Book Review: Swords Against Death

    Fantasy isn’t my genre of choice.  I’m a Science Fiction fan.  Even when it’s mostly a matter of aesthetics, like Edgar Rice Burroughs’s Mars books, for example.  I prefer laser guns and repulsor beams to spells and magic carpets.  Yet, there are plenty of exceptions.  Robert E. Howard’s Conan is the obvious.  I can’t get enough of those stories.  And like many lonely, sad teenage boys, I read Michael Moorcock’s Elric with great eagerness (though I preferred Corum).  And then there’s Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser.  They’re something else.

    Contemporary Fantasy literature tends to be descended from two major figures in the genre, J.R.R. Tolkien and Robert E. Howard. There were others, of course, but those two represent two of the major themes and styles.  Tolkien’s side of the spectrum is High Fantasy, with lots of magic, destiny, mysticism, and Medievalism.  Howard’s is more Low Fantasy, focusing on Nietzschean individualism, earthiness, and Antediluvianism.  Yet, those two ends of the spectrum are not the final words on the genre.  There are other voices that have done a great deal to influence writers over the decades.  And Fritz Leiber is up there at the top of the list.  Reading the Fafhrd & the Gray Mouser stories, you can’t help but feel like you’re entering a familiar world, even though things are very weird.  Dungeons & Dragons, deeply rooted in Tolkien though it is, was obviously trying to reach for something from Leiber.  In spite of the 30s/40s origin of the characters, the feel the stories elicit is of those wonderful 70s paperback covers.  There’s a pulpiness, sure.  But there’s also wistful nostalgia, bitterness, and hints of psychedelia, that makes it feel far more modern.  

    “Swords Against Death” is the second collection of Fafhrd & The Gray Mouser stories.  Leiber went back and arranged the stories into chronological order, and fleshed some things out in the 60s.  So in this volume, the two heroes (?) are fast friends, well acquainted with each other, and building something of a reputation.  Over the course of the stories, they achieve some victories, finally put to rest some ghosts, and gain some weird patrons.  They also explore the world enough for you to get a sense that Nehwon is far stranger place than expected.  Lankhmar, the city where most of the stories are based, is a kind of fantasy, urban archetype.  All the seedy, degenerate, corrupt, and exciting things you’d expect in a medieval or ancient metropolis are present and thriving.  But leaving that city, the world around is strange and fractured, wild and weird.  

    For Fantasy fans, Leiber’s stories are must read classics.  For fans of tabletop RPGs, especially games like D&D or Rolemaster, these tales are an absolute must.  But for folks who simply enjoy well told tales, these stories are also quite good.  Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser are a great odd couple team.  Fritz Leiber is a solid writer, and more ‘Literary’ than a lot of his contemporaries, who manages to inject a good deal of humor along with a lot of sadness in to his adventure stories.  

-Matthew J. Constantine

Tabletop Roleplaying Review: Barbarians of Lemuria

    Way back when I first started writing for In the Mouth of Dorkness, I had plans to explore one of my favorite hobbies, tabletop roleplaying games. I started the Prodigal Son column, where I chronicled my attempts to get back into the hobby, which sadly didn’t really work out. At the time, I thought I’d write the occasional review of a game or game book. I only did that once, with my exploration of Over the Edge. Well, I’m giving it another go.

    I can’t remember where I first came across the name of Barbarians of Lemuria (BoL, as it’s known). I think it was on a Facebook gaming page where people were talking about their favorite “light mechanics” games (games with fairly simple, straightforward rules). Whatever the case, something struck me. I read further into it and found that it was a small game, independently written and produced, that had garnered quite the fan base. Those who had heard of it; who had read the book, seemed rather enamored of it. Looking deeper, it started to sound like just the thing I’d been looking for, a game made for running Swords & Sorcery games, a la Robert E. Howard’s Conan. So, I hopped on to Lulu and ordered the hardcover (I always prefer a print copy, and hardcover if I can get it; I’m just not very good with e-books and PDFs).

