Matt’s Week in Dork! (6/9/13-6/15/13)

    On Sunday I watched a bit of Charlie’s Angels.  Not a great show at all, but fun, and good to have on in the background if you’re doing something physical.

    Also on Sunday, I read the not very good Superman and Batman Versus Aliens and Predator.  Not near as fun as it should have been.  But I followed that up with Invincible Volume 6, which was awesome.  Darned fine series.  Over the rest of the week, I also read the first volume of Boom! Studio’s Planet of the Apes series, and the first (only?) volume of The Calling, another Boom! Studios Lovecraft inspired series.  Both are OK.

Attack Force:  “She has a lot of special abilities.”  Renaissance man Steven Seagal really goes for the gusto in this film he not only produced and starred in, but also wrote, nay, composed the screenplay for.  The dialog is truly inspiring, like Shakespeare had dirty ally sex with Hemmingway.  This film brings home the classic advice my grandfather once gave to me.  Don’t bring a Goth prostitute you met at a Hungarian titty bar back to your hotel room.  Timeless advice.  I also respect the filmmakers’ choice to randomly dub Seagal’s voice with someone who doesn’t sound a bit like him.  Very artistic.  I also love the way very little makes any sense, scenes just happen, then more happen, but none seem to actually lead to the next.  A bold vision.  And the juxtaposition of student-film style with occasional dashes of professionalism makes such a poetic story that much more meaningful.  It is just so, so good.  Seagal is iconic.  He’s like the Joe Don Baker of my generation.  So inspirational.

Into the Sun:  “That’s why I brought you in, Big Papa.”  Thank goodness, when the chips are down, and you’re stuck in Tokyo with an assassination to investigate, you can find an expert on the Yakuza.  Steven Seagal!  Even the Japanese police know who really knows about Tokyo, Japanese culture, Japanese sword fighting, and Japanese organized crime.  Yes, Steven Seagal.  Being a magnanimous man, Seagal teaches the Japanese the right way to be Japanese, showing the young criminals their cultural heritage.  It’s heartening to see someone so clearly versed in another culture showing people from that culture how they should live.  Almost as heartening as seeing a middle aged fat white guy making out with a 20 year old Japanese girl.  Seagal really makes the best films.  And yes, he wrote and performed songs on the soundtrack.  You’re welcome.

His Girl Friday: “And never mind the European war.  We got something a whole lot bigger than that.”  Many, many moons ago, I’d watched this film during some kind of classic kick, but I didn’t like it at all.  Something about the tone had been off-putting.  Ha, ha, ha---Attempted suicide!---Ha, ha, ha.  But this time around, it didn’t bother me.  It’s not great, but it does have great bits.  If anything, it feels a bit too clever for its own good.  That said, the gag about how Bruce looks like ‘that guy they put in movies…Ralph Bellamy’ because he’s played by Ralph Bellamy, did get a good laugh out of me.  As did Cary Grant’s weird reference to the suicide of Archie Leach (his real name).  This is one of those movies that were more common then, where lots of characters staccato dialog at or past each other, making you have to pay darned close attention to everything going on.  I’ve seen it done better, but I’ve seen it done worse.  I always love Grant, but this still isn’t one of my favorites of his.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters:  “Once upon a time…near a shitty little town...”  I know Terry Gilliam’s Brothers Grimm had it’s problems.  But I found the film enjoyable, even if it was obvious he was just doing a forgettable mainstream movie so he could get money for something he cared about (I’m probably the only person who loved Tideland).  However, this movie seems to capitalize on all the things about Brothers Grimm that didn’t work.  Too much CGI.  Too much humor…that isn’t funny.  Most scenes featuring witches inexplicably look cheaper and more ‘made for TV’ than the scenes without.  I’m even more frustrated that they had all the people and material together to do a modern Hammer Horror type film, but made this craptacular instead.

