A Fistful of The Maligned! (Brad's Picks)

Oh January.  What a wonderful dumping ground you are.  The Awards Season is over.  The Oscar Nominations have been picked.  Goodbye 12 Years A Slave, hello The Legend of Hercules.  For most moviegoers this is a time for catchup, snatching the good word of Lone Survivor, Frozen, The Wolf of Wall Street, and American Hustle.  But we here at ITMOD dream of the great bad movie, or the next forgotten misunderstood gem.  Sure, Renny Harlin specializes in write-off trash these days, but as you'll see below, he's ticked off a fun film or two in his time.  Maybe his baby face Hercules will ascend to the art of high camp.  Or what about this Jack Ryan fellow?  Or Aaron Eckhart's sexy stick fighting Frankenstein?  Look - these are long shots.  But gold has struck in January.  Remember The Grey, or Doomsday, or Rambo.

And I love to play contrarian.  The Great Defender.  While the world championed the arty ennui of Frances Ha, I was going to bat for the offensively weird The Lone Ranger.  I don't think you can really call yourself a movie fan unless you've encountered and battled for the underdog.  But in the batshit trenches of the Internet you can find fellow weirdos, and suddenly distributers like Shout Factory start producing Special Editions of Halloween III and Tank Girl.  When putting together my own list of Favorite (Unfairly) Maligned films I found it difficult to choose older films - the problem being that given enough time even the most hated films find their fanbase.  So who knows what popularity the films below will find in the future; all I can tell you is that when friends hear of my enthusiasm for these flicks a quizzical look crosses their face.  My co-dork Matt joins me for some of these, but no matter how hard I try he can't bring himself to understand the films in slots 3 & 1.  I'm gonna break him one of these days.

5.  Your Highness:  I'm generally not a fan of pothead humor.  I've never smoked a joint in my life.  And the glorification of weed and booze irritates the hell outta me.  I'm a regular L7 (after all, I just used L7).  But dammit, I can't help myself when it comes the stupidity of Danny McBride, Seth Rogen, and James Franco.  Mixing their brand of idiocy with the absurdity of the Deathstalker genre ignites a childish glee within.  Teaming the foul sloth McBride with Franco's Prince Charming in a latex heavy quest through mushroom wizards, wood nymphs, and minotaurs?  Hell yes, that is hilarious.

4.  Knight and Day:  Released not to long after the couch jump incident, when the world turned against the smiling scientologist, Knight and Day is an inexplicably titled action romance from journeyman director James Mangold that tickled all my right fancies.  Tom Cruise is utterly bonkers here, his Ethan Hunt persona cranked up to 11 and it's both terrifying & appealing to Cameron Diaz's bored bridesmaid.  Their flirtation is adorable - a genuinely cute middle aged couple, something you do not often find in cinema these days and certainly not found within the action genre.  The challenge for you is to separate celebrity from the movies - tear up your US Weeklys, your People Magazines, set yourself free and rediscover your love of fiction.

3.  Die Hard 2 - Die Harder:  "Another basement, another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?"  Look, I'm not going to try and tell you that Die Harder is superior to Die Hard.  That's just foolish.  But Die Harder is a fascinatingly bizarre upping of the ante.  The film is filled with scenery devouring performances from a variety of familiar faces: William Sadler, Franco Nero, Dennis Franz, Fred Thompson, William Atherton, John Amos, Robert Patrick, Tom Bower, Art Evans.  Director Renny Harlin pushes the violence to extremes with blood splattered massacres, throat slicings, and icicle impalements.  There are not two lines of dialog without at least one juicy F Bomb.  Classy?  No.  But the sequel earns its "er" for sure.  Dumb and goofy, I love it.

2.  The Ladykillers:  Filmed directly after a true abomination (Intolerable Cruelty), but before their critical renaissance (No Country For Old Men), Joel & Ethan Coen chose to transplant an Ealing Classic to the American South.  They picked Tom Hanks for their ringleader and it's a shoot-for-the-moon performance not seen from the Oscar Winner since the early days of The Money Pit.  People tell me its not funny.  I don't get this.  I bust my gut laughing every time I watch another weirdo crook attempt old lady homicide.  The Ladykillers is not Fargo.  I see similarities to the comedy on display in Raising Arizona and The Hudsucker Proxy, but at the end of the day it's a feast of caricature.  You either accept that or you rewatch The Big Lebowski for the 100th time.

