Matt’s Week in Dork! (9/28/14-10/4/14)

    In spite of a couple gaps in the Dork Life, this was a fine week, made all the better by HestFest 2014, the annual celebration of Charlton Heston.  Along with a couple visits to The Alamo for some classic cinema, it made for a solid week.

Robocop:  “Guns, guns, guns!”  Awesome Cyberpunk, ultra 80s, super-violent, subversive as heck, and just a heck of a lot of fun.  The script is tight, the performances are tip-top.  Kurtwood Smith is especially good as the gang leader in the pocket of an evil exec.  He’s clearly having all kinds of fun, reveling in sneering line-reading.  A must see.

    I tried out the recent (turns out, already canceled) Crossbones.  It wasn’t good enough to care, or bad enough to entertain.  I won’t be bothering to watch on, and not even because I know it ends prematurely.

Johnny Guitar:  “Down there I sell whiskey and cards.  All you can buy up these stairs is a bullet in the head.”  Not at all the Western you think you’re gonna get.  A lot of the usual elements are all introduced, but where things go is less than usual.  With Noir styled, ‘hard boiled’ dialog, unexpected turns, and all kinds of hate poring out of the screen, it’s one to seek out.

    On Friday night, Ben came over for the beginning, the preamble if you will, of HestFest.  It was a more low-key evening and a good start to the weekend.

Two-Minute Warning:  Charlton Heston and John Cassavetes have to stop a sniper at the Super Bowl.  It’s paced and written like a typical disaster film from the time, with several random characters coming together while something bad looms.  While not a classic, it’s good.

Planet of the Apes:  One of the greats.  My eighth favorite, in fact.  This movie has so much going on, it takes multiple viewings to pick up on a lot of it.  Of course some of it is pretty obvious, but some not as much.  One of these days I’ll do a more scholarly (ha!), extended review.  But if you haven’t seen it, it’s a classic for a reason.  Planet of the Apes transcends genre, and like the best fiction, it tells some serious truth.

    Saturday morning, I started up my annual journey into madness,  the real deal, HestFest.  I’m not sure exactly how long I’ve been doing this.  It’s been a long time.  I think it started back in or around 1999, so I’m starting to think of it as the 15th anniversary.  But it might have been earlier.  Over the years, it’s varied in success, but it’s always been fun.  More recently, since briefly rooming with co-Dork Brad a few years ago, it’s become a more ‘serious’ endeavor.  No longer just a couple friends, a bag of chips, and a bottle of soda while we sit down to two or three Heston favorites.  No, now it’s a day long (plus) party with themed foods, gifts, a raffle, etc.  A madhouse.  A MAD HOUSE!

Charlton Heston Presents Genesis:  This was much better than I anticipated.  Heston talks generally about the Bible, then reads various excerpts of the Book of Genesis.  He wanders around the Holy Land, walking the area in which the book is set.  The film serves as a reminder that only a short time ago, civil discussion about religion didn’t seem so alien.

The Greatest Story Ever Told:  If this movie was half as long, and had 90% less sanctimonious mic dropping from Jesus, this would be a pretty cool fantasy film.  That they used the American West as a backdrop lends a sort of surreal vibe to the familiar story.  And Charlton Heston’s caveman preacher, John the Baptist is wildly wonderful.  There are some great scenes, to be sure.  But the film is well over three hours long, and by the time Heston exits, it starts to feel like the post-chariot race Ben Hur.  And the fact of the matter is, in this film, Jesus is absolutely insufferable.  I love Max Van Sydow, but he makes you want to kick his teeth in with his cloying, condescending self-righteousness.

Skyjacked:  Totally bonkers, this movie is a heck of a lot of fun.  All the silly tropes come rolling out and get an almost exploitation treatment.  James Brolin is wonderfully over the top.  It’s all goofy, but very watchable.

    Brad and I were in for the long haul and Rebecca joined us at about the point Jesus was getting done in, but around the end of Skyjacked, people started coming in.  I played an old live TV thing called A Bolt of Lightning as we got food and said hello.