Black Rock:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!  This movie suuuuuuuuuucks so hard.  This movie sucks like black holes suck.  It’s the gravitational pull of a suck the likes of which even Stephen Hawking has not conceived.  The only thing that doesn’t make me swell with righteous rage is that for once, a movie set in Maine was filmed in Maine. So it looks like Maine, not Vancouver.  But who cares!?  It’s so stupid.  The dialog feels adlib, by people who suck at adlib.  The characters are all awful, shallow monsters.  It felt like a really awful student film that wouldn’t stop.

Superman Unbound:  The animation in this film is super crappy, and the script juvenile at best.  The voice work is OK, but they’ve got nothing to work with.  And weirdly, it’s very violent for such a kiddie film.  Whatever the target audience, it‘s a miss.  It looks bad, sounds bad, and is bad.

Oz The Great and Powerful:  “Oh, my.  It’s very tight in here.”  Parts of this movie feel like watching someone play a video game.  Yes, in part it’s the rampant and not very good CGI, but it’s also the way the camera moves, like an AI following certain parameters, as opposed to an artist making choices.  The CG in this film is actually surprisingly bad.  I’m used to bad CG being passed off in big budget films, but even so, this was a surprise.  It’s the kind of wonky effects, where things don’t look right or mesh well, like you might expect from the early 90s…on TV.  But getting past the technical ineptitude of the production, the script and performances are also dreadful.  I’m not the biggest fan of 1939’s Wizard of Oz.  But it deserved better than this.  And that’s not even considering the original books, which I do like.  James Franco is embarrassing.  Sadly, the rest of the cast seems to be taking their cues from him.  Even Rachel Weisz, who is among my favorite currently active actresses, is bad here.  What gives?

Snitch:  Basically a social commentary film about the dangers and abuse of the ‘mandatory minimum’ laws.  It’s a pretty meh story, but Dwayne Johnson is really good in it.  Man, I love The Rock.  I don’t know how this guy has become one of my favorite actors out there, but he has.  He’s so danged charismatic.  And he puts in a darned fine performance here.  I guess if this movie makes people think about how completely upside down our criminal system is when it comes to drug related sentencing, that’s probably a good thing.  But I don’t think anyone out there with more than three brain cells to rub together thinks the current system works.  So, probably not an issue.  It’s not a great movie, but it’s good enough, and The Rock is really good.

    On Friday night, we had our monthly meeting of our graphic novel club, hosted by Lisa and Brad.  This month we read All-Star Superman.  A few people seemed very taken with the book (myself included), several seemed nonplussed by its weird take on the iconic character.  A lot of characters from the big two interest me, but typically I don’t actually like what I read about them.  Silver Surfer?  Honestly, haven’t read anything I’d call ‘good’ with him in it.  Wonder Woman?  Same.  Black Panther, Doctor Strange, the Challengers of the Unknown, Adam Strange.  The list goes on.  In most of those cases, there is some essential idea, some ideal or archetype that attracts me to the possibility, if not the actuality.  All Star Superman gets to that essential concept of the character, its mythological center, and explores not just some adventure for a hero to go on, but the very nature of who and what that hero is.  It’s a treatment I so wish other characters could receive.

Doctor Who: Silver Nemesis:  “What are you?  Social workers?”  Ace and the Doctor have returned to England in 1988, where Nazis, aliens, and Ren-fair expats are up to no good.  There’s a lot of goofy nudge-nudge humor based around Windsor Castle and royalty.  Kind of indicative of this late era Doctor, it’s very kitchen sink storytelling, with too many balls in the air, and not enough holding it all together.  This was the 25th anniversary story, and it’s interesting to see all the location shooting.  But the story is pretty crappy.  By this point, the series seems to have lost its way, going off in directions that feel off-key and confused.

Tron Legacy:  I think this was my fourth time watching it this year.  Perhaps that’s overkill.  But I wanted it fresh in my head for my more extensive review.  I really do like this film.  Audio-visual stimulus of high order, and a philosophical bent I like a lot.  It’s always nice to see science fiction that isn’t anti-science.  And man, Olivia Wilde is cute.