    The game evolved out of Simon Washbourne’s desire to create a game based on the world of Lin Carter’s Thongor of Lemuria, kind of a second string Conan. Because he couldn’t get an official licensed game out, he modified things, making it more his own. The setting is fine. It’s very true to the Sword & Sorcery aesthetics and would make a fine sandbox to play in. But the system is what I was most interested in, this time around (not something I ever thought I’d say). I was looking for a good system for Conan, and I found it. The basic mechanic is easy and intuitive, which I like. But the thing that really makes the game for me is the career path system. This captures something of the genre I haven’t seen captured before. When you look at a character like Conan, or Solomon Kane, or Elric, or Fafhrd & the Gray Mouser, they weren’t always one thing. Conan wasn’t always a roving adventurer. He was a thief, a military man, a deckhand on a ship, and many other things. He had several careers, learned many skills over his years. And BoL’s career path system reflects that.

    The only weakness I see in the game comes from its adherence to some of the less advanced views of many of the classic genre authors. I’m talking about women, here. The game is firmly set in the ‘big tough men rescuing shapely, weak women’ mindset. It’s not too blatant or overbearing about it, but there are bits dropped throughout that remind you many of the more interesting female swords & sorcery heroes came around much later. It wouldn’t take much of any effort to tweek things onto a more enlightened path.

    So, for folks who like easy, numbers light game mechanics and Swords & Sorcery Fantasy adventure, this is a great game. The setting is fine. The mechanics are nice. And I think you could have a lot of fun with it. I know I’m really looking forward to roping some folks in to Hyborian Age game, and I’ll almost certainly be using Barbarians of Lemuria when I do it. 

-Matthew J. Constantine

Dork Art: Frazetta's Conan

I've been thinking a lot about Frank Frazetta and his amazing artwork recently.  Of course, that gets me to thinking about Conan and wanting to go back and read some of my favorite stories.  Red Nails, Queen of the Black Coast, The Frost Giant's Daughter.  Love it all.

Will we ever get a film that does Howard justice?  I'm not holding my breath, but I can dream.

-Matt

Comic Review: Thor: God of Thunder Volume 2

    The second volume of Thor completes the God Butcher story arc (see my review of the first volume here).  It doesn’t mean all that much when I say Thor is the best thing Marvel is putting out right now.  But it is.  And they’ve managed to do a lot to make me give a crap about a character I never thought much of.  In fact, I would say this is almost for Thor what Kurt Busiek’s run on Conan a decade or so back was; getting to the root of the concept and getting it right.

    This volume stumble briefly at the beginning with the origin of the God Butcher.  It’s not interesting, and makes the villain somehow less complex.  It’s too trite, too cliché.  That said, once that chapter is done, and we get back to the story of Thor from three ages being thrust together to battle a madman bent on destroying all the gods that ever were or will be, things get cracking again.

    By the end of the volume, I was a bit frustrated by aspects of the post-climax resolution.  But co-Dork Brad assures me it isn’t the Planet Hulk/Marvel 1602 ending it looks like.  We’ll see.  I’m sure interested in continuing if the quality remains.  The art is gorgeous and the handling of Thor at three very different points in his exceptionally long life is fascinating.  I hope Aaron and Ribic continue on the line, which as I said is by far the best thing I’ve seen from Marvel in I don’t even know how long.  They’re a writer/artist team akin to Busiek and Nord (actually, Ribic is more consistently good than Nord).

    My complaint from the review of the first volume remains.  Marvel charging $25. for this very, very thin book is a crime.  I don’t know what’s up with Marvel recently, but their prices seem a)random and b) insane.  Both volumes collected together in one hard cover volume MIGHT warrant a $25. price tag.  And now the soft cover for volume 1 is out and it’s…that’s right, $20.  F you, Marvel.  F you.  The more I see prices like this the more I’ll be hitting the library or borrowing it from friends.  I’d love to have Thor on my shelf.  It’s absolutely the kind of book I’d own, read again, and suggest to others.  But at these prices, I’m not recommending buying it to anyone.

Thor: God of Thunder Volume 2: Godbomb
Author: Jason Aaron
Artist: Esad Ribic and Butch Guice
Publisher: Marvel Comics
ISBN: 978-0-7851-6843-0

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (8/26/12-9/1/12)

    Ouch.  Not my best week.  A week to crawl into a corner and lick wounds.  Which I did, and as it’s me, there was a movie playing the whole time.