Earthquake:  One of my favorite, if not my favorite, disaster films, Earthquake is a sprawling movie with subplots to spare.  George Kennedy is especially awesome as the bitter, but eventually heroic cop.  There’s family melodrama, a kid in a coma, a creepy rapist with a gun, and a whole lot of shakin’ going on.

Airport 1975:  “The stewardess is flying the plane!”  I wish this movie was less dull.  There are some good bits and some fun moments.  But I could have used a bit more sleaze, a bit more silly.  It takes itself so danged serious.  Still, a fun group watch.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes:  While plenty of complaints about technical issues might be valid, and one could be bothered by the introduction of weirder elements, I enjoy the heck out of this follow-up to the classic.  I like that they don’t simply repeat the original’s story, and make the attempt to do something even more ambitious.  It doesn’t always work, but it’s an interesting attempt.  And that ending.  Nuts.  That’s rough.  The end of the first movie is a brain breaker.  The end of the second is a soul crusher.

    And that was it.  Good food.  Good company.  Good (mostly) movies.  What more could a Dork want?

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (3/30/14-4/5/14)

    Another good week for this dork.  Too many sleepless nights, though.  I can’t believe the insanity of the times we live in.  For dorks like me, this is a wonderful and weird time.  Marvel Comics are hitting the big screen to critical and financial success.  Science fiction movies are starting to be taken somewhat seriously, and there are even occasional good ones.  It’s wild.  But it brings with it some negative elements, too.  I recently went back and watched some classic Doctor Who, just to remind myself why I love that show.  Like late-coming comic fans who claim their favorite superhero is Hawkeye (NOBODY’s favorite hero is Hawkeye!), the new Who has produced a good deal of new fans who make older fans like me feel kind of awkward and uncomfortable.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad the new show is a success, and I love that it’s bringing in new generations of fans.  I am.  I just can’t relate to them.  What they love about the show is not at all what I love about the show.  In fact, more often than not, what they love about the show seems to be the stuff that’s making me less and less of a fan of the new series.  Still, young nerds are our future.  I should remember that.  Anyway, on with the week.

Put the screwdriver away and use your brain!

    Sunday morning, I read the first two volumes of Abe Sapien.  It’s OK.  At best.  For part of the Mignola universe, it’s pretty disappointing.

Grand Hotel:  This pioneering ‘all star cast’ film is full of wit and charm and fun characters.  It’s gorgeously produced and keeps a good pace.  There isn’t a plot, so much as a bunch of characters going through various arcs of their life over a couple of days stay.  From residential folks to temporary guests, the quirks and concerns of people give way to humor and drama.  Everyone is so good, but my personal favorite is John Barrymore, who is so charming and so sad as the down on his luck baron in desperate need of some quick cash.  A must see film.

Doctor Who: Paradise Towers:  Ultra 80s with a strong dose of J.G. Ballard, this is one of the few good stories of the last few years of classic who.  There are gangs, oppressive guards, robots, cannibals, and a cowardly action hero.  I like the look and general vibe, which I’ve said before, reminds me of 2000AD comics.  The late years of Doctor Who make me kind of sad, but this is one of the few bright spots, and so earns some marks.  It’s what Who could have been in the late 80s, as opposed to the lackluster stories that were much more common.

Mulholland Drive:  “It’s been that kind of a day.”  In many ways this film is Lost Highway Redux.  It covers some of the same themes, similar storytelling techniques, and general mood.  The major difference is the lesbian angle, which seems to be what made critics who hated Lost Highway love Mulholland Drive.  It is some wonderful David Lynch madness, and it’s got some great performances and great scenes.  But it doesn’t feel as smooth, or as (I can’t believe I’m going to use this word) coherent.  This is a nightmare turned into a film, and as such, it’s kind of beautiful, but also very frightening in a way horror films rarely are.

Noah:  This never gets as bugnuts crazy as the source material, but it is high myth-fantasy, and as such isn’t bad.  The first two thirds of the film is the best.  Honestly, once the Flood happens (sorry…spoilers) the film drops several gears and I found myself just waiting for the eventual end.  But up to that point, it was entertaining.  I wish the Watchers and that armored dog thing weren’t the only creatures, though.  Jewish myth and a lot of early proto-Christian mysticism has so much crazy I’d have loved to see them attempt.  Where were the Nephilim?  Where were the ‘wheels within wheels and covered in eyes?’  Still, flame-burst swords, drug-trip conversations with the divine, and Rock-Ents.  Oh, yeah.  Drunken Russell Crowe.  Awesome.  Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins play exactly the same character they play in all these historic/fantasy films.  Not great, but not bad.  And easily the best thing Aronofsky has done since The Fountain.