1.  Domino:  After years of photographic experimentation, Tony Scott took all his hand crank tricks, his splicing magic, his saturation pallet, and set fire to subtlety.  The "Based on True Events" screenplay doctored by Donnie Darko's Richard Kelly is an absurd assault on Reality Television and our celebrity obsessed culture.  Kiera Knightley gets pornographic with her posh accent, joining forces with the toeless Mickey Rourke, and showing Brian Austen Green & Ian Ziering how a true Beverly Hills diva throws a tantrum.  It involves nunchucks, machine guns, and lapdances.  There can't be a shot in this film that doesn't last more than half a second, but if you can train your brain to keep up, then Domino offers a sensory barrage like none other.  One of my absolute favorite films of the last ten years.

--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (12/29/13-1/4/14)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  That feels good.  2013 was a gas, but I'm quite pleased to be through the Holiday Hoopla, and I'm looking forward to devoting more attention to the blog.  Most of this week was concerned with formulating my Favorite Films of the year as well as the rest of the Dorkies.  As I stated there, 2013 ended up being one of my favorites as far as the Pop Culture scene was concerned.  Nicholas Winding Refn cranked out his best film yet (Only God Forgives), Martin Scorsese proved that no matter how hard they try (American Hustle) there is still only one guy right for the job (The Wolf of Wall Street), and the more I think on it, Edgar Wright's latest (The World's End) slowly eeks its way to the top of the Cornetto Trilogy.

Not to mention, this year I actually witnessed Martin Scorsese deliver his Jefferson Lecture "The Persistence of Vision," I sat in the front row of Hall H where Samuel L Jackson actually stared me down, saw the 4K Restoration of Lawrence of Arabia at the AFI Silver, met Peter Tork, discovered the surreal genius of Keoma, and won a Tyler Stout Mondo Print signed by Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, & Edgar Wright at the Cornetto Trilogy Screening of The Alamo Drafthouse, which in turn has become my new home away from home.  Yeah, I should say that's a pretty good year.

Jaime Foxx Does Django For Spidey (I Took This Photo!!!)

I'm pretty gosh darn excited by the prospect of the new year.  How can 2014 top 2013?  Dunno, but I can't wait to find out.  This particular week in transition began with another bit of cinematic shame finally getting checked off my Resolution list - Singin' in the Rain.  How had I never seen this before?  Not sure.  I was just never much of a musical kid; I'm happy to report that I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The last film I saw in the theater in 2013 was David Fincher's Zodiac (again, at The Alamo Drafthouse).  One of my all time favorite films, I was a bit bummed that co-dork Matt doesn't seem to quite "get it."  My first film of the new year was Man of Steel, the rewatch was prompted by a conversation I had with my brother-in-law at our annual New Year's Party.  So much to love, so much to hate.  But the first film I saw theatrically of the New Year was Saving Mr. Banks.  I enjoyed it, but certainly not as much as The Wife.  She got all filled with emotions with this Marry Poppins lovefest.

I also got off my duff and finally got back into Sweet Tooth comics.  Apart from our Graphic Novel Book Club (aka The Ultimate Justice League of Extraordinary Graphic Novel Book Club), I feel like I've been neglecting the comic book medium lately.  Sure, I hit up Big Planet Comics every week, but I've got a massive stack of graphic novels I need to work my way through.  There's a New Year's Resolution for sure.  Not to mention the fact that I've left both my Scorsese-A-Thon & John Carpenter-A-Thons hanging.  Gotta find my Elvis dvd or simply buy another one.  As far as why I haven't watched New York Stories yet.....it looks dull....but Goodfellas follows that so there are no excuses.  Anyway, let's get on with the mini-reviews shall we?

P.S. I'm growing a beard!

Singin' In The Rain:  "You're nothing but a shadow on film."  I honestly had no idea what this movie was about.  I knew there was rain in it.  I knew there was singing.  Some sorta romance.  And yep, all those things are there.  But I was kinda flabbergasted to discover that the backdrop for the film was the transition from the Silent Era into the Talkies.  That must sound silly to all you die-hards out there, but once the Hollywood biography started to get hashed, my interest immediately perked up.  Sure, the big song & dance numbers are fantastic.  Gene Kelly is great, but I was even more enamored with Donald O'Connor's sidekick character - the "Make 'Em Laugh" number is joyous, but it also has a nice bit of biting truth to it.  What's the next Golden Era Musical I have to hit?  Yankee Doodle Dandy?  Show Boat?  Guys And Dolls?  Certainly The Jazz Singer.  A whole genre of film missing from my brain.  Maybe that's my great quest of 2014.

