Matt’s Weeks in Dork (6/22/14-6/28/14 & 6/29/14-7/5/14)

    It’s been a busy couple of weeks, which is the reason for the combined weeks.  Good stuff, but not much related to the Dork Life.  Without more rambling…

(6/22/14-6/28/14)
Children of Paradise:  Beautifully produced, and filled with excellent performances, I found this movie interesting to watch, but ultimately not all that interesting.  There’s a lot of old-world charm, some sinister goings on, and a cast of colorful rogues.  Some very good bits keep you going through some of the longer dry spells.  I’m sure there are meanings and interesting aspects of the film I didn’t catch or understand.  Taken only on its surface, it was just OK.

    Thanks to the Alamo, we got to see Bill & Ted on the big screen.  Of course, I saw it on the big screen when it first came out, redefining my life, dude.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure:  One of my favorite films, and a weirdly defining one for me, this weird 80s comedy is totally silly and totally weird.  It’s also most triumphant.  Two dumbasses travel through time and meet a random assortment of historic figures.  Then crazy stuff starts happening.  This is one you’re either on board for, or it’s not gonna make a lot of sense.  I love it.

Girl Happy:   Not one of the better Elvis movies, it’s charmingly awkward, but not especially memorable.  Few particularly good songs.  It doesn’t suck, but it’s not one of the good ones.

22 Jump Street:  They made a sequel?  Boy did they.  Throughout the film, they continually have a great deal of fun having a go at themselves for doing a sequel in the first place.  Like the first film, this one is super silly, with plenty of dumb humor, lots of gross-out jokes, and the impossibly charming antics of Channing Tatum.  Few actors have turned me around as much as The Tatum.  But he’s won my heart, like he has millions of my fellow citizens.  If you haven’t seen 21 Jump Street (the movie), go out and do so.  Now.  Come back to this one later.

    I came so close to bailing on Transformers.  Not only was it a work night, but I was already crazy tired.  And I had an opportunity to go on a date with my lady.  But, I’d said yes, the tickets were already purchased, and I’m a dumbass.  I made the wrong choice.

Transformers: Age of Extinction:  One of the worst films I’ve sat through in 2014, the movie is most guilty of THE cardinal sin.  It’s boring.  Some movies feel like they can’t stop ending (see The Return of the King).  The movie felt like it couldn’t stop beginning.  An hour and a half into the film, and we were still being introduced to new plotlines.  Not twists in the original, but totally new lines for the story to go down.  And none of them were especially good.  Marky Mark was a step up from LeDouche, but he’s not that great.  And he’s as Texan as JFK.  The girl playing his daughter makes me long for the plastic dolls they had in the earlier films.  And that surfer dude?  Holy nuts.  I kept wanting to see him stomped on.  There’s so much awful dialog, it’s hard to pick just one thing wrong.  But there’s a speech near the end of the movie (the end that seemed like it would never arrive) where Optimus starts spouting this circular logic BS that sounded like something Deepak Chopra would put on a greeting card about knowing who we are and why we’re here…Good sweet crap, it was terrible.  The movie is dumb.  Not just dumb.  Boring.  It’s better than part 2.  Probably on par with part 3 (which was awful).  Not as good as part 1.  Wow.  Sad.

Doctor Who: The Enemy of the World:  The Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria find themselves in a weird future, where a conniving politician is plotting to take over the world.  The twist?  The politician looks identical to the Doctor.  OK.  It’s not the best premise.  But I quickly got into the story and the various people working with and against Salamander, the charming but deadly would-be master of the world.  What’s crazy about this one is that about half way through, there’s a reveal, and the story takes on a whole different dimension that I did not see coming.  And it’s kinda awesome.  Anyway, not an amazing story, but a good one.  And I really enjoyed Troughton as the Doctor.  I hope they’ll uncover more of these old stories.

Shaolin Intruders:  I like the plot twists, and some of the fights are pretty good.  But this is very much a mid-level Shaw Bros. film.  It’s fine.  It’s watchable.  But there isn’t a lot to make it stand out from the pack.  In the mood, and you haven’t seen this one?  Go for it.  Otherwise, there’s a lot better flicks to see.

    I started watching Masters of Sex.  Three episodes in, and I’m loving it.  Great cast, great story.  I haven’t read the book it’s based on, and I know precious little about Masters & Johnson.  But I’m fascinated, for sure.

Fallen Angels:  The sort of (spiritual) sequel to director Wong Kar Wai’s Chungking Express, Fallen Angles features more manic pixie people, voiceovers, and fisheye cinematography.  While I enjoyed it, and enjoyed the overall vibe of the film a great deal, it never reached the emotional levels of Chungking Express.  It’s OK, and if you’re a fan of the first, it’s worth checking out.  I was a little disappointed to see Karen Mok doing her crazy, screaming, semi-comic performance.  I prefer her serious work, probably because her voice is so grating when she gets wacky.

(6/29/14-7/5/14)

    On Sunday morning, I cracked into Black Science, another sci-fi comic from Rick Remender.  Pretty good stuff.  I’ll be looking forward to the next volume.

MirrorMask:  This was one of those movies where the trailer was popping up forever on rented videos and the like, but which seemed to always be ‘coming soon.’  I don’t know how long it did take to get released in the States, but I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that it was more than a year, maybe two.  It seemed like it, at any rate.  So, when it was finally released, I was pretty excited to see the film…but it isn’t actually very good.  A few interesting ideas and a few interesting visuals pepper a darned boring bit of re-hash kid adventure story.  Echoes of much better movies reverberate through the whole thing.  It’s not a bad movie.  But it’s instantly forgettable.  I remember being very disappointed when I finally saw it for the first time.  This second viewing, many years later, has not changed my initial reaction.