Drink blazing hot redemption, sinners!

The Legacy:  Typical, boring 1970s horror movie, The Legacy features the conspicuous credulity of protagonists that was common in the time.  Everyone seems perfectly willing to simply accept that there’s a witch cult, that they’re doing black magic, and that everyone’s in on it.  No question, no ‘this can’t be happening,’ nothing.  The leads are super dull, and Sam Elliot does NOT work as a romantic interest.  It’s competently shot, but ultimately dull.

Captain America: The First Avenger:  I still wish this movie was a more solid Captain America film, and less of an opening chapter for The Avengers.  I wanted the whole thing to be set during World War II, and for those couple of montages to be spread out into the meat of the film, the battle against Red Skull.  That said, watching it again, and looking at the film as part of a greater whole that Marvel/Disney is building, the film works much better.  That’s something I’m finding interesting about all this crazy business.  They’re making movies that are individually OK, that when taken as a whole are kind of amazing.  All the connections, all the world building, all the ground work being put in place for an ever expanding series of films.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier:  This is a sort of nerd nirvana that is still blowing my mind.  The story in this is OK.  It’s a pale shadow of Ed Brubaker’s Winter Soldier comic, but it’s not bad.  Characters get more time, we see Cap deal with some of the effects of his dislocation in time, and we get many nods to various comic characters and ideas that I need a guide to figure out.  I really enjoyed the addition of Falcon, and I liked him and Cap as a team.  I’m still not really sold on Black Widow in the films.  I don’t know if it’s the actress or the writing, but whatever the case, she’s typically the most iffy part for me.  There’s much more of her in this film, and while not bad, it wasn’t holding my interest.  Which is too bad, since I’d liked her so much in the Captain America comics I read.

Black Plague (aka Anazapata):  “Don’t look at us! There’s none of us can write.”  A kind of run of the mill Medieval mystery/drama.  It’s well made, I suppose, and fairly well produced.  But it’s simply not all that interesting.  And as the movie goes on, you start to realize it’s another one of those movies where all men are monsters and all women their perpetual victims.  And the film isn’t even French.

Moby Dick: “From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee!”  Obsession and madness drive men to their graves in this adaptation of the nautical classic.  Like Joseph Conrad, I’ve never been able to get into reading Melville, but also like Conrad, I find elements of story and theme that resonate, even if the writing doesn’t.  The finale of the film is pretty awesome, and I love the look of the whale and its violence.  However, it felt like the movie was overall, a bit too stodgy, a bit too traditional.  It’s a story that begs for a more Gothic or even Noir style.  I wanted the extremes of the men to be echoed in extremes of design and cinematography.  Instead, the somewhat utilitarian filming seems tone deaf.  That is, except for Orson Welles’s opening sermon and the film’s climax, which are pretty wild.

Dredd:  This is the hardcore, ultra-violent cyberpunk movie I’ve been hungering for since Robocop.  They finally get Dredd right, get his world right, and make a heck of an entertaining movie.  The cast is good, the effects are kind of beautiful, and the violence is crazy…and also beautiful, it its way.  Grim, bloody, and tough as hell.  I love it.  It’s developed quite the cult following since hitting DVD.  Here’s hoping that gets enough attention to get a sequel.  But I doubt it.  Still, we got a proper Judge Anderson, finally.  Even if it is as a rookie.

Forbidden Planet:  I was kickin’ around when this popped up on TCM, and I had to watch it.  Great movie.  I’ve seen it many times before, and I love it every time.

    I had Forbidden Planet on while I was working on my list of hoped for Marvel movies of the future.  And after working on it, and thinking about Captain America 2, I had to put on my copy of Trouble Man.

What if Marvel Madness happened in the 70s?!