Die Nibelungen- Kriemhild’s Revenge:  Right off the bat, this movie had more Huns in it than I was expecting.  Kriemhild’s quest for vengeance against the dirtbags who literally stabbed her husband in the back takes her into the tent of Attila.  OK.  There’s a lot of talk about loyalty in this, and the ‘loyal German soul.’  But everything could be solved if everyone just handed over the betraying murderer of Siegfried and of a baby.  I mean, he’s a scumbag and needs to die.  Frankly, the king should have put him down like a dog himself.  Forget loyalty, man.  It’s a two way street.  There comes a point where you have to realize that some people bring ruin upon themselves, and the only thing to do is step aside and let nature take its course.  Where was all this talk of loyalty while this baby killing/Siegfried stabber was working with a foreign queen to betray the king, his sister, and his best friend?  Now it’s supposed to be heroic to stand at such a piece of crap’s defense?  Forget that.  Almost all the really good stuff is in the first half of the first film.  This movie feels like an extended afterthought.

The Bourne Identity:  Jason, would you please stop throwing away guns!  When a super-soldier has a brain glitch and wakes up in the Mediterranean, he’s got to figure out who he is, what he’s been up to, and who wants him dead.  I never thought much of the idea of Matt Damon as an action hero, but he pulls it off competently here.  The movie isn’t some kind of game changer.  It’s not amazing.  But it’s a solid action thriller with a good cast and plenty of exotic locations.  If I’m ever shot twice in the back and fished out of the ocean with a bad case of the amnesia, I hope Franka Potente is the fist chick I run into.

The Bourne Supremacy:  I enjoy these films.  I do.  But this one has one pet peeve of mine right off the bat.  Scriptwriters seem at a loss when it comes to writing couples, especially in action films, so when Bourne’s lady made it through the first film there were two ways it would play out.  Either she’d be ignored and forgotten in the next movie (see the Bond franchise), or she’d be killed off in the first few minutes.  Getting past that, this movie is more of the same action packed espionage.  Solid, fast paced action with plenty of twists and turns.  Sadly, it is part of the modern school of shaky-cam action.  Not as bad as many, but still, is a tripod that expensive?

The Bourne Ultimatum:  Jason Bourne is back, being chased by shaky-cams and a who’s who of art-house/character actors.  More layers of the onion are pealed back, to reveal yet more interesting actors.  If you enjoyed the first two films, there’s plenty more of what they had.  Again, not breaking a lot of new ground in the spy/action thriller genre, but perfectly fine.  I feel like there’s some kind of direction they could take this series in that would be really interesting (not sure what it would be), but having seen the fourth film (without Damon), it seems they’ll keep doing much the same stuff.  There’s potential here, but I think we’ll get workmanlike entries for years to come, which isn’t bad, just not great.

Terror is a Man:  Yet another not very good movie inspired by H.G. Wells’ novel The Island of Dr. Moreau.  It’s boring and not very well made.  The bottle blond bimbo is weird, and the lead gives off a serious creeper vibe.  Sadly, this movie never comes close to living up to its potential.  It’s just dull.

The Flesh Eaters:  “I can assure you, we are in for a good pounding.”  It starts out promising, with a seriously cute girl losing her top (before getting eaten by oil?).  Straight out of Long Island, yo.  After landing on one of those mysterious, uninhabited islands just outside of New York City, our intrepid adventurers come across some weird trouble.  And that’s just the local marine biologist.  This movie is kind of awesome.  It’s very weird, with some strange characters and dialog, but it’s strangely charming and charmingly strange.

Conan the Barbarian:  “Crom.  I have not prayed to you before.  I have no tongue for it.  No one, not even you will remember why we fought, why we died.  What matters is that two stood against many.  That’s what’s important.”  Though the details of his origin are frustratingly wrong for this Robert E. Howard fan, this still stands as one of the best films ever made.  Yup.  Said it.  Great music, great production design, some really kick-ass fights.  Like some of my favorite films, it takes its time and doesn’t fill space with needless talk.  Though I still hope not, I expect that this will remain the closest thing to Howard’s stories we’ll ever see.  No camp, serious, and quality.  Arnold doesn’t say much, but when he does, it’s spot-on.  James Earl Jones makes a scary villain.