Inkheart:  A watchable and fun, if largely empty kids’ fantasy film, I think Inkheart suffers greatly from coming out during the Harry Potter craze.  Too easy to compare, too easy not to live up.  I imagine I’d have dug the film a good deal as a little lad, but while it’s not something an adult would likely find annoying to watch with their kids, it’s not something an adult is likely to find compelling, either.

Age of Consent:  An artist returns to the homeland of his youth in Australia, where he intends to rediscover his passion for painting.  There he meets a colorful cast of locals, including the desperate to escape Helen Mirren in her film debut.  Considering the sleazy title and the subject matter, this is a surprisingly cute and almost chaste film.  Sure there’s nudity and talk of sex, but it’s not what I was expecting.  Michael Powell was a heck of a director and James Mason is always charismatic.  And you can see why Mirren would go on to be a star.  Not just because of her amazing and oft bare body, but because of a genuine talent and charm.

FDR: American Badass:  The best history film of all time?  Maybe.  Super cheesy, lowest of the low budget, goofy in the extreme, and wonderfully tasteless, American Badass is everything I hoped it would be.  Nazi werewolves giving FDR the polio?  That’s just the beginning.  Must be seen.  Must.

Maleficent:  I like the basic story of this movie, several images, and most of Angelina Jolie’s performance.  The script, however, is horrendous.  The actual dialog that is coming out of the actors’ mouths is like the Disney equivalent of a bad 80s action movie.  Compared to the recent Alice in Wonderland or Oz: the Great and Powerful, this is Citizen Kane.  But the ingredients for a solid, epic fantasy film were all there.  They simply didn’t come together, and that falls largely on the script.  Also, those comic-relief fairies were atrocious and needed to go.  Not just because the CGI on them was awful and terrifying, but because they’d have been annoying whatever the case.

Snowpiercer:  I don’t mind recycling ideas if they’re done well.  This movie has some really good bits, but is overall pretty disappointing.  There are plot twists; but they’re obvious.  There are a couple good action scenes, but a lot of motion-sickness inducing shaky cam, too.  I was so happy when there was an extended slow-motion sequence so I could steady my eyes for a moment and not need to turn away.  Many of the characters feel like they’d be interesting if we spent any time with them, but the movie jumps from one action bit to the next too quickly to give a crap about anyone involved.  Part of the pleasure in this kind of science fiction is the exploration of the strange society that forms in the wake of some tectonic civilization shift.  What is life like in a giant, constantly running train with a severe class-based society, surrounded by a hostile, freezing wasteland?  Interesting question.  Unfortunately the movie spends almost no time on that, throwing a couple quick factoids that are supposed to earn our sympathy and interest.  And then there’s the ever present mystery of the man who runs the train.  What’s he gonna be like?  Oh, boring and obvious.  Nuts.  I don’t want to sound too negative (though I can tell I have).  The movie isn’t bad.  It looks great (when the camera holds still long enough for you to notice).  There are some cool sequences and some cool ideas.  But it could have been much, much better.  Much better.

The Sign of the Cross:  Getting past the historic inaccuracies (the cross wouldn’t be a Christian symbol for almost three centuries), this movie is unfortunately kind of boring.  Oddly enough, the best stuff in this Christian martyr porn is the risqué sexuality.  From the milk bath, to the lesbian dance, to the naked women in the arena, it was the sexuality that kept me from tuning out completely.  It wasn’t the acting or the script, or the cow-eyed dullness of the religious zealotry.  Some cool sets add a bit, but not enough.  Easy to skip this one.

    Friday morning, I read Planetoid and Prophet, two sci-fi comics I’d had sitting around for a while.  I enjoyed both quite a bit.

Doctor Who: The Mind Robber:  Another OK story from the Troughton years.  I like some of the visuals, and a few of the concepts are rather weird.  At the end of the day, this isn’t my type of story.  Yet, they made it work.

    Saturday morning, I watched another disk of Masters of Sex.  Boy howdy, I enjoy this show.  I love the cast.  And a character that felt like she could easily become another Betty Draper (of Mad Men), has turned out to be as compelling as any other on the show.  Bravo.

The Lunchbox:  I found this film fascinating to watch and the characters all charming in their way.  However, I can’t help but notice cultural references flying fast and furious over my head.  India is a place I simply don’t get, and this movie heaps more on the pile of confusion.  Still, the budding correspondence romance between a lonely housewife and a surly office worker is cute.  Irrfan Khan is a charming dude, even when he’s playing a jackass.  The film also makes me want to have some home cooked Indian food.  Some of the stuff in those tins looked really good.

Lonesome:  A movie on the cusp of so much.  It’s a silent film, with some talkie scenes.  It’s black & white, but with some color tinted bits.  Featuring effects and some nice location shooting, the movie works more as a time capsule than as a film.  The story is simple and cute, but fairly forgettable.  But the costumes, the manners, the activities, etc. all sing 1928.  The movie is alive and roaring with that 20s spirit.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (11/24/13-11/30/13)

    While it certainly had nothing on the previous week’s Fantastic Fest, this Week in Dork was still nice.  I read a full book and finally finished another I’d been nearly done with for weeks, got out to see a film, and cranked out a few more Criterions.  Not bad.

