Matt’s Week in Dork! (4/13/14-4/19/14)

    Good times this week.  I’m so happy that this year has already produced several movies that I’d be happy to put on the top ten of my 2014 Dorkies.  Particle Fever, Monuments Men (yeah, I liked it a lot…bite me), Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Grand Budapest Hotel, Tim’s Vermeer, and now Under the Skin.  Six movies I wouldn’t be upset to find on a top ten list (though I’m hoping to see enough more that several of these won’t be).  This has already been a better year than the past two.  Can’t wait to see what’s next.

Under the Skin:  I like science fiction.  I like quiet films that don’t muddy things with too much dialog.  I like weird stuff that puts the viewer on edge.  I like films that don’t shy away from nudity.  And I like visually interesting movies that hold shots for a long time.  Under the Skin fulfills all of that.  I don’t know that I loved the movie, but it certainly tickles my various fancies.  It’s reminiscent of late 60s, early 70s science fiction, the most obvious (though not only) example being The Man Who Fell to Earth.  You’ve got to get your Scottish ears on, as the movie features a lot of Scottish people talking, with full on, nearly unintelligible accents.  And if you’re uncomfortable with nudity, you should probably stay away (or try growing up and not being such a prude).  On a related note, it was nice seeing a woman with a normal body, not some stick figure with plastic bits.  There’s lots of beautiful imagery, including some natural settings, some urban settings, and some very good motorcycle driving footage.  It’s very interesting to see a movie in which none of the dialog is about the plot.  There’s literally zero exposition.  It is presented before you for you to figure out.  Keen.  My one complaint is the ending.  What happens in the woods that leads to the actual final moments of the film seemed weird and somewhat out of place.  Off key from the rest of the film.  Excepting that, I thought it was excellent.

Doctor Who: The Happiness Patrol:  It’s stories like this that make me so sad the last several years of classic Doctor Who weren’t very good.  I enjoy the heck out of this strange story and weird production design.  If other stories from late Colin Baker through its cancellation under Sylvester McCoy had been half as good, the show might have had legs to stand on.

The Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox:  I don’t really get The Flash.  He’s one of those DC champions I never really enjoyed.  But I do like a good alternate world story, and this one is pretty cool.  Something done by the Flash’s old enemy…Professor Zoom…has changed the world to one where heroes and villains took very different courses.  It’s a crazy story, but it’s cool seeing some of the powerful heroes doing what they’d most likely do if not checked by other elements.  Wonder Woman and Aquaman are carving up the world while Batman and Superman have very different lives.  And man, is there anything scarier than the potential of sad, angry, tortured Superman?

    I sat down and fought my way through Uber.  Boy, that’s a disappointing book.  Some very cool ideas, but such terrible execution.

    Tuesday night found Brad and I at the Alamo again, this time to see Purple Rain as a ‘sing-along.’  Now, this was Brad and my first time seeing the film, and it turned out it was a lot of others’ as well.  I don’t know how much singing was going on.  But we were provided glow sticks and tambourines, so no complaints.

Purple Rain:  In a sense, every movie has two ratings/grades.  There’s an objective (sort of) rating.  How ‘good’ is the film?  The acting, the script, the cinematography; were there any boom mics visible; was the editing smooth; etc.?  And then there’s the question of how much you, the viewer, enjoyed watching the movie.  It’s final grade is some synthesis of that, which is why I have movies I know are technically awful listed among my favorites (Cyborg, for example).  Purple Rain is such a crapterpiece.  The script, the acting, and the music were terrible (sorry, the music is bloody awful), but I had an absolute blast watching it all.  Prince, our would be hero, is a terrible person who does one slightly nice thing and all is forgiven.  His parents are totally insane.  His girlfriend is a self-made emotional and physical punching bag.  His friends all stay loyal to him, even though he doesn’t show one single ounce of friendship or loyalty to them.  And by the end of the film, he hasn’t really learned anything or grown as a human being.  He’s still a piece of crap, and it’s pretty clear he’s going to remain one.  And Prince is soooooooooo awful.  I can’t say he’s wooden, because at least a piece of wood has a chance to have some character.  He’s so stiff, so awkward…It’s impressive.  Also, through the whole movie (including her disgusting song Sex Shooter), it seemed like Apollonia was written to be a man, but the studio wasn’t willing to make a gay romance movie.  It would have made a lot more sense, as at no point did I suspect Prince had any interest in women.  And not just because he treats Apollonia like a frat-boy treats a nerd.  Then there’s the moment when he hauls off and decks her, because she said something he didn’t like.  At that point, the point where a character who was horrible to begin with now adds ‘woman puncher’ to his list of traits, I wanted to watch him utterly fail.  Of course, it was the 80s, people unfathomably loved Prince, and he was supposed to be the film’s hero, so he wins.  But he shouldn’t have.  The movie should have ended with him actually hanging himself, like in his vision.  Roll credits.  Still, though technically and morally awful, watching this madness was a heck of a lot of fun.

