Matt’s Week in Dork! (9/28/14-10/4/14)

    In spite of a couple gaps in the Dork Life, this was a fine week, made all the better by HestFest 2014, the annual celebration of Charlton Heston.  Along with a couple visits to The Alamo for some classic cinema, it made for a solid week.

Robocop:  “Guns, guns, guns!”  Awesome Cyberpunk, ultra 80s, super-violent, subversive as heck, and just a heck of a lot of fun.  The script is tight, the performances are tip-top.  Kurtwood Smith is especially good as the gang leader in the pocket of an evil exec.  He’s clearly having all kinds of fun, reveling in sneering line-reading.  A must see.

    I tried out the recent (turns out, already canceled) Crossbones.  It wasn’t good enough to care, or bad enough to entertain.  I won’t be bothering to watch on, and not even because I know it ends prematurely.

Johnny Guitar:  “Down there I sell whiskey and cards.  All you can buy up these stairs is a bullet in the head.”  Not at all the Western you think you’re gonna get.  A lot of the usual elements are all introduced, but where things go is less than usual.  With Noir styled, ‘hard boiled’ dialog, unexpected turns, and all kinds of hate poring out of the screen, it’s one to seek out.

    On Friday night, Ben came over for the beginning, the preamble if you will, of HestFest.  It was a more low-key evening and a good start to the weekend.

Two-Minute Warning:  Charlton Heston and John Cassavetes have to stop a sniper at the Super Bowl.  It’s paced and written like a typical disaster film from the time, with several random characters coming together while something bad looms.  While not a classic, it’s good.

Planet of the Apes:  One of the greats.  My eighth favorite, in fact.  This movie has so much going on, it takes multiple viewings to pick up on a lot of it.  Of course some of it is pretty obvious, but some not as much.  One of these days I’ll do a more scholarly (ha!), extended review.  But if you haven’t seen it, it’s a classic for a reason.  Planet of the Apes transcends genre, and like the best fiction, it tells some serious truth.

    Saturday morning, I started up my annual journey into madness,  the real deal, HestFest.  I’m not sure exactly how long I’ve been doing this.  It’s been a long time.  I think it started back in or around 1999, so I’m starting to think of it as the 15th anniversary.  But it might have been earlier.  Over the years, it’s varied in success, but it’s always been fun.  More recently, since briefly rooming with co-Dork Brad a few years ago, it’s become a more ‘serious’ endeavor.  No longer just a couple friends, a bag of chips, and a bottle of soda while we sit down to two or three Heston favorites.  No, now it’s a day long (plus) party with themed foods, gifts, a raffle, etc.  A madhouse.  A MAD HOUSE!

Charlton Heston Presents Genesis:  This was much better than I anticipated.  Heston talks generally about the Bible, then reads various excerpts of the Book of Genesis.  He wanders around the Holy Land, walking the area in which the book is set.  The film serves as a reminder that only a short time ago, civil discussion about religion didn’t seem so alien.

The Greatest Story Ever Told:  If this movie was half as long, and had 90% less sanctimonious mic dropping from Jesus, this would be a pretty cool fantasy film.  That they used the American West as a backdrop lends a sort of surreal vibe to the familiar story.  And Charlton Heston’s caveman preacher, John the Baptist is wildly wonderful.  There are some great scenes, to be sure.  But the film is well over three hours long, and by the time Heston exits, it starts to feel like the post-chariot race Ben Hur.  And the fact of the matter is, in this film, Jesus is absolutely insufferable.  I love Max Van Sydow, but he makes you want to kick his teeth in with his cloying, condescending self-righteousness.

Skyjacked:  Totally bonkers, this movie is a heck of a lot of fun.  All the silly tropes come rolling out and get an almost exploitation treatment.  James Brolin is wonderfully over the top.  It’s all goofy, but very watchable.

    Brad and I were in for the long haul and Rebecca joined us at about the point Jesus was getting done in, but around the end of Skyjacked, people started coming in.  I played an old live TV thing called A Bolt of Lightning as we got food and said hello.

Earthquake:  One of my favorite, if not my favorite, disaster films, Earthquake is a sprawling movie with subplots to spare.  George Kennedy is especially awesome as the bitter, but eventually heroic cop.  There’s family melodrama, a kid in a coma, a creepy rapist with a gun, and a whole lot of shakin’ going on.