Speedway:  Fairly standard Elvis picture.  It’s not bad, and has some good bits.  But it’s not especially memorable.  The songs aren’t great, and the plot feels like it’s already been done in another Elvis movie or two.  There are much better Elvis movies.

Marketa Lazarova:  This movie looks fantastic, and it feels pretty darned medieval.  The people are rough and toothless, brutal monsters suffering by firelight in the bitter cold of snowy darkness.  I had a problem following all the various relationships between characters.  I know there was some kind of pattern in the dealings.  Some folk wanted revenge or something, some people wanted money or crops or whatever.  There was an angry lord.  But who was working for whom, and why, and what they were all doing…I don’t know.  There’s stuff about paganism and Christianity, and the general brutality of men.  But I don’t know what the heck was going on most of the time.  The sound design is extremely weird, and makes the film feel very unreal.  It’s not even ADR, it’s like dialog for a separate film was recorded in an echoing church. (edit: What this review doesn't get across is that I couldn't get the movie out of my head for days, and in the end, I think it was kind of amazing; and I know I'll be watching it again).

Nebraska:  I grew up in ‘small town America.’  With apologies to my friends and family that still live there, it frickin’ sucked.  And this movie captures the awful, petty, depression of the whole thing.  There are scenes I swear I lived through.  I think I knew half these people.  The cast does a fine job, and everyone feels totally right for this sort of thing.  Bruce Dern is excellent, and Will Forte is surprisingly good.  I laughed quite a bit, but admittedly, some of that laughter was from horror.

The Silence:  Hey, do you like feeling good about life?  Well then, don’t watch this.  The third in Ingmar Bergman’s ‘trilogy of faith,’ this haunting story of a couple sisters (…really?) and one’s child staying in a hotel is aesthetically beautiful, and psychologically ugly.  The film cooks with uncomfortable erotisism.  And there are a lot of awkward questions you’ll find yourself asking about who these people are and what their past was like.  And what’s up with the kindly old waiter?  He’s awesome, right?

Design for Living:  A wonderfully kinky comedy from the Good ‘ol Days before the Good ‘ol Days everyone’s always talking about.  This isn’t the chaste, clean-cut comedy of the 40s and 50s, this is sex-charged, full of dry wit and ribaldry.  I sometimes wonder what movies would be like if there hadn’t been the prudish backlash of the 30s through the 50s (and again, if to a lesser degree, in the late 80s through the early 00’s).  Though I would argue that the Hayes Codes forced writers to become much more clever in their dialog, with innuendo and double meanings, movies like this are a reminder that writers were already quite clever before necessity mothered invention.  This film is an absolute must.

Peter Ibbetson:  A weird little kid grows up to be a contrary architect.  He’s stuck on a girl from his youth, and gets into all sorts of trouble over her.  It’s all fairly forgettable melodrama.  Certainly not a movie I need to see again, it’s mostly noteworthy for having Gary Cooper and a young Ida Lupino.  But it’s nothing to work hard at finding.  It’s no classic.

    I finished reading Alan Dean Foster’s Icerigger, which was a very cool classic space opera.  I’ve got to get back into reading more sci-fi.  There are so many books I want to read.

The Blood of a Poet:  OK.  I’ll admit it.  I just didn’t understand this film.  It’s somewhat surreal.  It’s poetic.  But I’ve never been much for poetry.  There’s a lot of stuff that symbolizes …stuff.  I don’t know.  Some of the imagery is cool.  A few sequences are quite nice.  Overall, I’ve got no bloody clue what anything meant.

Resident Evil: Retribution:  Yeah, this is a bad film.  Bad acting, bad dialog, bad effects.  But it’s also a great deal of silly fun.  The series gets more and more odd and convoluted as time goes one.  Elements are written in, then written out with little head for logic or consistency.  But whatever.  Lots of stuff blows up, lots of kicks happen in slow-mo.  It’s great.  And stupid.  And great.

The Time Machine:  “Which three books would you have taken?”  Through random happenstance, I saw this favorite again.  Man, I love this movie.  I remember being somewhat disappointed the first time I saw it, because it missed so much of the book, but getting over myself, I realized it’s a masterpiece.  Awesome lead performance from Rod Taylor, great sets, wildly weird music, and a darned fine story.  And the Morlocks are so creepy and nasty.  So cool.

A Canterbury Tale:  “Facts are always important.”  While the War wears on, some city folk take refuge in a country town and meet the strange folk who live there.  Looking back to the classic literary work, the region around Canterbury becomes a strange sort of Eden where they try to remain sane and safe.  I’m fairly certain I didn’t understand a lot of the WWII related, UK related references.  But the characters are interesting to watch.  The young American soldier reminds me a great deal of David Lynch, with his slightly over-loud mid-westerner voice and ‘aw, shucks’ attitude.  One thing is sure, the film looks beautiful.

Preston Sturges: The Rise and Fall of an American Dreamer:  An interesting documentary about writer/director Preston Sturges, it reminds me once again that the behind the scenes world is and was often as crazy, wild, and character-filled as anything to hit the screens.

    Late Saturday night, I finished a terrifying book, Our Final Invention.  I should have finished it a while back, but I got sidetracked with only like 50 pages left.  Again, it’s really good.  I just got distracted by shiny lights.