     I also managed to watch a few episodes of the BBC series Atlantis.  It's not very good.  And it should be called Minos, as that's really where it takes place, thought they keep calling it Atlantis.  I like that they're going for it with the mythology; I just wish the show was good.

Frozen:  This film’s heart is in the right place.  Unfortunately, its head isn’t.  The praise it’s received for having proactive female leads is deserved.  However, the story is bland, the music is more bland, and the animation is dull.  And then the snowman shows up.  Ugh.  And the singing.  The singing.  It doesn’t stop, and it’s not good.  So, while putting the focus on the female characters, and not making the men the eventual rescuers, gets a tip of the hat, next time, cut the pop songs, cut the awful comic relief, and cut the crap.  Just tell a good story, and we’ll watch it.  Brave, and now this.  It’s like Disney is really trying, but they just can’t get it right.

Sparks:  I respect what this film was reaching for, but at the end of the day, it’s just not that good.  It feels like an attempt to capture some of the spirit of Watchmen and some of the spirit of Kick-Ass, with some of the tools of (the film versions of) Sin City and The Spirit.  The story is one of those onion-types where each layer is a revelation that some previously established or believed fact is actually wrong.  With each layer, you find that heroes are villains, friends are enemies, up is down, jelly is better than syrup, mass hysteria.  Several of the twists were actually pretty obvious.  Still, it has its charm and low budget can-do sensibilities.  And it’s kind of neat to see that we’ve reached the point where they’re making (for all intents and purposes) straight to video superhero films.  I’d sooner watch a dozen films like this than another found footage/Haunting in X New England Town films, that’s for sure.

    I watched a bunch of Ultraman episodes.  The show is a lot of fun, and has occasional dashes of the stuff I love in Kaiju films.  But it is pretty darned cheesy.  Part of the show’s problem is that when there is a really cool idea, they’ve only got twenty-five minutes to explore it, which isn’t enough.

    On Friday night and Saturday, I found myself in need of some social hibernation.  I’ve been very busy for a while, and I’ve been going out a lot.  It’s been a lot of fun, but I started to realize I wasn’t getting the usual down time I need as an introvert.  Even walking to the post office on Saturday found me listening to music, hunching my shoulders, and keeping my eyes on the ground.  It was weird.  But I’m feeling better now.  But because of it, I ended up not making it to the graphic novel club meeting.  This month’s selection was volume 1 & 2 of Sweet Tooth, which I thought was kind of a half-assed Y: The Last Man.

Laura:  The film begins in the aftermath of the murder of a beautiful young woman.  A cop begins to piece together the life of the dead woman, feeling out various suspects.  The characters are all interesting and strange, letting the various actors really bite into the parts, cranking up the eccentricities.  Interestingly, though I saw this movie some time ago, and I’m about as taken with Gene Tierney as all the men in this film, this wasn’t the movie that captured me.  That was Leave Her to Heaven.  Still, seeing it again, I understand why this was the movie for so many.  She’s gorgeous, obviously, but she’s got that elusive something that makes her more than her pretty face.  Dana Andrews is a bit drab in the film, but that seems to accentuate the uniqueness of the others, to let them all stand out against his gray.  Good twists and turns.  This is a must watch, for sure.

    As Laura wrapped up, I realized TCM was showing three Gene Tierney & Dana Andrews films, so I hung around and stayed up past my old-man bed time to watch them.  I had seen Where the Sidewalk Ends many years ago, and never even heard of The Iron Curtain.

Where the Sidewalk Ends:  “Where the devil am I?  I keep coming and going.”  Dana Andrews and Gene Tierney again, in an Otto Preminger film.  Andrews has a lot more to do in this film than in Laura.  Tierney’s role is fairly thankless, but she’s perfectly good in her part.  It’s more on the hard boiled side of Noir, with a brutal cop getting into some trouble with some crooks, and creating a lot of his own problems by not coming clean when he’s got the chance.  Honesty is the best policy.  Of course, things get way, way out of hand.  A lot of good character actor performances in this one.

The Iron Curtain:  Gene Tierney and Dana Andrews team up in another film, this time portraying Soviets assigned to Canada during the frigid seasons of the Cold War.  This is one of those semi-documentary type films that were oddly popular for a while.  Frequently, the narrator jumps in to recite facts and keep the narrative moving.  I really enjoy Dana Andrews in this.  The ending is a bit unsatisfactory, and I think, due to that ‘documentary’ voiceover, it doesn’t age well.  Still, a good time capsule of the early days of the Cold War.