Trouble Man:  “T is the last man in this world I want looking for me.”  Mr. T is one seriously bad dude.  He’s got the world on a string, but somebody is looking to start some trouble.  As he unravels the conspiracy, he chews through the underworld.  Robert Hooks is super cool.  This one is right up there, near the top of the list when it comes to great Blaxploitation films.  I don’t know why it isn’t talked about as much as some of the others.  It should be.  See it.

    And that’s it.  This ended up being a bit of a weird week, where plans fell through a couple times, and a lot of stuff ended up playing out differently than I’d expected.  But it all worked out.  And I did finally, finally get a little sleep.  I’m still trying to get more reading done.  After that surge of comic reading last week, I’ve been somewhat lax.  And I really, really need to finish Lord of Light, which I started a dogs age ago.  But it’s tough.  You need to be focused, and I’m not.  Anyway, next week is already shaping up to be a good one.  So, ‘til next time.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (7/7/13-7/13/13)

    A Dork’s lifestyle can be challenging.  Sometimes, one is forced to really reach down and test one’s metal.  By which I mean, I stayed up WAY too late to catch two movies in theaters this week, and I’m darned tired.

True Grit:  “Please don’t fire.”  Ugly people and beautiful landscapes dot this oddly funny but very grim film.  Jeff Bridges is about as ornery an old cuss as ever there was.  It’s a nice epic quest film with a revenge plot woven in.  While the Western genre seems to have gone largely into remission, there are occasional outbreaks of these quality films.  Taking the best of movies of the past, mix it with modern sensibilities and excellent, quality craftsmanship, they rank among the best.  Gone is the Duke, wobbling his way across the screen in his tidy little shirt.  These Westerns feel more lived in.  I like it.

Bend of the River:  Jimmy Stewart is a guide with a shady past, trying to get on with his life.  Farming.  Maybe ranching if he can find some cattle.  Through the wilderness, on a riverboat, against dangerous men, he will do his darnedest to get the wagon train to their new home.  Keep your eye out for a very young Rock Hudson, a not so young Henry Morgan, and the ever cute Julia Adams.

    Sunday night, Brad and I headed up to the AFI so I could finally see one of my all time favorite films on the big screen.  Yes, it started at 7PM, is just shy of 4 hours, and I had to get up at 5AM the next day.  But worth it.

Lawrence of Arabia:  What can I say about Lawrence of Arabia that dozens or hundreds of film critics and fans haven’t already?   Beautiful, grand, sweeping, poetic.  The music, the cinematography, the acting, the script.  It’s a perfect film.  Seeing it on the big screen for the first time was quite a treat.  With the music swelling and the screen encompassing my vision, I could almost feel the sand in my eyes and the Sun on my skin.  I absolutely love watching Peter O’Toole as Lawrence, a weird guy with a grand vision, a madman ready to create a new world.  No surprise to me this film is in my top ten of all time.  Absolutely amazing.

Things to Come:  Many, many years ago, when I first had access to a VCR, I acquired a VHS that had both Metropolis and Things to Come on it.  Metropolis was something for sure.  But this would have been a horribly cut, low quality print (I remember it didn’t even have music).  But Things to Come was a particular revelation.  It felt epic and sprawling, though it’s actually not very long, with several major segments that cover various time periods.  And it combined well with my love of broken civilizations and utopian dreams.  Seeing it again, for the first time in many years on a very nice, cleaned up DVD, I was carried away again.  Raymond Massey is at his Shakespearian best, pumping out grandiose soliloquies in celebration of Human potential and condemnation of those who would hold us back.  I absolutely love this film, and seeing it in such crystal clear quality…Excellent.

Pacific Rim:  I’ve gone on at length about this with co-Dork Brad.  I had a sad realization sometime last year, I guess in the early buildup to this film, that I am actually not a Guillermo del Toro fan.  I thought I was, but I’m not.  I like a couple of his movies, but I’m often more disappointed than anything else.  I am, however, a big kaiju movie fan.  I think, in part because of the trailers and in part because of my del Toro realization, I was not really excited about this film.  CGI monsters don’t thrill me like rubber suits.  And CGI robots even less so.  But, like The Lone Ranger, this movie was much better than the trailers led me to believe.  Yes, the CGI is kind of off-putting, but it looks a heck of a lot better than the Transformers films (I can actually tell what’s happening 90% of the time).  The script is pretty basic (Top Gun).  The actors are fine, I guess.  I don’t think much of Charlie Hunnam.  He’s painfully generic.  But otherwise, it’s pretty good.  The film does capture some of that awe and crazy of classic kaiju.  I do wish more of the movie were like the Tokyo flashback (or Australia footage), which I think is probably the single best bit in the film.  The constant rain and darkness was a bit much.  It’s rated PG-13, but unless your kid is a total wuss, it’s the kind of movie a 9 or 10 year old would LOVE.

