New Release Tuesday!!! (9/3/13)

Today's pretty much a bust.  Sure, we've got a few flicks that I want to check out, but there's nothing out there right now screaming for a MUST BUY.  Don't worry though, next week the world will be blessed with Star Trek Into Darkness......uh, yeah....prepare for some epic hypocrisy on ITMOD's part.  Until then, grab your best glue-on Selleck 'stache and roll your pennies because Jesse Stone is all boxed up for your pleasure.

BUY?

Jesse Stone - The Complete Collection:  I grew up entranced by the cool of Tom Selleck.  Magnum P.I. was a staple of our household; to this day I'm just biding my time till The Wife & I can dump our lives and finally set up our Hawaiian detective agency.  Of course, we all know that Selleck was never able to break free from that character.  Despite wildly entertaining films like Runaway & Quigley Down Under, he never made a career out of the big screen like he rightfully deserved.  A few miserable misfires later (Mr. Baseball, Her Alibi) and Selleck simply settled into the TV guy.  Friends, Last Stand At Sabre River, Boston Legal, Monte Walsh.  Some decent stuff, but nothing terribly exciting.  When the Jesse Stone TV Movies plopped onto the boob tube I didn't really bother - they just seemed like the kinda movies the Barnes & Noble grannies consumed and no other.  Then the boys over at cineAWESOME! did their Stonetastic episodes, and they convinced me to purchase the first Robert Parker adaptation.  I was pretty much hooked.  You can read my own Jesse Stone adventures right HERE.  Ok.  They're not "great" films, but they are addictive.  And the series contains a killer cast of background players: Saul Rubinek, William Sadler, Viola Davis, Stephen McHattie, Rebecca Pidgeon, William Devane, Krista Allen, Mimi Rogers, etc.  And now all the Stone films are gathered in one big box complete with your very own PPD Baseball Cap.  But does it come with whisky & depression too?

Bay of Blood:  Kino continues its Mario Bava Blu Ray Collection with this grandaddy slasher.  Here is the film where Jason Voorhees got all his tricks.  Bay of Blood is not as classy or as iconic as Bava's Black Sabbath or Danger Diabolik, but it's certainly more grand guignol with the proper geysers of gore.  And as with previous Bava Kino releases, the bloody reds will look beautifully beastly in HD.


RENT!

The Iceman:  Haven't seen it yet, but Michael Shannon is definitely the guy to play the infamous mafioso hitman.  Just look at that poster!  Is there anything scarier than that stare?  Don't think so.  Too bad Zack Snyder couldn't quite capture the fear brought on by the Shannon brow.  Sure, he made plenty use of his twitchy screams...."I WILL FIND HIM!"  But that's neither here nor there, I'm just doing that blogger thing in which I slam on something while praising another - how very hipster of me?  After all, how else can I fill up this page with drivel?

Now You See Me:  I need to see this simply for the cast.  Word on the street is "mediocre" but I don't think another film this year has assembled a group of actors this eclectic or interesting.  I doubt Michael Caine & Morgan Freeman get much screentime, but I'm excited to see the Zombieland reunion of Woody Harrelson & Jesse Eisenberg.  Plus, Mark Ruffalo always cranks out a good detective.

Empire State:  Well, this just appeared outta nowhere.  How broken is cinema that a film staring The Rock goes straight to DVD?  Or is the real question, how terrible is Empire State that it goes straight to DVD?  Lughead Liam Hemsworth can't cut it in the NYPD so he settles for a gig driving an Armored Car.  Heists & Hijinks ensue, and The Rock shows up to take down the troublemakers.  The trailer looks.......like a movie.  A movie we've all seen a half dozen times already.  Still, Dwayne Johnson is making a play for 2013's Actor of the Year and ITMOD is committed to all of his properties.

AVOID!

The Lords of Salem:  I root for Rob Zombie.  Not sure why as nearly all of his films have disappointed me in some fashion.  The man has a sense of style for sure.  He obviously likes the same movies I like.  But as he pulls from Stanely Kubrick & Roman Polanski he just can't make his copies work on their own.  The Lords of Salem has a great cast of iconic actors, but it's also spearheaded by a vacuous lead performance from Zombie's own wife.  Frankly, if you're into this sorta thing you should probably just watch The Devil's Rain.  It's campy, stupid, beautiful, and genuine.  The Lords of Salem is just another nostalgic pretender to the throne.

Sharknado:  I just can't.  Purposeful "Bad Movie" Making is becoming more than a little tiresome.  I know we live in a pop culture universe where nostalgia is king, and we love to laugh at idiocy as much as we do at real comedy.  But Sharknedo?  It's a tornedo filled with sharks!?!?  That's hilarious!......no, it's dumb.  And the movie looks like crap cuz it is crap and not ironically amazing or whatever.  Stop supporting crap.  Go watch Death Race 2000 instead.

--Brad

New Release Tuesday! (9/18/12)

Oh boy.  This week is gonna be hard on the wallet.  I've already snatched up the Indy box set and as I type I'm halfway through the third film.  So dang good.  But this week also offers up one of this year's best films, some classic Mario Bava, the best film in the Halloween franchise, High Def Ed Wood, and The Winchester Brothers.  Frankly, this is all Must Buy stuff for me but if yer only going to go with one purchase this week you already know it's gotta be --

MUST BUY DVD OF THE WEEK!

