Brad's Week In Dork! (12/16/12-12/22/12)

Like my co-dork, this time of year my life is pretty much consumed by work.  That being said, I still managed to watch a crap ton of movies and read nearly an equal amount of comic books.  And boy, I really needed the downtime that these delicious confections had to offer.  And if there was one through line of the week, it would have to be The Great One - Tom Cruise.  As I get older and Tom Cruise seems to receive more and more hate from the masses, I find myself gravitating more and more to his special brand of insanity and undeniable charm.  You look at a film like Knight & Day and you gotta imagine that he's in on the joke.  But then you watch a film like Collateral and you realize he can deliver a cold, brutal performance.  And then you've got Jack Reacher...well, you'll just have to wait till you reach the end of the week for my feelings on Lee Child's creation.

Trek Nation:  This one took me by surprise.  Randomly saw it on Netflix Instant and pulled the trigger late Sunday night.  Eugene Rodenbery Jr examines the impact that his father's creation has had on pop culture via various interviews with Trekkies, including Hollywood luminaries like George Lucas, JJ Abrams, and Rob Zombie (yeah that's right, he's a luminary).  Thanks to an inquisitive and sometimes confused familial connection, this doc succeeds where others like Trekkies & William Shatner's Get A Life don't - sure, it's still a touch too exaggerated on Star Trek's "Importance" but there is genuine heart in young Rodenberry's quest and he does not shy from the darker aspects to Gene the Man.  And talking heads will only give you so much; Trek Nation is just another commercial for one of my favorite franchises but it brought more warmth to the tale than I was certainly expecting.

Miami Connection:  So.  Yeah.  They're right about this one.  Written, Directed, and Starring Master Y.K. Kim, Miami Connection is one of those fabled So-Bad-It's-Great lost 80s classics.  I'm not sure how I never saw it growing up.  Never grabbed the VHS box or saw it Up All Night on the USA Network (apparently it was rejected from every distribution house in the country and only played in & around Orlando, Florida).  Bummer, cuz I think my child mind would have been blown by this goofball ninjafest.  When a clan of biker ninjas roll into town it's up to the Tae Kwon Do mastery of the multicultural synth band, Dragon Sound to karate chop their ass.  The band concocted exclusively with orphans struggles with love, music, college life, and evil bastards named Jeff.  This might not be the best Bad Movie I've ever seen, but it's definitely up there.

Bernie:  A charmingly sad film.  Jack Black is a little too unreal with his performance...at least in the portrayal of the real life murderer - or least it feels that way, I have no real idea of who this Bernie Tiede is in real life and maybe he is just a lark of a killer but, I just sense a 1 dimensional character interpretation.  That being said, it's a fun enough journey to prison.  Shirley MacLaine is a heisnous witch and when Bernie pulls the trigger you're more than happy to see her drop face first in the cement. Matthew McConaughey is a goof of a Texan and he's sorely underused in the narrative...and that's not just my rampant McConaughey love talking...at least I don't think.

Collateral:  Watched this in prep for both Jack Reacher and Django Unchained, and I definitely believe this to be not only Tom Cruise and Jaime Foxx's best film to date, but also Michael Mann's greatest achievement in crime cinema (obviously, his greatest achievement is The Keep).  The Los Angeles high def photography is stunning, that dirty concrete city has never looked this beautiful.  Tom Cruise is a sociopathic murder machine, and his typically steely stare has never worked better on the big (or small screen).  But it's Jamie Foxx's daydreaming cabbie that steals the show.  Released the same year as Ray, I believe his simmering rage performance here is ten times better than anything found in that mimicry biopic.  Granted, I would probably prefer for the film to play out a little differently in the last ten minutes or so but as is, Collateral is one of my favorite films of the last fifteen years.  And it is the flick that started to turn me back into a fan of The Great One.

All New X-Men 4:  This is the issue I was waiting for.  Cyclops on Cyclops violence.  It's a little talkier than I would like (but it's Bendis, so that's to be expected) and the Scott Summers of yesteryear doesn't kill this new asshole dictator version of himself, but there's still hope that the new Scott gets taken out by the old.  But 4 issues into this bizarro idea and we're starteing to see where this book is heading - I see a lot of anger and violence ahead.

Avengers #2:  I really do love Jerome Opena's art, but I'm not feeling Jonathan Hickman's story yet.  The Great Big Avengers team continues to Assemble to fight the threat on Mars, and we get a little more detail on what the big bad Ex Nihlo's plan entails.  But this still sorta feels like a retread on what Bendis did a few years ago for his New Avengers Breakout arc...only with less character detail.  I don't care about Manifold or Hyperion.  Why should I be excited that there joining the team?

