Matt’s Week in Dork! (10/20/13-10/26/13)

    I’ve been trying to get a lot of reading done, and I have.  But I’m not finishing a lot.  Too many things going at once.  Still, when it comes to geeky stuff, this was a pretty good week for this Dork.  And as I've given it more of a listen, I've been really digging that new Devo CD I picked up.  Which is handy, as it plays right into some of the reading I'm doing about AI and robotics.

In the Mouth of Madness:  “God’s not supposed to be a hack horror writer.”  The last great John Carpenter movie, this Lovecraft inspired journey into madness is fantastic.  It’s just the right mix of creepy, weird, and pulpy, with a great Lovecraftian hero in insurance investigator John Trent.  Nobody pulls his strings.  And he’s on the trail of Stephen King type bestselling horror writer Sutter Cane.  Cane’s writing seems to be having an effect on his readers, and that effect is becoming more pronounced and more violent.  Can Trent find him, find his last manuscript, and get back to civilization?  Or is the Door about to open, letting the Old Ones spill back into our world?

Niagara:  Joseph Cotton and Marilyn Monroe play a horribly dysfunctional couple who seem to be falling apart in their hotel room by the famous titular falls.  When a happy young couple shows up, their worlds collide.  I can see why this movie isn’t necessarily talked about a lot, but it’s pretty good.  It’s got a kind of second rate (and I don’t mean that in a bad way) Hitchcock vibe to it.  Not up to snuff with Hitch’s best, but in that spirit.

The Wall (Die Wand):  Oh, my gosh.  This is a danged sad, danged depressing, and danged fine film.  There are elements of those ‘man alone’ films like Jeremiah Johnson or Omega Man.  But it goes so, so much further.  A grim meditation on profound loneliness, it’s also a sort of love letter to the natural setting of rural Europe.  A woman wakes up to find herself the only living human, locked within a mysterious invisible bubble.  Her only companion is a skittish dog.  It’s a heck of a fascinating movie, and worth seeking out.  Beautifully shot, well acted, and fascinating to see.  And brutally, emotionally devastating.

Gun Crazy:  Two young people go on a bullet flinging crime spree.  A guy with a love of guns and a dame with a taste for money are a match made in Noir heaven.  I really like the way this film is shot.  The sequences where the camera sits in the back seat and just lets them talk as they head into or flee a crime scene are quite good.

    Read volume 1 of the New 52 series Shazam!  I definitely did not find myself as into it as co-Dork Brad.  I think something in the air or water has simply soured me to DC and Marvel.  Could it be the high frequency of terrible stuff they seem to put out?  I’m not sure.  But I’m feeling less forgiving toward them.  If I’d read it a year ago, I’d probably have enjoyed it.  Right now, however, they’d have to be writing some mighty fine stuff for me to give two shakes, and this isn’t it.  I also read (or skimmed, anyway) volume 2 of Aquaman, which saw a drastic drop in quality from The Trench.  It became scattered, confusing, and ultimately, boring.  Sad, as volume 1 was one of the big surprises from the New 52.

Neither the Sea Nor the Sand:  There’s some lovely footage of the UK coast.  Otherwise, it’s a bunch of unlikable, unrelatable characters in weird relationships.  It feels like a student film that got a big budget for reasons I don’t understand.  While well made, it’s quite grating.

    On Thursday night, Robert hosted Triple Horror Movie Night, an annual celebration of October.  Each year, he, Brad and I choose a movie each; one fabulous (Robert), one classic (me), and one scary (Brad).  This year, we changed it up a bit, and I brought the scary (or sleazy) movie, while Brad brought the classic.  A few others joined us, and while I think everyone enjoyed the social aspect, I don’t know if everyone was prepared for just what it is that we were going to be watching.

Brad’s Pick

Macabre:  The plot for this film is just too danged complicated, with too many characters, too many previously dead people, and too many cooks in the kitchen.  It’s also not very scary, even looking at it from the 50s horror movie perspective.  There are flashbacks where you’re not quite sure it’s a flashback, cuts to other scenes where it seems like it might be a flashback…but isn’t.  It’s weird.  Not great.  But worth a watch if you like William Castle movies.

Robert’s Pick

Vampire Boys 2:  If you thought Vampire Boys was poorly made and featured lots of bad acting, you haven’t seen anything yet.  This crappy sequel looks like it was 'filmed' in someone’s basement.  And that’s probably the best thing about it.  Everyone is shot in close-up and nobody has the face for it.  When anyone tries to act, it’s hammy.  And the story is dumb, dumb, dumb.

Matt’s Pick

Cat People:  I absolutely love this movie.  The longer I live with it, the more I enjoy it.  I love the cast and all the characters they play.  I love the kinky love story and the even kinkier obsession story.  New Orleans has never looked better or more like somewhere I’d actually think about visiting.  The slow build takes it to some powerfully strange places.  And the ending is so crazy.

    Then Friday night was the latest meeting of the graphic novel club.  We read the New 52 Aquaman (first two volumes) this month.  The reactions were mixed.  I liked the first volume, but not the second.  Lisa didn’t like the 4th wall break in the first volume (blogger talking about how much Aquaman sucks).  Many found the second volume needlessly complicated and scattered.  But many also came away with a new appreciation of the character.