Jaws 3D:  OK, here’s the thing.  I saw this movie, in 3D, when I was about 7 years old, in the theater.  And as a 7 year old kid, I thought this movie was flippin’ stupid and that the 3D sucked.  Seeing it again, all these years later, I was totally right.  That said, seeing it with friends and a good crowd at the Alamo Draft House theater, it was an enjoyable experience.  I have to give the filmmakers credit for embracing the silliness and gimmicky nature of 3D.  So many things are pointed or splashed or thrown at the audience that you constantly want to turn away.  And the editing is so egregious, it makes things all the funnier.  Shots hold WAY too long time and again.  Scenes are clearly over, but two or three beats past where you’re starting to feel uncomfortable, the cut finally happens.  There’s one reaction shot that goes on so long, I think the actor was breaking character to get on with whatever had to happen next, but the camera was still going.  What gives?  The script is laughable, the acting frequently worse.  And from the roaring shark, to the fat guy on the bumper boat, it’s filled with giggles and gaffes.  And Luis Gossett Jr.’s character feels like a bag of insensitive ethnic stereotypes (made worse when it’s revealed the ONLY other black person in the film is supposed to be his nephew…oh, dear).  It’s an absolute garbage film, and in 2D, has nearly nothing to offer.  If you enjoy the cheese of the 3D gimmick, it’s worth checking it out.  Otherwise, just avoid it like sane people would.

The Wicker Man:  “Heathens!  Bloody heathens!”  A stuffy cop played by Edward Woodward travels to a picturesque island populated by strange folk with a bit of a pagan bent.  It’s bad enough when they sing dirty songs about the landlord’s daughter, but things become intolerable when they start having relations in the fields.  And when Britt Ekland starts filming an erotic music video in the next room over, it’s time for a full on freak-out.  A deeply weird movie, it is an interesting look at a modern battle between Christianity and old world Celtic paganism.  Neither is portrayed as especially good.  But it’s a surprisingly non-judgmental, non-supernatural take on the Old Religion.  Christopher Lee and Edward Woodward are fantastic, the supporting cast, including the extras, were quite good.  And the location shooting is very nice.  Again, it’s a powerfully strange film, but one you should certainly check out.

    Well, dang it.  I managed to see two of the worst films released this year over the course of the last week.  I would not be at all surprised to fine both Oz the Great and Powerful and Black Rock on my 5 worst films of the year list come January.  Black Rock isn’t as bad as Bellflower (see two years ago) but it’s bloody awful.  And Oz just proves that Sam Raimi hasn’t evolved as a director in 30 years, but he’s using new technology.  A bad combo.

She read the 'script.'

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (11/25-12/1)

    Work continues to take up much of my time, though I’ve managed to get some reading in this week.  I’m getting a powerful itch to do some gaming again, so I think sometime in January I’ll try to host another game night.  It’s been too long.

Ultraviolet:  OK, look.  This is NOT a good movie.  No.  That’s misleading.  This is a really bad movie.  The script is garbage, and about 90% of the cast is almost as good.  Milla, who I love, is dreadful here (imagine her Alice performance from later Resident Evil films, cranked so far past 11 that it seems like self parody).  And Cameron Bright…gah, just looking at that kid makes me feel ill (I have a fear of Renaissance cherubs).  But I love Nick Chinlund and his germ phobia.  And William Fichtner’s sensitive vampire doctor is all teeth and unrequited love.  And I like a lot of the weird future setting.  The more surreal aspects (technology, especially) would have been nice in the MUCH better Aeon Flux.  I gather this film was heavily cut and suffered from studio interference, before release.  I kind of want to see an extended version.  It should be R-rated for absolute sure.  But at the same time, I don’t think another 30 or 40 minutes, even involving character development and ultra-violence, would actually fix it.  And the odd, CG gloss that hangs over everything, like someone went nuts with Photoshop blurring effects is just…weird.  Equilibrium, though extremely derivative, made me think that Kurt Wimmer might be a really strong new voice in science fiction, but this movie brings him down to Paul W.S. Anderson levels.  Not that I wouldn’t enjoy something schlocky piece ever year or two.  But I’d like to see more good stuff, too.

Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy:  As the first generation of Cold Warriors begin to fall to age and irrelevance, a deadly secret resting at the heart of England’s intelligence circles comes to light.  Is there a mole at the highest levels?  Which one of the trusted cadre of old spies might have been selling out to the other side for decades?  It’s up to a discarded old fossil and a young up and comer to find out.  Twists, turns, betrayals of the heart, of country, and of self.  Shadows, glances, and dark allies.  This is the stuff of Cold War dreams and nightmares.  An excellent cast plays a deadly game of chess in the shadow of the iron curtain.  The film does a fine job of recreating the era, from costumes to behavior.  It looks like the stuff of my early days (taking place just a couple years before I was born).

Hanna:  I ended up watching this movie again.  I just really dig the way Joe Wright handled familiar concepts.  Less about the destination, and more about the journey.  The cast, the music, the visuals.  It all comes together.  I wonder what Wright’s career is going to be like.  Mostly costume dramas, so far.  But this shows sign there might be something more.

Mystics of Bali:  “This is good blood!”  The most powerful wizard in the world is just a weird old man…or woman?  He’s like a pervert, shape-changing Yoda.  This movie reminds me how mysticism and mythology are full of really weird, really stupid ideas.  The lesson seems to be, don’t go to another country and learn their forms of black magic.  The bad dubbing and silly dialog should make for fun with friends.  Otherwise, this is a pretty bad flick.

Thirteen Days:  The Cuban Missile Crisis gets a tense, serious, and surprisingly non-sensationalistic take in this Cold War procedural.  The cast does a fine job, the tension is never nail biting, but still palpable.  And it shows most of the characters in a sympatric way, so that even many of the more boorish military types are seen as men trying to do what they think is right.  The dangers of miscommunication and lack of communication are clear, as well as being a slave to the past and expectations.

Rites of Frankenstein:  Poison Ivy as a blind vampire?  Some nice locations accidentally add quality to the film, but it’s still Jess Franco, so it still sucks.  I’m always a little impressed by how bad Franco botches everything he does.  A few good looking ladies.  A lot of boring talk.  A third of the movie is out of focus.  Yup.  Franco.

Franco!!!

Five Elements Ninjas:  “Secret weapons!  You bastards!”  Oh, man.  Right from the start, we’re treated to some classic chop-socky bad dubbing.  And some crazy weapon combat.  I was jazzed right away, because, while I do love hand to hand fighting, I’m generally more of a fan of weapon combat.  And this movie had oodles of weapons clashing.  That said, the barehanded vs. katana fight is all kinds of badass.  A half hour in and I had learned two lessons.  First, fighting ninjas sucks.  Second, taking off a cape and tossing it aside just before a fight makes you look totally badass.  And treating evil ninja-ladies like crap will turn them good and make them love you.  I hear tell that the ninja skill is very elusive, though.  This is probably the most enjoyable Shaw Brothers film I’ve seen to date.  Great fighting, amazing bad dubbing, and a crazy story.  If you enjoy this kind of movie, you’ve got to check this one out.

ParaNorman:  Not quite the kid-friendly movie I was expecting.  Not to say kids won’t like it, but it was more clever and a bit darker/more macabre than I figured.  There are some rather ghoulish bits, lots of surprising turns and some disgusting stuff.  It felt more like a kids/family movie of the early 80s, not as sanitized and non-threatening as most more modern kids movies.

Bored to Death Season 3:  “I do have a lot of sadness.  I’ve been very melancholic lately.”  The final season of this genius show is keeps me wanting more.  Twisted freaks orbiting around each other, self-obsessed monsters trying so hard to make a go at life.  One of the best comedy series I’ve ever seen, but frustratingly short.  Though it’s brevity means it never had time to outstay its welcome.  It’s nice to see a show about people as narcissistic and awkwardly confused as myself manage to get by.

Blow Out:  “You swallow a whole box o’ animal crackers?”  What the De Palma?  Boy, Brian De Palma loves Alfred Hitchcock.  But, Mr. De Palma, you sir are no Alfred Hitchcock.  It’s weird watching a movie where Nancy Allen is supposed to be sexy.  Not that she’s not an attractive woman.  I guess she is.  But she’s always had something of a soccer mom look, not a sex kitten.  And she’s so stupid in this one.  And Travolta is still a goofy bastard.  If there’s a lesson to be learned form this movie, I think it’s ‘invest in some danged curtains.’  Though the film is admittedly interesting looking, with plenty of visual gimmicks, the writing simply isn’t there, the acting is uneven, the music kind of sucks, and the tension rarely never gets very strong, sabotaged as it is by frequent silliness.