Avengers Arena #2:  No Darkhawk this issue.  Sigh.  I'm only reading this book for its Darkhawk content.  Give me that punchy 90s hero or I'm gonna walk cuz this Battle Royale wannabe is not at all appealing.  Granted, it's not the complete crap that I thought it was going to be but I also don't see why my comic book guys are going gaga over this book.

Captain America #2:  This just might be my least favorite relaunch from Marvel Now.  One of my all time favorite characters ripped from his comfort zone, and thrusted in the ultra lame Dune wannabe Dimension Z.  I've enjoyed Rick Remender's writing and John Romita Jr's art in the past, but this is just abysmal storytelling.  With every turn of the page I become more and more disconcerted.  I really hope this Zolaland nonsense lasts for six issues because I don't think I could take a whole year of this, and the moment they start flashing back to that year gap between issues 1 and 2 - I'm out.

Hawkeye #6:  And as much as I don't like Captain America right now, I LOVE HAWKEYE!  Seriously, I know this is my same old song but I cannot believe how damn good this book is - it might very well be the best book Marvel's publishing right now.  Crazy bold words, but it's fact.  Issue 6 sees the return of the Bro army as Clint tries to understand the joys of Christmas AV Electronic set up.  The story bounces in and around his Holiday week, and we see just how hard it is to be an Avenger and not have your favorite TV show (Dog Cops!) ruined by those asshole heroes you work with (Spoilers Spider-Man!!!!  Geez).

Indestructible Hulk #2:  Not a bad second issue, but its nowhere near as fun as Mark Waid's other books this year.  I do appreciate how the Marvel Now relaunch seems to be following the relationship between Tony Stark & Bruce Banner found within in Joss Whedon's movie universe.  And I can't tell you how relieved I am that Banner is starting to have control of The Hulk again.  The whole Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing has been more than a little tired for the last 30 years.

Thor - God of Thunder #3:  Another great issue.  Focusing mostly on present day Thor, I dig the regret he has for his brash failure back in the cave of issue 2.  And is it me or are The God Butcher's hounds ten times scarier than The God Butcher himself?  Thor attempts to gain some knowledge from the libraries of Omnipotence City, but the guy is not much of a reader - he's going to get his education done on the battlefield.  This might not be my favorite book of Marvel Now, but it's a close second.

Thunderbolts #2:  Did not enjoy this as much as the first issue, but I enjoyed it enough to keep going.  I'm just one of those guys that really likes seeing Steve Dillon draw these B List heroes.  This book mostly focuses on a Thunderbolts assault on the horrible dictatorship island all Marvelites know as Madripoor.  Imagine that crappy little island from Commando and add a Red Hulk and you pretty much get the idea.  I do wish this was a Max title cuz I want to see The Punisher off the chain, tearing through guerilla scum.

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #18:  Finally, the United We Stand arc is over.  Not the finest moment from Bendis Spider-Man run.  Not saying it's garbage, but I never really got excited by any of this Hydra terrorist nonsense.  Especially how it plays with Miles Morales...although I did enjoy his encounter with that Giant Woman's breasts.  Giggle.  But the best stuff from this issue surrounds Spider-Woman's almost revelation to Miles - I'm really looking forward to Jessica Drew unleashing her origin on the new Spider-Man cuz it's gonna blow his mind.  Now, let's get on to the Venom War.

BPRD 1948 #3:  Another month, another kickass 1948 issue.  And there is a moment in this book with little Hellboy that might be the cutest moment in the characters history - yeah, that's right, cuter than PANCAKES!  But the weight of this book settles in Professor Bruttenholm's telling of the dimensional birth of Hellboy, and our young lady scientist is more than a little horrified by the Prof's casual adoption of the beast.  Not exactly sure what's really going on in this book yet, but I eagerly await it's conclusion.

BPRD - The Return of the Master #5:  Don't get me wrong.  I really enjoyed this latest chapter in BPRD misery.  But...this book leaves you seriously hanging.  For a series titled The Return of the Master I was expecting something a little more conclusive but this book reminds me a lot of The Warning.  There's a lot of set-up here and I guess the payoff is not going to come until later.  The Hell on Earth saga continues to torture mankind and I gotta laugh at how devastated our world becomes with the conclusion of each mini.  Just when you think it can't get any worse, it most certainly does.  Mignola & Arcudi are having to much fun with pain.  Very curious to see how this plays in trade.