    After an extremely stressful week (and last couple months), I decided to do a sort of Horror movie day.  I sat on my couch, ate Boo Barry cereal (thanks to Robert), had some snacks, grabbed a Firehouse sub while I was out for a walk in the middle of the day, and enjoyed a day of watching various horror films.  A nice way to spend a Saturday.

Taste the Blood of Dracula:  Three bored rich guys looking for kicks get way more than they bargained for in this Hammer Dracula film.  Overall, it’s not bad, though not especially interesting.  I like that the tale has an unusual plot progression, though the atmosphere is still mainline Hammer.  Fans of the studio’s Gothic thrillers should certainly watch it, but it’s not one of those ‘rush right out and get it’ titles.

Doctor Who: The Talons of Weng-Chiang:  Victorian London is the scene of some sinister goings-on involving a shadowy Chinese cult and a horrible little thing.  It’s a cool story, rooted in Sherlock Holmes tales and that sort of thing, but with plenty of the usual Doctor Who madness.  You would not be wrong to say that there is some outright racism on display.  In part this is reflective of the time the story is set within, but of course, Li H’sen Chang being portrayed by a guy in ‘yellow face’ makes things pretty awkward.  Still, this is the kind of ‘historic’ story that worked best on Doctor Who.  I usually prefer the more out-there science fictiony tales, but the horror themed histories work fairly well.

The Fly:  A reclusive scientist falls for a plucky reporter, then has dirty, unsafe sex with his own genes, getting pumped through of inhuman DNA.  Jeff Goldblum is do danged awkward, and things get really nasty pretty quick.  Watching it, I was struck by how danged weird it was, and how a lot of pretty out-there stuff was made for mainstream audiences in the 80s that would likely not fly today.

Godzilla VS Destroyah:  “What radioactivity!”  Every time I watch one of these later films in the series, I can’t help but pine for the older ones.  There’s some really cool stuff, but the production feels shoddy, the ‘science’ is so extremely stupid, and the human stories are totally uninteresting.  I feel like a lot of the creature sequences would never have flown in the original run.  I like the introduction of a hoard of little creatures, more human sized problems in this one.  Of course, by the end, it’s a giant monster that has to go up against Godzilla.  But it makes me want to see a better Godzilla film that features little things for people to deal with, too.  There have been hints of that before, with radiated parasites left behind my the big guy, but it hasn’t been very well explored.  The Godfather-like assassination of Godzilla is weird, too.

Hellraiser III:  I stalled on my attempted re-watch of the Hellraiser series a while back, in part because I knew this was the next on the list, and I remember really disliking it.  Well, things haven’t changed.  The script for this one, as well as the acting and production design all feel very made for Canadian TV.  The creepy, mysterious, and weird are replaced with awkward cheese.  Totally lacking in any kind of passion or imagination, everything feels so bland and by the numbers that at no point do I care what happens to anyone.  Lifeless.  That’s the word for this movie.  And as a side note, why the hell did Doc get turned into a Cenobite?  There was no indication that this was a path he was on.  It doesn’t just happen to random victims of Pinhead.  It happens to those who seek it out.  F’ing stupid.

Rodan:  Rodan has what I’m looking for in a Kaiju film.  It takes its time, develops a bunch of human characters and follows them through their investigation of strange events.  Then, quite a way into the film, it brings out the big guns and starts the mass destruction.  But the ‘ground level’ story is still a major part.  Rodan is a giant bird, and some kind of master of the wind.  So this movie features lots and lots of stuff getting blown to pieces, which is strange, but kind of cool.  It’s also steeped in the post-Hiroshima fears of fallout and poisoned earth.  Giant mutant grubs are the first thing that tips people off to the problem, and they’re disgusting and creepy.

     I read the first issue of The Star Wars, which is right up my ally.  It's an attempt to adapt George Lucas's original Star Wars script into comic form.  You can see a lot of similarities, but there are also some pretty big differences.  I don't know if it would have worked as well, and maybe some of those changes were needed.  But I like some of the characters more, especially Luke, who isn't a child.

-Matt

Brad's Week in Dork! (6/2/13-6/8/13)

This was a great week of consumption.  The Wife & I are still plugging away at LOST, and we're finally starting to hit the place that absolutely giddies my brain - The Barge!  With last week's screening of 8 1/2 I plunged back into Roger Ebert's The Great Movies, and I continued that trend this week with Werner Herzog's Aguirre, The Wrath of God.  It's a damn good movie; I'm committed to the rest of the Herzog/Kinski collaboration box set and I've only got three left, but so far, so damn brilliant.  Klaus Kinski, the beautiful monster.  Every expression is a painting for my wall, a grotesque ripped from the finest Renaissance creation.  I also got serious about my Scorsese-A-Thon, cranking out three more of his classics - and yeah, all three are classics.  The De Niro era somewhat comes to a close with After Hours which in turn leads to another grab at the new mainstream of the 1980s, The Color of Money.  The Griffin Dunne nightmare adventure is often forgotten in the canon, but I (& Ebert) consider it to be a highlight within a flood of highlights.

