Matt’s Week in Dork! (2/23/14-3/1/14)

    Some weeks are lazy and restful, others are this one.  I spent much of this week away from the Matt-Pad, and quite frankly, my bed and I need a little quality time together.  But I did get to knock another of my all time favorite films off the ‘to see on the big screen’ list.  I also picked up, but haven't had time to listen to, the new St. Vincent cd.  Maybe next week.

Pompeii:  Brace yourselves.  I know you were expecting greatness.  But sadly, I must report that this movie was, in reality, quite terrible.  In 3D for some reason (it was the only showing we could make it to), the most impressive element of the movie was the writers’ Herculean effort to cram every obvious cliché and awkward turn of phrase imaginable into such a relatively short (but way, way too long) runtime.  A boy’s family is killed by an evil Roman (played by a terrible Kiefer Sutherland).  Of course, he then becomes the ultimate gladiator of Londinium, as we see all  the usual gladiator movie sequences.  Naturally, he attracts the attention of a powerful man, who then takes him to Pompeii, where, yes, you guessed it, the evil Kiefercus is being evil at the locals.  In the usual fashion, our gladiator hero (who somehow maintains not only an absolutely grueling gym routine from the looks of his abs, but is also a charismatic rebel leader in the making…I guess) wins the heart of a ridiculously modern woman (Her slave-girl is her bestie, she loves horses, and she’s so against the oppression of Rome and stuff, or whatever. And that slave boy who likes horses, too?  Oh, he’s just too dreamy.).  Then he befriends (wait for it) a black gladiator, who has a well rounded and deep background that makes you care so much for him.  You see, he’s…Um…He’s a black gladiator…And he, um…Well, he wants to be free.  Or something.  Whatever.  That’s what they did in Spartacus and Gladiator, so that’s what they’re gonna do here.  And after every scene ends with a shot of the mountain, the mountain explodes.  But don’t worry (they’re not), there’s still plenty of sequences of people chatting, leisurely looking into each others’ eyes, and generally not running the hell away from the exploding mountain.  I’d say they broadcast all the twists, but there aren’t any.  This is a shoddy, boring rehash of every flipping Sword & Sandals movie ever made.  When it’s not defying logic and sense, it’s denying excitement and charm.  And at no point in this film are you unaware that it’s PG-13.  It’s bloodless, sexless, and toothless.

101 Dalmatians:  This early 60s Disney film has a good story, with plenty of adventure, and not a lot of time wasting.  It’s quick, it’s cute, and it’s got plenty of heart.  Cruella De Vil is a solid, demented villain, with a couple of fun, dopy henchmen.  After being disappointed with my recent viewing of Alice in Wonderland, it was nice to see a good Disney cartoon from its classic age.  And Rod Taylor!

Vikings Season One:  This is a show I’m pretty darned shocked to find myself really enjoying.  It starts out kind of wonky, but by the mid-point of the season, I was on board, and by the season finale, I was excited to see what would happen next.  It occasionally feels a bit restrained, probably in light of shows like Game of Thrones, which could never be accused of restraint.  But it’s pretty violent and full of complexity that I find refreshing.  Ragnar is no angel, his wife no saint.  But as a pair, they’re fascinating to watch.  And the rest of the cast is pretty good.  The only major issue I have with the first season is Gabriel Byrne.  I like Byrne, but every time he was on screen, it felt like the writers left the room.  I don’t know what was going on, or what the thinking was, but his character was not well written, plotted, or thought through.  Still, overall, a surprisingly good show.

Streets of Fire:  “Tonight is what it means to be young.”  I just love this movie (it’s #15 on my all time favorites list).  And finally, thanks to the Alamo Drafthouse, I got a chance to see it on the big screen.  Like Brazil, it’s set in a no-time/no-place that I find particularly appealing in its 80s/50s way.  The characters are all archetypes, the story is basic Western, and the music is wonderfully eclectic, from sleazy Rockabilly to operatic Jim Steinman, and the acting is…well, it’s charming.  I love the action and the attitude.  There really aren’t a lot of other films out there quite like this one.  It is part of that 80s thing, where if you dance or rock hard enough, you can change the world.  But it’s so much more than that.  Watching it puts a big smile on my face.  But like a lot of films that came out before the advent of the internet and modern hipsters, you’ve got to watch it with your heart on your sleeve, and without a cynical thought in your head.  Just bask in the fantasy of this Rock and Roll Fantasy.