Something Weird:  “Do you like…TV acting?”  Well, the title sure fits.  This movie is so awkward and weird.  It looks like old family films from the 60s, hacked and taped together with little sense of story or pacing.  Several shots last way too long.  A whole bunch cut off too early.  The dialog is clunky and painfully delivered.  And the story is nutty…to say the least.  It’s worth watching for sure.  This is the kind of movie MST3K was made for.  So, electricity makes a guy a psychic, he hangs out with a witch, the FBI (or somebody) passes him LSD, and murder.  OK.

Why am I in this movie?!

Flower Drum Song:  “You don’t get ‘em like that over here anymore.”  The first thing that struck me about this film was that the cast is actually Asian, not just a bunch of white people in awkward make-up, as I expected.  It’s an interesting look at generational changes among the Chinese community of San Francisco.  Fresh off the boats, first generation families, second generation kids, and the tensions between them.  Plus lots of songs and 60s glam.  Overall, I was just impressed that a whole cast of Asian actors played well rounded characters in a film that neither fetishized nor dismissed the community.  These were neither the mustache twirling villains, nor the ultra-wise sages.  These were romantic men, lovelorn women, and just normal folk (with singing).

The Far Country:  Jimmy Stewart and a bunch of grizzled old faces get into some problems on the Canadian border.  A corrupt sheriff with too much control over his town, Jack Elam, and lots of folk want Jimmy’s cows.  Some good ruggedness, with Stewart playing a pretty unlikable guy.  Love the scenery.

Summertime:  “We are all that hungry.”  Katharine Hepburn and Rossano Brazzi are ridiculously charming in this beautiful movie.  Hepburn is adorable as the lonely spinster trying desperately to have an exciting adventure abroad.  Brazzi is the classically smooth Italian willing to awaken her passions.  And Venice, with all its pocks, faded colors, and ancient wonders makes for an amazing backdrop.  So nice to see two mature people falling in love in a mature city.  The camera is like another lover, longingly gazing on the actors and the city.

    Capping my week with another David Lean film was nice.  A good ending.  However, on Saturday, I also caught about 10 minutes of The Big Bang Theory.  What’s wrong with you, America?  I’m not going to say it’s the ‘worst show ever’ just that it’s the same show they’ve been doing for decades.  In 10 minutes, I heard jokes going back at least as far as Who’s the Boss?, but probably back to Barney Miller and beyond.  GAH!!!  Anyway, I haven’t been doing too much reading, though I have made it further into my re-read of the Bible.  Reading Genesis is like watching a bully picking on a kid.  “Stop hitting yourself,” God seems to say, as he’s making Man slap himself in the face.  He’s like a kid pulling the wings off of flies, except that he doesn’t just discard the twitching fly when he’s done, he demands that it loves him.  Crazy.  I’m almost through Genesis, so we’ll see what horrors are in store in Exodus soon.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (6/30/13-7/6/13)

    Not an especially grand week, but not a bad one.  Another enjoyable viewing of a classic film on the big screen.  And some other general fun.  To avoid repetition, I will not talk about the weather.

King Eagle:  “You are so kind; but unfortunately we are the evil brothers of Tai Shan, not the benign brothers.”  The opening credits aren’t finished before the second fight starts.  Some petty squabblers wake the dragon and pay the piper.  ’Lone ranger’ King Eagle doesn’t care about you.  He doesn’t care about anyone.  But some people can’t let still waters rest.  They just keep poking until he kills them all.  Assassins and warriors in the know won’t help.  They know what’s up.  Overall, it’s nothing to write home about, but a perfectly adequate Shaw Bros. movie if you’re looking for one to watch.