This Pretty Much Sums Up The Night

I made it out to the theater for a pair of Ethan Hawke performances: Before Midnight & The Purge.  Could there possibly be a better example of Night & Day as far as quality is concerned?  Don't think so.  Hawke is an interesting actor - you can't really love the guy, but I'm hard pressed to think of a time in which I utterly loathed a performance.  His tour with Lionsgate is fun even when it's forgettable.  The guy just likes to work.  Respect.

LOST Season 3:  The second season dipped its toe into the pool of genre crazy, and Season 3 wades on into the deep end.  It's a little bit of a slow start as Jack, Kate, & Sawyer bang upon their cages, but once they worm their way out and into the barrack world of Dharma (or the Dharma that once was), LOST finds its story and finally stretches its science-fiction setting.  Michael Emmerson is a great nemesis for Flight 815 and Elizabeth Mitchell's Dr. Juliette is a welcome addition to a cast of morally broken people.  And let's not forget Nestor Carbonell's Richard!  What's his deal?  It's only going to get weirder and more ancient from here.  Plus, just when the flashbacks start to get stale (seriously, at this point, who cares what Sun & Jin were doing in Korea or how much of a tool Charlie was before getting to Gilligan's Island?), the writers find an exciting new device to launch us into the next season.  Finally, we have "Not Penny's Boat!"  Outsiders are on their way and the battle between 815 & The Others barely has time to breath before an even larger threat crests the horizon.

Raging Bull:  "I don't trust you when it comes to her.  I don't trust nobody."  This is a frustrating film for me.  Obviously, the craft and performances are stunning.  Robert De Niro's Jake LaMotta is a hateful brute and he's surrounded by corrupting influences.  Family, friends, lovers.  Everyone wants a piece and he's ready to take a bite.  Martin Scorsese shoots boxing like the horrific ballet that it is, a black & white bloodsport unfit for this "civilized" world we pretend to inhabit.  I could watch those bouts all day long.  But De Niro's LaMotta?  I hate him.  Cathy Moriarty's Vickie is the worst kind of victim, a woman asking for the punishment that is her life.  Joe Pesci's little brother appears good hearted, but he's little more than a punching bag for the bull.  I hate these people.  I recognize the craft of the film - the cinematography, the direction, the performances, the script - but the problems of these mooks are are boring to me.  I imagine a world in which the cast & crew remade Robert Ryan's The Set-Up, and it's a beautiful nirvana filled with heinous blows of genre.  Raging Bull is trying to get to the truth of a man, but Jake LaMotta is a jackass and I don't like living in his skin.

Aguirre - The Wrath of God:  "These savages are hard to convert."  And here is another character filled with hate & violence but one that is absolutely not boring.  Klaus Kinski is Aguirre, the second in command of a doomed expedition through South America in search for the fabled city of gold, El Dorado.  His men follow the conquering footsteps of Cortes, slashing their way through the jungle, capturing the natives, bashing the word of God into their brains, and falling victim to Mother Nature as well as their own black hearts.  What are Aguirre's desires?  I'm still not totally sure.  Domination does not appear to be one even as he sets up a noblemen as the puppet emperor for their expedition.  He appears to be solely concentrated on the destruction of others.  He stands upon a raft of corpses, leader of the dead and the dying.  Success?  I think he may see it that way.  This is certainly a film I'm going to have to go back to a few times.  It's an assault on the senses, but unlike Raging Bull, I enjoy the idiocy of the brutality.  Most must be contributed to Kinski's mad performance.  Is the character off?  Or is the actor the true madman of myth?  How rare to have an actor that convincing.

Aquaman Vol 2 - The Others:  I really, really, really enjoyed Geoff Johns' first entry into the New 52 Aquaman.  It was a fun, frothy story in which the king of Atlantis struggled to find his way between the two worlds of his parents.  Unfortunately, Volume 2 squanders all the high adventure of the first book for some shockingly dull Super Hero brawl.  Some time ago a pirate called Black Manta killed Aquaman's human father and in retaliation Aquaman killed Black Manta's father.  Here we get the very worst imitation of The Wrath of Khan and muddled in the middle are a team of 90s runoffs called The Others.  The book introduces six new characters but only gives you fistfights as a means of character development.  We get beats but not story.  And The Others just get in the way of the characters we actually care about - Aquaman & Mera, a husband and wife super team struggling to make life on dry land.  I know we have to have punch ups but it would be nice if the story didn't Schumacher it up with dead weight villains.  I don't think I'll be going any further with this series.

Before Midnight:  Richard Linklater gives us the third, but possibly not the last chapter in his romantic saga.  I don't want to go into specifics, just know that Before Midnight contains a lot more of walking & talking to camera.  If you've seen the first two then you know the deal.  Honestly, I absolutely adore the first film but was somewhat dismayed by the direction taken by Before Sunset.  Having now just spent six years in absolute bliss with my own significant other, I respond deeply to the heart & romance of Before Sunrise, but Sunset breaks down the "reality" of love, and it tasted cynical rather than truthful.  And Before Midnight continues that trend.  It's impossible to separate my own relationship and my own ideas of love from these films, but I find the conversation to be fascinating and absolutely worth the return trip.  Also, where else (outside of genre) can you find three films that follow the same two actors in the same two characters?  At the very least, the Before films are a magnificent exploration and I look forward to watching them as a whole.