    I’ve got to get more serious about reading.  I’m into too many books right now, and have too many more I’m hungry to read.  One of these days, I’ll have to sit down and do another graphic novel reading day, maybe crank through the B.P.R.D. 1940s books Brad loaned me.

-Matt

Another Fistful of Marvel Wannabes! (Matt’s Picks)

    So, it’s been another year and Marvel/Disney keeps amping things up.  The second Captain America just came out.  Guardians of the Galaxy appears to be a real thing that is happening.  I’ve seen the trailer.  I don’t think it’s a hoax.  They keep saying Ant-Man is really happening.  And now I’m hearing a lot of rumor around Dr. Strange (come on, Mads Mikkelsen!) and a Black Widow spin-off.  Madness.  There’s also talk of a post WWII series about Agent Carter, which I think could be great (along with several NetFlix series that are supposed to build up to The Defenders…crazy).  A year on, and I wanted to return to my hopes for Marvel films of the future.  Especially with talk of their cinematic universe being mapped out to 2028 or some such.  Here are some more of the Marvel characters I want to see them get serious about.  If they can do Guardians of the Galaxy, they can do anything.  And yes, I would absolutely pay money to see a Squirrel Girl movie.

5.  Misty Knight & Colleen Wing, The Daughters of the Dragon:  This pair of martial arts wielding detectives could be a great deal of fun to watch.  My inclination would be to set this in the 1970s, but realistically I’m sure it would have to play more contemporary.  Perhaps this could link in to the proposed NetFlix series centered around the Defenders.  It seems more ‘ground level,’ less over the top super-power action.

4.  Nova:  It looks like the Nova Corps is going to be showing up in Guardians of the Galaxy, which I’m cool with.  They’re basically like the Green Lantern Corps, except that DC/WB managed to screw that up royally like they do with everything other than Batman.  So, here’s hoping Guardians gets a cosmic spin-off.  This is the side of the Marvel Universe I most want to see explored.  Let’s see Asgardians and Kree fighting, Nova Corps keeping the peace, and a Herald of Galactus (how about Nova?).  See also; The Space Knights.

3.  MODOK:  Not just because he was born in my home town, I think MODOK needs a movie.  This is in part because I like A.I.M., and think they should show up in the films, and because the Marvel movies need a couple big, long term villains.  Hydra might be settling in to be one, but they need more recurring villains, and MODOK could be a really good fit.

2.  Captain Marvel (either Monica Rambeau or Carol Danvers):  A running theme in discussion of comic book movies is DC’s inability to pull its head out of its own butt.  And one of the primary sources of this anatomical difficulty is their handling of women generally, and Wonder Woman specifically.  There have been several people to take the title of Captain Marvel, but Rambeau and Danvers seem the most likely choices.  I personally lean toward Rambeau.  Captain Marvel could be the Wonder Woman movie DC can't figure out how to make.

1.  Beta Ray Bill:  A monster of science, designed to save a civilization, Beta Ray Bill and Thor butt heads, only to become brothers in arms.  Beta Ray even models his costume on the Asgardian, and at one point proved himself worthy of wielding Thor’s Hammer.

    There are, of course, countless other characters I’d love to see, story arcs that could be adapted.  How about a variation of Marvels?  Film right issues would mean several of that time spanning story’s events would have to be altered, but it could make for a powerful film if done right.  What do they have planned?  I don’t know.  But the future of Marvel movies is bright.  Very bright.

Don't get a waif to play She-Hulk.

--Matt

Another Open Letter to the Makers of the New Star Wars Films

Once again, to the Powers That Be at Disney,

    About a year ago, I wrote a letter to you folks, and I never heard back.  Since you’re a large corporation, I’m just a guy who writes for a blog you almost certainly have never heard of, and I posted it here as opposed to sending it directly to you, your silence is understandable.  However, more stirrings about the new films, and some general thinking about the state of science fiction and Dork culture has prompted me to try again.  No, I won’t be going on at length about how you should return Star Wars to its roots of pulp science fiction and movie serial fun (though that is a good idea).  This time, I want to address female trouble.

    An article I read a while back got me to thinking about Princess Leia and her place in the original trilogy.  Obviously, she was cute, she was a princess, and she needed to be rescued.  Oh, wait.  She was cute and she was a princess.  But her rescue was secondary (almost accidental), and frankly, once they opened her cell door, she was the one who got everyone out of danger.  In fact, if you look at the series, and look at what she does, she’s kind of the most badass person in the whole thing, and the major driving force behind the toppling of the Empire.  Luke was just a brash kid with some magic tricks.  Han, a bumbling con-man.  Leia was the brains and balls behind the fight.  She’s actually the hero of the trilogy.  Yes, Luke goes through the classic ‘Hero’s Journey.’  But Leia was already there, several steps ahead.  She stood face to face with Vader and Tarkin and didn’t blink.  She was tortured and didn’t break.  She was a leader of the Rebellion.  She sacrificed everything for the cause, and put her life on the line countless times.  Heck, when her rescue of Han didn’t go off quite right and she ended up in that teeny-tiny brass-bikini, she took a chain, strangled a galactic crime boss and then hopped on a blaster turret and started lighting up the place.  Nobody came and got her.  She did that.  She killed Jabba the Hutt with a chain!  And then blew a bunch of stuff up!  Han's stumbling around blind and Luke is doing back flips, while Leia is making it rain (by rain I mean parts of ships and goons).