It's like the opening of 2001.  Where's the bone?

The Deadly Bees:  Swinging London has a bit of a bee problem.  Seems some strange cat has made an army of killer bugs with which he gives expression to his displeasure.  This feels like something half way between a Hammer and an American International film.  All those UK ‘that guy’ actors you’ll know if you’ve seen much from the era.  Suzanna Leigh is an odd leading lady, kinda weird looking, but kinda cute, too.  What I’ve come to call ‘ugly-pretty.’

    After a long hiatus, I got back into a few episodes of Charlie’s Angels.  Yeah, I know.  It’s not a good show.  But the ladies are beautiful and it’s fun playing ‘spot the future star.’  It’s still tough watching Kate Jackson getting relegated to the van with a turtleneck.  And I got through another disk of Farscape.  Love that show.

Oh, no!  Evil Angels!

    “If it looks bad, don’t look!”  I listened to The Shadow Over Innsmouth audio adaptation.  One of Lovecraft’s most ‘cinematic’ stories, it’s got plenty of mood, action, and a classic twist.  The cast does a good job on this one, even with the New England accents.  They’re not amazing, but don’t sound too far off or forced.  I hope the H.P. Lovecraft Historic Society keeps going with these stories.

    I finished Sam Harris’ book, The Moral Landscape.  There’s some food for thought.  Lots of great quotes.  The guy makes you think.

    And I read volume 4 of Invincible.  Definitely the best super hero comic out there.  And it’s so refreshing reading a book like this, where there’s a unified and consistent vision, unlike the Marvel and DC stuff I’ve been reading.  Stuff that happens changes what will happen later.  And it doesn’t just get written off and ignored every two years.

-Matt

Matt’s Week in Dork! (5/13/12-5/19/12)

     Got an unusual amount of comic reading in this week.  Not a lot of movie, and those mostly at the end of the week.

Pippi Longstocking:  Dubbing.  Bad dubbing.  I imagine this would be a charming children’s film if it weren’t for the absolutely awful dubbing.  It sounds like all the children and all the women are voiced by the same woman.  And I think the men may all be by the same guy.  It has pretty good production design and the story is fun.  But I just couldn’t get past the terrible voice work.  A young kid might still enjoy it, if he/she is too young to notice how bad the audio is.  It eventually becomes somewhat interminable.

The Fury:  Psychics and spies, man.  You can’t trust ‘em.  After all the psychedelic drugs, government betrayals, and scientific advancements of the mid 20th Century, pseudoscience and hucksterism became pretty commonplace.  And science fiction, especially movies, took it up with a passion.  Along with the rise of religious based horror movies like The Exorcist there was a rise of this sort of pseudoscience horror films like Firestarter, Scanners, Spontaneous Combustion, and this, among many others.  I think there was a genuine feeling that we as humans were changing dramatically, awakening psychically.  Of course, it’s all bunk, but it made for some pretty cool movies.  I do love a good conspiracy story, and psychic powers give it a little something extra.  Kirk Douglass is pretty cool in this one, too.  Honestly, the movie goes on a bit too long.  But it’s not bad.

Alien:  A slow-burn, classic monster movie with post-Star Wars, lived-in future setting, Alien stands as not just a great science fiction film or a great horror film.  It’s a great film.  Exceptionally well crafted, it balances scares and gore with a fantastic cast of believable, likable characters.  When bad things happen, you care.  You want these people to do OK, because they’re just like you.  The effects still look good 30 years on.  The creature design is one of the most iconic in film.  The music, the direction, the acting are all top notch.  This is a classic.