Mr. Nobody:  What can one say about a movie like this?  I think it comes down to ‘did you enjoy the ride?’  And in my case, yes I did.  A meditation on the paths life takes, the paths it might have, and everything in between.  And some stuff about string theory and the multiverse.  Sure.  The actors are all good, though it almost felt like casting Sarah Polley as the horrible, depressed woman was stunt casting.  She’s so very good at making you hate her, it’s like a superpower.  And she’s rockin’ it in this movie.  Almost every time she opened her mouth, I wanted to Lennie Small her ass.  It’s a head scratcher, for sure.  And it’s not going to be for everyone.  But for this cat, I think it’ll require an eventual re-watch, and I may just come to really enjoy it.  I do like at least part of its message, about the value of different paths and different lives.  It’ll make you think.  I’m sure for a philosophy major, it’s pretty shallow, but compared to pap like Gravity, it’s pretty good.

Magnificent Butcher:  This is a bit of a challenge.  On the one hand, the fighting is pretty cool, and a lot of various and sometimes somewhat obscure forms are on display.  Great.  However, the tone is so all over the map that it becomes distracting.  For the first half, it’s all pretty light hearted, with comic misunderstandings and occasional brawls.  Then a guy gets too handsy with a woman…then murder.  Cold blooded murder while failing to sexually assault.  Um.  That’s not funny.  And then, a moment later, a comedy scene about finding the body.  What?  From there on, it’s up and down, from comic to brutal as various kung fu fighters clash, goof, and kill.  Even the final battle feels pretty awkward, as the ‘evil’ master isn’t really that bad, and he’s trying to avenge his son.  And then it ends on a laugh.  OK.  Chinese comedy has never played that well with me, and this is no exception.  But the fighting is really cool.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (extended version):  I don’t know if I simply wasn’t in the right mood, or if I responded better to the takes used in this version, but I enjoyed myself a heck of a lot more the second time around.  From the musical number and the Spider-Man hate, to the alternate family dinner scene, I found myself more engaged and getting more belly laughs.  Unlike Anchorman’s alternate version Wake Up Ron Burgundy, this extended cut is essentially the same film from a story standpoint, but with many alternate takes and extra scenes.  I think this felt more in tune with what I loved about the first film.  But again, it may have been different circumstances that led to a different opinion.  I don’t know.

5 Centimeters Per Second:  This is the third film I’ve seen from writer/director Makoto Shinkai, and if he’s not careful, he might start to change my overall feelings toward anime.  Voices of a Distant Star and The Place Promised in Our Early Days were very effecting, beautifully animated movies that practically burn with intense nostalgia.  And I mean ‘nostalgia,’ the mix of happiness, sadness, and longing.  Though his character design is in keeping with the near ubiquitous style of Japanese animation (simple shapes, androgyny, big eyes, and pointy chins) the rest of the film stands out as a visual feast.  His color palette, framing, and detail are all gorgeous.  This film consists of three short stories, each dealing with hearts at a distance, coming together and moving apart.  Though I found the final story a bit of a let down, I think it does work with the whole, and it gets the message of the film across.  It just wasn’t as satisfying as the first two.  Shinkai’s work is something I’m going to keep my eye out for.  His is a voice I want to hear more from.

    On Saturday, Satnam and I got the material and did preliminary work on building the set for the film he’ll be shooting in a few weeks.  You can sure see how having a budget would make the potential set more interesting, more detailed.  I think what we’ve got will be fine, and most importantly, won’t distract from the acting.  But with a few thousand dollars, a couple of trained artists/builders, and a few weeks of work, I could see building a really good set.  It makes me think again about my idea for doing a public access type sci-fi show.  I think it could be done.

It looked nothing like this.

    Later on Saturday, we got together for another meeting of the graphic novel discussion group to talk about Thor: God of Thunder.  The group was a bit smaller than usual, but still a good turn out.  I was surprised and somewhat dismayed to find the feelings on the book divided mostly on gender lines.  At no point while I was reading the book did that come into my head as a possible problem point.  It’s dealing with religion was what I thought would get the most disagreement.  I loved the book, and it wasn’t about getting in touch with my 12 year old self.  It was more about enjoying a classically mythological tale told within the Marvel universe.

    So, that was the week, and this next one is already looking brutal.  When did I become this guy?  When did I get such a busy and active social life?  I’m still the same introvert I always was.  I still need to go home, hide in my room, and not deal with people.  That time to recharge has been limited recently, and I’m going to have to do something about that before too long.  Still, a lot of good memories being made.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (12/22/13-12/28/13)

Mmm. Crack.

    Ugh.  Glad this season is nearly at an end.  I miss when I could actually enjoy the holidays, when they weren’t just oppressive, depressive, stress filled weeks of gloom and frustration.  Flippin’ retail, man.  Flippin’ awful consumers.  I’m all for commerce, but the holiday season is sickening.  Like human swine pushing each other out of the way for more space at the trough, where they’re sucking down foul smelling bits of waste.   Anyway, the week was made better by a bunch of new movies.  I’ve been trying to cram in a bunch of 2013 films as we get down to the wire for writing the Dorkies.