If I were in her shoes, it'd be brown trousers time.

    So, what I’m getting at is this: in your search for a new star, a hero for a new generation of Star Wars fans, don’t be stupid.  Don’t be DC Comics.  Don’t ignore half the population.  I’m not saying cast a woman to play the central character.  Heck, I’m not saying you should only have one central character.  But I am saying, don’t not cast a woman as the lead (double negative is intentional).  There are many wonderful young actresses out there today, and there are many, many young women who I’m sure would love to see them performing heroics on screen.  And you know what?  There are a lot of young men who would love that, too.  The idea that boys don’t want to see girl heroes is stupid.  Straight up stupid.  Even going back to my childhood, I looked up to Wilma on Buck Rogers, to Wonder Woman, to Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and later to Chris (Elisabeth Shoe) in Adventures in Babysitting.  But I didn’t look up to Princess Leia, because (though on reflection, she’s a darned powerful character) when I saw Star Wars as a child, she was little more than set-dressing, a pretty object to achieve.  And that’s not what we should be giving our kids.  I’m not advocating the now cliché Joss Whedon-style ‘Waif Who Turns Out to be a Super-Ninja’ characters.  (Frankly, if Milla Jovovich isn’t playing that part, I’m probably not buying it).  But compelling and heroic characters for our excellent actresses to play shouldn’t be too much to ask.

    Might I recommend looking into Lupita Nyong’o, Saoirse Ronan (I've heard rumor she has read for a part), or Olivia Thirlby, among so many.  All fine, up and comers.  All capable of doing more than looking pretty.  And why limit yourself to one?  How about two or three or (gasp!) four compelling female characters.  The Clone Wars animated series featured several women as heroes and villains.  No reason not to do that in the movies, right?  Write good parts, cast well, and we can all be happy.  You’ve got a lot of brand loyalty.  You’ve got a massive fan base, and no small number of those fans are women.  You have the ability to push Star Wars into a better place, to make it more than it has been before.  Please don’t make this into another exercise in pandering to your idea of the interests of 13 year old boys.  You have to know that’s not the only audience you’re working with.  Right?  Look at the success you’ve had with the Marvel movies.  Learn from that.  Be better.  Make me love you again.  I want to.  I really do.  So help me out.  Be better.

Thanks for your time.
-Matthew Constantine, Star Wars fan since the late 70s

Brad's Week in Dork! (2/23/14-3/1/14)

I spent most of this week ticking off the last batch of Oscar Nominees, feverishly anticipating Sunday's Super Bowl.  I was perfectly content with my adequate consumption of the Major Nominees (12 Years A Slave, Gravity, August - Osage County, etc), but after I got wind of my friend Lindsey's plan to burn through ALL nominations, I kicked it up a notch.  Best Picture?  Best Actor?  Forget that.  Let's go crazy with Best Makeup, Sound Mixing, and Original Song!  Knocking out Bad Grampa & All Is Lost first thing, I spent most of the week working through the Animated Feature category.  The Croods, Despicable Me 2, Frozen, The Wind Rises.  Boy.  None of them really interested me during their initial releases, and I wouldn't have bothered if not for The Academy Awards.  Frankly, the only 2013 animated films I cared about were Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2 (TACOZILLA!) and Escape From Planet Earth...yeah...well, you know...Shatner.  The less said about Monsters University, Planes, and the decline of Pixar the better.  Hell, 2014 is already looking brighter thanks to The Lego Movie, but let's cross fingers that How To Train Your Dragon 2 & The Box Trolls deliver this goods this year.

But as much fun as I had hopping back and forth from the Angelika to Landmark's Bethesda Row, my favorite theatrical experience of the week (and the best damn movie I watched) was the Alamo Drafthouse's Tough Guy Cinema screening of Streets of Fire.  Nice to see a crowd show up for Walter Hill's hyper stylized rock & roll fable, and as many times as I've fallen in love with Diane Lane's Ellen Aim, this was the first time I was utterly hypnotized by her opening performance.  Just wow.  One of my regular cinematic rants is how Jessica Alba totally fails as Nancy in Sin City, and watching Lane own that crowd and that camera just absolutely accentuated Alba's Frank Miller failure.  Diane Lane is astonishing in this movie.  So great to see this 80s oddity again, and I really need to track down a high def copy cuz Streets of Fire is a Once-A-Year-Watch for sure.  Easy to see why this is one of Matt's Favorite Films.

