Monday, August 1, 2011

A Belated Fistful of America! (Brad's Picks)

So, with this post I welcome myself back to ITMOD.  I really wanted to keep up with the blog while I was in San Diego but dammit I was just having too much fun.  A Comic Con post is coming in the next few days, but first I want to celebrate this great land with my Fistful of America.  Matt's list was pretty darn epic and I don't think mine is quite as awesome, but I had to give it a shot.

5.  The Statue of Liberty Parade of Hope (Ghostbusters 2):  She may or may not be naked under that toga, but when the Ghostbusters are going up against the painted Vigo they gotta call on the old girl to kick a little NY City Ass with the help of some love-juiced goo.

4.  The American Ninja Poster (American Ninja):  A VHS classic of my youth and maybe not the most Gung Ho America movie ever made, but damn do I love that poster.  "The Deadliest Art of the Orient is now in the hands of an American."  Oh snap, watch out foreign devils!  America is gonna beat you at your own game.  Jingoistic and ridiculous, can't help but love it.  Michael Dudikoff, baby.

3.  A Mission From God Gets A Soundtrack (The Blues Brothers):  This may have found its way onto the list cuz I'm watching it right now and loving every R & B moment of it, and even though Jake & Elwood's quest to save their bankrupt orphanage might not be very "American" (well, maybe it is), the pulsing, rocking motown soundtrack sure as hell is.  James Brown, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, John Lee Hooker, and Rawhide.  Start waving your flags people.

2.  Anzor Yugorksy Strips Down To His Duke (Running Scared):  Wayne Kramer's Running Scared is an underrated bizarro crime classic.  It's a neon noir Stray Dog with Paul Walker's lowrent hood descending down the rabbit hole in a race against the clock to find his missing six shooter.  Squished between the pedophile nosferatus and the scarface wannabe pimps is Karl Roden's dirtbag Russian father who idolizes the hell outta John Wayne (and in particular, his role in The Cowboys).  When it's finally time for him to step up to the plate and be a man, he strips himself of his shirt revealing The Duke inked on his back, and he struts himself towards his destiny.  Maybe not guns blazing, but head held high.  The Cowboy Way, the American Way.

1.  Rocky Bridges Nations (Rocky IV):  After the villainous Ivan Drago murders his BFF in the ring, Rocky Balboa must travel behind the Iron Curtain to wage war against the technological Super Man.  Running up snowy mountains and benching tree trunks, Rocky gets fit and pummels the mad Russian to the brink of death and humiliation.  In doing so, the Russian audience sees the soul of a warrior and chants "Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart!  Wal-Mart!"  And Ronald Reagan was finally able to tear down that wall.  Big Macs For Everybody!


No comments:

Post a Comment