Aliens:  Totally different in tone, scope, and style, this James Cameron follow-up to Alien is a grand, balls-out action movie with lots of quotable lines, colorful if not especially well developed characters, cool tech, and lots of thrills.  Roving hoards of alien soldiers rampage through dark, cluttered hallways as humans try desperately to stay alive and escape.  For a long time, I said I love both Alien and Aliens, for different reasons.  In recent years, I’ve realized that for me, though lots of fun and very cool, Aliens is not as good a film.  It’s solid.  It more than gets the job done.  But in the grand scheme of cinema history, I don’t think it stands the test as well.  That said, still a totally awesome flick, and an interesting sequel.  A must see for action sci-fi fans.

Tracker:  After loosing everything during the Boer War, a weary South African (Ray Winstone) travels to New Zealand looking for…something.  Returning home, a Maori (Temuera Morrison) whaler seeks something as well.  A pursuit through the wilderness ensues, with each man learning of the other, and themselves.  This is one of those classic ‘men’ movies like they made in the 60s and 70s, about loss, honor, shame, redemption, dignity, and respect.  Shot like a classic Western, it feels a bit out of time, but not at all in a bad way.

London Boulevard:  Bad guy Colin Farrell is fresh out of the pen and looking to change his life’s direction.  But you know, they keep pulling you back in, criminals do.  He tries to go straight, working for a reclusive actress, but beastly criminal overlord Ray Winstone is having none of that.  Like a lot of British films, much of the actual violence is off screen or less explicit/graphic, but there is an intense dread (perhaps caused by this very thing) that permeates the film.  A solid UK crime film, stylish without being style driven, which can be a problem in British movies these days.  Great soundtrack.  If you have a problem with accents, especially the London lower class types, you might need subtitles.

Night Call Nurses:  What the crap, man?  The 70s were weird.  The tone is all over the place.  The encounter group strip sequence is all kinds of sketchy.  Creepy stalkers.  Bad ADR.  Prowling Dick Miller.  And so much strange social semi-consciousness.  Touchy feely (literally) psychology is downright icky.  And that wacky flasher.  He’s so sweet.  Thank goodness there’s also a transvestite psycho killer.  And for the record, a pill-poppin,’ motor-mouthed redneck might not be the best choice to drive a get-away vehicle.  I do miss those natural women of the 70s, though.

Candy Stripe Nurses:  “Even the streakers move better than that!”  Young women get into the sex-charged world of candy striping.  It’s pretty much just wall to wall sex, with dashes of violence, drugs, and rock n’ roll to spice things up.  And then they go to the sex clinic and things really get out of hand.  What’s weird is that in spite of my hatred of the so called pixie cut, the girl who has one in this movie is adorable.  She has an charm that shines through in pretty much every scene.  The Frank Zappa looking rocker is a trip.  And the whole search for a witness subplot takes things in some weird directions.  Dick Miller heckling some basketball players is a highlight.

    Waking up Sunday morning, after the madness of Shat Attack V, Brad, John, and I kept things going with a few episodes of the Star Trek animated series.  The show has some real problems.  The animation isn’t good.  The voice work is spotty.  And some episodes are crap.  But, being animated, they’re able to carry ideas further, and generally do grander concepts.

    Keeping the Shatner/Trek thing going, Brad, Ben, and I watched Balance of Terror, the first episode to feature the Romulans.  I like the Romulans more in the original series, where they’re dignified and dangerous, not the shifty back-stabbers of Next Gen.  Then Ben and I watched a childhood favorite of mine, Devil in the Dark, with the very alien Horta.

    A bunch of us went out to see The Avengers.  It was my second time seeing it, the other three’s first.  Enjoyed by all.  On my second go, I found a few new fun bits.  Excellent popcorn entertainment.  It may be a bit over done with Scarlett Johansson in a catsuit.  But worse things could happen.

    Knocked out a couple more episodes of Charlie’s Angels, which is sadly not keeping me as excited.  Season one was so much fun, but season two doesn’t have the magic.  It’s OK.  Just not as good.

    I read the first issue of Boom! Studio’s new series Higher Earth by Sam Humphries.  Not too much happens (a lot of action with little story), but it does introduce a potentially interesting setting involving multiple Earths.  The art by Francesco Biagini isn’t bad and the final image in the issue makes me want to see what happens next.