Indiana Jones Blu Ray Box Set:  Watching the films this very second, I gotta say that the transfer is not the mind blowing experience that was the Jaws disc from a few weeks back.  Still, Raiders of the Lost Ark & Temple of Doom are absolutely gorgeous looking movies.  Not to mention that the Indy movies (yes, including Kingdom of the Crystal Skull--shut up, haters) are some of the best examples of Adventure Cinema going.  Harrison Ford's Dr. Jones was probably my first cinematic role model.  Sure, my first love was the Star Wars trilogy but as a kid the guy I wanted to grow up to be was Indiana Jones.  Cool.  Rough.  Did the right thing, but wasn't afraid to shoot a guy when his back was up against a wall.  And yeah, a little fortune & glory would be nice.

BUY!

Halloween III - Season of the Witch:  This might be blasphemy to some and a few of you might jump ship at the following thought, but Halloween III is the best of the franchise.  You heard me, forget the John Carpenter original.  I like my pumpkin holiday with a heavy dose of sex machine Tom Atkins and mind warping druidic television commercials.  Season of the Witch is a weird, weird, really freaking weird addition to the Halloween saga and I really wish it had been a success so that we could have been gifted with a whole series of Twilight Zoney flicks rather than the endlessly bland resurrections of Michael Myers' stab-a-thons.

Cabin in the Woods:  I'm not sure I totally buy the hype with this flick, but at the same time Cabin in the Woods is still one of the best films of the year so far (queue ITMOD bitching about what a crappy year 2012 has been).  Joss Whedon's script is very Joss Whedony and I'm not even sure if that annoys me anymore in these post-AVENGERS IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD days.  If I had any complains about this film is that the Horror Elements are not nearly as effective as the wink-wink comedic bits.

Supernatural Season 7:  Not my favorite season of the show.  In fact, it might be my least favorite season so far.  Lots of good humor and action from the boys but the whole Leviathan plot never quite gelled in the same fashion that the War in Heaven did.  But where do you go once you've stopped the Apocalypse?  But they still make me squeal and I'll keep watching until its finally cancelled.

Black Sunday:  One of three Bava flicks hitting blu ray today, Black Sunday is the quintessential Italian Horror mashing the queen of scream Barbara Steele with the intoxicating camera of Bava.  Surreal, diabolic, intoxicating.  It's been a few years since I've had the pleasure and I'm quite looking forward to wrapping myself in the grip of Bava's HD Iron Maiden.

Judge Dredd:  Ok.  Yeah.  This sucks.  Rob Schneider...damn, you are the worst thing to happen to 2000 AD.  And the helmet comes off and stays off and that's horrendously offensive to Euro Comic fans.  But, at the same time, Judge Dredd movie!!!!  Even in the great franchise grab of the 1990s (ha! as if there's an end in sight!) the idea of a Judge Dredd movie was freakishly unreal--and we're getting another one this very month!  Wow.  The Stallone flick is only 10 bucks on blu and it's worth that, a good dip into Mega City One before we hopefully get the genius of Karl Urban's lawgiver.

Ed Wood:  Man, it's so easy to hate on Tim Burton these days.  Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.  Alice in Wonderland.  Dark Shadows.  Terrible.  But once upon a time, Tim Burton was one of my favorite directors and Ed Wood is his masterpiece.  Burton drenches this film with love and affection, and this allows you a window into the beauty of trash filmmaking.  You don't mock Ed Wood, you cherish his enthusiasm, you admire his tenacity.  You don't feel sorry for him, you envy him.  Lovable little weirdo.  And yep, Johnny Depp has never been better.


RENT!

The Babymakers:  "The Jizz is up."  Groan.  Olivia Munn.  Double groan.  However, The Babymakers is directed by two members of the Broken Lizard gang and after my rewatch of The Slammin Salmon  I've been craving their obscene brand of oddball comedy.

The Victim:  Michael Biehn directs himself and his wife in this backwoods horror story and as much as I'm in the mood for the mean, axe swinging butchery of grizzled Michael Biehn the trailer for The Victim looks mediocre at best.  And I have not heard good things.  But, dammit, this is Navy Seals here.  He can do no wrong. ... ... ... Look, I've already admitted that I enjoy Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, that Halloween III is better than the John Carpenter classic, and I have an unhealthy affection for Sam & Dean Winchester, so I might as well go all out and say that Navy Seals is a helluva good time at the movies.

--Brad

Dork Art: Del Toro's Fright Nights

Some days I wish I lived in Canada.  Last month in Toronto, my favorite horror mag Rue Morgue sponsored a five night horror film festival hosted by director Guillermo Del Toro called Fright Nights.  To comemorate the event, Phantom City Creative produced two beautiful posters showcasing the director and the five films (Cronos, The Devil's Backbone, The Innocents, Black Sabbath, & L'arcano incantatore).  So you missed the event?  The good news is that they have the posters for sale up on their site.  They measure 12 x 36; the regular version will set ya back $40 and the variant $60.  Grab 'em while they're hot.  But while you're there you might also want to grab the Buck Banzai, The Gate, and Rabid posters they did for Mondo as well.

Oh!  They also have produced the below fake promo poster for The Strain.  When the first book in that series came out Del Toro & Hogan were threatening a film series to follow and even though I have my doubts about that I'd still love to see it come to fruition.  

--Brad