Pain & Gain:  This was mostly background noise while I worked on this year's Dorkies.  But what beautiful background noise!  Finally all of Michael Bay's weird, misogynistic, homophobic, mocking humor makes all the sense in the world.  A "True Film" about a trilogy of dumbbells committing heinous acts in the pursuit of The American Dream.  It's a hilarious watch, and a rather painful one if you think too deeply into the real events that inspired this idiocracy.  The Rock gives his single greatest performance so far, but Mark Wahlberg should get some serious recognition as well.  No one can do moronic earnestness quite like this guy.  And I still argue that it has as much to say about our deeply flawed Nation as Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street.

Keoma:  If I could grow Keoma's beard I most certainly would.  Franco Nero is a wild man native returned home after the cataclysmic conclusion of the Civil War.  A group of bandits (a perfect collection of pricks one can only see in Spaghetti Westerns) have staked claim over the land, and it's up to Nero & Woody Strode to slaughter their hateful asses.  The plot is straightforward, but it's telling is so wonderfully dreamy thanks to its slow-mo gunsmoke ballets, the constant guttural caws of the score, and Keoma's metaphorical ability to walk in & out of his past.   When people think of Italy's contribution to the West they think The Good, The Bad, & The Eastwood.  If they reach a little beyond that then maybe they think of Sergio Corbucci or Django.  But for my money, the niftiest entry of the sub-genre is Enzo Castellari's Keoma.  Is it my favorite?  Tough call...The Great Silence is sooooo beautifully ugly...but give me three or four more rewatches of this Weird Western and Keoma might very well land on the top.

Haywire:  Steven Soderbergh is a fascinating animal.  He burst onto the scene with a Sundance Classic (Sex, Lies, & Videotape) that absolutely revolutionized Hollywood and paved the way for indie darlings like Quentin Tarantino, then Sophomore Slumped for a series of films (Kafka, King of the Hill, The Underneath, Schizopolis), knocked one out of the park (Out of Sight) creating a megacelebrity (George Clooney), crafted a brilliant love letter to John Boorman (The Limey), floundered with Oscar Bait (Erin Brokovich, Traffic), made bank on Blockbusters (The Oceans Trilogy), drowned in drivel (Full Frontal, Bubble, The Good German, Che, The Girlfriend Experience), and found new life in his final series of weirdo genre pictures (The Informant!, Contagion, Magic Mike, Haywire, Side Effects).  Has there ever been a career with more peeks or valleys?  Of his last batch, The Informant! is probably my intellectual favorite, but the one I watch the most is Haywire.  I mean - Wow! - that Fight-to-the-Death hotel room brawl between Gina Carano & Michael Fassbender is AWEsome!  Possibly my favorite asskicking this side of They Live.  The rest of the film is good too, but that Fassbender beatdown....that's some real movie magic.  I wish Soderbergh all the best in TV Land, but I doubt he'll stay there for long.  The Silver Screen will call you again sir.  Whatever type of picture you decide to make should certainly prove interesting.

Zodiac:  My favorite film of the last 13 years.  This fact seems to baffle Matt.  He just keeps saying "it sure is 3 hours long."  I tell him it's the best police procedural of all time, he says he preferred The Silence of the Lambs.  I'v been thinking about this.  I too love The Silence of the Lambs.  Great movie. Duh.  But it's not really a procedural, is it?  I think what elevates Zodiac so high in my pantheon of All Time Favorite Movies is how meticulous the film is with the investigation - and the obsession born from it in Robert Graysmith.  There are no real answers here, but Graysmith has to hunt them down.  He sacrifices family for the Zodiac.  He might even fool himself in the process.  It's tragic.  It's ultimately pointless.  And David Fincher perfects his clinical eye with this film, and it's never been more suited for a subject.