    I followed that up with the Free Comic Book Day double of Serenity and Star Wars.  Both stories were written by Zack Whedon.  They’re fine, very brief, self contained tales.  The Star Wars art by Davide Fabbri is pretty good.  But I really, really didn’t like the Fabio Moon work on Serenity.  I would love to see Serenity continue as an ongoing comic or something.  But I sure as heck wouldn’t want to see it drawn by Moon.  There are a couple other little tidbits in the issue; glimpses of other Dark Horse projects.  Alabaster, by Caitlin R. Kiernan interests me not at all.  But Brian Wood’s The Massive seems like it has potential.  I’ll be curious to see what it looks like when it actually comes out.

    “What hath mad science wrought?!”  Atomic Robo is one of those comics that I just know I should be reading, but for whatever reason, I’m not.  It’s kind of like a more light hearted Hellboy, with lots of retro-science fiction stuff.  Reading the Free Comic Book Day issue reminded me I should really grab the first trade.  Also included were short teasers for NeoZoic, which seems like it could be a cool idea, but didn’t really pique my interest, and Bonnie Lass, which wasn’t even a little bit interesting to me and has dreadful art.

    While I was on a kick of reading stapled together comics, I dipped back into some of the New 52 first issues I hadn’t read.  Green Lantern: New Guardians was up, and it was OK.  It’s a Kyle Rayner centered series I guess, so…well, meh.  I am curious what the deal is with what happens in the issue.  I don’t know if it’s enough to pick up the trade or not, but maybe.  Tyler Kirkham’s art isn’t especially memorable, but it gets the job done.

    Following that, I read Teen Titans, a totally forgettable bunch of ho-hum.  The great thing about the Teen Titans is that it takes characters I don’t care about, and makes young versions of them.  Because EVERYONE likes to see younger versions of characters.  Like with the Star Wars prequel movies.  I always wanted to see a child version of Darth Vader and Boba Fett.  Didn’t you?  Kid Flash?  Wonder Girl?  F this comic.  How do you make me like the Justice League even less?  Make them all teenagers.

    And I read Batman, which was pretty much the same-old same-old for the Bat.  Dark, dark, dark.   Brood, brood, brood.  The artwork is OK.  But like so much Batman, it feels like they’re just going over all the same stuff yet again.  I want to like Batman more than I do.  I think he can be a genuinely interesting character (see: Batman Begins).  But it seems there’s some unwillingness to really DO anything with him that hasn’t been done a dozen or more times before.  I’ll be skipping the trades of this one.  But I imagine if you’re normally into reading Batman, there’s plenty to like, since it appears to be the same thing you’ve been enjoying for years.

    All Star Western’s first issue was up next.  I dig the idea of Jonah Hex, but I never really read any of his comics.  I’ve liked when he’s shown up in the various cartoons.  And I didn’t totally hate the movie (though it is pretty awful).  Plus, with my getting hooked on Red Dead Redemption a couple years ago (during my awesome Western month), I’ve just got a general hankering for some grim Western action.  Bringing a classic DC Western character into early Gotham is an interesting choice.  I don’t know if it’s a good one.  The plot of this comic feels pretty much like From Hell, if Eastwood’s Man With No Name were the central character.  There’s a Mason-like secret society, murdered whores, bumbling cops, and all the usual.  The team-up with Dr. Arkham (obviously, the guy the asylum is named for) could be really cool, but I have a strong feeling it’s going to get botched.  Plus, the fact that he’s drawn to look like a raving maniac in most panels makes me think it’s going to be one of those “what a twist!!!” endings where he’s the real killer or something like that.  It’s intriguing enough that I might consider reading it in trade.  We’ll see.

    Now, here’s a random one.  I read a ‘Marvel One-Shot’ called Thor: Man of War, written by comic golden boy Matt Fraction.  I’ve never been much of a Thor fan, though I enjoyed the new movie.  I feel like this is supposed to be a sort of origin story.  Mostly it’s just Thor being combative and Odin wanting to slap him down.  The art is pretty good, plenty dramatic.  I don’t know enough about the overall Thor comic mythology to catch any references, so I don’t know if it has anything extra for fans.  But it was a decent story, and it might make me want to read more, depending one who was involved and where the story might go.