Jackass Presents - Bad Grandpa:  Like other Jackassy productions, there are a few cheap laughs to be found here, but how many times can you watch an asshole get kicked in the balls before you've had enough?  Somewhere Bob Saget is screaming, "NEVER!"  I do not like the candid camera format, tricking simpletons into gross-out scenarios is the lowest form of humor.  And I don't care how many dolts get fooled by Johnny Knoxville's latexed face, Bad Grampa has no business earning a Makeup & Hairstyle nomination.  Under the scrutiny of HD cameras, Grampa's mug looks like fat, sweaty putty.  It's not like the Oscars are free from W-T-F acknowledgements, but it hurts a little to see such a base concept receive encouragement.  Am I just a middle aged fuddy duddy?  Maybe.  But I'd rather watch a million subpar South Park episodes than witness Knoxville's stretched-out scrotum.

All Is Lost:  I very much enjoy watching the process of survival.  I love how this film has the confidence to trap its audience on the boat, and reveal character only through the tiniest bits of detail.  It's a great performance experiment, and All Is Lost succeeds with tension in ways that Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity stumbles about in cheap symbolism.  However, as I watched this late at night (or far too early in the morning), I found myself drifting around the halfway mark.  Not locked down in the theater seat, as each attempt at life fails, I lost interest in the hell this Old Man had created for himself. Maybe I do need a Wilson to talk to, or maybe an interior monologue.  Such concepts would certainly weaken the craft on display, but I just never fully engaged with Redford's plight.  Or I could have simply not been in the mood.

The Croods:  This one surprised me a bit.  Quest For Fire, but "For Kids!"  Nicolas Cage certainly works as the chromag dad terrified to venture out beyond his cave.  His voice lends an enthusiasm to his character in ways we haven't seen from him in a long, long time (about three or four Direct-to-DVDs ago).  Continental Drift forces the clan to explore their backyard, and it's a beautiful nightmare of owl-wovles & piranha-birds.  If you're at all familiar with the whacky, nonsensical design of the Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs films then you'll be happily equipped to handle the absurdity on display in the Land of the Lost.  The themes of curiosity & fear are simple, but important to the young audience, and The Croods is easily the most inventive looking film of the Animated Feature nominations.  A classic?  Naw.  But you know...fun for the whole family.

Despicable Me 2:  I do not care about Steve Carrell's Gru or his Good Dad/Bad Guy routine.  His story of romance and world domination holds zero interest.  But those minions?  They are just too cute for words.  I hate myself for loving them so much, but a ten second dream sequence in which one yellow fella falls head over heels for Kristen Wiig is abso-freaking-dorable.  And Isaac Washington Minion!!!  I want that toy now.  The rest of the movie?  Whatever.

Frozen:  This one suffered from the hype machine.  After weeks of friends, family, and co-workers telling me this is the best film Disney has released in ages, I was bound to finish Frozen with a lackluster spirit.  The film is pretty enough.  I dig the sibling love story.  The snowman character isn't even that annoying (shocker!).  But the film felt rushed to me.  Blinked and it was over.  I was disappointed when the real villain revealed himself, and the songs were Broadway light.  I should have seen this opening weekend, but with the world going ga-ga for Adele Dazeem, the contrarian in me wants to champion The Croods or The Wind Rises instead.  Not terrible.  It's on par with Tangled.  Good enough.

The Wind Rises:  "The Dream is Cursed."  I am not a worshiper at the alter of Miyazaki.  I've enjoyed a few of his films in the past (Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away), but I've always felt a little alienated by the anime aesthetic.  Jingoism?  I've always feared that.  I like my cartoons Don Bluth.  Gasping Characters, Big Eyes, and Speed Lines?  No thanks.  American animation certainly has its own batch of annoyances, but my mind has remained shut on Anime & Manga since my 12 year old self first encountered it with Vampire Hunter D.  But I'm trying to grow.  Thanks to books like Gon, Domu, Lone Wolf & Cub, I'm more willing then ever to embrace Japan's greatest export.  Not to mention the sad fact that American Animation refuses to pull itself out of Mother Goose storytelling.  The closest we've come to exploring mature stories in the medium are Pixar's Up & Wes Andreson's Fantastic Mr. Fox.  Utterly pathetic.  The Wind Rises claims to be Miyazaki's farewell film, and I hope he sticks this landing as its a perfect sendoff.  Not the magical fantasy we've come to expect from the filmmaker, this film is a pseudo biography of airplane designer Jiro Horikoshi.  Doing his best to ignore the moral quandary of selling beauty to the military, and witnessing his art transformed into killing machines, Jiro battles apocalyptic nightmares and a doomed romance.  Filled with dread and sadness, I really enjoyed the dreamscape Jiro shares with Italian engineer Caproni; their conversations in regards to the airplanes military destiny contribute the film's greatest narrative meat.  The not-so-rom-com that occurs halfway through never seems fully realized, but there is enough misery there to complement the film's gloomy inevitability.  Not quite enough to make me a believer, as a fan of animation, it's obvious that I have to look outside my borders if I want to experience tales beyond fuzzy animals.