Happy! #3:  Well, we finally get the answer as to why Sax can see Happy The Horse and even though it shouldn't come as a huge surprise I found myself taken aback.  This is not Grant Morrsion's finest hour by any means, but I'm enjoying Derick Robertson's underworld horror show.  And Happy is delightful.  But I find myself thinking about the last issue coming up next month - can it possibly satisfy the story?  Four issues is not a lot of room for a masterpiece.

Saga #8:  The Internet is madly in love with this book.  I'm enjoying it just ok.  I want to be gaga.  Y The Last Man & Ex Machina are two of my all time favorite series, but Saga is a little too fanciful for my tastes.  I'm not a full on hater like Matt, but I find myself deeply disappointed by my lack of love for Saga.  And after the grotesque introduction of the giant Fard, it was a little bit disconcerting to see him dispatched so easily in this issue.

The Sixth Gun #27:  I'm starting to think that this book should just be read in trades.  Issue 27 sees Drake take down the Wendigo, but blink and the book is over.  Good stuff, but after I put it down I'm done.  My brain hasn't drifted back to this book since.  But I could just be obsessed with super hero comics right now.  I'm so jazzed on Marvel Now there's little energy left for the independents.  Wow.  That's a horrible thing to write.

XO Manowar #8:  The Ninjak story comes to a close and that's ok.  Solid.  But not amazing.  It pretty much let Archer & Armstorng and Bloodshot take the lead in Valiant Comics away from my favorite XO character.  Oh well.  Looking forward to the Planet Death stuff next month.  I need Aric to go psycho on Earth.  I need him to tear up this modern world, bring a little classic barbarism back to the masses...or at least the masses of government.

Death Proof:  My least favorite of Tarantino's films.  That's not to say that it doesn't have some fairly badass stuff in it, but after each viewing I find myself disappointed.  The funny thing is that The Wife freaking loves this movie.  I guess it has something to do with girl power kickassery and Zoe Bell's cat-like reflexes.  For me though, I just cannot stand the first half of the film.  I love Stuntman Mike and his nacho gnashing.  Rose McGowan is shockingly good as the sadsack Pam.  But Sydney Poitier and her group of big shit friends annoy the hell outta me and the only pleasure I get from the first 45 minutes is watching them crash all over that road.  And that two act structure devastates the flow for me every time.  I'd gladly watch the second half over and over again, but I don't see myself going back to this film on a regular basis.  Still, those stunt car sequences are some of the best road rashes ever filmed.  Gotta give QT that.  And Kurt Russell is quite a character.  His crying screams are beautiful.

Beyond the Black Rainbow:  "Oh Barry, you startled me."  Whoa.  I was not ready for Beyond the Black Rainbow.  There's a little John Carpenter in its synth score, but there's a whole helluva lot of David Cronenberg pumped throughout this monster of a movie.  And I'm talking The Brood, Rabid, and Videodrome Cronenberg - there's no Dangerous Method to be found here.  But what's it all about? Not really sure.  It's a headtrip of a flick that will definitely bare repeat viewings.  There's something to do with a secret laboratory, a girl with psychic abilities, and a trip down Stanley Kubrick's A Space Odyssey.  I've seen a lot of ineffectual horror films this year, and even though I would not necessarily place Black Rainbow in that genre, no other film has disturbed me quite as deeply as it has this year.  When the plot starts to go off the rails in the last fifteen minutes, I was practically pulling the hair out of my head with great waves of anxiety.  All I can say is, Bravo.  Need to get this sucker on blu ray - there are some serious reds that will destroy my HDTV.

Knight and Day:  "I'm The Guy!"  Tom Cruise is so scarily, and creepingly charming in this movie.  And I adore how Cameron Diaz swoons for his Secret Agent nutjob.  Their flirtations feel genuine to me.  Scary and weird.  But genuine.  As Tom Cruise kills his way to Cameron Diaz's heart, I feel myself being won over by the madman's intoxicating mastery over his 007 craft.  Killing squadrons of goons in the aisle of a 747.  Jumping from a flying policeman's motorcycle and onto the hood of a speeding car - he's a regular TJ Hooker.  It's a goofy movie, not to be taken seriously and director James Mangold doesn't quite have a hold on some of the action sequences, but that's okay - the leads carry the film.  When surrounded by a herd of CGI bulls, you're more focused on the smiley faces of Cruise & Diaz to be distracted by the uncanny valley.  Knight and Day is a lark if you let it be.

