A Fistful of Cinematic Resolutions 2014! (Brad's Picks)

Last year I attempted to stretch my cinematic muscles and fill the gaping gaps in my 34 years of movie watching.  It took almost an entire year, but I finally consumed Singin' In The Rain, 8 1/2, Gone With The Wind, The African Queen, and Birth of a Nation.  I know, shameful, right?  I'm not here to make excuses.  I could mock you for not having partaken in real art like Starcrash or The Monster Squad, but I'm not a snooty A-hole like you hipster jerkwads obviously are.......yeah...ok...I'm obviously dealing with some not-so-latent film fanaticism ego issues.  It feels good to finally have those films under my belt.  I mean, Birth of a Nation - that is one astonishingly evil film.  We all know it's the product of some serious institutionalized racism, but I actually found it more palatable than the horror show on display in Gone With The Wind.  I kinda hate that film now.  I think the argument could be made that Gone With The Wind is no less vile than Birth of a Nation with its happy slaves and slap crazed Scarlet O'Hara.  And I didn't particularly take to Federico Fellini's 8 1/2 either.  I can appreciate the pain of the creative process and Marcello Mastroianni is certainly intoxicating to watch, but the film equaled little more than a reference point for The Great Beauty.  I never emotionally invested.  The African Queen was fun.  But I'll take The Maltese Falcon for my Bogart/Huston love.  As it turns out the film I enjoyed the most out of last year's resolutions was the one I was anticipating the least - Singin' In The Rain.  That is one joyous outpouring of love for cinema, and it slapped a massive smile on my face.

New year, new resolutions.  I filled out this current batch with a fistful of movies I'm sick & tired of hearing about from family & friends.  There is some stuff for cineastes as well as the VH1 crowd.  I've done a little cheating, pairing a couple of films as a means of completing filmmaker legacies.  There are certainly a few flicks here that I'm ashamed for having missed so far.  It's impossible to see all the movies, but that doesn't mean we can't try.  These are the musts for 2014, but I'm still working my way through Roger Ebert's The Great Films as well as sailing full steam ahead with those unwatched Criterion's sitting next to my television.  I've got my fingers crossed that some of these Resolutions find their way to the AFI Silver or The Alamo like they did with Gone With The Wind and 8 1/2, but I won't hold my breath either.  I've already procured blu rays for everything here with the exception of the Number One spot.

5.  Saturday Night Fever/Grease:  I've been talking to a lot of folks in an effort to determine the other big holes in my cultural knowledge.  The film most people seemed shocked to discover that I've never seen all the way through is Grease.  Why is that?  Most people seem to follow the conversation to a place where they mock the film's morals, but still support the music.  This leads to other talk surrounding Travolta and that disco behemoth known as Saturday Night Fever.  So, this is obviously where I have to start my New Year.  John Travolta.  Blow Out.  Pulp Fiction.  Look Who's Talking.  This man has made some of my favorite movies.  Will I add two more to the list?

4.  Tokyo Story:  This film ranks #3 on the BFI's 50 Greatest Films of All Time; right behind Vertigo & Citizen Kane.  Those are two films that proved to live up to their hyperbolic praise, so here's hoping.  In college, all the hardcore film freaks geeked at the genius of Yasujiro Ozu, but in 1998 I was more concerned with the genius of Clint Eastwood & John Carpenter to be bothered with the arty-farty.  I'd like to think that I've made great strides in the last decade, but Tokyo Story has remained a dead zone.  Criterion's recent blugrade gives offers No Excuses.  The film might not contain any noble samurai, but I look forward to some real-deal cultural enlightenment.

3.  Duck Soup:  Comedy, like musicals, has never been my thing.  I'll bust a gut for movies like The Blues Brothers, The Big Lebowski, or even Your Highness, but I've never bothered to explore the history of the genre.  A funny thing (pun intended) has happened in the last couple of years though.  Again, thanks to those good folks over at Criterion, I've discovered a great fondness for Charlie Chaplin & Harold Lloyd.  Pratfalls and bad luck are timeless.  Some of the biggest laughs I had last year were watching Chaplin navigate the tortures of the rich in City Lights.  And now it's time to branch out from the Criterion Cult - get into the Talkies.  It's impossible growing up to avoid The Marx Brothers completely.  I may have never seen one of their films, but I've certainly encountered Groucho in Looney Tune homage.  He sure does have a goofy mustache.  But it's time to peek behind the curtain of iconography and delve into a classic.