-Matt

"Salvation Comes In Many Forms!" - Brendan Fraser Does The King in Pawn Shop Chronicles

A few weeks back I expressed my absolute adoration for Wayne Kramer's Running Scared, and now he's back with Paul Walker in another goofy tale of crime.  This one appears to be heavy on the comedy, but with a cast stacked like this one, you can officially color me excited.  Besides, Brendan Fraser admitting that his influences are the KKK - The King, The King, & The King - has gotta be pure comic gold, right?  Sure, this film has Direct-To-DVD written all over it but I'm hoping for some more weirdo brilliance from Kramer's demented noggin.  And who doesn't like spider neck tattoos?

Comic Review: Almost Silent

    We here at In the Mouth of Dorkness can not get enough of the mad Norwegian comic creator Jason.  Almost Silent is another large anthology, with lots and lots of shorts, and a couple longer stories.  And it’s all kinds of twisted, hysterical, sad, and awkward fun.

    ‘Meow, Baby’ starts things off, and it’s primarily very short bits.  A lot of them feature mummies, vampires, Frankenstein monsters, and Elvis.  All with old-timey looking animal heads.  You know, Jason style!  You know what’s sad?  A vampire that can’t score.  Then gets staked.  That’s sad.  A mummy that feels guilty about masturbating.  That’s sad.  A Frankenstein’s monster doing…well, just about anything.  That’s sad.  Why can’t he just enjoy himself without a crowd of torch bearing peasants out for blood?  And a terminator who isn’t very quick with a comeback.  Sad.  Next up is ‘Tell Me Something,’ which is just a darned depressing story about two couples, murder, and rain.  How does this stuff make me smile, even while making me feel bad?  The third section is ‘You Can’t Get There From Here,’ another story of love among lonely people.  Two hunchbacked henchmen having coffee, an evil scientist, his male creation, and female creation in a love triangle.  And then another female creation…what’s her deal?  Torch bearing peasants, betrayal, kidnapping, and unexpected love.  Wow.  Lastly there’s ‘The Living and the Dead,’ a very, very sad story about love during a zombie apocalypse.  A dishwasher who is trying to save up for a visit with a prostitute manages to save her from flesh eaters, and take her on a run for their lives.  Again, it’s weird to find such awful things so cute and funny, while also finding them melancholic.  But that’s what Jason does.  That’s his gift, I guess.  Mad bastard.

    If you haven’t read Jason before…well, you’re not living your life correctly.  But this isn’t the place to start.  It’s not bad.  If you’ve bought this book already, I’m not saying don’t read it.  But if you haven’t (and you should), I would start with something like ‘The Left Bank Gang’ or ‘I Killed Adolf Hitler.’  Every time I read Jason, I feel good and bad, happy and sad.  I think of old loves, and the ass I’ve made of myself.  I think of all the things I wish I’d said, and all the things I really wish I hadn’t.  But I also think of the bittersweet ecstasy of danger that comes with love.  And sometimes, that’s what I need.  Also, I like seeing Elvis and Godzilla fight.

Almost Silent
Author & Artist: Jason
Publisher: Fantagraphics Books
ISBN: 978-1-606-99315-6

-Matt

Book Review: The Centrist Manifesto

    There was a point where I jokingly called myself an arch-moderate.  I’m an extreme centrist.  I also, only somewhat jokingly said that if you believe strongly enough, one way or another, to declare yourself a Republican or a Democrat, you’re too crazy for me to take seriously.  But this was (is) mostly a manifestation of my growing frustration with the vocal elements of the dominant parties in American politics.  Both are wrong about a great many things; typically the things they’re most vocal in advocating.  And like a great many of my fellow Americans, the childish, short-sighted, and often malicious behavior of our elected officials has become so offensive that I feel like washing my hands of the whole thing.  I have often said that the bottom of each list of candidates should have a box labeled ‘No,’ and if it ‘wins’ the election, everyone on that list is off the ticket and a new group of people must be found.

    Try having a sane political discussion with a vocal party member (doesn’t matter which party) when you believe in the right of a law abiding citizen to own guns, to love whomsoever one might wish (stipulating consenting adults, obviously), that it isn’t the government’s place to decide which chemicals an informed citizen wishes to self-administer, that taxes are a perfectly acceptable part of living in a functioning civilization (and the wealthy should pay them, too), that while abortions are a sign of societal failure, banning them does nothing to address the root problem of unwanted pregnancies, or that while a safety net is financially and morally right, a taxpayer funded free ride for individuals or corporations is financially and morally wrong.  You can bet that by the end of five minutes, either that vocal party member will have branded you a communist (if said debater is a Republican) or a fascist (if that debater is a Democrat), or you will be so brain-hurt by irrationality that you need a stiff drink.  I experienced this very thing when switching jobs a decade ago.  I went from a place where my boss and many clients were very right of center to a place where my boss and co-workers were very left of center.  At both jobs, I was seen as a member of the extreme opposing side.  They were so far from the center that anyone not out there with them must be on the opposite end.  But no.  I was (and am) in the middle.  The place I think most of us live in.  And that’s where Charles Wheelan’s new book, The Centrist Manifesto comes in.  He proposes that the parties have become so extreme and partisan they no longer reflect or serve the nation as a whole.  Both parties have been consumed by their most extreme elements, and consequently turned their back on the things that make America great.  E Pluribus Unum.  A government of, by, and for the people.  A place where hard work gets you a piece of the pie.  A place of equal opportunities for all, if not guarantees.