Nosferatu - Phantom Der Nacht:  "Give me some of that love."  Werner Herzog & Klaus Kinski reteam to bring us this romantically haunting remake of the silent classic, this version containing much more of Bram Stoker's original source material minus the drab narration.  Kinski is exceptional in his portrayal of the undead Count and his droopy stares into camera are hypnotizing.  The man is a living sculpture!  Also, Bruno Ganz might very well be the only version of Jonathan Harker I've ever found sympathetic, and Isabelle Adjani is the most pained Mina (or Lucy as this film swaps her) ever filmed.  She is wide-eyed gorgeous, a tragic pet for Kinski's monstrous longings.  And have you ever seen a vampiric seduction of a town so mournfully shot than the one Herzog depicts here?  The town square rat feast!  Terrifying in its banality.

The Vampire Lovers:  "Put some blood back into her."  When I think of the quintessential Hammer Horror I think of The Vampire Lovers.  Sure, the adaptations of The Horror of Dracula or The Curse of Frankenstein might be a touch more iconic thanks to the performances of Christopher Lee, but what I really want from Hammer are the busty ladies tortured by the supernatural.  No one quite does pulp cheesecake quite like Hammer, and Ingrid Pitt is their ultimate pinup girl.  A cheap retelling of Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, that short story donates heaps of sexual subtext to exploit in the world of B Movies, but the success of The Vampire Lovers is Pitt & company's full-hearted acceptance of the material.  There is no sheeping here.  It's cheese - bloody & booby - no apologies.  It's the perfect gift for 13 year old males or the stunted 30 year old.

Blade 2:  "Lock up your daughters, boys and girls, The Dark Knight Returns!"  This is a special film and I don't think enough people give it the credit it so rightfully deserves.  Dropped into the middle of a crappy comic book franchise is a classic of genre filmmaking.  I would go so far as to argue that Blade 2 is the finest hour in Guillermo Del Toro's career and one of the Top 5 comic book movies ever concocted.  Not satisfied with the mewling dreary whelps of the Anne Rice generation, the director set out to return the monstrous to the vampire, and in the process Blade 2 became an epic Blaxploitation remake of The Dirty Dozen.  This is the very finest of kitchen sink cinema.  Coming off of the disastrous Mimic & the rejuvenating Devil's Backbone, Guillermo Del Toro saw this sequel as his great grab at big time Hollywood filmmaking, bending David Goyer's script to his will.  Thankfully, it was a success.  I adore Blade's descent down the villain food chain, exploding a traitor in his midst, punishing an army of security guard lapdogs, slicing racial hate into Ron Perlman's Nazi, buffooning the vampire count, and eventually going toe-to-toe with Luke Goss's genetic abomination.  And each stop along the way of neverending set piece is peppered with winks and nods to comics, movies, and classical illustration.  Del Toro has absorbed it all, but his pop references manage to be more fluid and natural than anything found in the very best of Quentin Tarantino or Martin Scorsese.  Of course, this is just Blade 2 - a violent action film sandwiched between two slices of moldy bread and therefore it will never get the rightful appreciation.  And as much as I love Del Toro, I don't think he's ever come close to capturing the perfection of this film.  Deluded blogger praise?  Maybe.  But you should watch this film again if you doubt me.

The King of Comedy:  Ugh, this film is painful.  Funny at times.  But mostly painful.  Robert De Niro gives his finest performance as Rupert Pupkin, the wannabe comic who kidnaps his way into primetime legend.  Jerry Lewis is the hapless celebrity navigating the cost of fame, and failing his audience's impossible expectations.  The King of Comedy feels like its coming from a great sadness buried deep within its creators, but its beauty is that it never feels like "Woe Is Me" cinema.  This is truth via absurdity.  De Niro's Pupkin is just another sadsack living in his parents basement who fills the void in his life with delusions of celebrity.  If he could only get his act on TV than the high school dream girl would be his and the world would accept his comedy genius.  The film marches to a dark tune and each chuckle that escapes lands with a sick thud.  It's an uncomfortable watch, but one worth having every few years.  It's certainly a great reminder of De Niro's skill, and in the current era of cash-in action/comedy roles The King of Comedy reminds us just how the man got to his iconic status.

Star Trek - "The Cage":  Can you believe I had actually never seen this pilot episode before?  It's true!  Previously, my only connection to "The Cage" were the snippets seen within "The Menagerie."  Jeffery Hunter is a great Captain of the Enterprise.  Don't worry, I'm not ready to abandon Shatner, but I have to admit cool where cool exists.  Pike is certainly a more introspective Starfleet officer than Kirk.  He's been around the rings of Saturn a few too many times and fantasies of Orion Slave Girls plague his mind.  He's ready to toss in the towel.  Then comes a distress signal and the lovely captive Vina.  The Telosians are not the type of villains you punch, they're the type you strangle.  Using their big brains to keep Pike & Vina imprisoned, they desire to breed a perfect race of man but you get the idea that perfection is a mask for simple sandbox play time.  What would the world be like if Hunter remained on the bridge?  Hmmmm, it's an interesting thought.  I certainly think there was a great show here, and maybe not that different from the Star Trek we eventually got.  My whole reasoning for sitting down for the first episode was The Mission Log podcast, a detailed breakdown of every Star Trek episode.  It's prodeced by Gene Roddenberry's son and it's fun Trekkie stuff.