Airport 1975:  “The stewardess is flying the plane!”  I wish this movie was less dull.  There are some good bits and some fun moments.  But I could have used a bit more sleaze, a bit more silly.  It takes itself so danged serious.  Still, a fun group watch.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes:  While plenty of complaints about technical issues might be valid, and one could be bothered by the introduction of weirder elements, I enjoy the heck out of this follow-up to the classic.  I like that they don’t simply repeat the original’s story, and make the attempt to do something even more ambitious.  It doesn’t always work, but it’s an interesting attempt.  And that ending.  Nuts.  That’s rough.  The end of the first movie is a brain breaker.  The end of the second is a soul crusher.

    And that was it.  Good food.  Good company.  Good (mostly) movies.  What more could a Dork want?

-Matthew J. Constantine

Matt’s Week in Dork! (12/15/13-12/21/13)

    Other than getting out to see a movie with Ben on Sunday morning, I spent much of this week either at work, or half passed out on my couch.  The holidays are not a good time for anyone who works in corporate retail.  And I’m no exception.  Physically and emotionally brutalizing, it’s left me with little ambition but to snack and veg in front of the TV, wishing I could sleep.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug:  The second film in the unnecessarily overblown adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic fantasy novel for kids is OK, but not as tight or dramatically packed as the Lord of the Rings trilogy of films, or even as much as the first Hobbit film.  It’s still watchable, and as I’ve brought up several times with friends, I really like Peter Jackson’s take on the setting, and would be completely willing to come back every few years for a new entry.  A Silmarillion trilogy?  I’m there.  Children of Hurin?  Sure.  Those words scrawled on napkins and receipts and backs of business cards that Christopher Tolkien keeps mining to release new books?  Yeah.  I’ll watch movies of those, too.  I also don’t mind the addition of characters this film features.  It doesn’t get in the way, and provides for some elements of surprise.  And as with Jackson’s other adaptations, the spirit remains true, even if the exact content doesn’t (often for the better…Tom Bombidil, I’m looking at you…or more importantly and thankfully, I’m not looking at you).  I have three basic complaints about the film, and none of them are deal breakers.  First, there is some serious tightening to be done in a few spots.  Second, and related, several action scenes go on for far too long and aren’t especially well done.  None are as unneeded and poorly executed as the canyon chase from Jackson’s King Kong (a movie I otherwise love, but that scene...oh, man...), but they could be trimmed/cut for the better of the whole.  And last, but not least, the end credit song is bloody awful.  I don’t love the credit songs from these movies, overall.  But this is the first one I straight-up dislike.  The singer sounds like ass and the song is far, far too modern.  It doesn’t work.  So, this second Hobbit movie is, as expected, more of the same; and I’m OK with that.  With about 20 minutes cut out, mostly from the action bits, it would have been much better.  Well, maybe cut some of Orlando Bloom and his weird CG'ed face.

Man of Tai Chi:  An OK movie about a young, impatient student of Tai Chi who becomes a sensation in the world of underground, illegal fight clubs.  There’s some kind of conspiracy, an intrepid police officer, and a shadowy villain in the form of Keanu Reeves.  Nothing ground breaking or amazing here.  But there are some pretty good fights and I always like seeing Karen Mok in a non-comic role.  It’s not that good, but it’s worth a watch if you’re in the mood for a fight flick and don’t have anything in mind.

Gargoyles:  I have to give ‘em credit for making the attempt.  And the movie doesn’t play out in the way you expect from something like this.  The monsters are just sort of matter of fact, showing up and doing their thing, without much mystery or magic.  But the movie is also not all that exciting.  It is never able to rise above its made for TV look and feel.  I don’t know that it’s a good idea, but this feels like it could use a remake.  Del Toro?

"Technically, I'm a Grotesque."

Upstream Color:  Featuring hot foley artist action, this well prepared plate of What the Hell? is brain-breakingly weird.  Like the best independent science fiction films, it demands careful thought, conversation, and likely repeat viewing(s).  What’s going on?  Who’s the pig farmer-foley artist?  What are the secrets in the pages of Walden?  What the heck did that guy pull out of that woman?  And did he put it in a pig?  Darned strange, and demanding.  And beautiful.  Fascinating.  I guess I can’t be too surprised that this is from the guy who did Primer, probably the best time travel film ever made.