    Wheelan proposes the formation of a third party (not the first time it’s been done), but unlike the passionate idiocy of the Tea Party or the dangerous naiveté of the Green Party, his proposal is a synthesis of the best elements of our two primaries, along with a heaping dose of good old American practicality, rationality, and compromise.  He identifies those things that are good at the core of the Republican party: their understanding of the market, trade-offs between taxation and regulation, skepticism of government involvement, and individual accountability.  And he identifies those things that are good at the core of the Democratic party: their compassion for the disadvantaged, their understanding that good government is a framework for the free market, not an obstacle, and their passion for the environment with an aim for leaving a better world to future generations.  These are not mutually exclusive ideas, in spite of party rhetoric.  And that’s the idea of the Centrist Party, a party that takes the best of each and creates a synthesis more in tune with the majority of Americans.  This will be a party of hard choices, but reasoned ones.  It will not be a party designed to stoke the ego of fringe elements of our culture, but to balance the wishes of the people with the realities of economics and nature.  Sometimes that will mean tax increases, sometimes it will mean entitlement cuts, often it will mean we gain something and pay something.  There is, as it were, no such thing as a free lunch.  And Americans, especially those on the fringe, seem to have forgotten this very basic fact.  You can’t do away with taxes and still protect the nation from terrorists.  You can’t pay for people who are unwilling to work and maintain a healthy economy.  You can’t dump massive amounts of money into a military-industrial complex then ignore the battered soldiers when they come home, banning things people want (books, guns, drugs, abortions, etc.) creates crime that is nearly impossible to fight.  There needs to be a system of tax funded public works and construction to facilitate a free and open market.  Government is needed to do things like help protect citizens (this must include environmental concerns…IT MUST), while it shouldn’t be involved in what we do in our homes.  It needs to build the infrastructure that allows the free market to do its job.  And the sad, but very true, fact is that the free market does need adult supervision (sensible regulation).  When left to its own devises, without checks and balances, it drives toward disaster rather quickly.

    The chapter Sex and Guns is a fantastic example of how to acknowledge differing, yet fully defensible positions on an issue, and still manage to find common ground and actionable solutions.  He correctly dismisses gay marriage as a non-issue that distracts from substantive discussion.  The desire to ban of same-sex marriage is an indefensible position.  Same-sex couples do no harm (and in fact, more of them being married could help society as a whole), thus the government should not block marriages.  This is another case of the supposedly ‘small government’ Tea Party trying to use government in a way that dramatically oversteps its bounds (something they seem very keen to do).  With that useless talking point out of the way, he takes on abortion and gun control, two topics with very understandable and justifiable points of view on both sides.  I’m not going to go into that in this review, but his very rational exploration of the two issues creates an excellent and palatable way of resolving things.  Sure, not everyone will be happy, but it’s not about everyone being happy, it’s about creating a tenable situation, which is something we do not have at this time.  Nobody (sane) wants guns in the hands of criminals and nobody (sane) thinks abortions are good.  But if the war on drugs has shown us anything, it’s that banning something does not solve a problem.  It actually creates a great deal of new and potentially more dangerous problems.

    The book is a call to action for the vast number of us who have become so fed up with the situation we’ve started to tune out.  That ever increasing number of Americans who do not align themselves with either traditional party.  That growing group of us who think of ourselves as ‘fiscally conservative but socially liberal.’  Those people with libertarian leanings, who still believe a healthy environment is a necessary element in any plan for the future.  And those with liberal leanings, who still believe in personal freedom.  We are the sizable middle ground.  We are the average, the every-day.  Some of us are religious, some not.  Some of us like hunting, fishing, and Elvis; some of us like yogurt, poetry, and the Beatles (some of us like all of the above).  Some of us like apples and oranges.  And a lot of us really do care about America, the future, politics, economics, the environment, and all that.  We’ve simply been alienated by the loud, fractious, and divisive minority of the extreme Left and Right.  Wheelan makes a strong argument for the need to emotionally and intellectually reinvest in our country and for a means to do that.  I, for one, feel invigorated after reading this book.  Like a good political rally, the book sparked my interest and my hope for a brighter future.  So, if you’re one of us, left slack-jawed by the screaming histrionics of Glenn Beck or Michael Moore, left angry and confused by the pointless and self-destructive obstructionism consuming Congress, disillusioned by the ‘us or them,’ hate-thy-neighbor rhetoric of the extremists, or tired of voting for the ‘lesser evil,’ then check out this book.  For the first time in a long time, I feel like maybe I’ll want to vote for someone again, instead of against the other guy.  Wouldn’t that be something?  Gun licensing is not the first step in and Orwellian nightmare; gay marriage is not the fist step to sex with ducks, organic farming will not feed the world’s population, building and maintaining a fortune is not immoral, climate change is not a liberal conspiracy, and wanting to own a gun isn’t compensating for a small penis (all actual arguments I have heard).  If you’ve ever disagreed with people because they were a Republican or because they were a Democrat, and not because of what they said, you’re part of the problem and you need a dose of centrism.  Give this book a read, and welcome back to the world of the sane.

The Centrist Manifesto
Author: Charles Wheelan
Publisher: Norton
ISBN: 978-0-393-34687-9

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (3/10/13-3/16/13)

    I have absolutely NO idea who I managed to fit in so many movies this week, because I was really busy and I know I spent a lot of time not watching movies.  I know I was having trouble sleeping, but that doesn’t add up.  Anyway, considering how danged tired I am and stressed out, it was a pretty good week.

I need a hug, too.