The Purge:  I really love the concept behind this flick - one day a year, the US Government legalizes all forms of crime.  Murder, Rape, Riot.  It's all cool as long as you don't use a weapon classified above a level 4 (whatever the hell that means, no bazookas I guess).  That's a very twisted Twilight Zone kinda thought and I had hopes that this B Movie would do something special with it.  Unfortunately, The Purge never quite rises above the typical stalk & slash and nearly every character falls into those Horror movie tropes we were warned about in the Scream franchise, "I'll be right back!!!!!"  The best moments happen early one before The Purge goes into full effect.  Ethan Hawke's daughter looking down into her neighbor's backyard and seeing him sharpening his machete.  That's damn creepy.  The Haves locking up their doors while the Have-Nots scurry for a hiding place.  There could have been a great film here.  Instead we get a forgettable dolt.

Action Comics - Superman vs The Men of Tomorrow:  Zack Snyder's Man of Steel is nearly upon us, and as the week came to a close I found myself hunting for the perfect Superman comic.  We all know that's Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely's All-Star Superman, but I'm holding off on that till next week's book club.  So, instead, I though I'd give Morrison's New 52 relaunch a try.  It's not as dull or painful as some would have you believe, but it's also nothing more than routine super heroics.  Frankly, I'm tired of being introduced to this character.  Secret Origin, Superman For All Seasons, Red Son, Birthright.  Why do all the classic stories center on his beginnings?  Morrison attempts a half-ass origin here with Lex working for the government, Clark Kent bumbling about The Daily Star, Brainiac bottling cities, and Superman rocking jeans rather than spandex.  The action scenes are solid enough and the dialog all works in that Morrison nostalgia kinda way.  But there is nothing special.  I hear it gets better before it all comes crashing down so I'll stick around for the next volume.

Woyzeck:  "All things of this world are evil."  Of the three Herzog/Kinski collaborations I watched this week, Woyzeck was the one that I found the most punishingly effective.  The story of a meek soldier slowly deteriorating over the course of several days as his wife openly lusts for another man, his doctor makes mockery of his exasperated state, and his commanding officer belittles his uncontrollable rushing.  Klaus Kinski has played brute & monster before, but with Woyzeck the actor reaches new depths of victimization.  Aguirre may have been The Wrath of God, but Woyzeck is the puppet of the Earth, hearing the planet's demand to stab the life from his bride.  Death is on the wind, prick up your ears.  The film's 80 minute runtime is busting with dread; almost from frame one you're waiting for catastrophe to strike.  No wonder the original play was transformed into Opera, Woyzeck is beauty through tragedy.  Not for the Saturday Night crowd, but the cineaste looking to wallow in despair will find plenty of misery to envelope them.

After Hours:  Griffin Dunne is just one more mindless cubical worker, a cog in the machine of capitalism punching his keyboard with as little mental effort as possible.  One night he leaves his office building, finds a diner to read his book, and strikes up a conversation with Rosanna Arquette.  Their brief flirtation sparks a Kafkan quest through the dirty heart of New York City.  Dunne bumps against the stupid and the absurd:  Linda Fiorentino's dominating artist, John Heard's grieving barman, Catherine O'Hara's vigilante ice cream trucker, and the dynamic duo of Cheech & Chong.  It's a gut-bustingly funny saga, but like The King of Comedy, it's often more sad than not.  The circular torment bestowed upon Griffin Dunne is uproarious and I often found myself shaking my head at the horrors forced upon him.  In a lot a ways, After Hours would be the perfect companion to John Landis' Into The Night, another neglected classic centering on the nighttime exploits of an anonymous data head.

--Brad

Dork Art: Sam Peckinpah's Superman & Friends

While stumbling around the internet looking for info on Sam Peckinpah, I ran into this rather amazing Superman poster from the Fringe universe - the deviant artist is AtomTastic and he must be a good friend of Walter Bishop.  Sometimes I really wish I could visit that mirror world, a universe in which Kris Kristofferson's Supes went up against the diabolical Robert Duval.  A true clash of titans.  And after I got finished that obvious masterpiece I could devour the sweaty filth of William Friedkin's Drive.  Just as violent as Nicholas Winding Refn, but soaked in a boozy grime.  A nasty, five o'clock cinematic atrocity.  Oh photoshop, you are a wonderful tool of fandom.

Comic Review: Aquaman: The Trench

    Geoff Johns did a fine job of re-launching Green Lantern several years ago.  It seems like it’s gone a bit off the reservation with all the multi-colored rings and Sinestro being a Green.   But, when he started, it was pretty darned good.  And now he’s turned his pen to one of DC’s more…well, let’s say less cool characters.  Good old Aquaman.  The butt of so many jokes.