    In the middle of the week I finished Sam Harris’s new book, Lying.  Like his book, The Moral Landscape, it sure gives plenty of food for thought on living a better life, both for yourself and those around you.

A Matter of Life and Death:  A darned peculier, but also darned fine film from the little spoken of masters Pressburger and Powell.  It’s kind of hard to talk about the film, at least in a sense of its story or plot.  What I can say is that it’s gorgeously shot and makes interesting use of Technicolor and black & white.  In many places, the film feels very modern, while in others very much of its time.  And it’s all profoundly British.  Highly recommended.  This should be seen.

The White Dove:  A surreal film, in many ways almost a silent film, The White Dove is filled with interesting images and crazy experimental sounding music.  I love the sequences with the artist as he tries various means of expressing himself.  I don’t know that I ever understood the stuff with the girl on the beach, though some of it was beautiful.  Where was the wheelchair bound kid’s parents?  I don’t know.  Overall, nice to look at, and generally pleasant.  But also darned odd.

Byzantium:  Vampires suck.  They’re boring and played out.  However, this movie is enjoyable, thanks in large part to the cast and direction.  It feels rooted in Hammer Horror, dripping with Gothic atmosphere, but not cheesy.  It’s a fascinating movie and very pretty to look at.  This would probably make a good companion film to Let the Right One In (or the remake, Let Me In).

The Seventh Seal:  Probably Ingmar Bergman’s most famous and popular film (Stateside, anyway), this Medieval meditation on the nature and meaning of life and death is beautifully shot and filled with meaning.  It’s on the strange side of Bergman’s work, but is more approachable than The Magician.

Jaws:  Though this movie never features on my favorites lists, nor is it a go-to watch, every time I do catch it, even in part, I’m reminded of just how darned good it is.  The characters, the tension, the little human moments; it all comes together.  The relentless, almost supernatural horror of the shark, lurking always under the surface.  Intense.  In some ways, this movie reminds me of The Thing.  Partially it’s the seclusion, but it’s also the group of unique men, thrust together and forced to deal with some unprecedented horror.  And like The Thing, there are lots of moments where the actors are able to raise the film above what’s in the script.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (11/17/13-11/23/13)

    I’ve continued to enjoy the heck out of my Criterion viewing, getting in another 5 this week (though Kiss Me Deadly is available from Criterion, I saw it on the big screen, not on disk).  It’s been interesting seeing a bunch of various classic and art films, stuff I’ve heard of but never seen.  And I think I can say that I’ve become something of an Ingmar Bergman fan.  I’m surprised at how grounded and relatable most of his movies are.  When people mentioned his name, I imagined movies like The Magician, which were surreal, vague, and obtuse.  But the movies I’ve seen have been quite earthy, even if the framing and staging has been artificial.  And this week took Brad, Ben, and I out to the AFI Silver for a screening of one of my favorite movies, so that was nice.  But the week started with the awesome Fantastic Fest tour at the Alamo Drafthouse.  Sadly, because of scheduling, neither Brad nor I were able to see any of the earlier screenings, but Sunday we got to see three movies back to back.

Confession of Murder:  Oh, Korean film industry.  You sure put out a lot of vaguely interesting, but ultimately boring films.  I love the cast, and I think they do a great job.  The plot twists aren’t especially interesting, however, or particularly ‘twisty.’  And the pacing is brutally, grindingly slow.  I was shocked to find out it was under two hours, as the last third of the movie seemed to drag and drag and drag.  And there were several places where not only could the movie have ended, but the movie absolutely should have ended (that POV flashback would have been the perfect fade to credits for a very emotionally devastating ending…but it kept going…).  The subplot about the victim’s family trying to do a kidnapping caper bloats the film, adding virtually nothing to the overall piece except excruciating runtime.  The movie would have been stronger (not to mention mercifully shorter) without any of that.  And the CGI action bits looked like crap.  There.  I said it.  The action looked like crap.  And this is an action movie.  So that’s not good.  Overall, it was OK.  But it wasn’t especially good.  And it continues an almost unbroken stream of disappointments from Korea, for this film viewer.  I think The Good, The Bad, The Weird remains the only Korean film I really like (OK, and maybe The Warrior’s Way).

Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons:  This martial arts fantasy film is fitfully funny, wildly zany, and surprisingly good.  I’m generally not a fan of comedy films from China, but Stephen Chow does a pretty good job with humor that crosses cultural boundaries.  I wasn’t a huge fan of Shaolin Soccer, but it was solid, and Kung Fu Hustle is fantastic.  This movie takes on the Journey to the West’s early stages in a way I’ve never seen done before (granted, I’ve only seen maybe 5 or 6 variations on the classic tale, and I know there are many more).  I enjoyed the story, the cast of characters, and the very bent sense of humor.  It’s nasty, weird, funny, and freaky.  It’s also got a very fun performance from one of my favorites, Shu Qi.  This may be the most cracked and over the top she’s ever been, and it was great.

Why Don’t You Play in Hell?:  OK, look.  I’m not much of a Japanese film fan.  Certainly not when it comes to the last 30 years or so.  It’s a lot of things, from the pacing, to the repetitiveness, to the frequently squandered intriguing ideas.  And ‘gonzo’ Japanese films hold very little interest.  So, take that in to account when I say, “holy f’in nuts, this movie is one of the craziest, most insanely fun things I’ve seen.”  It’s almost impossible to explain what the movie is like.  You’ve just got to see it.  I’ve watched a trailer that shows some scenes, but it’s not even the tip of the iceberg of how batshit the film actually is.  And the cast takes each bit of madness and runs with it.  They sell it.  The mob bosses?  Awesome.  The filmmakers?  Awesome.  The poor schlub?  Awesome.  It’s hallucinatory.  It’s repulsive.  It’s profane.  And it had me in stitches throughout.  I don’t know what I’m going to call it, but I feel like this and movies like Crank and Crank 2 need to have their own subgenre.  If I could put in writing, Henry Silva’s pre-murder scream from Sharky’s Machine; that’s what I’d call it.

Dallas Buyers Club:  A depressing, but also somewhat uplifting film about a hard partying hick who gets the AIDS and learns some valuable lessons.  It’s well acted, well shot, and doesn’t feel overlong.  It also doesn’t feel the need to go into too much detail, or obsess over the unimportant elements, as many ‘true story’ films do.  It’s probably one of the better films of 2013, though I can’t claim it as one of my favorites.  While a fine film, I don't see myself ever watching it again.

Through a Glass Darkly:  A family getaway brings out some old wounds, as four damaged people come together and try to deal with their various issues.  A writer who has ignored his family, an emotionally immature young man, a woman descending into madness, and her put-upon husband.  Each has secrets and desires to get out, each must face personal demons.  Bergman puts family drama against the stark beauty of a vacation spot, and shoots it all in stark black & white.

Au Hasard Balthazar:  Not at all the movie I was expecting.  Not even the kind of movie I was expecting.  The only thing that could make this more stereotypically French would be for it to smell like piss and constantly insult you.  The characters all suck, everyone’s a scumbag, and there’s a donkey.  A slow girl is the object of lust.  Pointlessly rebellious young people act like turds.  It’s unpleasant, and ultimately detached.  Blah.

Winter Light:  Holy flippin’ crap, this is a danged dark film.  A pastor who has lost his way struggles with his lack of faith, while destroying the lives of those around him.  He’s such a humorless and monstrous human being that it’s hard to sympathize with him at all.  You end up feeling a lot more for the folks around him, who try so hard to reach him.

Kiss Me Deadly:  Thanks to the AFI Silver, I got to see this new favorite on the big screen.  When I first saw this film in 2012, it was a bolt from heaven.  Mike Hammer is a monster.  A dirty, violent, brutal monster.  His vacant grin while he crushes a man’s fingers; his slapping of a fragile old man; whatever he did to Sugar Smallhouse that made Charlie Max loose his nerve.  And yeah, Hammer is the ‘hero.’  He just can’t stop pulling at the threads that will bring about a revelation and an apocalyptic ending.  It’s hard to explain the movie.  You’ve just got to see it.  And when it goes where it goes, get ready to have to pick your jaw up off the floor.