Streets of Fire:  When Ellen Aim (the breathtakingly badass Diane Lane) returns to her hometown for a rock show extravaganza, she's targeted by Willem Dafoe's Black Leather Motorcycle Club.  Kidnapped and dragged into the depths of retro 80s hell, Rick Moranis & Michael Pare assemble a squad of rock & roll weirdos (groupies! motowners! rockabilly bartenders, a lesbian, maybe!) to raid the biker bar and declare sledgehammer warfare.  As ex soldier Tom Cody, Pare delivers his super sincere one-liners with all of his acting might, and follicaly challenged facial hair.  He manages to bounce back & forth from the laughably ridiculous to the totally cool, something that only seems possible in that childhood decade.  The out-of-time reality and skyscraper performances condemn Streets of Fire as a cult favorite, but it's a Kool-Aid I don't mind drinking.  From the uber masculine mind that brought us 48 Hours, Southern Comfort, Extreme Prejudice,  and The Warriors, director Walter Hill was the master of the generational gem.  Streets of Fire is a rootin' tootin' crowd pleaser for stunted youth everywhere.

Rocky IV:  When I came home from The Alamo, I wanted to continue that thrill of 1980s cinema, and in my mind no other movie sums up the Reagan Era better than Sylvester Stallone's bombastic franchise killer.   Follow-up films were bound to fail after Rocky IV crushed communism's super science, resulting in the Berlin Wall's collapse.  Using the power of Montage (30 minutes worth in a 90 minute movie!), Rocky trains faster, harder, and beardier than his Giant Evil Foreign counterpart, avengers the death of Apollo Creed, and secures the love of his family through staged violence.  Plus, Paulie marries a robot!!!  Did the 80s produce better movies?  Raiders of the Lost Ark?  Blade Runner?  Raging Bull?  NOOOO!  It does not get better than "I Must Break You."  Case closed.

Omar:  Why are all "important" films so dang sad?  Watching through this year's nominees it's obvious that The Academy only has room in its heart to mope.  My quest for total Oscar domination brought me face-to-face with a lot of tragedies, and the Foreign Film category practically delivered me into a state of despair.  Omar is the story of a Palestinian revolutionary caught between his freedom fighter responsibilities and the love of a comrade's sister.  But as tensions build and plans result in death, imprisonment, more death, more imprisonment, and more death, I started to see Omar as less of a message movie, and more as a thrilling crime saga staged against the West Bank.  Think Donnie Brasco with the added bonus of systemized hatred.  I didn't leave the theater weepy as I did with Broken Circle Breakdown or The Hunt.  Instead it was a sensation more akin to surviving a James Ellroy novel.  A good time?  Actually...yeah.

The Invisible Woman:  After the boiling violence of Coriolanus, director Ralph Fiennes tackles the burdensome lust of every college professor's favorite novelist.  Having produced a litter of children and grown tired of his wife, the wandering eye of Charles Dickens lands on a supposedly talentless young actress.  They strike up an affair for some reason, causing a stir amongst the London press, and a not-so-secret shame for their family.  The film looks nice.  I suppose it earns its Wardrobe nomination.  Screenwriter Abi Morgan certainly frames the story in an intriguing fashion, and Fiennes pulls fine melodrama from his actors.  But the story left me cold.  I never fully understood the actions of the characters, nor did I ever really care.  The best I can say is that for thirty seconds or so while the film played I contemplated pulling the dusty Dickens off my book shelf.  But the moment passed.

The Book Thief:  I hated this movie.  A Hallmark Holocaust Adventure brought to you by the voice of God and John Williams's token Oscar nomination.  A young girl learns to read while Nazis burn books in the streets and hatred sweeps the nation in the most offensively banal depiction of World War II I have ever experienced.  I think it's all well and good to remember the horrors of the past.  In fact, it's deadly important.  Our society needs films like Schindler's List & 12 Years A Slave every decade or so as a reminder of human nature's horrific capability.  But The Book Thief delivers its message with about as much passion as an after school special.  It feels like a checkmark in a high school history class.  Infuriating.