Solomon Kane:  I've been anticipating this film for nearly four years.  A wait like that will surely not bare delicious fruit.  But it's not rotten either.  Similar to last year's Season of the Witch (have I lost you already?) I admire Solomon Kane's "Just Do It" attitude.  This is a Fantasy film.  It's not a medieval tale with hints of the supernatural.  F that.  We've got full on demons, witches, magic, and disfigured cultist goons.  And in the middle of all that Robert E Howardness, you've got James Purefoy looking damn good under that buckle hat.  Maybe not the grande adaptation all us Conan aficionados want, but it's a helluva lot better a Solomon Kane flick than I thought we would ever see.

Iron Sky:  Invasion of the Moon Nazis!  It's a premise this exploitation nut should absolutely adore, but ultimately, this film is far too bland to be entertaining.  There are a couple of fun sequences involving a whole lot of awkward racial humor and our heroic astronaut, but for the most part the jokes are far too broad - and the Sarah Palin stuff really needed to go, just not funny.

Ted:  How do I write about this film without spoiling the single greatest cameo in cinematic history?  I just can't rob you of that joy.  What I will say, is that when this person finally revealed himself and Mark Wahlberg got to fulfill his boyhood dreams, I nearly wept with giddy glee.  Ted is a damn funny movie.  Seth McFarlane's talking teddy is a vulgar riot made for snuggles, and the way both Wahlberg & Mila Kunis interact with this creature is fascinatingly authentic - he's this decade's Roger Rabbit.  That's an achievement unto itself, and some night I really do feel like I could use my very own Thunder Buddy.  Still - my love of this film all comes down to that all too brief, but absolutely perfect cameo.

Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader:  One of the few disappointments of this year's Comic Con was missing the screening of Roger Corman's latest.  Thanks to Netflix Instant, I've finally seen this cheesefest.  I know this might come as a shock, but Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader is not very good.  But it's cheeky enough.  Lots of innuendo that climaxes on a giant topless cat fight.  If that sounds like your kind of thing (and how could it not) than look no further.  I do wish I'd caught this in 3D on the big screen though.

Jack Reacher:  I've been eagerly anticipating this one.  And not just cuz it's the latest flick from The Great One.  But it's Christopher McQuarrie's directorial follow up to The Way of the Gun, a twisty crime film that does not get the attention it truly deserves.  So, how does he do with Lee Child's baby?  Not bad.  Tom Cruise is pretty much playing the same character as he was in Knight and Day, but without the joyous bombardment of smiles.  He is earnest.  He is stretching all his badass muscles and for the most part he succeeds.  Of course, McQuarrie's screenplay really helps on giving him the best snarky one-liners and whip-smart retorts.  The best scene in the film is when he intellectually devastates a couple of barhopping bros before physically crippling them.  Sock to the balls!  And Werner Herzog's milky eyed big bad is worth the price of admission alone.  The moments in the movie where he rears his seriously ugly head are delightfully intense, and his final confrontation with Cruise is extremely satisfying.  I don't think we're gonna get a whole series of Jack Reacher movies, but I would be down for a few more.

--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork! (8/26/12-9/1/12)

My Coen Brothers Marathon started off strong, but once I got my hands on Boardwalk Empire everything ground to a halt.  I took two days to devour that show and it felt like the perfect lead into Miller's Crossing which will start off my next Week In Dork.  Part of me is disappointed that I didn't complete the marathon, but the other part is also excited to have stretched it out over three weeks.  I have no doubt in my mind now that my favorite director in cinema is The Coen Brothers.  Their films are strange cocktails of humor and horror.  I watch something like Fargo and I'm struck by its sad, pathetic characters as well as Marge, the eternal optimist confused by the horrors committed by her misguided neighbors.  And I'm in awe of the laughs it steals from shower curtains and woodchippers.  Wonderful, demented stuff.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Masters of the Universe:  Okay, I know what you're thinking--this is a crap film that totally gets the He-Man mythos wrong...but who cares about the He-Man mythos? Not me. Just sit back and enjoy the absolute sillyness. Oscar nominee Frank Langella as Skeletor! The Dolph as He-Man! Has there ever been a better match up?!?!?! And Courteney Cox at her horrible best! Sure, the kid in me is still disappointed that Billy Barty's Gwildor is just a lameass version of Orko (shut up haters!) and Eternia gets the shaft for cheapie 1980s backlots, but once you embrace the ridiculousness, Masters of the Universe is a craptastic wannabe franchise gem.