Man of Steel:  2013 marked the 75th anniversary of Superman.  A milestone for capes & spandex.  But he's never been a character I've really gravitated towards.  I guess I enjoyed the Christopher Reeve films as much as any kid my age, but when I rewatched them earlier this year they didn't have the same shine I once remembered.  Reeve himself is astonishing as the character.  It's a great performance.  But there's plenty of room for improvement as far as the script and side characters are concerned.  I thought Bryan Singer's love poem, Superman Returns was fairly fun if not utterly forgettable, and I was soooooo ready for Zach Snyder to add a little freeze-frame punch to the franchise.  I am, after all, not a Snyder-hater (yes, yes, yes, Sucker Punch sucked).  What I love about Man of Steel:  Russell Crowe's Jor-El & his holo-ghost, Pa Kent's barnyard revelation to young Clark, Amy Adams's plucky newswoman, and the Metropolis Holocaust (yep, two gods meet in an American City...we are fucked). What I hate about Man of Steel:  Pa Kent's utter fear for his son culminating in his final act, Michael Shannon's Screaming Zod, the kissy face in a crater of human ash, and the neck break.  I could probably handle most of my beef if not for Pa Kent.  His parenting seems all wrong for the character.  That being said, there is enough here for me to enjoy the film for years to come.  I can't really say I'm stoked for Batman vs Superman, but I'm certainly curious to see what they cook up, and how all these icons are going to fit with each other.  But if you really want to get to the heart of the Man of Steel, and you've always had trouble like me, then please read Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's All-Star Superman.  It's a beautiful depiction of Supes as well as that Golden Age of Comics.

Furious 6:  Not the Action-Packed Roller Coaster Revelation that was Fast Five, this film still manages to pack more fun into car crashes than it has any right.  Frankly, I'm still just shocked at how much of a fan I've become of this franchise.  It wasn't too long ago that I was mocking the first film and downright being a jerk towards 2 Fast 2 Furious.  Now it's 2014, Paul Walker died tragically, and I'm desperately awaiting word on how they'll honor him in Fast Seven.  This series is a goof.  A lark.  But there is something so absolutely charming about the intensity in which they support the notion of family.  We all might be thieves and gunrunners, but we love each other and we know how to crack a skull when we have to.  Fast Five took the franchise into the realm of the unreal, and Furious 6 practically throws a cape over The Rock while he's tossing thugs across rooms.  Don't fool yourself.  This is the very best of Comic Book Cinema.

Saving Mr. Banks:  "The Mouse is Family."  I was a little nervous going into this one.  A friend shot me a link to Harlan Ellison's latest rant, and his tirade nearly brought me into a frenzy against The Disney Machine.  How dare they purport PL Travers's complacency for Mary Poppins when she most certainly did not appreciate the adaptation.  And maybe this film doesn't go into her eventual contempt for the film, but it also doesn't reveal her to be joyous either.  This is a nifty, surface level exploration of  the writing process, and the romance one can have with their creation.  Emma Thompson starts this film as a shrill, nearly psychotic "Writer" battling it out with the Keeper of Dreams, Walt Disney.  A cynic could easily tear this film apart.  But there were several moments in the movie where I thought it understood and appreciated PL Travers's preciousness for her character.  One scene (where musical & biography collide) that nearly brought me to tears in my seat.  Is it the best film of 2013?  No.  Not even close.  But I imagine if you (like my wife) already have great affinity for the Disney Film then you'll just adore Saving Mr. Banks.  And when is Harlan Ellison not ranting? - don't sue me!

MST3K - I Accuse My Parents:  "Can I interest you in a size of ME?"  For the new year, The Wife & I have committed to watching as many episodes of Mystery Science Theater as we can.  When I hear Joel, Tom Servo, and Crooooooow snicker and jeer their way through some shoddy movie it immediately takes me back in time.  I'm 12 years old, it's way past my bedtime, and I'm snorting up a bowl of CT Crunch as The Killer Shrews shuffle about my tv screen.  Ah...bliss.  I Accuse My Parents is one of those terrible cautionary tales in which a teenage shoe salesman goes on a kill crazy rampage because his mom was a drunk.  Boo hoo, kid, it's tough all over.  Good jokes, but also not the finest hour for the Gizmonic Institute.  Looking forward to the next one.

Sweet Tooth Volumes 3-5 by Jeff Lemire:  My goodness, these are some wonderfully sad comics.  Volume 2 left poor Sweet Tooth in the hands of some diabolical scientists, and Volume 3 picks up with Mr Jeppard marching to the rescue before Doctor Singh can gut the deer boy open, and dissect just how these hybrids avoid The Sickness.  I enjoyed the first few chapters of this series, but once Jeff Lemire gets these guys out of the camps and on the road of discovery, the saga really begins to take shape.  What is Sweet Tooth?  A man made creation or some ancient god of the earth?  I don't know, but I'm betting whatever the answer it's a depressing one.  Not for the faint of heart...or the squeamish, Sweet Tooth is an apocalypse story drowning in dread.  And I love it.  One trade to go, should be done in a few days.