Ministry of Fear:  A man leaves an institution after many years, only to immediately get wrapped up in a strange conspiracy of Nazis and cake.  Or is he mad?  A twisting, turning story of paranoia and ever threatening danger.  Those danged Nazis might be anywhere.  The movie is beautifully shot, stylish in that Lang way, and convoluted and weird.  The rooftop shootout is wild, and the ending is nuts.

Dragonwyck:  “Every now and then, you say ‘golly.’”  A pretty young woman goes to live in a colossal mansion as a sort of governess.  But all is not as it seems, and the house is hardly a home.  Gene Tierney is the plucky woman.  Vincent Price is the rather dastardly, snooty master of the house.  Conflict between classes, between the moneyed families and the salt of the Earth farm folk are just the tip of the Gothic iceberg.  It’s sort of a higher budget precursor to Price’s later work in Poe adaptations for Roger Corman.

Murder, My Sweet:  “It ain’t personal.  We don’t like you.  But it ain’t personal.”  I like the script, but Dick Powell, while likable, doesn’t feel right as a hardboiled detective.  It’s a solid noir, but not an amazing one.  It’s worth checking out, and has some of those great little Noir quips.  But Powell is a bit goofy.

Pandora’s Box:  Everyone wants a bit of Louise Brooks, and generally, she’s willing to share.  And that’s where the problems begin.  Everyone seems to love her, but she just wants to have fun.  This leads to wild parties, marriage, murder, messing about, and all the things a woman gets up to when she’s not barefoot and making babies.  Louise Brooks plays a flapper-monster, but somehow remains charming.  She’s not the kind of aggravating Betty Boop of Clara Bow.  She seems like she’s got more going on behind her eyes, and that she may just be the evil the courts think she is.

    That’s about it this week.  But hey, Fantastic Fest at the Alamo and a trip the AFI mean this was a good week for this Dork.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (11/3/13-11/9/13)

    As the year draws to a close, I’m trying to see some of the various movies I missed for whatever reason.  But, as each one kind of sucks, I’ve also been descending more and more into my obsession with old films.

The Big Combo:  Rough, tough, and mean.  The Big Combo has the requisite cracking Noir dialog, ugly brutality, and dripping (though obscured) sexuality.  It even features gay hitmen (though it never comes out and says as much, it’s quite clear) played by Lee Van Cleef and Earl Holliman.  Cornell Wilde is the sucker.  Richard Conte is the smarmy villain.  Great stuff.

    On Sunday night, as I was recovering from HestFest, Brad and I went out to the Alamo Drafthouse to see Gilda.

Gilda:  My second viewing of Gilda, no doubt effected by seeing it on the big screen, made me enjoy it much more than my first time ‘round.  The dialog is awesome, with Glenn Ford so amazingly hateful and cruel.  Rita Hayworth is obviously gorgeous, but she’s also delightfully nasty.  And their constant war of words, looks, and implications is a joy to watch.  Unfortunately, the last third of the film, though it features some cool scenes, goes way off the reservation, dropping the overall quality of the film.  It feels like studio interference.  Still, a good movie.

Doctor Who: Survival:  And I’m done.  Gah.  The final story of the classic Doctor Who series is one of the better of the Sylvester McCoy era (even though it features The Master).  But that still only puts it up there as a mid-level arc.  I completely understand why the show was cancelled, and why its popularity had slumped.  From the last season of Colin Baker to the end, there are few rays of light.  This one features horse mounted cat people and some listless British youth.  It’s also quite short, being only three episodes long.  So, it doesn’t outstay its welcome.  For the last couple years, I’ve been on a quest to rewatch Doctor Who from beginning to end, in as close to order as I could do (what with the gaps and with stories being released after I’d passed that point), and it’s been fun.  But I’ll admit, the last four years of the show are, for the most part, really awful.  And I’m more and more convinced that many of the worst aspects of the new series were birthed during this time.

The Virgin Spring:  Stark, beautiful, haunting, disturbing, and maybe a bit challenging.  The Virgin Spring deals with Paganism, Christianity, savagery, and the sublime.  It features one of the most horrendous and squirm-inducing rapes ever put to film.  The cast is excellent.  The cinematography is gorgeous.  A fine film, but not an easy one.