O Brothers, Where Art Thou?:  "It's a fool who looks for logic in the chambers of his own heart." In this Homeric odyssey, George Clooney's Dapper Dan motormouth leads a couple of chain gang dolts across the South, defending his honor as a husband against seductress sirens, a frog crushing Cyclops, the Ku Klux Klan, and a mirror eyed Devil. Steeped in the very best of the Coen Brothers' visual style (& DP partner Roger Deakins), O Brother Where Art Thou is a musical epic that firmly established Clooney as a bonafide star.

Terror Is A Man:  I don't know if terror is a man or a cat man, but I do know that this movie is boooooooring. A sorry adaptation of The Island of Dr. Moreau, the only thing really noteworthy about this flick is its attempt at William Castle-like showmanship with its turnaway bell & raw surgical meat splicing...and according to the excellent documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed, Terror is a Man was the birth of the Philippines exploitation movement. Cool. Sure. But such notes not a good movie make, and when all is said and done this is just a snoozefest with a couple of bright Cat Mummy moments.

The Big Lebowski:  "Yer not dealing with morons here." Yep. I'm sure of it. The Big Lebowski is the perfect companion film to The Coen's A Serious Man. Bot films feature a frustrated lead battling the stupidity of outside forces but where Michael Stuhlbarg's physics professor succumbs to their horrors, The Dude abides cuz he simply understands that sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats you. Strikes and gutters, man. Jeff Bridges's The Dude is the Great American Protagonist who finds himself stuck in the mirk of noir all on account of a rug. Millionaires, Bunnies, Porno Kingpins - none were prepared for his impenetrable zen cool.

Fargo:  At once hilarious and depressing, Fargo is the movie that introduced me to the demented genius of the Coen Brothers as well as a lot of other film geeks out there. William H Macy, at his most utterly pathetic, hires crooks Steve Buscemi (he's funny lookin' in a general sorta way) and Peter Stormare ("Pancakes House") to kidnap his wife so he can pay off some serious debts with his father-in-law's ransom money. Blood spills rather quickly and Frances McDormand's pregnant midwestern police chief connects the rather obvious dots. Absolutely brilliant performances from all the players, and I would argue that all four have yet to top the work done in Fargo (well, Buscemi might have peaked on Boardwalk Empire but that could also be my HBO high talking). And, again, you can't celebrate the Coens without acknowledge the magnificence of cinematographer Roger Deakins and composer Carter Burwell - they paint this film in sadness.

The Hudsucker Proxy:  "But I got big ideas." Whether we knew it or not, The Coen's had been building towards this It's A Wonderful Life screwball comedy in each of their previous four films. It just took their partnership with Crimewave's Sam Raimi to push them over the edge of nudge-nudge and into the WINK-WINK. And for the most part it works, but for me their outside meta eye keeps the emotion distant and I never quite connect with either the success or the worries of Tim Robbins' bumbling Hudsucker president. The film never crests beyond its homage, it never transforms into A Coen Brothers Film. The Hudsucker Proxy is a lot like the mimicry of Intolerable Cruelty: I recognize the cleverness and the craft on display and acknowledge it with a smile, but the film never excites me the way a Big Lebowski or even Burn After Reading does. Still, damn sharp writing.

Barton Fink:  "LOOK UPON ME! I'LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!!!!!" Probably the most perfect Coen Brothers film. No, not my favorite. But if you want to experience the purest notion of their beautifully odd imagination than look no further. John Turturro is a Broadway darling playwright who ventures into the Hell that is Hollywood in search of meaning and money. There he finds John Mahoney's drunk demon writer, John Goodman's fiery insurance salesman, and a nightmare motel room dripping wet potent wallpaper. And it all has something to do with the beach and a hefty brown box. Madness. By the climax you'll be scratching your head, trolling the internet for answers, and ultimately confused for life. Not only will you not forget Barton Fink, you'll think of it often. A great film to revisit.  But maybe not if you're a wannabe writer.  Not VF.

TV OF THE WEEK!