    I love that right out of the gate, Johns acknowledges his history as a B-list hero.  He shows up to save the day only to find local towns people scoff, and go on about talking to the fishes.  But in spite of all the jibes and hassle, he’s decided that he and his wife are going to live on the coast, and they’re going to serve as protectors.

    The first thing they face off against are some of Roger Corman’s Humanoids from the Deep (or going back a bit more, Lovecraft’s Deep Ones).  And this sparks a mystery that looks like it’s going to be a major upcoming story.  How did Atlantis sink, why, and who was behind it?

    This book is a lot of fun.  And it’s really nice to see a married couple who seem to have a strong bond.  The art isn’t bad and a lot of the design is good.  I love the look of the fish men.  The humor is balanced with the action and the horror.  And it seems like this could be a really interesting addition to the DC universe.  A weird one, but an interesting one.

Aquaman Volume 1: The Trench
Author: Geoff Johns
Artist: Ivan Reis
Publisher: DC Comics
ISBN: 978-1-4012-3551-2

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (10/14/12-10/20/12)

    Not much in the way of Dork life for most of the week.  But on Friday night, there was another meeting of the Justice League of Extraordinary Book Club.  This month, for Halloween, we read the Hellboy anthology The Chained Coffin.  I was surprised (and very happy) that folks seemed to really like it.  Much more than I was expecting.  And several people expressed interest in reading more (Jill’s already started).  Hellboy is so rooted in the things I love.  The weird tales of H.P. Lovecraft, Arthur Machen, William Hope Hodgson, and others; the fairytales of the Brothers Grimm and others; Judeo-Christian mythology; medieval history and legend; the pulps like The Shadow, Doc Savage, and The Spider; and so many more.


Lust for a Vampire:  There are elements of this film that I really like, but it is a total mess.  Pretty young women dancing about in Greek-type robes, Ralph Bates’ mousy freak, and the wacky pseudo-Christopher Lee jabbering on in Latin.  Oh, yeah.  But the production looks…well, it looks like a TV episode or something.  Even the nudity is awkward.  As usual, there’s plenty of bodice-ripping opportunity, but much of the nudity that is in the film seems tacked on or wedged in where it doesn’t belong.  It also doesn’t help that Yutte Stensgaard looks so much like Shelly Long.  Not one of the better Hammer Gothics.

Fright Night:  This surprisingly charming update to the minor vampire classic does a pretty good job of bringing things to the modern day, while still capturing a bit of an 80s vibe.  Collin Farrell turns in one of his best performances, and everyone seems to be having a good time.  It is frustrating that in spite of the blood, the film feels very PG-13, and I was surprised to find out it was R.  I guess they drop the F bomb too many times.  As always, a little less obvious CG would have been nice.

The Brood:  Oliver Reed, man.  Somehow, I don’t think he’d have been a good psychologist.  Every move he makes, every expression on his face lets you know he is filled with raging contempt and barely checked violence.  His outer calmness is clearly hiding an seething inner chaos of hate.  Not conducive to mental health.  Winter bleached Canada is once again the depressing home of horror as David Cronenberg explores our violent impulses and what happens when we don’t want to deal with them.  There’s some cool stuff in this movie.  However, I don’t know if it’s the hero or what, but I don’t find it especially interesting.  Not one of Cronenberg’s better films.

Spontaneous Combustion:  This movie is crazy.  A seemingly forgotten Tobe Hooper film that is well worth rediscovering.  In the same semi-genre as Scanners, Firestarter, The Dead Zone, and other psi-power awakening films.  I think, in the aftermath of the 50s and 60s, when a lot of secrets about experiments the government had been getting up to came out, there was a brand of anxiety this film cashes in on.  The late 70s and 80s were full of movies and TV shows about the results of science run amok, always awakening nasty bits of human potential.  Poor Brad Dourif.  He’s a nice guy, but everybody’s dumping on him, and his inner fire is about to get out of hand.  This movie doesn’t always work, but there’s enough cool in it to make it worth watching.  This is one I’d love to see get a good remake.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom:  “Nothing shocks me.  I’m a scientist.”  Often dismissed, I think this is a good entry in the series, with plenty to love.  I grant you, Kate Capshaw is quite aggravating.  And the effects don’t always play.  But there’s some excellent action.  I think my major complaint about this movie is its limited setting.  After a brief stop in Hong Kong, the rest of the film takes place in India.  But Indiana Jones is kind of like James Bond.  He’s a world hopper, and having him stuck in one location feels wrong (like that Bond film where he spends all his time in Japan).

House of Whipcord:  Ugh.  They’re called lights.  They’ve been using them on film sets for a century.  Half the time, you can’t see anything that’s happening because it seems the filmmakers didn’t pay the lighting bill.  But worry not, the annoying, sniveling voice of Penny Irving never stops.  And while you can’t always tell what she’s saying, you can always tell it’s stupid.  I guess this is S&M porn (it’s not actually porn), but it’s all pretty silly.  I suppose if anyone ever turned a light on, there would be a lot of nudity.  But they don’t.  A right wing group of sexually repressed weirdoes kidnap young women to abuse them for imagined crimes.  And plenty of bad lighting and editing later, I still don’t care.  Is that prison matron John Noble in drag?