The Purge:  When I talk about ‘what’s wrong with modern horror’ I’m talking about this film.  Or, this film is exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about.  Here’s a pretty solid idea for a movie (if 30 years too late to feel relevant); society was on the verge of collapse, due to rampant crime, so a radical change was made, creating a once a year suspension of the law.  For one twelve hour period each year, people can do whatever they want, kill whoever they want.  Reveling in this violence isn’t just accepted, it’s considered a person’s patriotic duty.  OK.  Cool.  This could be the basis of something really good (and was, in a classic Trek episode).  Unfortunately, the script feels like it didn’t get much beyond the rough draft phase.  The characters aren’t even nuanced enough to be one dimensional.  And every time anything is about to happen, you’ll find yourself saying, ‘ah, here’s is the scene where they do this thing.’  Everyone is exceptionally stupid, doing the dumbest thing at the worst time in order to move the plot along.  And that right there is the key problem with most horror films made since the end of the 80s.  Lazy writing has created an industry standard that allows for characters to do whatever the writer needs to get the action going.  X person is perfectly safe, with no danger of ever being hurt whatsoever, as long as they just don’t turn that knob…so, what’s the first thing they do?  Yup.  Turn the knob.  EVERY TIME.  I’m so sick of this bad writing.  So sick of it.  And if that wasn’t enough, the whole film is shot…say it with me…hand held.  Yes, that’s right.  Everyone’s favorite; the shaky cam.  Are you tired of being able to tell what’s going on?  Are you sick of having some frame of reference?  Well, worry no longer, this movie jitters and shakes, while someone having a seizure waves a flashlight, so you’ll have no friggin clue what’s happening.  Yay!

Here comes the suck.

The Magician:  I need to watch this movie again, as I was half passed out during much of it, but the film is certainly odd.  I’m still fairly new to Bergman, having only seen three of his films to date.  And this one feels more like The Seventh Seal than like The Virgin Spring, a bit more surreal and ‘theatric.’  There were some things I liked, and it warrants a second look.  So in a year or so, I think I’ll try watching it again, and see if I like it more then.

World War Z:  I would absolutely hate to think that the collection of morons and twits they assembled in this film might be in some way responsible for saving civilization.  Every stupid-ass choice, dumb decision, and foolish move seems to be the first done.  Bloody idiots.  Getting past the obvious moronic choice of the producers to abandon the book (which probably could have made a compelling basis for a film), and the appalling CGI zombie ant-swarm effects, and the crappy PG-13 pseudo-violence, I can not get past how idiotic everyone is, and how kinda boring the whole thing ends up being.

Renoir:  “He always makes me look like a girl.”  The Great War is raging, and old painter Renoir is hold up in his beautiful rural home, painting and torturing himself over his two sons who are off at war.  It is strange to see the idyllic setting and the sad, out of touch old man, knowing the horrors that were raging.  Family conflicts and old wounds are observed by a new model who arrives at the direction of Renoir’s recently dead wife.  The movie is quiet and quite beautiful, the gorgeous countryside and the stately old home make me wish I’d stuck with painting.

Summer Interlude:  “Nothing means anything in the long run.”  A successful, but aging dancer (they get ‘old’ while still quite young) is haunted by the wonderful and sad memories of a Summer spent on an idyllic island.  Her fickle, petulant younger self had a sweet, but also brutal love affair with a serious young man.  The scenery is amazing, the wistful look back at vacationing drips with nostalgia, the mistakes we make when we’re young, and the regrets we have when we get older.  It’s tragic, sad, and beautiful.

I Married a Witch:  “Did you ever have one of those days when just…nothing seems to go right?”  An odd, madcap comedy.  I can’t say it’s great, but it’s sure weird.  A goofy old warlock and his daughter who were stuck in a tree for a couple centuries get unleashed on the modern world, and hijinks ensue.  Not sure that it deserves a place as a great classic, but it’s a fun, light entertainment.

    Other than doing some more general reading of this and that, that was my week.  Not especially exciting, but not completely unpleasant.  The biggest thing was when I finished the run of classic Doctor Who.  Though the end of the series was pretty bad, thinking back over the whole run reminded me of a lot of the great stuff.

-Matt