    On Sunday night, I caught Life in the Year 2030 on NPR.  It was dealing with a bunch of stuff I’ve been reading about lately, including autonomous cars.  It also dealt with ‘smart’ clothing that could do more frivolous things like change color, but could also do things like protect people from getting malaria or keep them warm when it’s cold.  And there was stuff about robots.  Can’t wait for robots.

Nemesis:  Oh, Albert Pyun, you terrible, terrible genius.  Pyun is kind of a master of crappy movies.  He embraced cyberpunk like few others, making flicks like this and Cyborg, among others.  His movies get right into the genre, even when they manage to botch all the things that make movies ‘good.’  This film, for example, has an awful script and what seems to be intentionally awful acting you don’t normally see outside of The Asylum or a George Lucas film.  Like, it’s REALLY bad acting.  And not just because poor man’s JCVD Olivier Gruner can’t speak much English.  Most of the cast can, they just don’t.  Not in any natural way, anyway.  But in spite of it all, Nemesis is kind of a blast.  Lots of shoot-outs.  Lots of running around.  Nasty old environments.  Weird characters.  Bad cyborg effects.  Awesome.  There is an interesting question of gender in Pyun’s films.  I don’t know what his thing is, but he features a lot of women who dress like men, men with classically female names and vice versa, and other odd bits (like the female body builder in the three sequels to Nemesis that all have this film’s leading male character’s name with no explanation).  Is he getting at something with it all?  Or like much of his work, is it just random and accidental?  I don’t know.  I don’t really care.  Just something I noticed.  I can’t believe this movie doesn’t have a blu-ray two disk special edition.  I actually had to get a bootleg, recorded form VHS version, because as far as I can find, it has never been put out on DVD (this needs a 2 disk, digitally remastered, unrated director’s cut!).

Double Trouble:  “Seventeen will get me 20.”  It’s not Elvis VS. Elvis like the movie poster implies.  Instead two dames want to get a ride on the E Train, but he’s a busy cat.  Unfortunately, one of them is a touch on the young side and he (rightly) tries to run the other way.  Comic misadventures and a tour of Europe quickly follow.  And all the while, some weird dudes are trying to knock off the young girl.  It’s enjoyable enough, but totally forgettable.  The girls are cute, but not especially captivating.  The songs aren’t up to snuff (it’s bad when the best one is a reworking of Old McDonald’s Farm).  I guess it’s worth a watch, but it’s no classic, that’s for sure.

Lone Wolf and Cub: White Heaven in Hell:  “I hope you go insane with loneliness!”  The final chapter in the series starts out in a snow covered landscape with a Blaxploitation waka-waka guitar setting a crazy tone.  Man, this series is nuts.  A sure fire sign that East and West were doing a heck of a job influencing each other.  The Lone Wolf series is as much Spaghetti Western fantasy as samurai film.  Over the top everything.  Music, acting, blood, and style.  Dropping Night on Bald Mountain into a 70s style rock tune?  Crazy.  Who would have thought, watching the first film, that we would see a massive, James Bond movie type, ski battle raging through the snowy mountains?  Maybe it was inevitable.  It’s a weird ending to the series, and I would say not really a satisfying one.  I’m not sure why it ended here.  Did tickets stop selling?  Did actors want to move on?  Whatever the case, it doesn’t feel finished.  The movie does; the series doesn’t.

The Golden Compass:  “There will always be free thinkers…and heretics.”  You can make dozens of Christian themed movies and not hear a peep, but one movie based book with an atheist bent (the script leaves out 99% of that aspect of the book), and suddenly, Christians are being persecuted, and Hollywood is holding the whip; the End Times are upon us, and movies are a tool of Satan.  It must be exhausting, trying to find more ways to be offended and oppressed.  No wonder religious people tend to be so humorless.  Though visually impressive and well cast, the script sadly misses much of the novel’s better and more interesting elements.  Scientific inquiry in the form of dashing adventurer Asriel (Daniel Craig) battles the stodgy orthodoxy of the Magisterium.   Nichole Kidman plays the diabolic porcelain doll who embodies the hypocrisy and villainy of blind traditionalism.  I’d have liked to see a better adaptation, and I’d certainly have liked it to have been successful enough to see the rest of the books adapted.  If memory serves, the movie also ends early, dropping the book’s climax.  This makes its financial failure all the more frustrating.  Half of me thinks the movie’s PG-13 rating has more to do with the Christian crusade against the film than any content.  In fact, the only reason I could see for any rating stronger than PG is a sequence where a bear gets its jaw punched off.  That’s pretty brutal.  But I don’t think it’s enough.  It’s a PG movie.  Generally fine for the family, if occasionally scary (but no more so than most classic Disney or other family films from before the 90s).  It could be much better, but it’s still a pretty good family friendly fantasy adventure film.

The Thief of Bagdad:  “Fling him to the ape!”  This silent epic starts slow, but becomes quite the effects filled spectacle.  The sets are amazing and some of the effects would have been passable in movies up through the 80s.  The creatures are nuts (underwater spider!) and the stunts are wild.  Douglass Fairbanks is filled with smarmy bravado that is partly charming and partly off-putting.  He just seems like such a jerk in the first part of the film.  But he’s got personality, that’s for sure.  The princess is kind of a dud, but her various servants are more charming and more interesting.  Not the best silent film I’ve seen, by any means.  But it’s very good and entertaining.  Sort of a Summer blockbuster kind of thing.

South Bronx Heroes:  “If I want you to talk, I’ll throw you a peanut.”  Everybody keeps stabbing everybody.  This relentless view of human misery and crime is grueling and pointlessly sad.  Really crappy movie.