2.  Spartacus/Lolita/Barry Lyndon:  I'm probably more disgusted with myself for having not seen these three films than any other on this list.  Stanley Kubrick - The God Of Film.  You can't call yourself a movie lover without bowing down to the supremacy of 2001 A Space Odyssey.  With the exception of these flicks I've seen every single one of his films.  Some I don't get (A Clockwork Orange, Full Metal Jacket), some I ignore (Fear & Desire, Killer's Kiss), some I like (Paths of Glory, Dr Strangelove), some I love (The Killing, The Shining, Eyes Wide Shut), and one I worship (the aforementioned 2001).  Is he the single greatest director to ever craft a film?  I'm sure that's debatable.  But it's a debate I cannot partake in until I seen Spartacus, Lolita, & Barry Lyndon.

1.  The Other Godzillas:  Similar to appreciating Kubrick, you cannot call yourself a movie maniac without loving Godzilla.  It's a fact, look it up.  I've watched Gojira a dozen times by this point in my life, but I've only seen one other member of the Godzilla franchise - Ghedora the Three Headed Monster (thanks to Co-Dork Matt actually).  Having recently devoured and obsessed over James Stokoe's Half Century War, and with the upcoming Summer reboot from Gareth Edwards, it's time that I got down and dirty with Ishiro Honda.   I'm not committing to all of the Godzilla films; I'm letting Matt pick the essentials for me.  I might have to get creative with acquiring some of these films (OOP folks is a real bummer), but I'm planning on seeing Rodan, Mothra, Mothra Vs Godzilla, Invasion of the Astromonster, Godzilla Vs The Sea Monster, Godzilla Vs Hedorah, Godzilla Vs Megalon, Godzilla Vs Mechagodzilla, and Terror of Mechagodzilla before the May 16th release date of the new film.  Better get hot, that's a lotta movies.

--Brad

Matt’s Week in Dork! (9/15/13-9/21/13)

I'm no flat tire. How 'bout a Gin Rickey?

    Trying to fit some reading and some writing in, but mostly just working and recovering from working.  Got a little cycling in.  Otherwise, mostly just stared at my walls.

Riddick:  “It matches your nipples.”  This movie is not horrible, and that’s about all I wanted from it.  I really enjoyed Pitch Black, and while I kinda enjoy Chronicles of Riddick, it never quite worked for me, seeing how it seems to take place in a totally different style of science fiction universe.  This third film feels more like Pitch Black in style, though it holds over some elements of the more fanciful Chronicles.  It starts as a Robinson Crusoe story, with Riddick left for dead on a hostile world, learning to live and thrive in the environment.  This is the best part of the movie, and I was a little sad to see him push the button that would summon more characters and shift the tone.  From that point on, it began to smell more and more of Pitch Black rehash, though it still wasn’t bad.  The dialog is frequently awkward (though nothing tops ‘you keep what you kill’ and a dozen other idiocies from Chronicles’ Necromongers).  As a science fiction movie?  This is pretty crappy.  As a fun, silly adventure film in space, this is exactly what I was looking for.  Again, if movies like this, After Earth, Oblivion, etc. were just more common, I’d be a bit harsher on them.  But as it is, big-idea, out there science fiction is still all too rare.

Beyond the Rocks:  I’m always happy to hear about movies thought lost that are rediscovered and recovered.  But, while the fact of its recovery is good, the movie itself is so-so.  A fairly bland romantic film with little to make it stand out.  Apparently, putting two big names in one feature (here, Valentino and Gloria Swanson) was unusual.  Sadly, neither seems to be especially energetic or interesting.  I’m assuming Valentino is better elsewhere, because as far as silent actors go, he did not impress in this film, and I know ladies went nuts for him once upon a time.