Doctor Who: Planet of Fire:  One of the best looking episodes since the height of Tom Baker’s run, it also feels a bit grander, more ambitious.  Good sets and great location shooting.  I guess that’s a good thing for one of the final Peter Davison stories.  It also introduces Peri, a woman of rather startling dimension(s).  I was also psyched to see Peter Wyngarde (Jason King lives!!!) doing an nice Peter O’Toole.  It’s too bad that it feels like Davison is finally coming in to his own, just as he’s on his way out.  Of course, it helps to not have Tegan.  Man, it helps.

Outcasts:  “You know nothing of my morality, you insect.”  A lot of potential, never really achieved.  Most of the characters are too overwrought to be as interesting as they should be.  The struggles are a bit too obvious.  And the mystery a bit too reminiscent of Earth 2 and Solaris.  It kept feeling like it could have gotten really interesting, but never steps up to the plate.  Chalk this one up on the ‘almost’ list.

The Garment Jungle:  Lee J. Cobb heads an excellent cast in this tale of horror and corruption in the garment business of New York.  Murder, mayhem, and betrayal.  Unions VS. business, hired guns and idealists.  Can Robert Loggia and his fiery Latin wife win against Richard Boone’s smooth thug Wesley Addy?  Can Kerwin Mathews set everything on the right path?  A story about right and wrong, justice and oppression, and a father and son.

The Law:  I guess I’m still to American-centric when it comes to comedy, ‘cause generally I either don’t get this, or don’t find it funny when I do.  The shabby Italian village is all kinds of old world charming, and the ladies are lovely.  But I still don’t think much of the way European men treat women in film.  Otherwise, the sequence of coastal fishing is a highlight.  I found that genuinely fascinating.

Legend of the Fist:  Man, if we could have just found twenty or thirty really good martial artists, we could’a taken down the Keizer in no time.  With attempted touches of Casablanca (more than just the club’s name) and other call backs to older films, it plays a bit (!) fast and loose with history, but this is by Andrew Lau (Hong Kong’s answer to Michael Bay), so no shocks there.  Lau regular Shu Qi shows up to play a femme fatale.  I love the British Stanley Tucci looking dude, even if he can’t act a bit.  Subtlety is not one of Lau’s strong points, so if you’re looking for it, go elsewhere.  The film is all kinds of chest pounding and flag waving.  Though I’ll admit that the strong nationalism is a little hard to swallow when you think of where China would soon go.  Not that Japan wasn’t guilty of extreme horror.  It was.  Or that China’s allies didn’t turn their backs on her in her hour of need.  They did.  But the Chinese system that rose out of this time was a bloody nightmare, too.

Jailhouse Rock:  “That ain’t tactics, honey.  It’s just the beast in me.”  Don’t mess with Elvis or he’ll punch you dead.  He’s kind of a rebel without a clue here.  His run-in with some hip rich people is fantastic.  What a halfcocked dimwit.  It’s hard to root for him, ‘cause he’s kind of a tool.  But the music is nice, the girl is cute, and hey, it’s rock & roll, man.

    I’m making a specific and concerted effort to finally watch The Prisoner from start to finish.  Such a fine show, that I’ve somehow managed to never see in its entirety.  Oddly ended up seeing Peter Wyngarde twice in as many days, thanks to watching the episode ‘Checkmate’ and the Doctor Who story Planet of Fire.  Awesome.

    I read Christopher Hitchens’ book Mortality, about his cancer diagnosis and eventual death.  It’s a rough read, but full of Hitchens’ usual strength.

-Matt

A Fistful of One Too Many! (Matt’s Picks)

    Men in Black’s third outing may be great.  It may be a breath of fresh air in a series nobody was excited about.  But I doubt it.  My guess is it’s a dead horse that is getting unfairly abused.  In that spirit, we’re looking at some of the movies that took a franchise one step too far.  Doesn’t mean the franchise wasn’t eventually redeemed with a further film.  But at least for a time, they went too far.

5.  Battle For the Planet of the Apes:  Look, I enjoy the heck out of this movie.  But seriously, it’s a giant step down in quality from the previous films.  And after the fantastic, brutal explosion of revolutionary violence that was Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, this made-for-TV quality whimper was a sad out for the series.