Boardwalk Empire Season 2:  Man.  The first season was rough.  It was good.  But brutal.  And that was nothing.  The second season of HBO's prohibition gangster drama strips away as much of the good and cheery qualities of its characters as possible.  Sure, some of these guys are charismatic.  Steve Buscemi can make anyone lovable, but his puppet master Nucky Thompson is a duplicitous asshole and by the final episode you'll see him for the true scum that he is.  And love it.  These are James Ellroy-like monster protagonists.  Michael Shannon's G-Men descends deeper into his own personal hell and I'm not sure where they can take the character in the third season.  Frankly, I have no idea where any of these plot lines are going to end up.  Season 2's climax felt like a series climax.  It's over. But, nope, we got more horror coming.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

Rasl - Books 1 & 2:  I've been avoiding this book for a couple of years now.  Jeff Smith's Bone is one of the greatest comic book series ever written.  It's an epic that mixes Lord of the Rings style fantasy with Walt Disney sensibilities.  And it's absolutely beautiful.  So when I heard that Smith's next saga was going to be an adult sci-fi adventure involving dimension hopping, art theft, lizard men, and Native American folklore I was more than a bit skeptical.  Not to mention the fact that it has taken Smith two years to produce 15 issues and this book probably won't be completed until 2025.  And this is still just a taste of the series and Smith's really the only person who knows where this story is going, but I'm definitely along for the ride.  I love the folklore/science mix, and the callbacks to Tesla, Einstein, WWI, & WWII is just historical gravy that I love to sop.  And Smith is an amazing cartoonist and no one does black & white like him.

The Sixth Gun #24:  All right, I'm all caught up on singles!  Becky & Drake make their way to Fort Treadwell but run across a nasty blizzard and giant Winter Wolves.  Just when you think The Sixth Gun can't get any weirder-gulp-Game of Thrones ain't got nothing on these beasties.  Plus, General Hume's zombie corpse screams maggots and threats of his family line.  Just a fun really weird western.

BPRD Hell on Earth -The Return of the Master #1:  A mysterious dark figure arrives in Scotland.  Fennix joins with the BPRD in Colorodo.  The Zinco Corporation prepares for the next wave of Hell on Earth terror.  And the Russian Director Nichayko continues to taunt the bottled vampire girl in his office.  It's all set up as Mike Mignola & John Arcudi build to the 100th issue in the series; there appears to be no hope for the world and I seriously appreciate how unrelenting this book has become.

Winter Soldier #9:  Ed Brubaker has announced his exit from this book and the Marvel Universe in general, and he can't leave fast enough as far as I'm concerned.  I love the man.  His Fatale is still the best damn book on the stands.  But he's lost his feeling for the super hero books and reading Winter Soldier is sad and painful.  Brubaker's Cap was once a glorious thing but reading it now is depressing.  It's not awful.  But it's also just not very good.  I've been reading his arc for years and I'm going to see it through but once he's off so am I.

DORK FIELD TRIP OF THE WEEK!

Patton Oswalt at the Arlington Cinema 'n' Drafthouse:  On Saturday night The Wife, our friend Lindsey, and myself drove out to Arlington to see Oswalt on stage at the Cinema 'n' Drafhouse.  This was my first time at this venue and it did not disappoint.  Definitely dug the rolling cushion chairs, the John Wayne BBQ burgers, and the general do-it-yourself atmosphere.  We weren't in the front row, but we had some pretty good seats off to the side with a great line on Patton.  He started his bit off with some ok "I Don't Want To Be Morbidly Obese" jokes but quickly segued into that geek humor we've all come to crave.  But my favorite moment of the show was when he did the crowd work.  It's so cool to see him pull conversation from the audience and incorporate it into his bit.  And the fans eat it up, especially all the local boy flavor Oswalt peppered into his comedy.  Every time he mentioned Sterling or Fuck Loudon County Snow Days the crowd hollered with glee.  Me included.

--Brad

Brad's Week In Dork (7/29/12-8/4/12)

Here's just a bunch of random crap I did this week.  And none of it really blew my mind.  Sure, there's good stuff here.  I'm still obsessing over Dark Knight Rises-I think a lot of that might stem from the annoying Internet hate being directed at the final chapter and even though I still have a few minor gripes towards the film, I still kinda love it.  So when The Wife said she was sad she missed the flick in IMAX we dropped everything we were doing and sped on over to the Udvar Hazy Air & Space Museum.  I mostly watched her watch the film, loving every moment that brought tears to her face.  She's amazing, the way film effect her--she's completely invested in the life of Bruce Wayne and I'm right there with her.

TV OF THE WEEK!

Hatfields & McCoys:  "Revenge is all I got inside of me." At 6 hours this History Channel production detailing the frustratingly stubborn and grotesquely violent war between the infamous Hatfields & McCoys is a bit of a slog. That being said, I found the impenetrable hate expressed by these mean bastard characters to be rather refreshing. Thanks to the crutch that is History, the character do not grow, they do not find revelation. Just death and sorrow. And Kevin Costner & Bill Paxton are perfect embodiments for these monstrous patriarchs. So if you can handle the sorrow and the pathetic actions of fools than you might just enjoy the bearded gnashing of History's most hateful families.