Drew - The Man Behind The Poster:  If you're in your mid-30s and you love movies then you love Drew Struzan.  The premiere illustrator who birthed countless posters for such films as Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, Back to the Future, Harry Potter, Masters of the Universe, and Police Academy.  I've been collecting his work since I was fourteen.  Behind every framed poster in my house, you can probably find a Struzan buried behind whatever current obsession.  This is a typical talking-heads documentary, but I was pleased to discover how in-depth it goes into some of his creations.  And I certainly appreciated hearing the praise coming from such icons as George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Michael J Fox, Ken Kelly, and Steve Guttenberg.  Harrison Ford at the junket, though?  That's awkward.  It's currently on Netflix Streaming, give it a whirl.

--Brad

Dork Art: Toy Shining!

Ok, ok.  So remember just one post back how I bemoaned that there are so many dork mashups out there that they all start to blur together.  Well, here's one more for you and it just might be the most horrifyingly mesmerizing yet - artist Kyle Lambert has seen into the abyss and it's a dark mixture of classic Pixar & Stanley Kubrick.  Seeing Woody in the role of Jack Torrence is truly disgusting, but I can't look away.  Just wow.  Thanks to Crome Yellow for the assist.

--Brad

"They're Not Here To Fish!" - Tom Hanks Prepares For War in Captain Phillips

Bourne Supremacy/Ultimatum helmsman, Paul Greengrass has found his next intensely violent true story to adapt.  In 2009 a group of Somali Pirates boarded the Maersk Alabama and held them captive for several days until US troops led a successful rescue.  I'm not sure what I think of Tom Hanks' accent, but I'm excited to see him given the opportunity to play tough.  The last bit in the trailer when the knife flips open gave me chills.  Add this to my anticipation list for the fall film schedule.



--Brad

Brad's Week in Dork! (8/19/12-8/25/12)

This was a damn fun Week in Dork.  Well...besides coming down with a nasty case of the retail plague.  But the plague allowed for some serious downtime in the apartment where I consumed a crap ton of movies, TV, and comics.  Win!  I finally jumped into the reverse Coen Brothers marathon I'd been planning for the last couple of months and I'm having a blast going back in time with these twisted siblings.  And if push came to shove, I would have to go with the Coens as my favorite directors on the planet, and so far I can only think of one film of theirs that I really just have no time for...scroll down to find out which one.

Doing the marathon in reverse order has been a blast too.  After The Man Who Wasn't There in 2001 there was this period in time where people thought (me included) that The Coens were winding down.  Then 2007 brought No Country For Old Men, their most unique film to date, and a new era in Coen cinema was born.  Burn After Reading, A Serious Man, True Grit.  I love every damn one of these movies; each one has made my Top Ten lists for their prospective years.  I managed to pack in the last 12 years this week, and I'm racing to get to Blood Simple.

And thanks to Matt and cineAWESOME! (their Jesse Stone eps, actually), I'm a full blown Magnum PI addict.  I whipped through the first season in record time and I'm stunned that The Wife & I still managed to conclude the second season of Deep Space Nine as well.  People ask me how I consume all this dorkery and sometimes I'm flabbergasted by my ability to do so as well.  Seriously, what the hell?  Did I create more hours in the day this week.  Certainly appears so.

TV OF THE WEEK!

Magnum PI - Season One:  I grew up with this show.  Magnum PI, The A Team, Knight Rider, and Simon & Simon.  You want to understand the 1980s than you watch these shows.  Tom Selleck is so damn charismatic as the Vietnam Vet turned Hawaiian Private Dick Playboy.  Five minutes into this show and I was mancrushing all over the place.  I'm not afraid to admit it.  Men want to be Tom Magnum and women want to be with Tom Magnum.  He's the king of mustache cool.  Sure, there's not much to the show.  Magnum gets a case.  There's a guest star (Ian McShane!  Ted Danson!).  He solves the case.  But it's soooooooooo much goofy fun.  We're having a Halloween party this year and I definitely have my costume already picked out...just need to find a Detroit Tigers ballcap.