4.  Hellraiser 3:  The first two films are interesting, with lots of potential.  They don’t live up to that potential, but they’re pretty good.  The third film is goofy, with the lamest cenobites of the franchise, and it’s generally boring.  There are some potentially cool bits that don’t get explored.  It’s a total letdown.

3.  Conan the Destroyer:  Conan the Barbarian is one of the best fantasy films ever made, a grand action movie, and just f’in cool.  And while it didn’t get the details right, it managed to capture the spirit of Robert E. Howard’s amazing stories.  And then Destroyer.  Wacky humor, silly villains, Grace Jones, and Arnold plays Conan as though he suffered some kind of debilitating brain injury.  Everything wrong that the general public believes Conan is about is sadly present in this sequel.  It has a couple good scenes, but this ain’t Conan.  Not at all.

2.  Superman 3:  You know what doesn’t help?  Adding Richard Pryor.  I don’t much care for the Christopher Reeve Superman series, but the third film is an exercise in poop-made-film.  It seems fairly clear that they had a script which featured a computer tech character.  Then they cast Richard Pryor in that role, went back, and re-wrote it to feature him MUCH more prominently.  And it’s garbage of the highest order.  Anyone who says Superman 4 is the worst of the original films is probably an idiot.

1.  Lethal Weapon 3:  Good sweet crap, one of the worst danged movies I’ve ever watched 50% of in fast forward.  SOOOOOOO flipping boring.  So unfunny.  So unactiony.  I enjoyed the heck out of the first two films, but this one KILLED it for me.  Never even bothered with the fourth film.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (5/20/12-5/26/12)

    Kind of a rough few weeks, but I still got some good Dork Life in.  Only a few movies, but a bunch of reading.  And I’m semi-mobile again.  I’ve got my bike fixed and my legs are working about the best I can expect from them.


    Chinatown:  There is a big mess in L.A. and detective Jake has just put his foot in it.  Conspiracy, murder, money, and some of the darkest of family secrets unravel as Jake tries his darnedest to figure things out, and keep his head.  Colorful characters played by a cast of greats.  An amazing score.  Crackerjack dialog and direction.  Heck, it even seemed like Faye Dunaway had emotions.  After watching this, I want to grab a bunch of Noir DVDs off the shelf, read a couple Hard Case Crime novels, and listen to some swinging 40s music.  A great film, and a must see.  Thanks to Brad and the AFI Silver, I’ve now seen it on the big screen, which was a real treat.

The Running Man:  One of the great Arnold vehicles, it’s also pretty much what Susanne Collins lifted whole cloth from to create her Hunger Games novels.  A man unjustly accused is forced into a game show, where he must survive in a live blood sport.  It plays with the trends of TV at that time, which grimly foretell the reality of TV today.  Evil corporations, cynical audiences, the media run amok.  All filtered through the eye of the 80s.

Battleship:  When the villagers wanted to rape some angels, Lot said; “Look, I have two daughters who are virgins. I am ready to send them out to you, for you to treat as you please, but do nothing to these men since they are now under the protection of my roof.”  So, yeah, you know all that kind of really, really F-dup crap in the Bible?  The stuff the preachers don’t usually like to talk about?  Watching this was a lot like that.  We’re talking wheels within wheels and covered in eyes.  Balls of wings if you see inside your soul will burn.  Cities blasted into oblivion with little provocation.  Seven headed beasts with crowns and whores and such.  The sky turning black, temples collapsing on long haired guys, and lots and lots of things rending.  This film is abomination.  Stone it in the town square.  Old school stuff.

Erotikon:  Kind of a goofy comedy, it has some pretty clever gags.  It’s the oldest breaking of the ‘fourth wall’ I’ve seen, with the reference to what the film watching public enjoys.  Not a bad movie, but not especially good.  There is a brief, interesting discussion of Swedish silent film that places this movie in context, and reveals it and its creators’ effect on the film industry to come.  The film is well made and well acted, but I had a hard time getting into any of the characters or what they were doing.