The Black 6:  “Hey man.  Watch out for the goat.”  They may be from different football teams, but the Black 6 can agree on their love of motorcycles, and their hatred of jive turkeys.  Six cool dudes ride wherever the wind takes them, being chill and helping out, and enjoying life (most of all, no hassles).  All they want to do, now that they’re back from the ‘Nam, is spread ‘peace and love, brother; peace and love.’  But honkies and crackers are looking to cause trouble.  This is one of the better ultra-low budget blaxploitation films I’ve seen.  It looks to be financially on the level with Brotherhood of Death, but a better film.  There were a few words, I’m assuming racial slurs, that I didn’t get or hadn’t heard before.  That’s something.

The Black Gestapo:  “Afternoon, black gentlemen!”  Either I was in a really, really different place 10 years ago, or I’ve been mistaking this for a different movie.  ‘Cause a) I thought I disliked it, but I have no idea how that could be true and b) I didn’t remember any of it.  So, I’m guessing I was just wrong about having seen it, and I’m glad that’s been rectified.  It’s crazy over the top.  Great bad dialog.  The characters are weird and extreme, from the wild-eyed Che wannabe second in command who puts together a cracker-killing death squad, to the laidback, sunglass wearing, racist crook, to the semi-gay crime lord.  And the ending.  Dang, man.  So glad I watched this (again?).

Velvet Smooth:  “Later, Papa.”  Oh, man.  This is LOW budget.  Bad writing, worse acting, horrifying clothes, porn sets, crappy music.  Charming.  There are a lot of extended, not especially inspiring martial arts fights.  The kind where people probably got hurt, because they weren’t choreographed very well.  I was reminded of some of the stuff from Black Dynamite.  I love when the you can see the recording microphone aimed at the actors from below the camera.  It adds a little something to conversations to have a white tube pointing at whoever’s talking.  This is also the second movie in a row (the first was Black Gestapo) to feature a friendly fire, accidental throat-cutting by one bad guy against another.  That’s odd.  The finale is pretty good.  But again, this is bargain basement.  Kind of like if the crew behind Land of the Lost decided to do a blaxploitation film.

Disciple of Death:  “No doubt, we all shall meet again… …In HELL!”  This Hammer wannabe fails on every level, except to produce a few unintentional laughs.  The villain is so hammy, the rest of the cast so amateurish, and the almost rap like way the music is mixed, it’s hard to do anything but laugh.  It’s like the UK equivalent of Ed Wood saw a random Hammer film and said, ‘I can do that!’  He was wrong.

Doctor Who: Time & the Rani:  Ugh.  An inauspicious beginning to Sylvester McCoy’s tenure.  Lots of clowning, Mel, the Rani pretending to be Mel (terrifying), goofy green bird people, that new ultra-electronica opening music.  With Colin Baker, I think they were trying to recapture some of Tom Baker’s style.  With McCoy, I think they were trying to go for something of a Patrick Troughton thing; more the loveable vagabond clown, less the slightly mad trickster.  Man, I wish Mel could have spent more time screeching like an injured bird.  ‘Cause that isn’t terribly annoying.  Ace can’t get here soon enough.  And while I think the Rani was conceptually interesting, like the Master, she ends up being so foppishly, scenery-chewingly evil as to be more silly than scary or cool.  The bat creatures had potential, but they don’t work.  I think if I were a BBC exec, watching this story, I’d be thinking about cancellation, too.  I’ll say this about the episode.  Some of the effects, especially some of the composite images, where models are combined with live action, are pretty good, and show some of the places effects could have gone, if the show weren’t so close to its end.  The CG animated opening featured ground breaking technique, but I don’t like it very much.

Silent Hill: Revelation:  “I know the Darkness is coming.”  I’ve been saying for months that the entire reason this project even happened is that someone realized Sean Bean lived through the first film, and that could not stand.  I’m probably one of like 8 people who actually enjoyed the first Silent Hill, and I was very surprised they even bothered to do a second.  I’ll give ‘em this, they don’t screw around waiting to get into the action.  It’s pretty balls-out weird from the beginning.  And everything is sort of taken for granted.  Not a lot of effort trying to explain why reality is broken, or what there are monsters or what have you.  It reminds me of the Hellraiser films, especially the more mind-messing Hellraiser II and the later Nightmare on Elm St. films.  In fact, the whole movie felt very 80s.  It’s really strange.  So, does Sean Bean manage to slip through the cracks again and defy the odds by surviving?  I’ll never tell.  Is the end of the movie a bit of a cop-out?  Yes.  But I enjoyed it far, far more than I expected.

    Thursday night took me away from my comfort zone when I visited with friends Paul and Sarah, and got to hold their new baby, Joseph (totally named that because it’s my middle name…totally).  I haven’t been around kids very much, even when I was one, babies even less.  And, it’s true, I have a lump of coal running my body instead of the more traditional blood pumping muscle known by some as the heart.  Still, it’s a danged cute baby.  His rubber face makes some fantastic expressions.  I can’t imagine the soulless little monster I’d spawn.  Handsome, sure.  But that Thomas Ripley sort of handsome.

    Friday night was the latest meeting of the Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club, where this month’s selection was the hard cover collection Blacksad.  It was an odd meeting, as I think it was the first time everyone was pretty much on the same page.  Everyone liked it.  Everyone liked the art.  We basically just talked a lot about the various things we liked about it.  And there was some question of why fish would still be animals in a world populated by anthropomorphized animals.  A good meeting.  Just oddly agreeable.