MOVIES OF THE WEEK!

Ice Age - Continental Drift:  After diving into the Ice Age saga on the fourth film,  I cannot claim to understand or care for these CG sitcom concoctions, but looking beyond the barf and fart jokes there are still a couple of chuckles to be found. Still, I cannot condone this voice cast. Ray Ramano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, and Queen Latifah are impossible to imagine as anything other than "personalities" even when Peter Dinkledge lends a little class with his taste of "furry." Ice Age - Continental Drift feels a lot like one of the lost, or rather better left forgotten, Land Before Time sequels and the Direct-To-DVD graveyard will be this franchise's eventual destination.

21 Jump Street:  Yes, with the H.F.S. baked declaration of "Fuck You Science!" Channing Tatum finally won me over to his dark side of brilliant comic timing. Forget my previous GI Joe-hate or Step Up confusion, you sir are a freaking mad man of comedy. 21 Jump Street defies the odds and delivers a laugh-out-loud remake and a downright game changer for at least half of its two leads. And lets not forget about Ice Cube and his Korean Jesus--he's got more serious problems than yours fool. Sure, the third reel action film payoff is forced and ultimately unnecessary, but it does give supposed fans of the original a happy spurt of cameo nostalgia.

Rango:  After about a half dozen viewings, I'm declaring Rango to be a new personal classic. Yep, I'm probably going to watch Johnny Depp's Lizard With No Name at least once a year for the rest of my life. Not only have ILM, Nickelodeon, and Gore Verbinski crafted the most beautiful CG animated film yet (seriously, those sunsets!? Those ugly ass mangy animals!?!) but a thrilling Weird Western cinematic sendup of Polanski's Chinatown as well as a million billion Spaghetti classics. And after experiencing the bland voices of the Ice Age it's a thrill to get real character work from Depp, Isla Fisher, Ned Beatty, Timothy Olyphant, Ray Winstone, and Bill Nighy.

William Shatner's Get A Life:  I signed up for a free trial run of Epix just to see The Shat's new doc.  It's super short, barely over an hour, but it has a genuine love for its fanboy subjects where the similarly themed Trekkies carried a more mocking tone.  However, just like Shatner's The Captains, the film feels heavily steered by The Shat's questions and his revelations are scripted rather than happened upon understanding.  Still, I love LOVE, especially Fanboy Love and Get A Life! is a warm dip into the crazy pool of Star Trek geekery.  I'm a proud member and one of these days I'll make it out to the big Vegas Trek extravaganza.

Piranha 3DD:  "In Case You Haven't Noticed, Fish Ate My Damn Legs!" David Hasselhoff as Fish Hunter aside, there is very little to enjoy about Piranha 3DD. Yep, this is just bad-bad cinema and nowhere near as hilariously fun-bad as it should be...which is the same problem with the first film's remake.  Director John Gulager attempts to parade out even skankier hos and splatter even bloodier kills but it all seems very tired. Sure, Hoffy & Ving Rhames score a few laughs but not nearly enough to recommend and I don't wanna get behind the cow fart destruction of Gary Busey.  Not cool.

The Dark Knight Rises:  Fourth viewing and I'm still quite satisfied with Chris Nolan's conclusion to his epic Batman saga.  And on my second IMAX experience I found the ratio switching much less distracting.  Favorite bits are still the first brutal confrontation with Tom Hardy's behemoth and the GCPD/League of Shadows Braveheart brawl...sure, a few more bullets could hit their target and The Dark Knight Rises seems to hold its violent punches where The Dark Knight relished in the depravity--And the time line gets super wonky!  But quibbles do not destroy a film, and they're no worse than the quibbles I had with either of the two previous Dark Knight entries.

The Gold Rush:  Of the latest Criterion rereleases, I easily prefer both Modern Times & The Great Dictator but it's The Gold Rush where you find some of Charlie Chaplin's most iconic images--the boot dinner, the dancing rolls, the teetering cabin. Classic stuff. But I find the Tramp's obsession with Georgia to be rather sad if not downright pathetic. She's such a thin snob of a woman who only sees Chaplin's prospector as a human when he obtains wealth. Their love is bitter and easily dismissed.