Hellboy:  I’ve reviewed this film a few times, and I still love it.  It’s a great blend of Mignola and Del Toro, with a good balance of staying true to the comic while being an entertaining film.  Ron Perlman was born to play Hellboy.  For once, a tacked on romance actually works and works well.  And though it gives you a taste of hope, it still has that impending doom that should haunt Hellboy’s life.  Maybe not as much as it does in the comic, but it’s there in the film.  I just wish more of Mignola had made it into the sequel, which goes way off the mark.

Boardwalk Empire:  “We all have to decide how much sin we can live with.”  Crime, vice, glitz, and the behind the scenes oceanic flowing of power and control in Atlantic City and other dangerous warrens during the bloody and ugly years of Prohibition.  A fine cast, great production value, solid writing, and a good story.  This is excellent television, if not for the weak of stomach.  Occasional heroism peppers some grueling bouts of inhumanity.

    Ben and I watched the first disk of Hell on Wheels.  Pretty good.  It kept making me want to watch other stuff.  Got in the mood to watch Kung Fu and Ravenous right off the bat.  I’m developing quite the hankering to play some more Red Dead Redemption.  And maybe soon I can finally rope Brad into bringing Deadwood over to the Matt-Pad.

    I finished listening to the audio version of Christopher Hitchens’ autobiography, Hitch 22.  I really liked that it was read by him.  I should be writing and posting my review soon.

    Continuing my recent trend of finally reading various single issue comics I’ve acquired over the last few years, I read the 2011 Free Comic Book Day issue of Atomic Robo.  I do like that comic, as it reminds me of Hellboy among others.  Though I don’t think it’s as good.  Perhaps a bit too modern, with a few too many pop-culture references.  Still, it’s an enjoyable read and I am likely going to grab a full trade paperback one of these days.  Also included is a brief intro to the comic series Foster Broussard, which I didn’t much care for, and an exceptionally short teaser for Moon Girl, which has an interesting look and there’s something tantalizing about, but so little is revealed, it’s hard to tell how interesting the actual series might be.  I may have to look into a trade of that, if such exists.

    “You have to be @%$#ing kidding me.”  When at my local Laughing Ogre comic shop last year, I happened to see that IDW was bringing out a line of Godzilla comics.  Huh.  That’s crazy.  I’ve got the old Marvel run, which was…something.  I mostly picked it up, because they did a series of tailored covers, depicting the local shop getting stomped, which I thought was a clever gimmick.  And I do love Godzilla, and it is written by Eric Powell.  All that aside, it went in the pile and like so many single issues before it, didn’t get read.  Now that’s changed, and I’m glad.  I enjoyed it quite a bit.  The art isn’t amazing, but it’s good enough.  And just the idea of Godzilla rampaging again, especially as the monster he originally was, is kind of fun.  I may grab the first trade of this.

    Another Free Comic Book Day book from 2011 was next.  Super Dinosaur: Origin Special by Robert Kirkman and Jason Howard.  It’s from their kid-friendly line and seems like fun.  The writing is a bit strained, not quite capturing kid speech.  It’s more like typical cartoon show dialog.  But it’s not bad and the story about a genius kid and his dinosaur friend defending the hollow Earth is pretty cool.  It was certainly entertaining enough that I’m giving serious thought to grabbing the first trade, which I think just recently came out.

    More 2011 Free Comic Book Day stuff with an Avatar: The Last Airbender/Star Wars: The Clone Wars double.  Avatar was fun, with two short vignettes, one about Aang and some Airbender artifacts, the other about the philosophy of cleanliness (or not).  Sadly, the Clone Wars story is quite lame, with Opress (a yellow Darth Maul) and a Hutt and some blah blah.

    Staying kid-friendly with 2011’s Free Comic Book Day samples, I read a Kung Fu Panda/Richie Rich double.  The two Kung Fu Panda shorts were pretty good.  The writing felt about right, and the art was nice.  It’s brief, but fans of the films should enjoy.  I never liked Richie Rich.  When I was a kid, the cartoon used to infuriate me.  So, I didn’t have much hope/expectation for the short story here.  It’s OK kiddy stuff, but pretty broad and written like a 90s cartoon (read: not that well).  While I might be interested in reading more Kung Fu Panda, I would not follow Richie as they try and fail to make him into Johnny Quest.