The Prowler:  “If you were just a dame, it’d be different.”  Van Heflyn plays a failed sports star who became a cop for all the wrong reasons.  When he latches on to a bored housewife, the force of his persistent personality on her.  And it’s probably no surprise that things start getting ugly fast.  Heflyn is repugnant.  He should get together with Ann Savage from Detour.  The movie itself isn’t all that great.  But it’s fun to watch such an awful monster try to get one over on the world.

Stoker:  After the death of her father, a strange girl must deal with a distant mother and a sinister uncle.  Family secrets slowly creep out.  Things get weirder and weirder, as relationships become more tangled.  And then murder.  The film is extremely kinky and strange.  It’s beautifully shot and drips with a kind of Gothic eroticism.  I can’t say I loved the movie, but I definitely found myself enjoying watching it.  It’s like Poe writing a Noir.

Blancanieves:  This silent, black & white take on Snow White is a worthy attempt, though I don’t think a particular success.  There are some great bits, and I like some of the ending.  But it’s too often too modern, in spite of its early 20th century setting.  And, to be honest, the first hour is kind of bloated.  Still, there is charm, and it isn’t a bad movie.  I think it could have been much better, though.

Sapphire & Steel:  When I first tried this show, I wasn’t especially enamored of it, but for some reason kept watching, and came to really like it.  The atmosphere is kind of amazing; the surreal mystery and existential danger, with time and space being cracked in unfathomable ways.  I would love to try to recapture some of the gut-level weirdness this show managed to maintain.  Each story keeps you guessing, not just about where things will go, but even about where they’ve already been.  Really something.  And what an ending.  Holy crap.

Computer Chess:  “It could be Sanskrit, it could be Pig Latin.”  Set in the dorky world of a 1980s computer programmer chess tournament, this awkward slice of low budget comedy is very, very odd.  I suspect that much of the film is at least in part adlib, which definitely adds to the discomfort level, but I don’t know if it adds to the plot or characters all that much.  Man, things get so danged creepy and awkward as the film goes on.  Swingers are creepy, man.

Getaway:  Wow, this is some low-budget, shot in Eastern Europe garbage.  Cheap looking, boring, irritating, and ultimately dumb.  The ‘twist’ ending is f’ing stupid.  This along with The Purge, puts Ethan Hawke in two of the worst films of 2013.  I’ve never been a fan, but dang man.  What happened?  And Selena Gomez?  Some people have it.  And then there’s Selena Gomez.  I’ve now seen entirely too much of her attempts to act.  Enough.

Alice in Wonderland:  Disney’s take on the classic surreal children’s novel is kind of definitive Disney.  It has some really good moments and some technical mastery, but is ultimately a bit soulless and bland.  Alice wanders around, dealing with Warner Bros. cartoon type odd situations, where I guess she learns some lessons…sort of.  I feel about this movie sort of what I feel about the 1939 Wizard of Oz.  While taken on its own, it’s a heck of an achievement, but being familiar with the source material, I can’t help but be disappointed that more of the essential nature of the work didn’t make the translation.

Her:  This subject is something I’ve read a good deal about.  Emerging A.I., our relationships with them, the possibilities and pitfalls of romantic love with non-human intelligences, etc.  And Her does get into some of the less obvious, less ‘Hollywood’ areas of it.  And it creates a very buyable near-future world where this relationship becomes possible and very relatable.  It also manages to go in directions that kept me guessing for much of the film, which was itself sort of surprising.  That said, I didn’t love the movie.  I think part of what never quite worked for me might be what works for other people.  At its heart, it’s a movie about a guy and his difficulties with love.  OK.  That’s fine.  But while it did deal with some of the issues of human-A.I. love, it didn’t explore them to the depths I’d have liked.  The social aspects, the ramifications, etc.  Still, it felt more ‘adult’ than a lot of films about robots and A.I.  Less sensationalistic, and much less anti-tech than I expect from this sort of film.  And it’s well acted and well shot.  The movie looks beautiful.  Overall, I enjoyed it, but I didn’t love it.

The Future (Il Futuro):  “At the beginning, we’re all good.  And at some point, we all turn bad.”  The beginning of this movie reminded me of Rust and Bone, and other such depressing slice of European life movies.  You’ve got despondent young people, an emotionally confusing (and confused) young woman with an uncomfortable relationship with sex, thuggish petty criminals.  You know, all that Euro stuff that’s considered so ‘real’ and ‘not Hollywood,’ but is just as cliché as anything churned out by the US studios.  Not my favorite genre of film (Euro-Depression).  However, once Rutger Hauer appears as a former body builder and actor in schlocky 60s beefcake action movies, the film got my attention.  Hauer is typically excellent, playing a sad, former champion.  As he and the young woman, played by Manuela Martelli, begin their relationship, we see deeper levels of each.  She unravels his demon haunted past while he wakes her up to the wonder and possibilities of life.  Had the film not featured the whole drug dealing, weight-lifting thug subplot, and focused instead entirely on the Martelli-Hauer relationship, I think it would have been a better film, and I’d certainly have been more interested.  I don’t know that Martelli is a great actress (like most European actresses, she spends most of her time staring and looking sullen), but she and Hauer are excellent together and their scenes raise the movie several notches.