Godzilla:  Another day, another trip to the Alamo Drafthouse.  This time to see the original Godzilla (no Raymond Burr).  Had a great time.  The movie is an interesting glimpse into the post-War mindset of Japan.  I found little bits especially effecting, like the guy who just didn’t want to evacuate again.  It’s a good flick that takes its subject quite seriously.  Later movies would get pretty crazy, generally moving away from the whole ‘shadow of the bomb’ thing.  But this first one is quite a thing.

The Lone Ranger:  Who would have guessed this film would become one of my favorite of the year.  Yes, I’ve been a Johnny Depp fan for some time, and I’ve liked several of Gor Verbinski’s movies.  But I have never been a Lone Ranger fan and thought the movie looked dreadful.  But it’s all kinds of surreal fun, with a very dark and strange sense of humor and plenty of exciting stunts.  It’s a bit overlong, and does go off the rails (before literally getting back on them) at one point.  The cast does a fine job.  Depp isn’t doing one of his Tim Burton performances.  Yes, it’s weird.  But not annoying and stupid like his work with Burton.  All that crazy stuff with the horse and the rabbits?  Bonkers.  But bonkers funny.  It’s clear America wasn’t looking forward to this film, and I sure as heck wasn’t.  However, it’s pretty danged fun and well worth a watch.  Much better than other summer action fare, like Iron Man 3, White House Down, Man of Steel and some others.

Ghidorah The Three-Headed Monster:  All kinds of crazy is descending on Japan, and the worst of it is Ghidorah, a giant, three headed, golden dragon with erratic space lightening shooting every which way.  He’s so danged powerful, it takes the heroic Mothra, the cantankerous Godzilla, and …Rodan to drive him off.  In the meantime, a pretty young princess is possessed, a plucky reporter is on the job, and a dull cop is ready to save the day.  This is full-on crazy Kaiju action, but like a lot of these movies, it spends a good deal of time building to the action, getting to know a few characters and letting the tension mount.  This is on the better end of the Toho monster movie spectrum, though I do miss Anguirus.  It just doesn’t feel right to fight Ghidorah without him.

     I finished up Scrivener's Moon, the last book in Philip Reeve's new Traction City trilogy.  Good stuff.

Drive Angry:  “I want you to holster that iron god-killer and say ‘thank you.’”  That this movie hasn’t been embraced by the general public is beyond me.  It’s a world of bent genius.  Just amazing.  Boobs, guns, cars, explosions, and cussing like drunken sailors.  Nic Cage looks like he’s having a blast.  Amber Heard is surprisingly fun as the feisty chick he’s traveling with.  But William Fichtner is the real standout as Hell’s accountant.  Just a heck of a lot of fun.  Awesome.

Red:  “Moldova sucks!”  A darned funny, stupid, and action packed movie about a bunch of ex-government sanctioned action heroes being pulled back into the fire.  Everyone seems to be having the time of their lives, gleefully spouting mad-bastard dialog and blazing away with heavy weapons.  Honestly, if nothing else, it’s worth checking out just to see Helen Mirren wearing a classy dress, firing a huge machine gun.  Whatever the case, the movie isn’t going to change the world, but it’s a lot of stupid fun.

Doctor Who: The Reign of Terror:  Trying to drop off Barbara and Ian, the Doctor and companions end up in the past of France, and plenty of trouble.  The French Revolution is not a time period I’m especially interested in, and the story doesn’t have a lot of new to say about it.  Not one of the more interesting Hartnell tales.  The animated sequence is pretty well done, and I hope they do more for the episodes where the video is missing.

    So, for the first time in a good deal of years I decided to read the Bible.  Perhaps one might think it an odd thing for an atheist, but it is an important work of literature if nothing else.  And so far, I would have to say, not much else.  Working my way through Genesis, it’s such a hodge-podge of messy old wives tales that it’s hard to pull out a narrative.  There are some interesting images, but it’s all so vague.  Reminds me of reading Gilgamesh.  The idea that people would think this stuff was anything but the mythology of Bronze Age savages is beyond me, but people believe in homeopathy and crystals.  So who knows?

-Matt