Matt’s Week in Dork! (7/21/13-7/27/13)

    A slow start, but a nice finish.  Good week.

Red 2:  Not quite as cute or charming as the first film, this sequel still dishes out morbid humor and silly action aplenty.  Everyone seems to be having a good time, and they sure go to a lot of nice places.  But the tension never quite ratchets up, and the plot feels a bit too meandering.  Still, not a bad sequel and worth watching if you enjoyed the first film.

MST3K: The Incredible Melting Man:  “Don’t shoot!  I’m Ted Nelson!”  One of my favorite episodes, Mike and the Bots rip into a truly dreadful movie.  Another ‘guy goes into space and comes back a monster’ movie.  It’s great.  They’re all on fire as they unload with both barrels.

Your Highness:  “Just punch the top and twist it.”  A very, very crass fantasy film about a crappy prince and his dashing brother on a quest to rescue a pretty girl from a devil wizard, it‘s often uncomfortably funny.  Pot smoking, butt sexing, and all kinds of goofing.  Great actors team up with not so great actors to abuse decency.  And I love it.

Night Passage:  Jimmy used to be bad, but now he just wants to play the accordion and maybe work for the railroad.  But he’s got a history and history has a way of creeping up on you.  There’s nothing especially amazing about this Western, but it’s solid and well made.  Nice character actors and a good action resolution.  Worth checking out.

River of No Return:  I just don’t go for Marilyn Monroe, and that’s a large part of what this movie is pushing.  She’s charming enough, I guess.  And Robert Mitchum is nicely terse.  Their adventure together doesn’t break a lot of new ground, but it’s good clean fun.  That is, until the attempted rape (“I didn‘t mean it.”  What?!).  The blue-screen work, though.  She ain’t so good.  Overall, a good but not great Western.

    I read the current issue of the magazine Classic Images, because it had an extensive article on one of my new favorite classic actresses, Ruth Chatterton.  Annoyingly, many of the movies the article picked out as being especially good are not on NetFlix and are going to require deeper searching and perhaps pocket digging.  There was also a good write-up on the recently deceased character actor R.G. Armstrong.  It prompted me to queue up a few more of his films, and kept my Western thing alive (I’ve been on a bit of a Western kick lately…though I’m not gonna try to do an official month or anything).

Queen Christina:  “Must we live for the dead.”  A bawdy tale of a tomboy queen who loves her country, desires peace, and wants to love on her own terms.  But duty drives.  Garbo exudes life, lusty and joyous.  The sequence at the inn, with the shared room, the discovery, and the aftermath are totally worth the price of admission.  And my goodness, somehow she makes eating grapes look like the most intensely sexually charged act.  It felt like something too intimate to be watching.  Crazy.  Though the overall movie isn’t amazing, it’s a very fun film.  I wish there was more to the third act, I guess.  I don’t know.  Events just sort of happen and then it’s over, without much heart.  But the first two thirds of the film are great.

    Friday night we ended up using a kind of fill-in book for our graphic novel club, Locke & Key, which was pretty last minute and surprisingly seemed to win everyone over.  This marks only the second time (I think), where everyone was in agreement and happy with the book (the first was Blacksad).

Bridget Jones’s Diary:  “Oh f*%$ I love Keats.”  A cute romantic comedy about several broken people struggling through love.  There’s nothing especially new or interesting, but the cast is charming and there are some good bits.  I appreciate the liberal F-bomb dropping.  One thing that is perhaps a bit disturbing is that Jones is supposed to be/feel fat.  I remember a lot was made of Renee Zellweger putting on weight for the role.  But she looks perfectly normal.  Not plump.  Just normal.  If she were any thinner, she’d look weird.

Disgusting. She must be an almost healthy weight. For shame.

Nick Carter: Master Detective:  A short, fairly uneventful mystery about saboteurs at an aviation plant, this is more fun as a time capsule of a paranoid era when all foreign people were trying to destroy America.  Vague, unnamed organizations with evil on the mind and limitless resources and personnel have infiltrated…well everything.  Nobody can be trusted…except maybe old, creepy beekeepers.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone:  “Nope…You’re a dude.”  There are some very funny bits in this mostly by the numbers comedy.  Nothing especially shocking or new, but an OK outing for all the cast, who seem to be having a fun time.  Jim Carry hams it up, as usual, and I could have dealt with about 60% less of his character.  Otherwise it was fine.

    On Saturday night, Lisa, Brad, and I headed to the AFI Silver to see Phantasm and Phantasm II (yeah, I’ve seen Phantasm II on the big screen…I can honestly say I never expected that to be a thing I could say).  The first film was presented by local celebrity movie presenter and commentator Count Gore De Vol.  Much fun was had.