King Kong:  “I’m just an actor with a gun.”  Peter Jackson’s remake of the original 1933 King Kong, one of the best adventure films of all time, is clearly made with a great deal of love.  And generally speaking, it’s very good.  An epic of weird retro-adventure.  But on a few occasions it does fail.  The most obvious and glaring problem is the canyon stampede scene, which is super clunky, totally unneeded, and looks bloody terrible (seriously, it looks horrendous…how did this make the final cut?).  Some sequences run too long, especially the big Kong VS ‘V-Rex’ scene, which feels like it will never end.  And some of that time could have been better spent exploring the island and its mysteries.  But, problems aside, there are great characters, fantastic visual feasts, grand adventure in the spirit of the original, and some very emotional and beautiful scenes.  Kong is rendered with supreme skill and technical finesse.  Naomi Watts is a beautiful woman, and can sell youthful innocence with a tinge of world weary resignation (she really doesn’t look her age…it’s kind of creepy).  This was Jackson’s dream project, the movie he’s wanted to do since getting into the movies (and before, I’m sure).  And I get that.  It would be one of mine, too (along with Creature from the Black Lagoon and Conan).  It’s not a perfect film.  But it’s a grand adventure film like they rarely make these days.

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad:  This is actually two separate stories in one movie.  First up is a story taken from The Wind in the Willows.  It’s a pretty good short film.  But I think that UK stop motion version from 15 or 20 years ago is much, much better.  The second is the adaptation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  It’s a pretty good, pretty freaky telling of the tale.  Some good funny bits, and some good creepy bits.

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley:  “Want a banana?”  Ah, Brazil.  Land of cockfighting and plastic surgery disasters.  Amazing ADR.  Better music.  Spectacular acting.  Tip-top editing and cinematography.  And that ‘humorous’ sexual assault scene.  Didn’t it get nominated as one of the all time greats by the AFI?  This movie is really, really dumb.  It’s only mildly entertaining.  By the way, you don’t get to call your film Massacre in Dinosaur Valley if there are in fact, no dinosaurs.  Now, some attractive women take their clothes off, and that makes up for a lot.  But I’m darn well owed some dinosaurs.  The disk has a bunch of special features.  Probably my favorite are star Michael Sopkiw’s personal photos from his time in Brazil.  The interview is kind of interesting; hearing the story of a guy who had a strange kind of success, but a temporary kind.

You want dinosaurs?  Try a different movie, buddy.

Terror of Mechagodzilla: “Your heart is frozen and dry.  Who’d love a cyborg?”  One of the better late Godzilla films, it’s got some pretty good storytelling and cool creature effects.  I love these movies.  And I’m not normally a fan of Japanese film.  Aliens, cyborgs, peaceful monsters, electrocutions.  Oh, yeah.  It’s interesting that Godzilla doesn’t show up for 50ish minutes in this movie (and it’s a great entrance).  There’s other stuff going on, and the giant sea monster Titanosaurus blows some stuff up (or over, anyway).

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Beginning of the End:  “Women on the verge of an atomic breakdown.”  This dreadful bit of 50s Atomic Horror is full of Burt I. Gordon awfulness.  But with Mike and the Bots along for the ride, it’s a fun bit of wackiness.  They’re pretty on with this movie, cutting it up pretty hard.  And the grim views into the private life of Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank will strike terror into the stoutest heart.

Sound of Horror:  “She’s only an amateur.  And a woman.”  This movie teaches a few lessons.  Don’t go to Greece and blow up Neanderthal burial mountains.  Especially if those Neanderthals date all the way back to the Siege of Troy!  If you like seeing old sweaty dudes dig holes in a cave, this is the movie for you.  There is actually some potential here, but it’s sabotaged by profound technical failures.  It’s shot poorly, and the audio and dubbed voices make it feel extra crappy.  There’s a taste of the weird tale and the classic monster movie.  But sadly, this is no classic.  Check out young Ingrid Pitt as the go-go dancing hanger-on.

Tosca:  “My love nest has been defiled!”  Puccini’s opera gets a cinematic adaptation in this 1976 version.  Placido Domingo with his Riker beard is pretty awesome.  But I was quickly reminded of something I’ve said many times.  I just don’t dig Italian opera.  German?  Sure.  Italian…Meh.  As far as the story goes, I think the lesson learned here is don’t hook up with a crazy, jealous bitch.  Tosca is a paranoid harpy who continually suspects poor Mario of every kind of infidelity with little or no cause beyond her own self-obsessed insecurity.  I’m a loyal guy, but two hours of this woman’s flip-flopping emotions, accusations, and suspicions would probably drive me into the arms of another woman…Or a monastery.  Though she eventually becomes less awful as their situation grows more terrible.  And the end is pretty badass.