    On the darker side of that same Free Comic Book Day was the Baltimore/Criminal Macabre double.  Regular readers will already know that I love Mike Mignola’s work, and this is no exception.  It’s short and doesn’t tell much of a story, but what’s there is very cool.  I really, really have to read the novel one of these days.  And the other stuff that’s out there on the character Baltimore.  Unfortunately the other comic, Steve Niles’ Criminal Macabre was not so good.  I found the concept and writing to be a bit too 80s and a bit too junior high creative writing class.  I’ll skip any more of that.

    Getting away from the free stuff, I read Jason Conquers America, a little selection of mad Norwegian comic artist Jason’s shorts and interviews with both the artist and his frequent colorist Hubert.  Dang, it’s a batch of crazy, as one would expect.  The strip about Jesus raking leaves seriously cracks me up.  The look on the Devil’s face is priceless.  And Darth Vader at the poetry slam…Yeah.

    Digging through boxes with old comics and stuff from previous years’ SPX and other comic cons, I came across a short comic called The Ravens’ Gambit.  It’s a super-small publisher comic that felt like it was based on someone’s D&D game.  Not my cup of tea.  The art is OK for small press stuff, but nothing wowed me.

    And then I found a tiny little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into comic for the recent (last year?) re-launch of that line with original co-creator Kevin Eastman back on board.  It’s all right.  I feel like I’m too much of a poser when it comes to the Turtles.  I kind of like ‘em, and I’ve read a bit, but mostly I liked the cartoon and the Archie Comics version.  I’m trying.  Time will tell.

    Another discovery was Dynamite’s 2009 issue 0 of their Buck Rogers re-launch.  I’ll admit, I’m intrigued.  Generally, Dynamite hasn’t impressed me.  They tend to have glitzy production value, but little else.  Still, after my surprise enjoyment of their way-back set Burroughs’ Mars story, I’m a little more open to checking them out.  And I’m probably going to have to read the first trade of this.  The art is pretty good and there is certainly potential.

    More Free Comic Book Day stuff with 2008’s Hellboy, featuring the story The Mole, which is weird and gross.  It’s also got a short B.P.R.D. story and another brief one about a youngish Prof. Bruttenholm.  As usual, it’s all good stuff.  Can’t wait for the next Library Edition of Hellboy.  Soon.

    Back to some kid-friendly fare, I read 2010’s Owly and Friends! from Top Shelf.  Owly was, as always, very cute.  James Kochalka’s surreal Johnny Boo Does Something is…um, special.  Then there’s a Korgi short, which is beautifully illustrated, if not really my thing.  Overall, good stuff for young readers.

    I also found an issue 0 for Conan.  Looks like it came out in anticipation of the passing of the baton from Kurt Busiek and crew to Tim Truman.  I’d read this before, as it’s in the Conan trade volume 7.  Basically, an adaptation of the poem/short “Cimmeria,” with a brief story of Conan’s return to his homeland spliced in.  It does look nice, and is one of the better bits from Truman’s run.

    In my non-comic/movie life, I finally got my bike repaired.  I took a spill last summer, banged my legs up pretty good, and a month or so later, when I finally got back on my feet, I found that something was wrong with my bike.  Turns out a little thingy that holds the chain was bent real bad, and needed to be replaced.  So, that done, I got dropped off at the bike shop and rode home.  Now, the bike shop wasn’t all that close to where I lived when I purchased the thing.  I’ve since moved a good distance further away.  So, it’s a two and a half hour bike trip.  The up side is I get to spend about an hour of that trip on the W&OD trail, which if I were in a long term relationship, would be my mistress.  I love riding the trail.  It’s generally smooth and gentle, with varied scenery and lots of friendly folk (even got a complement on my Wyld Stallynz T-shirt from a young lady).  The down side is the hour and a half of the trip that wasn’t on the trail.  Unfortunately, I seem to live in a nearly perfectly bad spot to be a cyclist.  It’s 45+ minutes by bike to the nearest place that is at all enjoyable to ride a bike.  One day, I’ll get me a car and a bike wrack and all will be well.  ‘Til then, oh, W&OD, we’ll always have Vienna.

-Matt