Phantasm:  It doesn’t get a heck of a lot weirder than Phantasm.  Not just because it’s a horror movie that’s really a science fiction movie…maybe.  Not just because it features rabid jawas, flying spheres with drills and blades, a stripper-hooker who might also be a cold hating Tall Man, a giggling old seer, a kick-ass ice cream man, and a tuning fork dimensional gateway.  No, not just for those things.  It’s also so jarringly edited and aggressively scored that it never lets you rest, never lets you get your bearing, and never lets you in on quite what the hell is going on.  And it’s great.  The music is completely over the top, the acting ranging from stiff to wooden, and the story…well, it’s complicated.  But somehow, it all works when it really has no right to.  I’ve mentioned this before, but if the stars are right, Cthulhu walks the Earth, and we have become as the Old Ones (read: a shift in reality big enough to put me in control of a Hollywood motion picture), Phantasm is one of the properties I would absolutely love to get my grubby little hands on (along with Hellraiser and The Creature from the Black Lagoon).  Reggie, man.  Reggie.

Phantasm II:  The sequel has some issues, but is still quite cool.  Part of the charm of this series is its rampant continuity confusion, and this film has it aplenty.  But the wacky editing is gone, making the film less uncomfortable and challenging.  The idea of the Tall Man and his dwarfs is expanded a bit, and the hints of a greater, growing disaster facing the world begin to drop (laying the groundwork for III and IV).  Reggie takes up the mantle of badassery.  And the music continues to be a major part of the experience.  Overall, not as good as the first film, though it is more professionally made and of more consistent quality.

Reggie's makin' friends.

    That’s about it.  Still listening to a bunch of Prog Rock.  Still poking at the Bible and trying to get more reading in.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (6/30/13-7/6/13)

    Not an especially grand week, but not a bad one.  Another enjoyable viewing of a classic film on the big screen.  And some other general fun.  To avoid repetition, I will not talk about the weather.

King Eagle:  “You are so kind; but unfortunately we are the evil brothers of Tai Shan, not the benign brothers.”  The opening credits aren’t finished before the second fight starts.  Some petty squabblers wake the dragon and pay the piper.  ’Lone ranger’ King Eagle doesn’t care about you.  He doesn’t care about anyone.  But some people can’t let still waters rest.  They just keep poking until he kills them all.  Assassins and warriors in the know won’t help.  They know what’s up.  Overall, it’s nothing to write home about, but a perfectly adequate Shaw Bros. movie if you’re looking for one to watch.

Godzilla:  Another day, another trip to the Alamo Drafthouse.  This time to see the original Godzilla (no Raymond Burr).  Had a great time.  The movie is an interesting glimpse into the post-War mindset of Japan.  I found little bits especially effecting, like the guy who just didn’t want to evacuate again.  It’s a good flick that takes its subject quite seriously.  Later movies would get pretty crazy, generally moving away from the whole ‘shadow of the bomb’ thing.  But this first one is quite a thing.

The Lone Ranger:  Who would have guessed this film would become one of my favorite of the year.  Yes, I’ve been a Johnny Depp fan for some time, and I’ve liked several of Gor Verbinski’s movies.  But I have never been a Lone Ranger fan and thought the movie looked dreadful.  But it’s all kinds of surreal fun, with a very dark and strange sense of humor and plenty of exciting stunts.  It’s a bit overlong, and does go off the rails (before literally getting back on them) at one point.  The cast does a fine job.  Depp isn’t doing one of his Tim Burton performances.  Yes, it’s weird.  But not annoying and stupid like his work with Burton.  All that crazy stuff with the horse and the rabbits?  Bonkers.  But bonkers funny.  It’s clear America wasn’t looking forward to this film, and I sure as heck wasn’t.  However, it’s pretty danged fun and well worth a watch.  Much better than other summer action fare, like Iron Man 3, White House Down, Man of Steel and some others.

Ghidorah The Three-Headed Monster:  All kinds of crazy is descending on Japan, and the worst of it is Ghidorah, a giant, three headed, golden dragon with erratic space lightening shooting every which way.  He’s so danged powerful, it takes the heroic Mothra, the cantankerous Godzilla, and …Rodan to drive him off.  In the meantime, a pretty young princess is possessed, a plucky reporter is on the job, and a dull cop is ready to save the day.  This is full-on crazy Kaiju action, but like a lot of these movies, it spends a good deal of time building to the action, getting to know a few characters and letting the tension mount.  This is on the better end of the Toho monster movie spectrum, though I do miss Anguirus.  It just doesn’t feel right to fight Ghidorah without him.

     I finished up Scrivener's Moon, the last book in Philip Reeve's new Traction City trilogy.  Good stuff.

Drive Angry:  “I want you to holster that iron god-killer and say ‘thank you.’”  That this movie hasn’t been embraced by the general public is beyond me.  It’s a world of bent genius.  Just amazing.  Boobs, guns, cars, explosions, and cussing like drunken sailors.  Nic Cage looks like he’s having a blast.  Amber Heard is surprisingly fun as the feisty chick he’s traveling with.  But William Fichtner is the real standout as Hell’s accountant.  Just a heck of a lot of fun.  Awesome.