P.J. Harvey on Tour -Please Leave Quietly:  P.J. Harvey is probably my favorite currently active musical act.  She’s frequently on my computer’s rotation, her CDs often near the top of the pile.  Hers was also the first real concert I ever attended (what can I say, I lived in Maine for 31 years and 38 Special didn’t do anything for me).  So when she put out a live DVD, of course I picked it up.  Sadly, it’s just not what I wanted at all.  It’s super disjointed and looks thrown together.  The music sounds good, but it’s not shot at a single event.  Even within a single song there is footage from several different performances.  It just feels weird and fake.  Parts of various performances are really good, but I really, really don’t like the format.  Also, her guitarist who keeps twitching and falling about is annoying as hell.

Master of the Flying Guillotine:  Jimmy Wang Yu is the One Armed Boxer, and he’s got old man assassin problems.  A blind old dude, with a long white beard has a wacky head chopping weapon, is looking to trim some martial artists… a bit off the top.  A fighting contest, a bunch of foreign fighters, and some fantastically weird music all crank up the kung fu chop-socky.  Some pretty good fights and some unintentionally hysterical dubbing.  Great stuff.

Lost Horizon:  I like this quiet and thoughtful, almost wistful movie about a man’s hope for a better world.  After fleeing violent conflict, a diplomat and a ragtag group of refugees crash in the mountains of central Asia.  From there, a dangerous journey through the snow takes the group to a hidden land of peace and tranquility.  But not everyone wants peace.  Not everyone is ready or willing to be happy.  Not everyone can cast off the trappings of their former life.  The movie is like a dream, a meditation on paradise, and a contemplation of life and desire.  It’s a fascinating classic, which was not well received in its day, and there’s no wonder.  Not an action movie, but a grand spiritual journey.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:  “Goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.”  I know this is an unpopular opinion, but this is probably my least favorite of all the Indiana Jones films.  Don’t get me wrong, that still puts it up there.  It’s pretty great.  But it has some major problems.  The entire opening, featuring young Indiana, is bloody awful.  It’s too humorous and goofy (what‘s with that fat kid?).  Even the credits kind of suck (and that’s not something I usually notice).  Why is Marcus a bumbling idiot?  And as a friend recently pointed out, it’s lame that all of his trademark quirks (hat, whip, chin scar, snake fear, etc.) all come out of one single event.  Plus there is too much of an attempt to remake the first film.  Another Judeo-Christian artifact, more Nazis, a very similar plot progression.  The differences are what make it work, in spite of the problems.  The relationship with his father and the more fatale femme.  And the world hopping is back, which is something I want in this kind of film.

The Mummy:  I have such mixed feelings about this movie.  I was pretty jazzed to see it when it first came out, but was seriously disappointed upon watching.  It still feels like they were trying to do too many things, go in too many directions, and thus failed at all.  It’s not funny enough to be a comedy, not scary enough to be a horror movie, and not exciting enough to be an action movie.  But over the years, I’ve come to enjoy it as a light bit of pulpy fun (not good, but fun).  Of course, the Egyptian history nerd in me screams out at how much they bungle things.  But that happens every time ancient Egypt is used (10 Commandments, I’m looking at you!).  This movie did finally give me a name for a character archetype.  The Beni Character is that guy who shows up in a story only because the writer needs someone to create conflict.  Pay attention to Beni (Kevin J. O’Connor) in this.  He is directly responsible for every single bad thing that happens.  And, if someone just put a bullet in him the first time he did something that clearly warranted immediate execution (At the ten minute mark, by the way.  Though an argument could be made for eight minutes, I would vote for a severe beating, not death, for that act.) then everything would have turned out fine.  The Beni character is all too common these days, especially in the realm of horror, where nearly every horror movie (and most science fiction) relies purely on at least one character being as stupid as humanly possible in order to move the plot along (see: any ghost movie, Drag Me to Hell, Prometheus, Sunshine, etc.).  It also serves as a reminder that while CGI can do amazing things, it shouldn’t be a star unto itself.  Anyhow, I think this was the movie where I first really noticed Rachel Weisz.  And for that, it deserves a certain place in my movie lover’s heart.

    I read B.P.R.D. volume 3.  That continues to be an excellent series, and I can’t wait to read the next volume, which should be out in a little over a month.  And first volume of the New 52 Aquaman, which was a heck of a lot of fun.

    And in the wake of the Hellboy reading of last week, I finally sat down to the Library Edition volume 5, as well as the finishing part of that story, the trade paperback The Storm and the Fury.  Kept chugging along and read the short story anthology The Bride of Hell.

    After the extremely fun Aquaman: The Trench, I figured what the heck, and read that series’ issue 0.  It’s pretty much just a glossed over origin story.  Not much actual depth, but at least it gives you a few facts of his beginnings.

    Issue 63 of Futurama was pretty funny.  It got a couple good chuckles out of me, actually.  They do a good job of capturing the characters from the show.  You can almost hear the voice actors as you read.  There’s certainly nothing of consequence going on.  But it’s perfectly enjoyable silliness.

    Issue 0 of Batman The Dark Knight is a reminder of how familiar Bruce Wayne’s origins are at this point, and how it might be time to stop revisiting it.  Everything here is stuff you’ve seen before, from a slightly different angle.  Not really an interesting one.

-Matt