Monster X Strikes Back: “‘Guilala hot cakes’ are selling like hot cakes.”  Attack at the G8 Summit:  Super goof-tastic, I guess this is a satire.  A giant monster from space (‘cause of those dang Chinese!) attacks the G8 Summit, and with the instigation of the American president, all the world leaders decide not to run, but to stand and fight.  Ace reporter Sumire, of Tokyo Sports Daily is gonna get a scoop.  Each daring and well thought out plan that somehow manages to fail, leads to more comic weirdness.  Usually I’m not a fan of non-English comedy because I miss too many cultural references and what is funny is lost on me.  I think I get most of the jokes in this movie…they’re just not that funny.  The inspirational, worshipful dance is very impressive, though.  I assume everyone will be doing it someday.  And I have to admit that I saw some things I never thought I would, like a giant kaiju god sodomized by a nuclear missile.  That was something.  I can only speak to the English speaking actors, but dang, they’re bad.  I assume the Russian, German, French, etc. are on par.  Though the Russian guy seems like he might actually be an actor.  It seems pretty clear the casting call went out for any Western actors they could find.  Heck, the UK rep has an American accent.  But holy smokes; almost every woman in the movie is either super cute, or smokin’ hot.  The array of translators?  Yowzah.

Lady Snowblood:   On a cold winter night, a baby is born; a mother dies.  Thus opens Lady Snowblood, another Japanese samurai-type film about vengeance, betrayal and murder.  20 years later, that baby is a beautiful woman with a sword in her umbrella, killing her way to satisfaction.  Welcome to Japan in the 1890s.  Another blood-soaked film in the tradition of the Zatoichi and Lone Wolf and Cub movies.  It too features some strange uses of music that gives it a fascinating vibe, even when the film itself isn’t amazing.

Doctor Who: Paradise Towers:  “Hail Pex.”  Sylvester McCoy is considerably less annoying in this story.  Mel is just as annoying as ever.  The super-80s, 2000 AD/Judge Dredd nightmare future world is weird fun.  Episodes like this are so off the wall.  Lots of creepy and strange characters, garish colors, disturbing behavior.  The two old ladies…Yikes.  Pex.  Pex, man.  If only he could have joined the Doctor.  Pex and Ace would have made one serious badass pair of companions.  Look out Daleks.  I really enjoy the set design.  I mean, it’s super simple, but effective.  This is just all around a better story than the first.  The guest cast in this one is quite good.  The DVD features an alternate score which was dropped and given to a different composer.  Frankly, I kind of prefer this alternate, original version.  It was interesting that the writer for this arc was in part inspired by the J.G. Ballard novel High Rise.  That is a novel I became aware of through a book about cities in science fiction, and took me years to track down (I don’t think it was even printed Stateside until recently).  When I’d read the original description of the book, I’d been reminded of some stuff from my youth, including this very Doctor Who story.

Black Pearl (aka 10,000 A.D.: The Legend of the Black Pearl):  “When you are feeling most lost and disheartened, smoke this.” Even if our world ends, society collapses, and eight thousand years pass, I don’t think dreadlocks or tongue and eyebrow piercing on a skinny white dude will ever be acceptable.  Though the fact that the movie opens on our Burning Man cast-off getting the crap kicked out of him, only to be saved by a Veronica Mars look alike makes more sense.  Brad Pitt wannabe hippie-warrior Jesus seems to spend his life a day late and a dollar short.  Maybe he should try washing his hair.  My hat is off to the people who made this movie.  It’s beautifully shot and goes for it, balls out, heart exposed.  And it absolutely looks silly as hell a lot of the time.  Hippie, New Age, martial arts, Native American, Hawaiian (?), and mumbo-jumbo of every sort.  But it doesn’t mess around with trying to be mainstream or approachable.  This film has more heart in it than a dozen big budget films.  Sadly, it doesn’t have any more brain.  It’s kind of like a whole movie set in that nasty future from Cloud Atlas, or some post-Fall science fiction setting from the 60s, but filtered through a couple New Age books with crystals and dreamcatchers and paintings of wolves.  I don’t know who I would suggest this film to.  I’m sure there are people who would like it, but I only have one person in all my circle of friends to whom I’m going to recommend it.

Cowboys and Aliens:  “What kind of man goes around blowing up another man’s cows?”  Science fiction has had a long tradition of mixing with the Western.  Singing cowboys have traveled to the center of the Earth; rustlers have captured T-rexes; and they’ve all gotten mixed up in time travel too many times to count.  Not to mention how many times they’ve been exported to other planets.  This time, an amnesiac, an ornery old cattle man, a bar tender, a mysterious woman, a Native chief and a bunch of others are set upon by kidnapping, gold loving aliens, and they aren’t gonna take it sitting down.  Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford are perfect Western actors, handsome but grizzled with steely stares and barely checked rage.  The aliens are weird, the effects pretty good, and the action well handled.  It is an unabashed mix of sci-fi action and classic western.  And Olivia Wilde…Dang.  She’s weird looking, but in the best way.  Is this an amazing, world changing movie?  No.  But it’s solid entertainment.  Harrison Ford should be in more Westerns.

    My landlord installed a new fireplace thingy, so for the first time ever, I’ve got a working fireplace, which is fun.  I’ve found that I suck at fire.  Still, it’s cool to have.  And as this winter doesn’t seem to want to let go (I think it’s usually in the 60s or more by this time here, but the 30s and 40s won’t stop), it’s nice to have options.

-Matt