    Heck, why not follow that up with another Thor comic?   So I did.  Once again, Matt Fraction is on the scene with Thor: Ages of Thunder.  This is a far more grand and mythological story with titanic battles between gods and frost giants.  Thor feels kinda like Conan here, or like, well Thor of mythology.  The art is fittingly wide screen, with panels sometimes stretching across both pages, and lots of almost painterly images.  Considering the last page has a ‘to be continued in…,’ I don’t’ think the folks at Marvel quite get what a ‘one-shot’ is.  Or, I don’t get what they’re doing.  Still, it works fairly well on its own.  Am I gonna have to find a Thor trade to read?  Probably not.  But maybe.

    One more Thor issue.  This time, Thor: The Truth of History written and drawn by Alan Davis.  The book looks and feels more “comic booky” than the other two I read.  Less mythological.  Still, it’s a fun kind of goofy tale that reaches back to ancient Egypt.  Thor is a pretty crazy character to have in the Marvel universe.  Actually, really crazy.

    For a change of pace, I read the first issue of IDW’s post 2009 movie Star Trek comic.  I guess there’s nothing wrong with it.  It’s fairly well written and the art isn’t bad.  But shoehorning the plot from my personal favorite original series episode, Where No Man Has Gone Before into the new universe feels all kinds of wrong.  This timeline is too different to revisit stories, or at least to revisit them in much the same way they were originally done.  I wouldn’t mind them working in Gary Mitchell and Lee Kelso, or Elizabeth Dehner for that matter.  But the way it’s done doesn’t sit right with me.  And as it looks like it’ll be sticking pretty slavishly to the plot points of the episode, I don’t feel any particular desire to read on.

    Another of DC’s New 52 first issues down with Men of War #1.  The updating of Sergeant Rock doesn’t do anything for me.  Rock, like Jonah Hex, is too connected to his era.  When I think Sgt. Rock, I think the Second World War, not modern combat.  And nothing in the first issue captured my interest.  The art is fine and the writing seems OK.  Just not my cup of tea.

    Then on to another New 52, Blackhawks.  The art in this is just too anime for my taste, and very little actually happens in the issue.  No interesting characters or plotlines appear in the first issue.  And while I always dug the old comic (what very little of it I ever read), this one doesn’t appeal to me at all.  Frankly, the dialog feels kind of like something out of Claremont’s X-Men…and that ain’t good.  Not as bad, by any means.  But along those lines.

    And, why not.  #1 of The Flash.  Now, here’s a character I’ve just never cared for.  I watched the TV show that came out in the post Tim Burton Batman days, but mostly because I had a crush on Amanda Payes from her time on Max Headroom.  But in comics, meh.  And I never much cared for his various appearances in the cartoons, either.  This issue seems like a good jumping off point if the character interests you at all.  It leaves you with a good ‘huh?’ moment, and a potentially good mystery.  But I still don’t care about The Flash.  The art is a little uneven, sometimes quite nice, others not.

    Finally, the last of the New 52 first issues Brad and/or I picked up, Wonder Woman.  The art is OK and the writing pretty good.  There could be a pretty good story being set up.  But, it could easily become hackneyed if the writer isn’t careful.  Wonder Woman is one of those characters I’ve always wanted to like, but have been given very little reason to do so, and much more not to.  So, I hope Brian Azzarello is going to bring the goods.

    All this comic reading got me rummaging through some boxes, where I came up with a bunch of Free Comic Book Day issues from last year that I didn’t read.  Not to mention my haul from SPX, which I picked at, but didn’t read a great deal of.  First off the pile was Green Lantern: Special Edition.  It was a piece of some larger ‘Secret Origin’ story, which basically just told the Lantern’s origin story, with an added detail about Abin Sur’s final flight.  Then there’s some teaser for their ‘Flashpoint’ story, which I gather was designed to set the stage for the New 52.  Not much of anything interesting in this issue, at least, not for John Q. Public (read: me).

-Matt