Tomb of Torture:  Yes, more like Tomb of Boring.  Perhaps not my most clever of reviews, but bloody true.  This movie looks pretty good.  The set design is nice and it’s shot competently, if not masterfully.  But it’s just so, amazing, completely, excruciatingly boring.  Even the Italians have done this kind of wannabe Edgar Alan Poe monster movie better elsewhere.  To say nothing of Corman and the like who could make a more interesting horror movie with a super 8 and fifty dollars.  Skip it.

John Dies at the End:  “Apparently, it’s Eyes Wide Shut World.”  Scott Pilgrim VS. The Naked Lunch.  Fear and Loathing in Las White Castle.  This hipster vision of a drug fueled break in timespace has elements of William S. Burroughs, Hunter S. Thompson, and H.P. Lovecraft.  Unfortunately, it’s got a couple extra doses of Chris Hardwick and the MTV’s Wild ‘n Out.  There’s definitely a lot of things in the film I enjoyed, but at no point did it ever feel as authentically weird as the authors it was obviously harkening back to.  I never quite connected; never quite bought into the weird world.  I’d be curious to see a follow-up to the film.  I liked it enough to say that.  But I can’t sing its praises.  And really, I spent a lot of the film thinking about how much I'd like to punch in the smug faces of the two leads.  They're extremely unlikable in that jock/cockbag high school cool kid sort of way, with their constantly ironic tone and bored contemptuous expressions.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues:  Occasionally very funny, this sequel to one of my favorite modern comedies just doesn’t have the magic.  It’s not bad.  There are a bunch of really good bits.  But there are too many moments that just call back to the first one, and few of those are particularly good.  Everyone does a fine job and there are some good humorous shocks.  However, it seems like this is another sequel from 2013 that misses the boat.  Not as bad as Die Hard, Star Trek, Monsters Inc., or Machete, by any means.  But it doesn’t thrill.

    I found myself really digging M.I.A. this week, too.  Her album Kala has an old school Rap sound, mixed with some cool world beats.  The whole thing trips off my Cyberpunk love.  I imagine the sounds of the under-dome being something like this.

    And that was it.  I’m still scanning through various roleplaying game books to get ready for trying to run a game in the near future.  We set a date for the first meeting, near the end of January.  There are so many great games, and so little time.  I have a dozen or more that I’d love to run, and most of them I’d especially love to run as long term campaigns.  Obviously, that’s not going to happen.

-Matt

A Fistful of Bands! (Matt’s Picks)

    Movies have had a long tradition of musical storytelling, featuring countless made-up bands and musical performers.  There are great amateurs, like Ron Burgundy (Anchorman) and his jazz flute, and mysterious has-been crooners, like Johnny Favorite (Angel Heart).  There are even giant-faced Elvis wannabes like Tom (Eegah).  What follows is a list of a few of my favorites.


Cherry Bomb (Howard the Duck): You don’t have to be Baby Face & Mr. Zits to appreciate this punk-pop group led by cute as a button Beverly (Lea Thompson).  They sing about struggling to make it in the big world, and how much fun it is to hang with a duck.  What’s not to love?

Josie and the Pussycats:  These girls have plenty of history and their ‘animated’ presence was always welcome.  Battling against the evils of corporate music, they produced some mildly catchy pop songs.  But more importantly, they gave Rosario Dawson and early job.

Mok (Rock & Rule):  Super-scientist, illusionist, musical mastermind.  Mok doesn’t stop at Lovecraftian meddling in the fabric of reality when it comes to putting on a mind blowing show.

Wyld Stallyns (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure):  Two young heroes who bring peace and enlightenment to the future.  Ted “Theodor” Logan and Bill S. Preston, Esquire must travel through a Campbell-like Hero’s journey to take their place as architects of the future.  And they do, in fact, rock hard enough to change the world.

Ellen Aim and the Attackers (Streets of Fire):  Her passion for brooding (and possibly mentally challenged) Tom Cody gets her into trouble with pasty faced Raven Shaddock, the leader of a local biker gang.  But when it comes down to it, she embraces the 80s philosophy, ‘if you just rock hard enough, you can do anything.’  The epic finale will bring down even the sturdiest of houses.

-Matt

Showing my band pride.