It's a bit much. And the film really doesn't feel like Jim Brown's movie the way it should. His Sheriff is so concerned with walking the line that he can't bear to break into violence. He's reserved. He's quiet. He does the right thing. I don't want that. George Kennedy, as his predecessor, is the brute of the film. He's allowed to show rage. And once he sides with Brown cuz "the law is the law" he gets to unleash some serious police brutality, barking and bashing on the racist assholes of the community. Tick...Tick...Tick is a solid enough film surrounding the powder keg of the human rights movement, but somehow a trashier B Movie flick like Roger Corman's The Intruder feels more honest. Tick...Tick...Tick is a message movie, and as is, it feels a little bit like a lie.

The Sour Lemon Score by Richard Stark:  After the lighthearted impracticality of The Black Ice Score, this twelfth Parker novel is a return to angry form for the series.  After a bank heist goes wrong and Parker's friends lie dead on the ground, our favorite professional thief trolls the East Coast hunting for George Uhl, the man who betrayed the score with the pull of a trigger.  But like most Parker novels, the man who seems the most problematic is not the real threat - enter psycho thug Matt Rosenstein.  With the introduction of his lady Claire, and some rather frivolous entries, it's nice to see Stark return to the unpleasant darkness of Parker's world and even more enjoyable to read the rage masked by Parker's professionalism.  This is the grit where Parker belongs.  Swift.  Logical.  Brutal.  And somewhat sad.  The Sour Lemon Score doesn't rank as high as The Hunter or The Outfit, but it does belong somewhere near the top of the middle.  I'm really looking forward to the next round of novels - I hear the build to Butcher's Moon is violent and severe.

All New X-Men #7:  The Young Cyclops wanders into the bank where The Old Cyclops stashes his cash and discoveries a sad note from the past...I mean, his future.  I freaking love this book.  Writer Brian Michael Bendis is taking what could potentially be a silly plot and rocking the time travel concept for all its worth; reminding this reader of the X-Men's self-righteous history while elevating the melodrama.  Plus, Wolverine's frustrated contempt towards young Cyke is hilarious and kinda heartwarming.  I don't like to see Mysteque setting her claws into the young X-Man and I really don't want him to become the dark figure that this seres will undoubtedly produce.

Iron Man #6:  Yes, I'm still reading this miserable book.  I guess I'm curious to see how Gillen takes ol' Shellhead to outer space and the internet banter surrounding Tony Stark's secret origin seems exciting enough.  But the sixth issue is just garbage.  Stark discovers a purple alien lady, and taking inspiration from Captain Kirk attempts to bed her.  Unfortunately, Stark sports a mustache and the purple woman vomits upon its discovery.  Uh huh, this is the type of wit we're forced to face month in and month out with this sophomoric nonsense.  There is some blather about the Phoenix Force, but I just can't get past the 'stache puker comedy.  Last month I said I wouldn't buy this issue and I make that promise again this week...but you know me, I'm gonna fold again.  I just really want to enjoy an Iron Man book.  Same could be said for Captain America.

Daredevil - End of Days #5:  Ben Urich has a chat with The Punisher while he rots behind bars, but as Ed Brubaker proved in his Bendis followup, Frank Castle is just as deadly in handcuffs as he is out of  them.  This issue also posits the resurrection of Matt Murdoch, in body and spandex.  Still, it does feel like it's meandering a bit, and I'm starting to get the sense that it can't possibly put a button on Bendis' epic run.  Which is a bummer - for this return to ultimately prove perfunctory would somewhat sully a perfect run of Daredevil comics.

Thunderbolts #4:  As I feared, this issue takes a bit of the punch from last issue's killer final page, but I'm still enjoying General Ross' assault on Katya Jaya.  And like with the book above, Frank Castle is the all star.  Super Heroes have nothing on a man willing to strap a land mine to his chest and play bear hug.  And Deadpool gets to enjoy his giggles.  What I'm really looking forward to is an Elektra/Punisher team-up - or will it just be a straight up killfest?

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #20:  Miles Morales faces off against his first true Spider-Man villain when the Venom symbiote shows up on his doorstep looking to consume Miles' father for a case of mistaken identity.  Is it Eddie Brock under the goo?  Is Venom just out for Spidey blood or is there a deeper purpose?  Not sure yet, but I'm looking forward to some super hero smackdown and I've got my fingers crossed that Jessica Drew is gonna appear for some much needed backup.

Winter Soldier #15:  After Ed Brubaker's disappointing exit, writer Jason Latour picks up the reins and delivers a merry little book.  Not much time is spent on the Black Widow memory wipe fallout (that seems to be happening a lot right now in the Marvel universe) as Bucky jumps right into another evil Hydra plot (there seems to be a lot of those too).  But where the narrative feels a little too familiar, the tone of the adventure is frothy fun and that is definitely refreshing.  Artist Nic Klein has a punchy pulp style and I love his half split Hydra goons sprouting Lovecraftian tentacles.  And who does't love a POV shot as Night of the Hunter brass knuckles come flying at you?  Still waiting to see if the story actually captivates, but it's a fun book and that's something Brubaker's Cap stories weren't...at least in the last two out of his eight year run.  I hate to write that - I'm team Brubaker - but it's bloody true.