Anchorman 2 - Supersized R Rated Edition:  Simply fascinating.  The narrative is the same.  Ron Burgundy travels to the big city unleashing the hell of the 24 hour news cycle upon our hapless society.  But half the jokes are different.  Improvised comedy is both wonderful and terrible.  You film one scene thirty different ways with thirty different lines, and suddenly you can cut thirty different films.  Or at least two solidly different films.  But I preferred the original Anchorman 2.  Maybe because it's jokes were better, but probably because it was my first experience with the script.  I still managed to laugh my ass of here, but the Supersized edition fascinated/perplexed me more than anything else.  A great bonus feature, but was it worth the second price of admission?  Still working it out.

--Brad

Matt’s Week in Dork! (2/23/14-3/1/14)

    Some weeks are lazy and restful, others are this one.  I spent much of this week away from the Matt-Pad, and quite frankly, my bed and I need a little quality time together.  But I did get to knock another of my all time favorite films off the ‘to see on the big screen’ list.  I also picked up, but haven't had time to listen to, the new St. Vincent cd.  Maybe next week.

Pompeii:  Brace yourselves.  I know you were expecting greatness.  But sadly, I must report that this movie was, in reality, quite terrible.  In 3D for some reason (it was the only showing we could make it to), the most impressive element of the movie was the writers’ Herculean effort to cram every obvious cliché and awkward turn of phrase imaginable into such a relatively short (but way, way too long) runtime.  A boy’s family is killed by an evil Roman (played by a terrible Kiefer Sutherland).  Of course, he then becomes the ultimate gladiator of Londinium, as we see all  the usual gladiator movie sequences.  Naturally, he attracts the attention of a powerful man, who then takes him to Pompeii, where, yes, you guessed it, the evil Kiefercus is being evil at the locals.  In the usual fashion, our gladiator hero (who somehow maintains not only an absolutely grueling gym routine from the looks of his abs, but is also a charismatic rebel leader in the making…I guess) wins the heart of a ridiculously modern woman (Her slave-girl is her bestie, she loves horses, and she’s so against the oppression of Rome and stuff, or whatever. And that slave boy who likes horses, too?  Oh, he’s just too dreamy.).  Then he befriends (wait for it) a black gladiator, who has a well rounded and deep background that makes you care so much for him.  You see, he’s…Um…He’s a black gladiator…And he, um…Well, he wants to be free.  Or something.  Whatever.  That’s what they did in Spartacus and Gladiator, so that’s what they’re gonna do here.  And after every scene ends with a shot of the mountain, the mountain explodes.  But don’t worry (they’re not), there’s still plenty of sequences of people chatting, leisurely looking into each others’ eyes, and generally not running the hell away from the exploding mountain.  I’d say they broadcast all the twists, but there aren’t any.  This is a shoddy, boring rehash of every flipping Sword & Sandals movie ever made.  When it’s not defying logic and sense, it’s denying excitement and charm.  And at no point in this film are you unaware that it’s PG-13.  It’s bloodless, sexless, and toothless.

101 Dalmatians:  This early 60s Disney film has a good story, with plenty of adventure, and not a lot of time wasting.  It’s quick, it’s cute, and it’s got plenty of heart.  Cruella De Vil is a solid, demented villain, with a couple of fun, dopy henchmen.  After being disappointed with my recent viewing of Alice in Wonderland, it was nice to see a good Disney cartoon from its classic age.  And Rod Taylor!

Vikings Season One:  This is a show I’m pretty darned shocked to find myself really enjoying.  It starts out kind of wonky, but by the mid-point of the season, I was on board, and by the season finale, I was excited to see what would happen next.  It occasionally feels a bit restrained, probably in light of shows like Game of Thrones, which could never be accused of restraint.  But it’s pretty violent and full of complexity that I find refreshing.  Ragnar is no angel, his wife no saint.  But as a pair, they’re fascinating to watch.  And the rest of the cast is pretty good.  The only major issue I have with the first season is Gabriel Byrne.  I like Byrne, but every time he was on screen, it felt like the writers left the room.  I don’t know what was going on, or what the thinking was, but his character was not well written, plotted, or thought through.  Still, overall, a surprisingly good show.

Streets of Fire:  “Tonight is what it means to be young.”  I just love this movie (it’s #15 on my all time favorites list).  And finally, thanks to the Alamo Drafthouse, I got a chance to see it on the big screen.  Like Brazil, it’s set in a no-time/no-place that I find particularly appealing in its 80s/50s way.  The characters are all archetypes, the story is basic Western, and the music is wonderfully eclectic, from sleazy Rockabilly to operatic Jim Steinman, and the acting is…well, it’s charming.  I love the action and the attitude.  There really aren’t a lot of other films out there quite like this one.  It is part of that 80s thing, where if you dance or rock hard enough, you can change the world.  But it’s so much more than that.  Watching it puts a big smile on my face.  But like a lot of films that came out before the advent of the internet and modern hipsters, you’ve got to watch it with your heart on your sleeve, and without a cynical thought in your head.  Just bask in the fantasy of this Rock and Roll Fantasy.