The Innkeepers:  Similar in pacing and payoff to Ti West's previous House of the Devil, however, I did not find either the spooks or the mystery of The Innkeepers to be engaging. I recognize a well crafted film but it's ultimately a hollow venture that's about as thrilling or thoughtful as a Paranormal Activity sequel. Sara Paxton sure can scream and Kelly McGillis sure got old.  Not enough plot for me.

COMICS OF THE WEEK!

The Underwater Welder:  Damon Lindelof, in his introduction, draws comparisons to Rod Serling's The Twilight Zone when championing this stellar graphic novel from the creator of Sweet Tooth. And once that parallel is drawn it is impossible to forget. But The Underwater Welder is not a simple homage to twisting genre moralities. There may or may not be a supernatural event at the center of this story, but at its heart The Underwater Welder is a simply drama-drama of an impeding father terrified not just by his responsibilities but his blessings as well. Author Jeff Lemire captures pain and anxiety perfectly and wraps it nicely in a blanket of acceptable fantasy.

Batman - Dark Victory:  Picking up shortly after the events of The Long Halloween, Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale introduce a new serial killer to Gotham, The Hang Man. But what does this mystery killer have to do with Holiday? Or the Falcone Crime Family? Or Harvey Dent? Frankly, I find the Who Done It plot less compelling than the murders of The Long Halloween (it's a rehashed device) but I do love the Falcone's deterioration into Freak Show Super Villainy. Sofia Gigante is a monster! Albert Falcone is as much a freak as Joker or Scarecrow. What started in The Long Halloween is solidified in Dark Victory, Loeb & Sale give us Gotham's transition from ordinary Mob crimes into the Rogues Gallery freakshow we've come to love so damn much.

Hawkeye #1:  Did I seriously purchase a Hawkeye comic?  I did!  And no, Jeremy Renner did not turn me to the dark side of lameness.  But when Big Planet Comics tells me I should check something out I usually listen (they were certainly right about The Underwater Welder & Green River Killer)  Plus, Matt Fraction.  He writes some damn good comics.  But even though I appreciated the lack of the purple suit and the added sad sack dog sidekick, I really wasn't enthralled with this one-off Bro basher.  Hawkeye, hero of the people?  Whatever.  But for a first issue it feels a little soft.  

Beasts of Burden - Neighborhood Watch:  Evan Dorkin & Jill Thompson's Beasts of Burden is an adorable supernatural horror.  Imagine Watership Down, Hellboy, and Pound Puppies smooshed through your Murder She Wrote obsessed television.  Neighborhood Watch collect three mini adventures in which Rex & Orphan chase down a chicken killing goblin, the heroic myth of the heroic Bitan is recounted to a liter of pups, and the Beasts encounter a herd of roaming zombie sheep.  Yep, weird wild stuff.  And a perfect introduction for the uninitiated.

Ultimate Spider-Man #13:  Ok, this somehow ties into the current Divided We Fall ultimate crossover event but it seems to only have very loose connections to the overall story.  Miles Morales struggles with the outcome of his deadly battle with The Prowler and Nick Fury & The Avengers ponder the destiny of this new Spider-Man.  It's all set-up to a two page payoff that has me clamoring for issue 14.  Time for Miles to finally confront the legacy of Peter Parker.  

The Sixth Gun #18-23:  After last week, I just couldn't wait for the next trade.  Becky escapes the Sword of Abraham in pursuit of the missing Drake Sinclair.  She tracks him to the town of Penance where a mysterious plague seems to have mutated the population.  More fun, gross Cowboy action.  The Sixth Gun continues to be one of my favorite new series thanks to cartoony, over-the-top violence including eyeless monster monks, Lovecraftian sea beasts, and leashed man-dog trackers.  The wordless issue 21 was easily the standout of the collection, featuring plenty of action and another hint towards the history of the Six Guns.  Glad I'm all caught up.

HOPELESS DORK EXPENSE OF THE WEEK!

The San Diego International Comic Con 2013:  Wow.  So, we already have our tickets for next year's show.  On Saturday, The Wife & I manned our computers ready to fight an army of faceless fellow dorks in competition for early Comic Con admittance.  The preregistration process began at 11AM and when I clicked the link I was the 18,000th person in line--no chance of getting Preview Night or all four days.  But thankfully my buddy TitoBane was 1,000th in line and he scored 4 Day Badges for both The Wife & myself.  There you have it.  Comic Con 2013 here we come.  I don't know if I can afford another flight over or a room or whatever but dammit I'm gonna make it happen.  We're Comic Con addicts now.  Every year for the rest of our lives.

--Brad