Hellboy in Hell #3:  I read a lot of Mike Mignola interviews building up to the release of last year's Hellboy in Hell.  In most of them he stated how he was currently interested in telling short, little stories set in the underworld.  And he also stated that the first three issues of Hellboy in Hell would put the final button on Hellboy's Beast of the Apocalypse problem.  I just could not believe that.  For twenty years, Hellboy has been struggling to shed his apocalyptic crown - how could three simple issues wrap up all that brooding angst?  Well, damn.  Mignola has done just that.  Hellboy's certainly not free and clear from his doom & gloom and he's still stuck down under, but it does appear that the 666 mantel has been shed.  And it's all done in a logical and satisfying manner.  I'm shocked and stoked.  Plus, this issue also sees the introduction of HB's siblings, a look at his father's present state, Leviathan, and the Prince of Darkness himself.  Easily one of my most favorite single issues from the series.

Kenner:  Jim Brown plays an American sailor searching the Karma confused streets of Bombay for the man who murdered his partner.  As he bumps into some awkwardly Westernized interpretations of hinduism he also stumbles upon a young boy searching for his American father.  The two form an antagonistic friendship that's tested even further when the boy's mother inexplicably falls for Jim Brown.  I wish I could report a lost classic, but Kenner is dullsville at best and painfully boring at worst.  I will say that there is one surprising twist that got me to sit up and take notice, but by the time the train barrels through the screenplay it's far too late for me to care about a surprise death.

Skyfall:  The blu ray is truly stunning, and I stand by my previous statements that this is the most beautiful looking James Bond film to date.  The climactic Straw Dogs siege on the moors, the high rise Shanghai assassination, the hotel room shave - this is movie art ready for the frames on your walls.  And Javier Bardem's teasing psychopath is the most fun we've had with a Bond villain since the days of Sean Connery and Goldfinger.  Sure, the pacing seems a little clunky  as we jump from one interrogation to the next, but I love all the banter, and the homefront assault adds a nice change of p(L)ace for the typically international intrigue.

I Come In Peace (aka Dark Angel):  "Fuck You Space Man!"  I haven't seen this film in nearly twenty years, but thanks to the miracle of On Demand I was able to bask in its bizarro beauty one more time.  Dolph Lundgren is a street wise detective investigating the villainous White Boys gang, and when he's not distracted by his eclectic art collection he's spewing pithy one-liners.  After his partner is executed he's saddled with Brian Benben's spit shined G-Man and the buddy cop pair quickly find themselves involved in an intergalactic drug war...wait, what?  Yeah.  So one giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to harvest drugs from our brains, while another giant mulleted space alien comes to our planet to kick that one's ass.  Yeah, ok.  That's bonkers.  But AWESOME!  I Come In Peace is an incomprehensible mess, but it's also loaded with endless explosions and gratuitous intergalactic murder - can't beat that, right?  Made at the tail end of the 1980s, the film desperately wants to ape some of that Walter Hill 48 Hours charisma and in their own way Benben & Lundgren succeed through sheer oddity.

Justified - "Foot Chase":  So far, this episode is one of the season's highlights.  In attempt to beat Walton Goggins to the punch - the punch being the footless Gerald McRaney (another Deadwood alum as well as the better half of Simon & Simon) - Timothy Olyphant and Jim Beaver have themselves a federal/local law team-up.  Olyphant's not sure he can trust Beaver given his seedy history with Goggins, but the two eventually form a jabbing repartee that brought great smiles to this Bullock/Ellsworth fan.  McRaney appears not to be the mysterious Drew Thompson, but I wouldn't count those chickens before they roost and I'm hoping that McRaney still has a large role to play for this season - whether he's one-legged or not.

The Walking Dead - Book One:  Friday night was the 9th meeting of the Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club and we finally convinced enough folks to dive into Robert Kirkman's zombie opus.  I was really looking forward to revisiting this series, especially given my seemingly unsurmountable hatred of the last tv episode, and I'm thinking I'll plow my way through the rest of the big hardcovers.  Taking that into account, I was a little surprised at my lackluster enthusiasm for the first two arcs in this series.  Kirkman doesn't quite have a handle on these characters just yet, and even though all of his comics are bogged down with expository dialogue, this book is practically bursting at the seams with blah blah blah.  For the first story, I was really only moved by the Jim character - the idea that this quiet mechanic has suffered so much and the moment when he unleashes his rage it results in his quiet death.  Very sad.  But where as the television show seems to drone on and on with some of these themes, this first book rushes through them.  Hershel's farm is but a drop in the bucket, just when some serious philosophizing begins the barn doors are opened and the walkers burst out.  I remember falling head over heels with this book during the first trade, but as my memory reworks itself I'm thinking my love truly doesn't set in till they get to the prison.  So on to hardcover number 2.  For the most part, the group enjoyed this book but only a couple folks seemed interested in pursuing further issues.  Curious.  But ya know what?  Invincible is easily the superior saga and no one in the group got that except Matt & myself.