Red:  “Moldova sucks!”  A darned funny, stupid, and action packed movie about a bunch of ex-government sanctioned action heroes being pulled back into the fire.  Everyone seems to be having the time of their lives, gleefully spouting mad-bastard dialog and blazing away with heavy weapons.  Honestly, if nothing else, it’s worth checking out just to see Helen Mirren wearing a classy dress, firing a huge machine gun.  Whatever the case, the movie isn’t going to change the world, but it’s a lot of stupid fun.

Doctor Who: The Reign of Terror:  Trying to drop off Barbara and Ian, the Doctor and companions end up in the past of France, and plenty of trouble.  The French Revolution is not a time period I’m especially interested in, and the story doesn’t have a lot of new to say about it.  Not one of the more interesting Hartnell tales.  The animated sequence is pretty well done, and I hope they do more for the episodes where the video is missing.

    So, for the first time in a good deal of years I decided to read the Bible.  Perhaps one might think it an odd thing for an atheist, but it is an important work of literature if nothing else.  And so far, I would have to say, not much else.  Working my way through Genesis, it’s such a hodge-podge of messy old wives tales that it’s hard to pull out a narrative.  There are some interesting images, but it’s all so vague.  Reminds me of reading Gilgamesh.  The idea that people would think this stuff was anything but the mythology of Bronze Age savages is beyond me, but people believe in homeopathy and crystals.  So who knows?

-Matt

"Kimosabe, I need you" Red 2 Promises Helen Miran Acid Bath!

Below is the first teaser trailer for Red 2.  A film I cannot believe exists.  But the fact that it got a greenlight makes me very, very happy.  John Malkovich lures Bruce Willis outta G-Man retirement once more.  This time to...um, I don't know what the plot is.  Only thing I can figure is that a whole bunch of new bad guys need killing and Willis & Co aim to deliver.  Byung Hun Lee seems to have replaced Karl Urban as the bad guy heavy and as much as I enjoy Storm Shadow, I'm gonna miss my frowny faced Dredd.  His knuckle brawl battle in the first film was a surprising duster reminiscent of old timey fisticuffs.



--Brad

Hitchcock - The Movie!

Here's the trailer for the Hitch bio.  Makes me smile.  Much more so than I thought it would.  I'm so glad that it's focused on the making of Psycho.  None of this rise of fame bio nonsense that makes me nauseous.  Hopkins certainly seems like he's having fun playing the madman.  And Scar Jo is nowhere near as awkward in the part as I had feared.  Genuinely looking forward to it.  Right around the corner too.



--Brad

New Release Tuesday (12/6/11)!!!

Must Buy DVD of the Week!

COWBOYS AND ALIENS:  Jon Favreau's genre mashup seemed to garner a rather lukewarm (if not downright distaste) from critics and fans alike, but I thoroughly enjoyed this sci-fi cowboy picture.  And can you think of a better film that squishes these two cinematic moods?  Oblivion?  From Dusk Till Dawn III?  No.  And I mean, Daniel Craig's chiseled mug was made for Westerns and it's been too damn long since Harrison Ford was this grumpy grizzled.  The film does wrap things up a little too neatly, but it was one of the finer Summer Blockbusters (especially when compared to a heap of dung like Green Lantern).  I think this film will find some love on DVD; some kid twenty years from now is gonna watch this and loose his mind.

Rent!

THE HANGOVER PART II:  I hate myself.  I didn't even particularly enjoy the first film and I hear this one is just more of the same, but this kinda garbage is what Netflix was meant for...base curiosity.

THE DEBT:  Matt saw this in theaters, but didn't bother to drag me along.  He gave it an "okay" and I'm guessing that's what I'll give it too.  I'm more interested in the modern, old guys story than the Sam Worthington adventures but I'm always more interested in elder heroes over young dumb ones.

THE LADY VANISHES (CRITERION BLU):  Here's a Hitchcock film I have yet to see.  Missed it on Criterion's first go around and even though I'm sure this blu is a solid blind buy I'm saving my pennies for Cowboys & Aliens.  Sorry Hitch.

TORA! TORA! TORA! (BLU):  I haven't watched Tora Tora Tora since middle school History Class.  I know at one point Kurosawa worked on the Japanese segments for a bit before he got fired/or quit.  I honestly don't remember if I liked it as a kid or not.  I'll give it a proper shot, but probably not for a while.

Avoid!

MR. POPPER'S PENGUINS:  Jim Carey and a bunch of CGI Penguins doing a bunch of dumb stuff only children hopped up on pixie sticks could possibly find funny.  No thank you.  And Jim Carrey?  You were fantastic in I Love You Phillip Morris so I know you still have some sense left in your brain...MAKE BETTER MOVIES!

--Brad