Star Trek - Deep Space Nine Season Two:  The show is still finding its ground in the second season, but the Cardassian/Bajor relations get more interesting thanks to Andy Robinson's devious Garak and Nurse Ratchet's heinous Vedak vile.  The series also gets a couple of highlights thanks to an Odo flashback, Bernie Casey's Marquis baddie, and the re-introduction of the Mirror, Mirror universe.  And season 2 climaxes with the introduction of the Dominion foot soldiers, The Jem'Hadar and the promise of greater future conflicts.  Season 3 is where the show really finds its legs and I cannot wait for Sisko to loose his hair.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Red:  Had to follow up last week's Expendables birthday bash with more nostalgic gunplay.  Red is a joyous PG-13 Audience Approved Action picture with the added bonus cast of adorable Grumpy Old Men. Seriously, I just wanted to snatch up John Malkovich's LSD burn-out machine gun enthusiast like a weepy eyed puppy and squeeze him to death! "Poop On That!" indeed. But besides big boys like Malkovich, Willis, Freeman, and Miran you've got great little turns from classics like Ernest Borgnine, Richard Dryfuss, Brian Cox, and even James Remar (for about 3 seconds). And yes, the sanitized not-R violence was handled well providing a surprisingly intense MTV-cutty roustabout between Willis and Karl Urban. So, if you can handle the cuteness and the silly than you will have plenty of fun with Red.  I'm ready for the sequel.

The Sitter:  "Make Love To The Night!" Damn. I laughed too much at this raunchy Adventures in Babysitting remake. Jonah Hill is left in charge of three psychotic pre teens who do their darndest to prevent the oversexed loser from scoring coke from Sam Rockwell's muscle enthusiast and bagging skanky Ari Graynor. The Sitter is probably primed to leave my mind thirty seconds after writing this paragraph but it produced several good bellylaughs during its hour and twenty minutes of time killer.

True Grit:  Forget the original, the Coen Brothers have delivered an instant Western classic in their adaptation of the Charlie Portis novel. Jeff Bridges is a nasty, disgusting beast of a marshal and if his lack of sobriety gives young, vengeful Mattie Ross any pause, his wicked trigger finger sates her bloodlust. Matt Damon is the real surprise as cock-of-the-walk Texas Ranger LaBoeuf and his teethy bickerings with Bridges' Rooster Cogburn provide many of the films quotable guffaws. Rounding out the cast are a plethora of ugly brutes, most notably troglodyte Josh Brolin and the spitty Barry Pepper. But let's not forget the gorgeous cinematography from Roger Deakins or the mythic score from Carter Burwell.  True Grit belongs right to the top of the Coen's masterful CV.

A Serious Man:  "This Man Bothering You?" A brutally hilarious modernization of the destruction of Job, Michael Stuhlbarg delivers one of the great modern performances as the doomed physics professor suffering life's hateful treasures. Few films have had me aching with laughter like A Serious Man and I don't know if I should feel ashamed or commended for being in on The Coen Brothers' beautiful joke. Strangely (or maybe not), I think this would make a perfect companion film to The Big Lebowski--that other visual feast detailing a Dante-esque decent into the hell of stupidity and frustration.

Burn After Reading:  "I thought you might be worried about the security of your shit." This is kinda the demented cousin to Ocean's 11. Just like A Serious Man, Burn After Reading chronicles the horrors of humanity but with a more vulgar Marx Brothers kind of lunacy. Frances McDormand's plastic surgery obsessed hardbody gets in way over her head after she discovers the unpublished memoirs of John Malkovich's blathering memoir. She and the ipod jacked Brad Pitt might see money to be made, but there's nothing to be found in this scheme but eye popping dildos and axe chopped foreheads. Burn After Reading seemed to be quickly forgotten but if yer as twisted as I am than you might discover the most quotable film in The Coen Brothers cannon.  "I KNOW WHO YOU ARE FUCKER!"

No Country For Old Men:  A deeply dark and depressing Western Noir that brilliantly and frustratingly thumbs it's nose at the conventions of both genres; No Country For Old Men only gets better with multiple viewings. A chase picture that sees Javier Bardem's demonic hitman tracking Josh Brolin's happenstance cowboy with an exhausted Tommy Lee Jones trailing behind their bloody wake--it's not gonna end well. No Country is both like and unlike any other Coen Brothers flick. It has the darkness of Miller's Crossing and Fargo, but lacks their wink. Whatever the case, great cinema.  Putting together the best films of the last ten years, No Country For Old Men falls near the top.

The Ladykillers:  "Gimme That Donut Money!" I'm a fan. So much so that I claim Tom Hanks' performance as the Foghorn Leghorn Professor Dorr to be his absolute best, and his snooty, vile criminal mastermind is one of the great screen villains. Yes, yes, yes--how dare I say anything good about a film that would dare remake the Alec Guinness classic but the way The Coens mix the presence of a vengeful God into the fray along with the ghost painting of Otho heightens this black comedy silly into magical mondo madness. And Irma P Hall is a force unto herself, the poor thieving saps never stood a chance against her righteousness. Even the normally abysmal Marlon Waynes is a treat with his profane proclamations and his hatred of Mountain Girl. So, hater, take that chip off your shoulder and try to appreciate the absurdity of one of cinema's best remakes. Otherwise, I'll sic The General on your nostrils.