Batman #17:  Scott Snyder's supposedly epic Death of the Family arc comes to a close and I find myself a little disappointed.  That being said, I thought this issue pulled off a lot more drama than I was expecting given my lukewarm response to previous issues, and Greg Capullo's art continues to amaze with its ghastly beauty.  What's under the dinner dome?  The answer is nasty and genuinely surprising...even if five pages later status quo veil is dropped.  But when you compare this tale to other Snyder vehicles like The Court of Owls or The Black Mirror, it really offers nothing new to the Bat mythos.  Joker is a crazy bastard.  Batman won't kill him.  The never ending stalemate continues.  I'm happy Snyder got this character out of his system, and I'm hoping he can move on to some new territory.  More original characters, less sandbox whimsy.

Fatale #13:  "She'd known for a long time there was more than one layer to the sky."  I have yet to be disappointed by Fatale.  Jumping hundreds of years into the past, we get a glimpse at a creature very similar to Josephine and the witchfinder cult so desperate to carve her up.  There are a few clues as to the mystical origin at the center of this noir story, but these clues offer more mindbending questions than answers.  This issue still has that 40s dread, but artist Sean Phillips is really getting his Hammer Horror freak on here and I can perfectly imagine Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee walking around inside these panels.  As much as I enjoyed last month's stand alone issue, #13 is even better.  Cannot wait for The Wild West excursion next month.

Uncanny X-Men #1:  I'm pretty sure that I would have enjoyed this book if not for artist Chris Bachalo.  I've never been a fan; his style seems to be a muddy bastardization of manga and I just can't grasp how his characters bend & wobble all over the page.  Writer Brian Michael Bendis attempts to explore the dirty revolution of this current Cyclops dictator, and the mole revealed on the final page is definitely intriguing.  But Uncanny X-Men lacks the joy of its sister book All New X-Men, and if Bachalo is on  for the long haul than I'm not sure I can handle his squishy interpretation.  As with several other Marvel Now books, I'll give it six months before making my final decision.

Powers - Bureau #1:  Half the time I love Brian Michael Bendis (Ultimate Spider-Man, Daredevil, All New X-Men) and the other half of the time I find him completely and utterly frustrating (New Avengers, Avengers, Mighty Avengers), and Powers is the very personification of this annoyance.  There are books in this series that I find absolutely breathtaking (Supergroup, The Sellouts, Forever) but then there are stories that refuse to continue the earth shattering events of previous books.  Take this new relaunch for example.  In the last book the world seemed to have been completely devastated a la BPRD Hell On Earth, but now we see that it was just a localized event and the federal government is back to the business of enforcing Powers laws.  Just another crime of the week.  Dammit.  Let's get back to Walker's crazy ass Conan The Barbarian past.  Once you hit the Forever arc there should be no turning back, but Bendis seems to refuse forward momentum.  So very frustrating.

Fantastic Four #4:  My favorite issue from Matt Fraction's run so far.  Not as good as FF or Hawkeye, but I appreciated the time shifting structure of this story.  Reed is writing an apology note of sorts to Sue, explaining his POV at the time of their first meeting and how it parallels their current planetary adventure.  He's basically using a lot of words to say he's sorry for hiding their cellular disease.  But I don't think Sue's going to just role over with hugs & kisses.  Fraction seems to be amping up the family melodrama and I'm a sucker for that stuff as much as I am the inter-dimensional science-fiction.  Basically Fraction is showing us what the essential Marvel book looks like and you should all be on board.  Excelsior!

Archer & Armstrong #7:  Another solid issue, but not big shocks or awes.  Archer, Armstrong, and The Eternal Warrior all seem to be on the same side at this point despite some passive aggressive banter and some not so passive death threats.  If I had any complaint at all it would be this new Geomancer character.  She's sassy and kooky and I want none of that.  Hopefully she's just a storytelling device and not a new addition to the team.

Rome - Season 2:  "I have the same sickness."  And you thought the stabbing murder of Julius Caesar was rough?  The second season of Rome kicks off with our two favorite Centurions descending even further down their personal hells and they leave a massive trail of bloody corpses in their wake.  Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen a murder as brutal or hateful as the one found in the second to last episode of this season - now, that is how you choke somebody to death.  Granted the rise & fall of Marc Antony (and that Cleopatra slut) is a little less glamorous than the mighty Caesar's savage execution, but actors Kevin McKidd & Ray Stevenson are a perfect set of badasses to follow, even if they are the most pathetic and deplorable set of friends.  And I'd rank their bromance right up there with Denny Crane & Alan Shore.  That's love, baby.

--Brad