The Delicious Little Devil:  Not much to this short film.  It’s mildly amusing.  But it’s also pretty darned forgettable.

The Bad and the Beautiful:  Kirk Douglas’s eyes should be registered as deadly weapons.  The man can hate-stare so intently it makes women pregnant and men into women (who subsequently discover they are pregnant).  The rest of the cast is quite good.  I especially like Walter Pidgeon and Barry Sullivan (who was also awesome in the recently viewed Tension).  But it’s Douglas’s movie, and he’s a mad genius who takes no guff.  Hollywood is skewered from the inside by this expose sort of movie.  But it makes all the dirty backstage dealings seem sort of charming and exciting, anyway.  Gloria Grahame shows up briefly (somehow earning an Oscar for the part, which isn't much more than a glorified cameo) as a conniving, luxury hungry wife, and she’s quite good.

    Friday night, we all gathered at Robert’s place for a Barbeque and graphic novel club meeting.  We discussed Astonishing X-Men volumes revolving around the marriage of Northstar and his idiot boyfriend Kyle.  I was unable to read the whole assigned work for various reasons.  But as far as I made it, it was bloody awful.  I have come to hate the X-Men (and the Avengers right along side).  Just dreadful writing and awful characters.  Enough of this status quo maintaining mandated garbage.

Looks like Kyle read this garbage.

Valley of the Dragons:  I had never heard of this particular adaptation of a Jules Verne story, and I guess I can understand why.  It’s not especially interesting.  Still, I do love lost world stories.  And a lost world that is also on the Moon?  Cool.  Two big problems present themselves, however.  I don’t like when real animals are used as ‘dinosaurs.’  Partly, because they look terrible.  But mostly because I don’t like that so often it is clear that the animal was being mistreated to get the shot right.  No, I don’t think lizards have a great deal of mental capacity, nor are the self aware.  But needlessly causing pain to an animal, even to reptiles or insects seems barbaric and lacing in a degree of class.  The second problem is Rodan.  Yes, Rodan.  The giant kaiju from Japan seems to be flying around this moonscape.  I guess they had access to the footage and thought nobody would notice?  But I noticed.  Getting past that, the story of two rivals forced to work together on a hostile world is pretty good, and their adventures with the local population are nice.  The Neanderthals and whatever the heck the albino things were (Morlocks?) are especially disgusting.  Worth a watch if you’re into this sort of film, but not one to expend a great deal of effort tracking down.

    Saturday found me feeling pretty crappy, my weeks of not sleeping and stress finally catching up with me.  Some kind of cold or something.  Oh, boy.  I started going through my various con acquisitions and other sundry things that have been piling up of late.  In doing so, I read through three comics I got from local artist/writer Andy K.  Mind Games is a pretty gross little horror short.  The Secret Origin of John Elway is nuts.  And Neon Super Gladiator has a cool feel.  His stuff reminds me of something that might have been on Liquid Television back in the 90s.  Weird and uncomfortable.  I also read Jennifer Hachigian’s Pocket Editor Two, which she gave me because she liked my shirt (“Arthur Turing Fought Nazis With Science”).  It plays on that old video game thing with “All your base are belong to us” but manages to correct the grammar.  I flipped through super-nice guy Alex Fine’s Il Brutto, which re-imagines various movie characters as played by Charles Bronson.  And lastly, I looked through Sam Wolk’s Alpha Beasts and Alpha Bots, two collections of 26 drawings, each based on a letter (T is for Twiki, J is for Jersey Devil, etc.).  Quite cool.  I still have more stuff to get to, and some prints to frame.

    When I got home Friday night, I had a package waiting for me.  I keep forgetting that I’m a patron of the arts.  My old high school chum Serena Andrews is a musician and artist, and has a project she’s working on that involves a tour and a book.  I got some perks for my donation to the project, including a CD of music by Serena, which I listened to on Saturday afternoon.  Buried somewhere in the attic of my mother’s house is a cassette of Serena's music she put out back in the mid 90s.  I always liked her stuff, and still do.  It has a Tori Amos/Regina Spektor kind of thing going, with a bit of Kate Bush and Laurie Anderson.  All good in my book.