Paranorman:  This stop-motion monster mash is gory gobs of kiddie fun that's very much in the same vein of 80s classics like The Monster Squad, Explorers, and The Goonies. A group of disparate misfits are forced together to battle a cluster of terrified zombies and one hateful witch. Paranorman is quick and clever, and quite the relief in the sea of modern happy-happy family friendly kid fare--this is the film for your outsider child, and they're all outsiders.

Intolerable Cruelty:  This is really the only Coen Brothers film that I find to be completely unappealing. Clooney is pretty much perfect as the teeth obsessed lawyer trapped inside this wannabe Tracy/Hepburn comedy, but the jokes feel incredibly staged and fall flat rather than achieving cleverness. There's a falsity to the film, and not in that charming Wes Anderson artificial beauty kinda way but just a runofthemill romcom situation. I did apprecieate the change of character for Billy Bob Thorton, this chitter chatter attacker following the slowmo thoughtful gazes of the far superior...

The Man Who Wasn't There:  "Me, I don't talk much. I just cut the hair." Billy Bob Thorton's Ed Crane is another classic Coen character. He barely says a word. He smokes like a chimney. He's a barber who wants to be a dry cleaner. And when that desire leads him to the film noir nightmare that is this film we are treated with the most amazing barrage of narration ever put to screen. I would put this right up there with Miller's Crossing, The Big Lebowski, and No Country For Old Men as the absolute peak of Coen artistry.  Flying Saucers and never ending hair...what's it all mean?  Not sure.  Just pay the lawyer and accept your fate.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Saga #6:  Yep, yep, yep. Definitely one of my favorite books on the stands right now. Marko & Family reach the Rocketship Forest and the universe of the book immediately expands. As does the Family itself. After the shocking final pages of last issue, it’s good to see this fresh book has plenty of surprises to drop on us. One helluva cliffhanger after another.  And yeah, The Will is gonna destroy Prince Robot.

Bloodshot #2:  Issue two does a better job of detailing the crazy that is Bloodshot’s brain and it goes a long way in increasing my interest in the title. Conspiracies within conspiracies wrapped in great gobs of soupy blood. And Bloodshot loves his steak. Gross.

Daredevil #17:  It seems like I can’t walk into a comic shop or listen to a podcast without being hassled by a dozen nerds telling me how genius Mark Waid’s run on Daredevil has been. So when I saw Madman artist Mike Allred pop on for a one shot, I decided to give the book a go. I don’t know if this is the revelation some people are claiming it to be, but Waid writes a fun Matt Murdock. Which is definiltey a change from the brooding tragic hero I’m used to…but I like my Daredevil tragic. And I guess it’s unfair to judge a book on one issue but I much much much prefer Bendis & Maleeve’s crime opera to this horse play. Still, Allred is soooooo much fun to read. And I’m really looking forward to his take on Matt Fraction’s FF.

The Victories #1:  Here’s another book people seem really excited about. The Next Watchmen! Uh…yeah, I don’t think so. Sure, it’s set in an “adult” comic book universe where super heroes and villains say "fuck" a lot and shit down the throats of district judges but Greatness that does not make. And I’ve enjoyed Michael Avon Oeming’s art better in a dozen other books. It’s fun, but I’ll just wait for trade if I bother picking it up at all.

Fatale #7:  Still my favorite book currently on the stands. Issue 6 read almost like a first issue, but #7 reveals how this Hollywood Cult plot will play into the overall horror of Ed Brubaker & Sean Phillips’ epic. B Movie star (?) Miles is definitely much more of the sadsack than Nicholas Lash or his uncle, I can see this junkie reaching a horrible and probably gory end.  And the second I turned the last page I was aching for the next.

The Rocketeer - Cargo of Doom:  I love the movie. I really like Dave Stevens original batch of comics. And The Rocketeer deserves a place next to the other typical comic super heroes. Written by Daredevil’s Mark Waid, Cargo of Doom is another light, fun frolic through the pulps with a mysterious shipment of scaly creatures on their way to rassel with goodboy pilot Cliff Secord. But how will this affect his relationship with bombshell Betty? And who is that creeper lurking in the bushes? I’m hoping for Rondo Hatton.