Mr. Nobody:  What can one say about a movie like this?  I think it comes down to ‘did you enjoy the ride?’  And in my case, yes I did.  A meditation on the paths life takes, the paths it might have, and everything in between.  And some stuff about string theory and the multiverse.  Sure.  The actors are all good, though it almost felt like casting Sarah Polley as the horrible, depressed woman was stunt casting.  She’s so very good at making you hate her, it’s like a superpower.  And she’s rockin’ it in this movie.  Almost every time she opened her mouth, I wanted to Lennie Small her ass.  It’s a head scratcher, for sure.  And it’s not going to be for everyone.  But for this cat, I think it’ll require an eventual re-watch, and I may just come to really enjoy it.  I do like at least part of its message, about the value of different paths and different lives.  It’ll make you think.  I’m sure for a philosophy major, it’s pretty shallow, but compared to pap like Gravity, it’s pretty good.

Magnificent Butcher:  This is a bit of a challenge.  On the one hand, the fighting is pretty cool, and a lot of various and sometimes somewhat obscure forms are on display.  Great.  However, the tone is so all over the map that it becomes distracting.  For the first half, it’s all pretty light hearted, with comic misunderstandings and occasional brawls.  Then a guy gets too handsy with a woman…then murder.  Cold blooded murder while failing to sexually assault.  Um.  That’s not funny.  And then, a moment later, a comedy scene about finding the body.  What?  From there on, it’s up and down, from comic to brutal as various kung fu fighters clash, goof, and kill.  Even the final battle feels pretty awkward, as the ‘evil’ master isn’t really that bad, and he’s trying to avenge his son.  And then it ends on a laugh.  OK.  Chinese comedy has never played that well with me, and this is no exception.  But the fighting is really cool.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (extended version):  I don’t know if I simply wasn’t in the right mood, or if I responded better to the takes used in this version, but I enjoyed myself a heck of a lot more the second time around.  From the musical number and the Spider-Man hate, to the alternate family dinner scene, I found myself more engaged and getting more belly laughs.  Unlike Anchorman’s alternate version Wake Up Ron Burgundy, this extended cut is essentially the same film from a story standpoint, but with many alternate takes and extra scenes.  I think this felt more in tune with what I loved about the first film.  But again, it may have been different circumstances that led to a different opinion.  I don’t know.

5 Centimeters Per Second:  This is the third film I’ve seen from writer/director Makoto Shinkai, and if he’s not careful, he might start to change my overall feelings toward anime.  Voices of a Distant Star and The Place Promised in Our Early Days were very effecting, beautifully animated movies that practically burn with intense nostalgia.  And I mean ‘nostalgia,’ the mix of happiness, sadness, and longing.  Though his character design is in keeping with the near ubiquitous style of Japanese animation (simple shapes, androgyny, big eyes, and pointy chins) the rest of the film stands out as a visual feast.  His color palette, framing, and detail are all gorgeous.  This film consists of three short stories, each dealing with hearts at a distance, coming together and moving apart.  Though I found the final story a bit of a let down, I think it does work with the whole, and it gets the message of the film across.  It just wasn’t as satisfying as the first two.  Shinkai’s work is something I’m going to keep my eye out for.  His is a voice I want to hear more from.

    On Saturday, Satnam and I got the material and did preliminary work on building the set for the film he’ll be shooting in a few weeks.  You can sure see how having a budget would make the potential set more interesting, more detailed.  I think what we’ve got will be fine, and most importantly, won’t distract from the acting.  But with a few thousand dollars, a couple of trained artists/builders, and a few weeks of work, I could see building a really good set.  It makes me think again about my idea for doing a public access type sci-fi show.  I think it could be done.

It looked nothing like this.

    Later on Saturday, we got together for another meeting of the graphic novel discussion group to talk about Thor: God of Thunder.  The group was a bit smaller than usual, but still a good turn out.  I was surprised and somewhat dismayed to find the feelings on the book divided mostly on gender lines.  At no point while I was reading the book did that come into my head as a possible problem point.  It’s dealing with religion was what I thought would get the most disagreement.  I loved the book, and it wasn’t about getting in touch with my 12 year old self.  It was more about enjoying a classically mythological tale told within the Marvel universe.

    So, that was the week, and this next one is already looking brutal.  When did I become this guy?  When did I get such a busy and active social life?  I’m still the same introvert I always was.  I still need to go home, hide in my room, and not deal with people.  That time to recharge has been limited recently, and I’m going to have to do something about that before too long.  Still, a lot of good memories being made.

-Matt