    And late Saturday night I picked up and finished the very short, but fun book Bright Young Things by Alison Maloney.  It’s a hand book for Roaring 20s living, with phrases, cocktails, party plans, and fashion, mixed with historic notes and cultural gossip of the time.  The book doesn’t go into a great deal of depth, but I think it would be a handy guide to have while reading fiction of the time (like The Great Gatsby), or history texts (like Flapper), or for those inclined, playing period roleplaying games (like Call of Cthulhu).  If you're looking for a sweet biscuit for barney-making, and you need to know if the bank's closed, this book ain't banana oil.  It's the elephant's instep, see.

-Matt

New Release Tuesday!!! (4/23/13)

I'm still giddy over last week's Django Unchained release, and I'm not quite done with the multiple exclusives I ridiculously purchased.  And I haven't even cracked open my Criterion Repo Man!  So, it's just a-okay, that this week offers very little in the way of Must-Buys.  We can use a break until the Summer starts cranking out the essential purchases.  However, there are still a couple of gems to take a look at this week.  A look into the Black & White past is your best bet, the newer releases are just fine but not necessarily demanded by your DVD shelf.

BUY!

Champion:  I'm a sucker for a good boxing movie.  And I'm as equally a sucker for these Olive Film blu ray releases.  China Gate, Johnny Guitar, Ramrod.  Classics & not-so-classics have never looked better.  I cannot attest to the genius of this film but Kirk Douglas bashing it out with various dopes in the ring while fending off the whims of Marilyn Maxwell - sounds like a good enough time to me.  The problem will come in how does one consume this picture?  The On Demand options aren't there yet, nor the Netflix route.  If you wanna see it you might find it on some Internet backchannels, but since I don't do that kinda thing, looks like I'm stuck with the Buy route.  See my future Weeks in Dork for the inevitable opinion.

RENT!

Gangster Squad:  All the way up to its release I had high hopes for Gangster Squad.  I love the period.  I loved Josh Brolin, the law enforcer.  I loved Ryan Gosling's squeaky voice.  And I loved Sean Penn's big block Dick Tracy head.  But the film never gels.  It's....ok.  The film starts off as Sin City mean, but loses its way with Emma Stone's moll, and Josh Brolin is never as beastily as he should be.  Not to mention, the digital photography looks like genuine ass.  Sure, you could do worse (see The Black Dahlia), but you're better off with flicks like LA Confidential and even Mulholland Falls.

Jurassic Park 3D:  Just weeks after the theatrical release, Jurassic Park hits your 3D tvs and maybe you care and maybe you don't.  My television is of the lowly 2D variety, so there is no sense in me picking up this disc.  However, I really enjoyed seeing Steven Speilberg's dino romp on the big screen despite its awkward barrage of floating lens flares, and I can see the appeal of darting from T-Rex's on the couch.  One of these days I'll make the plunge and Jurassic Park 3D will probably be one of my first purchases.

The Impossible:  No film made me cry harder last year than The Impossible.  An absolutely punishing film that grabs at all the right heartstrings.  It's not the type of movie that you watch over and over again, so I see no point to adding it to the collection.  But if you haven't seen it and you're in the mood for a good, life-affirming cry than pop it on your queue.  Not to mention it contains some of the best gore makeup I've seen in recent years.  Lots of hanging flesh bits.  Sounds fun, right?

Richard III:  This is one of my favorite works of Shakespeare, but I have never seen the Laurence Olivier version.  Ian McKellen has always been my favorite psycho king.  Now we get a fancy new blu ray upgrade from Criterion and purply new cover.  No more excuses, gotta check it out.  However, I don't like the new purply cover.  I like the Kingdom for a Horse and the mustard yellow background of the original disc.

--Brad

Dork Art: Mondo 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea

Tomorrow, Mondo unleashes their latest Disney print and it's actually something I give a damn about.  Ken Taylor's 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea measures 24 x 36 and will set you back $50 if yer lucky enough to click on their site at the right second.

--Brad