Batman Incorporated #3:  Well, I had to wait an extra month but issue three was worth the wait. Easily my favorite of the New 52 relaunch books, Grant Morrison introduces Bruce Wayne’s gangster counterpart Matches Malone into the universe, and he is appropriately goofy cool. Wayne is obviously thrilled playing the mustached part with his Hollywood lingo and abrasive chauvinism.  Plus, BAT COW LIVES!!!!! Damn right.

Archer & Armstrong #1:  Unlike Bloodshot and X-O Manowar, I never read Archer & Armstrong during its initial run and I only have the tiniest of memories of its original plot.  The relaunch is pretty interesting.   Starts off in Ancient Mesopotamia with a sci-fi cataclysm and quickly jumps into present day with Creationland amusement parks and whackjob religious zealots.  Archer leaves the cult for New York City and the Beast of the Apocalypse or something, and Armstrong bounces his way into the action with his ancient knowledge.  Definitely curious to see where this book goes but I’m not aching for the next issue…but I guess that could be said for all the Valiant books.  They haven’t reached the status of Must Reads…yet.

Fatima - The Blood Spinners #3:  Just when I think this book can’t gross me out any further, I’m shocked into revulsion as a I watch a couple of Blood Spinner agents get impregnated by big black slimy maggots. Fatima can’t trust her friends after she jumps seven years into the future, but she doesn’t have time for doubt as she’s blasting junkies in the face and escaping the gullets of roving slug beasts. Just a fun, gross, and weird book.

Lobster Johnson - The Prayer of Neferu:  I really want to love these Lobster Johnson books but they have yet to amaze me in the same fashion as Hellboy or BPRD. That being said, this latest one shot is a fun pulp adventure with the Lobster’s claw brandishing justice on a bunch of Mummy worshipers. Artist Wilfredo Torres should definitely stick around the Mignolaverse—his cartoony style is reminiscent of Jonathan Case’s crisp heroic characters and with Dave Stewarts colors Lobster Johnson seems to pop off the page.  Disposable, but good.

American Barbarian:  Tom Scioli channels the architecture of Jack Kirby's New Gods for this riotous homage to the sci-fi action of yesteryear.  But this is not just drab imitation, Scioli drenches American Barbarian with uproarious vulgarity that ignites plenty of chuckles as you watch the youngest son of Yoosaman slash & bash the armies of the Two-Tank Omen.  Imagine the post apocalypse of Mad Max populated with the goofy grandeur of the Silver Age and you'll get some idea for this colorful book.  It's not quite the genius of Scioli's Godland, but there's plenty of crazy to enjoy.

THE ULTIMATE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY BOOK CLUB!

Habibi by Craig Thompson:  Our first two meetings were centered on a couple of very Super Heroy comic books (Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men and Batman - The Long Halloween).  For our next effort, the group wanted to tackle something a bit more "serious."  Sigh, yes, yes, I treat X-Men & Batman very seriously but it was time to expand the minds of the group-show folks that this medium is not just for capes & cowls.  But maybe Habibi was too far into the deep end of the pool, and they might not have been properly prepared for the horrors that the book puts its main characters through.

The story of a nine year old girl sold into marriage; she must navigate a life of slavery as a revered member of the Sultan's harem...well, that's where the sexual horror comes into play and Craig Thompson does not shy from revealing the torture of these characters.  But Habibi is also the story of two damaged children surviving their lives using the stories of the Bible, the Torah, and the Qu'arn.  And somewhere in all this horror they find each other, loose each other, and find each other again.  SPOILERS.....some in the Book Club were dreading a horrible end to this Epic, but I could see the light on the horizon.  Unlike most of the others, I read Habibi is two quick bursts over the course of 24 hours and as I blitzed through its pages I just knew this was a book of hope.  And I found myself uplifted by the endeavors of these lost kids.

I'm not sure if Habibi is the Best Graphic Novel of the last ten years, but it is a pretty damn fantastic book.  Turns out, it's not for everybody-no shock there-but if you can handle frank depictions of both sex and violence while being interconnected with stories of faith than you will find this tome to be quite rewarding.

And the art!!!  Yowza, Craig Thompson is a fine storyteller but his cartooning is some of the absolute best.  There are pages in this book that totally floored me.  The way he transforms arabic into not just the borders of the panels, but the rain, the rivers, the animals of Habibi--it's stunning.  You can tear out any page in this book and hang it right on your wall.  It's art.

--Brad